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Well everyone! My new blog has been set-up!
This url (Birdpaw) will be free from now on! <3
Enjoy whoever the new Birdpaw is! <33
Au revoir!
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No but in all seriousness, memes aside, much love to all my friends in the UK right now. I know shit's about to be chaotic and nationalistic and shitty, and I hope the media circus ends as quickly as possible.
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i wish Christopher Eccleston a very pleasant day
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been having a rough time lately but the queen dying will fix me
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There's a heron outside,
in violet light
There's an urge to go,
a shadow,
a heightened air of peril
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I'm starting a new blog. Please forgive me. My situation has so quickly fallen apart. They're beyond sick. I can't escape. Please, get them away from me. I wish a doctor could help me. This is so sick.
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Why do you reblog posts and add lengthy/personal tags to them, especially if they're not related? (Asking genuinely, I do not mean any offense)
None taken, I'd be happy to explain!
This blog started out as a re-make of my older blog that I had had for a few years, and was forced to delete. That original blog was strictly vent text posts, but I found the format to be very hard to work with. (It's not as stream-lined to type out a whole bunch of text as opposed to tags which are broken up.)
And eventually, I figured out that just venting in the tags of whatever I reblogged was both more cathartic, and easier for me to work with when jotting down my thoughts. To my shame however I hadn't even thought of the obvious solution until now that I could just create a text post, put " . " as the contents of the post, and type in the tags.
I should probably start doing that now. I always feel worried that OP will see my tags, and feel negatively some way or other about it. (That is why most, if not all of my reblog posts are from popular users and not unknown artists who wouldn't have such a low volume of notes that they'd actually go out of their way to check what I had written.)
As to the contents of my tags, it's easiest if I explain my recent condition as cumulative. It's not as simple as merely stating that I've been under duress for a number of months now due to a case of a sudden split in my personality. Rather, I've been enormously overtaken by this other self, and have lost much of my ability to communicate over the period of a few months.
That sounds quite unlikely to a on-looker, but I really am serious that this condition began only around seven months ago, and that those within my life are unwilling to believe me about the nature of this condition that I've found myself in.
So, this blog has been my only way of cataloguing particularly nasty moments of my experiences within these past months, and communicating in some way with this other self. It's spiraled downward in a very hopeless trajectory for me, and I'm afraid that even if my proof is solid that it isn't air-tight to those around me.
But, anyways, my point being that I apologize for writing what I have presumably under the notes of one of your posts, or that I've reblogged from you. I will try to categorize it better so that this doesn't happen again, and will try to remember to start using blank posts of my own (with an a " . " for the body of the post) and just typing in the notes on those.
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Street Lights - William Davis , 2020.
American , b. 1952 -
Oil on panel , 10 x 8 in.
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Théophile Steinlen (1859 – 1923)
#reblog#I hate being so centralized#at the center of it and incapable of discerning a train of thought#yes#this post & the last two are 'sick' posts#where you've beaten me to a pulp and it all comes off as drunk ramblings (I do not drink)#I want a shrine website like the one that deitykin's on this site used to use for offerings#With candles & such that are draggable and burn out in real time#maybe it's an addition from those old html 'click pets' or maybe I just need a creative outlet#I am the frog in the slowly heating up water#but you let the heat be turned down & then off & back on again#I can't say anything else on the matter
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dont care didnt ask plus my psychic visions have predicted the outcome of this encounter
#reblog#You really bother me#telling me that I 'ate my mom' and then changing it to 'meow' when I write it out#that's not a metaphor#you are really deluded enough to think that there's some other me in here#was in here#no#there wasn't#I was myself this morning but the truth is not good enough to you#so you lie and tell me that that was my 'self-insert'#when you know how powerless that makes me feel#but I'm sick now#really sick#and you're beating me up and pretending in my mind that I am in a hospital#I wish you wouldn't do this because it fucks with me so severely#I wish they would just leave#but I am unable to be 'myself' unless I'm my 'self-insert'#and you ruin it for me so often that I am incapable of being anyone at all and I've forgotten myself#I could prove it to them by showing them my mother's phone because you were kind enough to appear there directly last week#I feel a need to prove it to them because I am succumbing always to your new inventive mental torture methods
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Palmer Island Light, New Bedford, MA. c. 1870 - William Davis , 2020.
American , b. 1952 -
Oil on panel , 5 x 7 in.
#reblog#I agree with you#That that one is a God#It's easier to start it off this way#You remembered my childhood love of Thousand Isle salad dressing & directly#after posting that statement here you started to give me nightmarish#and painful visions of hospitals#specifically the one's that make me feel discomfort#& now you've made feel as if a child again (in a wholly negative fashion)#And you remembered that I enjoyed for a time#old black & white war psas#just this morning#I managed to get my head back on and ask you to leave and felt like myself for the first time in a while#but it got fucked up soon after#I hope they leave eventually#you're making me very sick#and I just want to be alone
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Stand Still - Jethro Buck , 2022.
British, b. 1986
Tempera on canvas, 122 x 152 cm. 48 x 59.8 in
#this reminds me of a dream I had last night#about morrowind#it really fleshed out like- idk it was Vivec on the coast so there was the ocean#but Vivec or maybe Sotha Sil had this stage built and it looked like pure white mosiac in an arab-style#like they have in mosques#but anyway it was for performing poetry and music#and no one was to touch it or shut it down#I guess because they like encouraging the arts(?)#either way#very nice morrowdream lol#this painting reminds me of it#i really want to make a new blog with original art & stuff#sobbb#reblog
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i wish there was a herobrine mod that didnt like. make him immediately antagonize you. i wish there was one where he just sorta coexisted alongside you? builds his tunnels and pyramids and glowstone towers, maybe pranks the player occasionally, but overall doesnt do much harm. Sometimes you can see him from a distance. maybe you can find a cabin you never built somewhere in your world. i dunno maybe i just want a friend in singleplayer so the world feels less lonely
#reblog#I want to organize this blog#curate my aesthetics and posts so it all fits together seamlesslt#*seamlessly#That's not important right now though#I'm going to make a new blog
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dr phil holding out L pic
#character#reblog#I think you should just leave me alone#You listen to no one#You don't even believe me when I tell you to just keep my#and leave me alone#It's really simple#You are the closest thing that I can think of to a God#Seeing as you have my memories#and you have the ability to induce a profound sense of unreality to my existence#Imagine growing up and as a child- roleplaying that you are friends with a fictional character#(as a note here: I am incapable of describing to a reader that that is what I did as a child because I don't feel strongly#about my recollection anyway)#Regardless- You are inducing within me that same state#I think of it like how you work from back-to-front when you take something apart and learn it's ins and outs#in order to put it back together#You've done that to my existence#as a human being#And because you have figured it out#that enables you to do the things that you have done to my mind#And I think if I can do nothing else to handle this#that I will be forced to see a psychiatrist under the guise that I have several personalities stemming from some unmentionable stress#and that you are one of them#owing to the fact that I cannot see any other way to explain this to a fellow human being than to say that I myself am of the same#sort as you and that I am also some sort of god-like creature who is capable of doing actions that require a level of knowledge#about the inner-workings of our universe that I am not sure I would be capable of not getting carried away in#I would've done better to screenshot our interactions (not with who I've just mentioned) in order to prove my statements#but the morality of that was murky and I found it unseemly to begin with to prove your existence to the world to validate my story#and my sanity#But nothing can be gained from this conversation because you are both a God and my Warden (no- not Sam)
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