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#you shouldve killed yourself two decades ago so i couldve wasted away mad at you like i was supposed to and wed be done with it.
termagax · 1 month
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like i think to fish theyre just both people who shouldve died a long time ago and now they arent allowed to. because they need each other. and they both crave that and resent it.
#they WANT to be so important to him that he would fall apart without then AND they resent that they cant fall apart without hurting him#they were having a perfectly decent apathetic slide into eternal misery and then he had to go and ruin it with love. whatever.#like they want to be this essential part of his life because they loooove having that power over him they really really do#and theyre mean about it too. but like. they dont like that it goes both ways#they dont like being looked after or cared about because they get too used to it and they feel themselves falling in love w him again and#they run away. and eventually they come back or he comes back to them. and they tell themselves its just transactional like#they have something he needs and he has something they want#animal sir chloe style#but just like that its like. its NOT that. they need him so fucking bad and they feel better when hes around even when they hate his ass#and espeically after they start 'working' for jr with him its like. they really really love him so bad and they hate it.#these stupid assholes making them feel alive again. making them feel FEEELINGS. liek a PERSON. eugh#and i think they hate how scared they get when something happens to roadhog. theyre supposed to know better than that basically#they feel like needing him is vulnerable because it opens the door for him to hurt them again which is why they so enjoy being the one in#control + being the one who leaves#and the one who lashes out and ect ect. but they cant help themself and they hate hirself for it. so like. well the only solution is that#you shouldve killed yourself two decades ago so i couldve wasted away mad at you like i was supposed to and wed be done with it.#fishs got a case of wanting to die in such a way where they wont take any active steps to get there#but they resent being alive and they resent every minute of pain they endure by being alive. hence the very sex booze violence lifestyle#but the frustrating thing about him is that they. most of the time. like being alive with him. so they have to endure more#more pain and heartache and frustration. and they dont want to but they cant do anything else. they cant even leave again at this point#anyways. my fishy#🐟#they have every disease
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