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universe-friday · 2 days

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EXCERPT #28:

Hello. I hope somebody is listening.

[...]

I haven’t seen her since I last spoke to you, old sport. It’s been harder to wander the streets of the City these days. It’s been harder to get up and get the day started. Thalia and I were so close… We went from spending all our time with each other, to not speaking for days at a time.

What possible reason could she have…? For someone who cares the same way, she certainly doesn’t enjoy showing it.

It is so hard to read her mind. She doesn’t give me much to base any guesses on… If only she would talk to me. Have a conversation with me. One that doesn’t lead to her deflecting, or running away.

Every time I think we’re so close, but then the tide just goes back in again. And when that wave comes crashing back into shore, are we ever able to ebb and flow the way we once did?

Or am I back to drowning, waves crashing into my lungs I am no longer able to scream…? Did she ever hear me? Can she hear me?

I suppose I never recalled walking to the beach in the first place, old sport. But I found comfort in the waves. I found myself in the waves.

[A small and distant knock is heard in the background. Equipment rattles. Radio stutters in astonishment.]

Hello…?

THALIA: Can I come in…?

[Beat.]

THALIA: Please, Radio. Can we talk?

RADIO: …Okay. Come in.

[Door squeaks open, footsteps approach.]

RADIO: Hold on. Let me just mute this call quickly.

[A button is pressed, but sound continues to play. A chair squeaks and footsteps get further away. A conversation begins from afar, distant and quiet.]

THALIA: Radio, I… I am so sorry.

RADIO: I know. You say this every time… Do you want to get to a point?

THALIA: I want to be with you. But… I can’t.

RADIO: What do you mean, Thalia? What do you mean, ‘you can’t’?

THALIA: I mean that I can’t. I care for you… So much. I have never met anyone else like you. But, I just can’t be with you.

RADIO: I don’t understand… That makes zero sense, Thalia.

THALIA: I know. And I’m sorry. I can’t… I can’t explain it very well. I just- I have other commitments-

RADIO: Other commitments?

THALIA: In the City. And I-

RADIO: What can even be meant by ‘other commitments’? There’s someone else?

THALIA: No, Radio. There’s no one else. I just… I can’t be with you.

RADIO: We’re in the City… What possible- What do you mean… I… How could you have other commitments? You don’t have time? How is it possible to have that problem here, Thalia? I run out of things to keep myself occupied, stuck here. And with you gone, even fewer things. And I just have to be stuck here while you go and do other stuff? Leave me, even though I love you?

[Silence. A quiet, but suppressed sob is heard as it breaks past Radio’s boundaries.]

THALIA: It’ll pass…

RADIO: But what if-

THALIA: I love you too. And it’ll pass.

[A much louder sob is heard. It comes from both Radio and Thalia, this time.]

RADIO: [Quietly, through tears] Will I ever see you again…?

[Beat.]

THALIA: I think… that wouldn’t be good for either of us.

[The conversation fades into radio static. After a while, this fades to silence. Until a melody softly begins to play.]

♪ There’s nothing left for us anymore Why aren’t you listening? Why aren’t you listening to me? There’s nothing left. ♪

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universe-friday · 10 days

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EXCERPT #27:

Hello. I hope somebody is listening.

[…]

RADIO: Also… Guess who’s back…?!

THALIA: …Do- They aren’t gonna respond right…? Do I just… speak…

RADIO: [Through quiet laughter] Yes… Yes… Go ahead.

THALIA: Hi Radio’s ghost listeners!

RADIO: Okay, you don’t have to call them ghosts-

THALIA: Well, have you ever had anyone respond?

RADIO: No…

THALIA: How come you opted for radio waves anyway…? You do know pretty much no one uses them…

RADIO: Well, exactly! The City doesn’t monitor the radio because no one’s on it. So I can talk freely, in hopes of someone else like me on the other line.

THALIA: Oh…! Wait- Why do we not use this?!

RADIO: I don’t know…! I didn’t think anyone else around here had a radio set up.

THALIA: Hmm… I could make something up.

RADIO: You can just… Do that?

THALIA: Yeah…! I have some spare parts lying around…

RADIO: Seriously… How are you that smart? The amount of talent- There are some cyborgs out there who shudder at your name…

THALIA: You… Just- Shut it…

RADIO: It would be cool if we could communicate on the radio when we can’t be together…

THALIA: Awh… Can’t survive a second without me, can you?

RADIO: Thalia… Come on…

THALIA: Oh! We could have like… Radio sleepovers!

RADIO: Sleepovers…?

THALIA: Yeah! Come on, how does that not sound fun? When was the last time you had a sleepover with a friend?

RADIO: Friend…?

