Don't Be a Negative Nellie!

We all make mistakes (just look at the Monday Night Buffalo Bills game against the Jets… ugh, ugh and UGH). I mean, we make mistakes every day and at any time. And when we make these mistakes, we can be awfully hard on ourselves, right? I mean, how many times have you said to yourself (mentally or out loud)… “You’re such an idiot” or, “Can’t believe you did that.” Too many times to count.

With that kind of self-talk who needs negative nellies or critics. We can bully ourselves just fine. And while many of us just pass off the mistake (and our reaction) as a fleeting moment of stupidity, negative talk like that does linger. It affects:

Our mood. Everything now seems harder to do.

Our actions. How we react to the mistake.

Our self-image. Maybe we are actually stupid?

But that’s all happening internally. What happens externally when you talk bad to yourself out loud.

Coworkers may begin to see you as less sure of yourself. Question your leadership. Friends might avoid you more as you dampen a mood. And your kids… well, they may just begin to adopt that negative talk, too. They are — after all — little sponges that soak up all we say and do.

So, how can you take down your inner critic?

Change the intensity of your language. Instead of saying “stupid” use “challenging.”

Don’t exaggerate your mistakes. It’s just one Moment… not the end of the world.

Give your internal bully a nickname. Separate those thoughts from the real you.

Think like a friend. Would your best friend talk to you that way? No? Then don’t talk to yourself that way.

There’s an old saying, “you are what you eat.” Well… you are what you think. So go easy on yourself. Talk positive and turn that inner critic into your own personal champion of positivity.

Dress Like it Matters

Street Clothes Week… it’s a student favorite at The Martial Arts Studio. Why? Because students don’t have to change into a uniform (a.k.a. Gi) before coming to class. They can train just as they are. And one less step is easier. Everyone likes easier.

But what’s the purpose behind Street Clothes Week? Well, chances are you’re not going to get in a fight while leaving martial arts class. Nope. Most likely something would happen while you’re out and about in regular clothes. So, you have to know what it feels like to throw that Front Kick in jeans. Or, how having a jacket on may affect your ability to get out of an arm grab. Makes sense, right.

But now, you’re probably asking yourself… OK if we’re not going to be wearing a martial arts uniform when being attacked, why wear one for training at all? Good question. And the answer probably isn’t what you think (like… because it’s traditional). We wear uniforms because it puts you in the right MINDSET for what’s about to happen… training. 

See, what we wear sends a message… to ourselves and to others. Wearing bunny slippers and a “Kiss Me I’m Irish” T-shirt to work tells your boss that (1) you’re not going to take the day’s responsibilities seriously, and (2) you (hopefully) don’t have any in-person meetings that day. And, to your brain that outfit says, “I don’t really want to be here and am only going to do what I have to in order to make it through the day.”

How you dress sets the tone for not only how you think, but what you do. Dressing with a purpose gives you purpose.

So, that's why we train in uniforms. Not because they look cool ('cause they do), but putting on a uniform get you in the right head space for what's about to happen. Mindset matters.

More Woo Hoo... Less Boo Hoo

Your pulse races and your palms get sweaty...

Uh, oh. A new obstacle has reared its head. It could be anything from change of bosses at work to having to learn a new kata in the dojo. Think about the last time something unexpected popped up in your life. What was your reaction?

If you thought " Ugh" or "Why me?" then you had a threat reaction. Now, if you thought of this unexpected change as a great opportunity to grow -- or show your worth -- then you had a challenge reaction. Most of us immediately go to a threat reaction. Ugh, right. But why? Why does our brain most often perceive an obstacle as a threat?

See, our brains are still working on old "software." A mindset from when we were living in wilder times and had to prepare for the worst (animal attacks, serious weather conditions, etc. ). This threat reaction signaled your brain to divert as much blood as possible to the rest of your body and release cortisol (energy bursts) in case a frenzied response was needed.

Now today, our perceived threats are pop quizzes and deadlines. And, we cannot be "dumbed down" for these events by our brain sending away all the blood we need to keep our minds sharp. So, why does it continue to do this? Science says it's because anxiety and negativity are ADDICTIVE. Those emotions cause these powerful bursts of energy in our brain and body and we're left wanting more. 

So what do we do? How do we change this bad brain behavior? There are a few ways you turn your cranium away from the dark side.

#1... Ask yourself these questions:

Is this situation physically going to harm me?

Are there benefits to this situtation? Could the outcome help me?

Am I capable of handling this?

Make your brain stop and think. Just don't react!

#2... Hijack your physical response to the situation.

When your pulse quickens and breathing hitches, remember that adrenaline is a gift and a tool. Take a couple deep breaths and divert that energy to where you need it. Whether that's to your brain for the big final or your legs for the Cross Country gold medal round. Studies show that athletes who view competition as a challenge (not a threat) show an increase of blood flow to the brain and body and WIN more often. Plus, they're happier with their performance... win or lose.

