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Milagro Fic Recommendations
These are good for any time of year, of course, not just February 14. But here are my favorite fics related to the season 6 episode Milagro, a long time favorite. (And @sisterspooky1013's favorite episode of all time: happy VD, girl!) I’ve been reading and sifting through these for some time, and I have tried to include some from all eras: newer AO3 fics, some written right after the ep aired, etc. But I'm sure I've missed some, so hit me with your own faves, please.
Because of Milagro's ending, this entire genre of fic tends to be heavy on the hurt/comfort and angst (which is fiiiiine by me), but that’s not all that’s here. Many of these are smutty, but not all.
Adagio - Terma99
A meditative, peaceful take on the aftermath of Milagro by a veteran author that includes both agents realizing something they had learned. Lovely.
Alma - 6hoursgirl (@sixhours)
A lovely hurt/comfort Milagro piece. This one is Mulder POV, which is a little less common for post-Milagro, I think, and I like this characterization of Mulder as desperately wanting to help Scully, desperately wanting to protect her, but also a tiny bit scared of the intimacy and relationship he feels they’re on the cusp of. He’s so good-hearted and also a little dysfunctional here, and I love it.
Bated Breath - dreamingofscully (@dreamingofscully)
This one has an original take on Scully's experience; it leaves Scully with clarity and new direction in her relationship with Mulder. DreamingofScully tends to write a more confident, in-charge Scully in the MSR than some do, and I appreciate it.
Beyond the Strokes of a Typewriter - storybycorey (@storybycorey)
When Scully is stricken and ashamed that it’s been so long since anyone has seen her as a woman as Padgett did, Mulder is pushed to revelations. Mulder 3rd person POV. Very good smut build up. And nobody does a gorgeous feelings reveal from Mulder like storeybycorey, man.
I Believe - Diana Battis
There are a lot of lovely, heartfelt hurt/comfort fics about the aftermath of Milagro (for obvious reasons), but this one is especially well done. Viewed from Scully’s third person point of view, it focuses on Mulder’s capacity for tenderness and guilt. Plus some smut.
Don’t Look Up - ArtemisX5
After Padgett's hallway revelation, Scully is horrified that she has no secrets left. But you know, Mulder is much slower on the draw than she gives him credit for. There is also such moving hurt/comfort in this.
Intimacies with Strangers -mldrgrl (@mldrgrl)
This mid- and post- Milagro piece has Mulder and Scully simmering in tension and then boiling over. Their relationship is complex and painfully entangled, and I love how it plays out. There is also excellent Scully characterization. This one helps me to get more fully why she might have been drawn to Padgett initially, something I struggle with in the episode.
La Madrugada - h0ldthiscat
A carefully told tale of RST that takes both characters seriously and is sincerely moving. Excellent.
Lacuna - Aloysia_Virgata (@aloysiavirgata)
This is a longer work, not really a classic post ep per se. But I love this moody, angsty casefile set right after Milagro. This Scully has not come to terms with her emotions, is thoroughly freaked by how she reacted to Padgett, and hasn't even entirely worked out how she feels about Mulder. There is Scully/other here, but the ship is steering home. The end of this is so moving, but cw: dark themes in the casefile, extreme violence against children, traumatized agents.
Still Life - Seek_Its_Opposite (@seek-its-opposite)
Ah, this is such a thoughtful and exquisitely written Scully character piece — and it contains some truly beautiful insights about Mulder, too. It suggests the heartbreaking idea that Mulder’s way of showing Scully respect (giving her distance) is continually hurting her. So tragic (and consistent with canon, e.g. Never Again.) One memorable line: “Every one of their fights is about how to care for one another, every last one.”
Alma Gemela - matchingfabric (@matchingfabric)
After the events of Milagro, Scully (and Mulder) get accustomed to platonically sharing a bed for comfort. This is a slightly different take on post-Milagro. Exceptionally, irresistibly sweet. Oh, and smutty.
What did I miss? Tell me. And yes, I'm working on my own short Milagro fic that will be coming soon-ish.
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Shared these on Reddit on Vince Gilligan's birthday and since there are happy people in the comments I'm also posting them here: please enjoy some fan favorites written by Gilligan (link is to one of my storages, not the spnscripthunt storage):
Season 2
2x23 Soft Light (Blue-Full)
Season 3
3x17 Pusher (Salmon-Pages)
Season 4
4x02 Unruhe (Blue-Full)
4x08 Paper Hearts (Goldenrod-Pages)
4x14 Leonard Betts (Salmon-Pgs; 2nd Blue pages ONLY)
4x15 Memento Mori (Gold-Pages)
4x20 Small Potatoes (Pink Rev.)
Season 5
5x01 Unusual Suspects (Pink-Pages)
5x12 Bad Blood (Green-Full)
5ABX19 Folie à Deux (Blue-Full)
Season 6
6ABX02 Drive (Blue)
6ABX04 Dreamland (Yellow Rev)
6ABX05 Dreamland II (Pink Rev)
6ABX15 Monday (Pink Rev)
6ABX19 Three of a Kind (Gold Rev.)
Season 7
7ABX01 Hungry (Green Rev)
7ABX05 Millennium (Yellow Rev)
7ABX12 X-Cops (Production Draft)
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Are there any MSR fics where Mulder and Scully go through the adoption process to adopt a child after IVF fails? Ideally still platonically (for the pining 😅) but I'll read anything 😂
Not quite; buuuuuuuuut there are a few where they contemplate adoption.
The Only Choice - Chapter 16/The Only Choice - Chapter 21: The Only Choice follows Scully and Mulder after All Things, but focuses more on their future together-- including multiple chapters on adoption.
marked maybe: Mulder hints at adoption post IVF failure; and assures Scully he'll do whatever it takes.
