Keep in mind when I follow you I'm following you with my main blog @alan-p-49 bc this is a side blog that I've made where I vent on here because I feel like I'll exhaust everyone on main

Anyone wanna be friends?

Credit to moeai.art on Tik Tok

Why am I horny when I am not okay?

Why do I get horny at the thought of someone using me? What is wrong with me?

Ok I think I do have a breeding kink but the thing is I don't want to actually have kids I just wanna pretend that the cum makes me pregnant so I started thinking if I could get lube that has the consistency of cum and just grab a syringe and then y'know

Why do I get horny from thinking about getting abused again? Is it because deep down I think I'm only worth is sex? I do wanna be beaten and raped because I don't deserve anything good because I'm worthless. Even my boss thinks I'm inadequate. Maybe I should cut myself really badly before I go to work and show them that they're hurting me. I was so happy. I felt so useful. I want to make 600 USD a week again

Why when I get horny I am full of dread?

Idk I think I really was aroallo until trauma happened and now I'm aroace

Like bro when I was so horny when I was younger and before all this sa happened to me and I kind of want to go back to where I was okay with sex and all kinds of horny shit without having a chill down my spine or crying or fearing that I'll get hurt again

Is it sexual assault when the person who did this to you loved you?

I need to read metamorphosis (the hentai) but I think it would be very triggering for me

Don't you hate it when you're horny and you just become blind to anything that would actually harm you? Especially when you're desperate for dick and validation?

Tbh I'd be only be interested in doing the breeding kink when I have my tubes tied. I rather imagine being impregnated rather than worrying that I would actually get pregnant. Like, I like the idea of cum filling me up but I don't actually want the consequence of getting pregnant. Like do you get what I'm saying?

i feel like god wants me to die now