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witchysquirrel · 19 days

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Epiphany

Chapter Fifteen

WARNING: suggestiveness, smut (oral sex: m receiving, face fucking, etc.) 18+, minors DNI

Cassian ran to Ravenna, cheering as he picked her up and swung her around. She giggled as he spun her, overjoyed at the fact that he’d been able to take to the skies again. She thought back to when she'd first seen his wings, completely macerated. She'd never thought she'd see him leave the ground again. He set her down, and she continued to laugh as he pressed kisses all over her face.

He pulled away, taking her face in his calloused hands. “I didn’t think I would ever fly again, when I first woke up that day in the healing tent,” he told her. “But I have you. So somehow I’m alive and I just did it.” His eyes were watery, and she hugged him tightly, then kissed his jaw. Cassian sniffed, digging the key Rhys had given them out of his pocket to open the front door to the cabin.

As they got closer, Ravenna discovered that it was a beautiful oaken cabin, with a wrap-around covered porch and stained glass accents in the windows. It was nestled in a clearing surrounded by trees and forest, and although it was dark, Ravenna could hear the river running nearby. It was utterly peaceful, and as they entered, they each marveled at the huge wood-burning fireplace and hearth that were situated on the far wall of the living room. The living room, kitchen, and sunroom downstairs were all outfitted with the finest furniture, luxury sofas, silken area rugs, glittering chandeliers that somehow meshed with the rest of the more rustic accents. Upstairs they found three bedrooms, one of which was where they left their bags and shoes, and changed into comfier clothing.

“Ooh, look at this,” Cassian called from downstairs as Ravenna was making her way down.

She joined him in the doorway to the basement, which appeared to contain a throne room of sorts. It was beautiful. Why a throne big enough to accommodate Illyrian wings would be needed in a wooded cabin was beyond her, but she supposed that was Rhysand’s business and none of hers. She asked Cassian's opinion anyway. “What could he possibly need a throne for in a cabin in the forest?”

Cassian shrugged absently. He had already begun to imagine himself sitting atop the throne, Ravenna hovering over his–

“Hungry?” she called from the kitchen then, snapping him out of his fantasy. He shook his head to clear his mind, then crossed into the kitchen to find her pulling ingredients out of the cabinets one by one. Either Rhys had anticipated them, or this cabin just had everything you could possibly ever need. Bowls and platters of all shapes and sizes, spoons and spatulas, all basic ingredients and seasonings.

“Cookies?” he asked, beaming at her across the island counter.

She nodded. “Sit with me while I bake.” He took a seat at one of the bar stools, leaning over the counter to watch her. “By the way, if I didn’t say it before, I’m proud of you for flying so fearlessly.”

“Thank you,” he replied. “I was fucking terrified for a second though.” They both laughed as Ravenna began creaming together butter and sugar in a blue ceramic mixing bowl, tucking her hair behind her ears to keep it out of her face. “Your power has always astounded me, but you basically restored my wings entirely.”

She glanced up at him as she went to work on the bowl with a mixing spoon, giving him a half-smile. “Good thing you kept me around,” she answered, then pointed at him with the spoon. “Don’t be mad at me when they’re sore tomorrow, though.”

He rolled his eyes at her playfully, then smiled. “How did you figure out you could heal?” he asked, leaning in. “Were your parents healers as well? I can’t believe these are questions I’ve never asked.”

She laughed at him as she cracked a couple of eggs into the bowl, tossing the eggshells into a trash can underneath the sink. Ravenna wiped her hands on the navy blue apron she wore around her waist. “My parents both came from families of healers, but weren’t healers themselves,” she explained. “They were a bit surprised when their four year old created a hospital for injured chickadees she found on the sidewalk... It’s just something I was born with. They didn’t send me to Dawn until I was thirteen though, someone must've told them it was valuable or something."

He nodded along as she spoke. “It’s interesting to me that they sent you to Dawn alone,” Cassian said. "Why didn't they go with you?"

Ravenna shrugged as she stirred quickly. “I guess I’ve never thought about it,” she replied. “You were all at Windhaven alone. And with more dangerous powers than mine will ever be.” She let a small laugh pass her lips as she began to fold in the flour.

“Hey, I’m sure you could heal someone to death if you put your mind to it,” Cassian said with a chuckle.

“I’m good without the death part,” she replied, scrunching her nose up as she poured bits of chocolate into the bowl. Cassian watched her float around the kitchen gracefully, mixing the chocolate in with the dough. He pondered what she’d said. He knew she obviously didn’t prefer the gore and death they were so accustomed to, but for the first time he wondered how much it affected her. Almost like he could feel some sense of regret or anxiety trickling down the bond.

Ravenna had always been such an enigma; delicate, yet fierce, graceful and bold, quiet, with the loudest, most infectious laugh in every room. He’d seen her unleash on enemies when she needed to, but most of the time he'd watched her outsmart them – she was quick, decisive, knew when to run and rescue, and when to fight. There was a prayer she said over each of the fallen she came across or attended to as they died, he’d heard her say it so many times he knew it by now; ‘Be free, be proud of who you’ve been, rest, you have loved and are beloved.’ She was the gentleness, the eye of the storm in every battle he'd been part of. It all made sense now that they were mates, how much he admired her, why he loved her the way he did. She was everything he needed.

She’d just put the first batch of cookies into the oven and started to wash some of the dishes. Cassian came up behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. He placed a kiss under her ear, a spot of hers he’d discovered earlier that night. She tilted her head to the side for him but continued washing the dishes. He sucked at the soft skin there and she made a muffled sound at the warmth of his lips there.

Ravenna sighed into her mate. “We’re going to be here a really long time if this is day one,” she breathed. Cassian chuckled into her neck.

“I won’t do anything,” he said, his voice low near her ear. “We need sleep so we’ll have the energy to do all of the things I want to do to you tomorrow... and the next day, and the next day....”

The timer on the counter went off, which was exactly the interruption Ravenna needed in order to be able to ignore the bulge straining against Cassian’s pants. She set down whatever dish she was holding, completely unsure if she’d cleaned it or not, and retrieved the cookies from the oven. Cassian followed, arm snaking around her waist as he stood at her side. He began reaching for a cookie, but Ravenna smacked his hand away.

She looked at him, incredulous. “First of all,” she began. “I’m supposed to offer you the food, you don’t take the food. And second, they are so hot right now, you will absolutely burn your tongue if you put that in your mouth right now.”

“I’m sorry. They smell so good,” he replied, sheepishly. She smiled and shook her head, transferring the cookies to a cooling rack.

“Now we let them cool,” she told him, leading him to sit back down. “Already hard again, huh?” Ravenna quipped, gesturing to his crotch.

His eyes flashed to hers. “I can’t help it,” he replied, adjusting his pants. “And don’t act like I can’t smell you right now. The frenzy goes both ways.”

Her cheeks turned bright pink as her core burned with arousal at his words, and she had to cross her thighs together. “Well I couldn’t ignore you,” she said. “Especially now that I know what you’re hiding in there.” She gestured to his crotch where the leather looked like it might tear open to reveal him at any second.

“That is exactly how I feel about everything you are currently wearing right now,” he said. “Now that I know what’s underneath, I don’t think it should be there any more.”

Ravenna scoffed, then transferred a cookie onto the white saucer she’d found in one of the cupboards. It was warm and gooey, cooled enough to eat. She came back over to Cassian and set it on the counter.

“Gourmet, just for you,” she said, picking it up to bring it to Cassian’s lips. He held her gaze as she lowered it to his mouth. He took a bite, watching her as she popped the rest of the cookie into her mouth. The crisp dough melted in your mouth, especially fresh out of the oven warm like they’d been, the chocolate rich in contrast. When she’d finished chewing and swallowing, she brought her fingers to her lips, depositing them into her mouth to lick the leftover melted chocolate from them. Cassian’s eyes tracked her mouth, his lips parted slightly as he watched her. She made him continue to watch her as she stood, took the plate to the sink, and washed her hands. She took a drink of water from a nearby glass, then turned back to him.

“We’re officially mates,” Ravenna said, turning back to him. He was already standing again, staring at her.

“Yeah,” he breathed, the corners of his mouth turning upwards.

They met each other halfway, lips crashing together, hands reaching for somewhere to grip. He held her face in his hands as his tongue dragged along her bottom lip. Ravenna was finished with any form of teasing as desire for Cassian took over, and her hand immediately moved to his pants. She palmed him a couple of times through the fabric, allowing him to moan into her mouth when he finally had some friction. Finally though, she took him by the hand and dragged him into the room with the throne in it.

“Sit,” she said, her voice echoing through the marble room, dark eyes boring into him. He licked his bottom lip, wordlessly obeying her commands. He took his place on the throne, arms resting flat on the sides, feet in line with the dais beneath. Cassian looked up at her from below his brows, adjusting in the seat. She made her way towards him, crawling into his lap. Ravenna kissed him, from his lips, across his jaw, down his throat, to his collarbones. Her hands finally drifted to his waistband, undoing the laces and pulling the zipper down firmly. She kissed down his chest, lips grazing the hard muscle of his torso as she made her way down.

Cassian gasped as she tugged his pants the rest of the way down and took his length in her hand, kneeling between his legs. She looked up at him so sweetly as she took him into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the tip. She hollowed her cheeks out, taking him deeper and deeper, growing wetter at the noises he made in response.

“You take my cock like it’s nothing,” he muttered, panting as she bobbed her head, ungodly noises coming from her mouth as her saliva leaked down his inner thighs. She looked up at him again as she came up for air, and he took a handful of her hair in his fist, pulling her closer. She hummed against him, dragging her tongue over his slit before taking him down her throat again, choking on the size of him.

“Oh fuck,” he moaned, adjusting his hips on his throne. She pulled back, falling back on her heels where she knelt before him.

“You can do whatever you want…by the way,” she said, quietly. He nearly melted, leaning back further on the throne.

“Just tap my thigh if it’s ever too much or you need to stop,” he told her. She acknowledged him with a nod. Readjusting his grip on her dark mass of curls, he began slowly thrusting his hips upwards to meet her mouth.

“Ravenna,” he breathed, squeezing his eyes shut as he ground his hips up into her mouth. “You have no idea how fucking good this feels.”

She moaned against him as he increased his pace, earning a string of curses from his mouth at the vibration it brought. Cassian was surprised to find he was already about to cum, and he let himself go as he fucked into her mouth sloppily. He could hardly contain himself at the sight of her, eyes teary, spit running down her chin.

“You’re gonna make me cum, fuck,” he grunted, pulling her head down, the back of her throat bringing him closer and closer to his end. Finally Cassian let his orgasm rush through him, blowing his load down her throat. She licked up every last drop of his cum, bringing him close to overstimulation as she lapped at his twitching cock. Finally he lifted her to his lap and brought her mouth to his, kissing her messily, licking her mouth clean of him. He wiped her tears, kissing her face gently.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he whispered to her. She looked up at him, a smile in her eyes.

“I don’t think I ever will,” she replied, leaning into his chest. “Can you take me to bed?”

He lifted her easily in his arms, kissing her face a few times before carrying her to one of the bedrooms upstairs and laying her down gently. She crawled underneath the covers, curling up within the comforter. Cassian showered, and by the time he returned, Ravenna was snoring quietly under a curtain of dark hair.

He stroked her face with the back of his hand, then crawled into bed next to her, ready for sleep to take him.

Epiphany Masterlist

A/N: sorry yall but there’s gonna be a steady stream of smut for a sec…. it makes sense for the plot and I’m not gonna pass up an opportunity 🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻

#acotar #acotar fic #acotar oc #cassian acotar #acotar fanfiction #cassian x oc #acotar smut #cassian smut #spicy content #cassian angst

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witchysquirrel · 20 days

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Epiphany

Chapter Fourteen

WARNING: SMUT AHEAD. PROCEED AT UR OWN RISK. 18+. ENJOY.

Cassian pulled her in by the waist, leaning down to press his lips to hers, gently at first. Ravenna let the scent of him overwhelm her, the feeling that grew inside her chest only continuing to expand until she was falling headfirst into it. She felt like she was floating, melting into the feeling of Cassian’s lips on hers, their breath mixing as their kiss deepened. The sounds of Rita’s became a distant pounding in Ravenna’s ears as Cassian walked them backwards until her back was pressed to the wall. He leaned one hand against the wall above her, his other still gripping her waist, suspending her where he wanted her.

She pulled back for a moment to look up at her mate, catching her breath. Cassian looked beautiful standing over her, wings spread wide behind him. His pupils were blown, lips swollen and pink.

Cassian could hardly contain himself, looking down at her as she breathed. It had been hard enough for him to resist Ravenna before, but now he’d deem it nearly impossible. He was quite sure that if she touched his wings now, he wouldn’t have nearly the restraint he’d had when she’d done his dressing changes. Her cheeks were flushed, contrasting against the dark hair that framed her face. “You look so beautiful right now,” he breathed, eyes flashing down to her lips before returning to her eyes.

She flushed again. “Should we go somewhere else?”

“We could,” Cassian answered, looking around. “If you think we can wait that long.”

