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slashingdisneypasta · 3 years

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Hello. What about a villain SO who adores animals for Captain Hook, Hades, Dr. Facilier, Bill Cipher, Beetlejuice, and Jafar? Thank you hun😊🍯

Hope you like these ^^

~~~

Beetlejuice:

· I wouldn’t put it past him to make one or two beastiality jokes…

· But apart from that, he doesn’t half mind animals either! (And he finds it endearing to see you playing with them, not that he cares to identify at all the warm, soothing feeling in his chest when he sees you boop your nose against a tortoise’s.) He’d love a dog, or… a tiger. A dinosaur would be ideal.

· But actually, its animals that tend to have a problem with him.

· Cuz of course animals are a lot more sensitive than humans tend to be to ghosts, and demons, and souls. And his soul is pretty damn mucky. BJ has met exactly zero animal’s so far (Since his death) that haven’t taken an immediate dislike of him. They hiss at him, or growl, or try to wriggle away even if they aren’t being held by him; Just nearby to him.

· He scares them because they can feel his evil and want nothing to do with it.

· So your dreams of adopting a dog with your new ghostie bf will need to be put on a back burner. Maybe he can lasso a sandworm and y’all can name her Rose and she can be your pet? He absolutely does not want you to be sad because of him!!

Bill Cipher:

· “ooOOH, what kind? Anglerfish? Clown fish? Sharks? Lobsters? Giant Squid? Wolffish? The Textile Cone Snail’s native to the Red Sea, Indian Ocean and Oceania waters? Octopus? Lock Ness Monster? Mermaids? Shrimp? Koi? M E G A L A D O N S? OH OH- THE KRAKEN?”

· “Wow, that was a lotta underwater stuff. I mean, yeah, they’re all great but also land animals and birds… And I don’t think all those are actually real?”

· “Heheh, that’s what you think… “His body loses its colour and becomes like a Bill Shaped screen, like he does sometimes when he’s brainstorming, and you just catch a picture of somewhere under the ocean and a beautiful, purple tale flapping out of the picture and a flash of soft, human skin just above it. Your eyes blow wide open. “Y/N, remember 80 percent of the ocean is unexplored.”

· SO, yeah. Bill’s really into underwater creatures. It is the most mysterious part of earth and in it lives some of the world’s freakiest creatures.

· He’ll install a whole aquarium in your house out of excitement, and inside? Nothing but angler fish, giant squids to watch you while you sleep and beautifully coloured sea snails climbing up the glass walls.

· Land animals though and birds? Very little interest. Birds get points only for being close to dinosaurs (You ask about reptiles in that case and his eye inverts in its colouring. His ‘skin’ goes red. “Those jerks know what they did.”), but still he’d much rather talk about star fish! Get ready to be more educated about the ocean’s weirdest creatures and mysterious happenings then you ever wanted to be.

Captain Hook:

· He has very confused feelings about this- especially when you act so chummy with Tik Tok who, naturally, loves you and your T-Bone steak snacks.

· On one hand, if you’re feeding Tik Tok then Tik Tok probably won’t feel the need or be able, to eat him.

· But on the other- bEtrAyER! How could you feed and love that monster, that has plagued his life for years and made his existence a living hell?

· But then again, the fact that Tik Tok is now often too full to bother with him rears its head again and he calms down.

· Because of this, its typical that he says nothing when you have animals around (Any animal. They all remind him of Tik Tok. Scales, fur, or feather). He’ll want to. Gosh, the need to speak will overflow in his throat and he’ll take a deep breath- … but then no words come out. He forces it down. Because he can’t mention his dislike without mentioning his relief also, so speaking at all would really just make you confused and feel bad and leave him frustrated because he doesn’t know how either of you could change to make this better for anyone, so its just not worth it.

· So then he just walks away.

· Its pretty humorous to see, actually. Because he’s just all grumpy and slouching off, maybe shaking his head and muttering, and you’re all wide eyed and confused. Holding, like, a budgie or a snake or something.

· The other pirates are keeping a tally.

· Bonus point: He’s not scared (Or allergic) of any other animals apart from Tik Tok, so you don’t have to worry about him being skittish or anything.

Dr Facilier:

· Frogs are a difficult subject for him so enjoy amphibian cuties somewhere that he is not, please. Also rabbits- there was an incident before you came along that he does not speak of.

· Other then that, Facilier is basically a normal person about animals. He can appreciate a nice zoo visit every now and then and pet the odd dog or cat but with you in his life he never wants to go to a zoo again. And he’s bored as hell by everyday pets.

· But he won’t tell you he’s sick of all the animals. Nay, nay. Its one of those things where you love the person, so you put up with the crazy/annoying shit they love. Like ‘Yes, yes. Very interesting, cher… ‘ when you talk about it, while he’s actually reading the newspaper and he hasn’t heard anything you said. After all, you stay quiet when he’s plotting or cackling over something he did to a victim that day. Its only fair.

· He is fascinated, though, when he’s just watching you (Sometimes he just sits back and observes you doing your thing. Its relaxing for him) and he notices little quirks you’ve picked up from various creatures. Like the way you curl up when you’re lying down on the couch and how you shrink back from things that happened to surprise you, similar to a big cat. Your eyes are focused like a wild animal, too. Very cute.

· Lots of animal-themed nicknames.

Hades:

· “You know, some tell me I’m a kinda animal, babe… “He wiggles his eyebrows at you over his mug of whatever-he-drinks (You fear asking, after watching him eat a bowl of worms), offering his best (And funniest) bedroom eyes to you.

· “Yes, but are you as cute as this snake Hades?? Are you?? Look into these eyes and tell me this snek is not as cute as you are.” You lift the little grass snake gently from the table and onto your arm, letting him wrap its body around you and lift his head to look around; Checking out what’s up. He was getting his scales stroked good; Why has it stopped?

· “Pfft,” Hades rolls his eyes, returning to the chess board in front of him (He likes to play both sides and challenge himself).

· Okay so, Hades can take or leave most animals. But it’s so cute that you love them, so he lets you keep them around. Whatever animals you like (Don’t worry, you also have the proper equipment and enclosures for them, and Hades makes another God, who is an expert on all things animals, come by whenever you have a question), and however many you like. I mean, what’s the good of being a God if you can’t spoil yourself and your preciously excited, human significant other?

· So you have, like, Reptiles at the west end of his underworld castle, nocturnal animals on the east, more pet-type animals like dogs and cats and rabbits in the living area part of the castle, etc.

· The animals give Pain and Panic a hugely hard time, which Hades thinks is a great bonus to doing this for you.

· He really loves it when you call him and yourself the animal’s parents. Yes, call me Daddy, babes. Its fine by me!

Jafar:

· Oh my god, the disdain in his voice when he looks from you, practically bouncing on the heels of your feet and to the fluffy white kitty you’ve gently shoved in his hands- which he holds at nearly a full arm’s length away from him. “Eugh. Really?”

