randomly rememebered a very silly maya content creator AU i came up with like 2 years ago. its just dumb fun haha

ok as someone who's been watching from the sidelines, completely unrelated to the STEX fandom, let me put in a set of. assumptions (for lack of a better term ). !! sincerely a former ALW musical fan not all that active online anymore

you dont have to listen to me, that's fine. if you want my motive behind writing this, .... well.... idk i'm going to art school now and learning real actual theory on how to grow as a person while, ill be honest, getting involved (by association and, frankly, lack of choice) in CATS arguments stunted that. my mutuals (as i'm sure you *might* notice) tried but i'll try one more time. i hope you understand this time around, i do want to see you learn from this, stranger. i also want to work through some ideas abt queer dynamics online... floating around in my head for too long. apologies for any order mess, i have assignments that need more of my time planning than a tumblr post.

let me go through the events based off how i see them going through your blog,,, disregarding what my mutuals may have said in private spaces, and influence by posts from other blogs... this is because there is a Very Important Divide between what you intend and try to say, vs. how it appears to others. like you said, people can't read minds. we can't read yours either. the only context i will use is that there's a new cast call for a new production of STEX, and she, to my 5min google search, is a woman. congrats to Al Knott on the role!!! you posted something that got a reaction out of some people, and as a result, some time in the last day you edited that part out of your post. for as-of posting reference, you, GB (i hope that's alright), wrote "Edit: removed what was here because people would rather kneejerk, assume, then sling loaded words than ask what I tried to mean...", the latter remains the same. more posts about Greaseball. fandom aggression and crit. of the new production [i wont say TOO much i already feel bad abt flooding, but i mean, people are allowed to post that stuff online. does it mean they should? depends. but more often than not they stem from genuine concerns about how something might play out when corporate company makes changes. im sure someone has discussed this already] i digress!!! more stex, then someone in the ask box calling you out and your response. i feel like i missed a now deleted post or something, or some un-reblogged posts, but you talked about just editing the original post and no other posts about it being made after.**** please put a bookmark on this. there's also the post previous which. Yeah. doesn't read too hot considering the original post and presumably, tension in the fandom. i will agree, your timing wasn't ideal here. the continuation from the same person is, again, something i don't know of the wider fandom to talk about. i will want to talk about what you said, that nobody tried to teach you, and that you recognized that it was a vague-post. a post about your situation last night, and another person calling you out via ask, then a reblog of an anon sent to someone else which. i honestly cannot tell if it is directly related or not. i am getting callbacks to the CATS biphobia aggression's when i was still hanging around.

the first ask to you definitely hits out of the blue, in context of only looking through your recent blogging. whatever you said originally, it didn't come off the way you might have wanted it to. regardless of what your intentions are (again, in ur words, people cant read minds), the original post, the edit of said post, and the audio quote, look Shitty. i'm not going to sugarcoat this, it looks ignorant on your part. it doesn't mean that you wanted, consciously, to be ignorant. again, the timing was Bad. continuing with the ask, you mentioning the butch lesbian art vague-post that you recognized as a vague-post (which. the assumption is naturally going to be that you put 2 and 2 together based off, editing your old message And reblogging that vague-post art with a "....is it??" in the tags within that time span, and the audio quote. again, bluntness, but it looks Bad. it looks Ignorant. and it looks like sloppily trying to cover up something you said that didn't work out. once again, on the theme of looks vs. thoughts, i can't tell you what you were thinking when posting any of these things in this order. this is what i, and likely others, can perceive it as. acting clueless (the tag) and never really clarifying just creates more room for misinterpretation. take it from an anxious, autistic queer who over-explains and sits studying social scenarios. some people, as an internet phenomenon*, do act like everyone has to articulate perfectly all the time and always be right. internet perfectionism. that's a plague and an essay in and of itself. but what people are taking issue with (confident assumption*) is your response to theirs. also, talk to you and teach? did someone, Not already talk to you about how your post was upsetting, presumably in private? i don't know who they are or what they said, but i feel like they definitely explained themselves more than just "this is lesbophobic bc i feel like it :/". i left the teaching part avoided for a moment, because my God do i have a lot of words about 'teaching' as a bargaining. by saying "No one's tried to teach me," i need you to understand--again with the background of everything else that's happened prior--this reads as though it was the people, who did or didn't call you out, are to blame for your slip up. it looks. looks like someone who is outside of the community, and has a fundamental misunderstanding of that community but couldn't be bothered to work on yourself to support them. i absolutely don't claim to know what your identity in regards to lesbians are because i don't, but again, this is how it reads in a greater context of living as a lesbian.

