#40

I have a DnD story for the page. My friend is(was) role playing a neutral (and quite frankly racist) ranger/rogue gnome. His backstory was that he accidentally killed a noble, botching a job for his guild, thus he ended up tagging along with the party. The night before a climactic battle, he is ambushed by an assassin, which was then subdued by the party. This made him seriously nervous knowing his former guild was looking for him and wanted him dead bad enough to send a well equipped assassin. During the battle that followed the next day he had the ingenious idea to fake his own death. He was in possession of a magic item that granted him "spider climb" along with his various dex based skills. His plan was to pretend to be hit by an attack and fall off a ledge, 500ft. Secretly, he would be climbing towards an elevator and making his way back into the underdark. His outrageous bluff and climb checks fooled everyone. However, while transitioning from the wall of the ledge to the elevator shaft he would have to make a jump check. He needed only a 4 to beat the check. He did not beat it. While faking his own demise, Poros the gnome actually fell to his death.

#39

So, the important character's in this story are the Human Rogue (Mak), the Human Wizard (Adrian), and our Drow NPC "allies."

So the whole mission was to stop the worshippers of Lolth from destroying this Underdark city, by using a Dao we thought we had under control to pull the Earth Elementals to us so thay we could kill them before they broke the pillars holding up the city. In one of the rooms, we found 3 drow already fighting one of the Elementals, so we jumped right in to help them. Once we killed that elemental and explained ourselves to the drow, we all prepared for the Dao to pull the last group of Elementals to us (which, of course, my Warlock was in the worst spot and got surrounded by 4 Elementals as they appeared)

Halfway through that fight (which also featured the other warlock in the party pissing off an elemental by repelling blasting it and running in a straight line way from it so it could never hit him), Mak happened to see one of the drow stop fighting, pull out a bag with wires sticking out of it, place it at the base of one of the pillars, and attempt to sneak away.

Of course, as players, we all knew it was a bomb and that this drow was an asshole, but Mak certainly had know way to know what a bomb was (I'm the only one in the group who MIGHT because I'm a rock gnome). But Mak decided that he would pick up the bag, slide it between the legs of the traitor drow, yell, "hey, I think you dropped something." And then, for some god awful reason, shoot it with his crossbow. He rolled a natural 20 to shoot it. He destroyed one of the pillars (making our fight much closer to failure) and nearly killed Adrian.

Later, in a different fight, Mak was sneaking around in another room and wound up behind a wall, out of sight of any of our characters, but right next to the Slaad that Adrian was about to shoot with a fireball... normally, Adrian would Spell Sculpt the fireball around any of his allies in the area, but the DM ruled that he can only do that to fireballs he manifests himself at that time, and he was casting this one from his ring of spell storing. The player almost didn't cast the spell but Mak's player said "go ahead, you don't know I'm there! And, it's not like I'd EVER accidentally blow you up!"

Moral of the story, don't trust rogues with bombs, and don't blow up the Wizard who loves fireballs

#38

My dnd group, upon meeting the raven queen for the first time requested the ability to seduce. So the entire party succeeded on a seduction roll and did great on their endurance and athletic rolls.

#37

just felt like sharing cause of the D&D stories you have been posting, but on one of my first experiences with D&D I played a campaign where the DM had added a homebrew feature of lifelong Blessings and Curses. My character, a Wood Elf Bard named Pochi, had the unfortunate curse that caused something bad to randomly happen at the beginning of encounters. I would roll a d20: low numbers mean character has a negative effect but non damaging, high is a damaging effect, nat 20 means something will happen that kill me, nat 1 nothing happened. I made it through the entire campaign surviving on the back of my hair. We made it to the end of the campaign to fight the boss. We fought a Necromancer, who was possesed by a Demon, in a cave full of cultist. I got the highest initiative, and the DM had pity on me and let me move and perfome a action before the curse kicks in. On a whim, I had my character run up to the boss, grapple him, and roll for the curse, getting a nat 20. The DM rolled to see what would happen, which happened to be the roof collapsing on me and the necromancer, instantly killing the both of us. My party all hated my character, but ended up having to sit in a confused haze as the DM said the kingdom made a statue of Pochi and made a festival to remember him. Long live Pochi, the demon slayer!