@baronessblixen's What We Are (tumblr.com) mentions Mulder's willingness to adopt if Scully wants.
Do You Want to Believe?: Chapter 19 of this entertaining Choose Your Own Adventure mentions it in.
auld acquaintance/under the stars/encephalon - Chapter 2/ashes and dust - Chapter 1: Times Mulder or Scully thought of or mentioned adoption.
Bonus fics!
Reflections: Not IVF, but post Folie a Deux Mulder and Scully adopt a child which she'd previously dreamt about.
happily Alt. Tumblr: AU where Samantha was adopted by the nurse in Closure; and after Scully finds her and the siblings catch up, she and Mulder have a conversation about the failed IVF.
www.whispersofx.net/whispersofx/stories/quissi.txt: a bonus AU where pre-S1 Scully had married an abusive Jack Willis and adopted his child. Now, she and Mulder work towards a normal, healthy relationship.
Mulder and Scully Adopt an Alien/ 100 days of 100 word dialogue prompts - Chapter 43 One of my favorite crackfic pieces: Mulder finds an alien in his apartment eating his cereal.
Petition for Mulder and Scully to adopt and raise... (tumblr.com): AU Colonization Mulder, Scully, and William adopt a tiny Flukeman.
I have a couple other adoption flavors-- William recovery or someone in canon had been adopted by someone else, etc.-- that I'll probably put into a fic list some time in the future~.
Hope these did the trick~! :DDD
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O Holy No (1/10)
Using the last ten prompts from the 24 Days of the X-Mas Files Challenge to write a multi-chapter fic with angst, humor, and fluff in an alternate season 7.
Today's prompt is: sexy santa costume
Summary: It's Christmas time and Mulder and Scully are getting closer - or are they? And as a special gift for the season, Diana is around to wreak havoc, too. Only one thing is certain: it's going to be a Christmas to remember.
(Chapter one, wc: 1,103)
Tagging @today-in-fic
Four days til Christmas Eve and Scully feels giddy with excitement from head to toe. They closed their latest case, neither of them got injured or sick, and there’s nothing else to do until after the holidays. A rare moment in time and one she appreciates.
Mulder promised her that this year, he’d not even check any internet forums, and wouldn’t pick up the phone if anyone were to call him with a lead. She hasn’t asked him what he’s doing for Christmas yet this year and knows that if she invited him to her family Christmas, he’d decline. It's the same every year.
And this Christmas, she wouldn't just invite him to her mother's house. This time, they're celebrating in San Diego. If he were to come with her, it would mean more. And she’s not sure they’re ready for that particular more yet. As much as she wants to be. She’s caught herself daydreaming about catching Mulder under the mistletoe and fulfilling a fantasy she’s had for years.
Kissing him.
They’re getting closer. It’s as much in the air as the scent of fresh pine and gingerbread. Her heart pitter-pattered when Mulder asked her if she was busy after they got home. Said he wanted to exchange Christmas presents before she left for San Diego. She said yes. They’re not even pretending they didn't get each other anything for Christmas this time like they did last year. This year they’re unabashedly honest. At least about the fact that they got each other gifts. She’s been carrying one of his gifts with her for a while. It’s nothing special, just something she thought funny, and that she hopes he’ll appreciate.
“After exchanging gifts,” Mulder says, fetching his keys from his coat pocket and glancing at her. “Would you like to stay and watch a movie?” The way he blushes makes her smile. They’ve known each other for seven years, and they’ve spent countless hours together, and yet, he blushes asking her this.
“I’d like that,” she replies with a soft smile. Mulder unlocks his door with his eyes still fixated on her face. He’s grinning from ear to ear and Scully has to stop herself from not just skipping a few steps and jumping his bones. She’s the rational one here, after all.
“I think I know what- what the fuck.”
Scully doesn’t register right away what made Mulder stop dead in his tracks as she’s about to take off her coat. She stops with her arms mid-air when she sees what Mulder is seeing too. There, in front of his desk, surrounded by soft glowing Christmas lights, stands Diana. Wearing a tiny Santa costume, a smile, and not much else.
“There you are,” she says sounding chipper. There’s not a hint of discomfort on her face or in her behavior. She glances at Scully and blinks, but then her attention is back on Mulder. “You should have called and said you’d be late.” She throws herself at him and he catches her – much to Scully’s chagrin.
“Did you drive Fox home?” Diana asks Scully with raised eyebrows. Up close, she can get a good look at the other woman. Who isn’t at all shy, despite Scully’s presence. As if, as Mulder’s partner, she was of no consequence to Diana. The other woman is waiting for her to say something. But what? Scully’s mouth is dry. She fears that if she does open her mouth, she will be sick.
What she knows for sure is that this sight will haunt her for years to come. Diana’s dress clings to her, revealing every curve the woman has. Except where the dress ends mid-thigh. Scully wishes she could close her eyes, cover her ears, and run out of here. Her heart tightens, and so does her throat, when she realizes what this means.
The way Diana is acting, the way she’s not as all taken aback, she knew when Mulder was coming home. Meaning he must have told her. Which also means he knew she would be here. Diana is still hanging from his neck, and while Mulder looks pale and surprised, Scully doesn’t think it’s because of Diana. It’s because he forgot she was here and he invited her in. She was never supposed to see this, or know about this.
Her fantasy crumbles like a dry piece of cake. There’s not going to be a kiss under the mistletoe for her and Mulder. There’s not going to be a shift in their relationship. All these little moments she’s accumulated over the months amount to nothing. His touches weren’t lingering, his smiles weren’t brighter. Or if they were, it was because of Diana. Knowing she was waiting for him at home. Knowing he had someone to come home to. Who knew Mulder would get out of the car before she did – and with someone else, too.
“I’m just- I’m gonna go,” she says, falling over her words as much as her feet.
