how do you get back into not despising your instrument again? my solo's on the third (yikes) and whenever I practice it, I don't want to. it takes all of my willpower to even play it and whenever I make a mistake I just want to throw my flute down on the ground and give it up.

the long term answer would be that you can’t force yourself to, and that you need to regrow a love for it by fostering an enjoyment of your instrument and even music itself again

but, given that your solo is so soon… sometimes you just have to do things you don’t want to. i’m bad at articulating this concept (and it’s so much easier said than done) but it’s key to a lot of things in life, especially studying and practicing. and frankly, if you can master the art of “ignoring the overwhelming feelings of emotion, defeat, and hatred in order to do something” you can master the world

and the good news is you’re halfway there, at least in this instance! half the fuckin battle is mastering up all the willpower you have to do it anyway. the next thing you need to work on is just fighting past the bad feelings when you make a mistake and playing anyway. in that instance it helps to remember that you won’t make the mistake again if you fix it, and that can only happen by pressing on

but that’s only a short term fix. if after this school year you haven’t begun to enjoy the flute again, then it’s okay to quit. there’s no point in keeping up with something that just brings you a bunch of pain anyway. for now, though, it sounds like you gotta get through this, so push through basically

(another Long Term Thing would be pinpointing why you began despising the flute in the first place and working to undo that and eventually get back to where you were before, but that can be almost impossible to do, so idk)

@advicejesus any other hot tips

I have an internet friend and I absolutely adore her. The thing is her anxiety is getting really bad,,, How would you suggest I help her?

Support them, really.Here's a professionals take: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201607/how-help-someone-anxietyGood luck!

Ah, so I ended up chickening out about asking him on a date for various reasons that I won't get into. So I wrote him a letter confessing my feelings (you probably never would have recommended that, but yikes it's too late now) and he's real-life ghosting me so fuck him. He hasn't brought up the letter and he probably actually has a girlfriend now, so I guess that's my own stupid fault. But, anyway, you had asked for an update, so here's that.

Sorry if this has been sitting here a while, I don't check this inbox as often as I should!Writing a letter is fine, it's basically the same as a texted confession, just with more class. And yeah, fuck him, ghosting online is rude, ghosting in person is outright jackassery. I would definitely advise just abandoning him altogether, he's not worth your time.

pro tip kiddos

take the time now and become so fucking good. practice; constantly, everything. learn everything you can. get upperclassmen, staff, anyone you can, to teach you. learn from your own mistakes, learn from the mistakes of people around you. learn from every source you have at your disposal. get creative. play easy songs you enjoy, because they will motivate you to practice. practice hard exercises that make you want to give up, because they will make you better. take the years you have now and become the best you can be, because regardless of what situation high school lands you in, you will be so good your chances at become better will soar. your peers will look up to you, because you have so much to teach and share. your superiors and staff will look up to you, because you have developed habits and skill and that are invaluable and have so much to give. you will have so many doors open to you, because you took the time to open them before you knew they existed. and finally brother, you will have learned, before your time, the most important lesson of all; what it truly means to be a musician, and that there is still so much more room to grow

to @recorder-jesus, on looking forward to moving up a level

Yo flute jesus. Please help me. I got an audition coming soon(audition video). I have these 9 difficult excerpts to nail before October 20. (Because 20th is the deadline for audition videos) Honestly I don't even know how or why I got invited to audition bec of my resume 😂😅 but yeah. Any advice? I'm kinda having a hard time with Carnival of the Animals(Voliere) and Ravel's Daphnis and Chloe, Suite no.2. 😅

My dude good fucking luck. Here are ten tips I use for myself:1) listen the hell out of this piece. Really listen. You should be able to memorize how your part goes just by listening to it. I'm talking at least a dozen times2) take it part by part. Slow practice is good practice. It is more important to have the next three things I mention then to be able to play it fast. Practice a couple troublesome bars a day, and don't move on till you have them down3) focus on tone, tuning, and articulation. I've asked, and having emotion and passion in your piece makes a few wrong notes excusable4) to perfect your rhythm, play with a metronome going hella slow. Once you have it perfect, go ten clicks up, perfect it, go five down, perfect, ten up, perfect, five down, etc etc until you can go twenty above the written tempo. This will take time5) record yourself playing. This is something literally no one ever wants to do, but if you do anything, do this. You will catch more mistakes this way, and sound way better than you ever could without.6) GET. ONE. ON. ONE. HELP. WITH. ANOTHER. MUSICIAN. REGARDLESS. OF. THEIR. OWN. SKILL. OR. INSTRUMENT.7) fucking pray manThere's more, obviously, but that's all for now from me. Feel free to ask some more specific things if you need to, and tell me how you do! Good luck!

