[3.6k] your life comes crumbling down when photos are leaked of your boyfriend making out with another girl. it doesn't help that your other boyfriend seems to be handling it worse than you are by ignoring the world, including you. well, the everyone except his rival.
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It felt like a nightmare.Â
A sick, twisted nightmare that you were waiting to wake up from any minute now. You could imagine it so clearly, shooting up in your bed with the sheets sticking to your sweaty skin and blood roaring in your ears before soft, comforting French words washed over you. You imagined a pair of arms wrapping around you, holding you tight and a pair of lips pressed against the top of your head until you found the courage to speak.
Every cell in your body craved for that to be your reality, but it wasnât.Â
Instead, you were sitting on your bed in the comfort of your fatherâs home with the distant sound of music playing from the kitchen and the curtains pulled back to let the sunshine come through andâwell, a series of photos on your screen that made you feel like you were about to vomit, if you even had anything in your stomach from last nightâs dinner to bring up.
It wasnât often you visited your fatherâs home in Switzerland. But sometimes you craved the normalcy and seclusion of the farmhouse. You craved a few days to just relax, to pretend you were a normal girl with a normal father with a normal life. You liked to play pretend for a few days, and Sebastian always entertained the whole concept because he liked having you around.Â
That was what this trip was supposed to be.Â
With the boys over in the states for the Miami Grand Prix, you had decided against flying out with them. It had been a few months since you had seen your father and, with no great urge to fuck up your body clock with jet lag, you had decided to fly up to Switzerland instead before the boys inevitably returned for Imola.Â
It had been nice. It had been exactly what you needed. It had been the few days you needed to ground yourself, to remember life beyond the constant work and travel. It had been the perfect getaway. Even as a young girl, your life revolved around the paddock with your father racing every other weekend, it was easy to forget a life outside of it all.Â
But right now? Yeah, you really fucking wish the outside world didnât exist at all.Â
Your relationship with your boys was complicated and intertwined and unconventional, but it was yours. You loved each other, you cared for each other, you would do anything for each other. Or at least, that was what you assumed. The day Charles Leclerc and Pierre Gasly entered your life, you thought everything made sense.
Even if it took a few years of beating around the bush and your own feelings to reach that conclusion.Â
You thought your relationship with your boys was one of the key things that made your life so perfect, that made you happy to be the one living it.Â
Until you woke up this morning, rolling over and reaching for your phone to find a flurry of notification banners filling up your screen. It was a mix of messages and mixed calls and mentions from almost every social media app you owned. It was a mess, undistinguishable and baffling to your barely-awake brain. You honestly just expected it to be another fluke, another stupid scandal blossoming out of nothing. It made you want to roll over and fall back asleep before your PR manager inevitably called you.Â
God, you would have preferred a stupid scandal to this.
Instead, you found countless photos and videos of Pierre. He was in a club, most likely celebrating ending up in the points after the race. He was in that white linen shirt you loved on him, the one he always left a little too unbuttoned because he knew it drove you and Charles crazy. But instead of his friends or even Charles by his side, it was some random girl.Â
His hands were all over her. She was pressed up against his front, starry eyed and grinning up at him. His lips were on her lips, her neck, any inch of skin he could kiss. She was laughing and dragging him out of the club. He was smiling and happily following her.
And you felt fucking sick.Â
Not even in your worst nightmares had you imagined something like this, something as horrific and despicable and public as this. Never had you thought Pierreâone of the men you lovedâcould be capable of this. You never thought he could do this to you, to Charles.Â
Charles.Â
Charles who was nowhere to be seen in the videos. Charles who had messaged about having an early night sleep before he flew out to Maranello for Imola prep. Charles who was either asleep, on a plane or sitting in his hotel room in a similar state to you.Â
Fuck, you wished you were with him right now.Â
But you couldnât stop reading the comments, reading the countless articles and tweets and posts about the whole situation. You couldnât bring yourself to ignore the comments from strangers on the internet saying it was about time, that they were glad he got away from you. The ones showing sympathy were even worse because it made this real, it made the whole fucking thing so real.
You hadnât even heard the music from the kitchen stop or the footsteps approaching your bedroom. You hadnât heard the knock or the door slowly creaking open. You couldnât tear your eyes away from the screen until you felt a warm arm wrapping around your shoulders.Â
âShhh, honigbienchen, itâs okay. Let it out, Iâve got you,â Sebastian murmured, his voice soft and sweet and comforting and the exact thing you needed to break down the last of your crumbling walls.Â
You pressed yourself into your fatherâs side as you sobbed, as you mourned the loss of what you believed was a loving and trusting relationship. You let yourself melt into his embrace as he held you close, as he held you together.Â
You didnât fight as he pulled your phone from your grasp, locking it and throwing it somewhere on the bed behind him. You didnât fight as he pulled you closer, your face nuzzled into the crook of his neck as you let the familiar smell of your fatherâs cologneâthe same one he has used since you were a childâwash over you. You didnât fight as he murmured comforting words in German because a part of you hoped he was right, wanted nothing more than your father to be right.Â
You just let yourself break because you knew your father would keep you together.
...
...
The apartment felt like a mockery of the life you once lived.Â
You remember the day the three of you signed the lease, it was one of the happiest days of your life. There were always concerns about moving too fast, about hitting a milestone as big as moving in together so early on in the relationship. But, in all honesty, you didnât see the issues. Call it rose-tinted glasses or call it the truth, but it never felt too soon.
Not for you and your boys.Â
Because the relationship was still new when you moved in, just under a year old, but you had known these boys for years. Your life had been intertwined with racing from the day you were born because of your father, you had seen these boys grow up alongside you. You had been there to see them both enter Formula one. You had been there to see Charles as your fatherâs teammate.Â
You had been there for it all.Â
You had been friends long before you were a couple. You had grown close to Charles in the days your father wore the Ferrari emblem. You had found yourself attached to the boy, bonding with him in a way you never had in previous years. And where Charles was, Pierre was close behind. They were the package deal you thought you had lucked out on.Â
So, moving in together seemed like a baby step in the future the three of you had planned together, a simple necessity as you continued to grow and love and care for each other.Â
Now, it was a painful reminder that the place you called your home was tainted with the memories of a man you once loved. Maybe still loved. You hadnât wanted to delve into those feelings too much yet.
It was empty.Â
You had expected as much, or maybe you didnât. You werenât sure anymore.Â
A small part of you assumed for this to be the moment you woke up from your nightmare. That you would wake up in your bed, slowly blinking your eyes open as you heard the boys laughing away in the kitchen at whatever they were attempting to cook before you woke.Â
Another part of you expected to find Charles here, looking like a mirror reflection of you as you finally fell into his arms, as you received the touch you had been craving from him and him only in the last forty-eight hours.Â
Another part of you expected to find Pierre standing in front of you, despite the reassurance you had received from a few friends at Alpine that the boy hadnât left Miami. You thought maybe he would be here to beg for forgiveness or explain himself. You thought maybe he would at least have the decency to look half as worried as you were about Charlesâ disappearance off the face of the Earth.Â
You didnât know if you were disappointed or relieved that he wasnât here.
With your messages and calls receiving no answer from Charles, you had packed your bags and hopped on the first flight out of Switzerland. Your father had his reservations of you leaving so soon, of you being alone. To be completely honest, you wished you could have stayed in his arms forever and ignore everything.
But you needed to see Charles.Â
You had to see him with your own two eyes because he was the only person in the world who understood what you were going through.Â
To the world, it was just you and Pierre. And you were all okay with that for right now, you were okay with keeping the details and complications of your relationship private until the moment was right.Â
But right now, you fucking despised it. Because the world was so focused on you and on Pierre and on the random girl from the club, but nobody was looking at Charles. Nobody cared about Charles. And despite your relationship being an open secret to the paddock, it seemed not even the people closest to himâhis own fucking teamâknew where he was.
And it fucking terrified you.
Monaco had been your last hope. Your apartment had been a fucking last resort. You were grasping at straws and you were losing your mind and there were a million different things running through your head but you just wanted Charles.Â
There was still a voice in the back of your head reassuring you that he would show up, that he would walk through that door and fall into your arms until you both felt something other than pain right now.Â
You wanted nothing more than for him to come home, to come to you.Â
But forty-eight hours of emotions were wracking through you and you didnât even realise you were falling asleep on the living room couch until your body was too tired to even try sitting up.
...
âŚ
âWhere did you find him?âÂ
âWell, hello to you too.âÂ
You flashed the Dutchman a sheepish smile as a wave of embarrassment washed over you. Your brain had been on a one-track mentality since you received his message, the bleary-eyed sleepiness long gone the second he mentioned Charles. You hadnât even bothered to drive over, far too jittery and worked up to get behind the wheel. You needed the cold air to calm you down.
âSorry, hello,â you greeted as you stepped into his apartment, trying to push down the urge to just grab Maxâs shoulders and shake him until he told you where Charles was. âI justââ
âI know, youâre worried,â he said, his voice softer than you expected. âCâmon, I left him on the couch because he looked comfortable and I didnât want to disturb him.â
You silently followed the boy through the long entrance corridor, your hands clenched into fists at your side to stop yourself from picking at the skin around your nail beds until they were raw and bleeding.Â
You tried to prepare yourself for the sight you were going to see, to prepare for the worst just in case.Â
You hadnât expected him to look soâŚpeaceful.Â
He was sprawled on Maxâs couch like the boy had said, his clothes rumpled and his hair messy butâat first glance, at leastâhe looked okay. But you could see the signs that he was no better than you were. His cheeks were red, like he had been crying a lot, and so was the tip of his nose, like he had been wiping it excessively. He looked worn down, and heavier than usual. Like there was a weight on his shoulders beyond the usual season stress.Â
He looked like he was half as put together as you.
âI found him outside a bar,â Maxâs voice startled you out of your thoughts as he stepped into the space beside you at the bottom of the couch. âI was on a late night runâyou know, jet lag and stuffâand he was there. He wasâŚâÂ
You frowned a little, turning to look at the Dutchman. âHe was what?âÂ
âHe wasnât okay,â Max whispered with his own frown. âHe could barely string a sentence together, let alone stand up. I think he had been kicked out of the bar, I donât know. I promised him I would call you if he came back with me. IâŚI couldnât just leave him there, you know?âÂ
You swallowed the lump in the back of your throat. âThank you, Max.â
âItâs no problem, really,â he assured you and the silence fell between you two once more. And Max watched as your attention shifted back to Charles. He waited a few moments, a mental debate playing in his head, back and forth like a tennis match before he spoke up again. âIâm sorry. About everything. ItâŚuh, it really sucks.â
You couldnât bring yourself to look at him. âThanks.âÂ
Max took the hint and quickly shifted the conversation. âIt doesnât look like he is waking up anytime soon,â he said. âYou can stay the night. The spare room is free. Or I can bring some blankets out here if you donât want to leave him.â
You turned to him, a strained smile on your face. âYou donât have toââ
âItâs okay,â he assured you, and something in you felt relieved that you wouldnât have to return home to that bed, the bed you shared with him. âItâs late anyways. You look like you need some rest.â
You chose to omit the fact that you hadnât slept more than a few hours in the last few days, and even that was after crying yourself to exhaustion.Â
âThank you, Max. Really.âÂ
The Dutchman smiled. âLike I said, itâs no problem.â
...
âŚ
When Charles woke up the next morning, his head was killing him.
There was a bright light on his face, his mouth felt desert dry and he could have sworn there was a heavy weight on his chest. Not the metaphorical kind he had been lugging around for the last few days, but something actually weighing down on his chest and making it a little hard to breathe.