“Good idea,” Diana says sweetly. There’s bloody red lipstick on her teeth when she gives Scully a devilish smile. All the fight has gone out of Scully and she finds herself walking backward towards the door.
“Scully, wait,” Mulder says, shaking a clingy Diana off, who pouts at him. For a moment, though, his full attention is on Scully. There’s a haunted look in his eyes and he’s pleading with his words, and his gestures, but Scully barely hears him. She backs away, needing the distance between them.
“This is not what it looks like,” he says.
“Don’t lie to her, Fox.”
“I’m not lying.” His voice is menacing when he turns back around, addressing Diana. “I don’t even know how you got in here.”
“You gave me your key last time, remember?” It’s that last blow. Her words feel like a slap and Scully gasps. Tears sting her eyes, and she knows that if she doesn’t leave right away, she will break down in front of Diana, and she refuses to give the other woman that satisfaction.
“I’m leaving,” she says so quietly she’s not sure either Diana or Mulder hear. And if she’s honest, she doesn’t even care. She needs to get away and lick her wounds. Alone.
“Scully, please.” But she just keeps going, the clack of her heels her only companion because Mulder isn’t running after her. She keeps the tears at bay until she’s in a cab on her way back home.
How could she have read these last few months so wrong?
And when, she can’t help but wonder, did Mulder and Diana start dating?
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I Am, Once Again, Advertising touchstoneaf's S9 "Amor Fati" Fic Series
touchstoneaf’s epic Amor Fati (Fated Love)
(Previous post: X-Files Fic That Irons Out the Mytharc… by touchstoneaf)
It's... it's brilliant.
Description
Not one detail from the series is neglected; not one observation is out of joint; not one conjecture or plot thread from the mytharc is left unresolved (and is, in fact, further built upon), and not one moment between all of the characters is off target. Not only that, but it glues together plotholes as effortlessly as if those were the original show writers' intent; and builds and builds and builds the transition from surveillance at home to life on the run with a (psychic) baby.
I confidently say it IS the series: not just the characters' voices or their actions but as if the author captured Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz and all of the writers and actors' vision and-- for lack of a better word-- essence and put it all masterfully on paper. The best way I can describe it is it feels like how S9 would have been, should have been.
Part I is Scully's realization that she can't keep William safe (after his near death in S9) and her slow, cautious attempts-- with TLG's help-- to contact Mulder and slip from her job and her life. Her loved ones are all given their turns for farewell (yes, even Bill); Part II is S8-S9 memories and reunion and bliss and rediscovery and duck-and-dodge and the mytharc creeping back in; Part III is hands-on efforts by Mulder and Scully to save innocents and team up with Gibson and his dispassionate alien allies.
There are so, so many passages that are seared into my mind. If you, like me, want to jump right into the action, I recommend reading Part II's chapters 4 through 9-- the leadup to Scully and William's arrival in a small town, their tense execution of plans, and their reunion with Mulder in motel room 42. The entire series builds to that moment; and continues after, organically placing brick after brick after brick. If you are daunted by long-term commitment, it will, at least, serve as quick taste to either ignite or quench your interest.
And Now, For Quotes
I couldn't possibly select one quote as my favorite (not yet, anyway); and the passages below sadly leave out TLG and Skinner and Doggett and Monica and Maggie and Tara and Bill and excellent minor characters and so, so much more; BUT I can't leave these paragraphs behind, either.
She had once, more than once, had the experience of having to tell a false partner from the real one. She was one out of two on that scoreboard. /Have to get it right this time. If…/
Every sense had to remain engaged, in this moment. Every single detail…
A waft of warmer air... and it smelled of Mulder.... The barrel of a gun came first, poking shyly through, questing. Her internal timer counted off the seconds before she would see the arms, and then the head… There were the arms, familiar arms… then the hair she knew, then the face, the eyes…
Mulder’s eyes; legible to her as they would be to no one else on this Earth. He could be a shapeshifter. He could be being used… but she didn’t think so. Not when he looked at her like that. Not when she could see the thing in him that matched the thing inside herself.
and--
That Mulder had accepted this solace from her, as he had from no other being, had contributed almost immediately to bringing forth that strange intimacy that they had always had between them; first jocular, almost sibling-like, as he responded to her gentle teasing with startlement and a growing relaxation. This man who was so used to being abused by others with cruel taunting had been taken aback by her easy reaction to him. But by doing so, she had aided him in lowering his walls, and so now she would never be fooled by his many self-saving wisecracks. Neither was she fooled by the protection he had put off at first; his little show of, “Don’t mind me, I’m a harmless crackpot.” That image, which he had often put off to their superiors and detractors, was countered once you met him in person. Intelligent; yes. Without a doubt. Driven; yes. Almost wholly so. Foolish? Never in a hundred years; though he may have looked that way to others, may have even fostered that impression to aid him in his work.
and--
Mulder tensed, shoulders hunching as he felt her abortive movement. He shook his head angrily against the memories, but when he spoke his voice was quiet with acceptance… and so plumbed with loss that she felt her own heart break. “I needed you so badly, Scully,” he finished softly; as if the admission cost him dearly. “But you weren’t there. I had pushed you away; and the nightmares kept coming and coming…”
Unable to stand it anymore, Scully drew close and pressed her body lightly, tentatively to his tense and unyielding backside. Felt his clammy skin warm automatically with that contact. He did not soften, at first. Did not edge away, nor did he lean into her. Much like that awful night when their office had burnt he simply stood cold with shock and while she supported him; the steadfast fidelity of their bond never questioned in the decade that they had been together.