let me deviate just a hair to prove a point. marginalized groups, as the word "marginalized" suggests, usually have to prove themselves to the often white, cis- and hetero-normative majority society. this goes different ways obviously, riot, protest, politics, social movements, assimilation, adaption.... it depends obviously, but they often start quietly, trying to work within the laws of majority society, and get louder, more hurt, and more 'aggressive' (as described by the oppressor) the longer they get ignored. if you want a specific example, queers do it, Black folk do it, and children do it. you ignore the needs of someone for too long and they will take more and more measures to maybe, finally, be heard. now lets say this particular group has had a veeerrry long history. alongside wanting to be heard, is the opposite 'side' undermining the movement: "that's not proper, disgusting, uncivilized"... "they can do that if i don't have to perceive it existing"... "it should be less confusing, i don't understand it"...... at some point, they realize that it's only worth it to explain their existence to people who have shown they are willing to learn, because it is a waste of their energy, mood, and time to try and talk to brick walls who claim they don't actually hate x community guys!!!!! call it whatever you want, but it is not their obligation to justify any part of their existence to you, ever, really, as they already have to deal with the less-than-smooth experience of existing as something more than a mere caricature created by the majority they live in.

hammering home the point, there is a disconnect between peoples intentions and how their actions are perceived, and it takes your cooperation with what they say to bridge that gap. i am still telling you, reader, to pay special attention to what i and others believe you are saying, what our interpretation of that is, while not necessarily saying that it actually is what you want it to be. if i assumed too much, at any point, let me know, but know that my reasoning is (in generalizing what the words you say mean to most) providing context to describe why whatever you said got the reaction it did from who it did.

hopefully you can connect what i'm trying to get at here in regards to your post. if not, let me repeat another time: people understand your actions (be the timing, the wording, the responses) are not only from a place of ignorance (which is fine. we don't know everything), but are also coming from a mind who has little-no interest in understanding these griefs unless they are handed directly to you in a comfortable, easy to understand manner that doesn't make you question your own actions. bluntly, they aren't going to constantly spoon-feed a personalized meal to every person who says something shitty AND responds shitty to the response. this, and the tendency to want to avoid those people to avoid hurt. why would a lesbian want to hang around someone who's views COULD be more dangerous. they may not be, but many are not going to take that risk to their well being. most of what i said already addresses the second anons concerns. going "how am i supposed to know?" reads defensive, and IMPLIES that its the fault of the hurt party. that you see the things they say as ridicule, and Even If It Was, it seems like ignoring the entire thing because of the tone, while completely ignoring the message they actually did try and teach you about. Yes i Know that is something you mentioned too, people misunderstanding you, so what makes misunderstanding them less fair? well, if the statement itself can't get across what you actually meant, the types of possible readings some user would see in that are, in this case, restricted to being ignorant at best and offensive at worst. it also, again, comes back to your responses and following actions, which, as more things that came across in a way you didn't intend, act as proof solidifying what they already had a hunch about. there's also a slight irony to [it was disappointing to see you talk down to lesbians, whether intentionally or not." That was NOT the intention.] that i assume you missed but. please read this a little bit slower next time, or try and take a step back before replying. woe the broken record but, it really is the best thing to do (avoiding response at the height of your emotions). i am not going to discuss the reblog of the other person's anon.