#36

Forgive me if I get some things wrong I never was taught the game very well.I was trying to impress my now ex boyfriend when I decided to play on his campaign. Playing as a mage with necromancy skill because we had been going up against a lot of vampires. Rolling through this cave we get into a boss fight with a vampire...golem. Giant mf maxes out on stats and every time we manage to do damage he just grabs a party members whole body with his fangs and drinks to regain his ability. Idk what the fuck my ex the dm was trying to prove by attempting to wipe us all at the start. Well when making my character I put points into the spell “control undead” even though I was told it was stupid never would use it. Well fuck my ex because after the golem managed to get our healer in his teeth I summoned up all I had and rolled a nat20 on casting my control spell and low and behold the dm’s roll could not beat mine and I suddenly I had control of HIS vampire golem. Of course still being new the first thing I told the golem was to drop my healer...GENTLY! To late 🤣 salty mf dropped our healer 18ft from the golems mouth. He survived though and I got to finish out the dungeon riding on a vampire golems shoulders

#34

It was a story following a group of 3 or 4 adventurers at the time. They had just come from this situation where they needed to rescue this “stolen” child and in order to do that, the group needed to track down the last person they saw the child with in the neighboring town. The party was comprised of a cloaked human, who was mutated into a crystalline form of his former self, an androgynous fellow who’s abilities were oh so magical with a chaotic twist, a brand new elf friend who they later realized is a relative to a former group member that died earlier in their journey, and I the crazy charismatic rogue that was fairly weak in battle but oh so attractive. The group followed down this route that would be a direct way to get to the next town. The thing was, by taking this road they would come to encounter three banshees blocking their path when they reached this clearing in the path with a small pond. It was night time, so they were easier pray for the banshees. It was a difficult battle for the group as the androgynous wizard sacrificed one of his/her servants to one of the banshees. Ultimately killing them both. Weakened, the wizard had no choice but to heal before assisting the rest of the group. With one banshee down, the group saw a glimpse of hope. The crystal fellow was able to assist the new elven friend defeat one of the banshees by hanging up on the weaker of the two. But while they took care of her, her sister was next to the elven friend dealing a lot of damage. While I, the helpless member in hiding would inevitably watch as his group where being killed. The crystal fellow was the smartest of the group, so before things would go too far, he remembered that silver was a huge advantage to deal damage against these banshees. But non of the members fighting had any pure silver on them to deal any damage against the strong banshee that was left. Three weakened party members, one hidden rogue, and a powerful banshee with almost no hits done to her, the glimpse of hope the party had seen earlier was beginning to disappear. Then suddenly, the rogue looked down at his previously cloaked shoes. The very new fancy shoes had pure silver aglets. With his turn to go, he fashioned the shoes in a way to make a makeshift weapon and sprinted toward the last banshee. Crit hitting her with multiple blows. NO ONE ever saw that coming. The rogue had succeeded in killing the last banshee in a tremendous way. This was for sure the best battle the rogue had ever been in. His proudest moment fighting for sure.

#35

So my oldest brother has been playing DnD for years, and invited myself and my other brothers to a campaign last summer. It was my little brother's first campaign, and he decided to play a wild mage cause it fit his personality. Fast forward a few weeks in, and we're in an underwater castle trying to find a demi-lich's phylactery and destroy it. Found it in the deepest part of the castle and slowly approach it so the weird green plants on the wall (that seemed to be sentient) didn't notice. We took too long and the lich is starting to come back to "life" so the wild mage freaks out and casts catapult on the phylactery at 5th level. The phylactery shoots through the water, hitting the NPC death knight's (who was following assisting the party) indestructible sword. The lich botched his saving rolls 3 times in a row, and gets one shot, leaving my oldest brother (DM) with his head in his hands for about 3 minutes. He then explained to us that the other group that was running this same campaign had all almost died while fighting the demi lich, and that he had expected us to have the same experience. Needless to say, the other group was pissed when he told them that we one shot the lich :D

#33

Some back story:  We have a pretty large adventuring group of 7 people  Uthal- Goliath fighter Bree- halfling rouge Linguini- human fighter Jeven- Nome Druid Bart- ?? Don't even know tbh Deco- aasimar cleric El grato- orc fighter  Now it should be mentioned that Bart is the son of the towns blacksmith and el grato is very fond of this woman

