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#you just know they'd be involved
arcanefandomweek · 4 months
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Trialling Warwick-end?
Hi team!
This blog has seen an uptick in followers since the teaser for season 2 of Arcane has dropped.
This is an interest check for a new type of event :
Warwick-end. Warweekend? IDK which is funnier.
Simply a 2 days window during which people would share their meta, predictions, fic, art, playlist, etc. Concerning Warwick, his creation, his impact on season 2, etc.
Each person could submit 1 to as many work as they want, on these days. Prompts would be entirely open and have to revolve around Vander//Warwick.
Please consider reblogging as signal boost to get the word out if you have moots who enjoy Arcane!
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nozomijoestar · 4 months
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Asuka is a tragic figure, a figure of mystery, a wild card, all because the only thing she wants in life is peace and quiet for herself and to feel in control- yet her secret heritage that may be hidden from her for her own protection and the reality that life is unpredictable and will go on with or without you keep ruining that delusion, that vision of how the world is meant to work to her, and she suffers regardless of what she wants, what she does, and how little she understands anything
She was born into a family preaching peace and balance and order while being a creature of violence, and puts a dozen mental locks and excuses over this truth to justify giving into her impulse for fighting by pretending she's justice when she does it
She keeps trying to build a place of safety but she's using sand and life is a wave that destroys, yet she stubbornly persists rather than give up, not drowned to the point of self centered suicidal loathing like Jin- there's contrast, where Jin is cloaked in death Asuka stubbornly clings to life and humanity as a normal person in a terrifying world
She's not a fucking narrative clone for Jun's own purpose, Asuka's purpose must be determined by Asuka herself
#tekken#Jin is born of two worlds Jun walks between two worlds Asuka is at the crossroads of two worlds#Jin is broken by it Jun traded part of her humanity to reconcile it and now Asuka has to accept it yet persist- she is always persisting#that's her strength that no matter what she's always still herself#'For being so very Y o u' as Lili told her bc she sees it#she's an interesting character BECAUSE she's not Jun and she's not Jin and she's not aligned with them entirely#stop waiting for her to be something she's not#also i think it's GOOD she doesn't know everything or everyone in her family bc that builds mystery and suspense#it gives everything a tension in the background for when the normalcy charade will be broken by the bigger family drama catching up w her#what's happening to the Mishimas should be something no one is dragged into yet the one family member who's the least connected#is going to run out of time at some point and get hit by that trauma anyway and she doesn't even Know it's coming for her eventually#isn't it fucked up. how everything catches up with you in the end#and you won't even understand it until it's too late ie. her involvement in T8 global war now#also a character that wants peace and order but actively pursues violence ensuring she will never truly have those things bc of her nature#AND she's already been traumatized by T5 Feng and T6 Jin that just makes her retreat to seeking comfort in detachment- in the familiar#which only prolongs her avoiding the world outside what she can control- and then Lili won't let her live in ignorance not to punish her#but bc she wants to help her bc the Mishimas have already put their claws in Lili- they won't catch Asuka off guard#what is it with people sanitizing the messiness and humanity characters represent in favor of 'If they just acted logically the way I want#then they'd solve the entire story 1 2 3 and we'll have everything wrapped up easy' THAT'S NOT A STORY THAT'S A MATH EQUATION#FEEL SOMETHING INSTEAD OF ALWAYS NEEDING TO SOUND SMART AND HAVE PERFECT ANSWERS YOU STUPID FUCKS#IN TRYING TO MAKE EVERYTHING HAVE A PERFECT SOLUTION YOU'VE LOST SIGHT OF WHAT'S IN THE TEXT#AND ALSO ASUKA BEING VIOLENT BUT STILL CARING ABOUT PEOPLE AND DOING GOOD DESPITE IT#and AsuLili is about two similar people who've been traumatized finding safety in each other once they put down the trauma responses#this is all in line with T8's tagline of Face Your Fate btw this is literally what was always coming finding you & you face it
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wigglesdtuff · 1 year
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Cringe is dead and I wanted to doodle tonight so here's another sketch of Robin and Franky's very real and canon daughter not at all exclusive to my fic - which can be found here:
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infizero · 1 year
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showing my growth by rejecting the “every ship gets happily married and becomes wonderful parents to lovely children” mindset and admitting that many pairings should just not be parents
