can freaks on this site stop telling kids they have to hate themselves to be trans

adults, while forcing all children above the age of 5 to sit still, be silent, and obey orders for 7-8 hours a day with minimal breaks, reducing their exposure to fresh air and sunlight to almost nothing, forcing them to alter their natural sleeping patterns to increase productivity, and repeatedly telling them their self worth depends on their being able to follow these instructions perfectly for 13 or more years: kids these days are so lazy! they never go outside! they never want to do anything! clearly it’s not because of us!

When people tell stories about how their parents beat them, it’s always interesting to see their face change because they expected me to say “me too lol” but I instead say “I’m really sorry. You didn’t deserve that” Last time a co worker who also has West Indian parents was telling me in a joking way how he remembers being beaten with a belt because lied about his report card. As he was laughing it off and saying he deserved it, I just said “wow that’s awful hun. You didn’t deserve that.” And his whole face changed. Like it hadn’t occurred to him that it’s messed up that a part of remembering his childhood is remembering how badly it hurt to be beaten so badly at such a young age. Another time I had a friend, non West Indian parents, who talked about how she made a mess on a dress that her parents got her. It was really expensive apparently and she spilled red juice on it. She talked about how she was ordered to take the dress of and was beaten with a belt too without any clothes on. And she was laughing and said “I was a bad ass kid lol” and I said “no hun you were just a kid”. And she looked at me and immediately stopped laughing and just sat there like “yea…I was just a kid. I don’t know why they did that to me” My mom was raised in a household where she was beaten so badly….I just don’t understand how she is so loving now growing up in a home where she got so little love. They called it discipline, but once she became a social worker she began to see that it was abuse. That she grew up terrified of her parents, although they thought it was respect that my mom felt. It was fear. We have to get comfortable challenging what is often seen as cultural norms. We have to be a generation of people who are not ashamed to say “I would never beat my child”.

stop acting like it’s strange for boys to be feminine.

stop acting like it’s strange for boys to be affectionate.

stop acting like it’s strange for boys to be gentle.

stop acting like it’s strange for boys to be in love.

stop acting like it’s strange for boys to be sensitive.

stop acting like it’s strange for boys to be emotional.

stop forcing boys into your toxic masculinity; we are not robots.

so I’ve run across some really bad arguments lately :/

If you’re stuck on a waitlist for transition care, it’s not because the ~wrong type~ of trans people want to transition. The percentage of trans people within the overall population has been hugely underestimated over the years (here’s a paper on the subject); this is why the demand for transition care outweighs the availability in many places. It’s not non-dysphorics and ~tucutes~ screwing you over, it’s the medical system you’re trying to navigate. Demand better.

This entire post is satirical and I basically mean the exact opposite.

Are you tired of plain old suicide baiting, spreading hate to every trans person you meet, and then complaining about how no one likes you? Do you find there’s just not enough time in the day to spread hate to everyone? Or maybe you just want to save time for your various other hobbies, like actively ignoring the copious amounts of research that proves all your hateful “opinions” wrong? Well, have I got the product for you:

Misgendering(TM)!!

Misgendering(TM) is here to solve all of your problems. By simply making a post in which you misgender a single trans person, and let it be blatantly obvious that you have 0 respect for any human being ever, you’ll have spread enough hate and fear to last you for years! Not only will this emotionally scar those who you misgender, but you’ll be reminding all transgender people that for the rest of their lives, people are going to hate them for no good reason. Who needs suicide baiting when you can make a bunch of innocent minors feel completely alone in this awful world, am I right?

That’s Misgendering(TM)!!! Terms and conditions may apply.

This ^^^^ stop policing how trans people can and can’t look. Mind your own business and respect trans people.

I’m going to post more stuff like this soon, i really liked it. ~ mod Chris

please reblog if you support transpeople. i'm going to put them all into a google docs page so anyone who needs to know that they have people who support them will be able to go there and find a list of blogs

or a notebook so i can bring it to (my) church and shove it in the pastors face

[edit: here’s the google docs page]

THIS!!! IS!!!! SO!!! IMPORTANT!!!

