#you have got go be one of my most persistent mutuals cause i can't remember a day where i haven't seen you reblog my works- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yuriyuruandyuraart · 3 months

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I want you to know that I very much enjoy seeing you around. I miss you when you're off doing school and work stuff, sure, but I always look forward to seeing you pop up again. Always catches me by surprise, too XD

Also I remembered your old vampire!au writings from when you were writing anon. I miss the times when you wrote stories like that, but I know you're busy nowadays. I will go back and reread them at some point ;)

HFHFGF NOOO DRAG OMGG 😭💞💞💞💞

If it makes you feel better, I got better at writing! I think xd it's for other fandoms and I never post them, but the thought of you actually going back to read that story despite how broken my English was back then is both the best thing someone has ever said to me about my writings so far, but also terrifying Ghfhfh like NOOO why would you DO that to yourself it suucks the plot was all over the place and the pacing/characterisation was terrible :'D I might draw them again one day now that you mentioned them tho...just for you and the people that remember these dorks HHH 🤭

#ask #and i really appreciate your support drag i meant it!#you have got go be one of my most persistent mutuals cause i can't remember a day where i haven't seen you reblog my works-#no matter if it's an ask or a writing or art you just keep popping up in my notifications as soon as you're active and i can't bro #I can't even express just how happy your presence in this blog makes me but i really hope you know that #cause if anything i miss YOU guys the most like fr!!! what would i even do without my wonderful talented mutuals oughgh :')c #just for you man im gonna try and maybe. just MAYBE revisit that au and tweak it up ro my liking ...maybe even write more who knooows #muah muah thank you thank you SsssO much yet again for passing by<3333

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ratsoh-writes · 3 years

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Alright, this is my first time actually sending anything anonymous (or any ask to someone who isn’t a mutual) on Tumblr but guess ya gotta start somewhere, heh

I’m serious and cold to anyone who I don’t know well and I have a habit of being sarcastic whether when I’m annoyed or trying to joke around with people I’m unfamiliar with though with people I know well, I’m supportive and a lot more open to laughing and joking around. I have a blank resting face, really the only time I smile is when I have something to smile about.

I’m actually really protective of my friends. I have a difficulty discerning what’s rude and not, I’m blunt but I’m also very careful not to say anything that could hurt someone’s feelings (of course I don’t have the best judgement with that).

I don’t always express my emotions properly, I’ll storm out when I’m nervous which can make it look like I’m angry when I’m more scared than anything.

I have really bad anxiety, especially when it comes to anger, it doesn’t have to be directed at me. I panic relatively easily, it doesn’t matter if I’ve lost something or it’s a rude comment, it can be someone who’s close or whom I’ve never met. Unfortunately I tend to be a bit of a pushover when it comes to defending myself, I’ve gotten better, I have certain times where I will stand up for myself but for the most part I just panic.

This also transitions when talking to people I don’t know well, sometimes I’m either ‘eh’ or really awkward if I have to actually talk to them.

Likes:

I like to draw, write, video games (more turn based and relaxing ones rather than shooting games) and collect animal figurines (they just make me smile, I remember when my mom first got me one and I was immediately grinning). I absolutely love animals, I have my own smol doggo and kitty cat :) I myself am a cat person

Dislikes or pet peeves:

People who are loud (like all the time, I can handle someone who laughs loudly) or nosy. I’m also not a fan of being touched, especially when it just kinda… happens. Not a fan of sports overall

Deal breakers:

Somebody who gets mad quickly or one who can’t calm down and talk about it rather than yell. Also somebody who can’t respect that I don’t like being touched without being asked or even then I might say no. I’d like someone who’s level headed or relaxed, though will take situations seriously. Or somebody who forces me to go out

Some specific traits I’d prefer is someone who is patient yet stubborn and won’t take my ‘I don’t care’ as an answer cause that’s my answer to many things because of my anxiety and my fear of upsetting people. I’d also like someone who can read body language as well. They also need to be able to wait for like a minute for me to answer a question properly since I uh decide things rather slowly.

Weaknesses:

-I don’t talk about my feelings, not even to people who I trust and am really close to

-I panic a lot

-I’m easily irritated, though I don’t often act on my anger unless it’s pent up, doesn’t mean I don’t show it y’know… via body language

-I’m more of a pessimist than anything else

-I’m a perfectionist, I have to do something right

-I’m prone to burnout

-I don’t have a lot of patience when it comes to people, specifically to people who nag, are idiots, or just rude

Strengths:

-I can and will stand up for my friends

-I care deeply for my friends and family

-I’m not a very judgy person, like let people do what they want man

-I’d like to think I’m somewhat good at giving advice

-I actually have a lot more patience when it comes to animals, they can poop in the house or tear something up and I’d be more frustrated than I am mad at them

Tidbits:

-I have 0 stamina or strength

-Legit someone can gently punch me and it’d hurt for a solid 30 seconds

-Tickling makes me want to cry(?)