THALIA: What…? Have you never had a friend, Radio?

RADIO: No… Not that… Thalia, you seriously see me as a friend…?

THALIA: Of course I do? What- Would you call us aquaintances??

RADIO: No… I’d call us more…

THALIA: Oh… Radio…

RADIO: Can we talk about this? Now?

THALIA: I don’t know…

RADIO: What do you mean you don’t know? That was a yes or no question…

THALIA: I just don’t know, Radio.

RADIO: I’ve allowed you to not know for months now, Thalia. What do I mean to you, really?

THALIA: Everything… Really, everything… But-

RADIO: But…? Why is it always ‘but’, Thalia? Why can you never give me a straight answer…?

THALIA: [Timidly] Can we… can we talk about this later…?

RADIO: Seriously…?

THALIA: I’m not doing this now Radio. I’m sorry- [A chair squeaks and sounds of footsteps becoming more distant].

RADIO: …She never stays, old sport. At least now you know what I’m talking about. She cares, she likes me, she knows how I feel… Yet, there she goes again. She runs as though she is being chased, yet if she actually dared to glance behind her, all she would see is me, left behind.

I want to allow her to have this space, I want her to have this privacy… But this is frustrating. I’m not a villain for thinking so, right, old sport?

Miscommunication is barely even miscommunication anymore if it’s just straight up avoidance.

How am I supposed to have this kind of conversation? I don’t know how to talk to someone who keeps running… Maybe you would know, Februa-

…Maybe, I’m in this one alone…

[...]

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universe-friday · 16 days

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EXCERPT #26:

Hello. I hope somebody is listening.

[…]

Thalia has been very friendly lately, old sport.

And I mean literally friendly…

Call me crazy, but how can someone kiss me and listen to me speak so highly of them just to go back to calling me ‘bro’ and ‘dude’... Huh? That’s not normal, right?

I wouldn’t know! I… haven’t really done this before…

Old sport, I know she likes me. You’d expect me to start doubting it now, right?

But I know... Have you ever just known? The way they act around you, maybe even by the way they initiated a kiss… I am many things, old sport, but I am not oblivious.

Why are they trying to push it away… push me away? Am I dangerous? Repulsive? Do the times we spent together mean nothing to her, despite meaning everything to me?

I just can’t think straight right now, old sport. Maybe I’ll just have to wait for this rollercoaster to inevitably stop.

I want to fight for it - I’m willing to fight for it. But I don’t even know who my enemy is yet. Is it her? Or is it myself…?

[…]

I was wondering around late last night, February. I found myself at the mouth of this tunnel. The entrance is illuminated by street lamps, yet, look any further and complete darkness stares right back at you. I was always afraid of the dark.

I was looking for that light, the one they always talk about, at the end of the tunnel. You were always that light, February. I even tried to call out to you.

For a moment, I could’ve sworn I heard you call back.

Perhaps, you, February, finally answer, but how can one be sure it's not just an echo? The voice responds, copying and mocking your own words and pleas. If you're shouting back, February, you have to be louder than that.

The definition of love is so old-fashioned. In every language, I'll shout from the mountain tops how much I am in love with you, truly. If only people would know what I really meant by it. If only you really knew what I meant by it.

If you're shouting back, February, don't let it be dismissive. I am being clearer than I ever have been. You have to understand that I'm serious. I need you to understand.

I need you to understand this is why I do everything I do. I do it for you. The calls, these letters… At this point, I know there’s no escaping the City. But you’re my escape from reality, February. If you ever do answer, I’m free. But for now, I am restricted to merely shouting to a void and calling it by your name.

You must wonder too what to do with that information. I know. But you could at least show me you’re listening. That you hear my pleas. If you are trying to move on with your life, tell me, because I will remain here until I do. How could I ever move on if I didn’t find out if it was you in that tunnel?

Besides, how could I know it was you? After all, we are in Universe City. The sound could have easily been another one of those dreaded cyborgs.

If it’s you, February, I am willing to hear you out, always. But you must emerge from the shadows and take a step into my light. You have to show me.

Perhaps if I cannot see you, I should stop trying to contact you. Am I latching onto a rotting idea that I should just let die? Is that what we are?

How am I ever supposed to get over this if I continue talking to you? I wake up in dread and heartache every day, knowing you’re not here. And, although the City is not a great alternative, I either live my life here or continue to do so with that ache… That dread.

This is no way to live. Any level-headed person would agree… If I can’t hear from you, February, perhaps you shouldn’t hear from me.

[...]

#aled last #alice oseman #frances janvier #radio silence #osemanverse #universe city #universe city podcast #february friday #original work #universe friday #osemanverse books #aled and frances #art

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universe-friday · 17 days