He gave himself a moment, tried to ground himself and hype himself up to open his eyes when he knew the light would only be more irritating than it was now. He tried to prepare himself for the killer hangover he was going to have to nurse all day, along with the countless calls to his team to apologise for not showing up to any of the meetings.Â
To eventually reply to you too.Â
However, when Charles finally gained the courage to open his eyes, the last thing he expected was to see a cat staring down at him.Â
âWhat theââ He startled as he quickly sat up.Â
The cat let out a noise of surprise before meowing, glaring at him before it padded off. Charles watched it for a few moments before blinking, taking in the unfamiliar setting around him. He knew he wasnât in his apartment, or his motherâs, or either of his brothersâ.Â
He had no fucking idea where he was.Â
But before the overwhelming fear took over his body and made him throw up everything he drank the previous night, you wandered into the room with a mug in hand.Â
âYouâre awake,â you breathed out, stopping mid-walk like you couldnât quite believe he was there.Â
Charles opened his mouth to say something but you reacted faster. The mug was abandoned on the coffee table he had failed to notice and you were throwing yourself in his arms, clinging onto him like you hadnât seen him in years.Â
It had felt like it had been years.
Charles let himself wind his arms around you, to pull you onto his lap and nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck until the familiar scent of your shampoo completely engulfed him. He let himself enjoy the feeling of you in his arms after almost two weeks of not seeing you in person. He let himself enjoy the one person in this world that didnât make him feel like questioning everything in his life.Â
âIâm sorry,â he whispered, his voice cracking. âIâm so sorryââ
âShhh, itâs fine,â you whispered back, sniffling back your own tears. âItâs fine. Youâre here now, thatâs what matters.âÂ
âButââ
âI just need you, Charles, no matter how long you take,â you murmured, your words slightly muffled but his arms tightened around you in understanding.Â
Neither of you said anything for a few minutes, just soaking in the presence after so long apart. And, if he was being honest, he was in no rush to speak about everything. It had been playing on his mind like a broken record since he saw the videos, he didnât want to give it any more brain space. He knew it was inevitable, but right now he just wanted to enjoy you.Â
âWhere are we?â He asked eventually when the curiosity and the cat glaring at him became too much.Â
âMaxâs house,â you murmured, feeling the boy tense beneath you. You pulled back, keeping yourself close as you flashed the boy a sheepish expression. âHe found you last night and brought you here before something happened to you.â
âOh.â Charles blinked. âThat was kind of him.âÂ
âVery,â you nodded in agreement. You watched him for a few moments as he stared around the living room before you continued talking. âMy team messaged me.â
Charles swallowed. âYeah?â
âThey want to know what our plan is,â you whispered. You didnât need to say more than that, Charles understood.Â
âI donât know,â he admitted.
âVal thinks it will backfire,â you murmured, looking down at your hands instead of his face. âIf we are seen together too much.âÂ
Charles tensed.Â
âThe media might spin a story about me moving on fromââ You paused, his name unable to pass your lips.Â
âCan we justâŚnot talk about this right now?â Charles whispered, his voice uncharacteristically vulnerable. âI justâŚitâs too much.â
âOkay,â you whispered with a nod.Â
âWe will handle it,â Charles assured you as he reached for your hand. Because he knew you, he knew the whole thing was eating you up and it didnât help pushing the conversation away. But he needed to be in the right state for itânot half-drunk from the night before. âTogether. I promise.â
You sniffled, squeezing his hand. âTogether.âÂ
âYou two want pancakes for breakfast?âÂ
Both of your heads snapped around to find Max by the door, a kind smile on his face. He paused when he took a look at the both of you, probably noticing the solemn faces and red eyes and instantly looking embarrassed.Â
âIâm sorry, did I just ruin a moment?âÂ
You shook your head. âNoââ
âWe would love pancakes,â Charles finished for you, trying to focus on your hand in his rather than the fact he was sitting on the couch of the man he had been competing with for a majority of his life. âCoffee is on us. As a thank you.âÂ
Max waved him off. âItâs fineââ
âWe insist,â you said firmly.Â
Max glanced between you before nodding. âOkay,â he said. âBut Iâm only saying yes because you two seem very stubborn and Iâm not awake enough to deal with that.âÂ
And for the first time in over forty-eight hours, you had the oddest urge to laugh.
âWanna order the coffee together?â
âTogether.â
You werenât sure what would happen next. You didnât know what you were going to tell Val or the rest of your team. You didnât know what Charlesâ team would say. You didnât know what the fuck you were going to do when you eventually saw Pierre again, when you had to sort out the fact you technically shared a flat with him.
But right now, your biggest issue was figuring out which coffee Max Verstappen liked and it was a kind distraction to your messy life.
Especially with the assurance that Charles was by your side.
.
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â 'someone finally cares about you' prompts.
by @ricesinspo, credits appreciated!
[â
] they wrapped their arms around you - you can't remember the last time someone hugged you like this.
[â
] getting pulled aside while everyone else is yelling at you. they get you like none of the others do; they know not to yell.
[â
] patiently listening to all of your problems. like actually listening.
[â
] ^ with no judgement.
[â
] they notice whenever something's wrong.
[â
] letting you cry into their arms. telling you it's okay, everything is okay - and you know it's true because they're with you.
[â
] letting you cry at all; realizing you don't have to hide your tears in front of them.
[â
] "in a world where people don't care about me, i'm lucky to have you."
[â
] ^ and then they're like "who hurt you" / "where are your __ i just want to talk" lmao
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â đ¤ ââË・â
⥠summary: just a lovely morning with your boyfriend.
⥠content: very fluffy, clingy jude, established relationship, short, around three hundred words.
⥠notes: had this in my drafts for a while, so thought i should post this because i have too many. requests are open:))
⥠streaming: tip toe by hybs.
⥠masterlist.
mornings with jude were usually hectic and far from peaceful. you would quickly get ready for your respective commitments and barely have any time for each other before rushing out the door.
but today was different. it was friday, and jude had been granted a few days off due to a shoulder injury. despite the unfortunate circumstances, jude was excited about the prospect of spending the entire day with you.
his plan was to stay in bed all morning, cuddling and making up for lost time, if you know what i mean. however, you had other plans in mind.
you were accustomed to waking up early and being productive. so as you attempted to free yourself from judeâs firm hold, he unconsciously grunted, his body pressing against yours.
nevertheless, you paid no attention to his murmurs and left the bed, causing jude to grumble even more.
âcome back to bed,â he pleaded, his voice filled with desperation. you couldnât help but find it endearing how much he longed for you. âiâm tired,â he added, lightly tapping your pillow.
deciding to tease him, you donned an exaggerated pout and adopted a whiny tone, as if speaking to a child. âoh, youâre tired? iâm so sorry baby, it must be so difficult for you.â
jude expressed his annoyance, stating, âactually, scratch that. when i said i was tired, what i really meant was that iâm tired of you being a sarcastic little shit.â
you chuckled, returning to the bed with a gentle smile. âwell, iâm your sarcastic little shit.â you playfully remarked, giving him a quick kiss on the lips.
jude seized the chance to embrace you, shifting his position so that he loomed over you with his much larger frame, making you nearly invisible beneath him.
âjude!â you gasped for breath, âdo need to remind you that youâre six feet tall? youâre not exactly on the small side!â
he seemed unfazed by the fact that his weight was completely crushing you, and retorted mockingly, âiâm actually six foot one, baby.â
rolling your eyes, you chose not to respond and surrendered to judeâs agenda for the day.
to be fair, it wasnât too bad at first. however, once his snoring started again, all you desired was to kick him from the bed.
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if you ever date trent (hello deluluâŚ)what nickname would you give him?
u and trent just recently started dating and havenât given each other nicknames yet. so ur basically calling him his name like usual. but one day, as ur having dinner with trent, he has the salt, so you ask him to pass it to you. âcan u pass me the salt, baby?â and trentâs heart is like doing backflips cause he didnât expect to like being baby that much. he gives u a lovesick look and asks u to say it again. ur confused and repeat the question, and heâs like âno, add baby, i wanna hear you call me babyâ and ur finding him so ridiculous cause itâs just a nickname? but this man is whipped. later, he wouldnât allow to be called anything but baby. like if he hears you calling him by his first name, heâd assume somethingâs wrong or ur angry w him. he wouldnât tolerate anything other than baby, basically.
i also adore the nickname âteenoâ i heard of it a few years back and never forgot abt it. i also feel like trent would like to be called that, just so cute.
(feel free to send more requests đŤś)
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apparently there is truth to the rumors mase hasnât been playing due to mental health issues (related to how chelseaâs higher ups,media and fans treated him) i work in tv industry so iâve been told this by someone who works for chelsea and another person who works in tv industry as well. reminder that footballers are also human beings and should be treated accordingly â¤ď¸
hope mase is doing well đŤśâšď¸
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â đ¤ ââË・â (part two to stupidly in love with you)
⥠summary: after being banned from the next match, jude decided to drown his sorrows in alcohol. as you accompanied him on his way home, he shared something with you.
⥠content: friends to lovers, very fluffy, mentions of kissing, no cliffhanger this time, around nine hundred words.
⥠streaming: better by zayn.
⥠masterlist, part one, part two.
escorting jude back to his home was quite tiring and draining. it felt like you had walked for ages until you finally managed to get him to bed.
jude quickly fell asleep, dozing off as soon as his head touched the pillow. you couldnât help but smile softly at the sound of his snores, although it quickly faded as you noticed the mess in his room.
being someone who values cleanliness, you promptly began tidying up judeâs room, making sure to be as quiet as possible. you didnât want to risk waking him, especially considering how intoxicated he was. you didnât want him to start rambling endlessly again.
after folding the last of the numerous t-shirts strewn on the floor, you closed the closet and were just about to leave his room when jude unexpectedly grabbed your wrist as you walked by the bed.
you were taken aback as jude quietly uttered, âdonât go..â
you couldnât fathom how jude had sensed your intention to leave, but you knew he wouldnât provide a clear explanation as he was about to drift off to sleep again.
âuhm, jude, i need to head home. itâs really late.â you whispered, trying to gently release his hold on your wrist, but was left astonished by his strength even in his drowsy state.
jude struggled to contain his emotions and actions, but he was certain about one thing - he wanted you to stay with him. he longed for your presence, not just tonight, but every night.
âdonât leave, please..â he murmured, his eyes opening to reveal a pleading gaze that instantly melted your hopeless heart.
jude was your achhillesâ heel, and you despised the power he held over you.
typically, you wouldnât hesitate to share a bed with jude. it had occurred a few times during your friendship, like on vacations or when he traveled for football.
however, this time was different. because this time he confessed his feelings for you.
but, seeing him so vulnerable was agonizing, and it pained you physically.
in a moment of weakness, you gave in, sighing as you slipped under the covers. thhe warmth from both the blanket and judeâs body heat enveloped you.
he wasted no time in clinging to you and you made no effort to push him away, exuding excitement like a little boy who had just been given candy. your heart started racing, and heat crept up your cheeks. there was no way you could drift off to sleep in this state.
the room fell into a brief silence before jude broke it, his voice sounding more alert. âi wasnât lying, you know... when i said i love you.â
his voice resonated with such sincerity that it tugged at your heart. as you lay on your side, your gaze fixated on the man who held your deepest affections. the intensity in his eyes implored you to trust him, to believe in his words.
curiosity compelled you to pose a question, testing the depths of his emotions. âwhen did you first realize that you loved me?â you inquired.
without hesitation, jude responded with unwavering honesty. âiâve loved you for longer than i care to admit, y/n. perhaps it was that night we spent together in greece, or the time you told me i was the one you trusted most. but i was afraid of ruining what we had, or lose you, so i kept my feelings to myself.â
his heartfelt admission crashed over you like a powerful wave, leaving you stunned and overwhelmed. your cheeks flushed, and you found it difficult to maintain eye contact, fearing that your emotions would be too transparent.
for years, you had convinced yourself that jude would never view you in a romantic light.
he had been involved with other women, introducing you to so many that you had lost all hope for a romantic connection between the two of you.
the realization that jude reciprocated your feelings brought both a sense of bliss and trepidation. it was a mix of emotions - the joy of knowing that you no longer had to conceal your love, and the fear of what this newfound vulnerability might entail.
âyou wonât ruin or lose me,â you assured him, reclaiming your gaze and locking it with his. determined to convey your reciprocal feelings, you boldly caressed his cheek, bridging the distance between your lips.
a sudden hitch in his breath revealed his anticipation and exhilaration coursing through his veins.
