[alt; userbox reads "this system is a menkisser"]

[Text: This system dislikes the terms ‘fictive’ and ‘factive’, please use the term introject.]

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hey, if you take any bit of system related advice to heart today, please let it be this: do not tell people the positive or negative triggers of certain alters if you do not absolutely one hundred percent trust them not to misuse that information.

That moment when another alter said something really out of pocket and you reread the messages

not necessarily sure if this is a DID thing rather than a trauma thing in general but it sure sucks living your life constantly doubting your own memory and feeling like ur exaggerating or making up your trauma

sorry babe i can’t come over. i’m arguing with the voices in my head about whether or not they exist again

I have the kind of DID where people don't fully notice it beyond 'little' inconsistencies in my personality, religious expression, preferences, pain tolerance etc until I tell them I have DID

And then there's a pause (and sometimes an explanation of what DID is)

Followed by "oh my god, that makes so much sense"

Sometimes blurry means there's too many near front to figure out who is in control

Somtimes blurry means we don't feel like anyone at all

Sometimes blurry means we're someone, but they're new or unknown so we can't tell

Sometimes blurry means there's a mix of a few of us and it's easier to just say we're blurry

Sometimes blurry means we're so dissociated we can't process who we are at all

reading old messages is really fucked up because you see things and you’re like i would not fucking say that

bruh i hate when you’re blurry and you feel like your identity is right on the tip of your tongue and you just can’t figure it out but you’re so close it’s like edging for DID

any tips for blackout amnesia?

-💚

Write. Everything. Important. Down. Ever.

I don't care if it's literally "take the dog out before you leave" on the coffee pot on a sticky note and then another on the door that says "make sure dog is in the house" before you leave. Write things down to avoid disaster. Make checklists for yourself to keep in specific rooms (bathroom, for example, could have hygiene related checkboxes).

If you don't live alone/are still with parents, you could still write most things down, but I would encourage you to do so by putting reminders on your phone set for certain increments, days of the week, or times of every day.

This doesn't just go for people with DID either. If you struggle with memory problems at all for any reason, as soon as important information is presented to you, write it down. We, as humans, retain information better if we write it down, and even if you don't remember, you now have a physical, tangible thing you can see rather than guessing.

Some days, DID looks like constant spacing out and never seeming fully there. Missed bits of conversations and a memory that doesn’t seem like it wants to work.

Sometimes it looks like talking to myself, constant internal noise and heightened sensory sensitivity.

Some days DID looks like being emotional for seemingly no reason, crying, laughing, anger over something I don’t know, emotional bleed-through from other alters.

Other days it just looks like severe PTSD. Avoidance, spacing out, needing help to ground myself. Flashbacks that I honestly can’t remember the triggers of, or remember the full event of, but that I know are flashbacks.

And sometimes it just looks like nothing at all. I seem put-together and relatively normal. You’d never know I had a dissociative disorder.

The day-to-day severity of my symptoms do not determine what mental illness I have. I still have DID and I still struggle with it whether you can see it or not.

Every time I find myself wanting to tell someone close to me I have DID I always get caught up on the fact that the majority of people don't experience this and wouldn't understand it intrinsically. It makes me feel like there's a huge communication barrier that I can't truly encapsulate, because the concept that people don't have alters is hard for me to understand. The fact people don't function in life like this and wouldn't get it how I get it makes me so hesitant to tell people what's going on. It feels so natural for me that it's actively difficult to explain. It would be like trying to explain breathing to someone who doesn't breathe

when people are like “but you said you didn’t like x a week ago” it’s like i’m a different person from who i was a week ago. i will be a different person tomorrow from who i am today. i am in a state of constant evolution & growth. the only things i want to be tethered to are solid values & a kind heart. everything else is always subject to change. always

trauma: *happens*

my brain, age 6: double it and give it to the next person

time to play my favorite game: am i In A Mood or am i Not Me?

Plural Culture is "I know a trauma happened yesterday. I know what the trauma was. But I keep forgetting and whenever I try to remember I can feel the brain trying to take the memories away" and knowing by next week you won't even remember you went through a trauma