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thisismetryin · 3 years

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i’m sure many of you have seen the recent drama surrounding many people and tori (@/lizzo), and as i have been present in some of the incidents, i feel that i should make my position crystal clear.

though my interactions with her were nowhere near as horrible and traumatising as others’, i happen to be (close) friends with a number of people she has hurt in the past, and will try my very best to explain my experience with her personally and with others (where i was a bystander).

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#ace i'm so sorry she should not have spoken to you like that #signal boost #text

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thisismetryin · 3 years

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during the last couple days there has been some drama about tori (@/lizzo) i was not planing on making the incident public until today, where she took matters into her own hands and decided to post about it.

before we get into my side of the story i encourage you to read aashna, ace and nico’s post about her, to have a better understanding of the situation. as well, as some of you may know tori and i were friends, i trusted her and i appreciated until i realized her true colors.

cw: racism, manipulation, violence and death in some of the following screenshots.

— during february of 2021, along with another mutual we decided to create an mcu server for a marvel show airing at the time, now known as mcutv. the main focus of this network was to create a safe, happy and healthy space for marvel fans, but especially for bipoc fans. tori was brought in as a mod to help with the server, everything was fine, she made a couple of appearances in the server every once in a while, and even if she claims she helped a lot, she did not. the server at the time got up and running because of the other mods, not because of her.

— it wasn’t until april of 2021 where she started to become more active on the server, that me and couple of other mods started noticing a pattern of behavior like making inappropriate jokes and insensitive comment about different topics, even made a comments using aave when we had on the the rules that aave was cultural appropriation and should not be used, specially by a white woman.

— after episode 4 of the falcon and the winter soldier aired, i decided to warn our member about the violence scene at the end of the episode, since a lot of people ( myself included) are not comfortable watching explicit violence without warning.

to which later tori reacted in an awful way, making fun of the minors who were affected, saying this was expected, and then proceed to move to the 18+ channel to talk about this, and nico proceed to explain why it was upsetting to watch for them, as you can see in the following screenshot, how tori reacted to this:

it was my fault as an admin, to not react properly at the time and kick her for this behavior.

— on april 22th a couple hours before tfatws finale, some members and i were having a conversation about representation on the mcu was awful, and how we felt san’s screentime was a lot shorter than his white counterpart. to which then, i said this: ( the word in the spoiler box is racism)

it was also common knowledge to the server, that i was a sambucky shipper and i appreciated both characters. the other members agreed with me, and we started having a conversation about the topic. a couple of minutes tori responded to my message Tori “imagine not liking sambucky 🙄” , as you can see in the screenshot the message is now deleted, but this was my response:

to which a couple of moments later she dmed me, with the following message:

as you can see, i apologized for attacking her, even if i never did, and this conversation put me in a very uncomfortable position where i felt the need to apologize to her. i am not going to post the whole conversation out of respect, but this conversation was extremely uncomfortable for me, because she acted like i was a villain just for expressing my discomfort.

while tori was on my dms, several other members and staff was handling her, and explaining her why her behavior was wrong, here are a couple of screenshots from the conversation:

— after this entire conversation, the admins and i decided to remove her from staff, to which she did not responded well, she said we were “punishing her” and this was just not okay, that she never intended to be racist, and overall we were making a mistake. the following screenshots are some of the highlights of the conversation:

— the following days were a literal nightmare, we decided to let her stay in the server, hoping that she would understand her behavior and took some time to understand. as you can see she did not, she then proceed to harass the other two bipoc minors who were staff, saying they were no longer friends and overall being rude and breaking their boundaries. a few days later she left the serve because no one was interacting with her ( her own words ) and she was very uncomfortable, in a server than called her out for being racist.

— after this, i blocked tori from tumblr,discord, & the personal socials we exchanged. she was out of my life for the best, and i want it to stay that way. a few days ago someone sent me the post where she was vague posting about me saying i bullied her from tumblr and i was using her from clout, to which i responded in another post, i admit i was angry and i did not think before making the post.

— i am making this post for two reasons, she is coming after my friends ( bipoc & minors) saying we are sending her awful stuff over anonymous asks laiming we were the ones who did her wrong and are now ruining her life, and i can assure you none of us are doing that, and the other reason is because she made me uncomfortable on my own server, and tried to manipulate into apologizing to her.