Ravenna bit her cheek, sure she was probably still blushing. She took Cassian’s hand in hers, leading him to the bathroom in the very back hallway, closing and locking the door behind them. “I put a glamour on the bathroom door,” she said. “It doesn’t exist anymore.”

A proud smile grew on his face. “So smart,” he told her, burying his face in her neck. She giggled, shivering at the feeling of his lips under her ear. When he decided he’d sufficiently covered her neck, he took her in his arms again and kissed her, a passionate kiss, with her hands twisting in his hair. Cassian’s hands found her waist, and he lifted her up, her legs wrapping around him comfortably, lips still connected. He walked them to the marble bathroom countertop, depositing Ravenna on top, in the space next to the sink.

Cassian stood between her legs, hands roving her hips and thighs. Ravenna was above him now, and took his face in her hands as they kissed. She paused briefly, fingering the hem of his shirt. He raised his arms, and she helped him remove his shirt over his wings, revealing a broad chest and toned stomach. She pulled him back in, hands running down the strong lines carved into his stomach. Her fingers traced the lines that lead down his stomach into his pants, stopping at his belt line. He groaned against her, leaning into her further as her hands traveled back up his chest, around to his back and shoulders.

Her touch was light, nimble hands familiar, and Cassian couldn’t believe he’d held himself together during all of those wound care sessions. He couldn’t help himself from gripping her thighs as he leaned in to nip at her throat again. As he worked his way down, she let him guide her sleeves off of her shoulders until her bare chest was exposed for him. He stood back, nearly drooling as he marveled at her pale skin and the fullness of her breasts, the way she looked up at him expectantly.

Ravenna could feel the wetness pooling at her core, from the way Cassian was looking at her alone. He kissed down her chest, licking and sucking at her skin as he went, and she let a moan slip out when he took her nipple into his mouth. Cassian handled her gently, but with intention, humming against her skin in response to the sounds she made. Ravenna looked down at him, raking her fingers through his dark hair. Her mate.

Cassian’s right hand found the hem of her dress and dragged it upwards against her thigh, until it was hiked up on one side and he could slip his hand beneath the skirt. Ravenna gasped as his fingers found her underwear and pulled them aside easily, just barely grazing her where she was most sensitive. She shivered in response, and he detached himself from her chest, towering over her on the counter as he dipped his middle finger into her. Cassian stiffened at the scent of her arousal that now filled the room.

“Already so wet for me,” he purred into her ear. “Do I really have that much of an effect on you?”

Ravenna nodded slowly, lips parted as he removed his fingers. He held eye contact with her as he knelt before her, hiking the rest of her dress up to where it bunched at her waist. She helped him, holding the skirt out of his way, opening her legs for him. He pressed light kisses all the way up her inner thighs, until her scent was so close that he couldn’t possibly hold back any longer. Cassian practically tore her underwear off, discarding them to the floor and pulling her hips forward. He sighed happily at the taste of her as he buried his tongue into her, holding her hips down as she bucked against him in pleasure.

“Cassian,” she panted, locking her hands in his hair, pulling his head closer to her. Ravenna watched him between her legs, lapping messily. Cassian enjoyed it just as much as she did, his tongue driving whimpers and moans out of her until her eyes were squeezed shut with pleasure. He loved the taste of her in his mouth, the warmth of her body so close to his face. He especially liked the way she’d breathed his name, her grip on his hair growing tighter the more he pleasured her.

“Oh my gods,” she whined. “You’re going to make me cum.” Cassian groaned against her clit, but Ravenna gasped at the loss of contact when he removed himself and rose to stand again. He took her face in his hands and kissed her deeply, making her taste her own sweetness.

I want you to cum on my cock first.

Ravenna’s head rushed at the sound of his voice within the walls of her mind, and her hands immediately made their way to the ties on his leathers, working quickly to loosen them. Cassian kissed her neck as she did, his breath hitching as she finally pulled them down over the hard bulge to reveal his leaking length. She stroked him a few times, running her thumb over the tip which earned another low moan from her mate. Cassian pulled away then, spitting in his hand and running it over himself. He lined himself up with her entrance, tracing her from top to bottom with his cock.

Finally, he began pushing his way into her, inch by agonizing inch. Ravenna’s eyes closed in pure bliss as he filled her, her legs wrapping around his waist, hands on his chest. Cassian had one arm above her, hand pressed to the mirror behind the counter, the other hand tightly gripping the skirts that bunched at her waist, wings shadowed behind him. When he’d filled her to the hilt, he paused for a moment to kiss her.

If anything is too much, just let me know.

I will.

Cassian kissed her deeply, and Ravenna gave herself over to him, melted into the feeling of him inside of her, his mouth on hers, their minds twisting and tangling together. She whimpered as Cassian removed himself slowly, before thrusting back into her fully, deeply. She held onto him as he set the pace, holding her hips in place and driving his into them.

“Oh fuck, Cassian,” she moaned, mouth dropping open as he increased his pace. He was bigger than anyone she’d been with before, yet somehow she still needed him deeper, closer. She opened her legs more for him from where she was perched on the counter, and he attached both hands to her hips now, fucking into her with ardor.

“You’re taking me so well,” he cooed, eyes latched to the spot where their bodies joined. She nodded, moaning as his hips ground into hers over and over again. He rested his forehead against hers, her hands creeping up his chest to his shoulders. He changed his angle slightly, earning a sharp inhale from his mate.

“Oh my gods, right there,” she whined, mouth open as the tip of his cock nudged the spot she loved so much. Cassian let out a strained roar, ravaging her now that he’d found her favorite spot. He fucked into her thoroughly, with purpose, the scent of their combined arousal only encouraging him.

Cassian slipped a hand between their bodies, resting the pad of his thumb against her clit as he fucked her. It was enough to send Ravenna dangerously close to the edge, and in response, she reached her hand over Cassian’s shoulder running a light fingertip over the crest of his wing. His eyes practically rolled back into his head at her touch, but he kept fucking her deep and hard.

“I’m gonna cum,” she let out, in gasps.

“Yeah? Cum all over my cock, baby,” he crooned in her ear, his voice low as he rubbed circles over her clit with his thumb.

Her orgasm hit with a few more strokes, the way she clenched around him, the sounds she made as she came sending him into his own climax. They moaned together, riding out each others highs, until Cassian collapsed forward, kissing Ravenna lazily. They lay in a heap, breathing heavily.

“That was pretty good for a bathroom counter,” Cassian said, muffled by his face in Ravenna’s chest.

“Are your wings okay?” She asked as she stood, fussing over her mate’s scarred wings. “I wouldn’t have recommended that much physical activity yet.”

“I’m fine, love,” he said, shaking them out and wrapping her into a hug. “Are you okay? I know I can be a lot.” He kissed the top of her head, running his hands through her hair.

“I’m wonderful,” Ravenna replied, laughing as she pulled her dress down and stood on her tiptoes to kiss his face. She finger combed her hair, straightening her skirt. “So, now what?” She asked. “We tell everyone?”

“I mean theoretically I think you’re supposed to feed me but I understand if that feels degrading to you,” Cassian answered, smiling. “But yeah, we can tell everyone.”

“They'll be happy, I think," Ravenna said, following him out the bathroom door and doing away with the glamour. “And I’ll bake you cookies.”

Cassian took her hand in his, raising it to his lips to kiss her fingers momentarily. “That sounds perfect,” he answered with a grin. They walked back out into the din of Rita’s and out the door, into what was now nighttime over Velaris.

“I can’t believe any of this is real,” Ravenna said, quietly, squeezing his hand in hers. “You’re mine.”

“And you’re mine,” he replied, sighing contentedly. Ravenna told him to hold on tight, then winnowed them above the House of Wind, where the rest of their friends would be getting ready to wind down by now.

The pair found Mor, Rhys, and Azriel in the living room, enjoying a bottle of wine from Rhys's collection. She locked eyes with Mor first who gave her a huge smile, miming a high five to her from across the room. Ravenna couldn't help but smile at her friend.

"You two look happy," Azriel called as they entered, muted smile on his face as he appraised his brother and his healer.

"Please tell us there's good news," Rhysand added.

Cassian smiled down at Ravenna. "We're mated," he said, looking back to his family. Mor jumped up, squealing as she hugged them both. Rhys and Az followed suit, congratulating the couple.

"It's about time," Rhys said. "I've been hoping this would happen for years now."

"Why? So there's someone to keep your General alive forever?" Ravenna shot back. Everyone laughed, Rhysand in agreement, and the sound of her laugh had Cassian stuck to her side like velcro again. She perched on his knee as they all sat around discussing their friends, and the mating bond, and how crazy it was the way that things work out even after hundreds of years.

"You know, I actually just bought this cabin property down by the river," Rhys said. "Currently unoccupied, but it's fully furnished and running. My mating gift to you, for... however long you need it."

It was a generous gift, but Rhys insisted, and the devilish look that Cassian gave her at this proposition encouraged her not to push back on his generosity. She was grateful for whatever uninterrupted time she'd have alone with her mate, and she ached thinking about him taking her again. She'd heard rumors about 'the frenzy' as the Fae called it, but she wasn't sure anything could have prepared her for the aching, constant, desire she felt for Cassian.

After sharing a glass of wine with their friends for another hour or so, Rhys tossed Cassian the keys to the cabin. They each packed a bag of clothes and whatever else they might need. Ravenna threw a few books on top of her clothes and raced back out to meet Cassian at the training ring. When she made her way up the stairs, he was there waiting for her, brightening as she approached.

"Do you want to try flying?" Ravenna asked, dropping her bag at her feet.

"Really?" Cassian asked. "You think I should?"

"It's not very far," Ravenna said. "Warm up. We'll try just by yourself first, I'll winnow and meet you there."

Cassian looked like he could cry with joy at her words, but he swallowed and started warming up, stretching his back and shoulders. It had been months since he'd flown, since he'd felt the cold air on his skin as he coasted through clouds and mist and rain. He missed it.

When he'd finished stretching and the blood was flowing to his muscles, he moved his wings in a practice flap.

"Hold on Batboy," Ravenna said. "Kiss me before you potentially fall to your death."

He shot her a look.

"I'm just kidding. I'll see you there," she said, and he leaned in to kiss her. Ravenna stepped back, waiting to watch him take off. He stretched a few more times, and then ran to take off as he normally would have. He should've been scared, but he found that he wasn't, just hoping his wings would remember what to do.

Cassian squeezed his eyes shut as he let muscle memory takeover, and suddenly he realized he was airborne. He soared through the sky, the wind stinging his cheeks. Ravenna encouraged him from below, her cheers coming out on the verge of sobs as she watched him in the air. He smiled, feeling more Illyrian than he had in too long, letting his muscles work to propel him through the sky.

Ravenna choked back happy tears as she watched her mate flying once again, despite his fragile, scarred wings she had tended so carefully to for so many weeks. She smiled to herself, then winnowed, arriving at the door to the cabin Rhys had gifted them.

She could hear the rush of the river to the South, soothing as it flowed down through the mountains. The cabin was surrounded by trees, it's Oak exterior blending seamlessly with the natural environment.

Ravenna turned at the sound of wings nearby, spotting Cassian zipping through the air in her direction. He dove for the ground, somersaulting on impact and popping up just in front of her, cheeks flushed and eyes lively.

He pulled her into a deep, passionate kiss, pulling away after a few moments. "I flew," he breathed, running a hand through his hair.

"You flew," she said, beaming back at him. "I knew you would fly again."

Epiphany Masterlist

#acotar #acotar fic #acotar oc #cassian acotar #acotar angst #acotar smut #cassian x reader #cassian x oc #acotar fanfiction #cassian angst #cassian smut #mates #friends to lovers #cassian friends to lovers

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witchysquirrel · 21 days

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Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

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witchysquirrel · 24 days

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Epiphany

Chapter Thirteen

Ravenna found her way to her room, immediately ridding herself of the gown that felt restrictive and hot now that she was at home. She changed into a pair of black lounge pants and a black sweater, leaving her jewelry in place out of laziness. The healer felt like she could hardly keep her head on straight. At least she’d have good news to give Rhysand if Fetrin had indeed told her the truth about his stance on the slavery happening on the Continent.

Maybe she’d ask Rhys about her dynamic with Cassian, too. She trusted his opinion… most of the time.

The anxiety lost out to the exhaustion at some point, and Ravenna slept long and hard. She stayed in bed the entire next day in addition, just because she couldn’t bring herself to leave her bedroom.

She awoke the next morning with a decent headache, and dragged herself to the bathroom. Beginning to draw a bath, she turned the faucet all the way right, then moved to the medicine cabinet above the sink. She poured herself a small plastic cup full of a tonic she kept on hand for this type of headache, and threw it back. It left a metallic taste in her mouth, but worked nearly 100% of the time. Stripping from her clothes, Ravenna settled into the warmth of the tub and closed her eyes.

Her mind wandered back to the night prior, flashing from Fetrin’s words, how sure he had been in what he’d told her; then to Cassian, the image of him spinning her around with the biggest smile on his face etched in her memory forever. She’d prefer to just replay the last image over and over again, and avoid thinking about any other context. She resolved to ask Rhys his opinion when she saw him later today. She needed someone else’s perspective to even everything out.

