ukhoney
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Kat, 21. UK student and aspiring SB. /Pic isn't me, and this is a side blog so you'll be followed from a different url 😊
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13 cognitive biases that screw things for you
Let’s explore some of the most common types of cognitive biases that entrench themselves in our lives. Awareness is the best way to beat these biases, so pay careful attention to how they influence you.
1. The decoy effect. This occurs when someone believes they have two options, but you present a third option to make the second one feel more palatable. For example, you visit a car lot to consider two cars, one listed for $30,000 and the other for $40,000. At first, the $40,000 car seems expensive, so the salesman shows you a $65,000 car. Suddenly, the $40,000 car seems reasonable by comparison. This salesman is preying on your decoy bias – the decoy being the $65,000 car that he knows you won’t buy.
2. Affect heuristic. Affect heuristic is the human tendency to base our decisions on our emotions. For example, take a study conducted at Shukutoku University, Japan. Participants judged a disease that killed 1,286 people out of every 10,000 as being more dangerous than one that was 24.14% fatal (despite this representing twice as many deaths). People reacted emotionally to the image of 1,286 people dying, whereas the percentage didn’t arouse the same mental imagery and emotions.
3. Fundamental attribution error. This is the tendency to attribute situational behavior to a person’s fixed personality. For example, people often attribute poor work performance to laziness when there are so many other possible explanations. It could be the individual in question is receiving projects they aren’t passionate about, their rocky home life is carrying over to their work life or they’re burnt out.
4. The ideometer effect. This refers to the fact that our thoughts can make us feel real emotions. This is why actors envision terrible scenarios, such as the death of a loved one, in order to make themselves cry on cue and activities such as cataloging what you’re grateful for can have such a profound, positive impact on your wellbeing.
5. Confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is the tendency to seek out information that supports our pre-existing beliefs. In other words, we form an opinion first and then seek out evidence to back it up, rather than basing our opinions on facts.
6. Conservatism bias. This bias leads people to believe that pre-existing information takes precedence over new information. Don’t be quick to reject something just because it’s radical or different. Great ideas usually are.
7. The ostrich effect. The ostrich effect is aptly named after the fact that ostriches, when scared, literally bury their heads in the ground. This effect describes our tendency to hide from impending problems. We may not physically bury our heads in the ground, but we might as well. For example, if your company is experiencing layoffs, you’re having relationship issues or you receive negative feedback, it’s common to attempt to push all these problems away, rather than to face them head on. This doesn’t work and simply delays the inevitable.
8. Reactance. Reactance is our tendency to react to rules and regulations by exercising our freedom. A prevalent example of this is children with overbearing parents. Tell a teenager to do what you say because you told them so, and they’re very likely to start breaking your rules. Similarly, employees who feel mistreated or “Big Brothered” by their employers are more likely to take longer breaks, extra sick days or even steal from their company.
9. The halo effect. The halo effect occurs when someone creates a strong first impression and that impression sticks. This is extremely noticeable in grading. For example, often teachers grade a student’s first paper, and if it’s good, are prone to continue giving them high marks on future papers even if their performance doesn’t warrant it. The same thing happens at work and in personal relationships.
10. The horn effect. This effect is the exact opposite of the halo effect. When you perform poorly at first, you can easily get pegged as a low-performer even if you work hard enough to disprove that notion.
11. Planning fallacy. Planning fallacy is the tendency to think that we can do things more quickly than we actually can. For procrastinators, this leads to incomplete work, and this makes type-As overpromise and underdeliver.
12. The bandwagon effect. The bandwagon effect is the tendency to do what everyone else is doing. This creates a kind of groupthink, where people run with the first idea that’s put onto the table instead of exploring a variety of options. The bandwagon effect illustrates how we like to make decisions based on what feels good (doing what everyone else is doing), even if they’re poor alternatives
13. Bias blind spot. If you begin to feel that you’ve mastered your biases, keep in mind that you’re most likely experiencing the bias blind spot. This is the tendency to see biases in other people but not in yourself.
Bringing It All Together
Recognizing and understanding bias is invaluable because it enables you to think more objectively and to interact more effectively with other people.
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So many of you don’t actually hustle. But spend all damn day complaining.
Like a lot of you don’t take the time to step out of your boundaries, step out of your comfort zone. So many of you don’t do things because you think it’ll harm your self worth or that its below you. Its affect your money, honey.
