thecatmom
The Cat Mom
Welcome to the home of: CiCi, Mittens, Tiny, Mica, The Fluff, Echo, Orville, and Wilbur.
There is no magic number of cats, but eight is a good one.
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-screeches over the cuteness of the fluff's video- tummy rubs(strokes?)!
Isn’t he a good and cute son?? He likes having his belly petted if you’re gentle! :D
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Millie went to the vet for her aggression issues; we thought maybe her teeth were causing the problem but the vet doesn’t think that’s it. Now we’re forced to wonder if it’s boredom. :/ We have to keep her isolated from the other cats because she goes after Mica with intent to kill and when Orville jumped the baby gate to the basement she went after him, too.
Her appearance in the house (and Wilbur getting stuck in the basement with her) is what triggered Wilbur’s FIP, too, I’m sure.
She’s a super loving cat so I hate to keep her so completely separate, but the safety of all of them has to come first, and Mica has no claws and is missing an eye so can’t defend herself.
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Tiny had surgery for her bladder stones a while back, and she didn’t so much as look at her stitches. She healed up fast and has been in a much better mood since. These pictures are from shortly after the surgery; within a week I trusted her to be free from isolation, and I’m really happy with how everything’s gone.
She peed on the bed once after the surgery, but I think this might be due to complications of having bladder issues and not of the surgery itself. If she sleeps too hard sometimes she’ll pee herself----or something like that.
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It’s a rule that you have to run all movies past the cat children, first. Seems like it’s worth playing with, at least for a little while. ;)
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Thank you all for your condolences and nice messages about Wilbur (March 5, 2016–December 5, 2017).
He had exactly 21 months of life, and 19 of those were spent with us. It wasn’t a long life, but it was a good one. He was a quiet and introverted cat, but he had a fun personality and he liked to talk, especially to birds. Eating was his favorite pastime. We had Taco Bell for dinner today because he used to like waiting patiently for bits of quesarito cast-offs to sneak away. It was hard to eat; I have eaten very little since yesterday. I just can’t. I’m still sad. A quarter of the Fluff Family is gone, now, and it’s left a hole. But I’m laying in bed typing this and honestly, despite the tears today, and the ache that’s there in my heart, I do feel some peace. I’m so glad he’s not shut up alone in the other room anymore struggling to get his breath, and I’m relieved that he’s no longer slowly starving to death, sapped of strength, depressed, and in terrible pain, struggling just to walk a few steps. Do you know he faithfully struggled to the litterbox every single time? He tried so hard to be good.
And through all that pain and hurt he felt, the thing he wanted most from me was a stroke of his head with the backs of my fingers and a kiss on the forehead. It must have brought him a lot of comfort. He’d cry softly when he needed another pet and kiss, so I stayed in that room with him all the hours I wasn’t at work so that I could always do it for him.
He could barely hold his head up anymore this afternoon; he was so weak he just laid on the table exactly as he was put there and didn’t even fix his crooked legs. I don’t think he could. But when he saw us, he looked relieved, and tucked his head up against me. They gave us a few minutes alone with him and I kissed his forehead once and the tears came. I can’t remember the last time I cried like this. (Today was the first time my husband saw me cry.)
I just let him rest his face in my palm and kissed him a lot, stroked his cheeks. I know his fur looks a little bad in that picture, but it was still really soft. I told him that we know how hard he tried and that he was loved so, so much. That it was okay to go home, now, and I was sorry for all the misery of force feedings, but I wanted to be sure that it was his time. I didn’t want to let go too soon. I had to whisper because I couldn’t get the words out any other way–they kept getting stuck in my throat. My husband helped, of course, gently petting down his back. I let him give him a few forehead kisses, but I hogged most of them for myself.
He cried out one little time when the needle went in, but immediately calmed when I let him rest his head in the palm of my hand and returned to the gentle stroking/kissing of his soft little forehead, our little routine from the last couple of weeks. We gave him lots of kisses and told him how much we loved and would miss him, and that he did his best and we were proud of how hard he fought, and how brave he was. I couldn’t even blow my nose; I was too afraid to move my hand.