So, the next time you find yourself in an unexpected situation hack your brain and take control of your response. Accept the challenge and come out a winner!

High Expectations

Selbstandigkeit!

For those who don't speak German, it roughly translates to self-reliance. It's not uncommon to see young kids in Germany preparing their own meals... using public transportation... and walking themselves to school. In Scandinavia, 5 and 6-year olds attend forest school where they learn to whittle and carve with knives as well as start cooking forest. We understand that this might sound daunting -- even terrifying to think of your kids doing that -- but at Makoto we believe ability comes down to expectations. 

Do you think a four-year old can help bring in groceries... pull weeds,,, or make the bed? Could a 6-year old vacuum? Or a 10-year old make their own dinner? Developmental experts say the answer is "yes" to all of those things. Most American parents, unfortunately, don't expect their kids to do such things as preparing meals. But why?

Parents might say... "Well, they might hurt themselves," or the all too common "It's just easier (and quicker) to do it myself." At Makoto -- and the Martial Arts Studio -- we have a saying... "If you can do it, we expect you to do it." You see, kids love to please us and show us (as well as themselves) that they are capable of doing many, MANY things. So if we expect them to make the bed, they will. But we have to expect it. We have to give them the opportunity to rise to the occasion.

Now, giving them that occasion may be hard. It can be a struggle for us parents to completely stay out of it and let them do the chore/responsibility all themselves. (After all, we realize that in the beginning we will most likely have to re-wash the dishes that they do). But the end result -- the increase in their confidence, capability, and self-worth -- will totally be worth it. 

At Makoto, and The Martial Arts Studio, we always have high expectations for your kids. Because we know that they can do many, many things. And, with work and guidance, rise to every occasion and flourish. Your son or daughter is more capable than you think. 

Self Defense Classes VS. Martial Arts Training

You're searching for a way to ensure your own safety and that of your loved ones. You want to learn how to defend yourself, but you don't know where to start. Do you take self-defense classes or train in the martial arts? Good question. It can be difficult to determine the differences between these two disciplines, as they share many common traits. ​

​So, let’s take a moment and...

Define the differences between self-defense and martial arts.

 Explore what makes them similar and how those commonalities allow us to benefit from both types of training.

Discuss what training is best for you.

One of the BIG similarities between self-defense and martial arts training is they build self-confidence. In Self-defense, learning how to (1) identify potential attackers, (2) be aware of your surroundings/possible dangerous situations (3) employ de-escalation techniques and (4) use basic physical techniques to defend yourself, will not only build confidence but also help instill a sense of personal safety that will serve you for the rest of your life. With the Martial Arts, having (1) an arsenal of techniques, (2) developed danger instincts, and (3) combat training, will help you to trust yourself to make quick, effective decisions in any situation. Fear will not rule you. —--------------------------------------------------- ​ Which type of training is better for me? Well, that honestly depends on what you want/need. If you’re simply looking to keep yourself safe while walking home from class, or protect your family while on vacation, then taking a basic Self-defense class (seminar) may be all that you need. But if you’re looking to take protecting yourself to a deeper/more effective level, then martial arts may be the best choice. Studying the martial arts will help you to:

By the end of this article, you should have a good understanding of both disciplines and be able to decide what type of training is best suited for you and your family.. Let's get started! —--------------------------------------------------- What are the differences between self-defense and martial arts? When it comes to self-defense and martial arts, understanding the differences between the two is key to finding what works best for you. While the two terms are often interchanged, they represent two very distinct concepts. Self-Defense Training At a basic level, self-defense training focuses on avoiding helping you to avoid danger and defending yourself without the use of force... at first. Self-defense training includes techniques such as (1) situational awareness.. (2) de-escalation tactics... and (3) physical countermeasures like blocking and evasive maneuvers. It is more about DEFENSE. Using your body in strategic ways to fend off an attacker when force is necessary. Martial Arts Training Martial arts training, on the other hand, is geared more towards the fight. Like learning specific techniques for combat... often for sport or competition. It also involves greater physical conditioning as well as muscle memory drills to help practitioners execute their techniques with precision and speed. Overall, martial arts training seeks out physical contact and is more geared towards developing a person’s physical prowess in order to beat an opponent. It's important to note that while there are differences between self-defense and martial arts training, both styles focus mainly on personal safety. The primary difference lies in their goals... self-defense training focuses more on avoiding the fight while martial arts training focuses on what to do when fighting. ​ —--------------------------------------------------- So how is self-defense and martial arts training similar? You might be asking yourself, how does martial arts relate to self-defense? While there are obvious physical similarities. Both require you to learn...