âyouâll always have me, jude.â you whispered before finally uniting your lips with his, cherishing the electrifying sensation that passed between you.
judeâs initial surprise quickly faded as he responded with equal fervor. he settled the rhythm of the kiss into a tranquil and unhurried rhythm, as if he wanted to savor every moment. it became evident that jude had no intention of letting you slip away after this. he was determined to make you his, forever.
the sensation of his lips against yours surpassed any expectations you had. it felt like pure bliss, surpassing even your wildest imagination. in this moment, you wished that time would stand still, never allowing you to return to a time before experiencing the euphoria of his kiss.
with a gentle separation, you finally uttered the words he longed to hear:
âi love you too.â
judeâs face broke into a triumphant grin, his heart leaping with joy. he had sensed your reciprocation from the moment your lips met, but he couldnât contain his excitement.
lovingly pressing a kiss against the tip of your nose, he responded with a tender smile, âi know, baby. i know.â
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Lavender Haze
Oscar Piastri x insomniac!reader
Masterlist / Tangerine Pt 1 / Pt 1.5 / Pt 2
Summary: Oscar canât sleep. The two of you try to find a solution. // A continuation of Tangerine
Word Count: 4.7k
a/n: well. I wrote smut. I reserve the right to delete this later if I decide itâs bad. but here you go! more tangerine verse!
Warnings: insomnia, sexual content (smut)
18+! minors do not interact! thank you
Itâs a Tuesday, and Oscar hasnât slept in nearly 48 hours. You know this because youâve been with him for most of those 48 hours, and you also havenât slept. Thatâs not that abnormal for you, but youâre unsure of how Oscarâs functioning.
Heâs just finished up a meeting, and youâre wrapping up the last of your duties for the day. Thereâs a knock on your office door, and Lando pokes his head in with a worried look on his face.
âHi,â he says. âCute office. Um. I think maybe Oscar could use a ride home.â
âIâm fine,â your boyfriend calls from the hallway,
You raise your brows. Lando sighs and kicks the door open all the way. Oscar is standing behind him, leaning against the wall. His hair is fluffy and disheveled. His hands are tucked into the sleeves of his hoodie. There are dark circles under his eyes. You wince.
âThanks, babe,â Oscar says in response to the look on your face.
âMate, you havenât slept in two days, of course you look like shit,â Lando teases.
âYou donât look like shit,â you say, and Oscar forces a smile. âYou just look exhausted.â
He was supposed to sleep on the flight back from Brazil to England. Youâd stayed awake on the plane, unable to get your brain to shut off. Between the crazy schedule of the triple header, the changes in time zones, and his overall stress, Oscar had the same problem. Then, when the two of you got to his apartment, it had been impossible for him to sleep. His internal clock is all fucked up.
âI am exhausted,â he admits, rubbing at his eyes blearily. âDunno how you do this all the time.â
He walks into your office, eyes darting around to all the corners. There are plants on the windowsill, a photo of you and Oscar in Tokyo pinned up on the corkboard. He smiles as he sits down in the chair across from your desk. Then he reaches and grabs the unopened Red Bull off your desk.
âOsc,â you scold, as Lando makes a noise of horror. âThatâs the last thing you need right now.â
âI feel like a zombie,â he says.
âRight, and zombies canât drive, so,â Lando says, pulling a set of keys from his pocket.
Oscarâs keys. You know Landoâs right when he hands them to you over Oscarâs head, and Oscar tries to grab them, but heâs about ten seconds behind. Itâs like his brain is buffering with an insane amount of lag. Your heart aches for him.
âOkay,â you say, closing the laptop. âI think Landoâs right. I think we should get you home.â
âIâm fine,â he says, again.
He goes to say something else but gets caught up in a yawn. You reach out and take the Red Bull from his hand. He sighs. You turn to Lando.
âIâve got him,â you tell his teammate.
âThanks,â Lando says, and then he disappears into the hallway.
You lead Oscar out of the office shortly after that. He asks to make a stop in the break room for coffee, and you refuse. At work, the two of you are pretty hands off with each other, trying to keep things professional. But this time you grab his wrist lightly and lead him out to the parking lot. You decide to take your car and leave his here- thereâs no way you trust yourself driving his car.
Oscar is quiet on the way to his apartment. He sits in the passenger seat- an odd occurrence for him. He takes your free hand in his and knits your fingers together. You brush your thumb over his skin soothingly. Normally heâd be mentioning things on the road, or pestering you about your driving, but he doesnât. Youâre a bit worried, really.
You donât push him on it until youâre in the elevator up to his place. âYouâre quiet. You okay?â
He frowns. âIâm just⌠this is what you feel like. Constantly.â
You sigh, your shoulders dropping. He squeezes your hand. You nudge your shoulder against his.
âNot always,â you remind him. âI slept really well for a couple weeks there. And Friday night.â
âI was really hoping that sound machine would work,â he says with a huff.
âI know,â you murmur.
The elevator doors open for his floor, and he follows you to his flat and into the entryway. If you didnât already know, youâd be able to tell how tired he is from the way he leaves his things haphazardly in the hallway. He kicks off his shoes in front of the door, drops his backpack on the floor next to them, and tosses his jacket further down the hall. When you turn and give him a look, eyebrows raised, he covers a yawn with his hand.
âYou should eat dinner,â you suggest. You reach to brush your thumb against his flushed cheek. âWhy donât you hop in the shower and Iâll start making us something.â
Oscar sighs, takes a couple unsteady steps towards you. He holds his arms out as he leans, trusting you to catch him. You do, your accompanying laugh muffled into his shoulder. He wraps his arms around you and lets out a long groan.
âOr we could just go to bed,â he says, voice scratchy.
âNo, you need dinner,â you insist. âAnd a shower.â
âWhat, do I stink?â
âNo comment.â
Oscar laughs and pulls away. He holds you at armâs length. âOkay. Shower, dinner, bed?â
You nod.
âWhat are the chances tonight?â He asks.
You sigh and shrug. âMaybe a 7?â
âNot bad,â he says. âWe can work with 7.â
Heâd started asking you that question shortly after you first made it official. What are the chances you can fall asleep tonight? Higher numbers are better. A one means an all nighter, likely too wound up to even sit in bed with him. A 5 means you might doze on and off, likely after heâs already fallen asleep. A ten is laying down and passing out when your head hits the pillow. None of the nights so far have been a ten.
He wanders off to go take a shower, and you head to the kitchen to raid the cupboards. You still have your own apartment, but when Oscarâs here, you stay with him pretty often. You go to the races, but often fly out on different days than him due to promo events, so the two of you take your time together when you can get it.
Luckily, heâs had groceries delivered, so thereâs plenty for you to work with. You cook some pasta and heat up some garlic bread, knowing if you get him to eat anything itâll have to be quick. Plus, warm and comforting will be good, too. You hear the shower shut off just as youâre draining the pasta. You have it all plated by the time he makes it out to the kitchen, wearing a loose pair of sweatpants and a hoodie.
He walks over and steps up behind you. He wraps his arms around your waist and presses his face to your shoulder blade, letting out a deep sigh. You laugh and reach behind you, running your fingers through his damp hair. He makes a soft, satisfied little noise.
âFood, then sleep,â you promise.
He nods and pulls away, taking the plates to the table with him. The two of you eat quietly, his foot bumping against yours. He sits with his cheek resting on his fist, slouched over the table.
âThanks for dinner,â he mumbles. âDidnât realize how hungry I was.â
You laugh and nudge him lightly with your elbow. âI know.â
After dinner, he convinces you to leave the dishes for tomorrow. He takes you by the hand and drags you to the bathroom, where you brush your teeth together. You do your skincare routines together, and then he drags you to bed. You change into pajamas while he lays down, already burying himself beneath the covers.
You fall into your normal routine. You sit down with a book and a little reading lamp, turning off the overhead lights and the lamp next to the bed. You lean against the headboard while he lays down, his head on the pillow, one arm wrapped around your thigh. You run your fingers through his hair absentmindedly as you read, waiting for him to fall asleep, waiting for yourself to feel drowsy.
Neither of those things happen.
You look down after two chapters. Usually Oscarâs fast asleep by now. His eyes are closed, but he keeps shifting, and his fingers are drawing patterns on the bare skin of your thigh. You brush your thumb against his cheek, and he groans.
âCanât sleep,â he says, opening his eyes and looking up at you.
You pout down at him. âDâyou want me to turn the light off? I can go in the living room if you think thatâd help.â
âNo, the last thing I need is for you to not be here,â he says. âJust canât get my brain to slow down.â
You hum, frowning deeper. You pinch his cheek lightly, then smooth your thumb over the spot. He crawls closer, nudging his head against your hip and letting out a deep sigh. Then he unwinds his arms from around your leg and stretches.
âItâs no useâ he says, rubbing his face harshly. âIâve developed insomnia by osmosis.â
You laugh, rubbing his back lightly. His cheek is squished against your leg, one eye closed. The other one is staring at you. You run your fingers through the hair on the back of his head and sigh.
âI donât think thatâs how it works, babe,â you say. âCome on, thereâs gotta be something thatâll help. Letâs run through all the remedies, yeah?â
You drag him back out to the kitchen and start with chamomile tea. You turn on some calming music in the background, like a lullaby but for a grown man. He drinks the tea on the couch, and you sit next to him, running your fingers through his hair. Itâs the best way you know to calm him. His eyelids donât seem to grow heavy, though, so after a while you move on to the next one- warm milk and honey.
âIf itâs all drinks Iâm just gonna have to pee,â he says grumpily.
Heâs leaning on your shoulder in the kitchen, like he canât hold himself up. You know the feeling- your body gets heavy and tired but your mind doesnât. So you hold onto him and will the milk to work. Of course, it doesnât, and then youâre back to square one.
You find some lavender essential oils, buried in the bottom of your work bag. One of the reasons you hesitate to admit you have insomnia, to even call it that, is because of things like this. Everyone tries to offer you their foolproof home remedy, like you havenât already tried all of them. But Oscar doesnât have full fledged, capital I Insomnia, heâs just got a messed up sleep schedule, so maybe itâll help. You tug the neck of his shirt down to rub it on his chest, and then you add some to his wrists too.
âSmells nice,â he says, softly. He blinks. âThereâs lavender in your shampoo, isnât there? Smells familiar.â
You blink right back at him. âYeah. There is.â
It shouldn't be surprising that he recognizes the smell of your shampoo, but somehow it is. Itâs endearing, sweet to think about.
The lavender doesnât seem to help, so you move on. Heâs already tried a warm shower, so thatâs checked off the list, and heâs eaten warm food too. You pull him back to the bedroom and direct him back onto the bed. He lays on his stomach, which is what you were going to have him do anyways, but you make a little noise and tell him to sit up. You sit down on the bed next to him and shove at his hoodie.
âHow about a massage?â You suggest.
It doesnât take him long to take his shirt off after that suggestion. Oscar has Kim to help him stretch and loosen up during the race weekends, so youâve never really suggested this. You wonder why you havenât as he lays down and sighs happily. His toned back is spread out on the bed in front of you, the tan line painting a stark difference on his skin. You want to trace the outline of every muscle, but you refrain, even as he puts his hands above his head and you watch the way his arms flex. You grab some lotion, throw your leg over his hip so youâre straddling his upper thighs, and get to work.
Youâre happy to have the chance to drag your hands along every inch of his skin, and it does seem to be working. That is, if the soft sighs and groans heâs letting out mean anything, or the way he begins to melt into the bed. You rub his shoulders and see the tension drain from his upper body. You press your hands into his lower spine and feel his muscles soften underneath your hands. His breaths even out and slow down.
You lean over and press a kiss to the back of his neck and whisper, âsâit working?â
He sighs, and when he speaks his voice is low and raspy. âItâs not not working, butâŚâ
You frown. âBut?â
He pulls one hand down from over his head and reaches for your hand. He tilts his hips up and brings your hand down to press against his bulge, and you gasp. Heâs hard, probably almost uncomfortably so. You cup him in your hand and listen to the strained sigh he lets out.