“I was there,” she murmured into his shoulder. /I’ll always be here./ He could accept it now. She was finally able to press her arms about him in the night. Feel the strong bones beneath unblemished flesh; amazed that he was even alive for her to hold after an ordeal that had indeed taken him from her for so long that she had lost all hope. She shuddered and cinched her arms tighter; felt his ribs shift beneath the silky envelope of his skin. They creaked in protest, but he did not move, and she spoke like one driven. “I was there hurting for you, holding you against the nightmares, even when you couldn't ask me to be there. I was with you every night until you came back to me.”
Magnificent.
Thank you for reading~
Enjoy!
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my posts: x files season three
revelations
mulder/scully's faith
war of the coprophages
full episode
syzygy
full episode
quagmire
full episode take one
quagmire part one
quagmire part two
wetwired
full episode
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A friend posted this picture on Twitter and I couldn’t resist writing a little something. ❤️
They had to fly out to a San Diego for a conference.
“A thought,” Mulder said after William had been put to bed.
“What’s that?” Scully asked.
“What if we stretched the conference into a mini vacation? Your mom could fly out with William?”
“Yes,” she agreed with a smile.
Mulder’s conference ended sooner than hers, and he hurried back to the hotel to change and collect Maggie and William to go to the beach.
Scully had no thoughts of changing, only of seeing her boy enjoying the Pacific Ocean as she had done as a child when she met up with them.
Maggie took picture after picture of them, laughing as William squealed in delight and splashed in the waves, stood with his toes squishing into the wet sand, and toddled after the seagulls, all of them laughing when they took flight and he froze in surprise.
The last picture taken was of the back of them at the shore as Mulder held William in one arm and Scully’s hand with his other hand. Her blazer had long since been discarded and her pants were rolled up. The waves hit their feet and they smiled as they looked at one another.
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The X-Files
↳ Mulder + not gazing
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I love reading fan fics but the only site i known are AO3, The nursery Files, i love the content but there’s another site where i can read fics?
I love ur fics 🤍 in AO3
Glad you're enjoying fic reading so much 😊
You should check out Gossamer because it has plenty of fic. It hasn't been updated in many years, but you'll find many classics and amazing stories there.
Does anyone have any more links?
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OctoberFicFest 2023 Masterlist
1: Present
2: Eat
3: Divide
4: Autumn
5: Protect
6: Flood
7: Sleep
8: Breeze
9: Glint
10: Leaf
11: Sandwich
12: Tremble
13: Sheer
14: Settle
15: Hollow (tw: canon-typical discussions of death/post-mortem)
16: Orange
17: Self
18: Droop
19: Create
20: October
21: Explore (grown & sexy)
22: Arrive
23: Real
24: Perfect
25: Wrap
26: Grow
27: Threat (tw: canon-typical harassment)
28: Ship
29: Guard
30: Dazzle
31: Fright
Thanks to @artpromptcal for the prompts!
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OctoberFicFest 2023 Masterlist
1: Present
2: Eat
3: Divide
4: Autumn
5: Protect
6: Flood
7: Sleep
8: Breeze
9: Glint
10: Leaf
11: Sandwich
12: Tremble
13: Sheer
14: Settle
15: Hollow (tw: canon-typical discussions of death/post-mortem)
16: Orange
17: Self
18: Droop
19: Create
20: October
21: Explore (grown & sexy)
22: Arrive
23: Real
24: Perfect
25: Wrap
26: Grow
27: Threat (tw: canon-typical harassment)
28: Ship
29: Guard
30: Dazzle
31: Fright
Thanks to @artpromptcal for the prompts!
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Fictober 2023
All the stories in one place. A huge thank you to everyone for their support this month.
Day 1: Secret Spots - This is cotton candy-flavored fluff set after "Millennium": Mulder and Scully go to Mrs. Scully's house and find themselves all alone for a moment...
Day 2: Just in Case - This is angst/hurt/comfort with a dash of hopeful cheesiness. Starts off in Dod Kalm (yes, you read that right). Mulder decides to be brave in what he believes to be his last moments on earth.
Day 3: The Deepest Cut - Diana/IVF angst (with a soft ending): Scully is already upset about a colleague's pregnancy and then Diana shows up and makes things worse.
Day 4: Always Expect The Unexpected - Some soft, fluffy silliness today: Scully and Mulder see her mother out on a date with... A.D. Skinner?
Day 5: If I Were The King of The World - Fluffy-fluff set in Detour: We get to see a bit more of Scully singing to Mulder...
Day 6: In The Blink Of An Eye - Angst/Mulder in peril: Mulder happens to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time...
Day 7: Glimpses of October - Post-IWTB/Pre-Revival vignette: Mulder watches his son play in the fallen leaves. Or is he?
Day 8: A Very Queequeg Morning - Hurt/comfort AND humor after "Pusher": Mulder doesn't mind Scully showing up at his apartment after the case at all. Only problem: she's not alone.
Day 9: Talk Vanilla to Me - Rated M/banter/humor(?): Mulder can't sleep, but luckily, Scully is there to listen… and maybe more.
Day 10: Wishes - Fluff(?) post "Je Souhaite": Mulder wants to know what Scully's wishes would have been.
Day 11: Always Partners - Set in season 6, hurt/comfort, some angst: Kersh puts Scully on another case without Mulder and once again she gets hurt.
Day 12: The Easiest Choice - Fluff, rewrite of the last scene in "Existence": Mulder asks Scully what she's going to name the baby.
Day 13: Don't Forget The Cake - Fluff-ish, season 6: Diana throws Mulder a surprise birthday party. Chaos ensues.
Day 14: Preparation is Everything - Fluff, set after "Alone": With Mulder being unemployed, and Scully on maternity leave, they spend their time thinking about furniture, baby names, and all the ways their lives will change.
Day 15: Temporary Insanity - Angsty first kiss fill-in for "Paper Clip": What happened on that elevator ride?
