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0daytrick0 · 10 days

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Week 8...?

It's been a wild ride, but I'm nearly there. I am currently drowning in all of the work I have to complete, but the finish line is in sight.

I currently have 5 assessments that I need to start along with one exam to study for - well at least watch the lectures and stay on top of it before the exam.

Full time uni, let me tell you, even with having a flexible job, to maintain consistency and manage your time... It's a hurdle.

I just keep telling myself that it's my first official term at uni and I'm going to struggle with this one. Especially when I'm still finding my feet to figure out what works.

At the moment all I want to do is play fallout 4. It's my third playthrough and I got back into it after watching the show and now studying and working is a whole new level of hard.

But I will get there. I know I will. I just have to keep my head down now and concentrate. There are a whole lot of assessment to create and submit, but having these massive lectures to attend ONLINE, man, it makes it way harder than it needs to be. I cannot sit still for more than 30 minutes. 40 minutes on my good day. To have a 4 hour lecture with no breaks, man... It's just setting me up to fail. Especially when I'm in my own house. Do you realise how many distractions there are here? "There is a mark on my desk, let me clean it. I'll go grab a drink of water, oh wait the dishes need doing. I'll just sit down and make a to do list. Oh wait, not until I vaccume my carpet so I can focus."

I have always struggled with procrastination all through school, but this takes the cake. Even things I enjoy doing such as gaming I can't sit still for. It's crazy man. It took so long for me to be able to sit where I am now. To be able to attend University without worldly stress hurdles. I couldn't even attend my bachelor of psychological science after I graduated as I didn't have enough points. So I had to do an online pathways program for three months. I decided to apply for uni and went the year after that only to nearly end up homeless. So then I came back home, got my own place with my partner, and proceed to apply again but online and I am finally here. Ive made it past census date. And I am here for good now.

It took so long to get here. I was so excited about it too. Couldn't wait for a challenge and commit to a grind. But now that it's here... I'm exhausted. I want to quit. I'm starting to not care. I have little focus. It is fascinating at how the human mind works... Whatever the case may be, I am stuck here and commited either way. So I might as well make the most of it and push myself as far as I can (which is not far at the moment).

In between all of this I am trying my best to have money to pay for bills so it's not all reliant on my partner on top of saving money for my tattoo which has been 4 damn years in the making.

I need AT LEAST 5k to be able to drive there, afford the tattoo, and have money for food and accommodation. It's possible. It most definitely is, even with my studies. But it's the saving part that's the hardest. My god is it hard. When I finally can afford things, I just spend all my money on things I like. Don't get me wrong, it's things I use and have wanted for a while. But damn man, I really have to set my priorities. But a budget book and be strict with myself. Honestly, I need to be strict with myself with everything. Studying, saving, eating, going to the gym. I just really need to change my whole mindset and push myself. It's not about motivation, it's about consistency and building habits.

In other news, I finally bought my dream iPad pro along with the apple pencil. I couldn't afford it outright, and I couldn't justify saving for an iPad when I also want a tattoo. So I ended up using a credit card. Which is dangerous and I always swore to myself I would never do. But! I am only using it to pay off the iPad and will delete it once it's paid off. I have also locked the card and will hide the card away from myself. I will not build debt on appliances.

Right now I am planning out my whole week, dedicating time to the priorities, and making time to work as well as work out. It's going to be a massive week, but if I can just start all of these assessments, it won't be so bad.

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0daytrick0 · 2 months

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Week 3: university

Finally in front in all of my studies. Only had to take more than a week off work...

I had my two lectures today and will have another three tomorow before going back to work Wednesday.

I am thoughly loving spending time learning all of this content and really don't want to go back to work.

#studying #blog #university

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0daytrick0 · 2 months

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Uni, week 2

So, here we are, cruising into the second week of university life. Let me tell you, it's been a wild ride from the get-go. Last week, I was stuck wrapping up my job while trying to kick off the semester. Talk about cramming a month's worth of stuff into a weekend and a few weekdays!

Now, I'm rocking two psych courses and two electives - history and public relations. Gotta say, they're keeping things interesting. But let's get real for a sec. Mornings? Not my jam. I need that extra jolt to kickstart my brain, and yeah, I'm talking about those energy drinks. I know they're not exactly health elixirs, but hey, they get the job done.