-A long conversation can leave me exhausted, I need time to recharge and that time can either be a couple of hours or up to two weeks

-I pace a lot which is mostly to zone out and go into my own fantasy world, I’ll either pace in silence or while listening to music

-I can't focus on a single task if I'm working, gotta be doin something at the same time like listening to music

I have freckles, I’m a sandy blonde which is almost light brown, and blue eyes. I’m really short lol, I’m 4’10

Alright, after a lot of consideration, I think the best fit for you would be…………ACE (mafiaswap sans)!

First of all, ace is literally a mafia boss. He been dealing with temperamental and jumpy people his whole life. Your personality when he first meets you won’t phase him at all. And ace is just the right amount of patience and persistence to befriend anyone!

Ace is also very observant and witty. His whole job is to charm the pants off of people and make them relax. He’s great at picking up those signals for when you’re feeling uncomfortable. And it doesn’t take him long to figure out which buttons to push to help you loosen up. He’s not an enabler though. Ace does care about his loved ones and will insist on them stepping out of their comfort zones once in a while. He knows their limits though and is good about not pushing them. This is the main reason I picked him over second choice.

Ace is no stranger to video games. They aren’t necessarily his favorite thing, but he can be convinced to play with you. He does it plenty for his little brothers slim and bruiser.

He tends to show his affection more in acts of service and verbally rather than touch. And words mean a lot to him. He doesn’t except you to bear your soul to him all the time, but he would want to hear an “I love you” sometimes

Ace with a SO can be pretty playful. He likes leaving silly notes in his SOs pockets to find later, or sneaking mini treats or gifts into their room. It keeps them on their toes and gives him a chance to be stealthy.

If you’re curious, second choice would’ve been wine

#matchups #mafiaswap

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mrmallard · 3 years

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I'm gonna get personal on main, tag "#personal cw" if you wanna skip it. I'm gonna touch on alcohol briefly at the start, but I won't go fully into it.

I was sober for the past three weeks. Alcohol wasn't doing it for me, y'know - I'd had enough. So I thought that with the prospect of more counselling on the horizon, I'd give up now, hold true until my next session, and go from there.

The issue is that my counselling keeps getting rolled back due to COVID. I don't blame my counsellor, but I'm starting to get desperate y'know. I can't do phone appointments because the walls are thin where I live, but I need these appointments.

What I realised with sobriety is that it means you feel all your emotions at full strength again. After three weeks, lockdown and having no friends really frigging got to me. So now I'm trying to cope with things in an unhealthy way.

I had a thought today. I started thinking I was ready to go back to my old friend group - 5 months is long enough for the wound to have scabbed over, I think I'm over that whole fiasco.

But what I've learned in the last 5 months is that to be a part of that group is to stunt my own growth, and to submit to being a punchline. My friends did a lot for me - I'm only remotely as outgoing and sane today as I am because of them. But what I've come to realise is how many caveats that came with.

Like, I was absolutely a handful. But god, I felt so inferior to my best friend, and I drank to cope with how it made me feel so I wouldn't lash out. The whole thing with redhead girl was basically the final nail in the coffin, the most traumatic example of how he was more of a person than I was. I used to feel down because I saw how good he was with people, and in comparing myself to him I felt like less of a person. Being chosen by a girl I was rejected by was some next level shit.

What this all boils down to is that whether I'm over that or not, I don't think I'd ever be truly happy with any of those people again. Whatever comfort I would get from them would be fleeting, and the same unhappiness would be looming over me the entire time because I'm aware of it now. This can of worms is fully open.

I'm okay with them being together now, but I remember how miserable I was around my best friend and I just can't fucking go back. I can't do it. It's Canberra or bust, I need to get out of here.

Moving interstate is next to impossible during lockdown, though. And I spend so much time trying to mitigate the harm that each day does to me - I try to balance out the bad in every day with things that make me feel good, which distracts me from the bad stuff. But when the scales are balanced, the day's gone and I've done nothing productive. I do that every day.

Any movement forward I've had in the past has stalled. That's one reason I need counselling, it keeps me hopeful for the future and that keeps me going. Without that, I'm a slave to my lowest moments.

I'm using a lot of words to say that I'm lonely, I'm sad and I'm unmotivated. I have no friends - I have friends I can go back to, but it'll probably cause me more harm than good and I don't want to go back to that life, even if it eases some of what I'm going through without them. I have online friends, mutuals on here and discord friends and stuff, but I don't know how to talk to anyone. I actually want to apologize to my mutuals on here because I just don't know how to speak to you right now. Persistent replies and tags and stuff are pretty much the only way I communicate nowadays.

I don't know how to end this post. I'm Just Having A Bad Time, Babey!!!

#personal cw

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