I promised him, quietly, that I’d see him again soon. I think he was already gone by then, it happened so fast, but that’s okay. I know he knows, and hey, it’ll feel like a long time to me, but he’s probably already befriending Buttons and Abby and Moxie and all the others who have gone on before–maybe even your pets, too!–so for him, it’ll feel like no time at all has passed. I hope he spends the interim in a peaceful little spot where he can enjoy the sun, chirp at birds, and quietly enjoy the presence of others: his favorite things besides human food!
No regrets. I feel fortunate to have been able to walk beside him; Wilbur was a small but bright blessing in my life. He will always be my good and sweet little son.
As soon as I get my home PC back (and therefore my photographs), I’d like to do a little tribute week over on my cat blog @thecatmom for him with some pictures of happier times. I hope some of you will join me for that.
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I've got a 19yo, blind and deaf, female cat named Smokie. She has, as of late, been going to my door in the middle of the night and scratching and meowing until I leave my room and feed her. I'd put up the baby gate in the hall, but we have to keep it open so that our dog won't go to the bathroom on the carpet at night (same dog also likes to eat my cat's food when nobody's watching) (plus Smokie can squeeze through the bars). Lately she's even been sleeping in front of my door. What do I do?
Hi @darkautomaton! Sorry for the delayed response to your message! Things have been busy on my end with two sick cats. Whew!
I think my first question is: does Smokie eat if you feed her in the middle of the night?
19 is pretty dang old for a cat and there are a lot of reasons a cat that old might suddenly change her behavior. My first thought was that she might not be able to eat as much in one sitting anymore, or that her digestive system is working faster or slower, throwing off her mental schedule and confusing her. If she’s not actually eating when she wakes you up, though, it could be that she’s not feeling very well (very likely, considering her age) and that you’re a source of comfort for her. I know whenever my Tiny feels awful she’ll come and lay in my lap for hours: something she doesn’t do very often otherwise.
Is it possible you could leave food out for her in a place only she can get to? (For example, put the baby gate in front of a small room like a pantry or laundry room and set the food on the floor in there for her? (If it’s a medium/large dog you could get a baby gate that has a cat door opening in the bottom of it, too! Like this one!) That way if Smokie is honestly just hungry there will be a place for her to get to her food all the time. It’s not ideal for the humans in the house who have to climb over/open the gate when they want through, but it might be a good solution to you getting uninterrupted sleep. I obviously don’t know the layout of your house but since Smokie is blind and deaf a permanent location for her food would probably be a good idea for her--particularly in a place the dog can’t get at it, because you want it to always be there when she’s hungry so that she doesn’t come to you. That, of course, will only work if she’s actually hungry when she wakes you up (instead of asking “to be fed” and then just ignoring the food).
Feel free to reblog this and add more information, or message me to talk (though I have no home PC at the moment and may not respond right away).
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He meant to do that...?
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Question: my fixed male cat, Malcom. He hates all things to do with people and being touched, so we generally leave him be. Today he's being loud, clingy, and is currently sitting in my lap and growling at me when I try to pet him. Food, water, and litter box are in order. Should I take this as a sign that there's something wrong?
I’ve had the privilege of having two fixed male cats thatgenerally disliked being touched and one day randomly decided that they wantedpets (on their terms, of course); they got very vocal and demanded some reallyawkward attention (pets that they liked to duck out of the way of but initiatedanyway). However, neither of them are lap cats (they like to sit nearby, butnot on people—they’re observers,really), and neither ever growled when petted. So I think in your case there may be something afoot.
My initial questions to you would be:
Where are you petting him when he growls? Is it everywhereyou touch or in a particular place (ears, face, back, neck, near the tail)?
Are you justpetting him or also holding him/partially picking him up/trying to cuddle him?
Does he also flatten his ears? Show his teeth?
What happens if you don’tpet him?
It might be that he’s decided he wants to try sitting on you (this can be a sign of affection in general) but he doesn’t want petted. It might also be that where you’re petting him irritates him/he just doesn’t like it.
But a cat who is usually aloof suddenly sticking to you like Velcro? That’s a sign of illness. Sometimes if a cat doesn’t want touched in a particularplace, it’s just because they don’t like it. Other times, there is a reason for it; it’s a very individual thing, but the longer you have your cat, the more you’ll notice these quirks about their behavior (and be able to tell what’s odd versus what’s new). Injuries that may elicit a poor response from your pet when touched could include a physical injury of some sort (say, a burned paw) or even something internal, like a hernia.