Heya so Iam super desperate for some advice on my crush? He's super super beautiful and I don't know him at all really but I want to get to know him. He's in a different class but the same school but unfortunately nobody I know knows him. I know he's in a uni course and he has stretchers and tattoos but I don't know how to strike up an interesting conversation yaknow? Thanks in advance and sorry if it's bad timing I'm not used to these things:)

It's all goodFirst, I'd try to find some similarities, anything really. I recently did a huge post on conversation starters, you can use some of those to help out.Once you have that commonality down, try befriending his friends. Don't be weird and creepy, and actually make a genuine effort to befriend these people. I.e., don't talk about him to them. If his friends like you, he will too (though not necessarily romantically)If you're still sure you like him after getting to know him, ask him out. Remember, most romantic relationships start out the same way as platonic ones. Befriend him before you romance him.Good luck, hmu with how it goes!

Hi there fellow fluter~ I have a crush on someone who plays the french horn??? but I barely know him and I just don't know how to even talk to him without being extremely awkward (not to mention I always look away every time I see him). How do I stop being such a social wreck lol??? (Also he's a junior and I'm just a freshman) (we're both in college btw)

I would like to prescribe three things:1) a wingman. It's a lot less awkward when you have a mutual friend to introduce you guys, and to conveniently pull you away should things go South. Also, they can get the down low on him so you don't have to stalk your crush manually2) a conversation starter. Remember, start of with small remarks, get a read on his personality and work your way up. Start with "hi", "how are you?", "can I borrow a pencil?", and "what do you think of this piece?". Work your way up.*3) confidence! You have to balance being polite and kind with being assertive and honest, which is hard. Just do your best, go with your gut, don't overstep boundaries (not hard), and be friendly! *some suggestions, in no order. Remember, conversation should flow, not follow a formula. These are just to get you started:"How long have you been playing?""Are you majoring in (your major) too, or something else?""I'm new, do you have any suggestions for places to eat or go to relax?""Man, (mutually known musician) is really good! Do you know them?""What other classes are you taking?""I know we play different instruments, but could you help me out with this one part?""I wish we could play more of (his favorite composer, or yours, depending on how much creeping yall do)""I don't have many friends here yet. Would you mind introducing me to some people?" "Quick, birds or reptiles.""Did you see the game last night?" (This one requires actually having knowledge of a game)"Man, what a rehearsal. This week has been rough. You wanna go get coffee to relax it off?"And as always, ask questions you are prepared to know the answer to.Good luck!

So, I'm in the market for some life advice (I guess). Anyway, I play flute also, and I've known this guy for years and he's been my stand partner for years. We have a unique friendship, and I have a crush on him. But he's a senior this year, so I have until June to confess how I feel (or to not do that because yikes that's embarrassing and friendship ruining). He might be in a relationship with this other girl, or he just doesn't like me in that way AT ALL. But, advice jesus, what do you think?

DO IT

Here’s why:

1) he’s graduating anyways. Literally what do you have to loose if he says no? A semi awkward month is nothing compared to the growth you two can accomplish if you come out to him2) IF HE SAYS YES YOU GUYS CAN BE A GREAT COUPLE AND GIVE HIM THE BEST SENIOR YEAR EVER???3) not enough kids realize that high school is a time for major experimentation. Now is the time to start taking risks and putting yourself out there4) nothing saying you guys can’t still be friends?5) he might like you too! People are weird about hiding their feelings. As long as you are open and honest and kind with how you feel, he should be the same

Here’s how:

6) do some small espionage. Send a mutual to casually inquire of his interests7) or you know ask him yourself. Open communication is key in any relationship8) ask him on a classic date (movie/dinner) and make sure he knows exactly what’s going on. Near the end of the night, confess. Best case scenario, you’re now a couple. Worst, you’re both leaving anyways, this time as friends who know exactly how they both stand.9) don’t involve other people you don’t need to and don’t make a scene. If he’s uncomfortable, he’ll reject the whole thing on principle10) ALWAYS BE OPEN AND CLEAR. RESPECT EVERY PARTY. BE YOURSELF, AND HAVE FUN

good luck! Hmu with how it goes!