Now we're all (especially the dm) very RP oriented characters/players and we're playing a homebrew/out of the book style of Horde of the Dragon Queen. Now there's some tension in the party being that uthal and deco are the leaders and el grato is sort of a loose cannon. Well let's just say el grato tends to get us in some sticky situations, although he may argue. We were in a small cave system where we came across some mushroom creatures. After defeating our Druid (very high in nature obviously) got very excited knowing all about the different types of mushrooms. Now our DM knows the group dynamic really well and likes to play with that, as well as our emotions, and is willing to bend the rules a bit to make for some interesting RP. Anyway El Grato had done something to the Druid that had made him upset prior and the Druid and DM had decided these were a special sort of mushrooms. The Druid decides it's time for some payback. The Druid convinced el grato to ingest all the mushrooms and that they were 100% harmless. So we had the player that was playing el grato step out of the room and the DM asked each player to write down 3 side effects to the mushrooms. The player comes back into the room and ever so often the DM would roll to see which effect would take place. Needless to say we continued on into the dungeon. We came across a drop that was about 10 feet and prior to this Uthal and el grato got into an argument and uthal was now carrying el grato. Sick of el gratos shit uthal decides to throw el grato down the 10 ft drop. Now the whole party is at the edge of this drop off looking down at el grato watching him trip out on these mushrooms. Now as I mentioned before el grato was very fond of Bart's mother. Well el grato the starts to hallucinate her image in front of him and it's getting very intense. He starts to seduce the air as he talks to his imaginary version of Bart's mom while the whole party just watches. As this is happening Troglodytes start to surround el grato as one approaches he starts to caress it. He then seduces the troglodyte and gets it to become an ally of the group. He now has a troglodyte girlfriend and will be getting married to it next session.

#32

I suppose another one from our last session would be lovely. Ok so from our last tale #2 i believe, the party just befriended an ancient copper dragon because it laughed at our drunk dwarfs dumb ramblings when they first met. The dragon wasnt fond of our dark elf because he made some jokes about raping and pillaging. So when they were leaving town to go fight a quest from the town bouty board some orcs raiding caravans on the road. So they head out and our wizard, offers to put the elf to sleep and tie him up so he could get a wouldnt have to walk 30 miles. The dragon laughed a bit and says go for it! Now the elf was exchanging loot at a trader and the wizard knocked him out flawlessly. So all 5 load up and take off. When they got near the area like 2 km above ground. The wizard decided to skydive in like a special ops dude doing a HALO jump. So i quickly check the spells and rolled to decide what to do. I find feather falling in the spells and tell him. He jumps off with his acrobatics and has a decent roll. So jumps off and casts the spell. About 3 seconds after falling like a feather something passes him. It was the elf he never secured to the dragon. So after after all 6 of us burst out laughing. I made him do another acrobatics check and caught up prepared another 2 spells for the both of em. So about 200m above ground he cast it over some ruins. They both land in a hole in the tallest ruined tower. When the wizard looks up hes greeted by an Orc chieftain sitting on his bed looking confused. They landed in the middle of a orc tribes fort. Now the rest of the party had to do perception checks to find who witnessed the fuckup like a minute earlier. The rogue halfing was the only one who noticed the wizard jumping and the other sliding off and told the dragon about it so they dove and went to rescue them. Now back in the tower i rolled to decide what would interupt before they both die. (Both were very weak characters) i decided that 1-8 would be 10 orcs coming to kill whatever came in 9-17 would be the would be the dragon roaring and the chieftain would run outside. 18-20 would be a orc shaman would come and say these 2 were a sign from the orc gods. I rolled a 20. So with that luck i rolled the stats for the priest quickly cause these guys loved them ladies stats. She was a 9.5/10 and bigger than the chieftain. And back outside the sweeps over the camp with his acid breathe and rolls a 19. Hes knocking down ruined buildings and kills most of the orcs. The land and everyone jumps off. And when they do that they noticed a bright flash behind them. They turned around to see a badass glowing knight behind them where the dragon was. "What is there something on my face?!" The dragon now knight jokes and then charges past the party towards the tower. Now back inside the chieftain laughs and goes for a kill on the elf. Which was interupted by the shamans right hook. She then stand in front in combat stance to defend these idiots. The elf passes his constitution save who first thing says "loving the angle!" Clearly not amused the shaman kicks him to the wall hard. And the n the door slams open to a drunk dwarf who tried doing a performance roll. Failed bumped into a brazier and launched it into the chieftain doing 2 dmg. The rogue uses his bow and hits for 11 dmg, the fighter for 6 with a handaxe. The gold knight draws his flaming sword and in a flurry of 3 strikes does 71 dmg. Whats left of the body is only charred armor plate and busted ringmail. And immediately points it the shaman saying all orcs must be cleansed from this land. Now for the next 10 minutes the party tried convincing him to let this jaw dropping orc lady go. And it stopped there cause of time constraints. Oh and the elf then made and orc rape joke and got punched by the knight for 37 dmg knocking him unconscious lmao.