When you’re an escort at $400 an hour, but you haven’t gotten any calls But you won’t create a quick second persona and charge 200$ because its below you to accept that little.
Or you’re online reblogging sugar baby self help posts and wondering why dudes on SA are so cheap. While you have bills to pay and rent to make, you can’t take a few headless nudes and sell em on kik? Or accept that splenda daddy, use him to tide you over until you get your whale?
I dislike online sex work. I’m not good at it and its boring/awkward for me. But I did it for a couple weeks, paid my all bills and got a new wardrobe. I toured SF at a high rate and had only a few chomps. I brought out my old lower rate persona and advertised, made all my money back and more.
If you’re capable of charging a higher rate, it doesn’t make you bad if you accept less than it. Stop tying this work to your self worth. It doesn’t make you pathetic if you need to sell your snapchat. I’ve got friends who make bank off their snapchat and manyvids, I wish I could do what they do.
Simply said your lateral whorephobia is affecting your coins. Stop sitting around waiting for someone to book you at your high price, while your bills pile up and you can’t eat. Make your fucking money and stop worrying about what others might think. I still respect you whether you’re 800/hr or 150/hr.
What I respect is that you’re making an effort to get your money and not sitting around waiting for it to come to you.
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Just got back into the bowl, my period came yesterday after a pill slip-up and my skin has just gotten really bad, and now an actual decent seeming POT is asking to book a hotel for tomorrow 😩
Why nowwww
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The girls next door
Most successful sugar babes have a niche style that they fit in to; this usually reflects their fashion sense, personality traits and the guys they hope to attract. Whether it’s the model types, alternative girls, the Barbie doll clones, or any other type of girl you can think of.
For me, it’s the girl next door. The guys I attract like my understated elegance and my sense of innocence and naivety (even if it’s just an act!) In their eyes I’m young, fun and low-maintenance - emotionally anyway.
I see so many girls who fall into this category complaining about their time being wasted when they go to meet a potential sugar daddy. They spend hours on their hair and make-up, choosing the right outfit and matching accessories; yet all they get in return is a quick cup of coffee and a chat…
Here’s the solution girls’: don’t do it!
No I’ve not gone crazy, just bear with me a second…
If I’m going on a lunch time coffee date, I’m not going to spend hours on getting ready, it doesn’t make sense. Sure; I’ll exfoliate and moisturise so my skin looks its best, I’ll wear something that’s smart but casual and I’ll make sure my hair is washed and styled - but that’s it! No make-up, no agonising over what to wear and definitely no special measures.
Here’s why:
- He will see you without make-up eventually – so why not now? If he’s attracted to your natural looks imagine how turned on he’ll be when you do dress up for him.
- Men are competitive by nature, so let him compete for you. If you show up wearing your best dress and make-up ‘A-game’ on date one, he’ll think he’s already won and all he had to do was buy you a coffee. Show him he has to work harder to impress you, I guarantee he’ll accept the challenge!
- It shows versatility and awareness of your surroundings – your potential sugar daddy will be reassured that if he takes you trekking in the Himalayas or horse riding in the Rocky’s you won’t show up in 6 inch heels and evening dress.
- Celebrating your natural beauty shows confidence. Confidence is attractive!
So there you have it, for all you girl next door types; next time a POT invites you on a coffee date, take a relaxed approach to getting ready and chill. Spend that time and energy elsewhere.
~Kittenspeach~ x
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What makes a good Sugar Baby?
I’m often asked: “What makes a good Sugar Baby?”
Unfortunately there isn’t a magic potion that transforms you into Aphrodite, nor is there a definitive set of qualities you need to succeed in the bowl. However I’ve noticed a few common traits that almost all genuine Sugar Daddies look out for.
1) Confidence
Possibly the most important thing for a Sugar Baby to possess, confidence is essential for every situation you encounter. This means you should feel confident in everything from the way you look, to the way you walk and the way you talk.
You don’t have to love everything about yourself, just be aware of your best qualities and make sure you showcase them to your Daddy. Be warned though, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance!
2) Flexibility
This doesn’t mean you need to be a super supple contortionist! – It does mean that you need to get used to your Sugar Daddy’s schedule. There’s a good chance that you are not the only commitment in this man’s life; he’s likely juggling a high-flying career, friends and potentially has a family to think about too.