Ravenna wore a black velvet gown that fell just above her ankles, inky curls falling loose behind her shoulders. She made her way quickly to Rhysand’s study, hoping to avoid talking to anyone else on her way there. When she arrived, he glanced up at her from where he sat at his desk, puzzling over a lengthy piece of correspondence, which he set aside as she hastily closed the door behind her.

“How did your night end up going, my spy in training?”

She took a seat in the plush armchair across from his desk. “It was mostly good, honestly,” she said. “I don’t think we need to worry about the Dawn Court, if everything he told me was true.”

Rhys nodded. “Good. You held up okay emotionally?”

“Mostly, yeah,” Ravenna answered, biting the inside of her cheek.

“Mostly,” Rhys repeated, looking at her with curiosity.

“Fetrin said something that kind of threw me for a loop,” she said, quietly. Rhys continued looking at her, waiting for her to fill the silence that followed. He narrowed his eyes.

“Spit it out, Ravenna.”

“He thought Cassian and I were mates.”

Another weighty silence followed, Ravenna attempting to read the expressions on her friend's angled face.

“What made him say that?” Rhys asked.

“He said it after watching us dance together,” she said plainly. “And he seemed very sure about it.”

“That’s interesting,” he replied, eyes trained to his desk once again.

“I thought so too,” she said, watching him.

“Well? Have you felt the bond?” he asked, resting an elbow on the surface in front of him and looking at her carefully.

Ravenna blinked. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like,” Ravenna replied curtly.

“I suppose I don’t either,” he answered. She rolled her eyes.

“You’re being weird. Tell me what you know,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I think you should talk to Cassian about it, not me. I really don’t know anything,” he said, shrugging smugly.

“I brought it up because I wanted your opinion, actually,” Ravenna shot back, leaning forward in her chair.

“I mean I will say, it has seemed like you guys have gotten closer recently,” Rhys answered, hands raised in surrender.

“Was that so hard?” she half-joked. “I feel like we’ve gotten closer too, since we started speaking mind to mind.”

“Since you started speaking –” Rhys cut himself off, just before the point of clapping a hand over his open mouth like a cartoon character. “No, you know, that’s really interesting. My honest opinion, Ravenna, as your friend and High Lord, is that you should talk to Cassian.”

“What if I don’t want to… ruin things? And he has Celeste. I just don’t know.”

Rhys paused, gaze returning to Ravenna. “He and Celeste broke up last week. I thought you knew already.”

Ravenna felt her stomach drop. “I didn’t know,” she said, quietly, looking back to Rhys. She shook her head. “That doesn’t change anything.” And with that she rose, leaving the way she came, the door swinging in her wake. Rhys rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, impressed with himself for not giving in to her questions, allowing it to be Cassian’s responsibility.

Ravenna left, heading straight for Mor’s side of the house. She flung open the door of Mor’s suite to find it in complete disarray, with Mor in the center of it all snoring softly. Ravenna stepped over out of place furniture and a stray glass bottle, until she reached Mor, shaking her awake. Mor jolted awake, but relaxed when she realized it was Ravenna.

“I need your companionship,” Ravenna huffed, resting back on her knees. “I was going to say I need someone to get drunk with, but you look like you don’t need that right now.”

“No, no! Those bottles are from the night of the ball. I honestly just haven’t cleaned up yet,” she snorted, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, although it was nearly 6pm. “I’ll never turn down the proposition of Rita’s.”

Mor changed into a casual midnight blue gown that plunged so low, Ravenna actually checked to make sure everything was covered. Ravenna put on light makeup, flipped her hair a few times, and called it good. Rhys offered to fly them into town, which they gladly accepted, and Ravenna wondered if he was pitying her. They arrived at Rita’s, each ordering a glass of wine, and picked a couple of seats at the end of the bar.

“Tell me everything about the ball,” Mor said, bringing her elbow to the bar and resting her chin in her hand.

Ravenna sipped from her glass slowly. “It was fine,” she said. “I actually had a fine time with Fetrin, it was nice to talk with him again.”

“Oh good! So he wasn’t a complete asshole?”

“Surprisingly no! Only a slight asshole.” The two laughed in unison.

“Well that’s great, Rav. I’m glad it wasn’t entirely awful,” she replied, her features soft.

“Speaking of which, I didn’t see you at all after the first twenty minutes of the ball,” Ravenna said, sitting up slightly and raising an eyebrow at her friend.

“I was around,” she reassured. “I did bring someone home fairly early but I was mostly there.”

Ravenna giggled. “So you had a good night, I take it?”

Mor nodded, taking another huge gulp from her glass of red wine, before something caught her eye behind Ravenna, towards the front door. “Oh there’s Cassian, let me-“

“No!” Ravenna yell-whispered, eyes wide as she smacked down the hand Mor was raising to wave him over. Mor’s eyes widened at Ravenna’s behavior, but she stopped what she was doing. Mor was surprised at her outburst, as was Ravenna herself, and she covered her face with her hands.

“Do you wanna tell me what in the hell that was about?” Mor asked, brows raised at her friend.

“I really don’t want to talk about it, but I know I should,” Ravenna replied, grimacing slightly.

“Okay… spill then,” Mor answered, and flagged down the bartender. “We’ll take a bottle of Merlot to share.” Mor joked about wondering if they had any larger wine glasses, and Ravenna offered to ask for her.

“So anyways,” Ravenna finally said over the din. “Fetrin was convinced that Cassian and I are mates.” She said it all in one breath, letting the words hang weightless in the air. Mor’s eyebrows raised once more, her face morphing into a huge smile. Ravenna immediately began shaking her head.

“Oh come on! This is a best case scenario, Ravenna,” Mor mused excitedly, as Ravenna continued shaking her head.

“No.”

“Why not?! I love the idea of you two together, I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of it before! Ravenna. Please.”

“I have no idea if he’s actually my mate,” Ravenna answered. “Or if he feels anything even remotely for me.”

“I mean you did tell me about his voice in your head,” Mor shrugged. “That’s not very common for someone who’s not entirely Daemati. Could be the mating bond.”

Ravenna hadn’t considered it that way, her chest feeling tight as she realized the truth to Mor’s words. She drank more wine and tried to take a deep breath, to calm down.

“I’m telling you, this is such a good thing. Why are you so scared?”

“We have such a good friendship. I don’t want to ruin everything.”

“Ravenna. The friendship part doesn’t have to end,” Mor said, “you get to be friends and have crazy sex. It’s the best of both worlds. And I’m sorry to say this about your potential mate, but also, happy for you when I say that their little ‘wingspan’ jokes are absolutely true.”

Ravenna couldn’t help but crack at that, laughing with Mor and taking another gulp of wine.

“Maybe you’re right,” Ravenna replied, sighing. “I guess I’m scared of all these hypotheticals I’ve created in my head. They’re all hypotheticals where I get hurt.”

“You’re scared of getting hurt,” Mor repeated back to her. “I don’t think it’s unreasonable. I just don’t want you to miss out for fear of something that hasn’t happened yet.”

The healer looked at the blonde next to her with gratitude. She was so thankful for Mor; her ability to level out Ravenna’s anxieties was nearly unmatched. Ravenna needed Mor’s confidence, more of her willingness to believe she deserved something good.

“I still don’t know what to do next,” Ravenna said. “I’m not sure what the bond snapping is meant to feel like... There has been one time… or maybe a couple times, that I thought I felt something, when I’d been, uhm, close to him. But I got scared, and I left.”

“Replicate the conditions,” Mor said with a devious smile. “And then give into the feeling instead of running away from it.”

“You’re right, I guess. I should talk to him.”

“Good thing he is quite literally across the room.”

Ravenna sighed. “I was thinking more like tomorrow, the next day, something like that.”

“Just do it! He’s literally right there.”

Ravenna chugged the rest of her wine, took a deep breath and then turned from the bar to face the rest of Rita’s. Her vision was slightly fuzzy in the dim lighting, but she made out familiar wings across from where she and Mor sat, but to the left.

“I don’t know if I can do it,” she said, face wrought with worry.

“You can!” Mor urged with a smile, nudging her off of her barstool and onto her feet. It was the push she needed to propel her in Cassian’s direction. Before she knew it she was crossing the floor, black velvet swishing at her ankles as she walked. Cassian was standing against a far wall, arms mostly crossed in front of him, holding a beer in one hand as he mostly listened to the males around him talk. His eyes softened when he saw her approaching, and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hey,” he echoed.

“Can we talk for a second?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Cassian followed her through Rita’s until they reached the corridor where the bathrooms were, and then they branched off into another hallway adjacent, stopping before a door marked ‘Employees Only’.

Cassian almost looked amused, watching her as she turned to face him again, waiting for her to speak first. She looked up towards the cracks in the ceiling to avoid his face as she started talking.

“I feel like our relationship has changed, recently,” she started, attempting to keep her voice steady. “I feel closer to you.”

He hummed a little, contemplating her words. “I agree,” he said, swallowing. Ravenna watched his adam’s apple bob as he did so.

“I think…” she began, taking another breath. “I don’t know..” she said again, stuttering. “I just wondered what you thought about that, I guess.”

“About the fact that we’re mates,” he said bluntly, Ravenna shocked to hear him voice what she hadn’t been able to.

“So you know,” she replied, quietly, cheeks flushing.

“I suspected, for a while there. Until the bond snapped for me,” he added. “Then I really knew.” She met his eyes then, their soft hazel burning into her with an intensity she hadn’t expected. She wet her lips with her tongue, heartbeat pounding in her ears.

“I’m worried,” she said, after a moment. “I really love our friendship. I don’t want to change anything.”

He took a half-step closer to her. “We’re still friends,” he said, quieter than before. “We’ll always be friends.”

She bit the inside of her cheek, heart continuing to flutter madly in her chest. “What did it feel like?” She asked him. “When the bond snapped?”

He smiled a little bit. “It felt like something opened up in me,” he began, touching the base of his sternum. “Like deep inside, and it wanted to reach out for you. I ignored it the first time, I don’t think I realized what it was. I accepted it the second time, fell into it, that’s an entirely different feeling.”

Ravenna was quiet. “I think I’ve felt it,” she said softly. “But I’ve been too scared to accept it.”

“I know it’s scary, and I know I’m acting really normal right now but I absolutely fucking freaked out at first, too,” Cassian said.

“What did it feel like once you accepted it?”

He broke his gaze from her, flushing just slightly in the cheeks as he scratched the back of his neck. “There’s no way for me to say it nicely, honestly. I wanted to take you right there, and everywhere.”

She turned pink at his words, laughing nervously. “I shouldn’t have asked, truly, I knew the answer.” Cassian chuckled, shoving his hands in his pockets. Ravenna took another deep breath in through her nose, exhaling slowly before looking back at him again. “I’m willing to take the risk,” she said. “It’s really hard to ignore this thing, believe it or not.”

Cassian took another step closer to her, close enough that she had to look up at him a little. “Are you sure?” Her heart pounding in her chest, Ravenna hesitantly closed the distance between them, lifting her arms and snaking them around his neck. His hands found her waist, settling in lightly. She looked up at him, breathing in the scent of him, that feeling beginning to grow in her chest once more, spreading its warmth through her. She nodded, a shiver of warmth traveling down her spine. “Positive? Once we start I’m not going to be able to resist you anymore.”

She nodded a second time.

Epiphany Masterlist

#acotar #acotar fic #acotar oc #cassian acotar #acotar angst #cassian angst #acotar fanfiction #cassian x oc #cassian x reader #acotar smut #sjm universe #acowar #acosf

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witchysquirrel · 27 days

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The urge to bother my mutuals

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witchysquirrel · 27 days

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hello if anyone happens to read this: I initially posted my WIP cassian fic under the title ‘A Court of Healers and Plotholes’ but have decided on a simpler name that I like better, so it’s now titled ‘Epiphany’ :) also I am newer to tumblr so let me know if you want to be mutuals & teach me how the f to use this effectively bc I’m trying to teach myself and we’re not slaying in that department <3

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witchysquirrel · 27 days

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💛💛💛💛

Fic Recs

💕 Fluff

❤️‍🔥 Smut

💔 Angst

📚Multi Chapter

📖 WIP 📒 Completed

Be Yours by @writingsbychlo 💕

Forever my love by @bat-boys 💕❤️‍🔥

Overwritten by @illyrian-dreamer (11 parts) 💔❤️‍🔥 📚📒

Hobbies by @milswrites (12parts) 💕💔📚📒

Notice me by @heartless-tate 💕

Teach Me by @solbaby7 (brief Elain x Reader) 💕

Always by @redbleedingrose (9 parts)💔💕📚📒

Not again by @fanwarriorfictions 📚📖(Rowilen Daughter)

A Place For Dying by @illyrianbitch 💔

A Court of Healers & Plotholes by @witchysquirrel 💔❤️‍🔥📚📖

Mama Mia 2 by @assriels 💔💔💔

Knocked Up by @tadpolesonalgae ❤️‍🔥

The bonds that break us by @daydreaming-nerd 💕💔❤️‍🔥📚

To Be Wed 2 by @bloodycassian (AzrielxReaderxRhysand)❤️‍🔥

Handmaid by @littlestw01f (NestaxReaderxEris) ❤️‍🔥

Blurred Lines 2 3 4 by @solbaby7 (readerxRhysand&Azriel) ❤️‍🔥📚

Double Duty by @azsazz (RhysandxReaderxCassian) ❤️‍🔥

If you should die by @azsazz (BatBoysxReader)❤️‍🔥

Tender by @shadowdaddies (batboys x reader) ❤️‍🔥💕

But Home Is Nowhere by @mirandasidefics 💔📚📖 (endgame pairing undetermined)(Ruhn, Azriel, Lucien)

Lucien x Reader by @gothicbabydollz ❤️‍🔥

Care for you by @shallyne 💕(Feyre x Lucien)

Coming soon

The Dilemma by @shadowdaddies (Az & Cas present) ❤️‍🔥

Happiness in the heart by @munsons-hellfire 💔💕

Love and Lust by @surielstea ❤️‍🔥💕

Gust & Flame by @invisibleanonymousmonsters 💔💕📚📖

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witchysquirrel · 27 days

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Epiphany

Chapter Twelve

“Ravenna!” Rhys boomed, wrapping her into a hug and kissing her on the cheek as if he’d not seen her merely 20 minutes ago.

