alreadytaken23
There are always lessons in failure.
Too Many Ships to Count | Star Wars | OFMD | RWRB
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i wanna see rex in between these eras. i’m talking scruffy rex, five o’clock shadow rex. why not give this man a patchy salt and pepper beard?? what is stopping us???
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Lights, camera, bitch smile
#taylor out here hitting bangers#taylor swift#the tortured poets department#ts ttpd#I can do it with a broken heart#honestly such a gut wrenching song
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“I’m having his baby. No I’m not, but you should have seen your faces.” Iconic, no notes
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In every photo of Tom and Hephaestus, there's Tom, A Normal Human Man Who's Excited To Be There and then there's:
Hephaestus, a prestigious wizard scholar exuding radiance mystery and cosmic aura.
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One last kiss before leaving for a quick quest! ♥
Link is helping out the Monster Control Crew today :)
With the Demon King gone, there are no more Blood Moons. It's time to clean up Hyrule and Link volunteered to help. Zelda is proud of her boyfriend. They'll have pizza when he gets back ♥
Cheers!
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he said LOVE WINS
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unfiltered Jeff/Tom thoughts (family??)
Hephaestus falls HARD for Tom. Tom is incredibly intelligent, compassionate, and brave...but red heavens is he suspicious of that man....Particularly whenever Tom is hanging out with Jeff's family. Hm...
Hephaestus already feels permanently insane for letting himself fall in love with A TERRESTRIAL. And he already feels nuts that this Terrestrial is aware of his flaws. (Shudder. Hephaestus is beautiful and perfect and never makes any mistakes no one can know he is a flawed and broken individual, obviously.) Tom does not need to know that Hephaestus had a stutter up until the age of 10. Tom does not need to know that, when they were small, Hephaestus cried when Hesperos convinced him that he was already tardy on applying to be a rector and had missed the deadline.
Baby Hesperos: Everyone knows you must apply before your horns are this long.
Baby Hephaestus: (gasp) how long????
Baby Hesperos: Hmmm. I'd say about your length, actually. Sorry, baby brother.
Tom does not need to know how uncool and unliked Hephaestus was as a teenager because Hephaestus was OBSESSED with becoming a rector. Hesperos has a billion stories about how much Teen Hephaestus hated their time on Earth, during their father's anthropological excursions. "You'd think a future rector would be more curious about the solar system they would soon be protecting...but oh no. Not my dear brother. There he'd be, off on some Terrestrial hilltop, miming out casting magic and cursing the Earth's stars. Which are our very same stars. Oh and he loathed Terrestrial cuisine."
Tom does not need to know any of these things, and yet, he is constantly capturing new stories on Hephaestus's youth. Suspicious. Hoarding information against Hephaestus, no doubt. And who knows to what end. Hephaestus's only solace is that when it comes to soliciting childhood stories about him—his mother is impregnable. Tom and his mother will never grow close. She was never a huge fan of Terrestrials like his father Crucibus was. She pair-bonded with his father because he was a passionate scholar, not for any fondness for Earth.
Yet imagine the "starless night" that Hephaestus utters when he finds Tom and his mom repairing the runes on the family's market trolley and his mom is like: "Ah, Hephaestus. I was just telling your bondmate about the time you upset this very carriage at Market Square, flipped over twice, and ended up to your horns in okra."
"Yeah, apparently you got some of the town scholars scratching their heads on how that even happened? Like the physics of it didn't make any sense. They took it to the village debate hall—"
"—it lasted a whole series. Historic debates, Thomas. I must show you the miniatures."
"You never told me you were the subject of a village wide debate, Hephaestus!"
Hephaestus looking between the both of them.
"I have not told you many things. And I will not tell you many things. Thomas, mother, you will cease sharing anecdotes about me at once."
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"Thomas."
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that time jenny made jeff (and tom and all the apprentices) festive antlers
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Tom: you know i never got a chance to really look at your casting wheel
Tom: (gets uncomfortably close to Hephaestus) are those bluebonnets???
Hephaestus: yes
Tom: that's amazing we had a whole field of those right where i grew up wow
Hephaestus:
Hephaestus: shut up
Tom: it's my favorite flower!
Jeff: Cast of Herding
(this transports Tom 1000000 miles away)
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Ngozi what do Eigan and Teddy look like? I'm asking in a completely scientific way -- no ulterior motives whatsoever
Hephaestus has rarely seen an apprentice form as strong a casting wheel as Genevieve's so quickly. She even has the beginning of a frieze, which is outstanding. (Virtually unheard of.) She could do better at invoking her casts, however. To summon a cast is to announce a story—Genevieve doesn't seem sure if she has the right to be telling one...
Red heavens. Sun and stars. Theodore's casting wheel is abysmal. The kidd should thank his lucky stars that oration and debate seem effortless for him. Even before the Martian High Council he is startlingly sure-hoofed on the dais. Even Hephaestus finds himself compelled when this Terrestrial boy starts to speak...