Day 16: Mothers Always Know - Post-ep (sort of) for "Chimera", fluff: It's the Sunday morning after Mulder stayed over at Scully's and he has a somewhat awkward run-in with her mother.
Day 17: In Sickness And in Health - Hurt/comfort post-"Arcadia": They're on their way back home from The Falls at Arcadia when Scully gets sick.
Day 18: Beautiful In My Eyes - UST-filled post-ep fic: Mulder thinks Scully is the most beautiful person wherever she goes. She doesn't believe him so he tries to make her see it his way.
Day 19: It's Us Against The World - Angst, canon divergence for "Nothing Important Happened Today": No matter what Kersh said, Scully doesn't want Mulder to leave her and the baby. But what choice do they have?
Day 20: Shooting Stars - Mulder and Scully sharing a bed during two nights in The Rain King. After a first awkard night, what happens during the second one after the party ?
Day 21: No Longer Stuck In The Past - A different kind of post-episode fic for "The Unnatural": After his and Scully's baseball date, Mulder runs into Diana.
Day 22: Cookie Theft and Other Crimes - How the Ghosts Stole Christmas post-ep, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff - all the fixings: Bill Jr. runs into Mulder in the middle of the night and it goes as well as you might expect.
Day 23: You're Not Welcome Here - AU in which Diana didn't die and Mulder didn't leave after "Existence": Scully and William are waiting for Mulder when no other than Diana Fowley walks into the basement office.
Day 24: Rules Are Rules - Set in season 7, fluff: They're not supposed to share a room while on assignment. But aren't rules meant to be broken anyway?
Day 25: Another Banner Year - Set after "Our Town", before "Anasazi": Melissa shows up at her sister's apartment, demanding a few answers.
Day 26: I Saw Your Face In A Dream - AU where Mulder and Scully meet on karaoke night at a bar.
Day 27: Christmas With You By My Side - Sequel to day 22 "Cookie Theft And Other Crimes" but can be read as a stand-alone: What happens when Mulder wakes up with Scully in his arms?
Day 28: The Truth Is (Not) Found In A Glass of Whiskey - All Mulder wanted to do was drop off a report. Now he has to deal with a drunk Skinner.
Day 29: Glass Half Full - Sequel to "The Truth Is (Not) Found In A Glass of Whiskey": It's the morning after and Skinner wakes up with a hangover - and remembers way too much from the previous night.
Day 30: Feelings You Can't Hide - A post-ep for "Bad Blood" obviously. A jealous Mulder, an attempt at humor and the hint of angst may be found here.
Day 31: Trick or Treat - IVF arc, angsty fluff: They're supposed to go to the Gunmen's Halloween party, but there's something they need to make sure of first.
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randomfoggytiger's Fictober Wrap Up
My first Fictober has concluded; and I decided to throw together my entries, thoughts, and acknowledgements into one post for posterity.
*****
Fictober Fics
"The Dead Are Everywhere, Scully"
Mulder and Scully reunite in the afterlife, two skeletons dancing in the rain and the mud.
"Regardless of His Actions Last Night"
Queequeg, alive and savage, joins Scully on her Chinga vacation.
"As Agent Mulder Says, There Are Many Different Kinds of Vampires" Part I
Mulder and Scully are attacked and turned into vampires by Ronnie Strickland. Scully's crisis begins when her faith seemingly rejects her.
"Time Passing in Moments"
Post Fight the Future Scully brings Halloween to Mulder, determined to give him a break while they wait and wait and wait for OPR.
"As Agent Mulder Says, There Are Many Different Kinds of Vampires" Part II
Mulder encourages Scully not to give up on her faith, both of them choosing to face potential death by holy fireball rather than letting her live in fearful limbo.
"There's Something Up There Mulder"
Scully realizes that Tooms is likely a distant relation of the Gender Bender Brethren (Amish hats are mentioned.)
"I Wonder If You Think It's Safe Enough to Indulge Yourself"
Metaphorical similarities between Mulder's supposed red-green colorblindness (which he does not have) and red-hot Phoebe Green.
"How Much You're Like Ahab"-- Mulder parallels his and Scully's crime scene eating habits to those of their cannibalistic pets.
"The Truth Is Out There-- But So Are Lies"-- Scully ruminates on her partner's ease with lying; and her ability to save him from Them and himself.
"Something Approaching a Normal Life"-- Mulder realizes Scully had invited him to (a disastrous) Thanksgiving to distract himself from the anniversary of his sister's abduction. He plans to return the favor.
"Preying on the Weak and Vainglorious"-- Post Sanguinarium Mulder ruminates on bad luck and bad ends; and Scully insists he's beautiful.
"Kids Today, Huh?"-- 2023 Mulder sinks into a slump after listening to a mopey song all day. Scully reasons him out of it.
"Is Being Made a Fool Of a Crime, Agent Mulder?"-- Mulder and Scully celebrate life, the dead, and all the Roadrunners and Wile E. Coyotes of the world. (My "happy birthday in a way, Mulder" fic.)
"We Need to Get Help"-- Mulder contemplates the glaring similarities between Gender Bender and Never Again and the new differences in his partner.
"We'll Think of Something"-- The Unnatural Scully grumbles over Mulder's tendency to run off into trouble. She goes, anyway.
"End of the Road"-- Mulder's peace after Closure.
"He Had Parents Who Loved Him"-- The Mulder family and baseball.
"I Think She Was Just Trying To Get Away"-- Scully reminisces on Mulder's distance and need for distraction post Monday.
"You Don't Know the First Thing About Me"-- Krycek has fixed opinions about the Syndicate, Mulder, Marita, and morals.
"My Religious Convictions Are Hardly the Issue Here"-- Scully and Mulder try to tackle her fears post All Souls.
