u are the right person.

Guinea Pigs Eating a Grass Field

More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

does anybody have a grenade I can use

everyday I pray Zillow makes a comment section

in the club straight up squandering it. and by it i mean. my potentioal

i really want two friends who will “beastie boy” my dialogue by yelling rhymes after I say everything

me: im going to the store to get some WATER

them: SOFIA COPPOLA IS FRANCIS FORD’S DAUGHTER

A cosmic tribute to my current favourite comment in YouTube history

antwithabindle.com/careers

Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.

I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.

Yeah i have a dark past (being 13). Just an absolutely horrible backstory (being 13). It would keep you up at night if i told you about it (i was 13 one time)

so i saw this tweet earlier

you too can have a pingus for the low low price of One Thousand Five Hundred pounds quid