“Rhysand,” she laughed, then stepped aside. “This is Fetrin, my childhood friend from the Dawn Court.”

Rhys extended his hand to the male with a broad smile on his face, though Ravenna could see the silvery glow in his eyes that dared Fetrin to say the wrong thing, and the air was thick with the darkness that his power exuded. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Rhys said. “Anyone who’s a friend of this one is a friend of ours.”

“Pleased to meet you. It seems she’s been well taken care of here,” Fetrin replied, bowing his head to Rhys.

“She takes care of herself very well,” Rhysand corrected. “And takes care of the rest of us too, now that I think of it.” With that, he winked at the pair and headed off in the opposite direction. “Enjoy the party! Send Thesan my regards!”

Fetrin watched him leave, and then leaned down to Ravenna’s ear. “He is extremely scary,” he said over the din of the party. Ravenna laughed, genuinely, in response.

“He is scary, but he means well,” she added, finishing her glass with a giggle.

“I believe you. Another drink?” he proposed, his right hand falling to rest on the small of her back.

“Please,” Ravenna answered, allowing him to guide her back towards the bar. She was feeling the freedom that the alcohol allowed her, and couldn’t remember why she had been nervous in the first place. The orchestra played beautifully, the crescendo of the music reverberating in her chest. She ordered a cocktail, and the pair floated back to the edge of the room.

“Tell me more about you,” Ravenna said, sipping her drink and raising an eyebrow at him. “You’re not the kid I knew anymore.”

“I’ve done a lot, since… since then. Studied philosophy for a while, did some more military service. Traveled some,” he answered, one hand in the pocket of his pants.

“Married?” Ravenna asked as casually as possible.

He chuckled. “Never. My parents tried a few more arrangements but… I think work just takes up too much of my time.”

“I know that all too well,” she replied. “Sometimes I prefer it that way.”

“I don’t believe for a minute that you’re still on the market, Ravenna,” Fetrin said, shaking his head slightly.

“Believe it,” she replied with a laugh. “I’ve been told my lifestyle isn’t quite what most males are looking for.” She scanned the ballroom, the hall glowing in contrast to the sky that was now dark with twilight, stars sparkling in the distance. Subconsciously, Ravenna knew she was looking for the points of Illyrian wings above the crowd, but when her eyes finally landed on Cassian talking with a group of soldiers she knew, her chest fluttered. She quickly returned her attention to Fetrin.

“My mother said something similar to me last week. That no one wants to marry a workhorse,” Fetrin replied, making a face. “But I don’t have nearly the same amount of charm as you.”

Ravenna leaned into his shoulder, nudging him slightly. “As charming as I may be, I prefer to just do my job, most of the time.” She glanced in Cassian’s direction again, surprised to meet his gaze. He gave her a small smile, before she averted her eyes again.

“What does healing entail outside of wartime?” Fetrin asked.

“Mostly helping people recover from their injuries, doing home visits for wound care in the city and things of that nature,” she answered. “The immediate post-war period is always the busiest. What about you?”

“In short, I attend a great deal of meetings and respond to an even greater deal of correspondence between the High Lords and their other allies on the Continent. A glorified messenger,” he conveyed, rubbing his chin.

“You most certainly work more in collaboration with the High Lord than I do,” Ravenna said, “and I’m sure Thesan is a much better companion than Rhysand.” The pair laughed together, and Fetrin nodded emphatically.

“Thesan isn’t old enough to scare me yet.”

They talked about their lives, where they’d been, how their parents were, how the places they frequented when they were young had changed. There seemed to be an endless supply of things to be updated on, and they found themselves chatting like old friends – Ravenna tried not to think about the subtext that they were chatting like he hadn’t killed the love of her life and then tried to marry her afterwards.

Ravenna finished her drink. “Do you want to dance with me?”

Fetrin nodded, and her head felt fuzzy as he offered her his hand. She took it, allowing him to lead her through the crowd to the dance floor in the center of the room. They discarded their empty glasses on a nearby table, and Fetrin swept her into position, one hand on her waist. She took his hand, resting the other on the crest of his shoulder. She had to choke back the feelings that brimmed at the familiar scent of him now that he was so close. He carried her across the floor, the other patrons blurring in her peripheral vision.

The first song that played was heavy with fiddle, quick and flighty, with lots of spinning. Ravenna reveled in the music, enhanced by the buzz in her head, and giggled the whole time. Fetrin kept her upright and headed in the right direction, and that was all she needed. The next song that played was much slower, more dramatic and sensual than the one before. She looked up at Fetrin, and he pulled her slightly closer by her waist, both hands resting just above her hips. She swayed with him, looked up at him from below dark lashes, until the music picked up slightly and he spun her once more. When Fetrin released her to twirl, she met Cassian’s gaze from across the room. His eyes were dark, siphons flickering vaguely as he watched her. The music carried her back around and into Fetrin’s arms, the scent of him overwhelming her again.

He needs to watch his hands.

Ravenna’s cheeks grew hot at the sound of Cassian in her head, barely more than a growl. She continued to dance, floating across the floor as her dark hair flowed over her shoulder behind her. The gown she’d chosen was perfect for dancing, the cape that flowed from the skirts sparkling as she moved.

I’m serious, Ravenna.

It’s just dancing. I’ll be done with him soon.

They danced for a few more songs, until the music slowed to a pace where they were able to catch their breath.

“When do you go back to Dawn?” Ravenna asked.

“Tomorrow morning,” Fetrin replied. “I’ve got a meeting to get back for.”

“So many meetings,” Ravenna breathed. “You sound exactly like all of my friends. Everything is always so political.”

Fetrin laughed. “There are always decisions to be made, pawns to be moved, I guess.”

“I only wonder where the humans fit into all of it,” Ravenna said with a sigh.

“I do too,” Fetrin said, eyes softening. Ravenna let the silence sit for a moment after that, determining where to go from there.

“I went on a mission once,” she started, “we’d invaded this mansion on the Continent, it was some sort of rescue mission. There were a number of injured and dead and it was my job to recover the casualties and heal as much as possible in the field.” He watched her intently as they danced, slowly swaying together.

“Only two of those I healed from there had injuries from the invasion itself,” she continued. “The rest were human slaves that were being kept within the house, so badly beaten that I could only provide minimal relief.” She held her breath as she waited for Fetrin’s response.

“That is despicable,” he said quietly, shaking his head. “It’s despicable that it’s not completely outlawed throughout Prythian and beyond.”

“Isn’t it? I’ve always hoped something would change, but after that it became hard to ignore,” she returned.

“I’m hopeful something will change one day,” he said. “With the right people in charge.” Ravenna smiled up at him genuinely, detecting no mistruth. They danced one last song together, before he led her from the floor and went to fetch water. They stood together in silence as they caught their breath and sipped the water from crystal chalices he’d found at the bar.

“I wanted to tell you how sorry I am,” Fetrin said, “for everything that happened, back then.” They stood facing each other, and Ravenna tried to keep her face neutral as she responded.

“I know. It’s okay.”

“No. I took him from you because I thought I deserved you more. I was young and stupid and I’m so fucking sorry.”

Ravenna had not expected this from him, after so many years, and she wasn’t sure exactly what she should say next. She’d gotten the information she needed, she could really say anything she wanted at this point.

“It’s okay, Fetrin. I forgave the kid who did that a long time ago,” she told him, and she meant it now. She didn’t think they should’ve married regardless, they clearly weren’t all that compatible – but his mistake was a childish one, and they had been so young, so impulsive and immature.

He gave her a grateful smile, almost a pitiful one, and she tried to mirror the expression on his face as he stepped slightly closer to her. “I’m glad you invited me,” Fetrin told her, reaching out and tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “You look as beautiful as ever, by the way.”

She felt herself starting to get an anxious feeling again, unsure of how she would say no if he made a move on her. Ravenna forced the corners of her mouth to turn upwards into a smile as he gazed into her eyes, but she broke eye contact a moment later to take another sip of water. Her liquid courage had worn off, and now she was just drunk and nervous.

She took a deep breath, wetting her lips. She turned at the sound of someone coughing awfully close to her.

“Did you save me a dance?” Ravenna turned to find Cassian, hands poised behind his back, an expression she couldn’t identify on his face.

“Oh of course!” she mused, grateful for the interruption. She turned back to Fetrin. “Fetrin, this is Cassian, General of the Night Court. Cassian, meet Fetrin.”

The two males shook hands, a tentative smile on Cassian’s face. “Do you mind if I steal my dear friend for a dance? She saved my life recently, so I feel like it’s necessary,” Cassian told him.

“Be my guest,” Fetrin answered, tipping his head.

Cassian outstretched his hand to Ravenna.

Come dance with me.

She slipped her hand into his and followed him back out to the dancefloor.

You’re moving pretty confidently for someone who’s not the best dancer. Ravenna’s laugh echoed through his head and he couldn’t help but join. Finally he took her waist in his hands, pulling her into him. Her hands found his shoulders and they moved across the floor together, awkwardly at first, until Cassian let a giggling Ravenna take the lead.

“How’d it go?” he asked, once they were far enough away.

“Good, actually,” she said. “It was nice to talk with him.”

“He was getting a little handsy there for a second,” Cassian replied, a hint of warning in his tone.

“You are so overdramatic,” Ravenna teased, rolling her eyes. “Jealous maybe?”

Cassian raised an eyebrow. “No,” he insisted. “I’d never be jealous of an emissary,” She beamed up at him at those words, letting him twirl her again.

“Your wings are looking really good, by the way,” Ravenna added.

“Thank you. I can even use a sword again,” he said with a wink.

They traversed the floor a few more times, laughing drunkenly as they moved to the music. When the song finished, he pushed her back in Fetrin’s direction and stalked off, looking back once to watch her walk away with a smile on her face.

Ravenna stumbled back to Fetrin, the remnants of the smile Cassian had left her with still painting her features. He looked amused, waiting for her to return.

“You didn’t tell me you had a mate,” he said as she approached, brow furrowed ever so slightly.

She looked at him, with her head cocked sideways, her smile turning to confusion. “What do you mean?”

“The General,” Fetrin said plainly. “He’s your mate, no?”

Ravenna’s mouth went dry, her stomach dropping. “No, he’s not my mate,” she said, voice dull. Her mind was racing faster than she could keep up with, thoughts ricocheting off of other thoughts causing her head to throb. Fetrin didn’t know them. He was just mistaken. That had to be the explanation.

“Ravenna…” he said, hesitantly, the look on his face a mixture of fear and realization. “You didn’t know, did you?”

She shook her head. “I mean no, we’re not mates so there’s nothing for me to not know.”

His face read pure pity. “You have no reason to, but trust me on this. That is your mate. Whether either of you has realized it yet or not.”

“He has a girlfriend,” Ravenna replied, raising her eyebrows at the male.

Fetrin shrugged. “Do you think the mating bond cares?”

“I don’t know!” She felt like she had been punched in the gut, like all the air had left her. She wondered then, if Cassian knew. Or if Rhys or Azriel had sensed it already, had all known it before she had.

“Let me walk you home,” Fetrin said quietly, offering her his arm. She latched onto it and followed him out of the ballroom wordlessly. “I know it’s a lot to digest.”

“I’m not even 100% sure I believe you,” she said. “I mean it’s just your opinion.”

“I’ve seen lots of mating bonds take shape over the years. I saw the way you looked at each other, the way you fit together. It’s inevitable.”

“What am I supposed to do about it? Break up his relationship for my own benefit?”

He pursed his lips, shoving his hands in his pockets as they walked. “It’s a sticky situation, for sure. Time will tell.”

They walked the rest of the way into town in silence, Ravenna trying to focus on walking in a straight line. She had already not been able to handle her feelings for Cassian, but she had thought they were just feelings. A mating bond was different, and she couldn’t help but wonder if that was why his voice in her head felt so right. She couldn’t process it, and she briefly wondered where Mor was, as she hadn’t seen her since the beginning of the night. She doubted Mor would know what to say, but she felt like she needed to tell someone, to see if they agreed with Fetrin. Maybe she looked stupid, and it was obvious to everyone else.