● Basics of kicking and punching. ● How to recognize (be aware) and assess a threat. ● Target parts of the body. ● Confident mindset

One of the BIG similarities between self-defense and martial arts training is they build self-confidence. In Self-defense, learning how to (1) identify potential attackers, (2) be aware of your surroundings/possible dangerous situations (3) employ de-escalation techniques and (4) use basic physical techniques to defend yourself, will not only build confidence but also help instill a sense of personal safety that will serve you for the rest of your life. With the Martial Arts, having (1) an arsenal of techniques, (2) developed danger instincts, and (3) combat training, will help you to trust yourself to make quick, effective decisions in any situation. Fear will not rule you. —--------------------------------------------------- ​ Which type of training is better for me? Well, that honestly depends on what you want/need. If you’re simply looking to keep yourself safe while walking home from class, or protect your family while on vacation, then taking a basic Self-defense class (seminar) may be all that you need. But if you’re looking to take protecting yourself to a deeper/more effective level, then martial arts may be the best choice. Studying the martial arts will help you to:

Develop more techniques. In martial arts, the focus is often more on technique than pure strength. Learning techniques such as leverage and body position can give you an edge in self-defense.

Move better. Martial artists practice evasive movement techniques – like dodging and weaving – to stay out of their opponent's reach or strike from a better angle. You can use these same skills in self-defense for quick escapes or even counterattacks.

Develop timing. Timing – knowing when to dodge, block or strike your enemy – is important in martial arts. If you can get the timing right, it can help you use minimal energy while defending yourself more effectively.

Understand energy. There's more than just physical energy at work in martial arts. By understanding and harnessing your mental energy – namely focus, determination and fearlessness – you too, will become a force to be reckoned with in any self-defense situation.

At the end of the day, your self-defense skills will improve dramatically if you combine them with one or more martial arts disciplines. SPECIAL NOTE on Self-Defense vs. Martial Arts Training for Women While martial arts training is for everyone, 85% of the people who seek out training are men. Why? Women tend to avoid conflict... especially physical combat. And martial arts training does include sparring, fighting and close proximity. So, self-defense classes are a good option for women who aren’t comfortable with the up-close physical contact and fighting techniques of the martial arts. They will empower you. Get you in that confident (and positive mindset). And in time could lead to wanting more... like the greater self-defense skill set learned with martial arts training. —--------------------------------------------------- In Conclusion... Both self-defense classes and martial arts training will give you the skill set and confidence you need to defend yourself and your family. When it comes to choosing which path to take, well it simply comes down to choice (and maybe, time). There is no wrong answer... other than not training at all.

Top 5 Reasons Why Change is Good!

As a person who FIGHTS against change at every turn, I wondered if I should be the one writing this little ditty. But truth be told, I’m probably the best person for this job. Because I -- like the majority of humans  -- fight change… all the time. Yup. Completely resist it tooth and nail. But change is inevitable (no matter what we tell ourselves). Eventually we all have to give in to it. And if I look back at where I was before changing -- and where I end up after changing -- I must grudgingly agree that change is beneficial. Because…  ​

#1… Change pushes you out of your comfort zone. Life in the comfort zone is easy. You get your morning Starbucks. Head off to work. Do your job. Come home. Make and eat dinner. And life is comfortable. Simple with no surprises. When change comes it pushes you out of that predictable routine. Challenges your assumptions. Tests your skills. And even makes you question your belief system. By forcing you to re-evaluate not only what you do but how you do it, change pushes you to grow mentally, spiritually, and even physically. Building  a stronger you.

#2… Change forces you to experience MORE. Like new opportunities… perspectives… and relationships. Things you haven’t seen or experienced before. Honestly, look back at your life. How many completely awesome things happened because you stepped outside of your box and did (or viewed) something differently. Would you have met your spouse? Climbed that mountain? Even taken that career path? Each one of those different experiences has taught you something new about yourself. Something that you could never learn in school or on the job. And all those new things have made you a better you.

#3… Change challenges you to find out who you really are. Life can throw you a curveball. It can be fast, slow or right to the head. And when that curveball hits, you realize you’re going to have to change the way you think. Update that mindset. This is when you find out exactly what you can handle… and what you can’t. You learn your limitations and the strength of your will. This helps you to find out exactly what you’re made of. What you can take and keep on pushing forward. I think Rock Balboa said it best (shout out to my fellow Philadelphians), “You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about ​how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

#4… Change makes you more flexible and adaptable. Yup. Change can make you feel like a rubber band. Stretched every which way to the point of breaking. But when you’re there -- at your limits -- you realize exactly how much you can adapt… pivot. And that gives you confidence. The armor needed to thrive in new, unexpected situations. Because you know you can take the punches and keep on rolling. Even flourishing under the new rules.   #5… Change helps you have more fun. Being open to change means that you’re more likely to say “Yes” when a new experience or opportunity comes your way. More doors will open. More friends will be met. And more adventures taken. Oh, just imagine the fun places you’ll go… all because you decided to embrace change. 

