twdemonjizz
† I Wanna Fucking Tear You Apart †
Affiliated with FRW.
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texts from last night! meme
[text] He’s like… An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It’s almost unsettling
[text] I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I’ve found the One.
[text] Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while… if you happen to find your balls then join us
[text] and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered “Simba”
[text] so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
[text] Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
[text] Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
[text] We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sounds logical. Thank you daylight savings.
[text] when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was “chug-a-lug”
[text] There’s a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
[text] Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
[text] My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
[text] Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
[text] Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
[text] He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
[text] we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I’ve ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
[text] I’ve replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
[text] Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
[text] Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
[text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
[text] I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how’s your day going?
[text] We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What’s wrong with this tradition?
[text] all i’ve had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
[text] Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don’t exist?
[text] Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
[text] I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
[text] You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
[text] im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
[text] I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
[text] I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
[text] you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
[text] We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
[text] maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
[text] i think its awesome that according to your mom i’m your friend that caught on fire.
[text] So fucked up. Can’t tell if I’m starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
[text] you traded sex for a burrito?
[text] I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
[text] You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
[text] it’s not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
[text] You’re always adorable, but when you’re drunk, you’re like Chia Pet adorable.
[text] this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
[text] I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
[text] I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old’s Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
[text] It’s like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it’s gummy bears and instead of milk it’s vodka.
[text] we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying “i mean who doesn’t like cheetos”
[text] quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
[text] I left a cheeto on everyone’s car trailing to the house i’m at, hanzel and gretel style.
[text] nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
[text] When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
[text] kinda considering buying a life alert for sophomore year
[text] My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
[text] Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
[text] you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing ‘follow the yellowbrick road’. i’m pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
[text] It’s like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
[text] The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
[text] I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
[text] You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
[text] Because when I say ‘You shouldn’t drink anymore’, she hears, ‘I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks’
[text] so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
[text] You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
[text] never. drinking. again.
[text] got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
[text] I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
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Sentence Meme sentences
"Are you crazy?”
"Are you even listening to me?"
"Are you even listening to yourself?"
"Are you sure they won’t find out?”
"Are you sure this is legal?”
"Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
"Are you threatening me?"
"Be mine."
"Do I know you?"
"Do you love me?"
"Do you remember this?"
"Do you trust me?"
"Don’t go."
"Don’t let me die"
"Don’t look at me like that."
"Don’t make me beg.”
"Don’t you dare come near me!"
"Don’t you dare."
"Explain yourself."
"For you, I would _____"
"Give it back."
"Give me another chance."
"Have you ever even done this before?"
"How drunk are you right now?"
"I already regret this."
"I am not wearing that.”
"I can’t believe you missed that."
"I can’t do this anymore."
"I can’t even look at you."
"I could kill you!"
"I dare you." or "I dare you to _____."
"I didn’t do it.""
"I didn’t know you could do that."
"I don’t want to look at you right now.”
"I guess this is goodbye.”
"I hate you."
"I have to go."
"I just want to cuddle."
"I know your secret.”
"I love you, but I really wish I didn’t.”
"I love you."
"I miss you so very much."
"I missed you."
"I need a drink."
"I need a hug."
"I never really loved you."
"I owe you."
"I think I broke it."
"I think I’m falling in love with you. "
"I think I’m forgetting something."
"I think it’s broken.”
"I trust you."
"I want to be yours."
"I want to try this thing I read in a book.”
"I want you. Naked. In my bed. Now."
"I’ll be there in five minutes.”
”This is really inappropriate.”
"I’m all for spicing thing’s up, but isn’t this a bit much?”
"I’m bad for you.”
"I’m dying."
"I’m going to be sick."
"I’m not speaking to you anymore."
"I’m pregnant and it’s yours."
"I’ve never heard that one before."
"If you stay quiet, no one will know.”
"Is that my shirt?"
"It was me"
"It’s so beautiful.”
"It’s time to choose.”
"Just five more minutes."
"Just go."
"Just leave me alone."
"Just let me die."
"Just relax."
"Just what did we do last night?"
"Kiss me you idiot."
"Kiss me."
"Make me."
"Marry me?"
"My Parents don’t know"
"My parents know.""
"Never again."
"Nh, don’t be so rough!"
"No, that can’t be my baby."
"No! You can’t die on me now!"
"Put it away.”
"Put your trousers on!"
"Put. The. Weapon. Down."
"Shut up and listen."
"Take responsibility."
"That isn’t mine."
"That looked easier on TV."
"That sounds painful."
"That was a bad plan."
"That’s mine!”
"That’s the cheesiest pickup line I’ve ever heard."
"They’re coming.”
"This seems familiar."
"This stays between us."
"Truth hurts, don’t it?"
"Want to hear a secret?"
"We need to talk."
"We’re moving too fast.”
"Well that was unexpected."
"What are we doing here?"
"What are you afraid of?"
"What are you touching?"
"What are you?"
"What do you need?"
"What happened to you?"
"What have I done this time?"
"What if someone catches us?”
"What sort of noise was that?”
"What the hell do you think you’re doing?"
"What were you thinking?"
"Where are my clothes?"
"Where did you find this?"
"Where do you even find this sort of thing?”
"Where were you?"
"Who’d have guessed you could pull such a face?”
"Why are you wearing that?"
"Why yes, I am as think as you drunk I am."
"You could have died!”
"You could have killed someone!"
"You coward."
"You don’t need to be so gentle.”
"You drive me crazy!"
"You have ten minutes, so make it quick.”
"You lied to me!"
"You mean everything to me."
"You owe me."
"You. Come. Snuggle. NOW!"
"You’re all out of ____."
"You’re an idiot.”
"You’re bad for me.”
"You’re dead to me."
"You’re pregnant and It’s mine"
"You’re really good at this…”
"You’re so weird.""
"You’re under arrest."
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{ Sarcastic Sincerity | closed }
Sometimes Henrietta felt generous.
And apparently today was that day.
She walked solemnly down the hospital corridor, heels clicking softly with each step, phone in her hand as she tapped away on it. She tried not to associate with people from the mental and physical hell that was school, but then again.
It wasn't everyday that people got shot.
To be honest, when rumor came around that Cartman shot Craig, she wasn't surprised. He was a mamas boy with a god complex. Any number of things could pull that trigger. It wasn't an original thought but really, she felt like the fatass could do with some due justice and finally get his ass handed to him.
But this wasn't about Cartman.
It was about Craig. Craig who she was apathetic towards, but still wasn't apathetic enough to not come see him in his time of need. Craig, who she admired his aggression towards the conformist constrictions of society and everyone. She could always appreciate people who could raise a middle finger to authoritative figures.
Dark eyes flicked up from her phone to the room numbers.
113.
She sighed heavily and put her phone in the pocket of her jacket and gently pushed the door open, her gaze going right to the bed and the asshole stuck in it.
"Heard you were stupid enough to get shot."
#twmiddlefinger#craig o1;#{ after thirty years here it is im so sorry#also i hope this is good enough }
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i really have no idea what to post here so i guess.. like and ill write a starter?
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WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?
"Somewhere that isn't this stupid shithole is ideal."
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{ art i did of henrietta for another au, but since its the same age as she is here i... guess i can use it?? if not.. //shrugs }
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i pretend that i’m nicer than i’ll ever be
i am selfish and deluded, enjoy my hypocrisy
complain that i’m bored when being bored is a privilege
act like i’m suffering, there is no suffering in this
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