Right now, I'm knee-deep in an assignment that's sucking up all my time and creative juices. But hey, I've got the basics down, so it's just a matter of putting the puzzle pieces together. And let me tell you, aiming for high grades ain't no joke. It's like a game of academic survival out here, especially with dreams of honors dancing in my head.

But you know what? I'm all about that hustle. I'm hustling to stay on top of my game, to build a routine that actually sticks, and to keep my eye on the prize. And even though I'm itching to dive back into work next week, I'm determined to keep this momentum going.

Despite the chaos, I'm loving every minute of uni life. It's like a rollercoaster of challenges and triumphs, and I'm here for it. Bring it on, second week. I'm ready to crush it!

#university #study

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0daytrick0 · 2 months

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0daytrick0 · 2 months

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honestly not a fan of this one, but hey! It's here

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0daytrick0 · 2 months

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I’m so sorry but in the nicest way possible do yall actually read books or just read words??? Cause I’ve been seeing that trend of people not understanding how “snarled” and “eyes darkened” and “eyes softened” etc. was used in a book and like…

Genuinely, do yall just not have imagination?? Or not understand figurative language??? Also eyes do literally darken and soften have you not lived a life??? How do you read with no imagination? Is this how you get through so many books in one month - you simply don’t take the time the understand the words as they are read?

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0daytrick0 · 2 months

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Starting University...

As of next Monday, I finally start my bachelor of psychological science (again...). After nearly going homeless last year from moving to study, I opted to Instead not give up and complete the undergraduate degree online.

In terms of how I feel I don't really feel anything. I know it's going to be a difference but I won't actually be able to study anything untill next weekend due to work. It's my last week until my contract ends and the last week before the person I'm covering for comes back. I chose to just push on through so that I can end my contact on good terms so they can reinstate me for something good.

They definitely want to keep me, it's just a matter of finding where to put me. Especially since everything (university wise) is on Mondays and Tuesdays, I'm only available from Wednesday to Friday.

I do enjoy working at the hospital and wish to continue doing so. Especially if it helps me get my foot in the door for placement with psychology.

In terms of how ready I am, I have already gotten more ink for my printer, special paper with binders to print my own notebooks (so I can write on my iPad), received my (very expensive) textbooks, bought new pens and a diary, cleaned my PC as well as ordered new parts for it. Overall, I feel I have everything I would ever need to study effectively next week. All I have left to do is to complete the academic integrity modules as well as read any Introduction courses.

I am worried about missing the first official week of uni in terms of reputation. Im worried by missing the first week without saying anything could indeed make me look bad to my teachers. But it's out of my control and it's only one week I'm missing.

I have already gotten on top of all of my cleaning and washing leading me to have no excuses to not study next week. I am worried Im going to be very tired as I'm going to try and get on top of as much as possible at work leading the person I'm covering for not to be thrown in the deep end after her 6 week holiday. If it was a stranger I wouldn't care, but I spent a few weeks with this individual and she was very respectful and very caring. She taught me the ropes in ways that worked for me and never got frustrated with me. I want to go above and beyond for her because of that. And she doesn't deserve to walk into a bucket load of work after being away for so long. She's going to have to teach herself the ropes again.

I'm hoping to go see her Monday morning (after my lecture) the week she's back. Just to pop in and say hello. Answer any questions she has ect.

This is honestly the first job that I have felt genuinely cared for. I recently got really sick and had to be hospitalized, so I missed alot of work. When I returned, to see all the people with genuine concern. To express that happiness upon my return. To offer to help with anything I need. To check my obs whilst I'm on the job. Everyone is just so thoughtful and caring on the surgical ward and it's honestly so heartwarming. To then see everyone be bummed out knowing I leave them very shortly. That i probably won't be back for a while to work with them all. It's honestly makes me a little sad tbh. I have never worked in and industry where people stand by you. Where the staff remain the same. Where people look out for each other and put their own needs above their own. It has honestly been a beautiful thing and I will miss it.