That doesn’t mean that Malcolm has something wrong with him, of course; you know him better than I do, and you’ll probably be able to figure out pretty fast if this is a new behavior or if it’s a cry for help. Paul, one of the cats I mentioned above as suddenly decided he wanted attention, was about five years old when he suddenly changed his tune; Wilbur, the other one, was much younger. Neither want to be petted very much even now. What concerns me about Malcolm is that growling! So just to be on the safe side, here are some other things to look out for:
Is his appetite the same as always or is he disinterested intreats he used to like/his food in general?
Is he drinking an abnormal amount of water or avoiding thewater dish?
Is he using the litterbox at his normal rate? If you can catch him using it, try to watch him discreetly (some cats don’t like to be watched); you’ll want to keep your eyes open for straining and/or obvious discomfort.
Male cats, even young male cats, can develop crystals intheir urine, bladder stones, and UTIs, and these need help from a vet ASAP asin males it can be fatal. Sometimes it’s hard to notice blood in urine unless they go outside of the litterbox (as my Tiny did, but she’s a female so her urethra wasn’t fully blocked which is what tends to happen to males). My sister has a fixed male cat who has chroniccolitis, something that can be helped with a diet change, but it’s shown by diarrhea and blood in the stool.
Your cat’s age can have an effect on suspected issues, too.For example, 10-year-old Rowa who lives with my parents was diagnosed just acouple of weeks ago with kidney disease (chronic), and I suspect my CiCi (12years old) may have a small tumor on the back of her neck.
Typically when you take your cat to the vet, they look for common issues first, and you can help speed things along just by paying attention to the things I mentioned above. If a male cat loses his appetite, runs a fever, and appears to be uncomfortable/in pain, the first thing they’ll suspect is a bladderstone/infection/UTI. It can be relatively inexpensive to treat with an antibiotic but it has to be treated or it won’t get better.
I’m not sure what time you sent this message, but if it’s been a few hours and he’s still doing this, see if you can answer some of my questions for yourself; if they’re sending up red flags to you, it will be in your best interest to get him to a vet as soon as you can. It’s always better to be safe than sorry!
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ADOPTING A PET: A PSA
Pets are dependent on you for food, water, shelter, attention, and medical care. If you know you can’t, and more to the point, if you won’t provide ALL OF THESE THINGS you have no business owning one.
I have plenty of empathy for people who simply can’t afford surgeries their pet needs; I’ve been there, unexpectedly unemployed and with little hope of employment, with a cat that had bladder stones. It’s terrifying. I had to tell my vet that I didn’t have very much money. That they needed to run any expense by me beforehand because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to pay for it. To all of you: I understand what you’re going through. You are not the kind of person I’m talking about. I know that you will do everything in your power to help your pets.
What I’m talking about is selfishness. It has no place in a relationship that involves another living, breathing being. And yes, that includes your relationship with your pets.
There is a huge difference in not having money to take your cat to the vet for something and making the choice not to do it because you’d rather spend that money on yourself. “Treat yourself” culture isn’t inherently terrible, and it’s fully understandable to do nice little things for yourself to make the days pass by a little easier, but it should never, ever come at the expense of another living being that is dependent on you to be okay! Ever. Period. There are no exceptions to this. If you can’t afford to take your pet to the vet then you also can’t afford new clothes or a new computer (or whatever other fun things you’re looking at buying) for yourself.
But I think people need to understand this: when you adopt a pet you are placing it in a position where it depends completely on you for everything! Literally everything. If you won’t provide what your pet needs (or you know you can’t), then you need to accept that about yourself and do the adult thing which is to not get a pet. If you want some fun pet time, follow animal blogs, volunteer at a shelter/rescue, or spend time with the pets of family/friends. It really is that simple.
Your animal isn’t going to be able to communicate to you how terrible they feel or how much help they need; your responsibility as a pet owner is to realize when your pet is in pain and get it the help it needs as soon as possible, even if it means waiting another month to have something cool that you want. There is never, ever an exception to this. If you aren’t willing to make that sacrifice then you don’t have any business having a pet.