— i want to advice everyone who reads this, to please block her, she did awful stuff to several people, most of them who were minors, bipoc and bipoc minors, and no one deserves that.

thank you so much for reading, sending everyone love !

#signal boost #reblogging in solidarity #tw death #tw racism #i'm so sorry marcy #text

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thisismetryin · 3 years

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i’ve been holding this in for a very long time but i finally feel that i can share my experiences with tori, @lizzo. though this is just one interaction that i had with her that sent me over the edge, tori (a 24 year old white woman) has a history of harassing both people of color and minors (or people who are both, like me). when confronted about her disgusting actions, she acts like a typical white woman: being angry and defensive at first and then making herself out to be the victim time and time again.

solely for context purposes, this post also brings up alana, @seegoldendaylight, a 34 year old woman who runs a sideblog for the film call be my your name, a film with blatant and graphic pedophilia. when i confronted her about this (completely civilly), she also made herself the victim and claimed that she was being bullied by someone who was half her age at the time. i don’t have the screenshots for the conversation as of right now, but when i did discuss this with her, i remained civil throughout; until she began accusing me of baseless bullying.

the incident covered in the screenshots below happened on november 2, 2020 (a day before the elections in the usa).

it’s important to note that this is not an isolated incident. i know for a fact that tori has harassed other minors and people of color in the time between november 2 and today, but it is not my place to share what she has done to them unless and until they feel safe doing so.

the post continues under the cut because it got quite long. please share this and block tori to reduce this racist woman’s platform on this website.

at the time this occurred, i was 16 and tori was 23. trigger warnings for racism, lgbtqphobia, and pedophilia mentions.

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#tw pedophilia #tw racism #reblogging in solidarity #signal boost

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thisismetryin · 3 years

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Because of the accusations against me I would like to clear the air and give my side of the story. I don’t expect anyone to listen or to care, but this reflects heavily on Aashna and others in her group of friends. While they are all minors, or were at a certain time, their ability to attack those of older ages than them is extreme. They use the anon feature like it is going out of style. Alana and I both received DEATH THREATS from these children. They made us scared. They messed with our emotions. For months, Aashna pretended to be our friend and looked up to us. She asked us for advice about edits and always ask us for resources. Secretly, she was convening behind our backs, talking about how weird we were for being on the platform. She sent anonymous messages to both of our blogs, then went to multiple people on tumblr and sent them messages telling them not to interact with Alana because she enjoyed Call Me By Your Name … a film that MANY people enjoyed not just her. Many people on this site no less.

I stood up for my friend because no one else would. Everyone always tiptoes around minors like that means they are free from criticism. Whenever I was a minor on this site, I got called out for my shit too. If you are under 18 you should know how to not send anon hate, talk shit about people in private groups, and should be able to be at least kind. I never meant to hurt any minors or harass them, and au think a lot of this alleged harrassment comes from me simply calling them out for the hurtful things they have done. If you hurt someone, you deserve to have someone be abrasive with you and tell you what you did. I have always thought this.

Now moving onto claims of racism and me being a racist. I am not a racist. I have, however, done racist things. These two things are not mutually exclusive. Being POC has no wage on your worth in my eyes and quite honestly whenever I am friends with people online I am not thinking in my head about them being a POC. My brain does not work like that and I am not overly cautious of where people are from. In a Wandavision server, I spoke out of turn and took away from the message of a bipoc at the time. I never meant to harm this person as they were my friend. Instead of immediately backing away, I did what I always do, defend until I can’t or until I calm down enough to see I was wrong. Part of me being white? Definitely. Also part of me never being in a space where race is such a hugely spoken about topic. Obviously I have to learn to navigate spaces where bipoc are. These people took the time to educate me, but I never forced them to. I was told AFTER THE FACT that this was triggering for them. It was difficult for me to understand how wanting to learn how I could do better straight from the people who were harmed was a racist act in itself, but it isn’t my place to determine that.

I have admitted what I did was wrong privately and now publicly. I apologized profusely to these people sending everyone a message personally. I was told that it was all white guilt and that my apologies meant very little. After this, I never spoke to these people again.

