theravenmuse
Just Things This Raven Finds Amusing
Disaster Asexual • Neurospicy Harbinger of ChaosProlific Writer & Occasional Artist.-Find my AO3, Patreon, and other socials in the pinned post
5801 posts
Last active 3 hours ago
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
babysawar
y a g m u r
pickeringlucy
Lucy Pickering
jas856
題名未設定
surfertom-blog1
Untitled
hykayatwamthal13
hykayatwamthal
Note
[Neil, don’t read this one!!]
*snaps on rubber gloves*
Okay, fuckers, who wants to see Crowley going down on the Cat King?!
What would happen if Aziracrow and the dead boy detectives met up?
At a guess, you would be reading fan fiction.
#this is a joke#but if enough people want me to#I’ll absolutely write it#sincerely the Bentley/Bookshop writer#good omens#crowley#dead boy detectives#the cat king
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Are you into the Good Omens fandom?
If you are:
I'm asking you this because I'm curious about knowing what's the main age of the people from this fandom
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m on the edge of wanting it to happen and praying Neil has never thought of that
406 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know you're fucking up when the gal that's supposed to be THE demon, THE temptress, THE Serpen of Eden, is looking at you like this after you tell them what your God is doing
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Isn't this one of the sweetest scenes in the whole show?
Yes! I've got it! I took the book you wanted! *shoves book into Aziraphale's discorporated face* have I been good, Angel? Did I do well? Did I do you proud?
Oh, sweet, sweet Crowley.
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
The Price of Love - Chapter 6/6
CW: Explicit sex, Extremely Dubious Consent Bordering on Non-Con, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Physically Abusive Gabriel with Crowley, Romantic and Sexual Manipulation, Catholic themes Regarding Sexual Purity
Summary: Crowley is a succubus who yearns to find real love rather than the shallow acts of sex he was made for, so when a priest pretends to offer him what he's always desired, Crowley is quick to fall for his tricks. Luckily for Crowley, Gabriel's deacon sees the truth in their relationship and comes to the rescue just in time.
The ending has come at last!!!
Read chapter 6 on AO3
Or start from chapter 1\
@goodomensafterdark
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
The A.D. omfg! This is perfect!
Okay, buckle up buckaroos, because today I met an honest-to-goodness cryptid.
I was out running errands and I made a stop at Intimate Books (…for a friend), and on my way out I realized that the bookshop next door was open.
This bookshop has existed for more than a hundred years, and in all my life it has NEVER BEEN OPEN. I mean, I assume it has to be open sometimes, but never at any normal, reasonable hour. Everyone says it’s a front for the mob or something.
So what do you do when the weird mafia bookshop is open? You go the fuck inside.
The first thing I noticed was the smell. You know that smell when you accidentally leave your towel on the bathroom floor all day and you come back to that mildew funk? The shop smelled like that times a thousand. I expected to see stuff growing on the walls, but the books were pristine. We’re talking first editions, rare editions, weird Bibles and books inscribed to really famous dead people. Librarians would weep for the chance to accession this place. In the first two minutes I found a signed copy of The Crucible and what I think was a first edition of Blake’s Book of Thel.
Then a clerk showed up out of nowhere—honestly nowhere. He looked EXACTLY like a bookseller should look, kind of fluffy and bewildered and really, really gay.
“Are you lost?” was the first thing he said to me.
“Nope. Just browsing, thanks.”
“Browsing, I see. Erm. How do you feel about snakes?” he asked. And without waiting for me to answer, he just walked away and vanished around a shelf.
I figured it was a metaphor, or a code phrase for the mafia. Until I turned a corner like ten minutes later and found a little reading nook. It was really pretty, although I feel like that particular window should have been on an interior wall? Anyway, curled up in an armchair in a patch of sunlight was the biggest fuck-off black snake I have ever seen.
Like, I don’t mind snakes in general. But in their normal context, right? Outside. On the ground. Not six feet long and sitting on a threadbare velvet armchair like it owns the place.
I was about to turn around and leave, but I saw a gorgeous first-edition copy of Leaves of Grass on a shelf, a little too close to the snake for comfort. But I had never needed anything so badly in my life.
So I went back to the counter to buy it, but the clerk was nowhere to be found.
While I was waiting, I noticed a collection of pictures hanging on the wall behind the counter, dating back to the very dawn of photography. A couple were of this rock-star looking guy from the 70s that I should probably have recognized, but there were authors and landscapes and stuff, too. There was even an old tintype portrait of Oscar freaking Wilde, sitting in this very shop with a guy that I would ACTUALLY SWEAR was the clerk from before. Like, I know my family all has the same nose, but this guy had the same everything.