Prince Eigan simply needs more time—or self certainty. Everything about his casting is theoretically correct...his invocations clear and enunciated...not a star out of place...but there's a difference between invocation and recitation. Hm. How do you instruct an apprentice who is never wrong, but seems afraid of his own instincts? Hephaestus cannot decide if his Terrestrial friends are a poor influence or, somehow, precisely what he needs...
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"Professor Hephaestus?"
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800 words
Tom did the math—his leave would last twelve Martian series. That is, he would be gone in the time it takes for Deimos to rise, and set, and rise again on the Martian horizon a dozen times. So, a little under two months. Which was a very long time to be away from every single one of his patients, but an even longer time to be away from his intended bond mate.
Said bond mate stood, visage as placid as ever, at the door of the study. Tom cracked a smile. Hephaestus's dark eyes were looking over every inch of him, as if searching for a loose thread on Tom's flight suit, or a mission patch that had mysteriously moved to the wrong place. The Martian's hands ran up Tom's sides. Tom knew that as soon as they left the confines of Hephaestus's quarters, Thomas would be turned over to several apprentices who each wanted to say their goodbyes to their physician, Captain Aubrey. Xavyn would probably be chirping out parting thoughts to her co-chaperone while Tom was stepping through the Cast of Doors. Hephaestus and Tom's time together would be over.
"Stalling?" asked Tom. "Hoping I renege on NASA, the ESA, and Roscosmos to keep hanging out with you?"
Hephaestus's hands paused on Tom's hips. "Such a wish would be extraordinarily selfish of me."
"Hmmm, uh huh," Tom agreed, "and that's definitely not you."
"Your reports to the Terrestrial space agencies will be well valued," said Hephaestus. The Martian raised his chin. Tom saw the aha in the twitch of Hephaestus's eyebrow. He corrected the hastily folded collar of Tom's suit. "Especially your personal journals. And the healers and astrologists of the Royal Academy will keep the apprentices in good health." Now, Hephaestus seemed satisfied. (Or he couldn't find anything else to fuss over.) For his reluctant goodbye he said, "may your stars align. And may all your lectures be well attended."
Tom snorted. May all your lectures be well attended. Tom put his arms around Hephaestus's shoulders, pulled him close, and got a whiff full of the rector's hair—something of pepper and mint, like Martian cardamom. He stamped the scent in his memory.
"Well," Tom said. A quick kiss. "See you in a few months, Hephaestus. Don't miss me too much."
But his combat boots ended up stepping on clefted sundog hide. And Tom blinked, because he couldn't move. Or rather, Hephaestus was not letting him move. A reminder of how strong the average Martian was, when they wanted to be.
"Okay, now you're being selfish," Tom whispered.
"I will miss you an appropriate amount," said Hephaestus, continuing to hold him.
"Hah. See, I feel like if I start asking for details on what an appropriate amount of missing someone is," said Tom, "we'll stand here and get lost in semantics—"
Tom had a few years to get used to Hephaestus's expressions, or lack thereof. He had stopped searching for smiles. Hephaestus was the same whether he was watching Teddy finally (finally) perform a cast correctly, or if he was stepping into the ship's infirmary to check on Eigan battling a nasty case of the Twisted Horn. But it was everything else Hephaestus did that gave Tom context. The way Hephaestus nearly leapt on stage when Teddy's trembling casting wheel slowed the falling petals of a Vengorian rose; the number of times Hephaestus marched to the bow of the Almanac for updates on the Martian prince.
Apparently the goodbye kiss Tom had given him had been too short, because Hephaestus kissed him again. The rector then cleared his throat.
"I will await your company again at midday meal," said Hephaestus. "And I will lament tracing out our constellations alone. There will be the half-scent of your odd conditioners on my pillow..." He glanced over Tom's shoulder to the bedchamber, but snapped back. He heaved a sigh. "Alas, do not expect me to mope. I won't fall apart. I've much too many casts that need development. I'm sure that my armillary sphere will not cease to spin with queries from the High Council. I will attend to my scholar's readings during the series you are on Earth. The work of a rector must always be done."
Very important work for a very important Martian, who obviously won't miss me at all. Tom could see right through him.
"But," said Hephaestus, pausing. He knew Tom could see right through him. And there was sadness in dark brown eyes. "My mind will drift to you, Thomas, until you return."
Tom nodded.
"All right. You win. That is the exact appropriate amount."
The steady gaze and quirk of lips was as close to a smile as Tom was ever going to get out of Hephaestus. A halo of casting magic formed at the Martian's palm.
"Now leave," said Hephaestus. It was a command to go, but Tom noted that Hephaestus's other palm still rested on Tom's hip. "Or you shall miss the sunrise."
