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#your honor my bbg needed to eat and go on with his malevolent plans
gentleman-aster
·
6 months
Text
Reasons why Count Dracula is babygirl:
Fictional
Old man
Homicidal
Kinda gay
Beyond redemption
Spooky and isolated
Tries to act formal and like his plans work but is actually pathetic and kinda silly
#i can fix him :3
#Oh let's forget *certain* allegories from the book ok?
#this is just a silly post! so let's just take the book literally:333
#your honor my bbg needed to eat and go on with his malevolent plans
#I would play some romantic vampire music and sing and dance and spin him around musical style
#while he acts like the character who isn't aware he's in a musical
#cause he's not in a musical I'm just silly like that
#and that's how he falls in love with me :333
#and I tell him cool science facts and intermingle them with talking about ecology and peace and love on the planet earth
#and THAT'S how I fix him :333
#still a bloodsucker tho
#count dracula
#dracula daily
#dracula
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