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The monsters crawl back to me ever so often that now I feel like home with tragedies. A sadness I cannot escape from, even though I try to bury it under everday.
Every 3 a.m. is a reminder of the emptiness and the ceiling I keep looking at. The sleep doesn't come after, the tear stains are the witness. Eyes droop like curtain of my windows but flash of needles prickle me awake.
Are the cracks on my wall are watching me,does it feel the loneliness I do ? Will it ever talk to me? Will it grow a face someday?
Do all the lonely people feel the same ? Do you walk by a street and the drag the emptiness like a heavy rock/ do you feel it suffocating around your neck/ like thorns.
Do you feel the room consuming you. Do the words from the others never reach your ear ?
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I'm just trying to become someone who the child inside me will not hate. I'm trying to be everything she needed and did not receive. She is so lonely still. It's not fair that she is so lonely still.
Nikita Gill
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Growing up I thought this heavy feeling that resides inside me will deplete and become invisible. But it only grows, with intensity.
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Im 22, and I carry the weight of unsaid words, the heavy gazes and unshed tears.
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Me losing interest in each and everything and then listen to that one verse in that ONE particular song for 47203819 times at a stretch. REWIND THAT SHIT LIKE I'M OBSESSIVE LIKE THAT
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Human.Hands.Heart
A line connects from the palm of my hand to heart. So when you hold my hand,do we connect our hearts? Oh, how silly of me.
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Eavesdropper
They say that walls have ears/it hears our secrets and fears. But what about the shadow that looms in the corner of my room.
The faceless creature stands there looking right through me. It moves with me.
Listens to my words before they leave my mouth/ laughs at my atrocities.
Oh dear, how gullible.
Everywhere I go, the steps shallow but right behind me/over my head.
It reads my secrets like an open book/whispers so quiet I cannot make out the words but..but I do understand like it's a voice in my head.
The fingers nimble, ghostly around me. Holds my fear in it's palm.
It hides under my bed when I sleep but disappears when a ray of light hits.
Laughs at my misery but all I can think of is
'I have a companion'
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Still life but it's just you're stuck in your head but your body runs.
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Blue. Same pattern. Mundane. Just like everyday, the vicious cycle that runs.
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A place close to my heart,a home with windows that reflect my being. My fingers linger a moment longer on your face , tracing the lines of love.
Every door leads to your heart and every corner seeps of your departure.
I would crawl back every time to the galaxy in your eyes.
Maybe the moon will lead my way ,the darkness blinding my path.
I will write poems of your bleeding love that never saturated.
Come find me in the pages of your book, that were torn apart in solitude.
#art#freefrom#me#poetry#random thoughts#literature#thoughts#bts#words#zeecore#love#sad thoughts#idk what im talking about
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Where do we go when words fall short? Do we look into their eyes and read the unsaid/ was it always this opaque.
Do we hold hands and trace the lines of sorrow/let the silence embrace us.
Fragile emotions takes over/ the lines get blurred or was I always this weak ?
Words that never fall off those lips/ I wish I could map them/ colors of desolation that never leaves/I wait at the end of the sea to drown.
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I feel like I'm not trying to be like others but also I'm not me at the same time.
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