First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

True and sincere answer to all of the people who ask, "I have just seen X animal, what does this mean?":

Rejoice, my friend, for this is a most auspicious sign! You have received one of the greatest blessings known to human kind: you live in a world full of creatures! Take comfort and enjoy this divine blessing.

what was i doing

i'm on a semem diet i see men i eat them

got fired via a text from my boss who i’ve never digitally communicated with and because it was an unknown number sending a mysterious link with no context (turned out to be security camera footage of me taking 1 can of cheap beer) i assumed it was spam and my immediate response was

we need more lesbians guys

i keep quoting this theirs actual tears in my eyes

@scribgles

them: you better not be gay wolf when i come over

my gay wolf ass:

*walks up to you and checks the item description on your tiddies*

fuck that robot friday

popular holotuber spacebomberguy has uploaded a new five hour video essay! it starts as a critique of the new “dress like a senator” fashion line and it’s place in pro-republic clone wars propaganda, before spiraling into a discovery that chancellor palpatine is a sith lord!! reactions on the holonet are mixed, with macewinduofficial declaring the video “necessary viewing for all of coruscant” while anakinskyyyy3534 replied to a link with “TLDW”

Deitypunch unalive or some shit

Look at this goofy fucker pretending to be a writer. GET OUTTA HERE