#university #life update #blog #psychology

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0daytrick0 · 2 months

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Hey! (with the intention of taking you on a library date) Picture Credit ~📍pinterest

@luciferslilith7

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0daytrick0 · 2 months

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Romanticizing life and finding happiness and aesthetic in lots of things is what makes life worth living, what helps us cope when we feel miserable a lot. You have a breakdown, then sit outside and a soft breeze hits you, the clouds look pretty, maybe everything isn't so bad. It doesn't fix things, but it makes us feel better. You stargaze a little, paint funny looking art, all of a sudden you feel different, better. Like some things are bad but some things are also good. Had a rough day, now I am making my favorite tea, listening to the animal crossing soundtrack. Life offers you comfort in many ways, interesting to think about.

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0daytrick0 · 2 months

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that image that goes i want to do this. do it. but im scared. do it scared. changed my life

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0daytrick0 · 3 months

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going thru mood swings makes me feel like a sim its so embarrassing

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0daytrick0 · 3 months

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Took me until about halfway through college before I realized “study” means “play with the material in a variety of ways until you understand it” and not just “read the assigned chapters and do the homework” and I think that probably should have been discussed at some point prior to that.

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0daytrick0 · 3 months

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I've heard this quote before from somewhere. Maybe David Goggins lol. But whatever the case it's true. Everything in life is hard. Going to the gym is hard. But being big is also hard. Might as well pick the latter if it's hard either way right?

Every day you choose your hard

Yes, studying is hard but failing is even harder.

Yes, finding motivation is hard but having to accept that you‘ll never get your dream job is even harder.

Yes, staying consistent is hard but falling behind and having to catch up is even harder.

So choose what hard it‘ll be for you

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0daytrick0 · 3 months

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14.02.2024—happy Valentine’s Day ❤️💗

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0daytrick0 · 3 months

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Life update

Well... It's been a while since I wrote personally on here. Safe to say, as per usual, alot has indeed happened.

The new year has begun, and in doing so, my biggest highlight so far (and most recent) and being hospitalized...

I have never really had any reason to go to a hospital other than when my siblings were born and that one time my pop was in there due to health reasons. Other than that, never had any reason to go to them. So, to all of a sudden be hospitalized myself, it was a little scary to say the least.

A week back I ended up catching the flu off my partner. He had it pretty bad, had to take a week off work and still was in recovery the week after with a bad cough and sweats. But I happened to get it towards the end of his first week back at work. And it was intense.

I remember waking up Wednesday morning for work and I almost couldn't get out of bed. Everything ached and I just felt really damn off. I shrugged it off as having bad sleep and went to work. As the day progresses however, I started feeling worse. Dizzy, light headed, sore and a mad migraine. Towards lunch after I had something to eat I felt a lot better. But it wasn't until I went home and laid in bed I crashed. It was so sudden and abrupt. But I could no longer get out of bed without the world spinning. I had no choice but to call in sick to work the next day and again on Friday. Everything ached. I couldn't get comfortable. I was sweating despite shivering. It's currently summer and we have the aircon running 24/7 but I was so cold I turned it off. My partner came home late and he freaked out as it was just so damn hot that I could of died from heatstroke. But I felt so damn cold. The weekend sucked and it wasn't until Tuesday I started feeling a little better but still very ill.

It's such a hard thing to describe how I felt once the flu did pass. Obviously with the flu you have your headaches, aching bones, nausea ect. But how I felt Tuesday. It was none of those symptoms but I felt so Ill. So Ill in fact that I would go for a hot bath and almost couldn't get out on my own. I still couldn't eat and had no appetite whatsoever.I would be coughing constantly and would find majority off the time I couldn't breath. I couldn't take a full breath without coughing my lungs up. So I was constantly trying to breath on shallow fast breaths. I ended up losing my voice a couple of days prior when I had the flu and just tossed it down to coughing too much and straining my vocal cords.

It wasn't until Wednesday around lunch time when my partner was at work and I was attempting to have a conversation with my friend that she rocked up at my house and rushed me to ED. As soon as I got there I was admitted immediately due to having low saturation levels with my oxygen and was put onto oxygen straight away.

After getting an x-ray and having the doctors listen to my chest I ended up having bronchitis. My immune system was so weak from the virus that I ended up getting a bacterial infection in my lungs and it was why I couldn't breath. Because I couldn't breath I wasn't getting enough oxygen in my blood which led me to feel like death itself even after the flu went away.

