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anonriothearse · 1 year
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*if they met as kids*
Junior: We can't just say we're going to be friends. We gotta have an agreement or something.
Barbie: Okay.
Junior Rennie: I, Junior Rennie, swear to die for Barbie Barbara and always stick up for him and never snitch on him and be his friend forever.
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anonriothearse · 1 year
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[Sheila has opened the car door for Kim to enter]
Kim: Thank you, dear. It's so sweet of you to be the thoughtful wife after all these years.
Sheila: You're very welcome. Besides the neighbors might be watching.
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anonriothearse · 1 year
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Maura: You wanna' mess around later?
Jane: I can't, I'm grounded.
Maura: How come?
Jane: My father caught me eating pie in bed.
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anonriothearse · 1 year
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Jesse: Do you really like me, Wally?
Walt: I guess so.
Jesse: Do you like me a whole lot?
Walt: Look, don't get sloppy on me. I might just slug you one.
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anonriothearse · 1 year
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[in the middle of a fight with thugs, Nick accidentally punches Monroe in the face]
Nick: Oh, God! Sorry, Monroe!
Monroe: [nonplussed] It's alright. Strong form.
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anonriothearse · 1 year
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Cat: Ooh! I love babies! Jesus was a Baby!
Jade: Yes, he was also a murder victim.
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anonriothearse · 1 year
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Juandissimo: Is she as pretty as you? Cupid: She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but she's not completely unfortunate looking.
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anonriothearse · 1 year
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Remy: "I can't believe you just called me a butthead. I don't think anybody has called me a butthead since the 9th grade." Timmy: "Maybe not to your face."
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anonriothearse · 1 year
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Tony: “You got into Harvard Law?” Tim: “What? Like, it’s hard?”
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anonriothearse · 1 year
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Tony: Nice costume.
Loki: You too. Except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.
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anonriothearse · 1 year
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Licorice: You'll need this.
Mint: Your scrunchie?
Licorice: My lucky scrunchie. It helped me pass Spanish.
Mint: You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Kandy a lap dance after the final.
Licorice: Yeah – luckily.
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anonriothearse · 1 year
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Nicholas Devereaux: I'm Nick. Viscount Mabrey's nephew.
Andrew Jacoby: Ah, the chap who's trying to stage the palace coup. I'm Andrew Jacoby. Nice to meet you.
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