âI was trying not to,â he says, âbecause I was actually starting to get sleepy. But your hands feel so nice, and I could feel you moving, and-â you interrupt him with a soft squeeze of your hand, and he groans loudly. âFuck, baby.â
âI can help with that, you know,â you say, pressing a kiss to his temple. âIâd be happy to. Thrilled, even. Who knows, maybe itâll help you sleep.â
He muffles his laugh into the pillow underneath his head. When you tug at his sweatpants and slip your hand past the waistband, he groans out a âPlease?â
He rolls over under you when you tell him to. You settle yourself back on his upper thighs, letting your eyes roam over his exposed chest. His eyes are half lidded- from drowsiness or arousal, youâre not sure. You run your hands up his sides smoothly. He lets out a whine.
âPlease,â he sighs again.
âWhat do you want, baby?â You ask, pressing your thumbs into the jut of his hips.
He sighs and snuggles down into the bed. Heâs laying on top of the fluffy down comforter, and he seems to sink into it. He blinks up at you and props his arm behind his head.
âI want you to be wearing less clothes,â he says, voice heavy with exhaustion. âAnd then I want you to ride me.â
Heat rolls down your spine. Thereâs something about sleepy Oscar that makes him loose lipped and eager to tell you exactly what it is he wants. You grin down at him as you fiddle with the hem of your t-shirt.
âPlease,â he says again. His brows furrow into a tiny v, and his face looks strained.
You start to tug his shorts down. He sighs happily, props the other arm behind his head, too. Heâs already leaking precum when he finally slips free of the confines of his clothing. You reach out, run a light fingertip up the hard line of him. He shudders underneath your touch. You lean down to press a kiss to the tip, and he yelps.
âMânot gonna last,â he says, voice already raw. âJust want you.â
It doesnât take long, then, for you to do as he asked- lose your clothes and get on top of him. He reaches down when you straddle his waist and slips his hand between your legs, groaning when he feels how wet you are. Normally, heâd insist on giving you at least one orgasm before he even thought about getting to this point, but you know heâs exhausted and youâre aching for him already. You take his cock in your hand and guide it to your center, and his breath catches in his chest when you start to sink down on him.
You know almost immediately heâs right- he wonât last. You can feel him twitch as he bottoms out, and you watch the way his abs clench beneath you. You let out a soft moan at the feeling. His eyes are screwed shut, mouth dropped open. You could stay right here and stare at him for ages.
âFuck, baby,â he gasps, already panting. âSo good.â
When you start to move your hips, he starts to fall apart. His hands fall to hold onto your waist, thumbs pressing into your rib cage. You draw moans and groans out of him,echo them back to him, and practically drool at the way he arches his back and neck and rolls his head against the pillow. Everything feels so intense, like itâs all turned up a notch. You think heâs feeling it too. Itâs the lack of sleep, you think, absently. You should pull all nighters together more often. Youâll tell him later.
Right now, you lean over to kiss him. His tongue is in your mouth almost immediately, messy and uncoordinated but hot nonetheless. You have your hands planted on either side of his head, and he starts to meet your hips with thrusts of his own. His hand slips between your legs again, thumb pressing at your clit, and you know youâre a goner. From the way heâs squirming underneath you, he is too.
You fall apart on top of him, your orgasm washing over you in sweet, warm waves, and you collapse into his chest when you feel him follow closely behind you, his hips bucking up against yours. He wraps his arms around you and holds you close. You rest your head on his heaving chest and breathe him in.
Minutes later, when you try to pull away, he wraps his arms tighter and groans. You laugh.
âOsc, I canât stay here forever, Iâm not that flexible,â you mumble. âAnd we should get cleaned up.â
He lets go, albeit reluctantly. When you pull away and off of him, he lets out a soft whine. You head to the bathroom, clean yourself up quickly and head back to the bedroom with a washcloth.
Heâs laid out on the bed, eyes closed. âMânot asleep yet,â he mumbles. âBut almost.â
Youâre gentle when you clean him up, even more gentle when you tug the blankets out from under him so you can tuck both of you in. You decide clothes can be forgotten about, and you press yourself against his side. He sighs happily, wraps his arm around you, and promptly falls asleep. For once, in a strange turn of events, you follow behind him without much of a delay.
You wake up the next day in the early afternoon. Youâre thankful today is a day off, meant to be a break from the insane schedule youâve held for the last three weeks. Oscarâs off too, so even though youâre awake, you snuggle closer to him and close your eyes while you wait for him to wake up. You drift in and out of sleep, drowsy half dreams dancing behind your eyelids. Itâs the kind of sleep you normally hate, but after sleeping for nearly eleven hours the night before, itâs alright.
Finally, you feel Oscar start to stir, and you know heâs fully woken up when his hand slides down your bare side, his palm landing on your hip. He sighs happily and squeezes at your skin.
âWe should sleep like this more often,â he says cheekily, voice still rough with sleep.
You laugh, turning your head to look at him. His eyes are still closed. âYou wanted to fall asleep inside me last night,â you say teasingly. âThis seemed mild in comparison.â
âYeah, we should revisit that sometime,â he says, pinching your hip just to hear you let out a squeak. Then he rolls towards you and wraps you up in his arms. âGood morning, love.â
âAfternoon, actually,â you mutter against his skin.
âYeah, yeah, we needed it,â he says. âDid you sleep?â
You nod. âPassed out right after you, woke up just a little while ago.â
âWow,â he says, in that signature tone of his. âImpressive.â
The two of you crawl out of bed eventually, heading for the shower together. Heâd suggested it once in a hotel room to save time, insisting that you could both stay in bed longer if you consolidated and showered together. Youâd nearly been late, but itâs become a habit since. He helps you rinse the conditioner from your hair, and you do the same for him. When you get out and wrap yourselves up in towels, he presses his nose to your hair and breathes in.
âNo wonder I sleep so well when youâre here,â he says. âYouâre a walking sleep remedy.â
âThe lavender didnât work on you,â you remind him.
He shrugs, dragging a towel through his wet hair. âMaybe itâs just you, then.â
You spend whatâs left of the day with him, having a late lunch and then heading off for a walk in a nearby park. Itâs chilly, but not unbearably so, and he holds your hand the whole way. As the sun begins to set, you head home, have a light dinner, and settle in to watch a movie. Before itâs even a quarter of the way done, Oscar starts to yawn. By the halfway point, heâs nodding off, his head on your shoulder.
You pause it. âOsc, babe, time for bed, yeah?â
He nods sleepily and curls further into you. Youâre amazed by it, honestly. You donât understand how he can be this tired already. You drag him off the couch and to the bathroom, where you both brush your teeth. Then he takes your hand and pulls you to the bed.
You know before you even lay down that you wonât be able to sleep. But you humor him anyways, because you know he falls asleep easier when youâre there. You curl up in bed with him, careful not to tangle yourself up in his limbs too much. Itâll make it easier to slip away when he falls asleep. He closes his eyes, and you run your hands through his hair and watch him fall asleep.
This is the kind of nice thing about having insomnia- you get a free pass on watching your boyfriend sleep. Thereâs something so endearing about it- the way any of his stress melts from his face, the soft rise and fall of his chest. His cheeks are slightly flushed, and you pull the blankets back just a little, sensing he must be warm. His hair is getting long, and itâs begun to fall in his face, so you smooth it off his forehead.
You do try to go to sleep, laying there with your eyes closed, counting sheep. But it doesnât work, and you get antsy, your whole body buzzing with energy. So you slip out of bed as quietly as you can, leaving him behind with a soft kiss to his forehead. It almost makes you feel guilty, even though you know he understands.
You close the bedroom door and head for the living room. You put the tv on, leaving the volume low. You have specific shows that you watch when you canât sleep. Itâs not that they help, but more so that youâre watching other shows with Oscar, and you donât want to watch without him.
You half watch the tv and half scroll on your phone. You have to be careful when youâre up this late with nothing to do- social media sucks you in, and it can be a dark spiral. You and Oscar arenât public, in the sense that the public hasnât figured out who you are. But they have seen pictures of Oscar with a mystery girl, and they donât seem to like you very much. You avoid twitter at all costs.
Eventually, you get bored with your phone and reach for your book. You turn on the little lamp on the side table and start to read. Around 1am, the words begin to blur on the page. You close your eyes for just a moment, wondering if you might be able to fall asleep, telling yourself if you start to feel drowsy youâll go back to bed. But as soon as your eyes are closed, your thoughts begin to race. You sigh and head for the kitchen.
In Oscarâs fridge, thereâs a supply of tangerine Red Bulls. Youâre pretty sure he got them for free, because they have Max and Checoâs faces all over them, but youâre not going to complain about it. You reach for a can and spin it in your hands, looking for the permanent marker.
Oscar understands the whole energy drink thing a bit more now, but he still worries. Heâs taken to leaving you notes on the cans, because he knows youâre often reaching for them in the dead of night, when heâs asleep and unable to help quiet your mind. This one says: U SO PRETTY <3 in messy scrawl. You think Landoâs been helping him come up with them. Or Logan. Youâre not sure. You smile, snap a quick picture of it, and head back to the couch. Then you settle back in for more reading.
At 2:13 am, you hear a noise from the hallway. Oscar appears in the doorway to the living room a few moments later, rubbing at his eye socket with his knuckles. His hair is in a state of complete disarray, one of the ankles of his sweatpants hiked up much farther on his calf than the other. He covers a yawn with his other hand.
âHi, sleepyhead,â you say, softly. âItâs the middle of the night, whatâre you doing up?â
He shrugs as he stumbles his way to the couch. âWoke up. Reached for you. Went, huh, not here. Came to find you.â
You laugh at his stilted sentences, and the sleep still coating his voice. He grimaces when he spots the can of Red Bull, but doesnât say a word. Instead, he collapses onto the couch, and in the process, onto you. He lays his head on your chest and wraps his arms around you, sighing happily.
âBetter,â he says. âCan I stay for a little bit?â
You laugh and kiss the top of his head. âYou can stay as long as you want.â
âMm. How âbout forever?â He mumbles. Before you can reply, he speaks up again. âWill you read to me?â
âYeah,â you answer, unable to wipe the silly grin off your face. âWe can go to bed if you want. Just didnât want to wake you up.â
He shakes his head and burrows closer. âSâokay. Mâcomfy here. And this way you have the TV.â
So you pull a blanket off the back of the couch, lay it over him, and wrap one arm around him. You try not to think too hard about the way he meets you halfway without you ever having to ask. You open the book with one hand and trace patterns on his back with the other. You read out loud, listening to the little laughs he lets out at the dialogue.
He falls asleep before youâre through a single chapter. When you realize heâs dozed off, you lay the book on his back and listen to the soft sounds of his breathing, feel the weight of him against you and the soft puffs of air that slip over his lips. You trace the shell of his ear, the line of his jaw. You close your eyes, knowing that between the insomnia and the caffeine, you probably wonât fall asleep. But for once, your mind doesnât begin to race. You just bask in the warmth of him, and the comfort of knowing that even in the dead of night, youâre not alone.
a/n: thanks for reading! I missed tangerine!oscar tbh
taglist : @4-mula1 @celestialams @struggling-with-delia @lovekt @i-wish-this-was-me @forzalando @iloveyou3000morgan @ggaslyp1
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⥠summary: after being banned from the next match, jude decided to drown his sorrows in alcohol. as you accompanied him on his way home, he shared something with you.
⥠notes: had this in my drafts over a year and i just had to get it out of there. i thought it was cute, but eh.
⥠content: friends to lovers because who doesnât love this trope đŤśđť, very very fluffy, alcohol mention, jude is stupidly drunk here, reader is sober, around one thousand words, part two?
⥠streaming: delicate by taylor swift.
⥠masterlist.
strolling beside jude, he accidentally collided with you again, causing a burst of laughter that brought a warm smile to your face.
it was clear to anyone seeing jude that he was heavily intoxicated. as a consequence of being banned from the next game, he had decided to indulge in excessive drinking to the point where he could barely walk straight.
your arm was wrapped around his waist, while his rested on your shoulders. the scent of alcohol and the cologne enveloped you, creating a cozy and comforting feeling.
âjude,â you said with a grunt, struggling to maintain your balance. âi canât keep walking like this... weâre going to end up falling.â
ignoring your concerns, jude continued his unsteady stride. it was only a matter of time before he stumbled, as you had anticipated.
without even attempting to assist him, you let go, aware that his strength would likely drag you down too.
