I hate the “open floor plan” that everyone is obsessed with in houses now. I want nooks and crannies and bizarre floor plans. I don’t need to be able to see what someone is doing on the other side of the house. I want places to hide and lurk and dwell in the shadows. I am the beast who awaits in the labyrinth

Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

love

"I cant draw" then do it bad who gives a fuck.....

Huge fan of when my speech patterns rub off on people enjoy when thay happens

Human AU Vox

who can relate

Cursed cat Alastor x Lilo and Stitch

FINALLY DECIDED TO USE THIS SITE AGAIN‼️‼️‼️ anyways I will post all my hh content here kkkkk

Three darling daughters #girldad

Adam, the very first idiot

You ever have a random thought that's not intrusive, but somehow simultaneously so instinctive and so detached from your regular everyday life, that you vaguely figure it was probably just an ancestral spirit possessing you for a second?

I was baking an apple pie for fun, freehanding cardamom by vibes alone. And a thought pops into my head, must not be wasteful with them, spices are expensive. And I had to halt right there for a second. Why would I feel financial guilt about the amount of seasoning in homemade goods, when I spend money on far more frivolous shit every single day? My own weight in cinnamon would cost less than my rent.

Thank you for your concern, Maarit from the 1600s, but trust me, we're good. I can measure this cardamom with my heart and not the scale.

fantasy story: but we grew complacent, indulgent, arrogant, spoiled by this era of prosperity and splendour, and in our short-sighted greed and vanity, we ended it. me at 15: I hate this stupid trope. People aren't going to just turn stupid and ruin everything just because things have been "too good" for "too long". Why does this author think that people are inherently stupid and evil? people on social media in 2024: I'm not going to vaccinate my dogs or my children because polio, measels and rabies are so rare they're not a real threat anyway uwu me at 30: Ah. I see.

Me, after forgetting to cut the top off an onion before dicing it: “Aw dammit”

The Gordon Ramsey that lives in my head: “Don’t worry there, this mistake isn’t going to ruin anything. No need to be too hard on yourself”

Me: “Wow, that’s…not what I was expecting”

Gordon: “Of course, you ought to know by now that I don’t shout at cooks just to do so. I do it because the people in hit television show Kitchen Nightmares are putting their services out into the public and claim to be good enough to have the title of head chef. You’re just some guy in your twenties making beef stroganoff for yourself and your roommate. I’m kind of a dick, yeah, but I’m not gonna scream at you for a minor mistake like this”

Me: “Oh….well…thanks”

Gordon: “You’re welcome…cunt…”

the pillars holding up society:

people who film bootlegs of stage shows

people who write transcripts/captions for media that was released without them

wikipedia editors

people who translate funny tiktoks