They made it to the street below the House of Wind and Ravenna turned back to Fetrin. “This is where I leave,” she said. “I’m really glad you came.”

“Me too,” he told her, moving his hair from his eyes. “I’m sorry if I told you something you weren’t ready to hear yet.”

“It’s okay, maybe I needed to hear it,” Ravenna replied. “Thank you Fetrin.”

Before he could reply, she winnowed above the wards that guarded the House, and made a rough landing in the courtyard.

Epiphany Masterlist

#acotar #acotar fic #acotar oc #cassian acotar #acotar angst #cassian angst #acotar fanfiction #cassian x oc #cassian x reader #acotar smut #cassian fluff #sjm #sjm universe #maasverse

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witchysquirrel · 28 days

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Epiphany

Chapter Eleven

Ravenna threw herself into anything that kept her from thinking too hard about Cassian. She’d spent most of the week leading up to Starfall in and out of Rhys’s study, and the library, mentally preparing to see Fetrin again. And avoiding Cassian. She’d been unable to shake the way she was feeling about him, so she decided it was better to just shove all thoughts aside instead, at least for right now. Her plan had been working quite well, until the Friday before the Ball.

The healer had been in the library, losing herself in a book for the prior four hours that had passed since she’d arrived. When she ran out of positions to be in that didn’t cause her neck to ache, Ravenna closed her novel and rose to stretch her limbs. She rolled her neck, then decided to make her way back to her room to steam her gown before the following night's festivities. Upon realizing she hadn’t set foot outside for the entire day, she changed course and decided she’d allow herself to watch the sun continue to make its slow descent from the rooftop of the House.

She yawned as she ascended the stairs to the roof, the well-manicured turf and asphalt of the training ring coming into view. Ravenna inhaled the warm evening air, the sky just beginning to turn a shade of pale pink, and took a seat on the top row of one of the bleachers that sat adjacent to the stairs she’d just come from. She closed her eyes, enjoying the breeze that circulated so high in the mountains; something about it felt like home to her. Ravenna watched the sun sink further and further, the sky turning from pink, to purple, to periwinkle, to blue, to black and sprinkled with stars. When the sky had finally gone dark, the lamplights that surrounded the training ring flickered on and illuminated the darkness with fluorescent light. She closed her eyes one more time to breathe in the evergreen air before heading inside, only to be jolted back to awareness all at once.

“Whatcha doin’?”

Ravenna’s eyes shot open to find Cassian leaning against one of the lamp posts at the far end of the ring, giving her a small smile. She imagined she turned a bright shade of pink at the sight of him in only his leathers, his shirtless chest illuminated by the light above him. She swallowed, trying to ignore the flood of thoughts and feelings that broke the dam she’d put up over the past week at the sight of him.

“I was watching the sunset,” she replied softly. “What are you doing?”

“Came up for a nighttime training session. It’s been the only time I have the energy.”

Ravenna nodded, wetting her lips with her tongue. “Have you used a sword yet?”

“I’ve held one. Lifted, carried, ran with one,” Cassian replied, lackadaisical as he made his way to the small armory cage at the other end of the turf. “Haven’t actually used one yet, like to fight with,” he finished, as he chose a hefty Obsidian sword from the wall and shifted its weight in his hands. Ravenna watched him carefully, leaning back on her palms and observing his wings when he turned his back to her for a moment. They looked like they were healing perfectly, although she could still make out the scars she’d created mending the skin back together.

“Bring it on, then,” Ravenna said a moment later, rising and heading for the armory herself. She’d gulped down whatever feelings threatened to spill from her head, focused now on the fact that Cassian had been trying to train and get back to his pre-injury level. Cassian raised an eyebrow at her, but smiled so radiantly that Ravenna had to look away. She perused the weapons on the wall, settling on a more slender, lightweight Obsidian and moved to meet him in the center of the training ring.

“I didn’t know healers even knew how to hold a sword!” Cassian jabbed.

“Ha-ha. Very funny,” Ravenna answered, slicing a diagonal line through the air dramatically as she approached. “I happen to be very talented with this thing.”

“Let’s see it,” he dared, laughing a little and widening his stance. She lunged, and his sword caught hers as it fell, sending her balance the opposite direction. Ravenna recovered quickly, and the two began to spar as night continued to fall on Velaris. Ravenna thanked the gods her body could count on the muscle memory of hand to hand combat she’d learned so long ago, long abandoned unless she really needed to defend herself without magic. It also helped that Cassian was not at full strength, otherwise she might’ve grown tired after twenty minutes.

After a good half hour more, Ravenna wielded a particularly hefty swing in Cassian’s direction and was surprised to hear a grunt and a thud as he hit the ground. She caught her breath, but Cassian stayed crouched with his head down, and her heart dropped.

“Are you okay?” she asked, dropping her sword and moving towards him. When she had nearly reached him, face etched with worry as she went to examine his wings, he turned around faster than she could comprehend and tackled her to the ground in one swift motion. She squealed as they fell, both of them laughing like children upon impact.

“I thought you were hurt!” Ravenna protested, smacking his chest from where she lay encompassed by his wings. Cassian flinched slightly, faking shock at her assault, but continued laughing. Their eyes met for a moment and Ravenna felt that familiar sensation begin to spread through her chest, down somewhere deep within her where she felt exposed, as if he could see right through her. Her smile faded as she began to panic once more, that feeling of vulnerability that so terrified her and threatened to destroy their friendship rising in her throat. She pulled away, and pretended to be shocked by what time it was.

“Oh shit,” she said, pushing off of him and rising to her feet. “It’s so late. I still need to steam my gown before tomorrow.”

“Yeah, yeah. You should,” he said quietly, as she re-racked her sword and made for the door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Cass,” she called, looking back one more time before she disappeared back down the stairs and into the House. Cassian remained, still sitting on the pitch with his elbows resting on his knees, staring at the door she’d left through.

“See you then.”

Ravenna was out of breath by the time she made it back to her bedroom, closing and locking the door behind her. She tried to slow down her breathing as she started the process of steaming her gown for the following day. As she hung the black silk from a knob in her bathroom, she thought about everything she’d been feeling and had just felt. It became very evident to her, as she filled the steamer with tap water, that she could not continue to ignore the way she felt about Cassian. She was scared to ruin their friendship, yes, but she was coming to the conclusion that avoiding him so intensely was also ruining their friendship. She couldn’t go on like this forever.

Ravenna decided she was content with coming to that realization tonight, and took a few more deep breaths. Her mind shifted to the most imminent threat now, the fact that she had less than twenty four hours until she would see Fetrin again. She was unsure how to feel about it, now that it was so close. Instead she focused on the wrinkles in the gown, more specifically, on making them non-existent. This was a mind-numbing enough task that eventually her heart rate began to slow, and by the time she finished she was exhausted and more than ready to fall into her bed.

When Ravenna woke the next morning, there was a split second of bliss before she remembered that tonight was Starfall and she would be attending the Ball in an attempt to sweet talk her ex-fiance. It all sounded like something Ravenna might read in one of her novels, not something that would actually happen in her ordinary life. But here she was. She still stayed in bed as long as was virtually possible, before she hauled herself up.

She rose from bed slowly, and drew a warm bath for herself, tossing a few lavender sprigs and herbs in with the hot water. It was still early enough, and she wanted to at least try to enjoy her morning without the crushing weight of anxiety in her chest. When she was sufficiently clean and bathed, she wrapped herself in a towel and sat at the mirror to comb her hair. The black locks had been tangled and the de-tangling process took quite a bit of effort. After about ten minutes of combing, her dark hair fell in tendrils down her back, still damp.

She surveyed herself in the mirror once more, admiring the way her features looked when she was completely clean-faced, free of makeup or alteration. Her Fae-ness was almost more evident in the natural slopes and lines of her face, the thick black lashes that framed soft, round eyes. Ravenna dressed in a simple maroon tunic and leathers, heading for the dining room to get breakfast.

Ravenna found Mor at the dining table alone, thumbing through some sort of magazine and eating a banana.

“Hey sister,” Ravenna said, tousling Mor’s hair as she passed to take the seat across from her with a blueberry scone in hand.

“Ravenna! Just who I wanted to see,” she mused, turning towards the healer with wide, brown eyes. “We should get ready for the Ball together.”

“Yes please! I’m going to need help doing something with my hair. I’m not very good at any of that,” Ravenna replied, running her fingers through the ends of her curls.

“I’m not either, but maybe if we combine forces we’ll put out an acceptable finished product,” Mor replied with a smile. “How are you feeling about it all?”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m excited about the Fetrin side of things,” she said, taking a chunk of muffin and popping it in her mouth. “But I’m honestly kind of looking forward to dressing up and looking pretty.”

Mor smiled again. “I never thought I’d hear you say such a thing! Don’t say people never change,” she replied. Ravenna rolled her eyes playfully and continued in on her breakfast. “Well why don’t you come to my room around 4:00 and we can get ready together and then go over there?”

“I’ll see you at 4:00 then, champagne or wine?” Ravenna asked.

“Mmmm…. Let’s do champagne. Tamer, so you can still focus. You’re gonna love it though, seriously. I was over at the hall this morning and the floral arrangement is ridiculous.”

Ravenna laughed as she finished the rest of her muffin, pushing up from the table once more. “See you at 4:00 then.”

At 3:57, Ravenna made her way across the House to Mor’s suite on the opposite end, two bottles of champagne and a luxury gown in tow. When she arrived, she found that Mor already had a record spinning at full volume on the huge wooden record player atop her coffee table, next to which was an open bottle of gin. Ravenna’s mood lifted almost instantly, and she joined her friend, popping the first bottle of champagne and pouring them each a glass.

The females perched in front of the expansive bathroom mirror that framed the double-sink vanity, applying various rouges and glitters. Mor opted for a scarlet red lip, while Ravenna stuck with more of a black cherry color. The more the bubbles spread through her chest, the more confident Ravenna felt. Mor had helped her to braid her hair back into a neat plait that crowned her waves. By the time she was ready to put on her gown, she was sure she’d catch Fetrin’s eye immediately. Rhys had assured her he was, in fact, planning to make an appearance. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to have known that or not. Fortunately, after her second glass of champagne, she had nearly forgotten how nervous she was.

Once she had her gown on and zipped, cinched in the places she wanted it to hug her body more, she zipped Mor up, and they were on their way. Mor wore a stunning crimson gown that was every bit her style, yet somehow elevated even further. Her golden hair was tucked nicely into a low bun that Ravenna was sure would come undone by her fifth drink tonight.

Rhysand and Azriel, who had offered to fly the girls to the Ball, met them on the balcony. Ravenna resisted the urge to ask where Cassian was, and doubly resisted the urge to provoke his voice in her head. She knew he would be there, she just hoped he would be nearby in case something happened, she explained to the voice in her head. Ravenna flew with Rhys, who she scolded for the turbulent ride that made her head spin at times.

“Remember, we’ll always be around,” Rhys said to her as they coasted. “I’ll introduce myself to him personally as well.”

“Thanks,” she answered. “I’ll be okay, I think, honestly. One more drink and I’ll be a social butterfly.”

“Cassian and Az will be keeping a constant eye out regardless,” Rhys said, glancing down at her.

“What?” she said, furrowing her brows at the High Lord above her.

“What?” he repeated.

“You made a face,” Ravenna replied.

“I did not make a face,” Rhys answered coolly. “I’m just telling you that Cassian will be there, he’s just not with us right now.”

Ravenna didn’t respond for a moment, looking out at the sky around them. “I didn’t ask,” she answered. “But thanks, anyway.”

They landed smoothly, and Ravenna only stumbled slightly upon impact. She straightened out her skirts, smoothing the gown against her legs. The fabric hugged the fullness of her hips comfortably, cascading up to hold the weight of her breasts up, while the rest of the open back was covered with the sheer cape imbued with rhinestones. She took a deep breath and took Rhysand’s outstretched arm, allowing him to lead her into the hall with Mor and Azriel right behind them. She held her head high, allowing a smile to grace her lips. Rhys led them to the bar, a move that Ravenna appreciated deeply.

The healer ordered a glass of wine to sip on, the last ingredient she needed in order to have the confidence to do what she needed to. Mor hadn’t overexaggerated when she said the hall had been decorated beautifully. There were marvelous strings of lights illuminating the cathedral-like room, the entrance adorned with an archway of flora and fauna of greens and whites and golds. It was beautiful. She decided to make her way out to the balcony at the end of the room, as the sun was setting quickly behind the mountains and she wanted to catch it from such an amazing space.

She rested against the railing of the balcony, admiring the sun on her face as it made its departure behind Velaris. Ravenna continued sipping her wine, focused on enjoying the change from day to night that made Starfall so magnificent.

I like the gown.