if you are reading this, first off thank you and sorry it was long winded... second... i need you to Really understand that YES intentions can be hard to get across, YES this is accentuated through a limited vocabulary, YES it hurts to be misunderstood.. yes but, this doesn't automatically absolve you from saying something people take offence to. you need to prove to them that you are, in fact, trying to support them more than in what benefits you the most. TRY and explain what you actually meant, rather than just going "nevermind it doesn't matter", because That Is How You Learn. 'i meant this, if you get me?' 'oh i see! try and explain it like this next time, because this other one is rooted in -phobic ideas' 'thank you, and sorry, it wont happen again'.... and even a 'oh ok! wouldd it be like this? [example]' lets you learn through a first experience in a safer space than just straight assumption and posting to the wider internet. and finally, the idea that everything can be resolved quietly in private is more often harmful than not. even if they didn't speak to you directly, they heard through word of mouth or saw what you did. public apology and, in this case, reiteration is one of the best solutions to that, though also remember you aren't owed forgiveness. this will not be a comfortable process. come to terms with that. thank you.

oh yeah... what did you mean by "...begging the fandom not to hetero the lesbians ( where one is masc and the other isn't). Why can't they just be ladies!!", by the way?

hi! dw here's someone reaching out to tell you directly why your post is insensitive & comes across as lesbophobic! i'm taking my time to tell you this, even though i think its your responsibility as the one who wronged others to reach out to the people who expressed being upset about your post. its your place to look up and learn WHY people are calling you lesbophobic, as a nonlesbian. it was frankly immature on your part to go "why wont people explain to me? people would rather accuse me than talk to me," & to turn the focus away from you making a mistake to making it seem like the people upset are in the wrong. lesbians can be masc, and projecting gender roles on queer relationships [& overall all relationships] is a shitty thing to do. lesbians do not owe femininity, they do not owe anythang! there can be no "hetero-ing" the lesbians, because they will never be hetero. butches, studs & masc lesbians are such an integral part of lesbian history & LGBTQ history overall and people talking down to them happens way too often, especially in fandom spaces!! lesbophobia, both overt & subtle, is a big issue both in such spaces & society overall. it was disappointing to see you talk down to lesbians, whether intentionally or not. acknowledge you messed up, instead of hiding behind ignorance. learn & grow from your ignorance, instead of pointing the finger at those upset by it.

"even though i think its your responsibility as the one who wronged others to reach out to the people who expressed being upset about your post." so I'm supposed to read minds and know who's upset? I'm supposed to go past blocks to apologize? I'm supposed to assume those people even want to talk to me if they didn't try to ask what it was all about in the first place?

"its your place to look up and learn WHY people are calling you lesbophobic, as a nonlesbian. it was frankly immature on your part to go "why wont people explain to me? people would rather accuse me than talk to me?" & to turn the focus away from you making a mistake to making it seem like the people up set are in the wrong." I'm immature for asking to be taught? Isn't it mature to acknowledge and open myself up for ridicule to admit that I don't know and ASK for people who DO KNOW to teach me? For the lesbians to tell me the right stuff instead of misinforming myself by not knowing where to go? Are the upset people NOT the best source to learn from?

"lesbians can be masc" Of course! There is nothing wrong with that.

"and projecting gender roles on queer relationships [& overall all relationships] is a shitty thing to do." I literally said to NOT to do that!? I said to let them be ladies? Let them just be lesbian.

"lesbians do not owe femininity, they do not owe anythang! there can be no "hetero-ing" the lesbians, because they will never be hetero. butches, studs & masc lesbians are such an integral part of lesbian history & LGBTQ history overall and people talking down to them happens way too often, especially in fandom spaces !!"

I know! Im advocating for !!!! MORE !!!! I want to see people headcanon ALL types of lesbians! I think you (or others) used to people not agreeing ot not wanting more? That's why people got upset… I have been ASKING for actual lesbian rep in our source pretty much since i woke up in this world just 2 years ago.. because all we had was Ashley and Buffy but it was actors off stage and not on stage I wanted something on stage?

"lesbophobia, both overt & subtle, is a big issue both in such spaces & society overall. it was disappointing to see you talk down to lesbians, whether intentionally or not." That was NOT the intention. As you see above I don't want to talk down about them. I've been in support of them for ages!

"acknowledge you messed up" I did.. i said that i dont have the proper vocabulary to phrase it well. I said i didnt know everything to even say it right…how is that not acknoledging it…?