With this in mind it’s not unheard of for plans to be made, cancelled and rescheduled last minute; so the ability to be spontaneous whilst maintaining your independence is a great skill to master. A Sugar Daddy doesn’t want to hear you moan or whinge – if he’s genuine he’ll know he’s let you down and will find a way to make it up to you!
Of course, it’s not unreasonable for you to have commitments too; make sure your Sugar Daddy respects these and is aware of any boundaries you may have.
3) Attentiveness
Being attentive doesn’t mean you need to cater to your Sugar Daddy’s every whim –whatever he might like to tell you! However a good Sugar Baby quickly learns to assess what her Daddy needs from her. Some men are lacking intimacy in their lives, others are searching for a companion or confidant, and some just want to relive their youth or unwind after a long day at the office.
Does your Sugar Daddy want a relationship or something more casual? Does he want to be told he’s fantastic in bed or does he just want to feel desired?
The sooner you can work out what your Sugar Daddy wants, and whether that’s something you can realistically give him, the sooner you’ll start seeing some serious sugar coming your way.
4) Ambition
The chances are your Sugar Daddy has had to work hard to get to where he is today; he’s not likely to want to share that success with a girl who behaves like an entitled princess (unless that’s a fetish of his).
A common complaint I see from Sugar Daddies is that aspiring Sugar Babes lack ambition or are only interested in materialistic things. So if you’re looking to fund your education, dazzle him with your smarts; if you have entrepreneurial flair, suggest a business idea, or simply show you’re passionate about something more than Louis Vuitton and Louboutin’s.
Share these dreams with your Daddy – you never know, he might be able to help them come true.
5) Honesty
Girls, you know how frustrating it is when you’re talking to a promising POT, you meet him, only to discover half of what he told you was false… well, it turns out a lot of Sugar Babies are guilty of the same crime!
If you’ve never been horse riding, don’t say it’s a lifelong interest; if you’ve never been to the ballet or opera, be honest about it; if you’ve never ventured outside of the M25, don’t pretend you’ve been backpacking around the world. You will be found out!
Never feel like you have to lie about yourself in order to attract a ‘certain type’ of Sugar Daddy. Anyone who is genuine wants to hear about you and what you’re interested in, not the ubiquitous activities that pseudo ‘posh’ ‘rich’ people do.
That doesn’t mean you need to be totally honest when he asks the inevitable: “Did I make you cum?” ;)
As you can see from these tips; there aren’t any special or mysterious qualities that Sugar Babies are blessed with but mere mortals can only dream of… almost anyone could become a Sugar Babe if they wanted it badly enough.
~ KittensPeach ~ x
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my honest advice for all new SB’s
1. NO MONEY NO HONEY
this is our motto. our religion. don’t you dare fucking touch that nasty old man until you get yo money.
2. KEEP A LITTLE BIT OF YOU FOR YOU
protect your soul - protect your sanity and self esteem. i dont even really dress the same in vanilla life as i do in the sugar world. I have my own persona, just so that i can keep a little bit of vanilla me away from this mental world. you need to be on your game at all times girls. I also have a job too, the bowl doesn’t consume my life. have other hobbies, other sources of income. be smart.
3. DON’T GIVE IN
unfortunately a lot of these men will try to manipulate you, and generally take the fucking piss. would a woman their own age deal with this shit? of course not. don’t give in to their bullshit. don’t accept a low offer, don’t raw fuck him, don’t get yourself in a situation you can’t get out of.
4. DATE VANILLA BOYS AND GET VANILLA DICK
life is about balance. i think this is really important to not just associate male attention and sex with sugaring, you need to be able to separate it from real life.
5. STAY SAFE
let someone know where you are and what you’re wearing. i screenshot their account, text message exchange, photo etc. all to my best mate so there’s at least a record somewhere before something cunty happens and he blocks you. be picky about who you meet up with hunz, there’s a LOTTT of fakes out there. send your location to a pal.
ALWAYS REMEMBER. THESE MEN ARE LOSERS. THEY ARE LITERALLY PAYING YOU TO GO OUT WITH THEM.
this shit is really fucked up at times. you’ve just got to roll with it and stay safe and enjoy each occasion while it lasts. nothing is certain and you don’t know what could happen. make the most out of the men you’re talking to. they are smart and successful. learn something.
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Pamper night ❤️👑
My loves, as much as I enjoy my regular visits at expensive spas, every now and then come these moments when nothing seems more appealing than a warm bath at home.