Ravenna turned from where she stood at the rail of the balcony, her heart picking up speed in her chest and her head feeling the rush of the champagne that made Cassian’s voice in her head sound like it was dripping honey. He stood before her now, in a sleek, all black suit, adorned with gold. His hair was half tied back, wings looming behind him. He smelled like he had just stepped out of the shower, freshly shaven, like clean laundry and evergreen. His brown eyes widened as their eyes met, and once again, she watched Cassian’s gaze drift down her body and then back up to her face, an almost glazed look on his face. She’d never say it out loud, but she loved the way he was looking at her.

Thanks. You look nice too.

Ravenna almost felt lightheaded, looking up at him, his scent becoming overwhelming, intoxicating. His face was illuminated by the faintest glow of the moon that was beginning to replace the sun, and she could see the stars starting to freckle the dark sky behind him. He looked beautiful. She hoped she hadn’t accidentally said that into his mind too.

Cassian opened his mouth to say something, only to be interrupted by someone Ravenna had not seen in about 30 years, and had not spoken to in centuries.

“Ravenna Annric,” he breathed, and suddenly she felt as if she’d been transported to a different time, looking up into eyes darker than her own, jet black hair that showed no hint of change from when they were seventeen. She let it shake her for a split second, until she blinked and started playing the role she’d been practicing for.

“Fetrin?” she gasped, eyes wide, as if she’d thought she’d never see him again (she hadn’t). He leaned forward to embrace her, and she fought the urge to get lost in his scent and the memories it triggered.

“It’s good to see you again,” he breathed. His picture perfect smile revealed the lines near his eyes that hadn’t been there the last time they’d spoken. He looked like he’d grown up at some point. Ravenna made sure to blink slowly, looking up at him with round eyes and soft lashes.

“You too,” Ravenna mused. “I thought I’d never see you again… after the way we left things. It was a shot in the dark that I sent that invitation.” She turned to introduce Cassian, but found that he was no longer next to her.

“I’m glad you did,” Fetrin answered, looking at her intently. Ravenna sipped her wine once more, for another boost of courage. She sensed that she did have the upper hand in this dynamic; that perhaps he felt ashamed of the reason she had left him.

“Well, welcome to the Night Court,” she said, resting a hand on his arm and guiding him back inside. “I’d love to hear more about what you’ve been up to, after we get you a drink.” He allowed her to lead him through the glass doors from the balcony into the greater room. Ravenna scanned the room quickly, but still could not place Cassian, though she saw Rhys chatting with a group of Winter Court officials across the throng of Fae.

Ravenna exchanged her half empty glass of wine for two champagne flutes from a nearby waiter, handing one to Fetrin.

“To reconnecting with old friends,” she said, raising her glass to him. He tipped his head to her, clinking his glass to hers, and they both sipped in silence for a moment. She met his eyes over her glass, looking away again quickly.

“So what have you been up to all these years?” Fetrin asked as he scanned the room. “I never knew where exactly you went after you left.” His voice grew quieter towards the end.

“I became a healer for the Night Court army,” Ravenna answered. “I’ve mostly been here ever since, healing for the High Lord and his battalions. I’ll introduce you later.”

“Of course,” Fetrin breathed, “healing always made you shine.”

She smiled up at him. “I was made for it, I think.” He grinned back at her, then let his eyes wander, taking her in from head to toe. Ravenna pretended she didn’t notice.

“What about you?” she asked. “What have you been doing?”

“I do a lot of diplomatic work right now,” he answered, looking around again and then leaning in closer to her ear. “They just offered me Lead Emissary.”

Ravenna pretended to be surprised and utterly wowed by this admission, gushing over his accomplishment. “I’m so proud of you, that is so exciting! I always knew you’d get it.”

“I don’t even know how I got the position, honestly. There were so many other great candidates.” Ravenna knew how he got the position, as the outgoing Lead Emissary was Fetrin’s father.

“No one is quite as good as you, Fetrin,” she cooed, leaning into him as he puffed his chest out a little more. Ravenna was almost shocked at how easy it was. Just by chance, Ravenna caught Rhys’s eye across the room at that moment, and he moved to make his way through the crowd of High Fae in their finery. She patiently awaited his arrival, sipping on the champagne she still held.

A/N: I tried to make this chapter a little longer and was going to keep going but decided I need to break it up a little because I've been writing for too long tonight LOL. Do we prefer shorter or longer?? Let me know. I also kinda wanna share my vision for the looks for the Ball because ugh so cute. Anyways, enjoy <3

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#acotar oc #acotar fic #acotar #cassian acotar #acotar angst #cassian angst #acotar fanfiction #cassian x oc #cassian x reader #cassian fluff #cassian #acosf #cassian friends to lovers #friends to lovers

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witchysquirrel · 29 days

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fictional men who have the “it’s okay to murder people but it’s never okay to disrespect women” energy>>>>>>>>

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witchysquirrel · 29 days

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Epiphany

Chapter Ten

Ravenna walked home, the chill of the darkened air urging her to wrap her arms around herself despite the alcohol that warmed her blood. Her mind continued to whirl as she went, the phantom weight of Cassian’s hands on her hips still lingering. She wanted to ignore the way she’d felt, standing so close to him. Feeling his breath. She felt like she needed to run in the opposite direction and not look back, though her body told her she should run back to that corridor, find him again. It felt in her mind like their friendship was on a thin line, and if she got any closer to him, there’d be no going back.

No, she couldn’t go any further, and the voice that occupied her head easily convinced her so. It told her that she didn’t deserve someone as good as Cassian was, that he’d never see her as more than the friend she’d been for hundreds of years. She repeated to herself that she was just being weird about things, overblowing emotions, taking things too seriously. Ravenna thought about Celeste and the way Cassian looked at her. Suddenly she felt guilty for even allowing Cassian’s words, his hands, to affect her at all. That did the trick in making Ravenna feel bad enough to likely never touch Cassian ever again, and to internally scold herself for the thoughts she’d had about him.

So she continued her trudge home, only stumbling a few times on stray rocks as she went. When her mind felt this conflicted, it often went completely blank, and Ravenna thought about nothing until she reached her bedroom within the warmth of the House. She bathed, continuing her rumination as the hot water thawed her from the outside in. She’d never felt like this for anyone before, and hadn’t felt it for Cassian until that day she’d thought he might die. Or maybe she’d always felt this way for Cassian, but had determined it was a passing thought that would never come to fruition. Maybe she had written herself off as unworthy, the same way she was doing now. Maybe she was worried about repeating the absolute destruction that had come from the other times she had felt she loved someone.

Her mind went blank once more as she closed her eyes, sinking beneath the water.

A few days later, Rhys sent Azriel off to mail Fetrin’s “personal invitation” to the Ball, addressed in Ravenna’s delicate script and sealed with a Night Court signet. Now all they could do was wait and see if he showed up in two weeks time. Ravenna remained quite sure he would, if he still felt as deeply for her as he had when they were younger.

When she thought back to young Fetrin, she could picture the beautiful, dark-haired young Fae that Kai had introduced her to on her first night in the Dawn Court. He was tall, and well-spoken, never a wrinkle to be found on his trousers. Kai contrasted Fetrin perfectly, with golden, sandy hair and dimples that showed whenever his face moved. He’d been more care-free, rougher around the edges than Fetrin. Ravenna had valued both more than anything. At one point she had thought Fetrin really loved her, that he really had wanted to marry her and give her a life after she’d experienced such loss. He’d written her letters from faraway places in the wake of Kai’s death, making sure she was okay, letting her pour her heart out. He’d send her small parcels of books from ancient libraries, trinkets from antique shops in Melisande with names Ravenna had never heard of. When Fetrin returned to Dawn, Ravenna filled the void of Kai never returning with her friend who had come back to her alive and in one piece. When they decided to get engaged, she thought she’d never been happier.

As her mind continued to spiral, she could feel the palms of her hands beginning to heat, as the betrayal burned in her chest at the memories. She took a deep breath, swallowing hard and willing the faint, blue glow to leave her hands.

Doing okay?

Ravenna was grateful for the sound of Cassian’s voice in her mind at that moment, brushing away the thoughts that had begun to consume her the more she focused on them.

Yeah. They sent Fetrin his invitation.

Ravenna felt a pang of disgust from Cassian, which made her smile to herself. I can’t say I’m excited for his visit.

Me neither. Ravenna replied. It’s a lot of awful memories. But it is what it is.

You say the word and I’ll kick his ass. No questions asked.

Sounds good to me.

She took another deep breath, the tension in her chest releasing and the glow leaving her hands. Ravenna couldn’t ignore the effect Cassian had on her. She wanted to see him now, to apologize for being weird at Rita’s the other night, or to explain everything she’d been thinking. Unfortunately she’d still had too much to think about.

Her dress for Starfall had arrived from the seamstress that afternoon, and hung in her open armoire glittering in the golden light from the adjacent window. It was even more beautiful than she remembered it, and she found herself excited to get dressed up for the first time in a long time. If she thought only about that, and not about seeing Fetrin, she was rather excited for Starfall.

Ravenna’s parents had been lower level Night Court officials, and had often urged her to pursue a political career once she reached adulthood. They’d wanted her to be powerful, in charge, the center of everything; things that Ravenna did not value. Her mother in particular found every opportunity to make connections with families that were wealthier than their own, seeming to view those around them as stepping stones. When her parents discovered just how powerful Ravenna’s magic was, her pension for healing, they hadn’t hesitated to send her to the best mentor they could find, even when it required uprooting their daughter and sending her to another court by herself. She’d often thought it had much to do with exploiting her abilities, using them to climb as high as they possibly could. Motivation that had led to her engagement to Fetrin, decisions Ravenna felt had been made for her.

When she’d finally decided she could make her own choices, that her power was hers and hers alone, she resolved that she’d rather never deal in political scheming again. Unfortunately for her, she’d befriended the High Lord of the Night Court, and it was hard to avoid the politics that consumed their lives on a near daily basis. Ravenna had never been much of a fighter, opting more often for peacemaking or verbal de-escalation. She’d grown used to violence, heavy weapons, massive bloodshed. But what she really loved was the art and science of making things whole again.

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#acotar #acotar fic #acotar oc #cassian acotar #acotar angst #cassian angst #acotar fanfiction #cassian x oc #cassian x reader #acotar smut

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witchysquirrel · 2 months

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Epiphany

Chapter Nine

The next morning, Ravenna went for a walk through Velaris, admiring the city she’d been happy to return to. It had rained overnight, the streets now sparkling in the morning sun that was beginning to shine brightly on the pavement. Ravenna was reminded of the morning walks she’d taken in the Dawn Court, shimmering sunrises of orange and pink and blue. Sunlight reflecting off of the perpetual dew on the plants. She could see Kai’s hand in hers, feel his smile in the sunlight that warmed her face. She looked down again to find it was now Fetrin’s hand in hers, leading her across the stone path over the stream. She could almost see the glint of the ruby on her finger, sparkling in the morning light. Ravenna winced as the roaring in her head resumed, as if on command, to ruin her walk. She tried to shake the image of the Dawn Court from her mind, as if that would silence the thoughts that swarmed her. She rushed back to the Town House where she was due to meet Cassian for his mid-morning session. He was already there when Ravenna arrived, stretched back lazily, resting on his palms. She quickly scanned his bare torso for injuries, coming up empty.

“How was Windhaven?” Ravenna asked while his back was still to her. He turned at the sound of her voice, breaking into a smile that painted his face with light.

“It was alright,” he said, contentedly. “Just the usual political squabbles running rampant in my absence.”

“Of course,” she said, frowning as she crossed the room to examine his wings.

She began removing the thin dressings that covered Cassian’s wings, working from top to bottom. He stiffened slightly at her touch, relaxing a moment later. She continued working anyways, preparing the solution she used to cleanse his wings each day. He was strong enough now that he could hold up his wings while she worked on them, rather than needing to lie flat. It made things easier for both parties, and made Ravenna happy that he was progressing.

“Which gown did you end up choosing?” he asked.

“The one I tried on after you left,” she replied. “It's black.”

“So not the red one, then?” he asked, turning his head and raising an eyebrow at her.

Ravenna rolled her eyes at him. “No, not the red one.” She could tell he was about to shoot back a smartass response, so she cut him off. “Stop moving,” she said, turning his head back around with her hand. She dipped a bit of cotton into the solution and raised it to his right wing, near the nape of his neck. She made light contact with the skin, gently cleaning, as she normally did. He stiffened entirely, then coughed as she broke contact to pick up more solution. Ravenna dragged the cotton ball along the contour of that right wing, and Cassian sucked in a breath, his wing almost twitching under her touch.

“Are you okay?” Ravenna asked, coming around the table.

Cassian was flushed, a hand scratching his forehead. “It doesn’t hurt. I think the… sensation is just returning,” he muttered, shaking his wings out.

She looked at him, puzzled. “Okay… I just need to put the new dressings on,” Ravenna said, tilting her head.

He peeked at her through his fingers. “They’re just sensitive,” he said. “Go quick.”

Ravenna returned to his back, redressing the scarred areas as quickly as possible. He squeezed his eyes shut the entire time, relieved when she was finished. She was relieved to be done as well, he was acting weird. Cassian left very quickly after that, and Ravenna cleaned the table, heading back into town once she’d finished.

