1132 Rue Royale + artwork

AMC's Interview With the Vampire, set design by Mara LePere-Schloop, set decor by Selina van den Brink.

(Dubai penthouse edition)

LESTAT + tags on this video (part 2) Interview with the Vampire (2022)

Hannibal (2013-2015) Interview with the Vampire (2022-)

oh wow….

Jacob Anderson as Louis de Pointe du Lac - AMC’s Interview With the Vampire - Requested by @mychlrmnc

an assortment of tims

salix between two friends

this is about making new friends and meeting new people and not knowing how to act around them because i dont know what they like in a person and thus am being forced to “be myself” around them.. whatever that means. half the time i dont know if people see me beside them or not. i dont know how to command that kind of attention. i seek out those who are active in their friendship.. i’m the rocks encased in that powdery hard stuff they sell at dinosaur hotspot tourist places where the kids can excavate for fun. if you know you know. i’m not a writer. i’m just a guy who can’t experience an emotion without telling the whole world about it #truth

borrows heavily from both my biology classes and aprovechate by cafe tacuba. i need to fall in love in 30 seconds so i can stop writing love as it exists in psychological horror like.. what is going on here.. why is love killing you? why is love causing you malfunction? is this endosymbiosis or parasitism? 

inspired mostly by my biology lab. eyelashes remind me of peristomes. peristomes are basically little hair things that exist all around the lip of a moss reproductive organs and facilitate reproduction by shaking spores out into the air. given that they’re kinda like.. very important in moss reproduction and thus survival, and my immediate human comparison was eyelashes around the eye (”eyes are the window to the soul” and such,) i figured it’d be a cool metaphor. didnt really bother to elaborate much though. this is a poem for the biology majors. i dont even really remember what i was trying to get across when i wrote this, i usually zone out. this is really one that’s up for interpretation. maybe that’s just what people say when they write a bad poem

happy birthday. i am with you.

this one is majorly self-explanatory. intention was to capture a person’s passed loved ones as they exist alongside their still-living counterparts.. mostly just for myself. i wrote this in like 10 minutes. i’d give anything to hear her voice say those last two sentences. aint that just the way

i passed the test. that’s as far as i’m willing to go concerning this subject. second chem exam is breathing down my neck (it’s on tuesday)

i need a lobotomy and FAST. i’m trying so hard to take initiative in school and seek help when i need it but i found the tutoring center (the place i intended to go to for help) and walked right past it cuz seeing the tutors inside made my heart start racing so bad i had go sit down in front of the next classroom

planning to actually go to tutoring this week. updates to come.

i need a lobotomy and FAST. i’m trying so hard to take initiative in school and seek help when i need it but i found the tutoring center (the place i intended to go to for help) and walked right past it cuz seeing the tutors inside made my heart start racing so bad i had go sit down in front of the next classroom

i need a lobotomy and FAST. i’m trying so hard to take initiative in school and seek help when i need it but i found the tutoring center (the place i intended to go to for help) and walked right past it cuz seeing the tutors inside made my heart start racing so bad i had go sit down in front of the next classroom

no title. my butt hurts.

ah. hello. i’ve come to talk about myself and my thoughts (which are an extension of the self but i’ve chosen to list separately for the sake of being dramatic) instead of reviewing for the upcoming exams i’ve got.. about which i know nothing. the shit part of liking a specific facet of science is that all the other sciences add on top of each other so you’ve got to know a little bit of all of them if you want to pursue the facet you care about professionally [academically]. which is the long way of saying i facken hate chemistry so so so much. and whenever i think about this fact, two other thoughts come to mind:

1. it’s fascinating how every person has their own little niche. there are people in the world who are voluntarily studying chemistry. there are people in the world who are going back to school to follow their hearts.. that led them to.. chemistry. i’m at school studying biology because my heart has drawn me to bugs. i want to know all about them. i want to know how they influence me and how i influence them. how wonderful that everyone’s got something going on. i wish another person’s love of chemistry would just rub off on me for a single semester. i am morbidly lacking in passion for chemistry.