#31

Here's a Dnd story for you.

My players were talking to an alchemists npc who isn't right in the head. He has items like an inkwell that when thrown is Alchemists fire, a war axe that looks like a piece of wood with 2 small branches attached to it, weird stuff like that.

The party's bard, being a bard picked up a coconut. He went to tap it with his sword, and to his and his rogue wife's surprise, it turned out to be a bomb that looks like a coconut. They didn't heal after a battle (one of them pulled an avatar of death card from the deck of many things, and the other tried to help, summoning their own avatar of death) The blast only dealt 26 damage but killed them both. The necromancer ended up finding a way to bring them back.

#30

So our party was in a cart being chased by 12 horseman shooting arrows at us. Most of us did not have the range to hit them. Ranger (beastmaster)- I'd like to tell the horses to turn around and run the other way. DM- Ok roll for it. She rolls 20, 19, 20, 20, 20, 17, 20, 19, 19, 20, 9, 4 DM- well f***, 10 of the horses immediately turn and start running the other way, the last two horseman look at each other and in a panic turn and run away.

Our DM had his entire plan ruined by her awesome rolls and a good idea.

#29

Group of friends and I have been fighting a pack of blink dogs for about two in game hours (3 days irl) killed two of them only 2 left, the group consisting of me (teifling) paladin oathbreaker, a teifling monk, human bard, and a half elf sorcerer

Due to blink dogs being able to dodge magic missle he is literally huddled up pissing himself for the entirety of the fight (kept rolling like 3’s for con checks)

One of the blink dogs rolls to hit on my paladin, nat 1

He rolls over in front of me acting like he wants me to pet his chest so I ask to tame the dog, DM says “Roll a 20 and he’s yours and I’ll give you proficiency in Animal Handling”

*keeps eye contact the whole time the die is rolling*

Crit

So the dog I was fighting is now my ally so I start to get the charred pack leaders skull out of my calf (was burned there from a smite crit I rolled earlier) now that I tamed a blink dog and there was still one more the rest of the group while still being attacked try to roll to tame

After 5 minutes of watching them roll to tame and our bard living with 1hp left I decide “I want that dog too”

*rolls die jokingly after stating I want that dog too*

Crit

Pissed off everyone around the table cause now I have two blink dogs

Took the sorcerer 2 in game weeks to not piss himself in combat cause of the dogs

Fucking die rolls man

#28

On mine and a friends first ever Pathfinders Campaign, we play through a scenario of a Barbarian (me), a Pervy Paladin, and a snarky Rogue clearing a fort of an evil warlord. We manage to clear the fort without any problems and proceed to exit to go back to town to collect our reward when we are all set upon by a large contingent of Goblins and Orcs coming back to the fort. Myself and the Rogue are gearing up for a tough battle when the Paladin pipes up that he stops them and tells them to abandon their evil ways and to go find "God" and then proceeds to roll a Nat 20 on his Charisma check. Needless to say, the real final battle was the Rogue and Barbarian trying to process what had just happened.

#27

I have a DnD story for you.