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The Litterbox Dilemma
A lot of people have trouble with cats and litterboxes, so I thought I’d make a post from my own experiences of a lifetime with large multicat households and compile it for easy reading!
Usually cats complain about litterboxes (or don’t/won’t use them) for a few reasons:
1.) Dirty! It might not even look dirty at a glance, but if you have a “sprayer” cat (kinda pees up on the sides of the box), the smell can get a bit too strong for your cat. The easiest way to deal with that is to just use a damp paper towel to wipe it off when you scoop it. Doesn’t have to be every day but at least a few times a week will keep the smell from overwhelming him/upsetting him. Some cats are also way pickier than others. I’m blessed that none of my eight mind if the litterbox isn’t clean; they all use it until there’s no room left and even then most of them will just keep using it. (We’ve all been there where we failed to clean it for like a whole week... Not ideal but it happens.) (Also check the lip edges/seam of the litterbox for pee.)
And a thought: make sure the floor around the litterbox isn’t ...littered with cat litter. ;)
2.) She doesn’t like the box. All cats have different needs for the box shape depending on size, age, and health.
This is my go-to litterbox (and I JUST REALIZED IT’S SUPER ON SALE BECAUSE OF LABOR DAY HOLY SHIT): Nature’s Miracle Corner Litter Box!
I have the oblong litterbox by them but I don’t much care for it; the corner one is my absolute favorite. It’s really sturdy, a bit heavy duty, and it has a large opening which is great for bigger cats or cats who are afraid of crawling into smaller openings/afraid of feeling trapped or, hah, cornered! I have cats of all sizes and this just works excellent for them. The best part is that the sides are high which helps with the cats I have that tend to spray more than squat to pee.
Some cats don’t like covered boxes, but I’ve never had that issue so long as the top was tall enough and the opening big enough!
Also, flap entries/top entry litterboxes: they aren’t worth the risk IMO. Most cats tend to feel trapped.
3.) He doesn’t like his litter. Now, this can range from him not liking the brand of litter to not liking the depth.
We use this litter which we buy in bulk from Costco. It’s not amazing but it’s not bad. I’ve used much worse. (Every try newspaper litter? Don’t do it.) I don’t care overmuch about dust because in my experience the worst dust happens when I pour it in the box, not when the cats kick it around. Now, some of the “crystal” litter I had problems with because my cats didn’t like the way it stuck in their paws/smelled. I always preferred unscented litter and this isn’t that but it’s not a strong smell, which I can get behind.
IMO: strongly scented “prevents odor haha” litter is mostly garbage. It’s made to make life better for us, not our cats. That’s not the right attitude to have as a pet owner. This is an animal with a sensitive nose. This isn’t about us. Get a pet rock if you’re afraid of bad smells.
I prefer kinda medium grain litter. Larger stuff the cats don’t recognize as litter sometimes, and sand-grain litter is, well, it’s okay but that tends to be dustier which isn’t especially good for you or your pet (when they’re trapped in there trying to bury their business getting dust all up in their nose).
Now, depth. Some people put just a little litter in the box because they wash it out often. Or because they don’t want to “waste” the litter. I tried that for a while early in my Cat Ownership Days and it didn’t work. Now I put a good 2-2.5″+ of litter into my boxes, and since I use deep litterboxes there’s still plenty of room for the cats. (We have two of the corner ones, one oblong one, and then several of these. I always remove flap entries, btw. IME they suck and cats hate them.)
4.) Exit mats, et cetera. Some people like to buy mats for the litterbox.
Like this one. Or this one. Or even this one!
I’ve had all of them over the years, and I received the pawprint shaped one en masse as a gift when I moved here. I hate them because they’re hard to clean but they do their job and aren’t hard for the cats to walk on. The latter mat, the plain flat one, is nice too, and I use one of those in one room.
In my experience the harder plastic ones will be rejected and cats don’t like how they feel on their feet + they sit up off the ground and it feels unnatural to climb into and out of the litterbox with so many level changes present.
Some cats are going to hate mats, others will love them. We also use a bunch of carpet remnant rectangles under our boxes which has been mostly successful. Cats do want to be able to get litter off their paws when they exit the box.