· “What’s wrong! ? Isn’t she the cutest?”

· “She’ll get fur everywhere.”

· “Oh, that’s rich… “You say, side eye-ing Iago, who’s making a face at the cat from Jafar’s other shoulder. “Iago stress moults- and you stress him out all the time!”

· A dramatic, offended gasp erupts from one of the two males (Not gonna tell you who). “It is aesthetically pleasing mess!”

· So basically if the animal doesn’t speak a language he understands, he doesn’t care for it. You’re going to be fighting him on this for the rest of your life, Y/N. (Or his. I mean, I heard evil double crossing sorcerer vizier’s are dying at an accelerated rate these days. Hm, mysterious.).

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #399

“i was raised by the devil’s own kin, taught me that a good time was never a sin”

Do you like wine? NOOOOOOO that shit is gross. Explain the grossest thing that's ever happened to you? Having an infected pilonidal cyst drained. Would you rather go on holiday somewhere warm or somewhere cold? Cold, for sure. What would be your ideal pet? I reeeeaaaally want a very visibly sunset morph ball python one day. The really pretty ones are expensive as fuck, but omg, I want one so badly. What was the last book you were required to read for school? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. It was fantastic. Would you chew somebody else's gum? EW FUCK NO. What was the last type of meat you ate? Chicken. How old were you when you had your first kiss? 16. At what age would you allow your kids to dye their hair? Whenever they wanted, as long as a professional did it. Which fast food place do you eat at the most? Probably McDonald's. Bats are not spooky or are they? I adore bats. Do you like the song "Womanizer?" Unabashedly, yes, haha. I love the beat and it's really catchy. Do you know how to change a tire? Nope. How big is your backyard? Very small. What is your favorite Nintendo 64 game? I've actually never played a Nintendo 64. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? I don't want any. Does a career in finance sound interesting to you? Absolutely not. When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I. HATE. Beans. What’s something that makes absolutely zero sense to you? Those that deny the existence of dinosaurs. Fossils don't lie. Do you like strawberry shortcake? No. What’s your favorite dessert? That's so hard, but probably cheesecake. What’s the last you got out of the freezer? Vanilla ice cream. Do you know anybody who is ambidextrous? Sara. Have you ever been 4-wheeling? Yes. Will you be attending any weddings in the near future? No. If you have glasses, have you ever smashed them? No. What was the last thing you got a really good deal on? My APAP mask. Insurance covered it way more than even the women in the office were used to so had to look into it. Insurance has been nice to me lately, from TMS to this. What was the last reason you took medicine? I had a massive headache. Any important birthdays coming up? My older sister's was today, and her eldest daughter's is in two days. Mark's birthday is the 28th, and that's like a holiday in my book lmao. What colour are your headphones? These earplugs are pink. How do you express your creativity? I mostly write RP and rarely poems. I also like to draw sometimes, and I'm big into photography. Gypsies or gnomes? Gypsies. Dragons or fairies? Dragons are my favorite mythological creatures. Elves or pixies? Elves. Where is your favourite place to get breakfast? Maybe Cracker Barrel? Or Waffle House. What was the first sport you learned how to play? I want to say soccer. I hated it. Nickname you’re called the most? "Britt" is the most used. Do you sleep on your stomach? I can't now with my mask. -_- That's how I usually slept. Have you ever been called a bitch? Yes. Would you ever want a super-realistic baby doll? Fuuuuuuuuuck no. I don't like dolls, never mind realistic ones. Ladybugs or bumblebees? Ladybugs. <3 What is the best thing that ever happened to you? My first round of a partial hospitalization program and meeting my psychiatrist. Both that therapy and proper medication is the reason I'm alive. What is something really hurtful someone you love has said to you? That I was an "ungrateful bitch." What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful? One for advanced ball python husbandry. There are some SERIOUS elitists in there, but it does have great information. Did your mom ever own a typewriter? I think she did? We used to have one, so. What would you have your bridesmaids wear? Maybe orange. I want to wear a black dress and get married in the fall, so, Halloween vibes! :') Where do you want to go on your honeymoon? I think Alaska. Do you wear a watch every day? I never do. Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia? No, thankfully. Not yet, anyway. Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I am much happier with pets. Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid? No. Have you been hurt more by friend break-ups or romantic break-ups? Romantic ones. Who is/was the best friend you have ever had? Sara. Do you own a trenchcoat? No, but I wish. They're badass. Name the hardiest piece of technology you own? My iPod that I've had since middle school. That bitch STILL works, and I use it heavily. Are you currently in a smoking environment? No; people aren't allowed to smoke in our house. Have you ever owned a tire swing? No. Does anyone you know own a bird that can talk? My old friend Alex did. I don't know if I can call her my "friend" anymore because I haven't seen or heard from her in well over a year at the bare minimum. Do you ever not speak to someone because you’re afraid you’ll annoy them? STORY OF MY LIFE. Is there any drama going on in your circle of friends? No. But I don't really have a "circle" of friends to begin with. Have you ever lost your luggage at an airport? No. Have you ever been on a rollercoaster that actually scared you? I don't go on rollercoasters. If given the opportunity, would you act in a commercial? No. Do you believe in finders keepers in most situations? No. How many pills do you currently take a day? Ugh... Now keep in mind this number encompasses medications that I just have to take a larger dose of that particular med; I don't take this number of different prescriptions. AS a whole though, I take uhhh. Somewhere around nine or ten in the morning, and six at night. I might be off about my morning pills. What do you take medication for? Bipolarity and depression, anxiety, OCD, severe heartburn, even more intense nightmares, uhhh... maybe I'm forgetting others? Idk, man. I'm on too many. Have you ever had a bag stolen? No. What class from high school did you love the most? Art. What class did you hate the most? Economics. If you don’t have a car, do you wish you did? Not at this very moment, because it'd be useless as I don't currently drive. Have you ever had a job you loved? Nope. What, if anything, do you substitute for fries? I just eat normal fries when they're offered. Have you ever been in a building that was on fire? No. Have you ever written a poem for someone? At least twice. Have you been best friends with someone of a different race? Yes. Who’s the last person who cussed you out in anger? I think only my grandmother has done that. Who is the person you are closest to that you’ve meet online? Sara. Have you friended your parents on FB? Mom, yes, while Dad doesn't have one. What do you absolutely have to have to make your birthday feel special? My family. Mice or roaches? I love mice, but roaches creep me out. Have you ever received a gift and truly did not know what it was? Yes. A family friend is good at that. Is there anyone whose grave you visit? No. Do you like being in pictures? NO. Do you travel a lot? Not at all. Have you ever eaten a dog treat? No. I've eaten a guinea pig treat though, haha. And it wasn't awful. Have you ever wanted to get drunk and get your mind off everything? Yes, but turns out my alcohol tolerance is too high while only liking weak alcohol to begin with. Have you played cards recently? No. Is there a certain song you like to headbang to? I don't do that, I'd get way too dizzy, and besides, I don't want a headache. Anything you might be giving up on soon? I've been wondering if I should (for the most part) abandon human photography. I've lost so much passion for it, and besides, I feel like I'm going nowhere with it. I know I really, really shouldn't, though. Have you ever captured a moth? I put a caterpillar in one of those little plastic habitats once as a kid that grew into a moth. I then released it, of course. When was the last time you changed your picture on Facebook? It's been months. Do you have a really fat cat? No, he's healthy. Do your initials spell a word? No. Have you ever made a business card for yourself? No. Did you love playing hide and seek as a kid? Yes, that was my favorite! Are there any recipes you have memorized? No. Do you know your multiplication times tables? No. Do your parents allow you to have your privacy? Yes. Have you ever been severely burned? No. Did you ever dream that you had a baby? I've had many, actually. Guess with who. What was the weirdest thing you've ever seen cross the road? I want to say a turkey? Or maybe it was beside the road.