They kept me over night in ED (which is the noisiest place ever) on the hope they could discharge me the next day. I stayed in oxygen all night and only ended up sleeping for two hours. Which didn't help my case for recovering.

Throughout the night they took my stats and they were not looking good. High heart rate, low saturation levels, high temperature. I ended up staying in ED all day and it was around 9pm that night they sent me up to medical ward and I was officially admitted into the hospital.

What was weird is that once I was up there they didn't give me any oxygen. Which was the whole reason I couldn't go home yet (as I depended on it too much). So it was very weird. By that point I was exhausted and finally being in a dark quiet room I feel asleep instantly. Around 5am I was awoken by a nurse to take my stats and they did not look pretty.

My temperature was high and my heart rate was still sitting close to 100 despite being in rest. But my saturation level was worst of all sitting at 89. Now, with your saturation levels, being a young healthy woman like myself, it should be sitting above 98. I was sitting at 89... Which is not good at all apparently. The nurse immediately put me on oxygen and upped the percentage of oxygen I get pretty high. I was sitting at a 4. Which was already higher than what I was sitting on when I was in ED. I was then pumped full of antibodies through an IV and had to take tablets throughout the day. I still didn't have much if an appatite, so just chose not to eat. Instead I drank lots of water to make up for it.

Nurse would come to take my stats about every 4 hours and they just were not getting better.

When the doctors came they made me go for a walk with the stat machine and my levels dropped so quick. They made me walk back to bed and go straight back on the oxygen.

In between all this my partner would visit me as much as he could. It sucked as I was in a room with 4 other woman with meerly a curtain seperating me. There was no chair in my little space so my partner would have to squeeze in the bed with me. I had no window and was restricted to just enough space for my bed. The three woman in my room were all basicly bed bound and had at least 50 years on me minimum. So I kept to myself. These woman were also very cranky individuals and would often yell at the nurses and not allow them to do their jobs. So I felt very uncomfortable majority of the time.

What made matters worse was the bathrooms. There was only one bathroom that was shared with everyone. It had 3 toilet stalls and 2 showers. From the hallway you had a clear view of the bathroom itself. The toilet stall doors were very high off the ground and had massive gaps on either sides of the door. So people could easily see you if they looked. The showers had curtains that were very short. So you definitely couldn't put your stuff on the floor and bend down to grab it without showing full cheeks.

It felt very uncomfortable and inhumain when I had diarrhoea from the antibiotics and had an old woman taking a shower with the curtain open and an old man in the toilet stall in the middle.

I had no privacy and felt like I was in a mental asylum. To be derived of basic rights. And being the youngest woman on the ward did not make me feel any better. I didn't do much as feel 'unsafe' but more 'uncomfortable' and 'gross'.

There was one bathroom that was private. It had a shower and toilet in it and the door couldn't easily be unlocked from the outside. But the room was more for bed bound patients that had to be transfered to a "bath bed" so that they could be washed. I didn't want to be that person with diarrhoea taking up the main bathroom the nurses use for patients just so I could have a little privacy.

Anyway, to steer the story back on track, it wasn't until Sunday that my stats looked a little better. They slowly weened me off the oxygen to the point I didn't need it anymore. And they noticed that if I took deep breaths through my nose when they did my stats, my saturations levels and heart rate wasn't so bad. Still not great. But not terrible. My temperature ended up going back to normal not long after I was dumped in surgical ward. And upon doing my walk with the doctors on Sunday, my stats weren't plumiting like they were. They were definitely still sitting low, but upon going back to my bed and breathing deep, I was able to bring it back up to a satisfying level without the need of oxygen up my nose. My heart rate was still shooting for the stars going to 180 just from walking. But I could also bring it back down upon focusing on my breathing. They ended up testing my heart to make sure it was healthy. Then I did an MRI.

Can I just say, coming from a person who has never had one before. THEY SUCK. I'm not a claustrophobic person. But needing to lay very still on that bed and having them osub you into this spinning skinny contraption. It's scary. I ended up having to close my eyes and focus on my breathing. On top of that they inject you with something that makes you feel like your peeing your pants. And you get this aweful taste at the back of your throat. All while being in this massive, cramped, loud contraption. It was just aweful.