"I'm Tired"-- Scully draws parallels between her Tithonus experience and Mulder's Sleepless and Demons one.
"Life’s Just a Path”-- If Melissa were alive post Fight the Future and Millennium, she'd never let her sister live it down.
"I Think He’s a Hard Kid to Love”-- Post Schizogeny Scully is sent on a case with Mulder to unofficially help Skinner's friends, one of which is a bear. (Prompts and artwork contributed by my two sisters.)
"Mulder Will Be Back”-- Jeffrey Spender sneers at Mulder's "hubris."
"Easy for You to Say”-- Post First Person Shooter Mulder is enamored with his little battle girlfriend.
"No More Paranormal than a Change of Wardrobe”-- Freshly-dating Mulder and Scully's lifestyles don't quite match yet; but the effort is worth it.
"What Must a Mother Go Through”-- Post Emily Mulder reasons Scully out of her Mrs. Peacock comparisons.
"Watch Over You Wherever You Go”-- One Breath Maggie remembers the many reinterpretations of her daughter's necklace.
"Your Ideas Are Weirder than Ours”-- The Lone Gunmen are woken by two very grumpy-with-each-other special agents.
"Doesn’t Make Him Less of a Miracle”-- AU Mulder tries to fight colonization and wrangle his "sea monster" child at the local ball pit.
"Sooner or Later a Man’s Gotta Face His Demons”-- Post Amor Fati Scully prods Mulder on a stakeout about his lack of Samhain hunting.
*****
My Thoughts
It's been a few years since I've committed to a daily creative project, but like this month flew by. It was a joy to prove myself, in a way; and an even greater privilege to take other people's prompts and turn them into stories. I'm proud of the work I put in, proud of how they turned out, and proud that they entertained anyone who read them.
I did discover a personal writing flaw: grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Which, given that I write and "edit" everything in under an hour and that my brain autocorrects and rewrites while I'm actively writing, is understandable. There are multiple reblogged versions of my finalized fics because I would spot an error and edit after publication but not before the readers hit. And that's okay! (When my Ao3 submission goes through, I'll upload each fic "in its final form", so no sweat there.)
*****
Trivia
Each fic was named with a quote from The X-Files, mostly from Mulder and Scully but also by various side characters (Phoebe Green, Krycek, and Maggie, namely.)
I tackled Scully's religion a lot this month as a way to work out my frustrations with her episodes: her belief in the series has always been chocked up as "yes man" syndrome; and I believe it did a disservice to Scully, multi-layered character that she is. I hope it did her a little more justice.
In a way, I dedicate "The Dead Are Everywhere, Scully" to @enigmaticdrblockhead-- whose writing not only influenced that piece but also sticks with me to this day-- and @perpetually-weirdening-- whose interest in an immortal Scully breathed life into this idea.
In a way, I dedicate "The Truth is out There, But So Are Lies" to @suitablyaggrieved: the discussion we had (concerning Mulder's ability to lie quite well) rattled around in my head until I put it down "on paper."
In a way, I dedicate "Something Approaching a Normal Life" to Baroness Blixen, who is the master of weaving angst and fluff into her holiday fics.
In a way, I dedicate "I Wonder If You Think It's Safe Enough to Indulge Yourself" to @settle-down-frohike because it reads more meta than fic (while also reading as fic.)
In a way, I dedicate "He Had Parents Who Loved Him" to @television-overload, whose baseball fic inspired by Field of Dreams still takes up space in my noggin.
And I think that's all my thoughts for now~.
*****
Acknowledgements and Thanks
@baronessblixen for encouraging me to write this month-- another boost on the long list of encouragements you've given me~.
@agent-troi and @welsharcher (my Fox Mulder Singleton Club members) for their generous prompts. Truly touched by both of you: your loooooooong list, agent-troi; and your vibey suggestions, welsharcher.
@wexleresque for your vampire prompt-- that was a fun fic challenge-- and your "looking up at the sky" prompt-- which challenged me to tackle older years Mulder and Scully.
@stephy-gold for her Nessa Barrett song prompt (which I plugged into older years Mulder and Scully)-- I learned something new and tackled a genre that is not my favorite (songfic.)
@tossingmyglossymane for the post Monday prompt, which was more challenging to write than expected (and turned out great.)
@xxsksxxx for the prompt about Scully's cross necklace-- that was an initial struggle to nail down until I tied it back to Maggie, then it flowed~.
Anon for the prompt wanting Mulder to mull over Scully's words in Gender Bender (which tied, I thought, perfectly into his confusion in Never Again.)
And thank you to my sisters for the fall prompts that lead to Bernie the Bear (and another thank you to my younger sister who let me include her doodle for that day's Fictober entry.)
And thank you to everyone who engaged, liked, reblogged, and anything else! (I always like to dip in and out of the Notes section to see how each person responded differently to each fic-- an bonus game: makes guesses and see if they're correct.) There are too many to count, so I'll just include a few off the top of my head: @dd-is-my-guiltypleasure, @amplifyme, @pianogirlxf, @scullys-scalpel, @teenie-xf, @agertiegirl, @improlificinsarcasm, @borogirl, @tofuttim, @mysteryness, @rosedyl, @spidey-is-tired, and others~!
*****
Thank you for reading~
Enjoy!
Tagging @today-in-fic and @xffictober2023 and @fictober-event
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Never Again: An Intensive Essay
This post is its own project, as I felt it necessary to approach 'Never Again' with a lens divorced from my Personality Type post (found here-- more in depth and with play-by-play screenshots.)
Without further ado, here we go~
Loss of Control-- the Cause, or the Symptom?
‘Never Again’ is, on its surface, about three people losing control over their lives-- Ed Jerse has lost his family in divorce, Scully has lost herself to the quest, and Mulder is losing Scully as she questions the decisions in her life. But the truth lies one layer deeper-- why DID they lose control of their lives? What was the mechanism? And that is the episode's true, nefarious 'villain': fear.