The past couple of days have really taken a toll on me psychologically and there’s nothing that can relax me more than spoiling myself a bit. Tomorrow morning I’m leaving fo a 3-day trip so I thought it was a great opportunity to pamper myself while preparing for this mini autumn vacation.
Tonight I’m sharing with you my super extra pampering routine (cause I’m a queen like that 👸🏼💁🏼💋)
Dry brushing is a crucial step at my every day body care and I rarely omit it. Not only does it exfoliate the skin, turning it baby soft, it also boosts blood and lymph circulation, thus aiding in the natural process of detox and fighting cellulite! Use upward motions towards your heart ❤️
After that I hope straight in the shower. First I take care of my hair, currently I’m using the new kerastase aura botanica line. I really enjoy the shampoo and the hair oil, the conditioner though isn’t sufficiently hydrating and the Essence d’Eclat is a complete waste of money! The whole line though smells really good, to me it smells exactly like the nestea peach iced tea, fresh, fruity, and just sweet enough. I find that it subtly and pleasantly lingers on the hair for quite a few days. After I shampoo I combine a fair amount of conditioner and two pumps of the hair oil in the palms of my hands and I apply the mixture from the middle down focusing on my ends. I pull my hair in a bun.
At this point I’ll clean my face. I use a balm or oil ( grapeseed oil is great for acne prone skin and the darphin rosewood cleansing balm is one of my top choices as well) to remove any makeup or impurities from the day. Then if I need to I’ll use a face scrub. (Please do not use baking soda to exfoliate your skin!!)
I begin filling the tub. I sprinkle ¼ of a cup baking soda and half a cup Himalayan pink salt while the water’s still running. Once the tub is full I pour 1 cup raw apple cider vinegar, one bottle of milk and top the bath off with fresh rose petals and bougainvillea flowers. (What I had in hand today 🌹🌸)
The baking soda and the salts help detox your body, the vinegar balances the pH levels, the lactose in the milk gently exfoliates revealing healthy, glowing skin ✨and the flowers heal the soul.
I love lighting a few candles. I find the dim light they provide extremely comforting and I truly enjoy a beautiful scent!
I lay in the warm water for a good twenty minutes, in the meantime I like to use a face mask. Tonight I combined raw honey, tomato paste and turmeric. Honey and turmeric are ingredients I love and use regularly on my skin, honey softens and acts as a humectant, hydrating the skin, plus it has antibacterial properties. Turmeric is anti-inflammatory and helps achieve a healthier, more even pigmented complexion. Finally the tomato paste is just so much more practical than fresh tomatoes! The AHA’s naturally present in tomatoes help gently exfoliate and reveal glowy, even-toned skin.
Regular scrubbing is also essential to my body care routine! It promotes even toned skin, helps fade marks and scars, gives healthy, baby soft skin and ensures a close shave. For a wintertime bodycare treat I like to combine equal parts of chocolate flavored coffee and sugar and mix everything with enough almond oil to create a nice consistency. I like to top everything off with a few spoonfuls raw cacao and some vanilla extract to make it extra special! The caffeine tones and firms the skin and helps conceal cellulite, the oil lightly moisturizes and provides a cushion against the razor blades, the cacao is full of nutrients and minerals plus it enhances the chocolate aroma and finally, vanilla is an antidepressant and aphrodisiac 😉.
After I scrub myself for a few minutes I rinse the granules with warm water but do not wash off the oil. The oil moisturizes and gives the necessary slip for a gentle, close shave! I find that it works much better than any cream/gel I’ve tried.
Once I’m done shaving I use a wooden foot file to maintain my pedicure and proceed to rinse off the mask (if I haven’t already done that) and my hair.
Finally I use the John Masters Organics blood orange body wash. It’s gentle and natural yet effective and it smells delicious 😋
Before I towel dry my body, and while I’m still in the shower, I use coconut oil all over. Except from deeply moisturizing, it has antibacterial properties that keep body breakouts at bay!
Once I’m dry I’ll proceed normally with the rest of my skincare routine! I also like to apply aloe Vera gel at my bikini line to prevent razor irritations. To ensure ultra soft skin I apply a body cream ( I LOVE the Kiehl’s mom and baby moisturizer) and a foot and hand cream. I’ll cover my feet in gel-lined socks and use cuticle oil around my nails.
That was it babes! Remember to always take some extra time for yourself ❤️👸🏼
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