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gothhabiba · 5 months

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loving your falafel research saga and just wanted to ask - something I remember hearing about falafel is that while Israeli culture definitely appropriated it, the concept of serving it in pita bread with salads, tahini etc. is a specifically Israeli twist on the dish. I wonder if you found/know anything about that?

The short answer is: it's not impossible, but I don't think there's any way to tell for sure. The long answer is:

The most prominent claim I've heard of this nature is specifically that Yemeni Jews (who had immigrated to Israel under 'right of return' laws and were Israeli citizens) invented the concept of serving falafel in "pita" bread in the 1930s—perhaps after they (in addition to Jews from Morocco or Syria) had brought falafel over and introduced it to Palestinians in the first place.

"Mizrahim brought falafel to Palestine"

This latter claim, which is purely nonsense (again... no such thing as Moroccan falafel!)—and which Joel Denker (linked above) repeats with no source or evidence—was able to arise because it was often Mizrahim who introduced Israelis to Palestinian food. Mizrahi falafel sellers in the early 20th century might run licensed falafel stands, or carry tins full of hot falafel on their backs and go from door to door selling them (see Shaul Stampfer on a Yemeni man doing this, "Bagel and Falafel: Two Iconic Jewish Foods and One Modern Jewish Identity," in Jews and their Foodways, p. 183; this Arabic source mentions a 1985 Arabic novel in which a falafel seller uses such a tin; Yael Raviv writes that "Running falafel stands had been popular with Yemenite immigrants to Palestine as early as the 1920s and ’30s," "Falafel: A National Icon," Gastronomica 3.3 (2003), p. 22).

On Mizrahi preparation of Palestinian food, Dafna Hirsch writes:

As Sami Zubaida notes, Middle Eastern foodways, while far from homogeneous, are nevertheless describable in a vocabulary and set of idioms that are “often comprehensible, if not familiar, to the socially diverse parties” [...]. Thus, for the Jews who arrived in Palestine from the Middle East, Palestinian Arab foods and foodways were “comprehensible, if not familiar,” even if some of the dishes were previously unknown to most of them. [...] They found nothing extraordinary or exotic in the consumption, preparation, and selling of foods from the Palestinian Arab kitchen. Therefore, it was often Mizrahi Jews who mediated local foods to Ashkenazi consumers, as street food vendors and restaurant owners. ("Urban Food Venues as Contact Zones between Arabs and Jews during the British Mandate Period," in Making Levantine Cuisine: Modern Foodways of the Eastern Mediterranean, p. 101).

Raviv concurs and furnishes a possible mechanism for this borrowing:

Other Mizrahi Jewish vendors sold falafel, which by the late 1930s had become quite prevalent and popular on the streets of Tel Aviv. [...] Tel Aviv had eight licensed Mizrahi falafel vendors by 1941 and others who sold falafel without a license. [FN: The Tel Aviv municipality granted vending license to people who could not make their living in any other way as a form of welfare.] Many of the vendors were of Yemenite origins, although falafel was unknown in Yemen. [FN: Many of the immigrants from Yemen arrived in Palestine via Egypt, so it is possible that they learned to prepare it there and then adjusted the recipe to the Palestinian version, which was made from chickpeas and not from fava beans (ṭaʿmiya). Shmuel Yefet, an Israeli falafel maker, tells about his father, Yosef Ben Aharon Yefet, who arrived in Palestine from Aden [Yemen] in the early 1920s and then traveled to Port Said in 1939. There he became acquainted with ṭaʿmiya, learned to prepare it, and then went back to Palestine and opened a falafel shop in Tel Aviv [youtube video].]*

But why claim that Yemeni Jews invented falafel (or at least that they had introduced it from Yemen), even though its adoption from Palestinian Arabs in the early days of the second Aliya, aka the 1920s (before Mizrahim had begun to immigrate in larger numbers; see Raviv, p. 20) was within living memory at this point (i.e. the 1950s)? Raviv notes that an increasing (I mean, actually she says new, which... lol) negative attitude towards Arabs in the wake of the Nakba (I mean... she says "War of Independence") created a new sense of urgency around de-Arabizing "Israeli" culture (p. 22). Its association with Mizrahi sellers allowed falafel to "be linked to Jewish immigrants who had come from the Middle East and Africa" and thus to "shed its Arab association in favor of an overarching Israeli identification" (p. 21).