Fear, the Disrupting Mechanism
Scully contemplates many things this episode: a rose petal left on a grave, Mulder’s nameplate on his desk, endless lines, and her life. She has given her natural loyalty and tireless devotion to a cause that could save real lives and fulfill her by the same token. The true reason for her devotion, however, was not to the cause, but to its seeker: Mulder. Every loss she has suffered, every small victory she gained, and every fear she faced was at his side and with his strength. It is not the journey that is the never-ending line, because she always gets roped back in when Mulder asks her to (this episode, Elegy, The Ghosts That Stole Christmas, Dreamland I and II, etc.) It is her relationship; particularly, that she has chosen Mulder and his quest above all things-- the respect of her peers, a life, her family, even her fertility-- but that he hasn't chosen her the same way.
In The Jersey Devil, Scully stated to her friend Ellen: “He’s a jerk. ...He's not a jerk. He’s obsessed with his work.” Since then, Mulder and she have grown undoubtedly closer-- their reassignment, her abduction, her coma and recovery, Donnie Pfaster, his father’s death, her sister’s death, his mother's stroke, and many other experiences-- and Scully has aided and abetted willingly all his schemes, teasing and flirting each step of the way. In Home, Mulder set himself up as a candidate for her Uberscullies, and even leaned into her inquiry. There was fertile ground for a more nuanced discussion of their relationship after the Peacock horrors unfolded, with a more somber Mulder and vindicated Scully.
But then The Field Where I Died happened. Scully’s unrivaled closeness to Mulder was shaken by his attachment and grief over the loss of his professed ‘soul mate.’ Equilibrium was restored by the time Mulder paid a visit to Russia, Scully was incarcerated for contempt of court, and John Lee Roche was shot in his undeserving head; but the doubt remained. Scully's priority has always been Mulder; but she's afraid he doesn't return that devotion.
Missed Signals
Scully gazes at the rose petal on the grave because it is a physical marker of the love someone has for the deceased, conquering even death. She takes it with her, simultaneously contemplating it and the nameplate on Mulder’s desk. The realization that there is no marker of her presence in Mulder’s life leads her to question her life, this quest, her loyalty-- but not to realize, quite yet, what the true root of the problem is. That realization is after her skirmish with Jerse.
Mulder is whirring around the office in preparation for his forced vacation; but is pulled up short when Scully asks him why she doesn’t have a desk. He makes a flippant but sincere remark before redirecting her to a case to do in his absence. Scully debunks its importance, unspooling the informant’s story good-naturedly and trying to avoid her brewing emotions... until Mulder uses that ‘assignment’ word again. Scully balks at this, flinging out a remark not dissimilar to her “macho man” accusation in Syzygy.
Offended, Mulder steams that his files mean everything to him, stating: “You were just assigned here.” This affirms Scully's seed of doubt: that she was assigned and appreciated only for her value to the work (it's not until Fight the Future that this is resolved) and not for something more.
“And it’s become mine.”
Mulder screeches to a halt, his bravado and irritation disintegrating into a puff of smoke-- "You don't want it to be?"-- so suddenly and shakily that Scully tries to soften the blow, too late. Mulder’s face crumples-- physically folding in on himself-- blindsided and fearful of what she'll say next.
Scully tries to explain that she feels like she's lost herself while everyone else has moved on: “...while my own life is… standing still.” She gives a tight, false huff of laughter (an outward sign of the raging, internal panic) because she doesn't know what's wrong. Scully believes she knows it’s being trapped by “the endless line”; but if that were the case, she wouldn’t stick with it for as long as she has or continues to do during 'Never Again' and the rest of her time with the FBI. The lesson she learns is that the never-ending line isn't the quest: it's her relationship with Mulder.
Mulder is a man driven by his passion for solving the endless puzzles laid out to lead him to and away from the Truth. He is also a man that has a miniscule support system, and no one else on the planet to understand him. Scully in one fell swoop sweeps his feet from under him, causing him to panic and search for the quickest solution he can find. He deduces incorrectly that maybe he’d gotten under her skin too much lately; and excuses himself from the room and her life as quickly as possible. To Scully, this is the final nail in the coffin of what she assumes is her worth in Mulder's life.
Escaping Confusion in the Arms of the Confused
Scully tries to escape from these feelings by pouring herself into the assignment. She believes her struggle is with the work, and doggedly pursues it to try to rediscover her drive for it. This leads her to Ed Jerse; and her interest is peaked when he makes obvious flirtatious overtures and invites her to dinner. She leaves the interaction feeling better without realizing it's because someone expressed interest in her rather than a job well done.
And then Mulder calls. She is genuinely happy he tracked her down; but the interactions spirals when Mulder refocuses his attentiveness to her case. When he expresses surprise and disapproval in how she wrapped it up (accidentally coming across as chastising when he was just confused and needed a reason), Scully becomes offended. Her anguished feeling has returned; but the satisfaction doubles back when Mulder jealously pokes at her having a date. She hangs up, leaving him to stew.
From here on out, Scully is pursuing that satisfying feeling. Her actions are guarded but curious as she is slowly coaxed to Ed's apartment, then to the crummy bar, then to the tattoo parlor, and finally back to Ed's apartment again. With Jerse, she believes she is finding happiness through breaking the "authority" Mulder has on her life; but what she has done is simply replace him with Ed, centering her face on Ed's reactions at each of her revelations and new experiences. Her date, meanwhile, is feeding both of their self-delusions by giving Scully too much overeager attention and sponging off the bit she gives in return.
