for some reason even just being on this blog feels like home

hey guess what. one of my shitty fantrolls is gonna be canon

time to reinstall my funny bone so i can win me some good fuckin cash AND make one of my shitty fantrolls canon

i shoulda been born rich cause ive got the demeanor of a sugar daddy

hi my names dave strider and IM DYING

send ur money to keep me alive to [email protected] and i swear it 100% goes to keepin me alive and not egregiously spendin it on john

A Friendly Reminder

- Deadpool is insecure - Deadpool has chronic pain - Deadpool is submissive in bed - Deadpool is pansexual - Deadpool lifts up his mask so Hawkeye can read his lips - Deadpool is a blonde - Deadpool’s initials are WWW - Deadpool had an abusive father - Deadpool’s mother died from cancer - Deadpool fell in love with a teenager - Deadpool left her because he didn’t want to hurt her - Deadpool had a daughter - Deadpool didn’t believe she was his because she was too beautiful - Deadpool had to be dragged away from his daughter’s dead body by Cap and Wolverine - Deadpool carries Hello Kitty band aids - Deadpool is good with kids - Deadpool can’t be killed by Ghost Rider because he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong - Deadpool hates himself - Deadpool used to curl up in a ball and mumble about his skin hurting - Deadpool is married to the queen of the undead - Deadpool reads his own comics

Conclusion: Wade Winston Wilson is a beautiful man who must be protected.

whoop there it is

that signature ‘im a fucking gay ass mess’ dave strider flirting technique of droppin that shit taped to a goddamn anvil

tag yourself im 5

that feel when ya get into a shift and ya start doin shit like ya did in your tl

oh shit we got a dave shift fam

sound them alarms

call the popo its bouta get angsty and needlessly ironic all up and in here

we gonna crack open a cold one with the enbys and probably die while rantin bout john

i dont say this much about straight adult men who i have never said a word to, but i trust john mulaney

the worst possible thing just happened to me.

I had like……..a strip of fancy deli meat? out on the counter? and left the kitchen for one minute, ONE MINUTE. 

excuse me while I emotionally render what I saw upon returning

can town is closed 2day for some contemplation

ho shit whaddup fam

ya boi lives

I always find it strange when people ain’t as utterly neutral as I am about sensitive topics. I mean I get it, I’ve got trauma comin out my ass, but I’m so numb to it all at this point that I don’t give a right shit what people like or enjoy in fiction. You do you, fam.

LET 👏 RETAIL 👏 EMPLOYEES 👏 SIT 👏