Last Time On Total Drama Cruise Control: Can You Take the Heat?

CHALLENGE 13: Kingston, Jamaica

“Hello, contestants! Are we feeling…hungry,” Chris grins. “Actually, I have an important announcement for everyone! Mascots, please come forward...” The Beaver and The Tapir waddle their way up the front of the bow, each holding their mascot flags. Neither speak. “Starting today, teams are no more. Yep, merge is here baby! Say goodbye to your lovable mascots! Buh bye-bye!” The Mascots silently wave, but Chris suddenly shoves them both overboard! You hear two distinct splashes… and silence. “From now on, you all will be fighting for immunity, and the winner of each challenge will get the luxury floor all to themselves! Well, actually…they’ll get to pick one person to join them and reap the spoils, if they wish. Yep! Your last chance to grab any hot Mascot merchandise is gone now. We're dumping all of it into the ocean!" “Well, enough talk. I hope everyone is ready to expand your flavor profile!” The boat bellows, docking on yet another beach. Wait, this place, to some of you, might be familiar! “The kind people of Jamaica were so gracious to overlook my last visit and allowed us to visit once more! WELCOME TO KINGSTON, JAMAICA!”

Chris leads everyone to the beach, where a delicious smell wafts through ... it's so good, it almost makes your mouth water! “See? I told you there was a reason Chef didn't serve you all breakfast today! Or lunch...I wanted everyone to be HUNGRY! Awww. Don’t give me that face, I didn't hire just anyone to make us food…everyone say hello to our guest star, DJ!” DJ is stirring a pot, the contents inside smelling absolutely divine. He adds a dash of his special spice with a smile. “Hey everyone! Long time no see!” He takes a taste test, content with his cooking. “Chris! It’s almost done!” “Awesome! Today’s challenge is an eating contest! But we aren't eating hotdogs or pie...we are eating DJ’s famous jerk chicken! And it's SPICY! This is an endurance test for your tastebuds!" “Wait a minute….I thought you said this was for the locals! No offense but this…this is too spicy for...um...C-Chris!” “They’ll be fiiiine! I've got milk for them! Uh…I think…uh…hm. Well, we had milk.” The mascots were supposed to wheel in the cart full of milk...uh… “....oops! Well, DJ, get to plating, and everyone else, sit down and get ready!” DJ scoops out a plate of jerk chicken, handing them out to each and everyone. He gives a soft, nervous smile and a tiny, “I’m sorry…” under his breath. "Be careful, don't eat it too fast. I don't want anyone getting a stomachache...." The jerk chicken smells amazing, but you can feel the heat radiating from it… “OK! Are you ready? Get set, GO!” ROUND ONE! Everyone passes with flying colors! ROUND TWO! RAJ, LIGHTNING AND ALEJANDRO COULDN'T TAKE THE HEAT! It's like a dice bot is against him or something. Alejandro freaking taps out. Lightning coughs out his food! "Man, that spice was rough!" Raj starts coughing. Ough. He pushes his plate towards Wayne. ROUND THREE! WAYNE, MK, AMY AND RIPPER ARE OUT! TOO HOT TO HANDLE! As Wayne kept eating Raj’s seconds…oh oh! It’s coming back out… Wayne spits out an actual fireball out of his mouth, dragon-style…he passes out with smoke emitting from his mouth and nostrils. coughs smoke…Did I win, Rajie? Amy's coughing so much. She's OUT. sorry alejandro </3 MK’s still eating and… Oh fuck turns out she had tastebuds the whole time. She practically snorts out smoke. Ripper's stomach gurgles dangerously, and a fart follows. Oh. THAT hurt. Another. That REALLY hurts. The plate in front of him is pushed forward. He freezes, a look of contemplation on his face. ROUND FOUR, FINAL ROUND! JO VS BRICK VS HAROLD! Brick tries to take a bite....he tries......he finally gives out! "Yeah, I'm here too," Harold sulks as he eats more freaking chickeng. There's a gurgling most unpleasant in his stomach. He fears there is not much time left for him. bathroom NOW

THE WINNER OF THE SPICY JERK CHICKEN CONTEST IS...JO!

Jo sneers at DJ, the plate empty in front of her. “That was supposed to be spicy? Give me a break.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------

ELIMINATION:

It was Brick who was served the Mocktail of Misery and walked the Plank of Shame. Brick marches up to the plank of shame, he turns around to look at them all. "Don't worry. This is a good thing for me. I am free from my torment. I was never very good at this game after all." His eyes land onto a certain individual.... "Be careful. Not everyone on this boat is who they say they are." Brick salutes one last time, and jumps off the plank! THANK YOU FOR PLAYING! HAVE A GOOD TRIP, SOLIDER! ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>The Sea Tails (Wayne, Raj, Ripper, Amy and Alejandro) celebrate Ripper's return with dinner at a sports bar. Wayne and Ripper share a gross fry kiss. Amy and Alejandro leave early. There's ketchup everywhere. >Ripper wins a live cassowary from the crane machine! It attacks him, makes Trent bald, and chases Raj. It attacks the door to the confessional he's hiding in and runs off of the ship. >Raj is freaked out because he's afraid of birds, which Lightning finds out about. Wayne tries to comfort Raj while Lightning helps Ripper in the med room. Wayne and Lightning go off to find the cassowary while Ripper and Raj stay in the cabin. >Ripper and Raj talk through trauma and try to comfort each other. They do a little counting thing together that Raj taught Ripper in order to calm each other. >Raj has a nightmare. Wayne and Lightning finally return after the cassowary is eaten by a shark and dies. Wayne, Raj, and Ripper throw fries into the ocean for fun and Raj refuses to sleep. >Lightning tells Amy and Alejandro about Raj’s fear of birds without knowing it was a secret. They throw Lightning under the bus to cover up the fact that Amy already knew. Raj gets upset with Lightning and ends their friendship. >Wayne almost reveals the bird secret to Harold. He has a panic attack and thinks that he disappointed Raj. Raj tries to comfort him. >Harold tries to see if his vampire cure potion works. Amy and Raj are there and so is Trent very briefly. It didn't appear to do anything. >Ripper and Wayne work out together, bake a cake together and plan a prank on Raj, running around to gather the things to pull it off. They also go grocery shopping together and Wayne gifts Ripper a little spinning top. >Alejandro and Raj finish a Lego set together! >Jo is in mourning after Brick's elimination. >DJ does improv therapy with Harold and Jo at his jerk chicken stand. He plans on meeting up with Harold after the game. Ripper visits at the same time Harold does and attempts to break his new record right there in the middle of their conversation. He does not succeed, but he does discuss cooking with DJ. >Ripper and Lightning share drinks at a bar. Ripper asks Lightning for an alliance, and he agrees to it. >Sierra is following the ship, and MK has a conversation with her. Sierra mentions that MK was dating Caleb in the past. They discuss shipping discourse. >Ripper also has a conversation with Sierra. He is loving all of the attention and talk about he and Wayne's relationship until she reveals she got information about him from his dying Nonna on the phone. She actually initiated the conversation using his real name. > Jo has a conversation with Sierra at a bar. Sierra learned information about Jo by calling her parents and paying them to give some to her. They discuss her time on Revenge and as well as her relationship with Brick, Courtney, and Scott. The mention of Brick makes her upset, but her mood returns very quickly after Sierra offers to make fun of people with her. >Harold and Amy go wig shopping. Harold also buys a stuffed puppy that he gifts to DJ. > Alejandro and Amy sit at a park together. Alejandro discusses a heavy conversation he had with Ripper at a bar in the Bahamas. It was a personal conversation and Ripper shared parts of it with her. Amy comforts Alejandro and they swap their phone and camera, two items they've been sharing.

Last Time On Total Drama Cruise Control: A Tro-pig-al Vacation!