Now, flash forward to me returning to my blog. I was here for a single day then was sent anonymous messages telling me I’m a freak, a racist, a white bitch, that I should die, that I should never come back. I never once have tried to play “victim” in these circumstances, but I am literally now being attacked and harassed by people who are barely even involved or know me as a person. I strive to be a kind, caring human being. I have never done anything with malice in mind. I am always as honest as possible and in fact find it difficult not to be because of my mental health. This has completely deteriorated me and terrified me. No one has asked me for my side of the story and are immediately seeing the first thing they see. The fact of the matter is that even at the age of 14 or 15 or 16 you can ruin someone and you can be rude and cruel to them. I have always stood up for my friends and have always called out anyone of any age to tell them that this behavior is wrong.

I am not asking anyone to forgive me, but I am asking you not to believe every word you see immediately. I work hard, do my best with what I have. You do not know me as a person, you don’t even know my background or where I came from or what I have been through.

#reblogging in solidarity #cat replies #tori if you're reading this #i don't think you're a bad person #i just cannot condone your behaviors #we are being abrasive with you to tell you what you did #you seem utterly incapable of respecting boundaries esp with minors #i'm sorry it's come to this but yeah just block the anons and move on with your life #honestly i wouldn't be surprised if loren was the one sending you shitty anons #i mean i've seen the screenshots she could do worse #also why do you have a deep seated hatred against a fifteen year old?#anyway...#for what it's worth #tori you weren't removed from the server bc of wvnet #you were removed bc there have been several incidences #and for everyone's comfort and safety we've made this decision #stop blaming everything on other people #and also please don't take this as me telling you to hurt yourself #please take care of yourself in the meantime #i hope you can grow from this #text

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thisismetryin · 3 years

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net13's secret santa event: fearless edition

dear, @thisismetryin i wish you a merry christmas and happy holidays!!

#fearless album #thank you so much!!!#friends tag #i love it omg

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thisismetryin · 3 years

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you were never mine, but do you remember?

secret santa for @folkloreeeee ♥ merry christmas and happy holidays simal my love!

#tswiftedit #tscreators #candy swift #networkthirteen #tuserarden #userleanne #tuserarchi #i hope you like this!#i know how much you love august #and you mentioned it might be your stan song #i really like this concept and i hope you do too!#also i'm so glad we got each other 🥺#merry christmas simal i adore you sm #mygifs #mystuff

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thisismetryin · 3 years

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I LOVE THIS SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA IT’S SO PRETTY!!!

the bitch pack’s secret Santa :

merry Christmas Cat ❤️ @frozen2s

#friends tag #you are so talented i'm in awe #and i love the vibes sm #thank you thank you thank you #thank you a million times #🥺🥺🥺

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thisismetryin · 3 years

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@networkthirteen’s secret santa for @thenighttrain merry christmas, leanne ♥

#userleanne #tswiftedit #tscreators #candy swift #networkthirteen #femaledaily #popularcultures #useraashna #ofdeepfears #hermionegrangcr #tuserarchi #yep i am your santa you guessed right on my third ask osadlkfj #i hope you like this!#ilysm i'm sorry i kept forgetting to send asks #merry crisis my fellow fearteeneightylorian!#mygifs #mystuff

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thisismetryin · 3 years

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HAPPINESS (1979) dir. Aaron Sorkin

#evermore album #lyrics #i love this so much

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thisismetryin · 3 years

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mxamericana → loverdlx

courtesy of the lovely @sadbeautiful THANK YOU SO MUCH RENS AHHH I CRY and yes i am aware this album is now OLDDDD

also i am now tracking #tusermadi! in case i change my url again hehe ♡ would love some reblogs to help spread the word !! 😚✌🏼

#friends tag #text #YES GO MADISON

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thisismetryin · 3 years

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“Yeah, I had this idea that the first verse would be about someone who is in sort of a life crisis…and kind of has driven to this overlook, this cliff, and is just in the car going, ‘I could, like…I could do whatever I want in this moment, and it could affect everything forever.’ But this person backs up and drives home.“

#madison why must you hurt me so #folklore album #long pond #jack and taylor #thanks for tagging me!#q

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thisismetryin · 3 years

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