I can redirect you

Since its coming up again I do run an advice blog @advicejesus if anyone wants thoughts, some low key therapy, or a hug

Some more marching band advice as we start getting into the colder months. 

Today is Friday, September 8th 2017. Most people don’t typically think of September as a cold month - I mean, we’re still technically in summer until September 22.  Most people aren’t out on the field at seven in the morning, so don’t listen to them.

September is that weird month where it’s sweater weather in the morning and tank top weather in the afternoon. Factor in the fact that it’s always colder before the sun goes up and we have midwinter temperatures in mid September. 

Wednesday I wore what I normally wear - a sweater, jeans, and a t-shirt. Walking from the car to the door, which took maybe fifteen, twenty seconds - I was shivering. Just from that I was starting to regret all of my life choices thinking about spending an hour on the field in nothing but my sweater. I was right, by the way. Luckily drill was pretty intense that day, and I had to practically run across the school to get to my class so by the time I was in my first hour class I wasn’t freezing, but it still kind of hurt to hold on to my flute. 

Thursday I took my coat, but I hadn’t been able to find my gloves. Most of me was warm, but it was physically painful to hold my flute. You know the kind of cold that kind of feels like it’s stabbing you? Yeah that’s what I was getting from my flute. I had it out about half an hour later in my first hour class and it was still pretty cold. 

Today I had both my coat and my gloves. We didn’t even have our instruments out much, but it was still pretty useful. (Gloves were my hands’ savior last year too). 

Lots of rambling, now I’m actually going to give you advice. 

Get a coat that’s warm and that you can march in. Do some twists, make sure it’s not going to impede your traversing or any body movements you’re doing. I stopped using my mom’s bulky coat for this reason and switched to a smaller but equally warm coat for this reason. 

Remember how I said it was physically painful to hold on to my flute? Yeah. Metal does this thing where it amplifies whatever temperature it’s in (Totally unscientific phrasing). Even if it doesn’t feel too cold out, your metal instrument will be freezing. I once took the word of one of the juniors who said it wouldn’t be too cold out so I wouldn’t need gloves. They were mostly right. My hands disagreed though.  Get gloves that are pretty small. Remember you still have to play. It’s going to be a bit harder to play with gloves on, but at least you won’t get frostbite. 

Waterproof shoes! Marching shoes are pretty good for this purpose, but if you don’t have those or if you can’t get yours on a regular basis for rehearsal, then there’s probably other options. These are especially great if you live somewhere like Colorado where we occasionally get snow in October. 

Once you learn the whole show and get to the point where you’re ending rehearsal with full runthroughs of your show, it’s not going to feel cold about halfway through. Marching band is still a physically strenuous activity. By the end it’ll feel a bit like you’ve been running. Just, keep this in mind. 

That’s all I have to say on this matter. Feel free to add if any of you have any other suggestions. 

Heya! If you're not too busy, maybe some advice on low notes? (Preferably for flute but it doesn't matter!)

Sure!For flute: ya gotta loosen up my buddyo. The same way you had to narrow your airstream and bring it up to go high, you have to widen it and point it down to go low. Still lots of air too. In general: drop your jaw. Loosen your embouchure. Think low, focus on your air support.HOW TO PRACTICE THIS: start on your lowest comfortable note. Play down three doing easy quarter notes. Hold that last one as long as you can maintain good tone. Rest. Repeat until you can do this easily. Now start one note lower than you originally did. Do the same steps. If there's someone more experienced in your life you can ask help of, definitely do that.Feel free to ask if you have any more problems! Cheers!

My band director asked our 7th/8th grade concert band to come up with a slogan. Any Suggestions?

