andyourhostkristenwiig
Life's short, talk fast!
Caroline. 29. Germany
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Aw German television will be showing Wonder woman 1984 next Sunday, and they pronounced Kristen's name right !
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Yesterday we were at my grandma's apartment, sorting through stuff.
Ever since I moved out of my parents I have not baked a single time, I don't even own anything to bake simply because I'm not into baked stuff like cake or cookies. But we found a collection of recipes at my grandma's. Random old recipes from cake we had at her place tons of times, to stews we've never heard of, some recipes used such outdated words that not even my parents knew what they were...some recipes were written on hotel stationary before the reunification.
I'm gonna go get new kitchen stuff and then I'll try out all those recipes. This is gonna be funny because some of the recipes only state the ingredients and not what you're supposed to be doing with it.
#still hoping to find her potato soup recipe somewhere 馃ズ#her fricassee!?#mine is great but grandmas was outstanding and the greatest thing ever
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Also I can't gif Kristen's snl episode or Palm Royale because these assholes ate my WiFi and I'm not sure when I find the time to get a new cord.
But they looked cute at the me afterwards so they still get cuddles
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Soo I realised I just dropped off the face of the earth after saying my grandma was at the hospital.
Well, things got really bad really quickly. That night, Sunday, they did operate her and we got a call that she made it through just fine at shortly before midnight.
But then on Monday morning my mom called me to tell me my grandma wouldn't make it through the day anymore. I had the option to say goodbye to her one last time but she wasn't really conscious and on all sort of wires so I said I couldn't do it. That just couldn't be the last image I had of her in my head.
Barely 3 hours later my mom called to tell me she's gone.
And this was really hard on me. It came so sudden, there was never a thought that this would be it, there was always the thought "Oh we'll do this with her when she's back home."
My grandma was a big part of my every day life. For 7 years now I've done her weekly grocery shopping with or for her. I spent lunch breaks with her if she had an appointment near my work. I cooked and ate with her at least once a month. Sometimes I'd pick her up to go eat because we were both alone at home. The other day I passed the place we would eat at, and had to quickly walk away because I had to cry at the thought that I would never eat there again with her.
But what's getting to me the worst is that after this festival was through, when I could go on vacation again, we wanted to go to Vienna together. She said she's always wanted to go but never got to with my grandpa. So we agreed that we'd start planning in Fall. It really pains that I couldn't give her this.
Work is stressful, it's hard to lose someone who's been such a big part of your daily routine. So I'm actually only working on like medium heat right now.
These past three days, I've grabbed a friend and attended three concerts in three different cities and it's really helped blow off steam. The shouting, the dancing...also Kristen's SNL episode couldn't have come at a better time.
We're all a bit lost right now. I officially don't have grandparents anymore before ai turn 30 and I'm honestly having a hard time dealing with that because all of my sisters and cousins got so much more time with our grandparents. Ironically, or maybe it's a sign idk, the funeral will be held on the 8th anniversary of my grandpa's death and she will be reunited with him officially.
#my therapy? spending too much money at ikea and leaving a fortune at the concerts#but it made me feel a bit better and it occupied me so be it
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So before we even made it to her room, the doctor and nurses had us wait in the waiting room. Apparently her colon ruptured, and the surgery they desperately wanted to hold off had to be done.
They had my mom and uncle sign forms because this is a high risk, complicated surgery under not the ideal circumstances. They're doing all they can but it didn't sound good.
Look, I've never liked my uncle. When I was little, I was even afraid of him and I don't even wish him a happy birthday if I see him that day. But hearing my uncle sob upon those news and hugging my mom as if they were back to being little brother and big sister at home...that broke my heart even more
They're keeping her on oxygen and out of coma until we've all had the chance to say goodbye.
My grandma says she doesn't want to go on anymore. The doctors are keeping her out of the coma until we were there cause they said she has so little will to continue that it's unlikely she will wake up again but it isn't entirely impossible
So here's to a lousy Easter!
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They're keeping her on oxygen and out of coma until we've all had the chance to say goodbye.
My grandma says she doesn't want to go on anymore. The doctors are keeping her out of the coma until we were there cause they said she has so little will to continue that it's unlikely she will wake up again but it isn't entirely impossible
So here's to a lousy Easter!
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It's no secret that my grandma and I had a love/hate relationship until I was like 24. She would always compare me to my sister's and cousins and whatever I did was never enough, she'd disapprove of everything and always let me know.
But my grandma was sick these past weeks and admitted to the hospital. But the doctors always said it was gonna be okay, she was doing better.
Well...my mom just got a call that she's being put into a coma because she couldn't breath on her own anymore. And it's not looking good right now at all. The hospital made sure to mention the urgency.
And as disapproving she's been for so many years of my life, she's really made up for it these past years...and she's my last remaining grandparent. She's always been sick here and there and made everything a bigger deal than it was but she's always come out of it...she's come out of coma when she had covid and the doctors didn't think we'd ever see her again.
But this...we were gonna have dinner together once she was fit again. We were gonna go to Austria together this year after I was done with the festival. Because my grandpa never wanted to go to Vienna with her but she's been dreaming about it forever. So I said I'd go with her.
And now all of this might not happen.
She can't breath on her own, her kidneys are in a bad condition and she was gonna have surgery on her colon once the kidney and breathing was fixed.
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Every year on Easter Sunday since I moved out of my parents place, I invite my mom and one of my sister's over for dinner and to watch a certain show on TV, special treat once a year being shrimps with cocktail sauce. Every year for the past 5 years!
Every year my other sister would invite us crazy early to watch the kids easter egg hunt before brunch.
And now? Without so much of a second thought or a question, my sister invited us for 3pm + dinner three days ago, when I had all groceries bought already.
馃槓 my mom hasn't said anything but when I asked her about it, it didn't sound like she was gonna come over to my place and instead have dinner with my sister and her family.
I mean, my sister is always pissed at me anyway so I will leave before dinner. The stuff I bought isn't exactly something that I can just let sit longer. Especially the shrimps.
Reminds me of her Christmas invitation when she suddenly decided we were gonna start at 1pm a few days before, when I had invited a friend for lunch weeks ago. And I ended up being the bad guy for skipping Christmas with the family.
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Apparently I've had this blog for 12 years now!?
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My colleague just came into the office with a bouquet of flowers, super happy about them and how they make her desk look so much nicer and how they motivate her to work.
馃檲 I'm allergic...thankfully I'm on allergy pills right now anyway. But the second those lillies bloom, my pills will be powerless and I have to tell her to remove them.
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perhaps some will disagree, but i think the world got worse when we changed the colour of the night
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Palm Royale - #1.01 - Pilot
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