#survey #suveys #random questions #lyrics: ''boss's daughter'' by pop evil

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saurian-game · 5 years

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Saurian DevLog #68

With setup out of the way, progress on playable Triceratops has begun in earnest, plus animation has begun on a new animal. Lets get into it.

Henry

Since Jake and Tom finished up all the animations for the Triceratops growth stages, I've been busy implementing them and reorganizing to accommodate them. In addition to refactoring and improving existing systems, such as the camera, I've been adding new features like proper foot IK and social calls. Before I speak about the latter, here's a clip running around as a bab. For such an ugly baby, it sure is adorable.

By now, I've refactored and rewritten the social systems to a point where I can begin to show some new behavior, albeit a simple one. In general our design philosophy has strived to use minimal UI, and so we hope to continue that trend with our social systems.

While we will be introducing new pieces of UI for social interaction (such as the interaction wheel), one thing we can avoid using it for is group membership validation. In the old system, social groups (which Dakotaraptor largely does not experience, instead being limited to AI) would always be created instantly and invisibly--however, that's not very player friendly.

Now, if you want to create/join/merge a new group, it's done through social displays. You can see it in this quick video where I make a new Triceratops friend.

As you can see, my new friend returns the social call to me to let me know it also wants to be friends, and then starts tagging along with me once I get too far away from it (since we're BFFs now, much unlike Jake and I in real life). If an AI makes this call to you, you will also be able to decide whether or not to accept your new friend.

While this mechanic manifests simply for the uniform subadult groups, it will involve more complex dynamics with adult/child patriarchal herds, in which the leader will have more agency. Hopefully, it'll be pretty cool. I'm already finding it enjoyable to feel like I have a friend in Hell Creek, not just horribly negligent raptor parents.

Jake

For the last few weeks Tom and I were wrapping up the remaining animations needed to make Pectinodon game ready. Most of these were turning animations and the like, nothing ya'll haven't really seen before, so nothing really stuck out as far as render material was concerned. Hopefully by next dev-log we can have the Pectinodon functioning in-game, and I'll be hard at work on the next creature.

Tom

For the majority of my time since last devlog, I have been helping finish off the animations for Pectinodon. However, since those have been done I have moved on to Anzu.

Since we’ve shown off our work-in-progress Pectinodon a couple of times now, I figured you might prefer to see a new dinosaur this week. I have wanted to work on this guy for a while, and he will be my little project I will plug away at whenever I don’t have work on more immediate updates to do.

The most prominent animation I did was the social display, which is a notable point of research in oviraptors like Anzu. Many species show a fused structure at the end of the tail that is hypothesized to anchor large display feathers on the tail. This tail fan is preserved directly in Caudipteryx and Similicaudipteryx. From the latter we even have a growth-series that show the fan developing as the animal ages:

Developing tail-fan feathers in a juvenile Similicaudipteryx, from O’Connor et al. 2012 Homology and Potential Cellular and Molecular Mechanisms for the Development of Unique Feather Morphologies in Early Birds.

It has been officially suggested in the literature that oviraptor tails are uniquely adapted as display structures, so this obviously had to be utilized. As Chris had also decked out our male Anzu with colorful wings and large white feathers on the underside of its neck, I wanted to use those too.

I watched a number of bird mating displays, but these were actually mostly too stiff, or the animal hopped and moved around too much. At the moment ours have to be stationary for the AI behavior, but I may talk to Henry about changing this up when we get to working on Anzu as a playable character. This is what I ended up doing.

I purposely animated it to look best from the perspective of a female Anzu, so the tail fan points down somewhat over the animal, and the male bows down and lifts his head to best show off the white bushy “beard” on his neck. Jacob didn’t render it from the optimal angle even though I told him to.

The mouth movements and animation length are purposely synced to Xico’s awesome and hilarious Anzu mating calls, which unfortunately you can not hear because Jacob is a sloshy bucket boy.

Community Spotlight

Our header image this week is by Discord member Neytiri, and displays their first kill as an adult Dakotaraptor, and this wonderfully moody screenshot by eriFenesoreK:

#saurian #devlog #saurian-game #hell creek

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shadowburner76 · 6 years

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DO THEM QUESTIONS TOO BBY, A L L. O F. T H E M. /ineedtoknowmoarabtsenpaihuehuehqodbaosk/ ( ˘▽˘)teheh--

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?Not really.2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?Four tbh. I don't really like the dark too much?? It isn't 100% afraid of the dark, more of what's within it and watching me, you know?3. The person you would never want to meet?Donald Trump. I'd probably end up beating the shit out of him.4. What is your favorite word?Fuck5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?A weeping willow! I rlly love them and they're so pretty 6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?"Oh god"7. What shirt are you wearing?My 'Gaming Peridot' shirt! Hella comfy 8. What do you label yourself as?A Raging Bisexual9. Bright room or dark room?Dark bc nap time10. What were you doing at midnight last night?Tryin to help a fren out11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?Like,, five? I was livin on a farm w/ goats and a cow who thought he was a goat. I also rlly like my age now bc my birbs, cats and pupper12. Who told you they loved you last?My dad. It was kinda awkward 13. Your worst enemy?My mom's boyfriend. He's a dick.14. What is your current desktop picture?I think my last desktop picture on my sisters computer was Zenyetta from OW15. Do you like someone?Possibly 16. The last song you listened to?Wait For It from Hamilton 17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?Probably myself 18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?My mom and my mom's boyfriend 19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?Probably Ohmwrecker?? I'd force him to play video games with me20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)My thighs,, thicc af 21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?I'd be taller, have a lil bit of muscle and if wank it22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?Falling asleep in the most uncomfortable places 23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?Basements. Don't like em,, never will. I used to be rlly fuckin afraid of mirrors too?? I'd scream and start crying whenever I saw one24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.Steak and cheese, pepper, onion, spinach and ranch 25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?Bird clipping, some snack, lighter fluid and so on26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?F r a n c e27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?Captain Morgan 28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Weed is legal and you can't do shit about it29. What is your favorite expletive?Fuck30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?Probably my Eevee??31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?Abuse.32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!Japan, France or Greece33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?My cat. Junebug34. What was your last dream about?Tbh I don't know?? I think it was one where I had a twin sister and bad things happened and it ended up with my head bashed into a water fountain and my eye missing.35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?Are you a good person to