Stampfer again:

On the one hand (with regard to immigrants from Eastern Europe), [falafel] underscored the break between immediate past East European Jewish foods and the new “Oriental” world of Eretz Israel.** At the same time, this food could be seen as a link with an (idealized) past. Among the Jewish public in Eretz Israel, Yemenite falafel was regarded as the most original and tastiest version. This is a bit odd, as falafel—whether in or out of a pita—was not a traditional Yemenite food, neither among Muslims nor among Jews. To understand the ascription of falafel to Yemenite Jews, it is necessary to consider their image. Yemenite Jews were widely regarded in the mid-20th century as the most faithful transmitters of a form of Jewish life that was closest to the biblical world—and if not the biblical world, at least the world of the Second Temple, which marked the last period of autonomous Jewish life in Eretz Israel. In this sense, eating “Yemenite” could be regarded as an act of bodily identification with the Zionist claim to the land of Israel. (p. 189)

So, when it's undeniable that a food is "Arab" or "Oriental" in origin, Zionists will often attribute it to Yemen, Syria, Morocco, Turkey, &c.—and especially to Jewish communities within these regions—because it cannot be permitted that Palestinians have a specific culture that differentiates them in any way from other "Arabs." A culinary culture based in the foodstuffs cultivated from this particular area of land would mean a tie and a claim to the land, which Zionist logic cannot allow Palestinians to possess. This is why you'll hear Zionists correct people who say "Palestinians" to say "Arab" instead, or suggest that Palestinians should just scooch over into other "Arab" countries because it would make no difference to them. Raviv's conclusion that the attribution of falafel to Yemeni immigrants is an effort to detach it from its "Arab" origins isn't quite right—it is an attempt to detach it, and thus Palestinians themselves, from Palestinian roots.

"Yemeni Jews first put falafel in 'pita'"

As for this claim, it's often attributed to Gil Marks: "Jews didn’t invent falafel. They didn’t invent hummus. They didn’t invent pita. But what they did invent was the sandwich. Putting it all together.” (Hilariously, the author of the interview follows this up with "With each story, I wanted to ask, but how do you know that?")

Another author (signed "Philologos") speculates (after, by the way, falsely claiming that "falafel" is the plural of the Arabic "filfil" "pepper," and that falafel is always brown, not green, inside?!):

Yet while falafel balls are undoubtedly Arab in origin, too, it may well be that the idea of serving them as a street-corner food in pita bread, to which all kinds of extras can be added, ranging from sour pickles to whole salads, initially was a product of Jewish entrepreneurship.

Shaul Stampfer cites both of these articles as further reading on the "novelty of the combination of pita, falafel balls, and salad" (FN 76, p. 198)—but neither of them cites any evidence! They're both just some guy saying something!

Marks had, however, elaborated a little bit in his 2010 Encyclopedia of Jewish Food:

Falafel was enjoyed in salads as part of a mezze (appetizer assortment) or as a snack by itself. An early Middle Eastern fast food, falafel was commonly sold wrapped in paper, but not served in the familiar pita sandwich until Yemenites in Israel introduced the concept. [...] Yemenite immigrants in Israel, who had made a chickpea version in Yemen, took up falafel making as a business and transformed this ancient treat into the Israeli iconic national food. Most importantly, Israelis wanted a portable fast food and began eating the falafel tucked into a pita topped with the ubiquitous Israeli salad (cucumber-and-tomato salad).

He references one of the pieces that Lillian Cornfeld (columnist for the English-language, Jerusalem-based newspaper Palestine Post) wrote about "filafel":

An article from October 19, 1939 concluded with a description of the common preparation style of the most popular street food, 'There is first half a pita (Arab loaf), slit open and filled with five filafels, a few fried chips and sometimes even a little salad,' the first written record of serving falafel in pita. [Marks doesn't tell you the title or page—it's "Seaside Temptations: Juveniles' Fare at Tel Aviv," p. 4.]

You will first of all notice that Marks gives us the "falafel from Yemen" story. I also notice that he calls Salat al-bundura "Israeli salad" (in its entry he does not claim that European Jewish immigrants invented it, but neither does he attribute it to Palestinian influence: the dish was originally "Turkish coban salatsi"). His encyclopedia also elsewhere contains Zionist claims such as "wild za'atar was declared a protected plant in Israel" "[d]ue to overexploitation" because of how much of the plant "Arab families consume[d]," and that Israeli cultivation of the crop yielded "superior" plants (entry for "Za'atar")—a narrative of "Arab" mismanagement, and Israeli improvement, of land used to justify settler-colonialism. He writes that Palestinians who accuse "the Jews" of theft in claiming falafel are "creat[ing] a controversy" and that "food and culture cannot be stolen," with no reflection on the context of settler-colonialism and literal, physical theft that lies behind said "controversy." This isn't relevant except that it makes me sceptical of Marks's motivations in general.

More pertinent is the fact that this quote doesn't actually suggest that this falafel vendor was Yemeni (or otherwise) Jewish, nor does it suggest that he was the first one to prepare falafel in pitas with "fried chips," "sometimes even a little salad," and "Tehina, a local mayonnaise made with sesame oil" (Cornfeld, p. 4). I think it likely that this food had been sold for a while before it was described in published writing. The idea that this preparation is "Israeli" in origin must be false, since this was before the state of "Israel" existed—that it was first created by Yemeni Jewish falafel vendors is possible, but again, I've never seen any direct evidence for it, or anyone giving a clear reason for why they believe it to be the case, and the political reasons that people have for believing this narrative make me wary of it. There were Palestinian Arab falafel vendors at this time as well.