I was so glad when it was over.

I had to wait a couple of hours but finally one of the doctors came in and told me to go home. They were worried that there would be blood clots in my lungs upon seeing the MRI but I just had an excess amount of fluid buildup. Which can be removed through antibiotics. They said I was healthy enough to go home but had to take it easy for the next 7 days to allow my lungs to recover. I wouldn't be fit for work and would have to see my gp before returning to work.

It being Wednesday, I am already feeling 10x better. I still can't do all my normal things like cleaning and cooking without being out of breath. But the doctors did they it could take up to 6 weeks to recover fully from the bronchitis. I don't feel out of breath from getting up and walking to the toilet or to get a drink. But do find if I try and clean I will start to feel weird and have to sit down to focus on my breathing.

It's been tough. And I never again want to stay in a hospital ever again. But I go through it. And I really got to see my partners and best friend's true colours. My partner did everything while I was in hospital. Cleaning the house, feeding the dogs, washing clothes, bringing me food and fresh clothes. He went above and beyond for me. And this was inbetween his studies for Tafe (which have been intense to say the least). Even after coming home he is still doing everything and doesn't expect me to do a thing. Despite having a whole week off and him lucky to have an hour for himself, he still going above and beyond for me. He even found time to buy me chocolates for Valentine's Day today despite us having nothing planned. He's just so sweet and has proved just how right he is for me.

My friend on the other hand forced me to go to the hospital as she just knew something wasnt right. And she was right. She stuck by my side once I was admitted until my partner could come. Then would constantly text me to see how I'm doing. Upon being discharged she helped drive me around town to get my medication and even bought me sushi before dropping me home.

To have these two people in my life go above and beyond for me when I need it most. To help me no questions ask. No debts to be repaid. To be there for me more than my family ever has or ever could... I am just so damn greatful for them. For them to drop everything when there is trouble. To look after me. To just be there. I never thought I could ever have anything like this. Especially when I couldn't have it with my own family. But to have it with my partner. To have it with my best friend. To finally have people that would literally take a bullet for me. It's literally all anyone needs in life. You can get through anything knowing you have someone that has your back. Through thick and thin. To be graced with not just an amazing loving partner but a dedicated friend. I could go through hell and back as long as I have them by my side. Shannon, Sophie. You pair are my rocks. You tie my soul to this plane and push me to reach my potential. To push me to WANT to reach my full potential. To be able to have someone to fall back on when all else fails. Nothing in the world can beat it. On-top of it all, they are just both genuinely awesome people. My partner is one of the most dedicated and motivated people I know. Anything he wants he will get. He will push himself to have it. To achieve it. It's never a matter of 'how' but meerly an issue of 'when'. When will he achieve it? He is so loving and thoughtful. So clearminded and focused. He's very level headed and intelligent. He's got all the street smarts. And just by introducing himself to a person he can already tell what type of person they are. What type of people they hang out with. Their personalities and morals. It's honestly a super power.

My best friend, she is the strongest yet kindest person I know. She's one to always say sorry but doesn't let people fuck her around. She too is very clear minded knowing what she wants. And for her it's the same as my partner. It's not an issue of 'how' but a matter of 'when'. She is patient and thoughtful. And will drop everything for the people she cares about. She is selfless and caring. And above all else can be a hot head at times but can be really quiet. She can be at both ends of a spectrum at the same time and never ceases to amaze me with her talents and ideas.

I tend to be an introvert and can tire of people very easily. Often being disgusted by them if I'm around them for too long. But these two individuals. I never can get enough of them. I honestly cannot picture my life without them nor do I ever want to.

Long story short, this year has been quite a ride already. And it's only February. But once again my friend and partner has proven themselves to be worth more than a thousand galaxies. I've had a shit run so far but these two have really made it so much more easier.

Shannon. I want to marry you one day. I want to start a family with you and grow old with you.

Sophie. I want to never move too far away from you. I want our kids to be best friends and I want to be those two crazy grannies on a front porch screaming at the youngins.

#best friends #partner #partner in crime #sickness #flu #hospital

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