#long gone are my days of woobifying shadow and sanitizing sonadow down to aw cute hedgehogs and one of them is traumatized#they are RIVALS and shadow will never be that lovey dovey with sonic even if they have been dating for 30 years thats just not who he is#they can find happiness/contentment in each other like i imagined but that sprinkle of toxicity would never rlly go away#and again even if theyre perfectly happy existing like that. not a good environment for a kid!#i dont even imagine them getting married anymore like i still like my idea of the ''cat orphanage w a chao garden'' house that they live in#but they wouldnt be married. they'd be partners and sonic would live there. but he'd ''live there'' in the same way he lives with tails#in that. its a place to come back home to when needed but a lot of the time hes just elsewhere exploring and having adventures and stuff#and shadow would probably tag along on a lot of these adventures. but not all of them#also feeds into part of my idea for the future which has always been present which is just. sonic being romantically involved w a couple#other ppl (knuckles for example)#those relationships dont have a label theyre just friends and then sometimes theyll kiss or go on dates or something#he and shadow are partners. thats concrete. everything else is just fluid/undefined (also should clarify that this is in like a poly way lol#shadow is aware of these relationships and has no problem with them and sonic knows that)#anyways i didnt mean to ramble but i have been thinking about this recently#how i'd modify my older idea of sonadow in the future#thats the end. ps once again promoting the poly sonic agenda. if you look at him and you dont think hes poly. youre just wrong im sorry#(excluding aroace sonic enjoyers for obvious reasons lol)#serena.txt
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munamania · 1 year
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right can i just. okay. lesbian is not a genre so im not looking to lump all these shows together. got that out of the way. im also not looking to pit queer people against each other so ok checking that off the list. i am however going to go ahead and throw the misogyny card out here because it’s fucking annoying how shows that center women, especially when theyre woc and/or queer, still just don’t take off even in progressive online spaces the way any shows with our darling young gay male couples will. i’m not saying that’s, like, the Cause of them being cancelled either because we’ve been shown numbers don’t matter. and many of the “”lesbian”” shows that have been cancelled were popular otherwise. just complaining xo!
#because well maybe many of these lesbian shows are not that good. and it's hard for people to care#but also sometimes they like are. or they're not 'good' but they're still fun and if the dynamics in play were primarily#attractive young guys i personally think they'd take off. but there's no way to like prove that so im just talking out of my ass#and ALSO. regardless of the lesbian aspect of it. many of you will watch such ass shows that have like no women or one woman in it#and hype it up to all hell cause that's your babygirl#I SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO HAVE A GOOFY STUPID ASS DYKE TRAPPED IN A SHOW THAT ISNT THAT GOOD AND HAVE FUN!!!#i deserve pathetic women!!!!!#and also. largely upset with the most recent cancellations because of the butches/masc lesbians involved#because that you know has a special place in my heart. okay whatever#anyway. let me also add that plenty of the people who hype up mediocre gay shows are some of the most annoying people on the planet#so yk maybe it's a gift in a way to just have the illusion that the relationship begins and ends with me and my tv and one friend#but. like. the thing is is some of the tropes/dynamics/etc i see on these shows would make people go ferallllll if u know......#circumstances were different. but they just dont care. and also like. i think it's fair to be sad that ur just not getting more time#with characters u enjoy#that none of the money these streaming services get goes to even shitty quality stuff#honestly it's so smart of them to be like Ooo look gay people i have smth for u! and then get everyone online going#omg stream it so it doesnt get cancelled!!!!!! to maximize off it anyway. and then cancel before it can threaten their image or anything#and get too big. or be smth they invest in
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 7 months
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okay so like two things about this particular line.
one: i like the irony in claude telling someone to trust more.
two: HOWEVER, dimitri has literally absolutely no reason whatsoever in the name of yeehaw fuckity to not trust claude. i hate the way the game tries to absolutely force the things gw/sb claude does into ag when it doesn't even exist at all in ag. he never made a single hint of planning to just betray/harm the kingdom and this is literally at their first war meeting. not just that, but claude chose to go to faerghus himself and didn't ask them to go to leicester (which he specifically states being the one to choose to go to faerghus), so there wasn't anything indicating he might be up to something at all.
then we've got this stupid nugget:
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each side lacks trust and is expecting foul play? the church expects foul play from the kingdom? from the alliance which has done nothing to them in this route, and that's bad enough... but the fucking kingdom too?
the kingdom and alliance watching for foul play even though they're allies and never had a history of being aggressive toward each other?
i know i've talked about it before but... i just hate how they tried to force this "claude is always scheming something terrible" plotline, even where it doesn't belong. then they also added in the dumb bit here about even the church not trusting the other armies, even though they've... literally been helping them, gratefully, this whole war. they also didn't have to fight but chose to out of gratitude for being sheltered.
suddenly after the timeskip they just... don't trust each other?
like i totally get just being in it to reclaim gm and go home and not really in it for someone else or anyone else, but the distrust is just an asspull to make the church seem BaD as usual.