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I do love the idea of Tom's weirdo freak astrology making him virtually indestructible. Like. Completely invulnerable to stellar magic. It does not know what to do with him. Memory erasing spells? Stellar, now his memory is eidetic. Levitation spells? Cosmic, now everything else in this entire village is floating. Tom taking a mild potion so he can breathe underwater? Now every time he talks, it's a category 4 hurricane. You never really know with Tom Aubrey.
Hephaestus is fascinated by this, and constantly has to warn his students, other Martians, Vengorian engineers, and any Aphran they encounter—THAT Terrestrial? Don't do anything to THAT Terrestrial. You think you're giving him a simple frytus tincture for warmth, and boom, all your clothes are disintegrated. Yours. Not his.
Like, Tom is self-aware. He has always known that weird phenomena happen around him. Because, hey, Earth has magic too!! He's never met a cat that didn't stare at him for hours! When Mercury is in retrograde, well shoot, his shoes never stay tied. (No, like—he has seen them untie themselves.) Alternatively, sometimes, when Mercury is in retrograde, he might have the best week of his life. Problem is, everyone around him has terrible luck.
One time, when he was a kid at summer camp, one of the counselors saw a shooting star and said, "Hey, Tommy make a wish!" And Tom's sister Ashley slapped a hand over Tom's mouth and goes, "COUNSELOR MIA? DO YOU WANT US ALL DEAD???"
The first time Hephaestus takes Tom to a startakers workshop to get an astrolabe, Hephaestus really has to explain everything to this crafter. Because his Terrestrial partner is weird. Straight up, crossed. "I would suggest, for my companion here, an astrolabe with much higher first gold content than usual. And, red heavens, the mold must be impeccably cast. The plates perfectly balanced. There can be no room for error."
And this ewe is just staring at him like, "Rector Hephaestus, and what is so special about this Terrestrial—?"
Meanwhile, Tom has lined up an astrolabe fitted with a plate for The Cast of Storms. "Hey, I don't know if I got this thing working correctly—"
The astrolabe glows and pretty much explodes in his hands. Hephaestus and the startaker get thrown back. A wall of the workshop is gone. Smoke and dust is settling. Several meters off, Tom stands up from wreckage as Martians crowd around him murmuring and pointing.
"Hephaestus," shouts the startaker, "Yes, Rector Hephaestus! Red heavens! How can that Terrestrial get hit by a CAST OF STORMS and still stand?"
And Hephaestus is brushing dust off his cape. "Hm. Ah yes, Captain Aubrey. He's just...that way."
Tom's waving in the distance. "I'm okay!"
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Solar Trials Lingo
"clouds" - shit
"starless night" - dammit
"starless night and sandstorms" - FUCK!...FUCK!!!!!
"may your stars align" - farewell
"And I pray that your stars fall—or better yet, get crossed." - oh. oh, absolutely fuck you
"stellar" - splendid
"celestial" - incredible
"kidd" - a young person (pronounced "kit")
"twilight" - an extremely affectionate form of address—essentially "darling." A term a certain professor has been known to use in very private moments with a certain!! physician!!!
"cosmic!" - cool!
"sun and stars!" - omg!
"shooting stars!" - wow!
"red heavens" - my word / dear lord / good god etc.
"Jeff" - The Esteemed and Learnéd Rector Professor Hephaestus Son of Crucibus
"extraterrestrials" - a very gauche, very earth-centric way of referring to non-human races in the solar system.
"E.T.s" - slang for extraterrestrials. Unfriendly, derogatory, and xenophobic.
earthlings — ✋🏾🚨 THIS IS A SLUR!!! 🚨✋🏾
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A reply to this post. YES. I AGREE. IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY.
OH! I know. Despite what I may have written in previously published Solar Trials porn fanfiction, Martians don't sweat very often. (Hot desert planet, horns and ears that dissipate heat. Also, Martians like Hephaestus put on an outfit and are like "Oh. I am Not sweating in this." And so they don't.) They can sweat, but this happens, primarily, when they are aroused.
Hephaestus can ignore when his apprentices perspire. Like when they're running for their lives and, say, are trying not to get crushed by a disrupted sorn hive. But Captain Aubrey has this weird habit: you know how starroot ships like the Almanac have impossibly large, forest-like hulls? That's their power source? (You know. Like, ask the Almanac—they have no idea how many decks they have. The first two or three decks are normal, but after that it's trees.) Anyway, Captain Aubrey has this thing where he wakes up and goes down there to run around. Hephaestus understands this is exercise, obviously, but Captain Aubrey spends every morning making himself sweaty on purpose. And he shows up on the main deck like:
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"Xavyn, is it customary for Martians to dress so…casually at meals?" asked Tom. "Don't you think the professor can get a little revealing?"
"Hm! That just might be an interplanetary difference" said Xavyn. "Is it customary for humans to choke on their food during meals? You do that a lot. Do you guys regurgitate too???"
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