CHALLENGE 12: Big Major Cay

It looks like all the interns were able to scrape off all the goo from…..the incident. The incident that cannot be named. Chris was in a fresh Hawaiian shirt, his hair done, he looked like a new man. You see the interns move what looks like...a certain contestant's stuff near the edge of the bow. Chris gets a phone call, he answers as he paces back and forth.

“Uh huh. I know. I didn't plan for it. I swear. The people back home are mad why? It's Ripper! What? Someone wants to file a missing person report?! No. No, you listen here. I'm not risking the ratings for a rescue mission! Yeah, yeah because I can afford a UFO! Yes. Yes. No. No, I'm not. Look, can we just cut him out?” Chris looks stressed, running his hands through his hair.

“Look. Tell the old lady we'll do our very, very best to find her baby boy. Pay her whatever she wants to shut her trap until we can figure out something. It's elimination day, I'll deal with this later. Ok. OK OK OK. BYE.”

Chris hangs up, he glares at the interns.

“Is that all of it? Throw it overboard. We need to erase every single bit of Ripper off this ship. Now. I don't want to see him, smell him-” “Hello contestants! Nice day we're having, huh?” Chris made sure to have Chef stand behind him. For no reason. Chris steps in front of the piles of stuff, smiling widely. “Don't worry about that, we're just...holding onto it until Ripper comes back!”

Chris's phone goes off, he picks it up to read it, sighing loudly shoving it into his pocket. “FINE. Chef. Get the memorial photo.”

Chef brings in and sets down a memorial photo of Ripper on an easel, turning to the contestants.

“This episode was made in memory of...Ripper. He was...a person. Who will be missed. Any words?”

“Ok cool. Yeah, ship it.” Chef nods and grunts, taking the display right back into his arms to carry away.

“Hey, don't make that face at me, I could've sworn everyone went out for drinks after. Ok, onto more important things. Today's challenge! Today, we'll be landing in Big Major Cay, Exuma. Aka, THE BAHAMAS!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The boat bellows proudly, docking onto the sandy white beach. Beach goers look in awe of the massive boat, the crystal blue water lapping against the shore, it looks as if you walked right into a postcard. It was so unreal how beautiful everything looked. “Today we’ll be hitting up the famous Pig Beach, where I have hidden one golden Chris idol in the beautiful reefs offshore. You will need to snorkel down to find it and return it to me. Just one thing…this challenge has two parts. First, you need to get your snorkel gear, which is currently fitted onto the various pigs scattered on the beach. Go catch yourself a pig and gear up! The order in which you catch your pig will determine the order you dive in. Whoever returns the idol first wins it for the team.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Tapirs 1st. Raj 2nd. Courtney 3rd. Lightning 4th. Wayne 5th. Brick Beavers 1st. Harold 2nd. Alejandro 3rd. MK 4th. Amy 5th. Jo 6th. Sammy ------------------------------------------------------------------------

FIRST TWO TO DIVE, RAJ VS HAROLD!

Harold is swimming and swimming and swimming. He finds a fish and tries to befriend it. The fish is swimming away. He's following it. This fish freaking hates him, what the hell. What was he doing again?

Raj dives into the reef. He swims around for a moment, looking around… He thinks he sees a bit of gold nestled in a rock, but he starts to run out of air before he can do anything about it. He swims back up to the surface, coughing as he exits the water. “…Rock-” he tries to say quietly, cutting himself off with a wheeze as he tries to catch his breath. “It’s- it’s in a rock.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------

COURTNEY AND ALEJANDRO ARE NEXT, GET TO DIVING!

Courtney listens to Raj, swimming to the rock...she sees it too! A Glimmering gold...something? She runs out of air before she can get it. Courtney returns to shore. She’s sputtering and gasping for air. “I saw it! It’s down there!”

Alejandro jumps in the water, and he starts to look around. That makeup he wears immediately washes off. Shit. He can't see. He's so freaking scared. My god. He's actually starting to freak out now. He doesn't find anything. He resurfaces, scars of display and everything. "Sorry. I didn't find anything." ------------------------------------------------------------------------

NEXT ROUND IS LIGHTNING VS MK!

MK dives in and swims around. It’s kind of hard to see things she realizes. She tries to grab at something and… nope just some sand. Lightning emerges from the water. "Wayne! It's over there!" He points as he swims back to shore. ------------------------------------------------------------------------

NEXT ROUND IS WAYNE VS AMY! GET TO IT!

"Crud! No dice! Brick, it's over here! This is our last shot!" Wayne splashes out of the water and swims to shore…Crap! Amy swims, searching for the item. She catches a glimmer of gold nestled under a rock. She swims up for air. "I saw it! I saw... it's by a rock?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

NEXT ROUND! RAJ VS SAMMY!

Raj tries to swim towards where he’d seen it before, but his leg gets caught on some seaweed. He struggles for a moment, trying to get unstuck. He’s not very successful. By the time he gets unstuck, he runs out of air. He swims back to the surface, coughing. He’s empty-handed. Sammy frantically looks back and forth, until— Aha! Right there! It’s under the rock! She wriggles it back and forth, pulling with all her might, but feels her suit constrict with a lack of oxygen. She makes one final tug— but it slips from her grasp. She swims to the surface and gasps for air, defeated. ------------------------------------------------------------------------

NEXT ROUND! COURTNEY VS HAROLD! LET'S GO!

The freaking fish is back! Harold swims after it again. Courtney’s hand breaches the water before anything else. She’s holding the idol! She crawls onto the sand, small statuette held in her hand tightly. She’s holding on for dear life.

“I did it!”

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AND THAT'S A TAPIR WIN! GAME OVER!

"Anyways, that's it everyone! Tapirs, feel free to go explore the island- and Beavers I'll meet you on the....huh?"

A shooting star streaks across the sky. It's very bright, so it's visible... in the middle of the day?

In zooms a space ship. It takes itself down closer and closer to the contestants, producing wind like a helicopter.

It spits out a mass of green goo, which splatters onto the sand. It burbles…

It kinda sounds like…a fart, maybe?

... With a gasp, Ripper bursts from the sludge and tries his very best to gulp down air, eyes wide and full of panic.

"Nice try! We will NOT be taking part in biological warfare," One of the aliens say, their queen. "Ugh, and we thought COWS were bad. Do all Earth specimens produce that much methane? No wonder your planet is overheating and dying. You're a fool for allowing your stupid contestants to get a hold of corn. That's exactly how I knew where to drop it off! Oh, and Mclean? Watch your back." The spaceship zips off, and Ripper is left there in the goop. Ripper sputters through bits of alien goo, shivering and shaking from the shock. Despite this, he gives the best finger guns he can muster. "D-Did you MISS me?!"

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ELIMINATION:

It was Sammy who was served the Mocktail of Misery and walked the Plank of Shame.

Sammy stands up. She looks at her team and gives them a curt nod. “Well. Guess you can’t please everyone. Some people just love their villains.” She stares at Alejandro and Amy. “I can’t wait for everyone to find out what you guys are really like; what you really want, what you really think of your ‘friends’. You haven’t seen the last of me. You may have won the battle, but you won’t win the war.” She heads for the edge of the ship. “You’re making your families very proud. You’re just like them.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The sea tails (Ripper, Wayne, Raj, Alejandro, and Amy) share a moment in the hot tub! Ripper and Alejandro discuss life and death at a bar together. Ripper and Amy play with pigs on the beach. They discuss what happened at the bar with Alejandro. Raj makes a paper football out of an apology letter he received from Courtney. He and Ripper play with it together. Wayne and Ripper play dress up in the show theatre. Raj gets stuck on the beach with Brick and a bunch of seagulls. They talked through stuff. "Happernation" (Happy + Hibernation) starts for the Hockey Bros! A prank war ensues. Raj and Alejandro talk in the rec room and Raj braids his hair. Harold encounters a mysterious shop, which happens to be owned by Leonard. He sells him a cure for vampirism that must be blessed by a cleric. Wayne and Harold visit a church together in an attempt to cure the latter of his vampirism. The cleric there is able to bless the vial Harold gives him.