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claude just walked in and wasn't trusted. they also keep hammering it in right through the whole second half of the route with lots of kingdom allies (including playable ones) not trusting him. even if they relatively trust the alliance and the soldiers helping them that were integrated into their army, they specifically do not trust claude at all and are apprehensive about him.
dimitri agrees here if they can't be trusted, but he doesn't mention just personally distrusting them a whole lot. he agrees that they should be cautious if what the others say is true, but he also just shrugs it off as "they'll be enough to deal with the alliance if so". he seems unsure at first and kinda goes back and forth, but by the end he's the only character who faithfully believes that claude isn't just fucking around and leading them on (which literally, right to the very very very end, every single character except him is still very vocally doubting claude).
but like... why? there's... just... nothing to distrust him because of in this route. man literally exists and the game wants us to believe he's untrustworthy.
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yeehaw wtf??? why would anything happen between the kingdom and alliance after the war? why would anything need to happen? even if you try to argue that claude is gonna try to uwu depose of the top church officials, if the church is watching the kingdom like hawks like dimitri is apparently aware of, why would the kingdom get involved? why would they care? clearly the church doesn't trust them all that much after all, or at least anymore since the timeskip for some unknown reason, and the kingdom has now, after this war, paid back any debt it owed the church.
so like, why would they suddenly rush to the church's aid and help them if the church doesn't trust them? if they were friendly/allied it would make sense if they still wanted to help, but if the church is expecting foul play from the kingdom, why would the kingdom even care what happens to the church? they could turn a blind eye and pretend they don't have the resources to aid them anymore and that their own territory is still busy recovering.
even if you argue what they discussed at the very beginning of the war, the church either A: didn't ask for aid in this second conflict, or B: even if they did, the above stands. i don't think there would be any riots or anything like that in those cases if the kingdom didn't help the church. it's one thing to help, but it's another to just fight at the back and call of another territory, which dimitri clearly expresses he won't do in gw because he puts the safety of his people first. no matter what his feelings are on the matter, he knows he's a king and that he has a responsibility to his people first and foremost, as would be expected of a king (to protect his own people first and foremost).
while i could see claude wanting to talk after the war and get things straight, and while i could see dimitri there as a mediator, there's just... literally no reason for bad blood after all this. even if they don't trust each other, there's just no reason - and that's aside from the fact that it's total bs that they all just don't trust each other.
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lorenz just asks if shez has confidence in them. doesn't mention claude. shez though just... randomly is like oh yeah btw just not claude. totally unprompted.
lorenz distrusting claude has been part of his character since houses so his part of it is reasonable. normally i'd say it's really pushing things with claude not being trustworthy for someone to say they feel bad for shez/the kingdom army for the implication of having to deal with claude even as an ally, but the only reason i give this a pass is because it's an understandable and reasonable character who says it.
still though, it's like the game throws it in at every single possible opportunity for no reason at all. they don't give us any indication that claude is this big bad evil guy. he doesn't trust the church. like... that's it. he made that clear even in ag (even without the zaharas chapter), and that's just... it. the rest of this makes it seem like claude is going to just up and invade the kingdom after this war and try to unify fodlan (i.e. just go what edelgard's been doing this whole time).
it's just like... here, nobody trusts claude at all in this game just for simply existing. you don't even have to bring him up, because someone else will do it for you and shit talk him to remind you he's the biggest piece of shit the game can offer! meanwhile, we've got marianne who is concerned about edelgard (implication is her well being no less!) because the empire's army ain't doing so hot. poor indading aggressor! sure hope she's doing okay! fuck our leader though, he's the biggest steaming pile of bullshit garbage to ever exist (marianne didn't say that, but that's what the narrative is going for: poor edelgard, it's so sad that the invader is having it rough right now. anyway fuck claude he's literally as evil as tws).
