weird-antics
Weird Antics
Don’t mind me I’m just here alone with my thoughts // 23
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* sworn / mercy
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such an unrealistic desire
to be matched
impossible.
i had said that i'd found it once.
i was wrong
-it is still impossible
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Just because my emotions aren't shown
Does not mean i don't have any.
How naive to think that i
Do not suffer so.
My screen often has your name on it.
Fingers hovering,
Buttons unpushed.
-fear
#alone with my thoughts#spilled words#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#im just here#poets on tumblr#weird antics#exert from a book i'll never write#i wrote this#i miss you#i wonder if she hates me
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Imagine hurting someone.
Shredding their dignity.
Not alone, with an accomplice notorious for that very thing.
When you were supposed to be the one person on earth,
To make things easier for them, rather than harder.
Pushing them beyond their capacity.
And then,
Imagine being angry at them for leaving you because of it.
-you don't even know how you would've burnt me to the ground
#alone with my thoughts#spilled words#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#im just here#poets on tumblr#weird antics#i wrote this#block me#unblock me#make up your damn mind
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I had asked for time
I wanted you, us.
Even after what you did to me
"But I have been waiting"
-thats how i knew i had to leave
#alone with my thoughts#spilled words#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#im just here#poets on tumblr#weird antics#exert from a book i'll never write#i wrote this#selfish#you didnt care about me
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If it were up to me
I'd let you read me
Easier than any book
Unrestricted, I want you to see
For that unyeilding truth
-if only to banish your every doubt
#alone with my thoughts#spilled words#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#im just here#poets on tumblr#weird antics#exert from a book i'll never write#i wrote this#i miss you
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Look at me
See me
And know
I will not say it
But i need someone
With the ability to
Look at me
And know
-gaze into my heavy eyes and breathe
#alone with my thoughts#spilled words#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#im just here#poets on tumblr#weird antics#exert from a book i'll never write#i wrote this#i miss you
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Please don't apologize
To me
Because i wait.
i choose to wait.
If for any reason
You catch me in anger,
It is directed inward.
Because i chose,
And i could not
Accommodate.
-regardless, i never regret my choices
#alone with my thoughts#spilled words#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#im just here#poets on tumblr#weird antics#exert from a book i'll never write#i wrote this#i miss you
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Prideful you were,
Certain.
That I wouldn't be like you.
You didn't want that.
Well I am not like you. I am me.
But I am in the same world as you.
To pretend that similarities weren't going to happen,
Was incredibly
Naive.
-i thought you'd fight harder for me
#alone with my thoughts#spilled words#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#im just here#poets on tumblr#weird antics#exert from a book i'll never write#i wrote this#mother vs daughter
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i have never felt more at peace.
As if i had traversed the galaxy in search of precious gems
As if i had hiked, sailed, flown
Everywhere
In search of this treasure
And i found them
-finally
#alone with my thoughts#spilled words#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#im just here#i wrote this#thinking about them#unrestricted love
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and here i was
thinking..
that our coevality was
unfiltered. or at least
as close to that as we could get.
how foolish of me.
-m.t.
#alone with my thoughts#spilled words#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#im just here#poets on tumblr#weird antics#exert from a book i'll never write#existential dread#i wrote this#momentum
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Forgive me,
I stare
Smother
Examine
Envelop.
One day perhaps,
I will learn to pace myself
To love slowly.
-for the lovers who are faint of heart
#alone with my thoughts#spilled words#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#im just here#poets on tumblr#weird antics#exert from a book i'll never write#existential dread#i wrote this#momentum
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My limbs are made of mist.
My eyes, the vapour of clouds.
My being, dissolving into ethereal steam.
My mind, a roiling tempest, a Cimmerian vortex.
I am
Immaterial.
-m.t.
#alone with my thoughts#spilled words#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#im just here#poets on tumblr#weird antics#exert from a book i'll never write#existential dread#i wrote this
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I thought perhaps
This ridiculous, unforgiving
Want
The unyielding will to carve
A nook for myself
Into the wonderings of another
Would fade
As I age and mature,
And I suppose it has
A little.
Something I just haven't quite stamped out.
- do i echo in your nocturnal thoughts?
#alone with my thoughts#spilled words#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#im just here#poets on tumblr#weird antics#exert from a book i'll never write#i wrote this#existential dread#why do i miss you
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You unintentionally
Carved yourself a nook
In my nocturnal thoughts
Just enough
To make sleep impossible
-but you’ll never know that
#alone with my thoughts#im just here#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#spilled words#poets on tumblr#i wrote this#not pro just using tags#weird antics#exert from a book i'll never write
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#alone with my thoughts#im just here#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#spilled words#poets on tumblr#not pro just using tags#weird antics#exert from a book i'll never write#existential dread#alone here#to her#i wrote this
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Death to the fake angels
At least my demons tell the truth.
-the company i keep
#alone with my thoughts#im just here#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#spilled words#poets on tumblr#i wrote this#not pro just using tags#weird antics#exert from a book i'll never write#existential dread
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Which will it be today?
Will the program function flawlessly
But of course a dead battery,
Or will I buzz electrically
With broken unity.
-an error there will always be
#alone with my thoughts#im just here#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#spilled words#poets on tumblr#not pro just using tags#i wrote this#weird antics#exert from a book i'll never write#existential dread#adhd problems
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