animals?36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?Yup. All throughout my life. Got sick a lot as a kid and later in life a ton of shit happened and wowow a lot of hospital visits 37. Have you ever built a snowman?Every year38. What is the color of your socks?I don't have any on, but I love my funky socks. They have wild designs and I like to mismatch them39. What type of music do you like?Anything and everything40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?Sunsets41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?Peanut butter and banana 42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)Cincinnati Bengals for American football, but I don't rlly know any soccer teams qrivnb never found interest in the sport43. Do you have any scars?Yup. One on my chin, my knees and elbows, forearm, stomach, forearm and abdomen area44. What do you want to be when you graduate?Zookeeper45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?Weight46. Are you reliable?I mean, kinda?? Like I am at times, but then other times I suck complete ass47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?Have you completed your life goals?48. Do you hold grudges?Yes. I hold them very easily and for years at a time49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?An owl and a wolf 50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?I accidentally sent a friend a weird picture of my face and I screamed for them to delete their messages and to not look then I sent a crying picture with "hnnng" across the bottom.51. Are you a good liar?Yes52. How long could you go without talking?Like,, three days to never replying ever 53. What has been you worst haircut/style?I cut my hair to ears length and I justSweet child why,, multiple people called me young man too54. Have you ever baked your own cake?Yes55. Can you do any accents other than your own?Yea I pick up on accents vvv easilyI was talking to my sister and slipped into what people would call a "Boston accent" and my sister was like "dude wtf you went all Boston on us,, u doin okay?"56. What do you like on your toast?Butter and jelly 57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?A mask for my oc?58. What would be you dream car?Jeep59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.I sing and sit instead of standing60. Do you believe in aliens?Yes 61. Do you often read your horoscope?Nah62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?J or W63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?Why can't it be both???64. What do you think about babies?Please don't put them in my arms,, I don't wanna drop em65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.Penis

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a-sims-garden · 7 years

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100 Questions To Invade My Personal Life

I saw @simsstuffmarie do this yesterday and thought I’d give it a go.

If you want to read it all good luck, if you can’t be bothered I don’t blame you, it’s quite long :D

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it? Elizabeth, it’s alright, it’s quite common.

2. Are you artistic? Not really, I used to be good at drawing when I was yonger.

3. Have you had your first kiss? I had my first kiss when I was 12 :P

4. What is your life goal? To have a secure job I love and maybe a couple of kids

5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person? I saw Warrick Davis at a convention once.

6. Do you play any sports? I used to play badminton at school but I don’t really do anything now.

7. What’s your worst fear? Being stuck in a tight space for ages - like being buried alive.

8. Who’s your biggest inspiration? Anyone who has motivation to do what they love.

9. Do you have any cool talents?

I can do a good Butterfree impression?

10. Are you a morning person? No way.

11. How do you feel about pet names? They can be cute, I find them a bit cringy to use myself. My boyfriend and I just call each other ‘love’. 12. Do you like to read? Alllllllllll the time. 13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life. Yuri!!!!! on Ice - I’ve never felt so strongly for two main characters my entire life.

Friends - I don’t know what I’d do without it, it’s a comfort for me whenever I re-watch it.

14. Do you care about your follower count?

Not really, I’m amazed even 1 person followed me (*´∀`*) I appreciate every single one though.

15. What’s the best dream you’ve had?

I’ve had a few where I’ve been able to fly, those where pretty fun.

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender?

Only when I was younger as a dare. I wish I had been more explorative when I was younger though since I think I’m most definitely bi now.

17. Do you have any pets?

Two cats.

18. Are you religious?

Not really. I like to think believing in reincarnation would be pretty cool though.

19. Are you a people person?

Only if they’re the kind of people I know how to get along with.

20. Are you considered popular?

Probably not but I don’t really care, I’ve got my group of close friends and that’s all I need.

21. What is one of your bad habits?

Being a bit selfish sometimes.

22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable

Thinking about how we’re all just little ants on this planet absorbed on our own little worlds and none of us are special.

23. What would you name your children?

I like Pheobe for a girl and Ethan for a boy. If in the very unlikely chance that I have twin boys I am 100% calling them Theo and Leo xD

24. Who’s your celebrity crush?

Scarlett Johansson can come and steal me away any day <3

25. What’s your best subject?

Animal Behaviour (what I studied at uni)

26. Dogs or cats?

Catssssss

27. Most-used social media besides Tumblr?

Probably a tie between Facebook and Twitter

28. Best friends name

Josh

29. Who does your main family consist of?

My mum and my sister

30. Chocolate or sugar

Aren’t they the same thing?? But always chocolate!!

31. Have you ever been on a date?

Lots

32. Do you like rollercoasters?

Love them!!

33. Can you swim?

Yup, I love swimming

34. What would you do in the event of an apocalypse?

Somehow try to meet up with my boyfriend and best friends, get our families and hide out at a big school or something.

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder

Bits of depression and anxiety, getting better now that I’ve finished uni!

36. Are your parents together?

Divorced 4 years ago.

37. What’s your favourite colour?

Greeeeeen

38. What country are you from/do you live in?

England, used to live in Wales for uni.

39. Favourite singer?

Dan Reynolds from Imagine Dragons

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day?

No, wouldn’t want to be.

41. Do you like dresses?

Sometimes, only for formal occasions.

42. Favourite song right now?

Believer by Imagine Dragons

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Nope

44. How old were you when you first got your period?

It was the morning of my 14th birthday... great present!

45. Have you ever shot a gun?

Only bb guns.

46. Have you ever done yoga?

No.

47. Are you a horror girl?

Only the Stephen King kind.

48. Are you good at giving advice?

Not really

49. Tell us a story about your childhood.

At preschool we would do the nativity play every year and one year I was an angel and got really nervous and wet myself... on stage xD

50. How are you doing today?

I’m alright, could be better, could be worse. (Halfway through these, woooo)

51. Were you a cute kid?

I was pretty cute. I had the chubbiest cheeks :D

52. Can you dance?

I used to do modern/jazz dance after school.

53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing?

Loving to read?

54. Have you ever dyed your hair?

Only highlights

55. What colour are your eyes?

Green

56. What’s your favourite animal?

Owls ( ◎▼◎ )

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself?

Plenty of times...

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Definitely with my Mum, not so much with my Dad since he moved out but getting closer since he had my little brother.

59. Do you have good friends?

They’re the bestest.

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?

Not that I know of

61. What’s your favourite class?

Used to be Biology

62. List all the tv shows you are watching.

Handmaiden’s tale and Friends

63. Are you organised?

Sometimes I get bursts of being organised but most of the time as long as I know where it is, that’s enough for me!