Since Madja had allowed Cassian to go to Windhaven, Ravenna gave him the go ahead when Rhys and Mor rallied the troops in pursuit of Rita’s the following weekend. They all worked hard that Friday afternoon, ready to relax again. Ravenna sat in the corner of Rhysand’s study, observing the strategy board littered with sheets of correspondence the High Lord and his General puzzled over with furrowed brows.

“We really just need to know where Dawn stands,” Rhys said, sighing. “If I know Thesan like I think I do, I think we’re in the clear. But we need confirmation.” He looked at Ravenna.

“As long as Fetrin is there, I’ll get what we need,” Ravenna stated.

“How do we know he’ll come?” Cassian asked.

“We invite him personally,” Rhys answered, smiling. His gaze shifted to Ravenna, who shrugged.

Cassian cut him off. “Don’t make her do that.”

“I can’t make her do anything,” Rhys said, shrugging again despite Cassian’s protest. Ravenna remained expressionless, but nodded.

“Don’t worry about it,” the healer said. “It’s done.” And she turned to leave without looking at either of them. She didn’t want to speak of Fetrin any longer, and stalked off to find Mor to begin prepping for a night of drinking and dancing to drown out her thoughts.

The females drank champagne while they fussed in front of the mirror, a full bottle drained by the time they were primped and fluffed to satisfaction and the sun had begun to set. Ravenna felt the warmth of the bubbles she’d downed too quickly spread through her chest and grinned at the feeling.

When they finally poured onto the streets of Velaris, alight against the night sky, Ravenna had forgotten about anything else that had been upsetting her that day. Mor pulled her along, their arms linked, until they made it to Rita’s. Music was already pouring from the building, thronged with young Fae celebrating the end of war times. Ravenna was happy to be one of them for the night, celebrating life as they knew it currently.

They found Cassian, Azriel, and Rhys at the bar, and Rhys immediately ordered them each a drink, in addition to a round of tequila shots for everyone who had decided to come to Rita’s that night.

The friends cheers’d their shots and threw them back, an array of reactions painting their faces.

“No Celeste tonight?” Mor asked, and Cassian shook his head.

“She has to be up early tomorrow morning. To open the bakery.”

“How’s it feel to be back in the world again?” Az asked Cassian, punching his shoulder. Cassian laughed and chugged half of the drink he’d been holding.

“Amazing,” he sighed, leaning an elbow against the bar. “All thanks to my favorite healer.” He threw an arm around Ravenna, squeezing her. He smelled like whiskey and cinnamon.

Ravenna laughed, looking up at him. “You can truly never say I’ve never done anything nice for you,” she said, sipping her drink.

You’re too good to me.

Suddenly his arm around her felt heavy, her mind buzzing. She felt the urge to lighten things, to resist. Well I can’t just let you die, can I?

His laugh echoed around the walls of her mind, a smile evident in his eyes, though Ravenna had pulled away. I suppose not.

Ravenna sipped her drink hastily, willing it to erase the way Cassian’s voice had made her feel. He looked so relaxed, happy even, one hand in his pocket, listening to his friends as he brought his drink to his lips. She watched him every so often, over her glass as she sipped until it was empty and the warmth in her chest had spread to her face and made her mind feel lighter.

At some point Mor had grabbed Ravenna’s hands and pulled her to the dance floor. The two spun each other around, laughing like school girls and seeing whose skirts could spin best. She forgot about Cassian’s voice for a moment, long enough to note that she hadn’t thought about it in a while, which in turn caused her to think about it while she danced.

Ravenna was drunk enough now, after a glass of faerie wine, that she had to pee badly. She told Mor too loudly where she was going, and floated through the ever-growing crowd at Rita’s, to the bathroom. Although her face felt numb and she had to focus on walking in a straight line, she did her business without issue.

She stared at herself too long in the mirror while she washed her hands, dark eyes that almost looked black staring back at her under thick lashes. When she finished, she hurried out to get back to dancing, and ran directly into a wall, which she used to keep herself from falling. The wall chuckled, uprighting Ravenna with strong hands at her waist.

She looked up and directly into hazel-brown eyes clouded with intoxication. “Oh hi,” Ravenna hiccuped. “Where did you come from?”

“I was already standing here. You ran into me,” Cassian responded, laughing again.

“Oh,” she laughed, hiccuping again. “Well good.” Ravenna blinked at him and he smiled down at her. She realized she could feel his breath this close to him, the way his body felt warm under her hands. She glanced at her palms on his chest, remembering that his hands were still resting at her waist, keeping her steady.

“You’re so cute when you’re drunk,” Cassian said into her ear, the chuckle he'd let out causing her to shiver. She paused for a moment, until the pink had faded slightly from her cheeks.

“Only when I’m drunk?” Ravenna replied before she had time to run it through whatever filter she had left tonight. She wasn’t sure why she’d said it, now that it was hanging in the open air between them.

Cassian’s brows raised ever so slightly at her response, gaze lowering to the deep brown eyes that looked up at him, challenging. Ravenna was usually fairly playful, especially in regards to their alcohol adjacent exchanges. But there was a hint of seriousness in her tone this time, and she was forcing him to cut through his drunkenness to find the right answer.

After another beat, he inhaled, and said, “Also when you’re cleaning a wound and you say ‘here comes the stingy bit’, and when you laugh so hard that everyone else in the room starts laughing too.”

Ravenna hadn’t been prepared for that answer. She’d been expecting him to brush it off and tease her, or avoid it altogether, not for him to make her feel like he'd seen through her all the way to her soul. She felt vulnerable in a different way, like she was standing at the edge of a cliff and one wrong move would send her plummeting to the ground below. The butterflies that had made their home in her belly the second his hands had touched her hips exploded into her chest, eating away any appropriate response. She bit the inside of her cheek, laughing nervously. She couldn’t meet his eyes any longer.

“Goodnight Cassian,” she said gently, and released herself from his grip, turning to walk back down the main corridor to find Mor and tell her she was going to head home.

Epiphany Masterlist

#acotar #acotar angst #acotar fanfiction #acotar fic #acotar oc #cassian acotar #cassian angst #cassian x oc #cassian x reader

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witchysquirrel · 2 months

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Epiphany

Chapter Eight

“Good morning Sunshine,” Mor chirped from the kitchen, sipping from a steaming mug. Ravenna welcomed the sound of her voice. The roaring in her head had returned after she’d fled Cassian, and she was grateful for a distraction.

“Morning,” she replied, pouring coffee from the carafe on the counter. “What are you up to today?”

“Thought I’d visit Cass, but other than that I have no plans,” Mor answered.

“So you’d have time to help me find something to wear for Starfall?” Ravenna asked, sipping from the mug she held, peering at Mor over the top. Mor practically squealed in reply, gushing about colors she just HAD to see Ravenna in and scolding her for not having picked a dress yet. Ravenna laughed, having anticipated her friend’s enthusiastic response. Mor and Ravenna were like two sides of the same coin, often the only females around all of those high powered males, and that bound them more than anything. The night at Rita’s that they became friends, they’d both been in similar places in life, and had no problem with partying all night, singing, dancing, and watching the sunrise before stumbling home.

As she stood in Mor’s room, in front of her full length mirror, Ravenna was appreciative of her friend. However, the first gown she’d chosen for Ravenna was pink. Ravenna hated it the minute she put it on, though Mor insisted it was gorgeous. Ravenna laughed, looking back at her reflection that somehow looked paper white and washed out against the light pink silk of the dress.

“I’m not wearing this,” Ravenna said, laughing as she turned in the mirror, a disgusted look on her face. “Maybe I should’ve specified the colors I feel are acceptable.”

“Fine. But it feels very Dawn Court, if you ask me.” Ravenna flushed. Mor was right, Fetrin would love the soft pink she’d picked.

“He won’t care what color the dress is,” Ravenna answered, shaking her head. “As long as I’m the one wearing it.” Mor grinned widely at her friend, admiring her attitude.

“Fine. No pink,” Mor replied, shuffling through the expansive collection in her closet, humming a song Ravenna didn’t know.

“Can I ask you something?” Ravenna ventured after a moment. She sat against the wall across from the mirror while Mor shuffled through dresses, shucking the ones she didn’t want to the side.

“Of course,” Mor answered, continuing her quest.

“Cassian spoke to me,” she said. “In my head. And it felt… weird.”

“Weird how?”

“I don’t know. It just felt different. Nothing like it ever has when I’ve heard Rhys in my head. Or anyone else for that matter.”

She gave Ravenna a look, then pulled three dresses off of the rack. She shucked two of them onto the hook next to the mirror, tossing a third one at Ravenna.

“Like good different?” Mor asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Not necessarily,” Ravenna answered, standing and holding the dress she’d caught out in front of her. “Something just felt weird inside.

“Yeah, that’s called being horny, it happens to everyone,” Mor quipped. “Put the dress on!” Ravenna laughed, but she wasn’t sure that was what she’d felt. She just didn’t know what she had felt. Maybe Mor was right, and she was just thinking too hard.

This was a midnight blue gown, with a bustier top and small off the shoulder straps. From the bustier, it fell into a stream of skirts that billowed to the floor. She pulled it up her body and over her shoulders, letting Mor zip the back up. Her hair was still thrown up in a very messy bun, exposing her collarbones. Ravenna found the dress pretty, albeit plain for her taste.

Mor squealed again. “I haven’t seen you in a gown in decades,” she mused. Ravenna’s cheeks heated at Mor’s words, realizing she was right. She hadn’t been to a ball in what felt like forever, and Cassian had commented on it too.

“I like it, but it’s simple,” Ravenna said with a small smile. “I want to try the others too.”

Mor nodded briskly, helping her unzip and get into the next gown. This one appeared to be significantly different from the last. “Just humor me on this one,” Mor chimed, a mischievous laugh bubbling in her throat as she helped Ravenna pull up the straps.

Ravenna turned to see the dress in the mirror, and nearly didn’t recognize herself. “Oh wait!” Mor shouted, reaching for Ravenna again, hands outstretched. She undid the bun that had been holding Ravenna’s hair up, unfurling her long, black curls. “There we go,” Mor said, stepping back to admire her handiwork with a smile. Ravenna surveyed herself in the mirror once more.

The dress was crimson. Like blood rubies. It had small off the shoulder straps that came into a corseted top. The bodice of the dress overtly pushed up her chest, revealing cleavage that hadn’t seen the light of day in years. From there the dress cascaded down her body, form fitted and hugging the curve of her hips tightly. A slit ran from mid-thigh to the floor.

“This is absolutely ridiculous!” Ravenna yelled at her, half laughing as she tried to shove her breasts further into the dress to no avail.

“It’s hot!” Mor yelled back, pouting. “I know you would never wear it, but think of Fetrin’s face seeing you in this!”

“Mor? Are you back here?” A voice came from beyond the confines of Mor’s room.

“Yup, in here!” she called back nonchalantly as she returned her attention to Ravenna and the dress.

“Mor!” Ravenna hissed at her, incredulous, smacking her with the back of her hand repeatedly as footsteps grew nearer.

“What!?” Mor hissed back, trying to block Ravenna’s hand. Ravenna didn’t want anyone seeing her in this dress, but she’d run out of time as the handle turned and Cassian entered. Her cheeks must have matched the crimson of the dress, she could feel them growing hotter and hotter as Cassian’s eyes met hers… and then traveled down her body, pausing at her chest, roving over her hips and thighs, and then finding her eyes again. He bit the inside of his cheek.

“Playing dress up in here?” he asked, a hint of a smirk on his face now as he met Ravenna’s eyes again. He held her gaze for a beat longer, and then shifted to Mor.

“Yes, as a matter of fact we are,” Mor replied. “Want to help us pick Ravenna’s gown for Starfall?”

So this is what you get to do while Madja does my wound care?

Ravenna had already felt vulnerable standing there in front of him in this obscene dress, meeting his eyes after they hadn’t spoken in a week, but hearing him in her head had all but stripped her naked. The caress of his voice against the shields of her mind left her flustered, but she forced herself to swallow.

Yes. I was hoping not to see you today, actually, since it is my day off from you.

He faked a hurt face. “As tempting as that sounds,” he said. “I told Az I’d go to Windhaven with him.”

“Windhaven?” Ravenna asked out loud, furrowing a brow at him. She turned to Mor, who only rolled her eyes and began hanging the first dress back up.

“Yes, Windhaven. I have business to attend to,” he finished, looking back to Ravenna.

“Did your healer clear you for working? For travel?” she asked, concerned about him winnowing before his wings had fully healed.

“Madja did,” he replied, shrugging. My other healer had the day off today. He winked at Ravenna, who scowled back, crossing her arms over her chest. “That’s why I was coming down here actually. I wanted to see if you could winnow us.” The question was directed at Mor, who shrugged and agreed.

“After she tries on one more dress,” Mor requested, gesturing to the black dress still hanging beside the mirror by itself.

“I’ll wait out front,” he told her, turning to leave.

Please be careful.

I will.

His eyes slipped over her body one more time, quickly enough that she wondered if she’d imagined it, and then he was gone. And once again, her head had gone quiet. The silence was nearly unbearable as Ravenna slipped out of the red gown and into the black one, heading back out in front of the mirror.