i love ag but i'd say this is one of if not the worst hiccup in the writing. when it comes to faerghus itself and its characters, it's mostly fine and even great, but when it starts going into other territories/characters it ends up taking a nosedive in quality.
siiigh
#DCB Three Hopes Run#it's actually super ironic how ppl were lauding this after the trailers as#''it's gonna be the golden route game!'' like to begin with there was zero actual evidence of that#so idk why ppl just jumped to that conclusion based on snippets of in game events#but also like??? this game tore that apart like it was ripping up sensitive documents to be thrown out#literally straight up in every route went ''not a single territory trusts the other and they all secretly hate each other''#which. again. totally fucking stupid. but also hilarious that they went so far out of the golden route zone#and yet it's the game everyone was SO SURE would be the golden route#(even after they'd said they'd never make a golden route lmao)#but yeah the writing is just trash every single time they involve like anything outside of in-territory fighting#like the empire turmoil was fine. the writing wasn't really bad with the whole ludwig versus edelgard thing#and the stuff that was like leicester against almyra was fine. nader was even written well for that!#but once it gets into mingling territories however they're mingling be it fighting or allies#it gets so muddy and stupid and it's like what was even the point of doing that in EVERY route#hell by logic caspar would've been a recruitable character bc he'd see the bullshit going on in the empire and be like#wait this is fucked up nah im outta here i ain't fighting for this shit#but he just... stays??? bc he wants to fight for... edelgard??? who he is CLEARLY AWARE is not in charge anymore???#like if you were fighting for edelgard you would've fought against the ppl using her so... tws#even if you argue he didn't directly know it was thales and not ludwig at the helm caspar as he's supposed to be would never have#condoned what the empire was doing and would've left. if he thought it was ludwig in charge and hated what was going on he would've left#he's an idiot if he still thinks he's actually fighting /for/ edelgard at that point. his father even basically told him to get out of ther#but evidently once territories mingle in any way the writing just SKYDIVES out the window from the top floor of a skyscraper
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end-orfino · 18 days
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droners might have some flaws but i really think that if someone wants to write a proper rivals to lovers dynamic then they should study whatever hannah and corto have as a reference
#like just. i have heard a bunch of people complain about enemies to lovers dynamics sometimes accidentally turning out to just be toxic#because of the writers not nailing down the jackpot of the hostility from both parties being balanced#and also other reasons. and i myself have my own too. bcs its just not an easy dynamic to write#but genuiely so far? so far these two have none of these issues#their relationship goes from hating each other to considering each other a more respected rival to genuine friends in a great way that-#-doesnt feel rushed or unnatural#and they're unified by having far more similarities than you'd think they'd have at first glance. which was both why they hated each other#and why they work so great now that they're friends#AND their haterism towards each other back when they werent friends was very balanced and equal. they both hated each others guts lmao#and now that they're friends they still bicker but it was said directly that now its just how they act when racing is involved & theyre-#competing against each other. like that one 'best friends off court sworn enemies on it. athletes understand' meme#and outside of it they're genuiely friends and like each other#and EVEN DURING RACING. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MECHANIX RACE#their bickering during the race is pure fun for them they're LAUGHING TOGETHER it's so great#PLUS THE SHOW WENT OUT OF ITS WAY MORE THAN ONCE TO SHOW HOW WELL THEY CAN SYNCHRONIZE.#HOW WELL THEY CAN WORK TOGETHER.#i could say more. i could say more about them. but just know that the droners yuri is real#for the record though they're not. canon. i dont want to queerbait anyone on accident.#but i havent seen a single fan that wouldnt agree that they have something going on there#which even with a fandom this small is saying something
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musicalchaos07 · 1 year
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Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die I don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry I'm setting off, but not without my muse No, not without you
Inspired by This Post from @babygirl-jonathanbyers
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timegears-moved · 11 months
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i wonder if the order you do the areas in has an effect on the story and gameplay
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princekirijo · 2 years
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Atlus: Cops are very corrupt and even people with good intentions will be coerced into corruption by other means or die
Also Atlus: Lol here's 3 major Protagonist characters who become cops later in life and 2 who already work with the police and know how corrupt the force is and yet still continue that profession
YEAH EXACTLY ITS SO BIZARRE?? It's almost like they say something very true but then they get like idk scared?? Like "police are bad but oh don't worry we don't actually mean that here's 5 characters who are/become cops!!" It's such a strange direction to go in and the fact they keep doing it is even weirder
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noxianwilled · 11 months
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this is the wrong blog for this maybe (shyv's is right over there it's literally a sideblog to this one but shh) but i guess it fits bc i was thinking about the Noxian Perspective, and noxus is obviously playing a long game of destabilizing demacia (both the trifarix and the black rose) and the magic prejudice was obviously the weakest spot they had to exploit (which is why jaredan nudges lux in the right direction for the sylas events etc/why he also makes sure to let the security loose enough sylas and co manage to escape unscathed) but. i don't think they really need that sentiment to be prevalent anymore
in mageseeker (and thus spoilers from now on if you care not to read them) we've seen a severe increase in persecution to mages while sylas and his rebels became more active, right before a complete turn when j4 took away the mageseeker's power and outlawed persecuting mages and magical being for being what they are (more because of shyvana and, to some extent, lux, than sylas and the rebels really).