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?

Wonder Woman was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

67. Which tv character do you relate to most?

If I had to pick one, Pheobe from Friends although I’m sure there are lots of differences.

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?

Time and space... just kidding :P probably money.

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?

Looking after all the beautiful reptiles and birds I would buy...

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?

I’d probably be less scared to try new things

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?

Nothing, I’ve long stopped caring what other people think

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?

I’d spend less of my middle school years being sad and depressed because I had no friends, and I’d make my parents get the internet way earlier then when I was 17...

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

To save from death? 100%

74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new?

When me and my friends when camping last summer

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?

My cats

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?

I looked for jobs at local zoos and sanctuaries, applied for a couple the other day (fingers crossed!)

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

A zoo keeper

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?

My social life and relaxing time, otherwise I’d be volunteering/working 24/7

79. When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?

I can think of loads of examples...

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence

Get a job and move back in with my boyfriend and get a cat and maybe get engaged

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?

Tiring but productive xD

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?

Playing the Sims lol

And probably reading every book that ever existed.

83. How would you spend a billion dollars?

I’d pay for my mum to live in a nice house and take us all on holiday. Then I’d get a nice house for me and my bf and all of our pets that I’d buy.

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?

I’d love to go to the past and see how we evolved and how dinosaurs lived.

85. What motivates you to succeed?

My bf and my mum

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?

Whenever I have a nightmare about zombies and faceless things...

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?

Definitely the woods, cities are way too suffocating.

88. Do you believe in life after death

My science brain says no, but my imagination says maybe?

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?

My middle school science teacher who taught me how fun science is.

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory?

Our family holiday to Disney Land, Florida.

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?

Charles Darwin, I’d let him know how successful his work became.

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy?

Not many things could make me cry of joy. My bf proposing to me might do it though xD

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?

Everyone has the capacity for good and evil.

94. What do you think happens after we die?

You get a funeral...

95. What would you do if you could be invisible?

Pull pranks on people

96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try?

Be taller

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring?

No, although there are so many women in my family I will probably have only girls...

98. How did your first crush develop?

Poorly

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it?

Embarrassment

100. Do you live or do you just exist?

I try to live as best I can.

So there you go! Congrats if you made it to the end! I won’t tag anyone, just give it a go if ya wanna :)

#about me

1 note · View note

crowkt-blog · 6 years

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What inspired the names for the Super Mario Characters?

Nintendo heroes make the VR of theirs (arcade) debut with innovative Vive driven Mario Kart

Bandai Namco revealed a virtual reality edition of Mario Kart, Mario Kart Arcade GP VR, that will make the debut of its in a VR arcade the business is opening in Tokyo, Japan upcoming month.

The game seems to mark the VR debut of 1 of Nintendo's flagship franchises, nonetheless, it's essential to observe it's licensed by Nintendo and also invented by Namco - just like the non-VR predecessor of its, Mario Kart Arcade GP.Few specifics are currently obtainable in English concerning the game, nonetheless, it is listed on the arcade's website as jogging on HTC Vive headsets and specially-designed racing seats.

Nintendo has thus far been publicly reticent around the promise of VR - last calendar year frontman Shigeru Miyamoto told investors that for VR in specific, we're ongoing our homework, in addition to exploring enhancement and have a mind to the way our existing key products are meant to be played for a relatively long period of time of time.

We're looking into the options of delivering an adventure that provides worth when played for a little while, he continued. And the way to eradicate the concerns of long-duration use.

When I found that out I did two things. For starters, I whipped out the copy of mine (yes, I ensure that it stays that real/nerdy that I continue to have an old NES connected in my room) and then made positive I will be able to beat the game at will. (I can. Childhood not wasted.)

Secondly, I started down a rabbit hole of reading through Mario internet sites and Articles and Wikis. In the process, I stumbled upon the etymologies of the brands of a number of the key players in the Mario universe. Therefore, in honor of the video game that changed the globe, here they're, given in handy 11-item describe form.

Mario.

When Mario debuted in the arcade game "Donkey Kong", he was only called Jumpman. (Which also is the generic label regarding that Michael Jordan dispersed leg Nike logo. Two of the most celebrated icons ever equally have generic versions of themselves called Jumpman. But only one has nowadays gotten to a point of being so powerful that he shaved himself a Hitler mustache before filming a business and nobody had the balls to correct him.)

In 1980, as the Nintendo of America crew imported Jumpman to raise him right into a franchise-leading star (Hayden Christensen style), an individual discovered that he looked just like their Seattle office building's landlord... a person named Mario Segale.

Mario Segale didn't get yourself a dime for being the namesake of the most famous video game character by chance, although he probably isn't absurdly concerned; in 1998 he sold his asphalt small business for over sixty dolars million. (Or 600,000 additional lives.)

Luigi.

Luigi actually has among probably the weakest name beginnings of all the nintendo mario characters in the Mario universe (once again showing exactly why, for real life, he would have a larger inferiority complicated compared to Frank Stallone, Abel or that third Manning brother).

"Luigi" is merely the product of a group of Japanese guys trying to consider an Italian brand to complement "Mario." Why was that the Italian brand they went with? When they all moved from Japan to Seattle, the pizza area closest to the Nintendo headquarters known as Mario & Luigi's. (It has since gone out of business.)

Koopa.

Koopa is a transliterated variation of the Japanese rap for the opponent turtles, "Kuppa." Stick with me here -- kuppa is the Japanese phrase for a Korean plate called gukbap. Generally it's a cup of soup with cereal. From what I will explain to it's completely unrelated to turtles, particularly malicious ones.

In an interview, Mario's author, Shigeru Miyamoto, stated he was deciding between 3 brands which are different due to the race of evil turtles, all of that have been called after Korean foods. (The alternative two were yukhoe and bibimbap.) And that means among 2 things: (1) Miyamoto adores Korean food and needed to give it a tribute or even (2) Miyamoto considers Koreans are evil and need to be jumped on.

Wario.

I kind of overlooked the debut of Wario -- he debuted in 1992, right around when I was hitting the generation where I was too awesome for cartoon-y Nintendo games. (Me and the middle school buddies of mine were into Genesis just. I was again on Nintendo within four years.)

Turns out the name of his operates both in english and Japanese; I kinda assumed the English manner but did not know about the Japanese aspect. In English, he's an evil, bizarro world mirror image of Mario. The "M" flips to be a "W" and also Wario is created. The name likewise operates in Japanese, where it is a combination of Mario as well as "warui," which indicates "bad."

That's a really high quality situation, since, as I covered extensively in the list 11 Worst Japanese-To-English Translations In Nintendo History, not every language distinction finesses again as well as forth as efficiently.

Waluigi.