Gender Norms & How They Affect Us

Gender Role (noun): The role or behavior learned or imposed upon a person as appropriate to their gender, determined by the prevailing cultural norms.

Gender norms, or gender roles, play a huge part in the history of most societies. They are ever-changing but tend to do so slowly. Already, the youth of today are challenging these norms more than ever - attempting to demolish the inequality between the sexes that plagues us all, such as pay gaps and male self-expression. They affect almost everything we do as humans - how a child is raised, what clothes we wear, whether or not we wear makeup, dye our hair, and so much more. 

However, with the evolution of the term “transtrender”, we now face a disconnect of who ‘can and can’t’ fight gender roles’. We face situations such as celebrating cisgender male makeup artists while simultaneously invalidating transgender men because they enjoy wearing makeup. We celebrate cisgender females wearing “masculine” clothes while invalidating transgender women who do not present as hyper-feminine.

As far as today’s media representation of transgender people goes, most of those who are in the spotlight tend to follow traditional gender roles. Their narrative often starts with, “I have known since I was little” - which is not at all uncommon! However, there is a lack of representation for transgender people who do not conform to traditional gender roles. This is true both for binary and non-binary transgender people. Even in the transgender community, there are those who do not support the validity of those who do not solely aim to “pass” as their gender identity.

Note: Passing is the act of being perceived as, by society, as the gender you identify as. I have made a much more detailed post about it - search #passing to find out more!

This causes widespread confusion on what it means to be transgender. Being trans does not and should not limit your gender or self-expression. In fact, gender identity, in general, has nothing to do with gender/self-expression! If a man wears a dress, it means one thing - he likes dresses! The social idea of masculinity, femininity, and androgyny can be so damaging for the transgender community - it forces us to make a choice that no one else has to make: transgender people are forced to choose between self-expression and “passing”, and are invalidated for choosing self-expression. We are told by society that we have to prove our gender identity, that we may only be “ourselves” if we fall into traditional gender roles of our gender identity. Which is the exact thing that cisgender people worldwide are trying to fight!

Transgender men are not less valid if they:

Do not/cannot bind or pack.

Like or wear “feminine” clothing.

Wear makeup.

Do not/cannot pass as “masculine”.

Transgender women are not less valid if they:

Do not/cannot tuck or wear padding.

Do not like or wear “feminine” clothing.

Do not wear makeup.

Do not shave.

Do not/cannot pass as “feminine”.

What makes transgender people trans is their gender identity and sense of self. Fight the gender roles that are forcefully imposed on the transgender community.

Sources:

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/gender_role

https://youtu.be/KzZfY_Kn8l0

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_expression

https://letsqueerthingsup.com/2015/03/28/why-the-trans-community-needs-to-ban-the-word-transtrender-for-good

/http://www.teni.ie/attachments/6d5d22d4-801c-4f2d-b456-299291cc17de.PDF

I feel this, I can never go to gay bars and I can only just barely tolerate pride when I'm drunk because I'm hypersensitive, especially to sound and light !!

Honestly being disabled affects so many LGBT+ people.

In my town there is only 1 bar that has wheelchair access and guess what?! It’s not the gay bar!

Gay bars are also not accessible (the vast majority of the time) to those who are sensitive to bright lights and loud sounds. Example; some people with epilepsy, autism, PTSD, Tourettes, social anxiety, ect.

The pride march I went to last year would not be accessible (reasonably) for someone in a wheelchair or let’s be real, anyone who can’t walk for an hour +. 

The local LGBT+ group I meet up at tries to be accessible but often forgets that if a location has to be changed then the same level of access will almost certainly not apply to the new location.