The tattoo: Scully gets an ouroboros for obvious reasons laid out in the episode. But she gets it placed directly on her lower back where Mulder rudders and steadies her. This was intentional on her part; but it now serves two mortifying purposes: a continual reminder of her big mistake, and a reminder that she didn't know herself at all.
It's not until Ed Jerse self-destructs that Scully can see clearly her actions for the first time, and why she did them, and why they are different than Ed's. Jerse's fear of women-- how his wife destroyed his life, how Betty 'continues' to destroy it-- tore apart his mind long before the tattoo could or did. And Scully realizes the solution she had sought from him were the things she wanted from Mulder but believed she would never have: a crummy bar with Ed, a tattoo with Ed, a night with Ed. That is why, when the dust has settled and she is back to the office, that Scully is at more of a loss than she had started... because, while she could get a life, she wants Mulder to be a part of it (poking at his lack of one since The Jersey Devil; and continuing to hint about the possibilities from Home onward.)
The Basement Redux
Scully's depressed and teary spirits are quickly shoved aside when Mulder arrives. She refuses to engage; and his rambling gets worse and worse as he realizes the canyon has widened. His attempts at humor-- "You look a lot better than you did in the hospital", "And congratulations for making a personal appearance in the X-Files for the second time”-- fall flat, and his anguish is visible when he turns to deliver "It's a world record." (See this post for play by play.)
He bridges the gap while reading Ed Jerse's medical diagnosis; giving Scully time to march to her chair. But in the middle of his “better late than never, huh?” he abruptly stops when she reaches for the dried up rose petal. Launching from the chair, Mulder stretches, tenses, rolls his head, and hunches up his shoulder in another mad quest through his files for a last-minute distraction. He is finally forced to admit defeat: “All this because… because I didn’t get you a desk?”
Scully is shocked he actually asked; and her face softens at his vulnerable voice and confused, hurt expression. She explains in Mulder-speak: “Not everything is about you, Mulder. This is my life.”
The great misunderstanding of Scully: she is NOT drawing a circle around herself, enforcing boundaries that Mulder can never cross, cutting him out and keeping him from ruining her perfect, private world. What she wants, what she needs, is for him to acknowledge that her loyalty and steadfastness and courage and faithfulness is reciprocated-- beyond the quest, beyond the Truth. That "that unspoken" she feels is felt by him, too.
She gets her acknowledgment; but there is no comfort in it.
Mulder’s unspoken “Yes, but it’s become mine” dies on his lips as Scully’s meaning dawns on him.
Mulder freezes as he realizes two things at once: Firstly, that Scully wants them to stop circling the drain of their relationship. What she had been seeking in Jerse wasn't rejection of him; it was him. But secondly-- he realizes that he can’t take that next step. He at least tries to repeat his confession-- sucking air in, moving his lips-- but can't get the words out.
Scully cocks her head, queuing him to continue, wanting him to continue. But when Mulder's second attempt fails, and his mouth permanently closes, Scully realizes her two things: Mulder understands her message; and reciprocates but can't return it. At least not yet. Her gaze falls once again, her hopes crushed. For all that she has "gained", Scully is still on that endless line, looping around and around in perpetuity.
To sum this disaster up:
Scully is daily motivated by the journey. Her sense of worth to the world is why she left medicine for the FBI; and every day she makes a fulfilling difference. The never-ending line that she is trapped in befuddles her at first, wondering if she's lost herself and her motivations because of a discontent she is deeply feeling. When Mulder walks out on her, Scully misreads his intentions as abandoning her to his bidding; and resentment begins to build. Work was what fulfilled her before, so she tries to do it again; and, by solving the case Mulder "assigned" her, she runs into Jerse and his crumbling issues. Ed's problems seem to mirror hers, and she is interested and hopeful enough to try his solutions. They fall apart; Ed falls apart; and Scully's thoughts of herself and her motivations fall apart with them. She realizes what she truly needed was Mulder, and that Mulder cannot give her what she wants.
Is Leonard Betts or Memento Mori Next?
Setting aside Morgan, Wong, and Gillian's insistence that Never Again took place before Leonard Betts and unattached to the cancer arc, let's analyze Scully's actions to deduce a timeline.
It is appealing to place Never Again after Leonard Betts because of Scully's contemplative, dour mood after taking the flower from the gravestone. However: if Never Again were simply a joy ride to express that she'd thrown caution to the wind to LIVE, then it would prove she'd already given up. Then the message Memento Mori would have been useless; because that is when she grapples with her mortality and hopelessness and rises above it; but not before denying there's a problem and refusing to admit she's dying FIRST. Scully cannot both recklessly give up in one episode and be horrified that she is slowly dying the next. (Not to mention her real, fearful concern over the ergot poisoning she and Ed could be suffering from.)
Finally, if this episode were about Scully's reckless abandon because of her cancer (and not about her own fears and priorities), then she wouldn't have needed to be coaxed by Ed each step of the way-- her motel, his apartment, the crummy bar, the tattoo parlor, and back to his apartment. She would have simply given up and jumped on each new opportunity handed her way.
But does it make sense to place it before Leonard Betts?
Yes-- it's the perfect case to pull Scully from her doldrums. Most of the episode is brimming with medical jargon and theories; and Mulder relies heavily on her expertise to jump from one conclusion to the next while teasing her lightheartedly and listening, proving her value. Not only that, but he's just as flummoxed as herself throughout most of the episode, which gives her ample time to show off here and there. Scully feels valuable again-- which makes the ending even more tragic. She knows Mulder loves her but can't reciprocate, laying to rest the fear of The Field Where I Died; but now she is afraid of terminal cancer in lieu of her MUFON sisters. Knowing Mulder and his reliance on her in ways that he can rely on no one else could be ripped away (and her own life with it) is a gut punch of epic proportions.
Thanks for reading!
Enjoy!
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