When I initially read "Waluigi" I thought it was hilarious. While Wario was an all natural counterbalance to Mario, Waluigi believed so comically shoehorned (just tacking the "wa" prefix before Luigi) -- like a huge inside joke that somehow cleared each and every bureaucratic phase and then cracked the mainstream.

Well... in accordance with the Nintendo men and women, Waluigi isn't only a gloriously idle choice or maybe an inside joke also been substantial. They *say* it is dependant upon the Japanese term ijiwaru, which means "bad guy."

I do not understand. I think that we'd have to cater for them much more than halfway to buy that.

Toad.

Toad is designed to look as a mushroom (or toadstool) thanks to his gigantic mushroom hat. It is a good thing these games debuted before the entire version understood how you can make penis jokes.

Anyway, in Japan, he's considered Kinopio, which happens to be a blend of the term for mushroom ("kinoko") and also the Japanese variant of Pinocchio ("pinokio"). Those mix to be something around the collections of "A Real Mushroom Boy."

Goomba.

In Japanese, these guys are called kuribo, that translates to "chestnut people." That makes sense because, ya know, if someone expected you "what do chestnut folks look like?" you would probably get to food roughly similar to the heroes.

Whenever they had been brought in for the American version, the team caught with their Italian initiative and also known as them Goombas... based off the Italian "goombah," that colloquially will mean something like "my fellow Italian friend." It also kind of evokes the photo of low level mafia criminals without too many expertise -- like individuals younger brothers and cousins who they'd to employ or maybe mother would yell at them. Which also is true for the Mario Bros. goombas.

Birdo.

Birdo has nothing at all to do with this particular initial Japanese name. Right now there, he's considered Kyasarin, which results in "Catherine."

In the instruction manual for Super Mario Bros. 2, in which Birdo debuted, the character description of his reads: "Birdo thinks he is a female and wants to be known as Birdetta."

What I think all this means? Nintendo shockingly made the decision to develop a character that battles with the gender identity of his and referred to as him Catherine. In the event it was some time to show up to America, they got feet that are cold so they resolved at the last second to telephone call him Birdo, although he's a dinosaur. (And don't offer me the "birds are descended from dinosaurs" pop paleontology collection. Not shopping for that connection.) That way, we would only know about his gender confusion if we have a look at mechanical, and the Japanese have been convinced Americans had been either way too lazy or perhaps illiterate to do so en masse.

Princess Toadstool/Peach.

When we all got released to the Princess, she was known as Princess Toadstool. I guess this made perfect sense -- Mario was set in the Mushroom Kingdom, so why wouldn't its monarch be named Princess Toadstool. Them inbreeding blue bloods are usually naming the children of theirs after the country.

No person seems to be sure precisely why they went the direction, though. In Japan, she was recognized as Princess Peach from day one. The title did not debut here until 1993, when Yoshi's Safari arrived on the scene for Super Nintendo. (By the way -- have you ever played Yoshi's Safari? In a bizarre twist it is a first-person shooter, the only person in the whole Mario the historical past. It is like the equivalent of a country music superstar putting out a weird rock album.)

Bowser.

In Japan, there's no Bowser. He's simply referred to as the King Koopa (or maybe comparable variants, like Great Demon King Koopa). So just where did Bowser come from?

During the import approach, there was an issue that the American masses wouldn't recognize how the little turtles and big bad man could certainly be called Koopa. So a marketing group developed a large number of options for a name, they loved Bowser the very best, and slapped it on him.

In Japan, he is nonetheless hardly ever called Bowser. Over here, the name of his is now so ubiquitous that he is even supplanted Sha Na Na's Bowzer as America's many prominent Bowser.

Donkey Kong.

This's a more literal interpretation than you think. "Kong" is based off of King Kong. "Donkey" is a family friendly means of calling him an ass. That is right: The name of his is an useful version of "Ass Ape."

#mario characters

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vampireadamooc · 7 years

Link

As Always: text is provided only in the event of access expiration or post deletions from the hosting site. Whenever possible, always read the article at the link provided.

Note: http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/15583075.Scotland__39_s_myths_and_legends__vampire_fairies__shape_shifting_Selkies__monsters_and_other_mysterious_creatures_of_the_deep/ Note 2: headline is cut off in the article itself.

Scottish myths and legends: vampire fairies, shape shifting selkies, the Loch Ness monster and other mysterious creatures of the d Karin Goodwin

Chilling, magical, bloodthirsty and beautiful by turn... it is argued that Scotland's myths and legends still help us make sense of our wild, weird and crazy world. As Halloween draws nearer we bring you the essential guide to a more mystical realm.

Watery monsters and other creatures of the deep

In a contest of the world's best known mythical monsters Nessie would be one colossus of a contender. Loch Ness's celebrity monster was first spotted in the 6th century by Irish monk Saint Columba, on his way to Inverness to visit the King of the Picts. Apparently he found the terrifying creature scaring the locals on the loch shore and, while making the sign of the cross, he successfully commanded it to return to the water.

http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/15583075.Scotland__39_s_myths_and_legends__vampire_fairies__shape_shifting_Selkies__monsters_and_other_mysterious_creatures_of_the_deep/

Sightings of the creature, supposedly lurking in the shadows of the 754-foot deep body of water, continued through the centuries, as Nessie morphed in the popular imagination from a sea serpent to aquatic dinosaur. In 1933 construction began on the loch side A82, with numerous glimpses reported and a grainy photograph of her head and neck rising above the surface of the water produced by RK Wilson in 1934. Since then many others claim to have captured her image but she's still never been found.

It's said Nessie's origins may lie in the ancient Scottish myth of the Kelpie, the loch-living water horse who tricked unsuspecting victims to mount him, only to find that the melancholy horse dramatically increased size and power,and its mane turn to serpents which wound themselves around their victim. The great beast, so the story goes, would then gallop back into the loch where riders met their watery deaths.

Beware too of the beautiful Selkies, shape-shifting seals found around Scotland's most northerly isles, who can slip off their soft seal skins to inhabit human form. Powerfully seductive Selkies capture human hearts, it's said, but the call of the sea is always greater than the lure of landlocked love. Tales tell of possessive Selkie lovers who have hidden their shed skins in a vain attempt to prolong their stay but often end up alone and broken hearted regardless.

Scottish tales of Merpeople also come in the form of the Blue Men of the Minch, who swim the stretch of water between the northern Outer Hebrides and mainland Scotland, looking for sailors to drown and stricken boats to sink.

Fairies, sprites and elves

Scottish fairies dance capriciously through many Scottish folk tales. Originally thought to be evil – take care not to fall asleep in a fairy circle, especially after sunset, if you want to live to tell the tale – ancient stories of little people have them stealing away babies and leaving a changeling in its place. Others are properly vicious. Baobhan Sith – or vampire fairies – devoured their male victims and ripped out their hearts. Yet treat the Sidhe (pronounced Shee) well and they would repay acts of kindness with good luck. Skye's Fairy Glen, with its almost supernaturally green, grassy knolls, is said to to be a favoured spot to find them.