Tapir Custody Battle!

1/2 Love Square or 1/2 Sea Tails?

Last Time On Total Drama Cruise Control: Dance 'Til You're Dead! (Start Digging Your Graves!)

CHALLENGE 11: Rio De Janeiro, Brazil ______________________________________________

The streets of Rio were anything less but chaotic. Thousands of people, dressed in festival outfits, parties on the streets and floats and performers passed by. Chris is taking photos with some showgirls. The girls giggle, posing for him as they leave. Chris seems unphased, shooting them finger guns.

Chef struts out in an extravagant, feathered costume of his own.

“Oh, going all out I see?” Chris looks him up and down. “Love it.” He bites his lip.

"I knew you would." “Oh yeah! The challenge! It's a dance competition! It's going to be bracket style, whoever can wow the crowd gets to move on. The champion of the dance floor will win it all for their team!” ------------------------------------

OK! LETS GET IT! A PIT OPENS UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FESTIVAL. AND IT CALLS FOR TWO CONTESTANTS!

JO VS WAYNE "If I must." “U-Umm, okay! Dancin’s kinda like hockey…right?!”

TALK ABOUT ENERGY! JO'S BREAKDANCING GIVES THE BEAVERS THE WIN! SHE MOVES ON!

------------------------------------

DON'T STOP THE PARTY- BECAUSE THE PIT CALLS FOR MORE! LET'S GO! RIPPER VS LIGHTNING!

"Ready for that match, Stink-Bomb?" "Fight me, LIGHTNING." BLOWOUT! LIGHTNING TAKES THE WIN FOR THE TAPIRS! HE'S MOVING ON! ------------------------------------

LET'S KEEP THE GOOD TIMES ROLLING! ARE YOU READY FOR MORE, BECAUSE WE ARENT SLOWING DOWN! SCOTT VS HAROLD! "You aren't slaying enough, LOSER." “YEA WELL- FUCK, shit. Fuck”

WHOA! WELL, AS THEY SAY: IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE HEAT GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN! HAROLD WINS IT FOR THE BEAVERS, HE MOVES ON!

------------------------------------

DON'T STOP NOW! WE ARE ONLY GETTING STARTED!

NEXT UP, ALEJANDRO VS BRICK! LET'S GO!

"Let us dance, Alejandro." "I'm not dancing with you."

OW! TALK ABOUT A FLOP! ALEJANDRO TAKES THE WIN, HE MOVES ON! HOT HOT HOT! OR IN BRICK'S CASE! NOT!

------------------------------------

ANYWAYS! LET'S KEEP THE PARTY JUMPING! COURTNEY VS AMY! THE FLOOR CALLS YOU! "I’m gonna destroy that white girl!"

Ough……eugh…..the crowd mutters to themselves…..hmm…..party foul…. COURTNEY WINS! SHE'S MOVING ON!

------------------------------------ PLEASE. SOMEONE GOD PUMP UP THIS PARTY! LET'S GO! RAJ VS MK! “Hi, MK!” RIGHT NOW, IT'S A TOTAL BEAVER DOMINATION! MK WINS! BUT REMEMBER, THIS IS BY BRACKET! ANYTHING GOES! ------------------------------------

THE DANCE FLOOR IS GOING GETTING HOTTER, LETS KEEP IT GOING!

JO VS LIGHTNING! "You and me, Ex-Teammate!" "Let's get this fucking shit over with." OOOOHHHHH! AND SHES OUT! LIGHTNING IS MOVING ON TO THE FINALS! ------------------------------------

ALRIGHT! LETS GO, BEAVER VS BEAVER!

MK VS HAROLD! "Good luck, Ashley!" "You too, Harry." IN A BEAVER VS BEAVER FIGHT, ONLY ONE CAN LEAVE THE FLOOR ALIVE, AND ITS MK! SHE'S MOVING ON! ------------------------------------ NOW TIME FOR THE BIG ONE, TWO FIREY SOULS MEET IN THE PIT, STEP BACK, BECAUSE THINGS MIGHT GET H O T! ALEJANDRO VS COURTNEY! “Alejandro, care to tango? "Of course. Let us dance. Just the two of us." He leans, and plants a kiss on her cheek. "Just for you," He whispers out. “Wh— Wh—! He KISSED me! THAT’S CHEATING!” OOOHHHHH! AND ALEJANDRO TAKES THE WIN! HE'S MOVING ON! ------------------------------------

OK! THE FINALS! LIGHTNING VS ALEJANDRO VS MK! THATS RIGHT! ITS AN ALL-OUT ATTACK! ONE TO RULE THEM ALL AS THE DANCEFLOOR CHAMPION! ...

THE CROWD HAS CHOSEN THE DANCE FLOOR CHAMPION, AND WITH A MASSIVE ROAR, MK IS PICKED UP! MK WINS! BEAVER SWEEP! THE CROWD THROWS FLOWERS, BEADS AND CONFETTI! SHE IS EVEN GIVEN A CROWN, WHICH IS PLACED ON HER BEANIE! ------------------------------------

ELIMINATION:

"So…you might be wondering why I stopped…." "...that's because it's a tie. Scott and Raj....honestly, I would've booted you both off." "...but this is more fun." Chris holds up a single, shiny coin.

"Ok. Heads for Raj. Tails for Scott." Chris flips...and it lands on his wrist. He slaps it, covering the coin. He waits...

"….." "……Heads. Scott, your party ends here. Sorry man."

“Scott! W-W-Wait!!!” Wayne hands the handmade harpoon to Scott, tears still on his face. “T-T-Take this…p-please, be safe out there…! I made it for you, like I promised…”

It was Scott who was served the Mocktail of Misery and walked the Plank of Shame.

Well.. this is it. "I'm done?" He has to drop…. No more time left. "I can't believe I lost to a game of LUCK." He turns towards Wayne, seeing the weapon he acquired. "Give me the fucking harpoon, Waynker." He takes the harpoon from his hands. and looks to the edge. There's nothing... No Fang. Nothing. He hears the cries of his allies. His partners, he can't help but feel a tear well up for them... "I um. I love you both too." He looks down again, no more time left. "I...mm…" You have to jump, Scott. That's the rules. "Here goes nothing..." Plop.

>Courtney tells Raj that if Scott’s death would be his fault, thinking that there's a chance that Fang could get him after he jumped off the plank. >Ripper speaks to Courtney, who informs him of the fact she thinks Scott is dead and thought the hockey bros were celebrating that fact when they got emotional almost losing each other. >The Sea Tails (Alejandro, Ripper, Wayne, Raj, and new member Amy) break things in a junkyard to let off steam. Raj and Wayne find out that Courtney thinks they were celebrating from Ripper, and it makes them angry. They all set a car on fire and leave it there. >After insulting each other's partners, Brick and Ripper find themselves in a massive physical altercation at the bar. Blood, broken glass, the lot of it. >Brick leaves and trashes the Tapir boy's cabin, breaking the hockey bros' stuff. Wayne and Courtney get angry start yelling. Raj is panicking. > The hockey bros & Lightning form a bond while drinking apple juice together. >Alejandro, Jo, and Amy get crossfaded and gossip about Zoey. >Jo, Amy, and Harold watch Hamilton together. >Amy gives Harold the worst possible haircut.

