valiantplaidshepherddreamer
Yeoreum
I dream, being by the sea, screaming in silence" Random Personal Diary "
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I don't see a way out of this pain except dying
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My birthday passed and I did nothing to myself and no one else did anything for me
I'm not surprised but this made me question my value of existence
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I'm trying so hard to push these negatives thoughts away but I can't
I keep thinking of dying
I can't see myself happy in this life
I see no future to myself
I don't want to fight anymore
I don't want to live
I better disappear and die
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Maybe if I die
everything will change
things will be smoother
life would be easier for them
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I'm begging for these hard days to pass
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I feel I'm dead inside
I really hate that I feel this way but I can't help it
I feel heavy and empty in the same time
Nothing interests me
Nothing excites me
I care about nothing
I feel lonely but I can't stand people in the same time
I want to be helped but I don't want to ask for it as I feel guilty to burden people with me
I'm dying slowly
This is a slow death
I wish I could disappear
I wish I wasn't born in the first place
I feel my existence is a mistake
a big mistake
I feel pathetic
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My heart aches
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Never thought I could ever reach this level of loneliness
The way I'm hurting but no one feels it
It was my mistake to expect too much
I think I understood human bond wrongly
I thought whenever I get happy or sad ... the people I love can share these emotions with me and they can truly feel it
but the truth is that no one care
every body think about their own life
their own preferences
I don't know why it took me so long to realize this fact and I don't know why it makes me so angry and disappointed
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Every single minute of my life feels heavy
I don't remember the last time I felt good
I feel like giving up
I feel like quitting
I can't do this anymore
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its my 23th birthday
feels like 23 years of disappointment …
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I'm carrying these burdens in silence...it hurts so much
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Hiding it was hard
Revealing it was even worse
Both choices caused me pain…
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I feel I lost interest in everything in life
everything seems meaningless for me
nothing excite me
i'm numbed
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My life is fucked
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I just want to disappear ...
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I hate myself
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I look at this world and I just don't feel like participating
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