Fairies, too, come it different shapes and forms according to legend. The Ghilli Dhu is a male faerie living deep in Scottish forests where distinctive birch trees grows. Living alone he camouflages himself in clothes of leaves and moss and only comes out at night.

This wild little tree sprite is kindness itself to children who find themselves lost in the woods – one story tells of how he found a little lost girl, Jessie Macrae, crying because night had fallen and she had lost her way and he led her to the edge of the wood and her home beside the loch.

Others tell of his wrath for older trespassers. In some versions the Ghilli Dhu has moved away from the forest and into the parks and gardens where he now performs the role of a Scottish tooth fairy.

The Brownie, meanwhile, is as good natured as other mythical little people are malevolent. The little brown elves, or household goblins, supposedly live in country houses across Scotland and do the household chores while people sleep, disappearing only if they are treated badly.

Vampires, werewolves and devils

Though Eastern Europe is considered the natural stomping ground of vampires Scotland was once a hotspot for gore. Glamis Castle (the childhood home of the late Queen Mother) has its very own blood suckers with one story claiming that within each generation of the family a vampire is born and hidden away in a secret room.

In another tale dating back hundreds of years ago a serving woman was said to have been caught leaning over a body and drinking the victim's blood. In this telling she was also walled-up alive in the castle.

The legends may be rooted in truth. Somewhere in the 16-foot-thick (4.9m) walls is the famous room of skulls, where the Ogilvie family, who in 1486 sought protection from their enemies the Lindsays, were walled up and died of starvation.

Not all Scottish vampire stories are ancient or concern the rural chattering classes. In 1954 a strange rumour did the rounds in the school playgrounds of the Gorbals in Glasgow about a man with iron teeth who had abducted and eaten two local young boys. One night in late September hundreds of children gathered at the Southern Necropolis, armed with whatever they could find and determined to track down and kill the Gorbals' Vampire.

Scottish werewolves were arguably less fierce, at least according to the tales of the Shetland Wulver, who took the form of man with a wolf's head and left fish on the windowsills of poor and hungry families. Covered in a layer of thick brown hair, unlike the werewolf, the Wulver was never human but, claimed the ancient Celts, a creature half way between man and wolf.

While there are plenty of tales of goddesses, often associated with nature, the devil also stalks our mythical landscape. In some stories he takes the form of Black Donald, a shape-shifting, terrifying beast.

Master of disguise he may be but there's truth in the myth that you can tell a lot about a man by what he wears on his feet. The devil's cloven feet cannot be shod. Steer clear.

Meet the Nessie Hunters

Adrian Shine saw his first monster when he was eight years old looking out to sea as he stood on a Norfolk beach with his family, who were holidaying there.

"We saw this fast moving line of dark humps," he said. "It was the first time I'd ever heard of a sea serpent. Only a day later we spoke to a local who told us it was just an illusion caused by birds flying in line, the common scooter to be precise."

It was then, he claims, that he first became aware of the controversy caused when scientists deny the existence of something that eye witnesses claim to have seen.

He became fascinated by the work of the Loch Ness Phenomena Investigation Bureau, which used RAF-surplus searchlights, massive telephoto lenses, a bright yellow mini-submarine, underwater sonar sweeps and gelignite charges in its search for the monster during the Sixties and early Seventies.

When he heard intriguing rumours of a small boat that had been attacked by a monster in Loch Morar he decided to check them out for himself and arrived in 1973, aged 24, and ready for adventure. Finding clear waters quite unlike the dark and peaty ones of Loch Ness he built a mini-sub the next year and dived under the depths to find hidden worlds full of plankton and fish.

He was hooked, moving to the shores of Loch Lomond in 1988 where he has made it his life's work, not to find a monster, but to make the loch's hidden world better understood. He describes himself not as a cynic but a "sympathetic sceptic". He puts down sightings to real-life phenomenon like boat wakes and birds but "I believe we do actually see something that conforms to our expectation, " he says. "It's not pure imagination."

Steve Feltham, meanwhile, sold his Dorset home in 1991 to fulfill his own Nessie-hunting boyhood dream– inspired by a family holiday to Loch Ness in the early Seventies – and has lived ever since in a ex-mobile library (which has neither running water or electricity) on Dores beach. Within the first year he had a possible sighting, lasting about 10 seconds, "of water splashing off the back of something", that he says defies explanation. He is still waiting for his second sighting.

Now he spends his days with his binoculars and camera to the ready, talking to tourists on the beach about their possible sightings and selling Nessie models he makes to fund his hunt. As the years roll on has become increasingly convinced that the monster sightings are actually glimpses of a small population of Wels catfish, introduced to the UK about 130 years ago, which can grow to five metres long.

"That would explain the peak in sightings," he says. "But it doesn't mean there couldn't be an alien or a dinosaur in that loch. There are still lots of possibilities."

He admits he's unlikely to give up the hunt. "I always wanted to try to solve one of the world's most enduring mysteries," he says. "And there is such joy in living the life that I always wanted to live."

Why we still love folk tales

Mythical stories in Scotland are like catechisms. Robert the Bruce? The spider taught him to try, try and try again. Sawney Bean? Lived in an Ayrshire cave (sometime between the 13th and 16th centuries according to which version you believe) with his incestuous cannibal clan and ate some 1000 local humans for tea. St Mungo? The patron saint of Glasgow managed to arrange the capture of the salmon that swallowed the ring of the 6th century Queen of Strathclyde Languoreth – thrown into the river by her young lover and returned to her before it could be missed by the king.

These folk tales run in our blood according to Donald Smith, director of the Scottish International Storytelling Festival. "People have been continuously passing on stories here for about five thousand years, and each new culture adds its ingredients to a fantastically rich brew," he says.

"Understanding our environment and experiences has always been the key. For example, stories of the Selkies or seal people brought comfort to those who lost loved ones at sea. Giant and dragon tales are often about the way the landscape is formed – by dramatic elemental forces. The ‘wee folk’ may reflect ancestors and perhaps gods and goddesses.

"We may interpret the world differently in modern times, but we still connect in the language of story."

Another storyteller, David Campbell, believes tales which survived in Scotland with the help of the travelling tradition of oral storytelling, hold an essence of ancient wisdom. Amongst his favourites are Ossian's tales of the warrier Fionn mac Cumhaill [or McCool] who has had some of our most famous geographical features attributed to him. Legend has it he built the Giant's Causeway as stepping-stones to Scotland, so as not to get his feet wet. Fingal's Cave is also named after him.

"The stories of Finn McCool can be traced back to the 8th century," says Campbell. "They carried a worth, sifted by time, that literary stories didn't have."

Fellow storyteller Daniel Allison explains it this way. "The landscape our stories portray isn't the one we see – it's the landscape of our psyches and dreams. These stories speak a deeper truth."