âowâŚâ he muttered from the ground, resembling the idiot he is. you sighed, silently resolving never to let him consume such excessive amounts of alcohol again.
the streets were relatively empty, given the late hour, for which you were grateful. if anyone caught sight of jude in his current state, he would undoubtedly become the subject of jokes for weeks.
you lowered yourself to his level, feeling the ache in your feet from the heels you had worn all night. noticing a cut on his knee only added to your exasperation.
âjude, sometimes you act like a complete child.â you murmured quietly, helping the man you helplessly adored in supporting back onto his feet.
âknee⌠bloodâŚâ jude weakly pointed out the blood on his knee, his voice slurred and distant, indicating that he was on the verge of passing out. however, you knew you couldnât take him home without tending to the cut first.
spotting a nearby shop a few steps away, you carefully guided jude and yourself towards it. settling him on a bench outside the shop, you assured him, âiâll be right back.â not expecting much of a response.
as you turned to leave, jude grabbed your wrist, causing you to look back at him in confusion. his pouting lips and pleading eyes melted your heart, leaving you swooning at the adorable sight.
âdonât leave,â he pleaded, his voice barely audible. âi need you.â
you released a gentle sigh, a soft smile gracing your lips. aware that his intoxicated state might have influenced his words, you still couldnât help the rapid beating of your hopeless heart.
âi wonât be gone for long, i promise.â you reassured him.
âpinky promise?â he questioned.
a laugh escaped you, causing jude to misconstrue it as mockery. he glared at you, extending his pinky finger and waiting for yours to join.
âalright, alright,â you composed yourself, intertwining your pinky finger with his.
after assuring jude that you would be back in five minutes, you entered the shop and swiftly purchased a pack of adhesive bandages.
unfortunately, the cashier happened to be a new employee and encountered some difficulties with the machine. as a result, when you returned to jude, he was sitting there with crossed arms.
âseven minutes and ten seconds,â he grumbled. âyou took too long.â
supressing a laugh, aware that it would only annoy jude further, you sat down beside him on the bench, wearing an apologetic expression. âiâm sorry... but look what i got for you!â
judeâs pout vanished, replaced by sparkling eyes and a wide smile. âkinder bueno!â he exclaimed, swiftly snatching the chocolate from your hand.
taking advantage of his distraction, you carefully applied the bandage to his knee, despite the challenge of his constant twitching and movement.
âall done,â you proudly grinned, discarding the bandage wrappers into the nearby trash bin. âthe bleeding has stopped, and iâm sure the cut will heal in a few days as it-â
your words trailed off as you noticed jude gazing at you with an unusual expression in his eyes. it was difficult to discern if it was shock, adoration, or infatuation that filled his gaze.
you looked at jude, puzzled, and asked, âare you okay?â
he took a moment to respond, and when he did, your eyes widened as your heart sank to the pit of your stomach:
âi love you.â
a disbelieving chuckle escaped your lips as you observed your intoxicated best friend. you knew better than to believe his words. after all, he was drunk.
moreover, you were his best friend â it was impossible.
âjude... itâs not funny. please donât joke about something like that.â you murmured, your voice quiet and uncertain.
you stared at jude with furrowed brows as he vehemently denied, âiâm not joking, y/n. i love you, so much.â
the insistence and urgency in his voice sounded genuine, however, expressing his love while under the influence made it difficult to trust his words.
âjude.â you cautioned, hoping to dissuade him from continuing.
ignoring your warning, he persisted, âi am hopelessly, stupidly in love with you. you mean⌠everything to me, and i wish i had the courage to ask you out when we first met.â
you despised how easily you fell for his words, yearning for them to be true. countless nights, you prayed for jude to reciprocate your feelings, and now he was speaking what you had always longed to hear.
however, he was shit-faced drunk.
furthermore, whenever jude drank, he would become affectionate and cling to you, so you assumed his behavior was merely a result of alcohol coursing through his veins.
âalright, that's enough,â you announced, regaining your footing. âitâs getting late and you definitely need some rest.â
jude refused to accept your attempts to avoid his emotions. he acknowledged his drunken state, yet his feelings for you were ever present. he was simply too afraid to express them when sober.
he needed to convince you because he wouldnât play games or deceive you about something like this.
ây/n,â jude pleaded, his desperate tone freezing you in place.
bridging the gap between you, he gently cupped your face with his warm hands, contrasting against your cold skin.
âi know iâm drunk and slur- slurring my words, but please believe me when i say i love you. iâve loved you since the moment we met.â
you sighed, uncertainty still lingering within you.
âi want to hear you say that when youâre sober, jude,â you murmured softly, gazing deeply into his eyes with uncertainty.
jude could only groan in frustration, regretting every sip he had taken.
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â đ¤ ââË・â
⥠summary: after being banned from the next match, jude decided to drown his sorrows in alcohol. as you accompanied him on his way home, he shared something with you.
⥠notes: had this in my drafts over a year and i just had to get it out of there. i thought it was cute, but eh.
⥠content: friends to lovers because who doesnât love this trope đŤśđť, very very fluffy, alcohol mention, jude is stupidly drunk here, reader is sober, around one thousand words, part two?
⥠streaming: delicate by taylor swift.
⥠masterlist, part one, part two.
strolling beside jude, he accidentally collided with you again, causing a burst of laughter that brought a warm smile to your face.
it was clear to anyone seeing jude that he was heavily intoxicated. as a consequence of being banned from the next game, he had decided to indulge in excessive drinking to the point where he could barely walk straight.
your arm was wrapped around his waist, while his rested on your shoulders. the scent of alcohol and the cologne enveloped you, creating a cozy and comforting feeling.
âjude,â you said with a grunt, struggling to maintain your balance. âi canât keep walking like this... weâre going to end up falling.â
ignoring your concerns, jude continued his unsteady stride. it was only a matter of time before he stumbled, as you had anticipated.
without even attempting to assist him, you let go, aware that his strength would likely drag you down too.
âowâŚâ he muttered from the ground, resembling the idiot he is. you sighed, silently resolving never to let him consume such excessive amounts of alcohol again.
the streets were relatively empty, given the late hour, for which you were grateful. if anyone caught sight of jude in his current state, he would undoubtedly become the subject of jokes for weeks.
you lowered yourself to his level, feeling the ache in your feet from the heels you had worn all night. noticing a cut on his knee only added to your exasperation.
âjude, sometimes you act like a complete child.â you murmured quietly, helping the man you helplessly adored in supporting back onto his feet.
âknee⌠bloodâŚâ jude weakly pointed out the blood on his knee, his voice slurred and distant, indicating that he was on the verge of passing out. however, you knew you couldnât take him home without tending to the cut first.
spotting a nearby shop a few steps away, you carefully guided jude and yourself towards it. settling him on a bench outside the shop, you assured him, âiâll be right back.â not expecting much of a response.
as you turned to leave, jude grabbed your wrist, causing you to look back at him in confusion. his pouting lips and pleading eyes melted your heart, leaving you swooning at the adorable sight.
âdonât leave,â he pleaded, his voice barely audible. âi need you.â
you released a gentle sigh, a soft smile gracing your lips. aware that his intoxicated state might have influenced his words, you still couldnât help the rapid beating of your hopeless heart.
âi wonât be gone for long, i promise.â you reassured him.
âpinky promise?â he questioned.
a laugh escaped you, causing jude to misconstrue it as mockery. he glared at you, extending his pinky finger and waiting for yours to join.
âalright, alright,â you composed yourself, intertwining your pinky finger with his.
after assuring jude that you would be back in five minutes, you entered the shop and swiftly purchased a pack of adhesive bandages.
unfortunately, the cashier happened to be a new employee and encountered some difficulties with the machine. as a result, when you returned to jude, he was sitting there with crossed arms.
âseven minutes and ten seconds,â he grumbled. âyou took too long.â
supressing a laugh, aware that it would only annoy jude further, you sat down beside him on the bench, wearing an apologetic expression. âiâm sorry... but look what i got for you!â
judeâs pout vanished, replaced by sparkling eyes and a wide smile. âkinder bueno!â he exclaimed, swiftly snatching the chocolate from your hand.
taking advantage of his distraction, you carefully applied the bandage to his knee, despite the challenge of his constant twitching and movement.
âall done,â you proudly grinned, discarding the bandage wrappers into the nearby trash bin. âthe bleeding has stopped, and iâm sure the cut will heal in a few days as it-â
your words trailed off as you noticed jude gazing at you with an unusual expression in his eyes. it was difficult to discern if it was shock, adoration, or infatuation that filled his gaze.
you looked at jude, puzzled, and asked, âare you okay?â
he took a moment to respond, and when he did, your eyes widened as your heart sank to the pit of your stomach:
âi love you.â
a disbelieving chuckle escaped your lips as you observed your intoxicated best friend. you knew better than to believe his words. after all, he was drunk.
moreover, you were his best friend â it was impossible.
âjude... itâs not funny. please donât joke about something like that.â you murmured, your voice quiet and uncertain.
you stared at jude with furrowed brows as he vehemently denied, âiâm not joking, y/n. i love you, so much.â
the insistence and urgency in his voice sounded genuine, however, expressing his love while under the influence made it difficult to trust his words.
âjude.â you cautioned, hoping to dissuade him from continuing.
ignoring your warning, he persisted, âi am hopelessly, stupidly in love with you. you mean⌠everything to me, and i wish i had the courage to ask you out when we first met.â
you despised how easily you fell for his words, yearning for them to be true. countless nights, you prayed for jude to reciprocate your feelings, and now he was speaking what you had always longed to hear.
however, he was shit-faced drunk.
furthermore, whenever jude drank, he would become affectionate and cling to you, so you assumed his behavior was merely a result of alcohol coursing through his veins.
âalright, that's enough,â you announced, regaining your footing. âitâs getting late and you definitely need some rest.â
jude refused to accept your attempts to avoid his emotions. he acknowledged his drunken state, yet his feelings for you were ever present. he was simply too afraid to express them when sober.
he needed to convince you because he wouldnât play games or deceive you about something like this.
ây/n,â jude pleaded, his desperate tone freezing you in place.
bridging the gap between you, he gently cupped your face with his warm hands, contrasting against your cold skin.
âi know iâm drunk and slur- slurring my words, but please believe me when i say i love you. iâve loved you since the moment we met.â
you sighed, uncertainty still lingering within you.
âi want to hear you say that when youâre sober, jude,â you murmured softly, gazing deeply into his eyes with uncertainty.
jude could only groan in frustration, regretting every sip he had taken.
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thank u so much lovely!! đŤśđŤś
â đŚ˘ââË・â
⥠summary: âhey, please write something where trent has done/said something to hurt reader and she is giving him the silent treatment and theyâre about to sleep and sheâs faced away from him refusing to cuddle and he has to apologise and get her let it go cos he canât fall sleep with her angry and not in his arms. thank you!!!â
⥠content: established relationship, angst, fluff in the end, quite shortâfive hundred words.
⥠notes: thank you for the request, rlly enjoyed writing this! đ¤
⥠streaming: void by the neighbourhood.
⥠masterlist.
the sound of the sheets rustling filled the room as trent climbed into bed, creating a heavy silence. he glanced at you, noticing that you had turned away from him, creating a painful divide between the two of you.
his heart pounded with guilt, a constant reminder of the hurtful argument and thoughtless words he had unleashed. the echoes of those words played relentlessly in his mind.
with hesitation, he reached out for you, his fingers hovering above your cool shoulder. ây/n..â he whispered, his voice rough and parched. however, you remained unmoved, your steady breathing contrasting with the turmoil he felt inside.
a sense of despair consumed him as he couldnât bear the thought of falling asleep without holding you in his arms, your presence offering solace from the darkness. the weight of the silence pressed down on him, anchoring him to the mattress.
he made another attempt, speaking softly this time. âplease, sweetheart,â he whispered, his lips barely grazing your hair. âlet me talk to you.â
a flicker of movement, a tense sigh, and finally, you turned onto your side. however, your eyes still held a frosty disappointment.
