Tumgik
valencitaflaherty · 16 minutes
Text
Tragedy! You set out to read a negative review of a piece of media you dislike, only to find that the critic is being completely unfair to it and making a bunch of bad, unsupportable arguments.
66K notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 16 minutes
Text
3K notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 19 minutes
Text
(problematic sitcom episode where a straight actor who is mistakenly under the impression that he needs to be gay to be cast in a gay movie role recruits his gay friend to teach him about stereotypes)
straight guy: I’m just having such a hard time remembering all this information about musicals, who’s sondheim again?
friend (trying to talk in a way that he understands): sondheim is the GOAT, man!
straight guy: oh fuck I thought the goat man was dr dillamond (suddenly gets really angry and starts hitting himself on the head) stupid stupid stupid stupid
261 notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 37 minutes
Text
Tumblr media
61K notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 55 minutes
Text
tried to google search for that post that's like.. something about squids and it goes "the squirterrrrrrrrr" and believe it or not that did not show me the thing i was looking for
60K notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 3 hours
Text
we've been living in this apartment for two months now, and while we've observed most of our new neighbours (my slavic Windowsill Watcher Grandmother gene already activated), I don't think they had the chance to see us often enough to recognise us yet.
I do know, however, from my observations, that the tiny funny dog upstairs is called Gucio. I've passed him once or twice during his walk and heard his owners use the name - and, while both the dog and his owners are oblivious to our existence, Gucio became an apt topic of discussion in our house. you know, we hear barking, ha, that's Gucio, he must be home alone again! or there's a stick left by the building door, that must have been brought by Gucio and he was forced to abandon it before entering! a household name, really.
yesterday as I was leaving to go to the store, walking down the narrow staircase, there he is! tiny funny looking dog, slightly startled by me suddenly appearing on the floor he just reached on his tiny funny looking legs.
"good morning Gucio!" I say joyfully, the most natural thing in the world.
well. remember that Gucio doesn't really know me. so he looks at me in the most flabbergasted way a dog can look at a person. he is positively aghast. agog! not sure how aware dogs are of their own names but he seemed genuinely puzzled at the apparent stretch of social convention.
and as I try to contain my laughter, I see his owner standing on the stairs below. the woman is sort of awkwardly frozen, speechless, and she looks at me.
"you... know each other?" she asks.
is that not the funniest way to phrase it. is this not the funniest question she could have asked. ma'am do you know my dog? you went to school together perhaps? you've met? do tell, are you old friends? maybe you worked together? you know each other, my dog and you? this dog? you know him? he knows you? he never mentioned you I'm afraid
21K notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 6 hours
Text
Tumblr media
Im reading my newest mad mag (which is just a rerun of old editions) and i got thrown so back to this which is one of my favorite panels ever
3K notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 6 hours
Text
worst relationship status to have w someone is “objectively they’re a fine person who is nice but i don’t enjoy their company as much as they enjoy mine”
106K notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 6 hours
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
these posts have the same vibes imo 💯
158K notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 6 hours
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Instructions for how to download a Youtube video using VLC on Reddit
Instructions for how to navigate the underworld on an Orphic gold tablet
10K notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 6 hours
Text
me and my friend jessie are physically incapable of having a normal fucking conversation so things happen where we accidently end up rping a dude bro trying to hit on me, an ordinary woman who is not a snake
Tumblr media
-
Tumblr media
-
Tumblr media
-
Tumblr media
-
Tumblr media
236K notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 6 hours
Text
I don't really go in the lost media and lostwave communities but I'm reading about how they found today a song they've been searching for years (Everyone Knows That aka. EKT) and turns out it originated from an 80s porno. The whole deal is so funny help.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Link to the Reddit thread
879 notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 7 hours
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
losing my mind at this
25K notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 9 hours
Text
When I was younger and researching the autism diagnosis criteria and symptoms, I thought “oh I couldn’t POSSIBLY be autistic.” Because when I read “takes everything literally” I thought it literally meant EVERYTHING and I was like “I don’t take EVERYTHING literally, just most things!” And I just realized the other day that it didn’t actually mean EVERYTHING and that was an overstatement.
29K notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 10 hours
Text
Tumblr media
62K notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 10 hours
Text
I’m an “I do not like children” person but not an “I hate children” person. I do not want a child. I do not particularly like being in the company of small children. I am not interested in babysitting. I do not think society’s view on procreating being necessary to fulfill one’s life is healthy. But I think kids are people too and they deserve all the resources, time and attention they need to successfully grow. I think the welfare of children is fundamental to society. I smile at babies in public. I try to be sympathetic if a child is having a meltdown in public. I think being cruel to children is one of the worst things a human can do.
This puts me in a strange middle ground because I absolutely cannot get along with the “I love babies, I need to have kids, my kids are my world, having children is sooo beautiful, the world should cater to children always” crowd or the “I think children are like disgusting little rats, I hate them, they’re subhuman” crowd.
5K notes · View notes
valencitaflaherty · 10 hours
Text
it's so funny how graffiti is like a non issue that effortlessly reveals peoples' reactionary tendencies.
8K notes · View notes