She liked this one better. The dress itself was simple, black, and strapless. It was form fitting, with a sheath skirt that fit her nearly perfectly and accentuated her hips. It was imbued with something of a cape, sheer and almost lacy, with rhinestoned accents that flowed from the neck and shoulders down to the floor, covering the black fabric of the dress with a light drape of sparkle. It was perfect, and Mor’s gaping mouth told Ravenna she agreed. Mor raved a little longer, then left Ravenna so she could find Cassian.

Ravenna changed back into her clothes, hanging the black silk back on its rack. Her mind walked itself back to Cassian’s voice again. It had almost felt like a warm embrace in her brain, but she felt it tug somewhere within her chest as well. She found herself hoping it would happen again, preferably as soon as possible. It had sounded like music to her, and it had now quieted the ugliness that usually swarmed twice now. The image of the way he’d looked at her in the red gown crept into her mind as well, and she had to physically shake her head to erase the image from her mind. He really liked Celeste, they were good together, she reminded herself. Ravenna decided that she and Cassian had just gotten closer in the past couple of months she’d spent caring for him. That would also explain the pit that sat in her gut now, thinking about Cassian going to Windhaven with injured wings.

Ravenna exited Mor’s room, leaving her a thank you note for lending the gown, and made her way to bed.

Epiphany Masterlist

#acotar #acotar angst #acotar fanfiction #acotar fic #acotar oc #cassian acotar #cassian angst #cassian x oc #cassian x reader

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witchysquirrel · 2 months

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Epiphany

Chapter Seven

Ravenna’s mind reeled through the next string of days, surprised at her reaction to the way Cassian had made her feel nearly a week ago now. Madja had decided he no longer needed twice a day care or constant observation, and the shifts she was supposed to see him, she’d asked Madja to take. She’d made up multiple excuses to avoid seeing Cassian again, and she couldn’t quite figure out why, either.

She knew his voice in her head had felt different. She didn’t want to say any of it out loud, but it felt like he was speaking to her heart, his voice reverberating somewhere deep within her. It made her feel vulnerable, a feeling she generally tried to avoid as it left her feeling exposed. She wasn’t ready to feel that way again, and decided that if she didn’t see him, it couldn’t happen.

One Sunday morning, Rhys summoned Ravenna to his study. She figured it would be about the plan he’d briefly mentioned to her for Starfall, and took a deep breath as she raked a comb through her hair. Although she hadn’t lived in the Dawn Court for upwards of 200 years, most of her formative memories of her youth had played out there. Her first time healing, her first bedroom to herself, her first love, her first kiss. Her first loss. The Dawn Court and its people had shaped her. So when Rhys had gauged her willingness to play insider for the Night Court, she’d been conflicted at first. Fortunately her morals had kicked in and she found it easy to sacrifice her comfort for further information on where the Dawn Court stood in the fight for freeing human slaves. Now was as good a time as any.

She tried not to come up with the questions Rhysand might ask her on her walk to his study, the possibilities of what he might want to know. They hadn’t talked much about that time in her life, Cassian and Mor had probably heard the most from her, and even those were only a few stories that were heavily veiled in white lies and half-truths.

When she reached the High Lord’s study, he was sitting at his desk, examining a stack of scrolls that spilled over the surface. The Shadowsinger sat nearby, surveying what looked to be one of the scrolls as well. They both looked up at her entrance, setting down whatever they had been holding. Rhys gestured for her to take a seat in the large velvet armchair adjacent to his desk.

“I know you try to stay out of the political stuff,” he began. “So thank you for being willing.”

“No problem,” she answered, adjusting in the cushioned seat. “I’m here to help wherever I’m needed, you know that. Especially in this context.”

“Obviously you don’t need to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” Rhys said, glancing to Azriel. “But I do think Fetrin would be a good place to start.”

“I’m fine with that,” Ravenna answered, hands clasped in her lap. “I haven’t seen him in a few decades, he should be glad to see me. If he shows up.”

“We’ll invite him, personally. Or you will, that is,” Rhys replied, pausing almost hesitantly. “You really haven’t said much about him. I’m only aware of your previous… engagement. I want to know what the stakes are of this endeavor for you, emotionally.”

“What he’s trying to say is that we want to know what happened… back then,” Azriel added plainly, shooting Rhys a look. “We’ve been attempting to get it out of Cassian for a century but he won’t tell us.”

She smiled a little, raising an eyebrow at Rhys, only a small wave of embarrassment washing his features. She swallowed, looking between the two males in front of her whom she trusted so much.

“When I lived in Dawn,” she started, wistfully, her voice soft. “When I was fifteen, I met my very best friend in the world. Kai. We were both beginning our apprenticeships around the same time.” She closed her eyes, a smile floating to her lips. “He was older than me, and a better healer than I ever was. And I loved him.” Ravenna opened her eyes again, the smile fading slightly. Rhys and Azriel both listened to her intently, leaning in as she spoke.

She adjusted in her seat. “He was my best friend. Us and our other childhood friend, Fetrin, whose father was Lead Emissary to the Dawn Court. They were my first real friends in my new home. The three of us spent all of our time together, Kai and I would practice healing all day and then meet up with Fetrin afterwards, to get ice cream or sneak into the theatre, or lay on a grassy hillside until it got dark.” She paused again for a moment. “They both loved me, I guess. I didn’t know it at the time.”

“I’ve never heard you talk about Kai before,” Rhys said gently, violet eyes full of sympathy.

Ravenna pursed her lips, shrugging, although her face looked like glass on the verge of shattering. “Kai was my first everything,” she continued. “I looked up to him, I admired him, we imagined our lives together. They both went to war the Summer I turned twenty-one. Kai was killed by enemy fire a month before he was meant to return.”

“I’m sorry,” Azriel said after her words had hung in the air for a moment.

“It’s okay, it gets better too,” She laughed. “When I turned twenty-two, my parents decided I had grieved enough, that my power shouldn’t be wasted, and that I needed to do what was best for our family. So, they arranged for Fetrin and I to be married.”

“How’d you get out of that one?” Rhys asked, eyes narrowed.

“I nearly went through with it. He told me he loved me, and that was what I needed at the time,” Ravenna answered, scoffing slightly. “Until one night, Fetrin confesses to me that he knows something more about Kai’s death. He tells me that Kai hadn’t been killed by enemy fire, but that Fetrin himself had killed his friend. He admitted to me that he was responsible for Kai’s death, and that he’d killed him because he knew I’d marry him if he returned, and he couldn’t handle that.” She swallowed hard. “And then I ran, and ran, and ran, until I made it back to Velaris and into the eighth battalion of the Night Court Army.”

Ravenna looked up finally. Rhysand’s eyes were sad, but his jaw remained hard set, clenched casually. Azriel did not try to hide the rage that rippled just beneath his skin, knuckles white where they were pressed to his thighs.

“Are you sure you want to do this? I can just release Az on him instead,” Rhys offered, making a face.

Ravenna waved a hand. “It’s been centuries. I have nothing left unsaid on the topic. I’d much rather use his proximity to our advantage.”

Azriel rolled his eyes at her words, relaxing back into his seat with his arms crossed. “Well I’m really sorry about Kai,” he said, and Rhys nodded.

“Anyways, now that we’re done with that,” Ravenna said, clapping her hands. “Tell me about our plans to fuck with him.”

Rhys grinned, leaning in once more to explain her objective. “The Dawn Court keeps things close to the chest. All you have to do,” he starts, “is seduce him enough so that he’ll tell you where they stand on the issue at hand. Any information is good information.”

“I can do that.”

Author’s Note: hope you enjoyed some ✨Ravenna lore✨

Epiphany Masterlist

#cassian x reader #acotar #cassian acotar #acotar oc #acotar fic #acotar smut #acotar series #acotar fanfic #acosf #acowar #cassian angst #cassian

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witchysquirrel · 2 months

Text

Epiphany

Chapter Six

Cassian’s condition continued to improve more and more as the weeks went by. His wings were certainly scarred, but the skin had mostly mended under the hand of the healers’ meticulous wound care, and a lot of healing magic. Each morning he would stretch, and Ravenna would give him a different set of exercises for the day. Some days were more painful than others, particularly when Cassian decided the exercises were too trivial and pushed himself too hard, moved more quickly than he should have, lifted more than he was allowed. Ravenna scolded him lightly whenever he did so, warning him against pushing himself into a setback.

One morning, Ravenna had taken her usual route from her bedroom at the very peak of the House to the kitchen to get something for breakfast before heading up to see Cassian. She’d wanted an apple, but when she arrived, she found the fruit bowl empty. Wrinkling her nose, she shifted her gaze to the dining room. She found Cassian sitting at the table, biting into a huge apple.

“Hi,” he said with a big smile, mouth full of apple.

“Hey,” she replied, forgetting about the apple as she was happy to see her friend in a different setting. “You’re in the dining room.”

“Needed a change of scenery. I’ve been trying to walk a lot.”

“You almost look normal,” she joked, taking the apple from him and taking a bite. He’d lost the sickly hue of those first couple weeks of recovery. She chewed for a minute and then handed it back to him. “We do need to do your wound care though.”

He followed Ravenna back to their infirmary, removing the white tee shirt he had been wearing in one swift motion to expose his wings and back. Ravenna watched him toss the shirt aside, mouth dry as she tried to focus only on removing the old bandages from his wings, rather than fixating on the hard lines of his shoulders and back.

“How are they feeling today?” she asked, discarding the old bandages as she went along.

“Not too bad, honestly,” he said, shrugging. “Numb, if anything.”

“Good,” she responded, grabbing a pad of cotton and soaking it in disinfectant solution.

“Does that mean I can try flying soon?” he asked, looking back at her from where he lay.

“That means maybe next week you can try holding a sword,” Ravenna corrected with a scoff, working carefully across his left wing.

“What about next month?” He asked.

“I’m sure you’ll be holding two swords by next month,” she quipped, folding a clean bandage before placing it onto his wing.

He fake laughed at her. “I mean what will I be able to do? Go back to work? Go to the Ball for Starfall? Have a cold beer?”

Ravenna’s mouth flattened as she secured the last clean bandage, moving to the trash to toss the old dressings. “I don’t like the idea of work,” she said. “But I don’t see why a few cold beers on Starfall would hurt anyone.”

“And what will you be doing for Starfall?” He questioned.

“I told dear Rhysie I’d make an appearance at the ball,” she said, pausing for a moment. “More of a…political one.”

Cassian’s head snapped to her. “Political?” Ravenna continued folding the towel she was holding, not responding. “Not anything Fetrin related. He can’t make you do that.”

“Rhys can’t make me do anything,” she replied, shrugging and tossing the towel into the basket below her.

“I just find it hard to believe you’d willingly be near him again,” Cassian said flatly. “After everything.”

“It’s not for me,” Ravenna answered. “We need the information and Fetrin happens to be the one who might have it.”

Cassian was at a loss for words. “For some reason I can’t picture you enjoying a ball,” he answered, stretching again. She watched the muscles twist under his taut, tanned skin. “In fact I don’t think I have seen you at a ball in decades.”

“I don’t mind them… though I do think they should be shorter than they usually are. I get tired with that much socialization,” she replied, ignoring the latter of his statements. She knew he was just trying to poke at her.

“You just need a little more alcohol, maybe,” he said, chuckling.

“Perhaps you’re right.” She finished dressing the wounds with the thin sheet of gauze dressed with healing salve. When she finished, she let him get up by himself, resisting the urge to help him get to his feet. She had to clasp her hands together, watching him rise on his own.

Don’t combust trying not to help me.

Ravenna cocked her head to the side; It was Cassian’s voice in her head now, echoing behind her eyes. She shifted her gaze to him quickly, in case she had imagined it, but he was already looking at her.

I’m not going to! And I didn’t know you could do this. I’ve known you for over 200 years.

You look like you’re about to. A deep laugh filled her head, rolling off of the white marbled walls of her mind like music.

Get out of my head. Ravenna rolled her eyes at him, averting her gaze, but she was almost hoping to hear his voice there again, the silky texture of it that spooled itself around her shields. His voice sounded different echoing through the space in her brain, softer around the edges than it did in person. Deeper. Warmer.

Ravenna bit her cheek and picked up the hamper that had been sitting next to the bed, full of dirty washcloths and towels. She tucked the basket under her arm, resting it on her hip as she exited the room, and spoke into the dense forest of Cassian’s mind.

Since you’re so independent now, sleep in a real bed tonight. I’m convinced you won’t die in your sleep anymore.

Really?

She did not look back, making her way down the corridor in pursuit of her own bedroom. She tried to focus on the stone beneath her feet, but all she could hear was Cassian’s voice in her head. He’d only said fourteen words, but something about his voice in her head had felt different, sending her heart hammering in her chest. Ravenna turned the corner, throwing open the door to her room and shutting it hard behind her, resting her body back against the door. All at once, it hit her - that familiar roaring that always filled Ravenna’s ears, the constant stream of self-loathing and terror - had gone quiet. And had stayed quiet since Cassian’s voice had replaced it.

Epiphany Masterlist

#acotar #cassian x reader #cassian acotar #acotar angst #cassian angst #acotar fic #acotar oc #cassian x oc #rhysand

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