"instead of hiding behind ignorance" I'm not, I am right here… If I wanted to hide I would just block liberally and never ask to be taught or have things explained.

This year has been quite trying, but I'm happy that I discovered a love of making these horse animations in 2023.

my English prof teaching abt cover letters today and me trying not to bring up the luke skywalker cover letter post:

But once the babies are here, the state provides little help.

When she got pregnant, Mayron Michelle Hollis was clinging to stability.

At 31, she was three years sober, after first getting introduced to drugs at 12. She had just had a baby three months earlier and was working to repair the damage that her addiction had caused her family.

The state of Tennessee had taken away three of her children, and she was fighting to keep her infant daughter, Zooey. Department of Children’s Services investigators had accused Mayron of endangering Zooey when she visited a vape store and left the baby in a car.

Her husband, Chris Hollis, was also in recovery.

The two worked in physically demanding jobs that paid just enough to cover rent, food and lawyers’ fees to fight the state for custody of Mayron’s children.

In the midst of the turmoil in July 2022, they learned Mayron was pregnant again. But this time, doctors warned she and her fetus might not survive.

The embryo had been implanted in scar tissue from her recent cesarean section. There was a high chance that the embryo could rupture, blowing open her uterus and killing her, or that she could bleed to death during delivery. The baby could come months early and face serious medical risks, or even die.

But the Supreme Court had just overturned Roe v. Wade, which guaranteed the right to abortion across the United States. By the time Mayron decided to end her pregnancy, Tennessee’s abortion ban — one of the nation’s strictest — had gone into effect.

The total ban made no explicit exceptions — not even to save the life of a pregnant patient. Any doctor who violated the ban could be charged with a felony.

Women with means could leave the state. But those like Mayron, with limited resources or lives entangled with the child welfare and criminal justice systems, would be the most likely to face caring for a child they weren’t prepared for.

And so, the same state that questioned Mayron’s fitness to care for her four children forced her to continue a pregnancy that risked her life to have a fifth, one that would require more intensive care than any of the others.

Tennessee already had some of the worst outcomes in the nation when measuring maternal health, infant mortality and child poverty. Lawmakers who paved the way for a new generation of post-Roe births did little to bolster the state’s meager safety net to support these babies and their families.

In December 2022, when Mayron was 26 weeks and two days pregnant, she was rushed to the hospital after she began bleeding so heavily that her husband slipped in her blood. An emergency surgery saved her life. Her daughter, Elayna, was born three months early.

Afterward, photographer Stacy Kranitz and reporter Kavitha Surana followed Mayron and her family for a year to chronicle what life truly looked like in a state whose political leaders say they are pro-life. [...]

Latest reblog reminds me of how much it pisses me the fuck off how every queer person alive has to adapt to the usamerican style of queerness lest we get shunned by the community for being too different. I bring this up a lot but bro that time I got death threats for having ele/dele in my bio bc "by using neopronouns I was making a mockery of REAL trans people" when those are literally just my pronouns in my native language, and when I said that I got hit w the "well you're on the internet so speak english" I HATE GRINGOS I HATE GRINGOS I HATE GRINGOS

How would u feel about drawing monochromatic siblings (Victoria, mistoffelees, Alonzo) ?

no refs needed drawn by heart

Old Yeller just parried the bullet

Moments in time, preserved through sentiments Twitter | Ko-Fi | Patreon

dni list

- @/catboymccartney - @/davidrebooted - @/diamondsfd - @/catboymccartney - @/catboymccartney - @/catboymccartney - @/commander-spaceboy - @/commander-spaceboy - leo. you know who you are - @/catboymccartney - @/catboymccartney

Redid my older Franziska design so I get to be a little gay, as a treat <3

better view of her outfit <3 (minus the pattern in her coat, I forgor

hey these are some tips for some of the little details in drawing fat folks that some people might not know!

everyone has fat on their bodies so its a worthwhile skill to have, but most art tutorials leave it out. heres some other good tips from artists!!

hey these are some tips for some of the little details in drawing fat folks that some people might not know!

everyone has fat on their bodies so its a worthwhile skill to have, but most art tutorials leave it out. heres some other good tips from artists!!