Im done

I really cant do this anymore. This eating disorder is taking everything away from me and turning me into a shell of a person once again, whos only thoughts and motives revolve around weight, calories, and body image.

Im selfish and horrible. I have people who love me and want to see me get better, yet I cant even take the time to prove my love to them by making their efforts seem useless. I know where this will lead me to again, thoughts of suicide and self harm, I hole I know I must escape, the hole of self destruction. The hole of self pity. the hole of self hatred. Im already sick enough as it is, why do I crave to be even more sick? why do I crave being on the verge of death? because I cant help but need reassurance that I am important, that I am a person who does good for those around me. This will only lead to misery for the rest of my life, and im tired of misery.

im logging out, please, take care of yourselves.

Made myself an accountability calendar for april this year :3

Cant wait for the week to start againnn im so fucking tired of easter and all this food

Also since im dealing with horrible water retention, im going to wait until the 2nd (in the morning) to weigh myself (and also for my mental health =w=)

THINSPO!

Some of my fav

WHAT!?? thanks for all the follows but im genuinely concerned that so many people are relating to me at this level qwq

I feel so fucking fat today. Im disgusting.

Can my body please stop keeping me between 132-134 PLEASE 😭😭

the urge to cut to beans all over my waist and then light it on fire since fat is very flammable <3

IM A POUND HEAVIER THIS MORNING!!???? WHATT

Bleh just a ps on this.. I was forced to eat around the middle of my fast :/

Ill have a chance to fast for over 30 hours :o

I work tomorrow evening and have school, so ill be able to starve until friday morning ^w^

I did a slight metab day because it crashes way too easily its not even funny lmfao, so hopefully my body will actually burn some fat..

Ive been stuck in between 130-134 lbs, im just hoping I can actually get down to about 129lbs by next week

Workout time!! this piggy needs to burn off more fat before it deserves anything :3

To the reader, hope you had a great day. Also btw thank you guys so much for all the likes and follows I really appreciate it qwq

NOW WHATS STOPPING YOU FROM DOING A LITTLE CARDIO WORKOUT!!!

She’s literally living in my dream body

Ill have a chance to fast for over 30 hours :o

I work tomorrow evening and have school, so ill be able to starve until friday morning ^w^

I did a slight metab day because it crashes way too easily its not even funny lmfao, so hopefully my body will actually burn some fat..

Ive been stuck in between 130-134 lbs, im just hoping I can actually get down to about 129lbs by next week

Considering how hard tumblr is getting rid of edblr accounts and such, I made myself a twitter as a sort of backup since the community there is more active as well

Feel free to follow me there, I need some moots anyways :3

I might make a twt account since tumblr is really cracking down on us. uh

is it just my tumblr feed or dod a shit ton of 4n4 tags get removed/ all the posts are gone? wtf i need this place to cope.

Jesus, working out yesterday was a horrible idea. I did low impact and my joints are killing me, fuckkk,, being chronically ill and trying to lose weight mix horribly

Stay tuned for... more self destructive behaviour on my side :3

Man, one of the biggest f4tsp0's ever is working out and feeling your fat jiggle...

Ive burnt about 400 cals so far, I cant do much more for now considering the hEDS pain but its enough

Even if im starving myself and being brutal to my body, I still need to understand my limits

Same goes to you, reader :3

(Ps; I dont condone f4tsp0 other than using yourself as an example, its not right to pull bigger people into our disordered eating. We are miserable enough, we dont need to drag others down.)