5.) Health problems. This could mean a UTI or bladder stones, which makes it hurt to go pee; the cat then may associate peeing in the box with pain and get confused enough to start peeing outside of it. IME when this happens and it’s not too severe, you’ll notice the cat peeing right in front of it/next to it. When Tiny had bad bladder stones, sometimes she didn’t even make it near the box, but it was obvious something was wrong because she wouldn’t even try to pee on an absorbent surface--which most cats do by default. There was also the fact that her urine was pink (from blood of course). Luckily she’s all right now! What I want to make clear is that if a cat is peeing outside of a box that almost always uses the box with no issues: there’s a problem and it’s up to you to do something about it.
And as a word of caution, UTIs and bladder stones can be fatal pretty quickly in males (it can be fatal in females but it happens more rarely), so if you think your cat might have one, get to the vet as soon as you can. And no, don’t feed him that “urinary tract food” garbage. More water is actually the best thing in most cases, so your vet might prescribe high moisture content cat food, which helped Tiny’s bladder stones shrink & pass without the need for surgery!
Other health problems can include
crippled paws from declawing, which makes litter painful to stand on/kick around to bury their business. (You can try sand in this case, or another type of litter, to see if it helps.)
liver/kidney problems
hip pain from arthritis/being overweight/both
pain in general (your cat WILL PISS as a way of telling you something is wrong, so try to pay attention to them to try and figure out what it could be).
When in doubt, get to a vet. A cat with bad teeth can’t tell you their mouth hurts and may still eat largely enough like normal that you’d never know they were in pain. Look for lethargy, difficulty moving around, and lack of activities they used to enjoy. A cat with a hip that hurts might not jump so much--or might miss jumps. As much as we like to laugh at “cute” videos of cats missing jumps by wide margins, when it’s your own cat, please pay attention to the frequency of this happening; it can be a sign of something serious being wrong (like an inner ear infection or bad joints, eye problems, etc etc).
Now, fat cats or older cats might have a harder time climbing into the litterbox because it’s too far to jump. You can try raising the litter level & making or buying a little ramp for them.
My corner litterboxes have an opening that I think is perfect for older cats because it does dip a bit lower and push out so that they can see where they’re going a little better/don’t have to lift their legs so high...but in the near future I’ll probably be building a few ramps for my cats anyway because I have some that are getting old/are arthritic.
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Make yourself some cat shelves!
Cat shelves! I love them! And your cats probably will, too!
The problem is cost. They’re expensive from sites like Etsy or Petco. And look, it’s nice to have really cute shelves but for $100 I can buy my cats something way cooler than a place to sit.
So Neal and I decided to make our own.
Why shelves? They give your cats a place up out of the way to view the room/out of windows/etc which helps with stimulation and allows them to feel safe. So if you can put holes in ya wall, make some cheap shelves by doing the following:
1.) Go to Menards and look in the shelving section. They usually have bits of like “example look” countertops that aren’t actually countertops! They are 3ft long and you can buy them for cheap because they just want to get rid of them. I bought mine for $1.50! (And when Neal went back he found some that were even longer! Nice!)
They’re not beautiful by any stretch of the imagination but they’re super cheap and as much as I want to be about aesthetic I just can’t afford it. Besides, when it comes to pets, function > aesthetic every time. Or it should be.
b.) Buy two brackets: that’s another $1 each if you can find them on sale! We decided to use metal ones instead of plastic just ‘cause we have some heavier cats. And if you don’t have one, you might wanna also pick up a studfinder & a small level!
(Look at all the cat hair...)
c.) Grab your studfinder to find studs, a level to make sure your cat won’t slide off into the abyss, and drill that sucker in there! This is easier with a bit of help (someone to help eyeball things/hold things).
We put ours in upside-down so that the lip on the edge faced up. The reason for this was to keep the cats contained so that they could stretch out or roll around up there safely. The “countertop” part is pretty slippery (and I didn’t want my cats to jump and slide off with blankets) plus I think it’s nice to have it facing down so that I can see the “pretty part” of it. Both function and aesthetic--sort of! What more could I want?