i like to think while that might seem a blow to noxus' plans, it wouldn't be really. have my doubts this is how riot will frame it, but thinking about how things happen, j4 allowing the increase of persecution only to outlaw it right after would, at best, make him seem like the weak and manipulable king the mageseekers saw him as, and at worst put him in a somewhat frail position with the noble houses and even the people, considering going from one extreme to the other likely would've managed to piss off everyone in one way or another. he may have earned the support of some of those who wanted a change in the mage situation ultimately, but i think it'd be hard for everyone to just forget right before that he was allowing not only imprisonment and exile of mages, but outright public executions of people just for being mages.
plus, sylas' own ending makes it clear that isn't as much change as he wants to see in demacia. he clearly still wants to overthrow the monarchy, even if j4 said mages have rights now. there's clearly still enough unrest and trouble brewing that noxus might be able to take advantage of. i think it'd be feasible for them to somewhat enable sylas' rebellion further. not outright and openly, but with the right agents allowing it to grow stronger and cause further trouble for the new king, as they did with the magic shenanigans.
ultimately the anti-monarchy sentiment could easily be used to make the empire seem more appealing to demacian citizens, not unlike noxus' stance on magic itself could've been used too. of course, j4 outlawing that persecution shouldn't have immediate effects in many ways; a lot of people would likely remain prejudiced and fearful. but even making magic more commonplace and widely accepted in the long run wouldn't be undermining noxus' position imo - that one warmason's note in the game itself that says the demacians would make fine soldiers for the empire if they were more open-minded about magic comes to mind, in particular. unhappiness with the monarchy + a wider acceptance of magic only make the demacians more suitable to be annexed. but yeah i'm going absolutely nowhere with this i was just thinking about noxus' outlook on demacia's current state and why i don't think any recent developments weakened the empire's position re: that.
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theheadlessgroom · 1 year
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https://www.tumblr.com/beatingheart-bride/707682277821497344
@beatingheart-bride
“I-I hated the rain too, when I was a boy,” Randall said as he sat down with his own hot mug to peer out the window, recalling the many, many squalls he had to sit out in with a certain lack of fondness. “The cold, the wet, I-I just hated it all...and the thunder and lightning didn’t help; it used to frighten me, and I couldn’t wait for it to be over.” He used to cower in the corner of his cage, hoping and praying it’d end soon.
“But, y-y’know, once I came here to the opera house? I-I didn’t mind them so much anymore,” he smiled shyly. “Sleeping up here in the attic, y-you’d think it’d just frighten me even more, but y’know, i-it actually...didn’t. Being up here, my own little home, dry, a-a roof over my head...i-it wasn’t so bad, I-I found. I-I find the rain...comforting, i-in a way, listening to it come down...”
One would think that being much higher up and therefore closer to the storm would have the opposite affect, but to Randall, somehow, it became almost soothing to hear at night: The tapping of the rain on the roof and the glass of the window, the rumble of thunder overhead, the occasional illumination of lightning...it was like a performance, like an opera of nature-the rain became the chorus, the thunder the orchestra...and the lightning the dancers. And that, to Randall, was soothing.
“I’ve spent many a sleepless night up with a storm...i-it sort of keeps me company, in a way, while I work on my libretto. It’s...nice, actually.”
