How are penguins not extinct?

my mom just came to me and ranted about how everyone is making this facebook status that says, “raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree”. she was so baffled by this because she said, “you were pretty easy to raise as teenagers. all you did was sleep and eat.” 

so to prove some point she’s going to nail a small cup of jello to a tree. 

My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.

When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.

you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog

“The camera adds 10 pounds” is a phrase of the past. Now people look better in their pictures than they do in person

Empathy: I feel you

Sympathy: I feel for you

Lycanthropy: I feel awoo

it’s the end of incredibles 2. the incredibles drive off to stop crime. the screen goes black. everyone raises their hands to clap when a familiar overture plays. words appear on the screen, reading:

“THE INCREDIBLES will return in AVENGERS 4.”

I invite my closest friends and family to a gender reveal party, but when I open the box with maniacal flourish instead of pink or blue balloons, a television screen is revealed.

I dim the lights remotely as we hear Cate Blanchett say, “The world is changed. I feel it in the water.”

Too late, they realise.

The pregnancy? A scam.

The Lord of the Rings editions? Extended.

The doors? Locked.

Same. (via matsuda98)

Wait, which series does Miles Morales first appear in? All these different series are so confusing

Tiffany Haddish for W Magazine

Bonus+

Another post of giant bi pride flags! 

dianna agron as brandon flowers in just another girl 

This time of year can be frustrating for people in the aro/ace community.

I will be here, whenever you need to talk. 

transcription under the cut:

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