We also put some towels and beds on the shelves for Maximum Happiness & Comfort. ;)
And as you can see, we tried to line them up with other bits of furniture so that they could easily get up and down from both directions, which helps prevent a cat from feeling trapped up there by another cat.
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Let’s talk about cat toys!
Okay, so let’s talk about PLAYING!! There are lots of toys for cats but as you probably already know, most toys aren’t really...that good? Or like, the cats don’t really enjoy them very much. Once you’re super attuned to cats--and your own cat in particular--you’ll start to look at cat toys in the store and just...roll your eyes because you know people buy them and their cats just...avoid them or get bored of them in the first ten seconds. LOL.
It’s like they seem fun but you can tell they were designed by someone who doesn’t really know cats that well.
So, cat toy successes for me!!
1.) The Catnip Banana!! Or, if you prefer, The Chili. (The Chili is super cheap right now just FYI. Buy these things online when they’re on super sale ‘cause they’re like $7ea in stores.) My cats all love these stupid things, though it’s clear that some love them more than others. The bananas and chilis get tons of use and I highly recommend one to everyone. Tiny especially loves flinging hers in the air while I’m watching TV.
2.) The Scratcher Couch. LOOK, when these things are on sale for $15 (like they are right now), you’re getting a good deal. First of all, a plain floor scratcher from Wal-Mart is $10 and your cat will devastate the thing in like 10 seconds flat. This is $5 more on sale and is super, super sturdy. All our cats like it, again, some more than others but out of the eight I’d say more than half like using it regularly. Even one of the declawed cats loves sitting on it and scratching it.
3.) Balls! If your cat likes carrying things around in his mouth, you can find some smaller balls for him to carry around. CiCi used to like the hard plastic ones with bells inside. Orville loves this weird soft one we have (I think it’s actually for a dog lol).
4.) Toy mice. Some cats like these and they’re relatively inexpensive so if your cats hate them you didn’t spend a lot of money and if they LOVE them and therefore DECIMATE THEM you don’t feel like you’ve made a mistake. ;) Echo is the one of ours who appreciates these. Nobody else really does.
5.) Laser pointers!! I have had mixed luck with these, but if your cat chases little sunspots across the carpet I’d say these are a good bet. They’re also not expensive if you just wanna get a cheap one and try it out. Of all of my cats, Orville loves them the best (he knows the drawer it’s in and will try and take it out of the drawer to give to me haha), but once that light is moving, Echo, Mica, Mittens, and sometimes CiCi join in chasing it around. These work best IME if you have a long hallway to let them chase it down... Or stairs. You can tire cats out really fast that way.
6.) Other toys!! Let’s see!! Cat Cubes: CiCi used to love hiding in these and jumping out at you when you walked past.
Baskets are always a hit. Some of my cats like to sit in there because they think you can’t see them...lol. (They get really flat to the bottom when you walk by.) Sometimes you can find lined baskets in craft stores or you can even sew a quick canvasy lining for easy washing yourself!!
Crinkle bags! I have a few cats that just like walking around on these or laying on them. They’re not invested in crawling inside, but if you have cats that love doing that, you can buy those fun pop out cat tunnels.
A WORD OF WARNING WITH CRINKLY STUFF THOUGH: it’s annoying at night if you can hear it from your bedroom, as I can, so you might have to have a place that you can store it every night if you’re in a smaller space.
Boxes are free and my cats like to use them for scratching too. Paper bags too, but be careful of the handles (cut them off so they don’t get caught around their neck when you’re not around).
I also used to have success with these ball chaser toys though I don’t own one at the moment.
Fishing rods are also perfect and IME most cats will play with these.
And finally, a disclaimer for cat toys: I don’t buy things with feathers on them anymore, the reason being that too many of my cats like to chew the feathers off and eat them. So, a word of caution to all cat owners out there, especially newer cat owners: avoid toys you know your cat could choke on or hurt themselves on.
For example, Echo loooves it when I open a bottle of coffee because she likes to sneak onto the desk and run away with these:
They are round so they roll on the floor, they crinkle, and they’re plastic. I usually let her play with them for a little while, monitored of course, and throw them away as soon as they’re done--just to make sure they don’t actually ingest any plastic.
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The dad he didn’t have to be
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