Courtney, Brick, Wayne, and Ripper are all called into the Captain's Quarters for a talk from Chris himself. ------------------------------------

"One thing about producing a show is every fight, every little thing broken down to a glass needs to be recorded. For liability and insurance purposes. Oh, do you also know I need to get specialty cleaners to clean up all the blood in the bar? Hm?" Chris doesn't waste money on stupid things like that. But they don't need to know this. "Anyways. One way or another, all four of you are involved in this. I don't care how much, or who did what. In my eyes everyone here is guilty. So everyone is getting the same punishment. Chef, you know. The funny thing about this is how this alllllll happened over relationship drama." "You know Courtney, you of all people should know how these TV relationships work in the end. I bet a month after this show, all of you will be miserable, miserable exes. Like seriously, Ripper and Wayne? First, ew. Second. ew. I bet you think after winning the million you two will build a little love nest and buy a ice rink made of ice cream to fart around on. It's honestly kind of adorable that you two think you both are capable of anything deeper than the equivalent of two high schoolers hacking spitballs at each other." "And Courtney? Trying again with the reality TV love? At least Duncan was interesting. At least he made you something more than a whiny pain in my ass. And then you had to date...Brick? Honestly if I were you, I would've taken Jo or Scott and ran. What does Brick bring to the table? A wet bed and tears? Maybe you should drop him back at boot camp and try again." "Anyways. I'm not getting paid to lecture you about your poor decisions. I'm here to punish you. I want all four of you to write a 10-page essay on what you hate about your partner. Oh, and don't be slick and write "Oh, nothing," because Chef and I will be looking over them. Ripper and Brick will be locked in one rec room, Wayne and Courtney in the other. No visitors, no drinks, and no nothing until it's done. Can't think of something to write? Ask your little study buddy, they probably have a thing or two. Oh. And you aren't allowed to leave until it's done, and you will turn away anyone who tries to talk to you and you are not allowed to say why. Raj and Jo will have to survive a little bit without you." ------------------------------------

Oh? What's this?

Chris looks at the compass. It's…spinning wildly.

"Uh Chef…..where are we again?"

Chef looks at the map. "We just came from Brazil, we're supposed to be going to…"

He squints.

"I think we got a little off track."

The compass spins faster. And faster. And faster. Faster and faster and faster until-

It breaks. The whole cruise boat...it's swaying. No, It's trembling. The whole boat is trembling.

"Chef. Where are we."

"…The Bermuda Triangle."

SUDDENLY. EVERY ALARM ON THE BOAT IS GOING OFF. FIRE ALARMS, SOS, EVERY SIREN IS BLARING AND FLASHING!

In the night, you see something dart by as the alarms blare. You can't even hear anybody around you! Every phone, clock, and watch is flashing, ringing, and acting up. The boat rocks back and forth, more turbulent than it's ever been before. A few waves splash up onto the boat, wetting the floor beneath you.

"EVERYONE! GRAB A WEAPON!"

Chris sounds frantic, you can heard noises, muffled yelling and.....something you have never heard before.

"THIS IS NOT A CHALLENGE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!" "FORGET THE TEAMS, FORGET THE GAME! IT'S COMING-" the intercom cuts out! A HOARD OF TINY ALIENS SURROUND EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. THEY ARE CLIMBING UP YOUR LEGS, PULLING AT YOUR HAIR, THEY ARE EVERYWHERE! THE WAVE IS RELENTLESS. THE MORE YOU KILL THE MORE APPEAR. GREEN GOO IS PAINTED ALL OVER.

Suddenly, a large spaceship appears over the boat. It opens, and a wicked beam of blinding light shines down. Chris looks at it in absolute horror. "They want someone! They want a human, dude!"

Chris rips the alien on his head off himself, stepping on it like a bug. "RUNNNNNNNN!!!!!!"

The aliens are grabbing whoever they can get their tiny, slimy hands on. Its relentless, the spaceship hums louder and louder

Chris is standing in front of the UFO, the light so strong his hair is blown back. He blinks, he notices that the aliens, they have him! He is being dragged closer and closer to the light. "N-no! Get off me! GET OFF ME! CHEF! HELP ME!" Chef rushes over to grab Chris, tossing him at the wall. The spaceship hums even louder, the light is so hot....so bright! "NO NO!!!!! TAKE HIM!" Chris in a flash grabs the first person he sees. Ripper. "SCREW YOU, CHRIS! YOU DID THIS TO ME!"

Ripper is sucked up into the ship, the second he's out of sight, the UFO closes, and it zips off like a shooting star.

...a single crumbled up piece of paper flutters down in his place.

Ripper is…nowhere in sight. ------------------------------------

> Ripper is abducted by aliens! >Alejandro, Amy, MK, and Jo immediately going to the bar to drink afterwards. >MK teaches them how to shuffle. >Wayne and Raj are a horrible mess and they're putting a bunch of corn on the bow for Ripper, thinking the aliens will notice it. Because aliens like corn, clearly. >Raj and Lightning attempt make plans to rescue Ripper.

MK is the dancefloor champion and Ripper was abducted by aliens! It looks like anything can happen on a show where few safety regulations are in play. Who will rise? Who will fall? Is anyone going to clean up this alien goo!? Find out next time on TOTAL! DRAMA! CRUUUIISE CONTROL!

[Total Drama Cruise Control] Wayne and Ripper playing dress-up in the ship's show theater ! "Does the PRANK KING need a PRANK QUEEEEEN?"

ft @itsprjc 's Wayne!

Last Time On Total Drama Cruise Control: Another Quali-tea Challenge!

CHALLENGE 10: - Montevideo, Uruguay ______________________________________________

“Can you believe that your trip is halfway complete already? This is the 10th Challenge, congratulations to everyone who has made it here! Hopefully everyone isn't getting sick of partying, because the party is really starting to heat up now!” “In today's challenge, you will have to rollerblade down the strip, talking to locals and collecting three items to make Yerba mate. These items are: A calabash gourd The Yerba mate Tea Leaves Hot water

“You will then rollerblade back and give your ingredients to a fourth teammate to prepare the drink. Now, to make Yerba mate it requires the person to pack the tea powder very carefully, or else it will become clumpy and undrinkable. I recommend picking someone with delicate hands for this. The three skaters should also have a good of balance and smarts to traverse the city and communicate to the locals. I expect you all to be friendly and speak to the locals in Spanish. Anyone who already speaks it, I expect you to not speak at all. To make things fair.” “You all have 5 minutes to pick your three skaters, and your brewer!” ______________________________________________

Tapirs Skaters: Wayne, Raj, Lightning Brewer: Courtney Beavers Skaters: Harold, Jo, Amy Brewer: MK ______________________________________________

Wayne VS Harold - Find the Calabash Gourd!

“O-Oh….umm, hola?….calabash-a for favor?…” That makes sense, right?! "Calabash gourd…" Harold sniffles, sliding around.

The locals give Harold a very confused, concerned look. They take a step back…

For Wayne, the local smiles and nods. They respond in Spanish, handing him the gourd! Harold sniffles more. Harold sniffles and scoots around…a local does take pity, pulling him aside speaking in Spanish. They hand him the gourd….

______________________________________________

Raj VS Jo - Find the Yerba mate tea leaves!

“Um…Hola! Yerba mate? Por favor? No…no habla español.” Jo brakes roughly in front of them. “Thé? Yerba mate? Por favor?”

Jo's sheer force allows a local to shakily hand her the tea leaves. They aren't sure what she is saying, but it's in an angry enough tone for them to give it up….

The local gives Raj a shy smile, she says something in Spanish….you don't understand it, but she eventually points at the sign in the building. Raj. This is a bank. She does point at another location.

He skates away, going in the direction the local had pointed. After aimlessly skating around Raj did find the tea leaves!

______________________________________________ Lightning VS Amy - Find hot water!

"Oh no… How can Lightning catch up?"

"Hola! Hola… agua? Soy… uh." She glances around. "Agua, no fría. Por favor, caliente. Gracias."

Lightning isn't doing much better. Every local either gives him a confused look, or tries to give him everything but the water. Fruit….flyers…..a bottle of iced tea?

Amy is lucky and after only a few tries a old woman offers her a kettle of hot water. Careful!

Lightning points at the Hot water one more time! Lightning, you nearly crash into a fruit stand, causing the owner to cuss at you in Spanish! He does thrust the kettle at you as a way to make you go away! ______________________________________________

MK VS Courtney - Brew the tea!

MK and Courtney....the two of you make your drinks. Courtney has it justttt right, only for the powder to flop to the bottom. It is a mushy, undrinkable mess.