After approximately one year of waiting, the clerk came back out to the desk. By now I’ve realized that he’s too bad at his job to be anything but the owner of the shop.
“I saw your snake,” I told him.
“Did you? Was he behaving himself?”
“He was sleeping.”
“Yes, he enjoys that.”
“Does he just stay out in the open like that? What if he gets out?”
He shrugged and smiled. “He always comes home again, the dear boy.”
Right, a homing snake. That’s totally normal.
Then he cleared his throat and asked, in a weirdly reluctant voice, if I was going to buy the Whitman.
“Yes, please,” I told him. “I saw it on a shelf by the snake, and it was just too tempting.”
He sighed. “Oh, yes, I expect it was.”
When I started to hand him my card, he went all fluttery and said that they didn’t take cards.
All right, fine. I had some cash on me, but I told him that he’d sell a lot more books if he got a Square or something.
He got this scandalized look on his face and went, “Why would I want to do that?”
Oookay. I handed over the cash and he popped open the ancient till and started making change.
In shillings. Shillings! I swear to god I saw Queen Anne’s face on one of them. The silver value of the coins was probably as much as I paid for the book.
But I had to have proof that this happened—at that point, all I had was a book in a plain brown wrapper, not appreciably different from what I bought next door. So I asked him for a receipt.
He looked delighted and wrote one up for me.
By hand.
With a fountain pen.
And that’s the story of how I met a bookseller cryptid and his pet snake.
55K notes
·
View notes
Text
with the way this show progressed, we'd have seen Ed's bare ass as the first scene of s3
486 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Right,
8+7=15,
carry the 1
4, 5, and then 6, 7
Fuck, what was the first number again? 15
So 5, fuck, what was the second number now?
7. It’s 75.
171K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi, poly ace girl here looking for three to five girls to cuddle at night. We can laugh at porn together. 😆
There needs to be a dating site solely for the Good Omens fandom.
95 notes
·
View notes
Text
Introducing my TBF shelf!
This sucker is six 12”cubes and they are stuffed full! That’s right, there’s another entire row of TBR books hidden behind the ones you can see! Send help!!!
ok im really curious do you guys have books you consider your "white whale"? as in books you keep telling yourself oh yeah i really want to read that, but you keep not reading it?
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
Today’s fun:
Driving around the city In (almost) full Crowley attire (because why not?), listening to my Ineffable playlist and someone shouts out to me:
He still loves you!!!
My day is complete.
571 notes
·
View notes
Note
It’s literally in the card.
Time didn’t count yet, except sometimes it seems like it should have done so Crowley gives it a guess that he’d been talking to Aziraphale for the rough equivalent of a millions of years long period of time.
I'm confused about the GO timeline. When Crowley and Aziraphale first meet, we learn that They will be "shutting all this down again in about 6,000 years.". But Crowley tells Nina and Maggie that he and Aziraphale have been talking for millions of years. How is that possible?
Because there was lots of Good Omens angel time before Earth Time started.
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
True crime podcast but you realize as you're listening that the host is just describing episodes of Scooby-Doo
59K notes
·
View notes
Text
Just so we’re clear
Book Aziraphale is my favourite Aziraphale
Occasionally, serious men in dark suits would come calling and suggest, very politely, that perhaps he’d like to sell the shop itself so that it could be turned into the kind of retail outlet more suited to the area. Someone they’d offer cash, in large rolls of grubby fifty-pound notes. Or, sometimes, while they were talking, other men in dark glasses would wander around the shop shaking their heads and saying how inflammable paper was, and what a fire trap he had here.
And Aziraphale would nod and smile and say that he’d think about it. And then they’d go away. And they’d never come back.
Radio Crowley is my favourite Crowley
Voiced by the lovely Peter Serafinowicz
[Ducks quacking]
Aziraphale: But giving the child to an American diplomat? Is Armageddon some kind of cinema epic that you wish to sell in as many countries as possible?
Crowley: Every country. The Earth and all the kingdoms thereof. I'm actually quite sorry about it.
Aziraphale, sighing: You've become attached to them. People.
Crowley: Oh, I do my best to make their short lives miserable, that's my job. But nothing I can think up is half as bad as the stuff they think up themselves. Often involving electrodes. They've got what we lack: imagination. And electricity, of course.
Show Aziracrow are my favourite Aziracrow
(It's the way that they look at each other)
37 notes
·
View notes