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allaboutlifewithme · 2 months

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How to mend a broken soul with a broken heart?

There was this guy that I loved 13 years ago.

When he left me, my whole world crumbled and crashed beneath my feet. I struggled to survive with all the pain. Because no matter what he told me, even if it hurt me? In my mind, he was a good person and he never meant what he said. Because we were in a relationship in that short time, he never had that in him.

Time passed by, and I waited. Maybe he will try to reach out and tell me he was sorry and that I know he still loves me.

But there was none.

Until I decided to stalk him on social websites. And there he was! Finally, I saw him from a distance. Even if it was just through my computer screen.

But, ......

.....it was a painful sight to see. He was smiling and happy.

With his fiance.

They posted a prenuptial photoshoot that year.

DANG! That hit me hard!

*closed and shut my computer. tears flushed through my eyes*

After what I saw, I decided to let go, forget about him and move on.

***Several years passed. The present year 2024 came.***

I received a DM from an anonymous person. Curious about who it was, I responded and asked, The DM was all about asking how I was and happy to know that I was ok. Never wanting to give it's identity.

Since I didn't know who it was and thinking it was another prank from one of many people I knew, I always made sure to respond rudely and harshly.

It was until I managed to guess who it was.

He was the guy from 13 years ago.

Yup! Now, he is married to that girl I saw with him in the picture and has 2 children of their own.

He said he was reaching out to make amends and asking me if we can still be friends.

I thought to myself, yeah why the hell not? It was 13 years ago. So, I don't think this guy still matters to me, right?

We talked and chatted for almost a week.

Then he said,

"I still love you"

"I love you always"

Confusion and shock hit me.

First, is because he is now married with 2 children. Why is he telling me he still loves me?

A lot of questions poured out of my mind.

But before I even heard those words when we start to communicate this year again? I realized I missed talking with him. I realized that it might be already 13 years, but the feeling was still there. It never left. It was just buried but never gone.

I can't admit that to him. That's why I turned away. I blocked him.

It was painful and heartbreaking.

It felt like the pain from 13 years ago came back all of a sudden.

But only this time, I am the one turning my back.

Because I know this is the right thing to do.

Because I know I never want to put anyone in pain. In our case, it will be his wife and children.

All I'm tryna say here is, that all the people who came into our lives have every impact. It might be a good or a bad one. But they all did matter.

Our minds might forget, but our hearts will never forget the feeling.

If y'all people out there who is experiencing the same or similar thing, fight it.

If you are given a second chance? GRAB it. Only if you won't be stepping into someone else's.

With me?

Yes, I still love him after all these years. But I don't want to be selfish and take him from his family.

xoxo

#love #i love him #relationship #feeling #i love you #unconditional love

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