MK WINS IT! BEAVER WIN!

______________________________________________ ELIMINATION: It was Trent who was served the Mocktail of Misery and walked the Plank of Shame.

"Okay, you know what?" Trent stands up, positioning himself in front of everyone. "Fuck all of you guys. Bunch of pieces of shit. I'll tell you guys what I think of you. Wayne and Raj? You guys are actually cool. Whatever. But everyone else? Full of bullshit. Total assholes. I never liked any of you guys. Not Courtney, not Lightning, not even Alejandro. Yeah, I wasn't fucking in love with him. I just did it for fun. And, hell, I don't even like Amy either! I didn't even think of Harold as my friend, or Sugar as my best friend." He takes off his shirt, revealing his freaking noco and aletrent tattoos ^_^ "And look at what I fucking have. What for? Just so I can get voted off? I did all of this just so I can fit in with you guys."

He pauses, catching his breath, before pointing at Wayne and Raj. "Alejandro is playing you guys and you don't even know it. You think just because he seems like he changed, he won't manipulate you. He hasn't changed, not one bit. You know, maybe he was right! Everyone leaves him for a fucking reason. You guys are just so naïve that you can't see Alejandro in his true nature! But I know. I fucking know it."

Maybe he's rambling, but whatever, right? He's eliminated anyways. "All of you guys are disgusting. The way you play this game makes me so fucking mad. I hate all of you. The beavers are fucking included." He raises his middle finger, stepping off the plank. ______________________________________________

> Courtney tells Raj about World Tour & that Alejandro is manipulating him! > Courtney gets angry with Ripper for leaving a wooden skull he won in their hotel room, a reminder of her ex. Ripper promises her that they'll burn the skull and a hair tie he has from Julia together. When they eventually do, Courtney admits that she wants to drop law and go into show business instead. Ripper tells Courtney his most important use for the money, which is to take his nonna back to Italy and help complete her bucket list with her. She is dying, and she is the only member of his family that matters to him. > The day after Wayne comes out to Raj, both Ripper and Wayne admit they have feelings for each other. They kiss on the bow of the ship and turn it into a challenge. (Because of course they did.) > Wayne carries Raj around with a piggyback ride while they discuss Alejandro possibly betraying them. Wee! > Raj gets mad at Lightning for lying to Wayne! Lightning promised he would vote for Courtney and did not. > Alejandro, Amy, and Ripper get cross faded together. Ripper discusses his abusive family life. Amy brings out the Alejandro puppet and he is thoroughly delighted by it. > Lightning is having an inferiority complex arc! > Ripper and Alejandro go wine tasting together. It appears Ripper knows a little more than Alejandro does for once. -Ripper brought a bottle back for a date with Wayne by the pool. > Wayne and Ripper break into one of the ships kitchens to bake a cake together. > Jo and Brick have a little wine date. Brick talks about his secret about fashion school (He almost failed, and Jo kept him motivated.) ...Then got wine drunk. > MK and Jo are trying to scam people with a slot machine. > Harold voted for Alejandro (an alliance mate) in the previous elimination and thinks no one knows about it...but Alejandro knows. Chris told him that he and Amy both had two votes. > Harold and Scott have their first ever interaction and immediately become enemies. Harold has been peeing on Scott's pillow in rat form ever since. > Amy happens upon Zoey. They throw insults back and forth and scribble on each other with sharpie. > Everyone prepares for the next challenge! They are provided with materials to make costumes. This includes glitter, feathers, and little fake gemstones. Raj and Wayne get into a glitter fight. Ripper gets caught in the crossfire. Brick attempts to help Courtney in making a costume.

Last Time On Total Drama Cruise Control: WE'RE PUSHING DAISIES!

CHALLENGE 9: - SALINAS, ECUADOR

______________________________________________ Everyone is in the lobby of the hotel. Chris is seen arguing with the receptionist, Chef by his side.

“What do you mean the ballroom is in use?! I reserved it months ago! Oh, boo hoo it's someone's wedding, kick them out! I have a TV show to run!”

"Let them be happy, Chris." "They can be happy SOMEWHERE ELSE."

"You're only saying that because you're never happy."

“Look. I have a very strict schedule. I don't have time to wait around and-”

As Chris is arguing, suddenly a staff member from the hotel comes running up to everyone.

“Oh Thank God the new people are here. Come with me. I know today was your training day but we don't have time.”

Everyone is shuffled out as Chris argues away!

Everyone...you aren't with Chris and Chef up front anymore, the hotel staff member rushes you all to another part of the hotel… The receptionist calls for a manager, and Chris turns around to speak with Chef. "God! People! The worse!" ... "Chef, where is everyone?"

Chef looks around. The kids are missing.

"Um. They're somewhere."

______________________________________________

The staff member leads everyone onto what looks like a dining hall. The view of the ocean here is honestly breathtaking, but you also notice….all the old people lounging around. They look bored.

“Ok. So we get a lot of elderly tourists coming here to retire, and we usually have staff check on them. But everyone quit. I know we promised you all training first, but we don't have time. Just…serve them food and talk to them. Please?” “Ok. I will warn you, some of them…they might think you're someone else. Just roll with it, can't have the guest all upset now, here. I'll put you in groups.” Wayne/RajJo/RipperLightning/ Trent/ ScottSugar/ BrickHarold / MKAlejandro/ Amy/ Sammy

______________________________________________ Wayne and Raj - Bitter Rivals "Oh, I'm so happy you two are talking again, I know it's hard after the incident at Drayne's wedding...." "Not to open old wounds, but it was quite a scene! Drayne, how's the wife? Hopefully she got over that comment Ryan said.....oh, talk about having too much to drink! Hoo hoo, you should've known better and not talk about the dress!" "You know how women are with jewelry. But I'm happy to see you two get along. Oh, I remember how you two would fight over everything, you two ran your parents rugged! Hoo hoo! Nice to see you two finally made up." "You were right to tell that hussy that her dress made her look like a hippo. She deserved it." Wayne and Raj are faced with an elderly man who believes they are his great grandsons, who constantly fight with each other. He recalls a particularly gnarly incident at "Drayne's" wedding. Wayne and Raj leave the situation uncomfortable, upset with the fact they had to pretend they'd ever fight with each other. Jo and Ripper - Gossip Grandma/Werther's Feeder

"Oh hello...want a Werther dearie?" "Oh River, I thought I told you not to hang around people like that...people who have trouble with the law. Heaven knows you're familiar with it too...with the inheritance and everything. Have a Werther, dear." "It's just...so hard looking after my Grandson. He's had it rough with his parents and all that. Oh, I would turn to crime if I was left all alone. Here, do you want a another Werther?" "My advice for you two. Don't worry about being left alone, only The Lord Above can judge you. You'll find people in your life that will accept you, and what you did in your past."

Jo and Ripper speak to an elderly woman who won't stop feeding them Werther's Original candies. (Mostly taken by Ripper.) She also seems to know a few secrets about the two...

Lightning, Trent, and Scott - Old Friend/Love Advice

"Oh, oh! Is that you, Randolph? Oh, I haven't seen you in years. Getting pretty frail, aren'tcha? Those old bones don't feel like they used to, huh?"

"Tristin, it's good you came to see your old grandpappy! Who's the girl? Do you need me to give you some advice? I've had many experiences with women in my lifetime." "Oh, RANDOLPH! You're looking frailer by the day…Are you alright? I feel like I should be taking care of you," The old man chuckles. "Maybe you should hit the gym!" "Now, Tristin, don't you have something to tell Scarlett here? You like her, right? Tell her. Tell her that. Be open and upfront."

The old man Lightning, Trent, and Scott are assigned immediately targets Lightning's fear of becoming weak, thinking he is an old friend. Trent is misidentified as his grandson, and he believes Scott is a girl he's brought along. He urges Trent to tell Scott that he loves him, thinking he may want to be more than friends. Trent proposes to Scott on the spot, and Scott says yes. Sugar and Brick - Newly Weds "Oh, how I missed your face, Bryan! You and your wife are just so cute together. I remember your wedding like it was yesterday! How's the baby doing?"