âi.. i acted terribly,â he confessed, his words stumbling out like pebbles. âi didnât mean what i said. it was just... frustration, and i unfairly took it out on you. you didnât deserve any of that.â
a tear glistened in the corner of your eye, and his heart constricted. tenderly, he cradled your face in his hands, his thumbs caressing the curve of your cheek.
âyou mean everything to me, y/n,â trent murmured, his voice filled with raw emotion. âand i am so sorry.â
he saw the walls around your heart begin to crumble, replaced by a vulnerability that mirrored his own. trent leaned in, his lips brushing yours in a silent plea. the dam broke then, tears spilling down your cheeks as you wrapped your arms around him.
âi just.. i thought you understood.â you choked out, your voice muffled against his chest.
he held you tighter, whispering reassurances into your hair. âi do, baby,â he promised. âmore than words can say. i just.. let my pride get in the way.â
you let out a tired sigh, feeling your tense muscles gradually relax as sleep began to overtake you. your eyelids grew heavy, struggling to stay open. âsay what you said again and iâll throw you off a bridge.â you warned, burying your face into his chest.
trent chuckled softly, aware that you were quite capable of following through with that threat, so he refrained from teasing and simply nodded. âand i wonât stop you.â he replied.
too exhausted to reply jokingly, you simply closed your eyes and surrendered to sleep. it didnât take long for you to drift off, especially with trent gently stroking your hair.
âi love you, baby.â trent whispered tenderly, his head resting atop yours, holding your smaller body tightly, fearful of losing his grip on you.
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"It is pissing down rain."
"Can't you think of any better way to say that?"
"... it is urinating down rain."
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This Love Is Ours (Trent x FemReader)Â
Summary: The surprise of becoming a dad to twins hits Trent with new doubts and insecurities.Â
Word Count: 5.7K
Warnings: Angsty and just fluffâŚ.slight mentions of childbirth nothing too crazy.Â
a/n: This as I mentioned before, was collecting dust. Iâve only been writing for Pedri and Ruben and honestly I just needed a bit of a change in the blog, plus Iâve seen to hit a writer's block for all my other requests but Iâm slowly working to get back to writing.
They were together for a few years, they were more than stable, with a lot of security and trust. So when she fell pregnant she couldnât help but feel a bit worried.
They had never openly discussed the idea of a child, maybe they wanted a family, maybe not. It was never a deal breaker, some couples just thrived by themselves, comfortable enough to only depend on each other to be happy and fulfilled.
She was worried just about Trent, he was a bit hesitant with kids, sure he liked interacting with kids, but shy smiles and little waves could not raise a baby.Â
He was afraid of carrying a baby or dropping the infant, he feared of them choking, and just on the little human depending so much on him, on the time that he definitely didnât have due to his profession.Â
So telling him was very important but also scary, not knowing his reaction or what he was capable of. Would he shut down, leave angry, or just end up crying?Â
So she decided to just casually mention it, be as cool and collected like Trent under pressure. Even though it looked like nothing bothered him, he wasnât always like that, he was a hot head and a bit defensive, but this time his demeanor surprised her.Â
âHey Trent can we talk for a bit, a serious chat?â He had just stopped playing video games with a few of his teammates, they were like a family who couldnât stop interacting, not even on the few days off.Â
âOf course babeâ he wasnât worried about her leaving or anything like that, he was a great boyfriend and he knew it because he couldnât fathom losing her due to time or stupid decisions, so his devoted attention and love was all for her.Â
âI was feeling a bit light headed, a few days ago and I was feeling a bit silly and I took a pregnancy testâŚâ
âWas it positive?â Now that did worry him, his eyes kept looking at her eyes and then to where their potential baby would develop, she unconsciously touched her belly and there he knew that it was real.
âYeah it was, I donât know what to do?â
âItâs your decision loveâ
âPlease donât leave all the decisions to me, help me out, we made this baby together, letâs planâ
âDo you picture a family with me?â
âOf course but I also donât picture us with kids, I always thought of being content just with you, is that selfish?â He shook his head with an understanding look.
âNo love, I also just wanted you for myself, I pictured us old but never with kidsâŚcome here on my lap I want to hold you, I donât want you thinking that this news will affect us, shouldnât it make us stronger?â with a giddy hop, she sat on his lap, head nicely tucked into his neck.Â
âWhat if we start picturing us with a baby? Itâs a big decision, but itâs in me alreadyâ he looked down at her belly again, it was haunting knowing that a mixture of their love would soon become part of their tiny family, so he had no choice but to caress the still soft stomach, he had to start getting used to the idea that he would become a father.
âOk baby, Iâm sure we wonât mess up, if youâre happy and sure about a baby then why not, but are you sure sure, how many tests did you take?â
âI took about sixâ her sheepish smile and his wide eyes staring crazingly at her made everything more real.Â
âWas three not enough?â He said with a giggle.Â
âNo! all of them were positive, didnât want any negativesâÂ
âWell then itâs set, let's go see a doctor ok, the club will handle only the best for youâ he said that very confidently, but he was still afraid of his ability to be a good father, he just didnât have the warmth to provide.Â
Crazy how she was indulging in his warmth, the one that he swore he didnât have. She knew that his accelerated heart was telling her a different story, he was afraid. So she kissed him, a passionate kiss that told him to not worry about anything.Â
âI love you Trent, please know that⌠Iâm grateful for how well we communicateâÂ
âI love you too baby, I will always cherish what we have, I will become a whole different person, I have to be since Iâll be a fatherâŚâ she caressed the wrinkles on his forehead, too deep in thought.
âYou donât have to change yourself to be a father Trent, we will only adjust our lives a bit, we have time babyâ
âI guess youâre right?â A tight smile trying to convince her and probably himself, but thatâs how he would spend the majority of the nine months convincing himself that he won't fail as a father.Â
âTrent! Come hereâ did he really drop whatever he was holding? Yes, almost everything made him paranoid.Â
âIâm here baby whatâs wrong, are you hurt?â However he only saw her trembling lip and he quickly took her face in his hands.
âI couldnât tie my shoe, Iâm a fat cow with big and painful nipplesâŚâ
âYouâre a beautiful pregnant woman, that just needs her boyfriend to tie her shoes for her, how does that soundâ with a kiss to her pouty lips he tied her shoes.Â
He was still attentive, involved with every decision and update, his insecurities would not get in the way of enjoying her mood swings, cravings, her glow and definitely not in the way of his baby's milestones.Â
Also they werenât just picturing a future with a tiny mini Trent, no there would be two, because of course their great luck gave them twins.Â
So yes she was only five months pregnant, but her belly was twice the size, stretching in weird places and overall bothering her so much, but she would protect it no matter what.Â
âTrent could you put the anti stretch mark cream on me, even though itâs not doing anything? I hate them Trent â Her new insecurity were those little stupid marks that didnât need to be there, even through puberty she got them, but now they were more aggressive and quite honestly everything tipped her off.Â
âI know that you do, but I donât, I love them, two babies are forming hereâŚand youâre providing the space they needâ he said as he gently rubbed the lotion on her belly, he looked extra cute when he was concentrating.Â
âI guessâŚare you ready for the screening?â
âOf course hopefully they can move facing us, or at least not be so big so we could see the genderâÂ
She nodded emphasizing what she hoped for âI want two girlsâÂ
âNo, I feel like you have two boys in hereâÂ
âAt least an in between? Boy and girlâ they were the type of couple to keep everything really private, their family and friends knew, but the public didnât and he didnât want them to know.Â
So they werenât making a big fuss about gender reveals and baby showers, they had everything so they werenât too worried to involve everyone.Â
âThat would be nice, although I want to have boys just because of sportsâÂ
âGirls can play sports tooâ she was close to crying again and he didnât want to deal with her cries so early in the day.Â
âAnd Iâm not saying they canât baby, of course they will play with me and I will sign them up to academies, but kids arenât my strong suit, I smile at them and they get scared, itâs not my fault that Iâm intimidatingâ
âThese will be your kids Trent theyâll love your stoic and âscaryâ face⌠oh no, now that I think about it they will have your face, so three faces will be looking at me with a confused yet calm expressionâ he laughed softly, relieved that she made him snap out of one of his thousands of insecurities.
âAt least fifty-fifty, one would be cool and collected while the other would be hectic and hyperâ she slapped his chest with a scoff âas if Iâm hyper, one coffee in and youâre unbearable, help me up and letâs go pleaseâ with a grunt from her as he pulled her up, they made their way to hopefully find the gender of their babies.
The car ride was all smiles and nerves, he was nervous. What if they were girls, girls are so delicate and require even more love, not to say boys donât but girls scare him.Â
He grew up in a family of boys and a few girls cousins and such, but he was raised to be respectful and a gentleman, however he was always too rough and competitive with his cousins and even classmates.Â
If they were boys he was also scared, what if he couldnât raise them into respectful and loving gentlemen?Â
He hadnât let go of her hand, not in the walk to the doctors office or in the waiting room, hand tightly intertwined with hers. Even so when he quickly searched for her when she had to get on the bed for the ultrasound.
Trent was always a clingy person but it was worse now that her independence was limited, all for the safety of her babies. So he was more cautious and like a papa bear ready to defend and protect.Â
Their heartbeats were strong and they were healthy, according to their doctor she was able to see the gender of the babies.Â
âSo are you guys ready or do you want them to be a surprise?â
âNo doc please tell us I canât handle it anymoreâ she only laughed softly at his begging.
âIf itâs ok with mum?â
âOf course you can tell usâ she gave Trent a reassuring smile, while he only switched his concerned expression to their doctor.Â
âIt seems that you guys will have two⌠boys?â the puff of air that he was holding on his cheeks was released. That was also his chance to give his girlfriend a small peck, as a thanks and to celebrate another successful doctor's visit.
âNow a few more updates, I know that this is exciting but sometimes we swear they are boys and one of them is a girl, but Iâm ninety-nine percent sure that they are boys, also itâs a risky four months for a twins pregnancy, so please rest as much as you can and no heavy liftingâŚIâll let you clean up and please stay in touch for whatever concern no matter how small it might seemâ they nodded along like two children who behaved and listened in school as their doctor walked out.
âYou were relieved huh?â
âYes, how do you feel happy?â
âYeah Iâm happy, as long as they are healthyâ
âDid you want a girl?â She only shrugged, it wasnât bittersweet since she wasnât mad or disappointed, she was happy,Â
âI Can still dress them up with cute outfitsâÂ
âWe wonât deprive them of anything, if they want any kind of toy or any kind of colorful item, I will get it for themâŚâ
âOf course Trent, I will get them a play kitchen, I want them to know how to cook once they are older unlike youâŚâ Trent only chuckled as he wiped the gel from her belly. âBut honestly baby, you will be the perfect dadâÂ
He didnât know why but his eyes filled up, she could always read him, and as he softly cried against her shoulder, he knew that he was lucky to have her with him, to be sharing such a thrilling and emotional experience with the love of his life.Â
âLetâs go home yeah, we need a nursery and to paint, oh my, I almost forgot the baby proofingâŚâ he pulled her to his side as they made their way outside with so much urgency and excitement, tears drying as he started to picture himself with his two boys.Â
He was not joking as soon as they got home and ate, he took her phone and went straight to Pinterest, picking a theme for the nursery. Even spewing out names that were so ridiculous, but at least he was making her giggle so much that she apparently almost peed.
âBut seriously babe, what would you like to name them?â
âYou pick a name and I pick the other one?â
âOk, nice compromiseâŚI've always liked Owen or Theo?â
âTheyâre nice, a bit simple but we were never fancyâÂ
âWhat about you?âÂ
âlet me pull up my list with my two-hundred namesâÂ
âTwo-hundred! How can you even decide?â
âwell if itâs the theme of Tâs and Oâs they have to match, so it will be easyâÂ
âSo it will be Theo and what?â Her eyes seemed to be locked in one name.Â
âThaliaâŚâ his confused eyes slowly looked at her serious face.
âBaby thatâs not really a boy's name? I mean if you like the name why notâŚâ he had to be careful about how he approached this, however she gladly provided an explanation for the unusual name for a boy.