2. i have a violent case of fixed mindset syndrome. i’m working on it, but alas, i am a stubborn little guy. i go to class, i listen to the lecture, i take notes, and retain nothing. this is, verbatim, something i scribbled into the margins of my notes during today’s lecture: “i’m so lost she’s going too fast there’s no time for the information to sink into my brain... like watering dirt during a drought”. this is due to two things: one -> my natural distaste for the subject leads me to be less-than-there during class. i’m usually only 80% listening, mostly because i’m a note-taker for another student and they’re relying on me to be paying attention during class. two -> i think my teacher sucks at teaching. (peter griffin voice) fine, fine teacher. can’t teach. i think she’d rather be conducting a chemistry lab than a lecture because she often goes on tangents about chemical properties of compounds and how to perform different experiments that are only semi-relevant to the subject of discussion. so she usually just reads through the slides on the board at a stupidly fast pace for people who (presumably) have never learned about the elements (hehe) of chemistry covered in our course. or maybe it’s a regular pace and i’m just a slow learner. either way, it feels like i’m just being talked at. she doesn’t teaach meeeeee... she just reads from the board, solves the practice problems on her own and stares at us when we’re lost on how to get started. it’s like giving a long division equation to a first grader and getting flustered when they don’t know how the hell the numbers in the box work. this whole scenario has really given me an opportunity to take initiative and seek out tutoring or reach out to classmates or whatever, and i have/plan on it, but then i’m like, why am i paying a billion dollars to this stchewpid facken skewl just to teach myself these stchewpid facken lessons? which brings me around to my next point: i’ve been dabbling with the idea of taking a break from school. i told my parents and they looked at me like i was both stupid and crazy. they said no. of course. part of me wants to just push through, especially since i’ll only have to suffer through (counts fingers) 3-ish more months of chemistry and then i’ll be done with it for the rest of my academic career. alas. i am a libra. 

you see how one of these is vastly longer than the other. this class is my most pressing matter at the moment. other than that, i’ve mostly been doing pretty good. i get along well with my roommate, i’m talking to my classmates (though mostly by necessity), trying to get involved and join clubs, etc. i just feel like i’ve been going through the motions for the past few weeks. everything’s been feeling pretty lackluster, despite my initial sentiments being excitement and joy. which is why i keep circling back to a break from academia. i know that i want to pursue biology academically. it makes me happy. i suppose i’m just kind of torn between everything i want to do and all the work each path requires. i think i might be getting a little lazy. maybe succumbing to the forces of instant gratification. i’ve really just been missing writing and missing the “field” element of biology. i miss reading in the grass in my backyard and standing before trees with my hands behind my back like somebody’s grandpa while i analyze every branch for mantis nymphs. every time i hear the drone of the wings of a june bug i smile. i miss all the elements of biology that take place outside of a classroom. but i sort of dont want to go back home.. either. my relationship with my parents (read: father) has gotten so much smoother since moving out for school. every time he’s breached my territory (read: come into my apartment to use the bathroom when they drive up to visit) he’s found a way to piss me off. that guy knows absolutely nothing about boundaries and will break them for fun. he saw the “quiet hours” sign in the hallway and deliberately started talking louder because he felt it was stupid to designate some quiet time in communal living spaces -_- he also deliberately stepped on posters that were left out on the ground in front of my RA’s dorm because she hadn’t taped them up. god. getting upset as i type it out. he knows literally nothing about common decency. goooodddddddddddddd. i really dont want to go back. there’s so much i’ve yet to learn about being an “”””adult””””. i dont want to work i dont want to do school i just want to read and write and about insects and life. pleeek. anyway. that’s about it for the break i’m allowing myself to take between studying -_- just 3 months... just 3 months..