"Isn't being a mother wonderful? How has that been treating you?" "I'm sure fatherhood has been a joy for you, Bryan. Please come visit more often! Oh, Lakynn, what a beautiful baby." "It's okay, Bryan. I'm here for you." Sugar and Brick are mistaken for a married couple with a baby. Brick desperately attempts to keep the peace, but Sugar begins to pull out her acting skills, accusing Brick of a slew of things before claiming she wants a divorce. Brick decides to play along. Harold and MK - Grandson & Grandaughter/Complainy Boomer

"Oh, it's you! My lovely grandson and granddaughter. You know, back in MY day we didn't wear silly clothes like that. Are you both out of your minds?" "What a shame. How many cellphones does one girl need? I can see them weighing down your pockets, you know! We got by just fine without them. Cell phones are making your brains rot! No, 5G is making your brains rot! Speaking of your brains rotting, this reminds me of the stupid fight you two had as kids. You remember the one, right?" "Brand deals? Helping pay for treatment? Hm, maybe I misjudged you both. As long as you're making money, I don't care what you do! I need my medicines!" "Goodbye, Harry. I'll see you in Hell." Harold and MK speak with an old boomer who believes they are both his grandkids. MK leads him to believe that Harold is sick and dying. Alejandro, Amy, and Sammy - Awkward Couple

"Oh, my darling Granddaughter. Come here, come sit down! Oh. And your sister. Yes. Sit down! ...I see you brought your boyfriend."

"Dear, didn't we have this talk already? I don't mean to be a bore, but I thought you were…moving on from that boy. He should've stayed with that wretched ex of his...instead of dragging my sweet perfect granddaughter down."

"Not Now, Sammy Dearie. Amy and I are talking. Oh my, my poor sweet granddaughter, blinded by young love. Can't say I haven't experienced it before. It's just...you could do so much better Amy. You are my Granddaughter. You could have any boy or girl you wanted…why him?"

"Do you think all your flowery words will impress me? You may have brainwashed my granddaughter, but not me. You can judge a man's words or his actions. And I know for you. Those are two different things. But if this is how my sweet angel wants to experience heartbreak, then who am I for stopping her? What a shame. Really. It's so nice to see you two try to be nice to Samey-Sammy. I know she can be…difficult to get along with. Thank for at least doing that."

The old woman Alejandro, Amy, and Sammy are faced with thinks that Amy and Sammy are her granddaughters. She also believes that Amy and Alejandro are a couple. She's very upset about this fact. Throughout the interaction, Sammy is blatantly ignored and brushed off.

TIEBREAKER! The contestants were asked to privately vote for which contestant they believed could lead their team to victory! Alejandro VS Trent!

"Al! Make yourself useful and get me some salt. This soup tastes like a possum's ass."

"Whatever...kids these days. No respect for elders. No respect for nothing! I mean, look at you. A grown man with long hair. Who do you think you are, a rock star? Heh, yet you end up here. Serving me. Hmph."

"Excuse me?! I've never met an Alejandro who-whatsit. Nor do I care. You need to get an attitude fix. I ain't scared of nobody! You. Stop standing around and get me some pepper. This man clearly has no idea how to serve people. Maybe you'll do better. Hurry! My soup is getting cold…."

"You and your stupid haircut. Do you think any girl would talk to you looking like that?! Men these days…soft and weak…pathetic! Just standing around, waiting to be told what to do. You know back in my day; men went to war! They did something with themselves!"

Alejandro chooses to argue with the old man he's faced with, while Trent follows his orders and hands him the pepper he asked for.

It's a victory for the TERRIBLE TAPIRS! ______________________________________________

ELIMINATION: Sammy was voted out and received the cocktail of shame! ...Or was she? It's clear to her that Amy and Alejandro are part of the reason she was voted off. "This isn't how I wanted today to go. I'm really, really sorry." "You expect me to believe that? You're dead to me. Both of you. Do you hear me? Dead! You guys want to disappear so badly? Fine. I'll make you disappear. I'll make sure no one wants to talk to you or think about you again, after all is said and done. Mark my words, I will make you two pay!" Suddenly, everyone can here rapid footsteps approaching. "WAIT," someone shouts! ... IT'S SUGAR! "CHRISTOPHER. McLEAN! I. QUIT! This pageant AIN’T my callin’… ACTING is! LARS von TRIER WAS AT THAT HOTEL… HE SAW MY PERFORMANCE! And it blew his tits CLEAN OFF! SUGAR IS GONNA BE A STAR! So take me Chris… Take me instead of whateva POOR SOUL got eliminated tonight! Because I won’t be makin MILLIONS at the box office… I’ll be MAKING TRILLIONS!" ... It was Sugar who was served the Mocktail of Misery and walked the Plank of Shame. ______________________________________________ "Oh Yeah. Forgot about the boat. Just a reminder, the boat is off limits for maintenance, everyone will have an assigned hotel room until next week. Got it? Good!"

Chris drops a piece of paper at the counter. He makes his to the elevator and leaves….

The paper says:

801 Ripper/Courtney 802 Alejandro/Brick 803 Amy/Wayne 804 Raj/Sammy 805 Trent/Scott 806 Harold/Lightning 807 MK/Jo

______________________________________________

>Alejandro corners Brick. He has to ensure the Tapirs lose and vote for Courtney or he's sending Jo home. >Alejandro and Ripper talk on the beach together. Alejandro discusses his plan to disappear with Amy. Ripper enables this decision. >The Sea Tails (Alejandro, Ripper, Wayne, and Raj) have a sleepover in the lobby. There were pillow fights, nail painting, and a very uncomfortable Alejandro. >Raj gets fed up with the amount of people lying to him constantly. >Alejandro revisits the old woman who spoke down to him during the challenge. "Young Man, you do know that I am merely an actor. All of us, well- most of us were. Did you really think your host lost you?" "I hope you rot in Hell!" > The Seatails band together and attempt to get Courtney eliminated. Well, mostly Ripper and Alejandro. > Scott and Trent get a divorce. #divorce > The hockey bros and Ripper go on a fishing trip! Raj is scared of birds, so when a seagull shows up, Wayne and Ripper fight it off. Ripper specifically took to waving his fishing pole around. > Sammy walks into the ship's club, only to find a crossfaded Alejandro and Amy. Sitting through their conversations is genuinely Hell on Earth. Alejandro explains that he wants to be friends with both of them, but that it isn't possible. Alejandro and Amy receive punishments for having access to the confessionals! > Alejandro has to go on a date with Trent! A successful one. Needless to say, he was not able to achieve that goal. Trent is very aware Alejandro doesn't love him back. > Amy is handcuffed to Ripper, which isn't the best outcome given Chris persuaded him to help out with gelato. They're calling each other "bathroom buddies" now.

A Tapir leaving the game despite their win...Things are getting crazy! Love and hate blossom on this boat, and our garden grows each and every day! How much longer will Alejandro and Amy last? How are Trent and Scott going to survive such a terrible divorce? (#divorce.) And will people PLEASE stop lying to Raj!? Find out next time on TOTAL! DRAMA! CRUUUIISE CONTROL!

[Total Drama: Cruise Control]

Amy receives a punishment for foul play! Which is...being handcuffed to Ripper. Chris coerced him into helping with gelato. Sorry, Amy.

[ Total Drama: Cruise Control ]

There was a super awkward masquerade today.

Loved being able to design a little mask for him.

⚜️⚜️⚜️

[Total Drama: Cruise Control]

Some more Rippers, as expected.

[ Total Drama: Cruise Control ]

Someone just found out his "gf" never loved him and was using him for the game

[ Total Drama: Cruise Control ] Alejandro, for @heatherra 's contest!

Last Time On Total Drama Cruise Control: SOMETHING FISHY IS AFOOT!