âYou might think Iâm crazy, but I believe that one baby is a girl, I just have this instinct that I canât shake from my heartâ
âBaby the doctor said that itâs not likelyâŚâ
âI know what she said Trent!â he only groaned as he scratched his head in pure frustration.Â
âBaby Please donât scream, if I believe you that slows down the process of a nursery and other necessities, I know you want a baby girlâŚâ
âAnd I know that you didnât, you were relieved after she said that they were boys, I donât understand why having a girl scares you so much, you treat me with so much love and respect, youâre attentive and loving, seriously you pay attention to every detail and what makes you believe that everything will be any different?âÂ
âHow will I relate to a baby girl, what will I teach them?â
âThatâs easy how do you relate to me, you shower me with cuddles and comfort, you listen to me Trent, if I want to bake cookies you do that with me, if I want to watch a Disney movie you followâŚ.and for the love that I have for you, Iâm sure they will love football, because itâs a part of us Trent, itâs what you do and thanks to that Iâm able to support youâÂ
âOk, but we still donât know if we will have a girl, itâs an assumptionâŚ.one, that I will choose to believeâ with a gentle but firm smile he pulled her into his arms, there they got to bask in the silence of their love, no other spoken words because nothing else needed to be said, they would be ok, he would be ok.
âSo baby, a Liverpool nursery?â They were seating very comfortably on their sofa, talking about plans that they had for their babies.Â
âShut up Trent, you wishâ he chuckled at her defensive tone, but there was still a hint of humor.
âI like the forest theme, cute trees and greenery?âÂ
âThen get to work Trent, because that was my choice as wellâÂ
âReally? See weâre connectedâ a cheeky grin came right after getting his way.Â
Decision making with Trent was a breeze, there was no point in arguing because they were alike, especially after he took her phone and created his own Pinterest board.
Never in a million years did she expect or imagine Trent happily browsing through Pinterest, but here he was comparing paint colors and cribs, even wallpapers.Â
âSo this olive-like color, it looks like pooâ.Â
âTrent, please donât say that, I like itâ she said with a cute pout.
âMaybe with the wallpaper it will make a nice contrastâÂ
âMaybe you should start building the cribs instead of hating my color, and please read, I donât want an unstable cribâŚâ
That whole day Trent was in the nursery, he even cried when he couldnât put together the base of the changing table, she found him pulling his hair in frustration and a few sobs, and she had no choice but to join him.
It was double the trouble, double the preparations and double the love and risk during delivery. However while he sobbed into her shoulders about his insecurities, she was still stuck on the fear of pushing out her babies.Â
Hormones mixed in with his pain could be funny to others, but to them it was scary becoming first time parents to two babies.Â
âIâm going to be such a horrible dad babe, I canât even fucking put this shit together, itâs rubbish, are you sure itâs a good changing tableâŚâ he was rambling now and nothing good ever happens when he isnât in a good headspace. So she put her hands against his shoulders and she made him look at her surprisingly calm eyes.Â
âListen to me love, thatâs only the best changing table for them, and because itâs so good itâs almost impossible to put together, now to the important stuff you will not be a bad father, youâre perfect for me and for our babies. You will protect us and give us all the love that we will need, I know you will keep us safeâŚâ
âDo you ever worry baby? because I canât seem to function without youâ
âOf course Iâm worried baby, the birth has me so scaredâŚâ
âWhy love? Iâll be there holding your hand, I will not allow anything to happen to youâ
âI know but they are big babies and pushing just seems so painful or what if I have an emergency and I need a c-section, I heard the recovery time is brutal and Iâm just scaredâŚâ now they were swaying to the sound of the calmness that surrounded them.Â
ââŚIf anything doesnât go to plan, we will always have each other, weâll figure it, so let us helpâ with a hopeful look, he nodded showing her where he left off and believe it or not the confused soon to be father and the heavily pregnant woman finished the nursery, after hours of cryâs, bickering and some giggles at their failures, but regardless they completed the task together.Â
After setting up their baby's nursery and hours in the shops buying their babies everything they needed, she was ready to bring them to the world.Â
The last month, the most important out of all of them came with pain that was too intense. Her water didnât break, but the contractions were so close together that she had no other choice but to call Trent.
He had a busy few weeks with certain matches, a lot of training sessions and some meetings. However he would have to miss all of them, nothing would ever get in the way of missing out the first few weeks with his babies and what would probably be the toughest weeks for his girlfriend, they all needed him.Â
When he arrived home, he was surprisingly calm, he took her hospital bags to their car, and then went back to get his crying girlfriend, he buckled her in and gave her a few kisses all over her face to make her giggle.
He was ready, days before he had set up the car seats in both of their cars, baby proofed the whole house (even his mum's house was ready), and he took a few days off to be by her side.Â
He was very private so when the gaffer and his teammates saw the car seats they almost passed out. Some were mad that they werenât told, others got happy, and well Andy knew already but he still cried.Â
He very awkwardly comforted all his teammates, while he simply smacked the back of Andyâs head and gave him a nice hug, all he said was a âcalm down mateâ while Andy blabbered on about him being so warm and cuddly.
So if Andy and all his other teammates were sure about him being warm and cuddly, he had no doubt that he would be a great father.Â
The toughest part out of the whole journey was seeing his partner in pain, oftentimes it was endearing seeing her get angry at her own pain, but she always relied on him, a nice cuddle in her own words could and would solve anything.
However the pain that she was experiencing at the moment was not endearing, no amount of cuddles could help, not even almost breaking his hands trying to push could relieve the feeling of being so tired and filled with energy all at the same time.
However when the first cry was heard as well as some soft gasps as the delivery nurse yelled out âsheâs a girlâ, Trent couldn't help but whisper a tiny âyou were right babyâ with a smile on his face he was ushered to cut the umbilical cord, he had no time to observe his baby girl because the intense scream of his girlfriend let him know that she was still very much in labor.Â
âTrent I canâtâŚâÂ
âYes you can baby, youâre almost there, his sister is waiting for him just keep pushing baby, break my hand if you need toâŚâ just like that his hand was squeezed with so much force, that he had no choice but to match her yelling, until the softer cries of his baby boy were heard.Â
âIâm very proud of you baby, thank you so much for thisâŚâ he kissed her lips murmuring a tiny I love you against them.Â
And finally they were placed in their mums arms. Trent captured the moment, he was mesmerized, his loving glare was met, while she mouthed an âI love youâ to him even if she looked visibly tired, she was still the strongest person in the world.
He was able to hold his babies only for a few seconds, they would have to be thoroughly checked, while his girlfriend would have to rest. Thatâs when it was just the two of them left in the room, they cried and laughed together.Â
âNot only did we have a girl like you said, but she was born first, what an entrance huh?âÂ
âAre you happy Trent?â and he scoffed because he was more than happy, it was like falling in love all over again.
âThey are perfect baby, and youâre in perfect health as well, so of course Iâm happyâŚIâm so in loveâ he wiped away the sticky hair from her face, while he admired, she fell asleep and soon after, while holding her hand he let the sleep consume him.Â
It was probably their last time together where they could rest with no interruptions, because a few days later they were home, with almost no rest.
She tried to remember everything that was said to her in the hospital, but at that moment it was difficult to remember everything. Trent seemed to be the only one that had clarity.
So far the babies seemed to be in search of warmth, so whether it was breastfeeding or skin to skin contact from Trent they were pretty happy.
 She oftentimes found Trent cradling his daughter, he felt guilty for ever doubting his partner, but also relieved that they didnât need to worry about having more kids if they already had the pair.Â
The doctor told them that it was very difficult to see Thalia, for the most part her back was to the screen. In a way her baby brother protected her or maybe she was just stubborn, but as she observed through the doorway of the nursery she couldnât help but melt at the sight of a shirtless Trent holding their two babies.
âHey babeâÂ
âWas I asleep?â
âYeah, they cried a bit, Iâm sure they are hungry but my chest is doing just fine at keeping them cozyâ she approached, gently taking Thalia from his arms, his tiny whine did not go unnoticed.Â
She sat on the other rocking chair to feed, she only fed one at a time just because she didnât trust her tired eyes to stay awake, so she would rather hold one baby securely than worry about losing time.
âI wish I had boobsâÂ
âTrent, stop itâ she exclaimed with a surprised giggle.
âWhat I want to help youâ and he was dead serious as well.Â
âI know love, but you would be complaining about the pain the whole time, so itâs better for you to sit pretty shirtless, helping with Theo then for me to hear your whinesâÂ
âSo Iâm a form of entertainment for you?âÂ
âHonestly yeah, you look very dreamyâÂ
âThanks babe, you also look beautifulâÂ
âReally, all sleep deprived and ugly?â
âIf you find me dreamy even though I havenât slept in days, I can also find you beautiful, maybe to the outside world we look ugly, but I say that weâve never looked betterâ his teasing grin, only made her cheeks heat up.Â
As they switched babies, it all hit him that he wouldnât be able to see her in this state or even help her as much when his break would be over.Â
âIâm going to miss this, I wonder how everyone else does itâ he said as he gently burped Thalia.
âWhat baby?âÂ
âLeaving their babies, are you sure you don't want to hire any help baby?â
âNo love, I quit my job to be with them every second of the day, your mum has offered to help us incase we have anywhere to go, but I can do this Trent, it makes me feel at ease knowing that youâre still doing what you love and that no matter what you will come homeâÂ
âI know baby, but if you change your mind, just let me know okâÂ
âIs that the only thing thatâs bothering you?âÂ
âI just donât want to miss out on any important milestones, like their first word, or steps, and the worst part is that I know it will happen, I could potentially become a stranger to them, my biggest fear is losing our connection and them losing my warmthâ
âWe wonât let that happen, we have technology on our side, and plus Iâm so proud of you that I will play them highlights of you, so they know who their dad is, I love you Trent and no matter what they will love youâÂ
âYou have to promise me love that if Iâm becoming absent you will tell me, I donât want to lose you eitherâ
âI promiseâŚâ with a soft kiss they both placed their sleeping babies in their crib. Closing the door gently to not disturb them, and to not delay their own sleep.
So they both rushed the nighttime routine, so they could at least get a cuddle before the sleep would practically consume them.Â
Thatâs how the first months and years went by, short nights and long days. However she preferred the longer days when Trent was home. When he would do everything, from breakfast to dinner.
They were happy, they realized a long time ago that they were blessed with twins so that she didnât have to go through another pregnancy, although the process was beautiful it was very difficult, so they would happily remain a family of four.Â
The twins were now toddlers, they had transitioned from the terrible-twos to the now questioning threes, where everything was met with a question.Â
It drove them nuts but it was also very amusing seeing them so curious to the point of confusion. They were even more curious about all the uncles they had, and why their daddy was playing in front of so many people.
Much to Trentâs dismay, the kids were not interested in football, he would constantly try, but they would sit on the patch of grass and admire him, just like their mum would do before they were born, tiny claps after each trick, but that was it, at least they had appreciation for the sport.
âTheyâre too little Trent give them timeâÂ
âBut love, Theo likes the kitchen set I got him and Thalia wonât even look at the ball, what if I sign them up to a toddlers club, or can I take them to training?âÂ
âTrent, please baby Iâm sure that once they understand what you do, they will fight for you to teach them how to play⌠and also in a year they will be in schoolâŚâ he gasped so loud that the curious eyes from their kids met his startled face.
âOh my! Donât even say that, a year is such a short time, they are growing up so fastâÂ
âBaby please stop the dramatics, in school they will be surrounded by other children and possibly with the culture that is liking footballâÂ
âWell they will be sent to nursery with Liverpool kits thatâs for sure, I wonât let them pick any other teamâÂ
âIâm sure you wonâtâŚâ she only rolled her eyes as she observed how he asked them what club they supported.Â
âSo babies, where does daddy play?âÂ
âLiverpool daddy!â he had a proud smile adorning his face even though what they said was far from clear.
âThatâs rightâ he gave them another cookie just before placing tiny kisses all over their chubby cheeks.Â
She was right, just when they started nursery school, they became more interested in playing football, maybe because they also attended home games, to watch their daddy play.
So because they were in the age to mirror their parents, Thalia decided that she wanted to be a professional football player, while Theo focused on the arts and some sports here and there just like his mum.