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Me: okay that short little vegaspete oneshot I wrote on a whim got a lot of positive feedback and is one of my highest performing fics. Time to go back to my other wips. Maybe I'll finish up that angsty KimChay fic, or the Royal AU, or the kp x aftg crossover, or finally write some Arm/Tankhun, or maybe-
My brain: write more vegaspete
Me: but I just did? And I've been wanting to write these others for-
My brain: this time make it about that Oscar Wilde quote "love is a sacrament meant to be taken kneeling" except use the original intended meaning about an act love is being given a small act of compassion when you're in a vulnerable state AND make it about the common modern misinterpretation that the quote is talking about blowjobs.
Me: ......... fuck okay *opens new doc*
#the chokehold vegas and pete have me in is unreal#I went from uhhh no thanks to ok i can kinda see it to oh? to vegas pete and the hedgehog are the only characters in the show so fast#the irony of writing this about the wilde quote is that i already wrote a fic about that quote except for the rqg fandom#and its all soft vaguely romantic but could be platonic zolfwilde about zolf taking care of wilde and finding hope in each other#meanwhile the vp oneshot has already featured vegas brutally killin dudes pete being turned on by that some mild bloodplay and knifeplay#and more fucked up things to come <3#the rqg fic was about hope and comfort#the vp fic is about obsession and undying devotion to the point of total destruction#truly shows how you can take one thing (like the wilde quote) and create vastly different things despite having the same inspo#i WILL get to those wips i promise especially the aftg one that's been so fun to write#writing it has made me realize how insane neil andrew jean and kevin are compared to the kp characters#like im not even writing them in a dark au where they got more involved with the mafia they're all still dumbass exy players#but the aftg guys have the most fucked moral compasses and are completely desensitized to atrocities.#like what could kinn do to actually intimidate them? kinn cares too much about wanting to be good#even vegas would have no effect on them. they'd just be like 'oh great another riko good thing we know how to handle those'#he'd threaten to torture neil and neil would just stare at him like: literally almlst my entire body is covered in scars from torture#what can you possibly do to me that was done to me in like the first 20 years of my life? this is why you're a pathetic little bitch and no#one in your family will ever love or respect you.#i kinda wanna make a post of just vegas and all the times neil verbally came for rikos neck cause they fit too good
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earanie · 5 days
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so.
#first of all ive already been told exactly how stupid i am by my dear friend so i know#im dumb#But stiiiilll#remember how last week while i was having an all around breakdown i wrote to Them™?#it was just a stupid text like how you doing#But I mean stupid!! stupid!! so stupid! riiight?#what was i hoping? idk. I just wanted to hear from them and so well i took the matter in my own 2 hands#I missed them and I wanted to hear from them since I think about them 24/7 anyhow#and guess what? they answered me#(we're supposed to be friends of course they did)#and alright we were having a nice convo#i was kinda afraid they'd be kind of stand offish#not bc of anything but probably not to try and lead me on yk?#that's what id do probably - kind but not too involved as not to give any false hope#and im so glad bc they arent doing that! we really did have a nice convo#ok at some point they answered kinda weirdly but that's probably just them being a v bad texter#which - fair - im not that good myself#thing isssss... the convo is still going on. 6 no 7 days later?#they're offering info that they don't need to. asking questions too! it's like they're actually enjoying talking to me!#I want to cry of happiness okay#and ik this doesn't mean a thing - i know it. i know how things stand. I am okay with it.#But to know they still enjoy talking to me and sending their precious little time chatting with me - i mean. fuck#and each time the convo was kinda dying down they still managed to keep it going 😭 i could cry#and today we've really been going back and forth and it's the best thing that's happened to me all month ok? ok.#and they've just asked me how was my morning. totally unnecessary question. im so happy i could die#yes im delusional but im in love so please god please universe - just keep thing convo going a bit more#just let me have this - it's such a small joy and such a small hope - just let me have this for a little while more#I wont go crazy - or i will but it won't hurt me worse than ive already been hurt so the danger is worth it#god I love them that's so awful
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teaboot · 16 days
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This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.
I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.
(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)
Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.
And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.
I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.
And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.
But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.
But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.
And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.
So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.
And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.
But what if I hadn't known how to do that?
What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?
What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?
My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.
And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?
How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?
I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.
I think I'm gonna frame it.*
(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)
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rescuefield-arch1 · 9 months
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somewhere in rebecca's archives there are probably a bunch of memo recordings about claire and her t-p situation and like, technically it's for research bc she asks claire questions abd whatnot, except that claire is an utter bastard annoying
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