CHALLENGE 8: - MANZANILLO, COLIMA “Manzanillo is famous for its sport fishing, and today we're hunting down the mascot of this resort...the blue marlin! Each boat has three posts someone will need to work- the driver's seat to drive the boat, an angler to strap to the fishing chair and reel it in, and a netter ready to catch the fish and land it! The blue marlin is no joke, it'll put up a real fight, and watch out for that nose! Seriously, I don't think the insurance covers for fishing accidents...” “...Anyways, whoever lands the fish first wins. Just know it has to be a blue marlin. I'm not eating any other- um. I mean. I will not accept any other fish. You will be catching and releasing them...” ______________________________________________

Tapirs: Driver: Courtney Angler: Lightning Netter: WayneBeavers: Driver: Sammy Angler: Alejandro Netter: Ripper

______________________________________________

ALRIGHT, DRIVERS. YOUR JOB IS TO CRUISE AROUND AND LOOK FOR SIGNS OF THE BLUE MARLIN. ANGLERS YOUR JOB IS TO CAST A LINE OUT AND HOOK A FISH, THEN REEL IT IN. NETTERS, ONCE THE FISH IS CLOSE ENOUGH, YOUR JOB IS TO CAST A NET AND LAND THE FISH ONTO THE BOAT!

> The Beavers take the lead with a Marlin secured on the line, Tapirs still need find one…. > AND THE TAPIRS HOOK THE MARLIN. BUT CAN THEY HOLD IT?! > BEAVERS HOLD ONTO THE LEAD WITH THE BLUE MARLIN HALFWAY TO THE BOAT! > TAPIRS NEARLY LOSE THE FISH, BUT LIGHTNING SECURES IT IN AND STARTS REELING! > BEAVERS! ALEJANDRO REELED IN YOUR FISH! GET TO NETTING! > TAPIRS. LIGHTNING'S REELING SKILLS WAS ABLE TO REEL YOUR FISH UP TO THE BOAT, GET NETTING! > BOTH TEAMS ARE TIED! > BEAVERS! THE FISH GETS AWAY! ALEJANDRO YOU CAN STILL TRY TO REHOOK IT! > TAPIRS! WAYNE CASTS HIS NET AND SECURES THE FISH! > TAPIRS! WAYNE HAS THE FISH HALFWAY ON THE BOAT! JUST A LITTLE MORE….. > BEAVERS! RIPPER NETTED THE FISH, ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS GET IT IN! > WAYNE! WITH A HEAVE HO AND A LITTLE HOOT HOOT...YOUR MARLIN LANDS ON THE BOAT! IT WILDLY THRASHES AROUND! > BEAVERS JUST COULDN'T GET IT ON THE BOAT IN TIME! TAPIRS WIN! GAME OVER!

______________________________________________

ELIMINATION: It was Millie who was served the Mocktail of Misery and walked the Plank of Shame. ______________________________________________

What's that? Wayne won't let Chris take the fish and lets it go? That's not good for the Tapirs... "With the Beavers down to 6 members, and the Tapirs with 9, I have decided... Beavers, Pick yourself a Tapir!" "….Jo. Congrats! You're a Beaver now!" ______________________________________________ >Trent pushes Alejandro into the pool. This is the first time Alejandro has been in a body of water this season. His makeup washes off, which reveals his scars. >Harold drank Amy's blood while dressed in a nurse costume. >Harold dons the nurse outfit once again. He and Alejandro, who is dressed as a doctor, sneak into a blood bank with fake IDs to steal blood. The blood is then stored in a fridge and Harold makes popsicles out of some of it. >Alejandro and Amy enable each other, as per usual.

>Ripper finally tells Raj that he has a crush on Wayne. >Raj shares Alejandro the full story behind why he's afraid of birds. (Cassowaries are brutal.) >Wayne won a cassowary plushie from the crane machine. It falls out of his pocket during a talk with Raj. Raj fearfully points it out, and Wayne quickly rushes to boil the thing in the kitchen. Yes, it is left to boil in a pot. They leave it there. >Wayne shares gifts with Alejandro, Raj, and Ripper. The drawing Alejandro is gifted acted as an apology, as Wayne realizes things don't seem to be clicking with them as friends. >The Sea Tails (Alejandro, Raj, Wayne, Ripper) visit a museum. Wayne accidentally brings up several sore subjects for Alejandro. Raj is still shaken and upset from the incident with the cassowary plushie earlier that day. It's clear Ripper doesn't want to be here, either. Museums are boring. Sea Tails meetings usually leave everyone sad, and Wayne feels it is his fault this time. He leaves, not before giving Raj and Ripper a hug. Alejandro does not receive one. >Alejandro, Ripper, and Raj wander into a volcano exhibit by accident, and they attempt to comfort him and take him out of the room as soon as possible. >Raj and Jo have an extremely brief argument. They start talking about their pets and everything is okay. >The Love Square (Brick, Scott, Courtney, Jo) are finally OFFICIAL! >Alejandro lends Ripper his camera. Ripper responds by immediately taking a picture of himself flipping Alejandro the bird. Blood sucking vampires and mounds of trauma, this ship has everything! Is the Love Square stronger now that they're together? Will Alejandro ever find a way to tolerate Wayne? Why is Trent shoving people so much? Find out next time on TOTAL! DRAMA! CRUUUIISE CONTROL!

Last Time On Total Drama Cruise Control: SURF N' SHART!

CHALLENGE 7: - CABO SAN LUCAS “Welcome to Cabo San Lucas! Oh, I can taste those margaritas…. Anyways, today's challenge is going to be a surfing race! One person from each team will be on the board, and the rest of you will have to follow them on these state-of-the-art Chris McLean Jet Skis! Use the wake your skis make to keep your surfers going. And whoever makes it to shore first wins! I don't feel like listening to you all fight over the board, so I'm picking! Harold, Lightning- you're up!"

______________________________________________

LIGHTNING AND HAROLD SET OFF, CATCHING A LARGE WAVE. TEAMS, FOLLOW THEM! > The waves are roaring! The wakes of the jetski feeding it, it goes higher and higher as Lightning and Harold hang on! It looks like both of them are evenly matched! >Um.....Scott.....is that.....a dark shadow following you?.... > Suddenly, Fang leaps out of the water! With a mighty roar he clamps down on Scott's jetski! > Fang thrashed violently around, snapping and tearing about! > With the Tapirs distracted with Fang....Lightning's wave dies down and Harold takes the lead! > Both Courtney and Jo begin attacking Fang! > Brick pulls Scott onto his jet ski! The love square truly looks out for each other. > The Tapirs try to catch up, but it's not enough! Harold is way too far ahead! > Fang leaps up, this time landing on the back of Jo's jetski. The sudden weight change makes it rear up! > In the chaos, Harold loses it- giving Lightning enough time to catch up! It looks like it's a slight Tapir lead! (Harold is mostly burning to death. Because he's a vampire.) > The love square battles with Fang! > HAROLD BARELY NABS THE LEAD! THIS IS A CLOSE CALL! > It's looking like the Tapirs are getting back! Lightning takes the lead! But something lurks behind him... > WITH 204 POINTS FOR THE TAPIRS, AND 228 POINTS FOR THE BEAVERS, FANG CLAMPS DOWN ON LIGHTNING'S SURFBOARD, KNOCKING HIM OFF! HAROLD SAFELY MAKES IT TO SHORE! The Bawling Beavers take the win! > Alejandro, Amy, and Ripper immediately begin kicking sand at Harold the moment they reach shore in celebration! Awesome! > A few of the Tapirs are left with injuries! Ouch! Thank you, Fang!

______________________________________________

ELIMINATION: It was Topher who was served the Mocktail of Misery and walked the Plank of Shame. ______________________________________________

A Masquerade in Cabo San Lucas! No one recognizes each other! How fun!

