That time Legolas and Gandalf had a sass battle on the slopes of Caradhras.

Okay, so we all know that iconic scene in Two Towers where Gimli and Legolas compare their kill counts from the battle (THAT STILL ONLY COUNTS AS ONE). But in my not so humble opinion, the book to movie transfer just did not capture some of their best moments in this saga and I am here to rectify this tragedy. 

So naturally, Gimli’s the one who starts it:

Legolas responds dramatically and patronizing, as usual “Two? Sure, not bad. I mean, I’ve got 20, but who’s counting, right?” Oh Legolas

Gimli comes back later with exactly one kill count over Legolas’ previous score and you cannot convince me that that was not out of sheer pettiness. Meanwhile, Legolas has been racking up points fruit ninja style but…he’s only killed like 4 more? Two dozen is 24 right? And he had at least 20 earlier? I really want him to just have thought that there was no way Gimli could’ve caught up to him, then he saw that Gimli was definitely catching up and oh shit better kills some more to stay in the lead and he barely scraps by 21-24, but of course acts a though that was the plan all along. 

After this there’s a break, until Legolas comes looking for Aragorn because he can’t find Gimli to brag about his new high score (39). I love that Aragorn thinks Legolas is looking for Gimli because he’s worried about him and tries to reassure him that Gimli is a strong dwarf and probably find wherever he is, and Legolas is just, woah, what, no, I just wanted to brag. Who cares that they are in the middle of a battle right now. Nope, Legolas is just like gotta find Gimli and tell him I am KICKING HIS ASS. 

honestly these two

AND THE IRONY when he DOES find Gimli, Gimli’s in the lead 42-39. I like that Legolas has killed two more in this time. I can’t help but hope they were ‘Grrrr I can’t find my dwarf where is he’ passive aggressive killings, like two orcs who just happened to get in his way mid-rant. Because of course, we all know that he actually was worried about Gimli in all of this. 

So, Gimli wins. 

BUT THEN

We get THIS GEM

When Treebeard isn’t sure about letting Gimli into Fangorn, Legolas freaking uses Gimli’s high score to brag about his dwarf to impress Treebeard and it works. 

Legolas just proudly proclaiming Gimli’s victory to Treebeard to validate his presence in Fangorn feeds my soul and I love this so much

So there’s my take on the REAL reasons behind their friendly casualty count. God I love these two so much 

I need to talk about this for a second.

This is right after Gandalf says, “A balrog. A demon of the ancient world.”

I just love how PJ chose to cut to Legolas’ face because he is exactly who you should cut to at this moment. You need an elf to show what it really means. Other than Gandalf, the rest of the Fellowship can sense something is gravely wrong, but they don’t understand just how grave. Like Gandalf, Legolas knows the terror. He understands the gravity of what lies around that corner. He’s got a piddly little bow and he is mere steps away from a demon of the ancient world. This frame shows a kid coming to the realisation that he is way out of his depth, that this mission will take him to places he only knew to exist in legends of the Elder Days, a time long gone, barely history. 

He’s probably one of the youngest elves in Middle Earth at this point. He probably grew up on stories of the balrogs, slaying the ancient High Kings of the Eldar and tearing Middle Earth apart, thousands and thousands of years ago. They are legends in old crumbling books, read illicitly by a little elfling who was kept up at night by the terrible tales.They are the monsters under the bed and the shadows in the heart of the forest. They are the beasts behind the winged hordes of hell, that older elves, who’ve seen the worst that Arda has to offer, always assured him were no more than distant nightmares, stories relegated to dust and ancient memory. Except now they are real. They are here. They are coming.

Macbeth:

We all know Fëanor as “the guy obsessed with his Silmarils” but it’s quite something to remember that when he first discovered Morgoth had ransacked his house, he wasn’t even thinking about how the Silmarils were most likely stolen. He immediately searched the debris not for the jewels, but for his dad.

there's a toothpaste brand called theodent that developed a fluoride alternative from cacao and so flavors most of their toothpastes chocolatey as a branding gimmick. granted, they're a niche brand and like $15 a tube, which is prohibitive enough that i haven't tried it even though i've known about it for over a year, but they apparently have studies to back up the ingredients, so it might be worth a shot if the money makes sense for you

The king of Rohan sells toothpaste?

I always felt that Elros was closer to Maglor and Elrond to Maedhros, because Maglor needed a king and Maedhros, a healer.

Most important messages in Lord of the Rings

The people that seem least important can accomplish great tasks

There can be good even in people that seem evil

Hope can carry you through any circumstance

Hard times are ultimately temporary

Potatoes are delicious

Elrond is said to be "as kind as summer", which I absolutely love as a descriptor. I imagine this as resting under a weeping willow by a river bank in the middle of June. Every time you start to feel uncomfortably warm, a gentle breeze sweeps over the cool water and brushes your hair away from your forehead. That feeling of restfulness and comfort, that feeling of the warm sun and gentle breeze that is always there for you, that is the kindness of Elrond Halfelven.

POV:

You're an elf in the army of Thranduil, and he made you trek miles just to make you walk back to the forest.

POV:

You are the Dunedaín king with the shortest lifespan of 60 years.

POV:

You never took lock-picking classes even though your sister and cousin probably did, so the only way you can get your eldest cousin to escape is by chopping off his right hand.

Hey there, I know it's been a bit more than a few days (exams, what can I say?) but here's the link to the promised fic I told you all I'd publish.

Due to personal reasons, I will be publishing a fic on Mairon giving pieces of advice to really anyone when he comes out of his room and socialises, which is a rare occurrence.

I would not advise you to partake in any of his advices unless you have a lawyer with an ∞% success rate -- essentially, God should be your lawyer if you follow up with Mairon's advice.

This fic will be published (hopefully) within a few days on AO3, and I will link it in a reblog of this post.

imagine: you are chilling in front you your house getting high. along comes an old family friend who you last saw when you were six, you are now in your 50s. after a brief convo where he is kind of a dick to you, he’s like damn you’ve changed :/. and your like yeah bestie it’s been five decades why the fuck are you here. he leaves. later that night a shit ton of people show up and trash your house. just throw and absolute rager. halfway through the family friend from earlier shows up. he announces in full earshot of everyone that he wants you to come with him to rob a bank. you of course say wtf??? one of the people who broke into your house calls you a pussy. another person shoves you a contract which declares if you get shot robbing the bank they will not pay for your funeral. you pass out. when you wake up you find the contract on your table and your house almost completely back to normal. you stare at the contract for a moment and decide, fuck it this is just as a good a midlife crisis than anything.

this is what happened to bilbo baggins

Viggo Mortenson does not get enough credit for delivering lines like "not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall" with a complete sincerity and gravitas

POV:

You get more force than needed when negotiating with the Vala who killed your grandfather, but he also got more force than needed, which ended up in you being hung from a cliff by your right hand for 34 years.

i absolutely LOVE how we hyperfixate on the smallest details like the fucking gold ribbons, like love grew between them, like the whole celebrimbanner thing. just. tolkien wrote a tiny little line (that may have only seen the world years after he died) and thousands of people made it the point of their existance. we write fics about it, draw fanart of it, make endless jokes about it. good for us