Go Band?

cheers

cheers

Practice, do your best, don't be irritating, know your place, respect everyone, take responsibility for you and your actions. That's all you really can do

How to get my section leader proud instead of "I'm not mad just disapointed"

idk man im a constant disappointment@advicejesus ?

pro tip kiddos

take the time now and become so fucking good. practice; constantly, everything. learn everything you can. get upperclassmen, staff, anyone you can, to teach you. learn from your own mistakes, learn from the mistakes of people around you. learn from every source you have at your disposal. get creative. play easy songs you enjoy, because they will motivate you to practice. practice hard exercises that make you want to give up, because they will make you better. take the years you have now and become the best you can be, because regardless of what situation high school lands you in, you will be so good your chances at become better will soar. your peers will look up to you, because you have so much to teach and share. your superiors and staff will look up to you, because you have developed habits and skill and that are invaluable and have so much to give. you will have so many doors open to you, because you took the time to open them before you knew they existed. and finally brother, you will have learned, before your time, the most important lesson of all; what it truly means to be a musician, and that there is still so much more room to grow

to @recorder-jesus, on looking forward to moving up a level

My parents don't understand that I need to take a mental break from practicing I've been pushing myself nonstop for the past two years and it's been hard and I've improved so much but I need a few days where I can put my damn clarinet down outside of band and they just won't let me so how can I get my much needed break?

My first instinctual response is to lie and say you have/are practicing. This is what I do and it 100% effective. However I don't know your home life so this may not be the best course for you.Secondly, I would say book yourself to the point where they won't have time to make you. Plan a few days of fun after school activities with friends or just a few hours of relaxation in the park. Get away from practice and parents: its a win win!My final, a probably best advice, is to go to them straight up and say, "look. I have practiced to the point where I am fucking amazing. Everyone is proud of me. But now I am exhausted and I need a break. This is not a quit, just a temporary time out to rejuvenate so I can be even better in the long run. Thank you for understanding." You know your parent better than any of us, and if you pitch it to them right they should listen to you and give you a break. However, if they don't, the other two options are still available, though depending on how the honesty option went, they may be more or less valid and you may need to come up with something else.Good luck!

yooooo im a junior in hs band (flute). there's this freshman (he plays trombone) who has been looking at me odd the past two days of camp. he usually sits with me and my friends for lunch breaks. hes nice enough and laughs at my jokes. as a girl idrk what's going on? idk if it's cause he's new and I'm not or w/e, but I'm nervous about confronting him about the whole staring/following me around thing. you've been giving relationship advice a lot lately and I was wondering of you can help. thanks!

Young guys are the worst. As a former young boy, I apologize and offer all my condolences for how we’ve been brought up to act.

He is very new, and is probably very lost and not comfortable with the new environment. I believe he probably saw a pretty face and went “! Pretty girl! Whoa!” He likely subconsciously wants you to help him acclimate to camp and band, but he desperately wants a friend, and I think he saw you first and hopes you’ll take him in and help him and be his friend.

I didn’t know about my camp my freshman year, but most people did and most people knew pretty much everyone. So on the first day, I knew nobody and everybody else already knew everybody, and so, since band was 5th period, I went up to the other kids who I had seen in my 1st-4th periods and tried to hang out with them.

It helps that you didn’t outright reject him the first two days, so he definitely sees you as sort of a safe protective person. Since he is “nice enough,” he’s better than a lot of boys. I wouldn’t ditch him, I wouldn’t crush him by rejecting his hopes to join you, and I wouldn’t do any yelling or anything. However, if tries to make advances or anything physical or if he becomes rude, unleash in no in-explicit terms terms how you feel about what he’s doing.

In the meantime, if it makes you uncomfortable or if he bothers you, take him aside and break it gently to him what his actions are making you feel. Try to offer a place in your group if your friends are alright with him as well, so long as he stops the staring and following, or at least establish that he can come to you for help or anything, but that you would appreciate it if he would stop doing those two upsetting activities.

You should probably stage the confrontation sooner rather than later, so that he doesn’t form a strong attachment to you (we boys build those f a s t. it’s the one thing we’re really good at.), but be open and I cannot stress enough to be g e n t l e! We boys are also very weak and unsure of ourselves (despite outer appearances), and I don’t want another boy to be as untrusting and unconfident and insecure as I am. If you foster kindness, hopefully he will learn and be kind as well.