> Brick dances with Alejandro, and they don't recognize each other...at first. Alejandro realizes it's Brick after he's called "sir." The next time they meet in the club, Alejandro takes off his mask and...Brick gets violently ill. All over him. > Trent's sudden friendship with Amy turns into an attachment. Amy later has to break the news to him, that her persona wasn't real. She does this by calling him the fake name he gave her, Jeremy. > Ripper spills feelings to who he thinks is a total stranger. It's Lightning, actually. The same guy he was teasing just a few days before. They no longer appear to dislike each other. > During the party, Raj recognizes Wayne, but Wayne doesn't recognize Raj. Wayne starts talking about his best friend, and Raj thinks he's talking about someone else, and not him. He runs out and panics on the beach, but Wayne is able to locate and comfort him. Raj tells him that someone on the ship (Alejandro) said that his best friend would hurt him on purpose someday. ______________________________________________ > Wayne, Raj and Ripper have a hot tub moment together. Ripper gifts Wayne a bandana that he'd stolen from Harold. Neither of them know it was stolen. Raj scolds Ripper for kicking sand at Harold. The hockey bros make Ripper apologize. > Ripper does not want to apologize to Harold, but he does so anyways. They form an alliance. >Alejandro and Amy promise to share with each other who they spent the night with. Amy reveals it was Trent, and Alejandro doesn't share. He laughs at her. He later reveals it was Brick and he also gets laughed at. > Amy acts as a wingman for Trent and scores him a date at an arcade with Alejandro. Amy and Alejandro spend Trent's money and ignore him the entire time. He leaves and they don't even notice. > Jo and Brick kiss. Win! > Alejandro asks Lightning about his scars. Lightning refuses to answer what caused them and gets huffy, leaving his crush behind, who frankly does not care. > Ripper finally accepts that he has a crush on Wayne. He comes out to Raj first but doesn't tell him it's Wayne.

> Alejandro apologizes for kicking sand at Harold. He offers to do something for Harold. Reluctantly, he accepts, and gets Alejandro to buy him a nurse costume. He planned to wear it when taking blood from people so that he doesn't feel as weird about it. (I have to remind everyone that yes, Harold is a vampire.) Alejandro buys a doctor costume for himself and they both plan on stealing blood from a blood bank together. > Ripper finally breaks and admits to several lies he's told to Raj. Raj, in return, tells him about his fear of birds. He hadn't opened up to anyone about that yet. > Courtney and Jo finally confront Ripper about the miscommunication he had with Brick. Instead of talking it out first, Courtney starts wailing on him. She only stops when she accidentally calls him Duncan. He is left with injuries. ______________________________________________

The Alejandro Bartending Experience!

While Ripper usually ends up doing bar duty as punishment, Alejandro decides to volunteer and receives a matching uniform. > Scott discussed his sexuality. > Wayne discusses what Alejandro told Raj at the beginning, that Wayne would hurt Raj on purpose and that he should step away. Alejandro NEEDS Wayne gone. > Amy talked about a fight she had with Trent in the gift shop regarding the date. She was shoved. They totally hate each other now. And Trent called her "Duncan," just like Courtney did to Ripper. > Jo provides her side of the Ripper beat down. > Raj and Ripper talked about Ripper's crush. They don't say who. > Ripper, Harold, and Alejandro join their alliances together. > Alejandro brings his alliance with Amy and Ripper together. Amy and Alejandro promise to disappear together.

The teams are getting slimmer, and things are heating up! Romance, manipulation, and straight up cruelty. OUCH! Will Harold be able to snatch the blood he needs? Will Trent and Amy resolve their conflict? Will Wayne and Raj survive while Alejandro still peruses the ship? Find out next time on TOTAL! DRAMA! CRUUUIISE CONTROL!

tdcc edits of the characters who matter most (minus wayne) to alejandro

Last Time On Total Drama Cruise Control: You've Got Pipes! Just Kidding!

CHALLENGE 6: - TOKYO, JAPAN The boat is chugging along, cutting through the choppy waves while seagulls fly over. The boat has been on the water for a while, longer than usual. Chris is seen looking out with a pair of binoculars with a concerned look on his face. “Hey Chef...didn't you say we would be in…you know...the location by now? I'm not seeing land….” "I just followed the map you gave me." "But I didn't give you a map..."

"Uh oh." ______________________________________________

“Ok contestants! Today's challenge is a karaoke sing off! We will do this bracket style, Tapir vs Beaver. Once we hit the final 2, we have a special round to determine the winner! Due to the uneven teams, we will only pick 4 for each side, once you pick your 4 performers, pick a song and get on the stage!"

Tapirs: Courtney, Wayne, Trent, Brick Beavers: Ripper, Julia, Alejandro, Harold ------------------------------------

ROUND 1: TRENT VS JULIA WINNER: JULIA ROUND 2: COURTNEY VS HAROLD

WINNER: COURTNEY ROUND 3: WAYNE VS RIPPER

WINNER: RIPPER

ROUND 4: BRICK VS ALEJANDRO

WINNER: BRICK

------------------------------------ ROUND 5: COURTNEY VS JULIAWINNER: JULIA ROUND 6: BRICK VS RIPPERWINNER: BRICK ------------------------------------ IT'S FINAL TIME! THIS ROUND IS A DUET. WINNERS, PICK YOUR PARTNER! Courtney picks Brick! Julia picks Ripper! COURTNEY…RIPPER…SWITCH SIDES! Brick and Ripper VS Julia and Courtney! Instead of submitting Julia and Ripper's song choice, Courtney decides to slip in a children's nursery rhyme instead!

Out of both awkward duets, the Brick and Ripper win the challenge for the TERRIBLE TAPIRS!

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ELIMINATION: It was Julia who was served the Mocktail of Misery and walked the Plank of Shame. Alejandro has effectively convinced the rest of the team to vote out Julia, and she becomes very aware of it as soon as she's voted off. Julia had a few words for Ripper before walking the plank! "I thought I loved you, but you let that bastard of a man vote me out. You choose HIM over me—You knew he controlled the votes, that he wanted you isolated and that he saw me as a threat, and you didn't do anything about it. I can't love you. But... maybe if you ditched that snake of a best friend..."

“….She never loved me, did she?”

______________________________________________ With Julia gone, Ripper struggles between a crush he's had and the fact his first girlfriend didn't even love him. Luckily, Wayne's there to console him in a cat cafe. They later acquire fireworks together, and Wayne has reason to believe Ripper is experiencing hot flashes of some sort. Harold believes he is pregnant. With Amy's help, it turns out he's actually NOT pregnant, and is actually a vampire. Raj offers his arm to him, and it is taken.

Alejandro purchases a camera for Amy, and their bond strengthens. The two watch confessionals on a dingy phone Alejandro acquired. Speaking of Alejandro, guess who has a crush on him this time? It's Lightning! The Sea Tails (Alejandro, Raj, Wayne, Ripper) blow up stuffed animals on the beach using fireworks. Alejandro, however, chose to blow up a Drama Machine Funko Pop that Scott gifted him. He has to leave early. Raj is unwell during the entire experience due to blood loss. Scott has an encounter with Scary Girl on Takeshita street! What is she doing here?! She's not in the game! "That big, scary shark...Do you still think about him sometimes? Aren't you afraid...he'll find you again?" She hands him a stuffed rabbit, which has an extra eye and different body parts of varying colors, seemingly sewn on after the others were torn off. "Now that I have her off my back, I can do some shopping! I'm just so excited! Thank you, Scott. Keep an eye out for any...toothy friends you may find!" After Amy talks about her past with Sammy to Raj, he doesn't wish to talk to her anymore. "I can't be your friend right now. I'm sorry." After acting as the ship's therapist for so long, Raj has a breakdown. Luckily, Wayne is there.

Who will rise? Who will fall? Who's going to have the NEXT breakdown? Who's Harold going to bite next?

Find out next time on TOTAL! DRAMA! CRUUUIISE CONTROL!

Alejandor is going on bar duty tomorrow in tdcc