When i was 15 i always thought about killing myself after finishing school. So I started living every day like it was the last. Drank much, smoked much, did drugs, cut myself, fucked a lot and never cared about my future. On the other hand i always cared about my family and especially my nearest friends and her. I always asked myself how i could stick to my plan without hurting these people. So i decided to wait a bit more after i finished school to get distance to all of them and her. I moved away and thought i almost got it. But i couldnt let go of her and came back. But now with no plan how life works since i waisted all these years before i developed major anxiety issues, that destroyed me and my relationship with her. After that i was down for almost one year but gathered new hope when i started a new job. I quit drinking, i quit parties and i fully concentrated on me and my new developed skills. I met a new girl that i moved in with. We talked about children, we talked about marriage we talked about all of these things life could be wonderful for. But my past caught me and i lost her because i didnt get over things that happened and the resulting issues. Now, when i am 27 i remember this old plan and realise my family members are dead or we are not in contact, my friends all made their way and we are not that close anymore and the most important: I cut her out of my life so i think it wouldnt hurt her anymore.

“Du schneidest deine Sorgen einfach weg.”

—

“I hope you find a way to be yourself someday.”

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Many things learnt many new mistakes made

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EvErYtHiNg GeTs BeTtEr WhEn YoU gRoW uP

Perfide, wenn man daran denkt, dass man der Zeit, in welcher man immer dachte, dass es nicht schlimmer ginge, heute nachtrauert.

Perfide, wenn man daran denkt, dass man der Zeit, in welcher man immer dachte, dass es nicht schlimmer ginge, heute nachtrauert.

Mehr Narben am Arm als Freunde.

(via funkenmoment)

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EvErYtHiNg GeTs BeTtEr WhEn YoU gRoW uP

Man könnte zum Mörder werden, wenn es um Eifersucht geht.

Kann es irgendwann wieder so wie früher werden?

Das Schönste an Fotos ist, dass sie sich nicht verändern. Auch wenn Menschen es tun!

Es sollte Uhren geben, die nur weitergehen, wenn die Zeit, die du lebst, sich lohnt.

Ils Widmer (via winter61)

Wird sich das Ganze lohnen?