I'm currently helping my favorite cousin exit an abusive relationship, and a big part of the process has been talking to her about radfeminism and separatism. she was asking me about my thoughts on "sugaring" yesterday, particularly in situations where you are expected to be a pretty face but not to have sex with him.
she seems to be under the delusion that at least some men would look for such a sugar baby just to have a partner to really admire and respect and shower in appreciation, "like a goddess." when I asked why they'd need a sugar baby to do all that, she said something like, "well a lot of people are just independent and want to do everything for themselves, you know?" as if it isn't incredibly easy to find women who would literally die to have a man genuinely respect and admire them.
I told her my honest thoughts (pretty much what I said above), but would love to add some of yours, too! I've found that when I also ask yall your thoughts, I often get some uniquely insightful replies and also some great resources, book recommendations, etc.
edit: please see my reblog providing a bit more info/context! in short: my cousin doesn't really need the money, she's thinking about it more bc she feels that it would make her feel in control/powerful/respected.
and I did tell her this was rather unrealistic, basically delusional - she listens to me and looks up to me & my wife, so we do have a lot of potential to guide her in a safer direction, thankfully
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Respect yourself, and everyone will respect you.
It's a simple rule but it works. If you show up in the world as someone who respect themselves, that stick to their boundaries and is able to raise their voices to express their boundaries, you will be respected. And treated with respect.
A simple equation.
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Rule One.
The feminine energy respects itself when it’s protected! Do not allow people into your spirit, your vortex, your world, your space, your heart, your life, your mind and lastly your body that disrespects, devalues and breaks the boundaries you set for yourself. Dismissal of such behaviour should be automatic!
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What do you recommend for hair removal? Do you know any tips or tricks for getting longer term full Body (everywhere) and upper lip & face hair removal with no pain?
In terms of hair removal methods, I recommend the following:
Sugaring: Full body and upper lip
Dermaplaning: Face and upper lip
Laser Hair Removal: Any hair removal you have the budget, time, and pain threshold to afford
Tips For Less Painful Hair Removal:
Use a topical lidocaine numbing cream (I recommend Zensa Numbing Cream, which is made to use on sensitive areas like the bikini line or lips). I especially recommend using a numbing cream for laser hair removal!
In lieu of a topical lidocaine numbing cream, I would take an Advil or another ibuprofen medication as instructed before your hair removal treatment
Avoid alcohol 24-48 hours before your treatment (caffeine too, if possible), and drink plenty of water within 24 hours of your hair removal appointment
Exfoliate and moisturize your skin before & after your hair removal treatment. Don't exfoliate too soon after a hair removal appointment (how to irritate your skin 101)
Apply an ice pack or cold compress immediately after hair removal
Use aloe vera or coconut oil after a hair removal treatment to soothe the skin and reduce irritation or bumps
Avoid sun exposure before and after a hair removal treatment (timeframes depend on the type of treatment)
Don't wear tight clothes, go swimming, take hot baths, or engage in any sweaty activity immediately after a hair removal treatment
Avoid using any skincare products (or haircare you removed hair on your face) containing fragrance/perfumes on your skin for at least a few days after treatment
Don't use makeup or spray tan on your skin after hair removal
Never go to a hair removal appointment hungry, stressed, when experiencing PMS or while on your period – all of these bodily states can lower your pain tolerance and make the treatment feel worse than it otherwise would
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Make your moves in silence.
You will attract less jealousy, and you'll be able to focus on your plan.
Let the success do the noise as we say !
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Still looking for a bitch in the bay area to be my vacation sub. I'll be staying in the area for a couple weeks in April and I'll have some hefty bills for you to pay. Pay for my gas, pay for my food, pay for my hotel. Bring me takeout to my hotel and leave it at the door for me. Kneel in the hall and wait until you've slipped enough cash under the door for me to stick my socked foot out for you to rub. If I see enough green (and blue bands) you'll even get a whiff.
Now come on, who's ready to give me what I deserve?
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