Thalia had her personality, she was charismatic and curious, while Theo was exactly like him, more calm and serious. He often was accused of giving kids the stink eye, but that was just his unamused face, and besides he had Thalia to defend him.Â
She took the role of being older very seriously saying that she would smile for her brother. Trent couldn't help but melt at the kindness that their kids possessed, and he knew that it was thanks to their love and care throughout their upbringing.Â
âCan we watch you play tomorrow daddy?â
âOf course baby, mum will take youâ he said while looking at the rear view mirror as he dropped them off.
âWill uncle Robbo be there?â
âYeah, you want to see him?â Excited nods were her response, even more knowing that she would see her favorite uncle.
âWhat about you bug, you want to see daddy play?â
âYes but you need to score dadâÂ
âI need to score?â His amused eyes look at his now wife and he couldnât help but fall more in love with her glowing smile.
âYeah we like cheering for you, mummy goes crazyâÂ
âDoes she?â
âYeah she jumps ups and downsâÂ
âUp and downâ she corrected with a tint on her cheeks.
âNice to know that I still drive you crazyâ she smacked his chest softly as he pulled up to the parking lot of their school.Â
âShut it Trent, because I know that with just a glare I drive you crazy as wellâÂ
âNot going to deny thatâŚâ with a tiny wink he went to Theoâs side, while she went to Thaliaâs side and they both allowed them to unbuckle their seats.Â
Walking hand in hand, kisses were shared and excited goodbyes were said. It was definitely not as painful as the very first day, where she had to physically pull Trent to walk away from the school.Â
Now waves and blown kisses were thrown until they were safely taken to their classroom. He reached for her hand, and they walked back to the car ready for her to drop him off so he could train.
They developed a nice routine, in a way she was the chauffeur on the way to pick and drop Trent off. To her it was a fair deal, more time to talk with him before picking the kids up.Â
âI love this baby, Iâll never get tired of this routine, of hearing their giggles and even their bickering that sound more like screams than anything else, but I wouldnât trade thisâÂ
âRemember when we were so afraid that we wouldnât be able to deal with the chaos and responsibilities?âŚâ he only nodded, going back to all of his insecurities that still showed up but not as often or as damaging ââŚbut here we are, experts in parenting. They love us so much and thanks to you we live a fulfilling lifeâÂ
âThanks to you I have them here, and I also have you, which is everything I need to survive, sprinkle in a bit of football and Iâm happyâŚbut seriously babe Iâm grateful that I got to do this with you, that you still get me out of those horrible thoughts and that you allow me to do the same for you, I love youâÂ
âI love you too⌠and please train extra hardâÂ
Kissing her quickly he got out of the car, as she followed âI have to love, I need to score tomorrow to make you happyâ he pulled her into his arms, one last snuggle and kiss before he had to go and enjoy the other part of his life.
Her pregnancy was a shock to them, it wasnât something that was expected or even desired at that point in their relationship, but it was gladly welcomed.
Now he couldn't picture a day where they had to grow old without their kids, in every blink and every stage their twins were present, bringing thousands of new smiles and memories for them.
They were able to erase every fear and doubt, sure mistakes and insecurities were inevitable, but he was able to overcome them with a simple talk or even a nice cuddle from his wife and kids.Â
Their love only became stronger when they decided to continue a difficult and unknown journey. He wasnât sure if he could protect a baby girl, but she instantly loved him or if he would be able to raise his baby boy like he was raised, being respectful and loving, but here they were doing the unthinkable.
But it wasnât impossible because he was still filled with so many dreams, but now they were shared with his family. One thing was for sure though he didnât fail as a father or husband, he was loved and cared for and he was at peace knowing that he will never be alone or afraid in his journey.Â
The endâŚ
a/n: Thanks for reading and Iâm sorry if there were some mistakes. This was a draft that I tried to correct but Iâm not sure if itâs all quality. Lots of love and Stay safeâ Nat â¤ď¸
Tag-List: @xjval / @justme-espcaping / @alexisquinnlee-bc / @trentskinator98 / @nightlockcornucopia / @kathb59 / @pjofics / @cinderellawithashoe / @jajajhaahaha / @alwaysclassyeagle /. @urmotheris
(This tag-list includes everyone that has asked me, if you want to be removed or added you can always let me know, and if your name is crossed out that means that youâve changed your username)
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please đ but honestly same
â đ¤ ââË・â
⥠summary: you want to be more than just friends, but jude doesnât.
⥠content: fwb!jude x reader, pure angst, no happy ending, reader getting a bit emotional, around one thousand words, one shot.
⥠notes: not my favorite work, but had to get it out of my drafts some day. also, requests are open:)
⥠streaming: say donât go by taylor swift.
⥠masterlist.
the cold winter wind tickled your nose as you and jude strolled amidst the rustling leaves, your breaths creating misty clouds against the fading daylight.
in the midst of casual chatter about trivial matters like the latest bakery in town, judeâs impressive gym gains, and his peculiar dream from the previous night, an unspoken tension lingered. it was a quiet question mark concealed within cozy quiet moments and secret glances.
as you reached the bridge, gazing down at the glistening ice below, you halted, your focus fixed on the serene scene. with a hushed voice, you finally uttered the question that had been weighing on your mind, âwhat are we?â
jude paused, his forehead creasing in confusion. âwhat do you mean?â he responded, genuinely unaware.
you let out a sigh, turning to face him directly. âplease donât say weâre only friends,â you pleaded, revealing a vulnerable side that caught jude off guard.
a pang of emotions surged within him, a tangled web he struggled to unravel. âwell,â he stumbled, searching for the right words, âweâre more than just friends.â
âalright,â you echoed, a flicker of optimism dancing in your eyes.
jude, still taken aback, muttered, âyeah.â
a profound silence enveloped you both, pregnant with unexpressed hopes. detecting his hesitation, you tilted your head, replacing hope with confusion. âis that all?â you inquired.
judeâs eyebrows rose as he met your questioning gaze. âwhat do you expect me to say?â he snapped, exasperation mingling with a touch of desperation.
a pang of disappointment tugged at your heart. âarenât you also confused?â you challenged, a hint of letdown coloring your voice.
jude shook his head, his eyes dropping to the ground. âconfused about us? i mean, i havenât given it much thought, to be honest.â
his words landed on you like a sudden downpour, dousing the glimmer of hope you had held onto.
was it all in your imagination?
had you constructed something out of stolen glances and intimate moments that existed solely within your own mind?
the wind whispered through the bare branches, echoing the emptiness in your heart.
inhaling deeply, you managed a smile and said, âoh.. yeah, itâs okay,â while slipping your hands into your pockets. âletâs just keep going.â
as time passed, the silence became heavy with unspoken words. you paused once more and asked, âso, itâs just me?â
jude, lost in his own thoughts, blinked at you, still puzzled. âwhatâs bothering you so much?â he inquired, genuinely unable to grasp the turmoil brewing within you.
frustration urged within you. âhonestly, jude, what do you want?â you trembled as you demanded.
he shrugged, his face blank. âi want what we have now,â he replied, oblivious to the chasm between his contentment and your longing.
âwhat do we even have?â you exclaimed, desperation creeping into your voice. "meaningless sex and telling everyone weâre just friends. is that what you truly want?â
taken aback by your sudden intensity, jude struggled to respond. âwe have something that brings us both joy, donât we?â he stammered.
âare you genuinely happy?â you questioned.
he hesitated, caught off guard by your directness. âiâd say so, i suppose,â he replied cautiously. âand you?â
you averted your gaze, the wind tousling your hair. âi donât know,â you admitted softly, the weight of the words resonating. âdoes it even matter? i just want clarity.â
âi donât know what you want me to clarify,â he muttered.
he was well aware of the direction this conversation was heading, and he felt paralyzed, unable to take the necessary steps towards the impending confrontation.
âwill things remain the same?â your voice quivered, each word reflecting the hidden fears bubbling inside. âdo you really not see us going any further?â
jude clenched his jaw, your radiant smile haunting his thoughts. he despised himself for allowing things to escalate to this point, for leading you on when you were never intended to be anything more than a temporary diversion.
âi... i canât answer that, y/n,â he stammered, his voice weighed down by remorse.
âfor whose sake? mine or yours?â you questioned.
âfor both of us,â he responded, but the words lacked sincerity, even to his own ears.
your frustration, held back for so long, began to engulf you as you demanded. âlisten, i need an answer. now.â
you couldnât continue in this way any longer. it was time to determine if your time with jude was worthwhile, because honestly, it felt like a waste. the two of you seemed to follow a repetitive pattern: he would appear, have sex with you, and then vanish for weeks before the cycle repeated itself.
jude, caught in the midst of your emotional storm, could only stumble, âwhat will happen if i canât?â
you swallowed back a sob, the words you despised forming on your lips like bitter ashes. âthis thing... is over.â you uttered painfully.
the declaration hung heavily in the air, more of a surrender than a triumph. you observed, your heart racing, as judeâs expression turned vacant. you waited, desperately clinging to the last shreds of your composure.
and then, he simply uttered, âokay.â
his response, devoid of any emotion, felt like a blow to your stomach. you, momentarily stunned, could only repeat his word, âokay? what does that mean?â
jude shifted his weigh from foot to foot, recognizing the pain heâd cause you. âokay,â he corrected silently, âas in itâs over.â
the weight of his statement crashed down on you like a forceful wave. disbelief surged through you, threatening to overwhelm you with its icy grip.
tears, restrained for far too long, welled up in your eyes, distorting the city lights into shimmering trails of anguish.
âare you fucking serious?â you choked out quiveringly. âare you truly so afraid to confront our situation that youâre willing to throw it all away?â
jude glanced down, unable to bear the weight of your accusation. âiâm sorry you feel that way,â he muttered, his words carried away by the wind. âbut you were knew from the beginning.â
âknew what? that we were doomed to fail?â you retorted fiercely.
jude locked eyes with you, his expression filled with deep remorse. âyou were aware that i didn't want to treat this seriously,â he explained, his voice lacking the usual charm that eased your worries. âyou knew the circumstances.â
desperately clinging to shreds of hope, you pleaded, âthose things can change. no one makes the rules but us.â
however, jude remained firm in his decision. his shoulders slumped, his words laden with a burden you couldnât comprehend. âfor me, things donât change like that,â he confessed. âiâm sorry.â
the apology rang hollow, lost in the vast divide that had grown between the two of you. it became clear to you, unmistakably clear. this wasn't about circumstances or fate; it was about him. âjust be honest,â you said bitterly. âyou used me.â
jude flinched, a flicker of guilt flashing across his face. âdonât kid yourself, y/n,â he retorted defensively. âi made it clear that i wasnât interested in a serious relationship. itâs not my fault you misunderstood.â
each word felt like a dagger, piercing your heart. with a sickening realization, you understood that you have built a fragile castle of illusions, believing that stolen kisses and intimacy were promises of forever.
with one final, tearful glance at the man who shattered your heart, you turned away, unable to stand there and keep together any longer.
in the midst of that heavy silence and suffocating atmosphere, a profound realization washed over youâsex doesnât make someone love you.
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U hurt me with the fix but it was amazing anywayđ
Maybe a part 2? đŤŁ
thank you so much for reading!! đŤś
at the moment, i donât plan on making it part two, however i might consider later on.
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Girl........sleep with one eye after after writing that fic. Cause I'm gonna get you for that sad endingđ
lmfaooo sorry babesđ¤đ¤ but iâm a sucker for angst, canât stop writing it
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dominik szoboszlai blurbs masterlist
playing with dom's hair
getting dom to admit he's jealous
dom doesn't like how close you are with some of the boys
dom isn't happy when someone lays their hands on you
dom being whipped for you
dom breaking you in 18+
threesomes with trent and dom 18+
domi always holds your hand during sex 18+
teasing domi under the table at dinner with your parents 18+
trent and domi hard launching your relationship
domi looking after you when you're drunk
domi helping you put your necklaces on
what domi posts of you on instagram
looking after domi when he's injured
domi begging to fuck you 18+
face sitting with trent and domi 18+
going shopping with domi
soft sex with domi 18+
you find domi with another girl at the club
dom comes home to you and your baby
domi doesn't like the way his dad speaks to you
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