Hey gang it’s been literal years. Had a lot of food at lunch and wanted to purge but didn’t. Now my roommates are talking about throwing up like “oh I had acid reflux, oh I can’t handle this food” well I had bulimia BUT I CAN’T JUST SAY THAT

Just me vibing in bed scrolling through tumblr waiting to fall asleep and see someone’s post about their cw and thought “hey I haven’t checked mine in a bit. You know what I should do that totally won’t make me hate myself? Ima go weigh myself”

It’s cold outside now. I’m remembering driving to school junior year and the only reason I didn’t have the ac on in the winter was because the windshield fogged up. I missed this feeling, being cold like this.

Why don’t people follow me? I know I only post like once a month or something and I might be on private idk but like y’all

Welcome to the absolutely true diary of a part-time rexie

It’s super unlikely but I’m terrified of being committed because I won’t be able to shave. I just wouldn’t be able to do that

The pain I get from being hungry is just so... comfortable.

For months I’ve been, I guess too lazy to have an ed so I’ve pretty much felt full relatively all the time. Like once or twice I purged and that brought back another pain that I’ve missed. Without the ed, I feel so dull. Like a lump or a sack of rocks or something. But after I purge or when I’m really hungry, when I get that aching back, that’s when I feel like myself. When I’m full, it’s painfully neutral. When I’m hungry, sure I feel empty, but I feel some sort of restored.

Sometimes at work, I’ll be having just a clif bar for breakfast then four hours of no eating and I’ll get hungry. I think I’ve been taking that for granted and not really enjoying the feeling like I should. I’ve kind of lost the self discipline to stay hungry, now I just eat as soon as I can when I feel like that.

I wish I could do something to get that feeling instead of waiting for it to happen. That’s the hardest part of it. It’s not like I can punch my stomach and it kicks in the feelings, I have to avoid food which I’ve come to sort of rely on to pass time.

If anyone has ideas or tips or anything, please let me know. I miss the misery

Reblog if you started worrying about your weight before you were fourteen.

Tumblr just had the AUDACITY to post a gif of a person eating spaghetti like they didn’t expect me to black out at such a sight. Disgraceful.

Lol look at me being such a goofball- the night my parents get back from Costco with snacky items by my request, I decide to hop into a relapse! I’m all buckled in, let’s enjoy the ride