#Scottish Folklore #By Karin Goodwin #Selkies #vampire #fairies #sprites #elves #loch ness monster #werewolves #devils #folklore #tags preserved for commentary of OP

0 notes

lbcybersecurity · 7 years

Text

Network Security in the Cloud Age: Everything Changes

We’ve spent a lot of time discussing the disruptive impact of cloud and mobility on pretty much everything. If you need a reminder, you can check out the Inflection paper, which really defines how we (correctly) viewed these tectonic shifts in the computing landscape. And Rich is updating that research currently, so you can check out the first post as he discussed the trends that promise to upend everything we know about security Tidal Forces.

To quickly summarize, cloud computing and mobility disrupt the status quo by abstracting and automating huge portions of the technology infrastructure, basically replacing the corporate data center. You no longer stroll down to the wiring closet to troubleshoot a network problem because your employees are distributed throughout the world, using all sorts of devices to access your critical data. Your data center basically no longer exists because its been moved to some monstrous Infrastructure as a Service (IaaS) provider that offers far better economies and far faster service than your IT group ever could. The physical layer is totally abstracted and you interact with your network (and the rest of your technology stack) either through a web console or more likely an API.

Development and Operations organizations are now collaborating, which means as soon as a developer makes a change, it can be deployed instantly (after some automated testing) to the production environment. This continuous deployment model may require changes to the networks and certainly can introduce security issues. Yet, there isn’t really the ability to have someone scrutinize the changes or ensure all of the governance and security policies remain in place.

To further complicate things, you no longer run many applications on infrastructure you control. If you haven’t heard Software as a Service (SaaS) is a thing (we call it the new “back office”), and you don’t get to tell the SaaS provider what the network should look like. You connect to their service over the Internet and that’s that. You no longer know where your data is, nor do you have the ability to monitor the traffic flows to detect misuse.

To be a little more clear about the impact to networking in the cloud age, let’s highlight the impacts:

Your data is everywhere (and nowhere): Whether it’s an application you’ve built (and running in an IaaS environment) or an application that you buy (provided by a SaaS player), the commonality is that you have no idea where you data is and have limited means to protect it within the network.

Lack of visibility: You can’t tap an IaaS or SaaS environment, so you don’t have visibility over what’s happening on your network. Some cloud providers are increasingly offering access to greater levels of network telemetry, but accessing the packets kind of breaks the agility and elasticity of the cloud.

Bottlenecks don’t make sense: One way to get around the lack of visibility is to route all traffic through an inspection point and enforce your security policies there. Unfortunately most cloud-native architectures don’t support that approach given the inherent isolation between computing tiers and an increasingly serverless approach. The last thing you want to do is make the cloud look kind of like your existing environment, so traditional bottlenecks won’t survive the disruption.

App-specific infrastructure: Finally, you don’t just have one network to worry about. You may have hundreds, since every IaaS stack is a different network. Every SaaS service that you buy has a different network. With no consistency and really their shouldn’t be since you want to build the appropriate network for the application, not force fit a sub-optimal network because it’s the lowest common denominator.

Velocity of change is unprecedented: With continuous deployment, changes to the network need to happen in lock step with the application and operational changes. That means the work queue that your network and security ops folks work through goes the way of the DoDo bird. There just isn’t time for the traditional way of managing and securing the network and your existing staff cannot keep pace in this kind of environment.

So basically the Tidal Forces of the cloud are upending almost everything you know about security. And those that can’t get their arms around this and try to apply the old models will fail.

Focusing on the Right Things

Before you reach for the hemlock, let’s take a step back and remember what we (as network security professionals) need to do:

Connectivity: The network needs to provide access to the resources (either applications or data) from wherever in the world they reside, whenever they need access, on whatever device they happen to be using. Within policy constraints of course, but IT can no longer dictate access.

Availability: The network needs to be reliable and survivable to ensure uptime requirements for the application are met. It’s a bad day when business stops because of a network problem, and a worse day when it’s a security issue taking the network down.

Performance: There are lots of potential points to slow down an application. But the expectation is that the network is not one of them, especially during peak usage. In the old days, you needed to build for those times of peak usage. But you got no credit the other 99% of the time you had all of this network infrastructure built out.

Security: Last, but not least you better not have any kind of security issues that originate from the network. And in fact, the expectation is that you can detect attacks using the network. So you need to make sure the network is secure (and the reason for a successful attack).

In each of these critical imperatives, the cloud actually improves things. But not if you think you’ll do the same old, same old, running all of your traffic through a small set of ingress and egress points to ensure you can inspect the traffic through your security devices.

In terms of focusing on the right things, if you can provide connectivity, availability, performance and security within the tolerances required by the applications, does it matter what the network architecture looks like? We’re sure some purists would say yes, but there were similar purists hanging onto the SNA protocol for years. They couldn’t make the necessary changes and went the way of the dinosaurs. So success moving forward is really about making sure you can provide the services your organizations needs, while keeping pace with the velocity of change in the cloud age.

Everything changes. Including network security. So let’s map out what that means to you and your network security controls.

Network Security in the Cloud Age

Given the critical imperatives defined above, we need to rethink how we do network security. The old stuff just doesn’t work and we can’t afford to compromise on the power of the cloud just to salvage our traditional security models. So let’s set some design goals for this new fangled cloud-based network:

Secure Network Everywhere: Traditionally when you wanted to enforce security controls, you would backhaul traffic behind your corporate perimeter and inspect the traffic using the same equipment (and policies) in use on your internal network. That doesn’t scale. So let’s flip the perspective and not think in terms of moving the traffic to the security controls, rather let’s extend the secure network controls to the location, user or device.

Infinite Perimeters: You can’t dictate the devices or location or access, so you need to think about how to build a perimeter around each device. So basically the device is the network, which means you need to securely interconnect the networks. In traditional networks you would set up tunnels between each location/network, but that’s a N*N-1 problem and N could be millions. The network architecture needs to evolve to protect every device where it is, doing whatever it is doing providing _secure mesh_ between all of these devices.

Elasticity: The demand for bandwidth is insatiable. So you need a secure network design that can scale with your requirements. Yet, building for peak usage isn’t efficient, so you’ll want to be able contract when you don’t need as many pipes. Basically you want only as much network as you need at that moment in time. Especially since you pay based on usage.

Policy Driven: You have different security requirements for the ingress and egress networks. Ingress provides access to computing resources and therefore must focus on protecting the data. Egress protects users in how they access resources outside of the organization. These different policies must be supported on whatever the network looks like, and the policies need to be able to change at the speed of continuous deployment. Which means that…

Automation Wins: Things change in an instant in cloud-land. Given there is no time to have a human make changes, your environment must be automated. But you have to trust the automation and be able to roll back changes when necessary. That means you’ll need to program your networks, like you program everything else. Yes, that means software-defined networks will happen. We’ll dig into this extensively later in the series.

Design goals are great, but what does that mean specifically for what you need to build and how can you build it? We’ll dig into the requirements and solution architecture in the next post.

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