I'm new to the game, a freshman in college, and this was my first time playing. I was a halfling monk armed with some darts for ranged combat. Our first combat encounter, we ambushed some goblins and took them by surprise. I one hit killed two of three of them, both with Nat20s. Hit them both right between the eyes. Our next encounter... same thing. One hit killed a goblin shaman by shooting a dart up his nose. We went through the dungeon, my halfling monk raking in more kills than the teifling warlock, human fighter, and dragonborn sorcerer combined. Until we met the bugbear boss. At that exact moment, I began rolling 3s and 4s, completely missing or not penetrating the armor. All my companions mocked and teased me as they brought the bugbear down... that is, until the bugbear reduced the fighter to one hp and knocked him across the room and the dragonborn hit the warlock on accident and cursed her to miss everything that wasn't a Nat20. Suddenly they required healing, but I was too busy trying not to be stepped on by an angry bugbear. I made a mad dash between his legs (good ole halfling agility) and threw a dart... right up his butthole. Needless to say, he was angry. So angry, that in his anger he lifted his mace to crush me and hit himself in the face. He fell down and landed on the sorceror, pinning him. While he's down, I draw my shortsword, and rush at him, only to run right past him and accidentally impale the warlock. She didn't die at least, but the bugbear stood up to attack again... so I threw my last dart at the enormous statue we were fighting in front of. Praying to the trinity, I roll a Nat20... And the dart somehow manages to topple the statue on top of the poor fellow. He goes down, killed by the unassuming halfling monk.

Needless to say, my party hated me and my luck.

#26

One time my barbarian rolled a nat20 on a chest and I smashed it open. Since it was a BAMF move that nearly killed an NPC my party let me have what was inside. It was a ring of swimming. Being the good soldier I was, I put the ring on my Genitalia. We fought our way through the castle staying orcs and goblins and making our way to the king. Upon seeing the King, he thanked us and explained that his brother was behind this betrayal, as he has always hated the King because of his sisters death. You see, his sister died when they were young; she drowned to death. As a young boy the King was unable to save her and his brother blamed him for it. So this would never happen again the King had a wizard enchant a family ring for him. So that one day if someone ever needed to be rescued from the bellowing depths, he would be able to save him. That ring made its way to the barbarians genitalia.

#25

Here's one for you guys.

While I was in the navy a friend of mine I was stationed with was a huge dnd fan. At this table are myself a dwarf fighter, my wife a gnome rogue, and my sister an archer... type person by the lowest definition, and our DM Derek.

The 3 of us have never played a table top before so we played what is known to this day as "Dungeons and Dereks". Truth be told we fought a few little goblins in the woods during our first quest and even though Derek refuses to admit it (fearing we would never want to play again) we must have died 4 times over.

Finally we beat our first fight and my fighter is wounded. He looks to my sister and says "your partner is bleeding out. You have medicine. What do you do?"

And my sister... in her infinite wisdom (24 years old by the way) says proudly "LEAVES! IM GOING TO FILL HIM WITH LEAVES!!"

Even in the super diet version we all played, Derek looks up... sighs.. and says "so you fill the GAPING wound with LEAVES!! and surprisingly enough it doesn't work... BECAUSE ITS FUCKING LEAVES".

It was roughly 3am by this point and we had been playing about 5 hours. To this day he makes it a point during our sessions to remind us that leaves are not in fact acceptable to stop hemorrhaging.

#24

DnD story for you. My party was a halfling ranger, half orc paladin, and a human druid. The druid isn't involved in this, but the hafling and half orc were. This was towards the beginning of our adventure, as we had just had our first run in with a bearded demon, and were looking to get out of town, and quick. As we were leaving town, we made our way by a farm, in which we step inside to buy a couple of horses for our party, so we can make our trip obviously shorter.

The half-orc Paladin, and the Hafling Ranger walk into the front of the stable looking for horses to buy, our druid decided to stay outside and play with some bunnies. Talking to the farmer the farmer states that he can sell us three small horses for about 200 silver. We oblige, now as the half orc leaves the stable entrance to go get the horses from the farm hands. the halfing ranger demands that he gets the money back for the horses. Intimidate check: Nat 20 farmer proceeded to give him all of his money in his possession, about 50 gold in total. Outside goes the ranger to meet the rest of the party. sooner rather than later, the farmer comes back with the town guard, and tells the guards that we stole the rest of his money, and were going to leave with the horses. Paladin says that we paid 200 silver for these horses fair and square, roles diplomacy :Nat 20 farmer is then hauled off to jail for lying and fraud, farm hands provide us with 3 big horses, and more money for our troubles.