The LGBT+ friendly bookshop I visited while overseas had a tiny door which barely fit my small wheelchair. There was also a step halfway through the store which meant I only got to view half of the books that were aimed at me. 

A lot of LGBT+ resources online are not set out in a way that people with visual or learning disabilities can easily read, or read at all. 

The LGBT+ community as a whole (not just the disabled members)  need to make a conscious effort to include disabled people where-ever and whenever possible. 

We are just as much a part of the community as abled body/minded people. 

This is 100% okay for able body/minded people to reblog too. 

Support our own community directly!!! 🏳️‍🌈

Pride Nebulas

Seriously, all the big companies are going to start coming out with rainbow merch. That profit isn’t going to the community. I’m a queer, disabled artist and money doesn’t come easy. You can buy pride merch through me here.

Tumblr will probably stop this from circulating but as usual, I’m not allowed to do anything that helps me maybe survive. So seriously if you care at all, fucking signal boost this. I’m tired of fighting everyone and everything. I just want a happy existence away from my abuser.

Want pride merch? It’s here. Can’t afford it? Signal boost it. I’m so close to dying and I just don’t give a fuck anymore.

Today

So today, someone who has gone out of their way to make this point to me (anonymously I may add) misgendered me. Actually no. More accurately, this person went out of their way to find my birth name, and since I have their IP address blocked, used my birth name to anonymously comment on my friend’s Tellonym account to tell THEM to tell me to “stop calling myself a boy” because I’m “just an ugly girl”.

And you know what? Yes, it’s crushing. Yes, I’m already drowning under my own relapse of symptoms of my mental illness(es). Yes, I’m still crying about it - because I just want to know why on earth someone would do something so horrible. But you know what else? I feel sorry for him (and yes, I know EXACTLY who sent these messages).

I'm so so sorry that he feels so insecure. I’m so so sorry that the fact that I have days where I can choose self-expression over passing bothers him so much, maybe because he doesn’t have these days. I’m so so sorry that he is so full of anger over something or someone so insignificant at such a young age (16). And, I’m so so sorry that you don’t have a better coping mechanism to deal with this.

Yes, I’m upset - but most of all, I’m upset at a world that produces children like this. I’m transmasc, I use he/him pronouns, and I don’t have to prove it to him or anyone. No one should. Today, go tell your transgender friends that you love them and that you respect them. They might just need it.

Since Some People Apparently Need A Reminder

You do not get to decide whether or not you have hurt someone. I repeat, you do not get to decide whether or not you have hurt someone. What does this mean? Fucking apologize when you have hurt someone. I don’t care how small of stupid you think it is. Shut up, grow up, apologize, and explain that you didn’t mean to hurt or offend them. 

If you refuse to apologize for hurting someone, you need a raincheck on how you treat people. It is basic human decency. Stop making excuses along the lines of saying people are too sensitive or whatever - you’re just embarrassing yourself.

Gender Identity

I don’t give a fuck what you deem as a valid gender identity. I don’t care about your opinion on mogai labels. And, you know what? I don’t even care what you identify as reading this, be it cis, trans or what the heck ever. You will learn to respect someone when they tell you what they identify as. It costs you nothing to accept people and move on. In fact, all it costs is a little human decency. It doesn’t affect your life in any damn way what other people identify as, so mind your own damn business and shut your trap if you can’t show basic respect towards other human beings.

I don’t care if they’re “pushy.” I don’t care if “they’re an asshole.” I don’t care if they’re transmed, tucute, use mogai labels or what the fuck ever. Grow up and learn that you’re not “above” anyone, and stop acting like you are. You wanna know what really makes a lasting impact on others? When, despite anyone’s best efforts at trolling or provoking you, or despite your own personal opinions, you remain calm, collected, and respectful. 

Oh, and for god’s sake, learn the difference between transgender and otherkin.

If you think “cishet invaders pretending to be LGBT” is a real problem that justifies discouraging people from reaching out to their local LGBTQ+ communities, we can’t be friends.