Yes, I know. It all sounds good. But easier said (or read) then done, right. Just remember, not all change has to be extreme. Take some baby steps. Because just one small thing -- one small change -- can make all the difference.   

Martial arts is more than just kicks and punches...

“Character is what we do when we think no one is looking."  

-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

When you think about the martial arts (ok... karate), you think about kicking and punching, right? Well true, it IS about learning how to fight and defend yourself. But as a whole, the martial arts is much, much MORE. It’s about self discipline... courage... strength of body and character... and striving to be the best version of yourself possible. The martial arts are a mindset.

At Makoto, it's important that our students realize this. Especially our younger students. So, one of our favorite questions to ask them is this:

“You're on vacation and playing on the beach. Are you still a martial artist/Black Belt?”

This question is first met with some confusion and then a variety of responses such as, "No, 'cause I'm not in the dojo training." Or, "I'm not sure what you mean? I don't wear my belt to the beach."

So, we attempt to clarify things a bit with a follow up question. "OK... even if you are not wearing your uniform or your belt, are you still martial artist/Black Belt? Are you a martial artist/Black Belt in places other than the dojo?" It is with this question that the light bulb seems to go on.

They realize that we're not asking them about just the belt... we're asking them about their mindset. Are they a martial artisit/Black Belt in the truest sense? Do they follow the values of a martial artisit/Black Belt in all aspects of their life? At school? At work? While jumping the waves on the beach?  

Getting our students to understand that earning belts and training is not just about their physical state, but their character values too, is a top priority. This is why having a Character Stripe System as part of our training is suuuuper important to us.

What is a Character Stripe system? It's the Makoto Way of making sure that what our students are learning in the dojo translates to the outside world. In a nutshell, the Character Stripe system works like this... a student must show they have CONSISTENTLY done a specific value (for example... "no complaining") in order to earn a stripe for their belt. Without this stripe, they cannot graduate to the next belt level. And who determines when a student has earned their Character Stripe? Why, their parents and teachers. Those who see them acting in an outstanding manner in the real world.

So, what are some of the core values our students have to show in order to earn their Character Stripe? Here are a few examples...

Ask your parents EVERY DAY, "How was your day, Mom/Dad?"

Take responsibility. Don't blame others.

Try/do new things.

Take control of your time.

All are values of a strong, polite, and compassionate person. Just what we want as our neighbor, friend, and schoolmate.

You see, understanding that what you do in the dojo should also happen OUTSIDE the dojo is probably one of the most important lessons an instructor can teach. It is -- we feel -- one of the most important things that we can teach. Showing our students that being a martial artist means that you should endeavor to: (1) always do the right thing... (2) put forth 100% effort every day... (3) treat all others with equal respect... and most importantly, (4) have outstanding character whether you are on the dojo floor or at the beach. This is the Makoto Way.

The sweetest thing are those you learn from and EARN. Never, never ever give up. #makotoway #makoto #earnedit #earn #blackbelt #blackbelts #winningmindset #bestrong #karate #martialarts #atthetop #ididit #nevergiveup #growthmindset #positivity #thepowerofpositivity

Just read a great article in the Wall Street Journal, "America Needs More Gentlemen." In today's society, anyone can post, publish, or blog their every opinion without having to see or feel the consequenes. It's time to remind ourselves (and especially our youth) that being able to communicate respectfully... value others... and listen with mindfulness -- ALL the old values and Samurai Ways -- continue to be important in crafting character. #wisdomwednesday #themakotoway #bushido #bushidocode #samurai #beingagentleman #gentlemen #healthyhumpday #manners #values #@therock #wallstreetjournal

Oh how the mighty can fall. #daitoryu #makotoway #aikido #aikijujutsu #judo #howthemightyhavefallen #fallout #throw #flipout

Body motion. Body movement. Learn it. Understand it. And feel your way through that Daito Ryu throw. #daitoryu #daito #aikijujutsu #judo #bjj #flipout #martialarts #makotoway #karate #aikido

Why be good when you can be great. #makotoway #stickynotes #begreat #fearaverage #postit #goodtogreat #progress

A dancing unicorn made her way to #parentsnightout ! #makotoway

Months of practice + Countless push ups = Success at handstand pushups. No shortcuts. Work for it. #makotoway #strengthtraining #strength #pushups

Months of practice + Countless push ups = Success at Handstand Pushups. No shortcuts. Work for it. #makotoway #pushups #strength #strengthtraining

Months of practice + countless push ups = her first handstand pushup. "It's hard to beat a person who never gives up." -- Babe Ruth. #makotoway #pushups #strengthtraining #strength