"Chickpea falafel is a Jewish invention"

There is also a claim that falafel originated in Egypt, where it was made with fava beans; spread to the Levant, including Palestine, where it was made with a combination of fava beans and chickpeas; but that Jewish immigration to Israel caused the origin of the chickpea-only falafal currently eaten in Palestine, because a lot of Jewish people have G6PD deficiencies or favism (inherited enzymatic deficiencies making fava beans anywhere from unpleasant to dangerous to eat)—or that Jewish populations in Yemen had already been making chickpea-only falafel, and this was the falafel which they brought with them to Palestine.

As far as I can tell, this claim comes from Joan Nathan's 2001 The Foods of Israel:

Zadok explained that at the time of the establishment of the state, falafel—the name of which probably comes from the word pilpel (pepper)—was made in two ways: either as it is in Egypt today, from crushed, soaked fava beans or fava beans combined with chickpeas, spices, and bulgur; or, as Yemenite Jews and the Arabs of Jerusalem did, from chickpeas alone. But favism, an inherited enzymatic deficiency occurring among some Jews—mainly those of Kurdish and Iraqi ancestry, many of whom came to Israel during the mid 1900s—proved potentially lethal, so all falafel makers in Israel ultimately stopped using fava beans, and chickpea falafel became an Israeli dish.

Gil Marks's 2010 Encyclopedia of Jewish Food echoes (but does not cite):

Middle Eastern Jews have been eating falafel for centuries, the pareve fritter being ideal in a kosher diet. However, many Jews inherited G6PD deficiency or its more severe form, favism; these hereditary enzymatic deficiencies are triggered by items like fava beans and can prove fatal. Accordingly, Middle Eastern Jews overwhelmingly favored chickpeas solo in their falafel. (Entry for "Falafel")

The "centuries" thing is consistent with the fact that Marks believes falafel to be of Medieval origin, a claim which most scholars I've read on the subject don't believe (no documentary evidence, + oil was expensive so it seems unlikely that people were deep frying anything). And, again, this claim is speculation with no documentary evidence to support it.

As for the specific modern toppings including the Yemeni hot sauce سَحاوِق / סְחוּג (saHawiq / "zhug"), Baghdadi mango pickle عنبة / עמבה ('anba), and Moroccan هريسة / חריסה ("harissa"), it seems likely that these were introduced by Mizrahim given their place of origin.

*You might be interested to know that, despite their Jewishness mediating this borrowing, Mizrahim were during the Mandate years largely ethnically segregated from Eastern European Zionists, who were pushing to create a "new" European-Israeli Judaism separate from what they viewed as the indolence and ignorance of "Oriental" Jewishness (Hirsch p. 101).

This was evidenced in part by Europeans' attitudes towards the "Oriental" diet. Ari Ariel, summarizing Yael Raviv's Falafel Nation, writes:

Although all immigrants were thought to require culinary education as an aspect of their absorption into the new national culture, Middle Eastern Jews, who began to immigrate in increasing numbers after 1948, provoked greater anxiety on the part of the state than did their Ashkenazi co-religionists. Israeli politicians and ideologues spoke of the dangers of Levantization and stereotyped Jews from the Middle East and North Africa as primitive, lazy, and ignorant. In keeping with this Orientalism, the state pressured Middle Easterners to change their foodways and organized cooking demonstrations in transit camps and new housing developments. (Book review, Israel Studies Review 31.2 (2016), p. 169.)

See also Esther Meir-Glitzenstein, "Longing for the Aromas of Baghdad: Food, Emigration, and Transformation in the Lives of Iraqi Jews in Israel in the 1950s," in Jews and their Foodways:

[...] [T]he Israeli establishment was set on “educating” the new immigrants not only in matters of health and hygiene, [77] but also in the realm of nutrition. A concerted propaganda effort was launched by well-baby clinics, kindergartens, schools, health clinics, and various organizations such as the Women’s International Zionist Organization (WIZO) and the Organization of Working Mothers in order to promote the consumption of milk and dairy products, in particular. [78] (These had a marginal place in Iraqi cuisine, consumed mainly by children.) Arab and North African cuisines were criticized for being not sufficiently nutritious, whereas the Israeli diet was touted as ideal, as it was western and modern. […] [T]he assault on traditional Middle Eastern cuisines reflected cultural arrogance yet another attempt to transform immigrants into “new Jews” in accordance with the Zionist ethos. Thus, European table manners were presented as the norm. Eating with the hands was equated with primitive behavior, and use of a fork and knife became the hallmark of modernity and progress. (pp. 100-101)

[77. On health matters, see Davidovich and Shvarts, “Health and Hegemony,” 150–179; Sahlav Stoller-Liss, “ ‘Mothers Birth the Nation’: The Social Construction of Zionist Motherhood in Wartime in Israeli Parents’ Manuals,” Nashim 6 (Fall 2003), 104–118.]

[78. On propaganda for drinking milk and eating dairy products, see Mor Dvorkin, “Mif’alei hahazanah haḥinukhit bishnot ha’aliyah hagedolah: mekorot umeafyenim” (seminar paper, Ben-Gurion University, 2010).]

**On the desire to shed "old, European" "Jewish" identity and take on a "new, Oriental" "Hebrew" one, and the contradictory impulses to use Palestinian Arabs as models in this endeavour and to claim that they needed to be "corrected," see:

Itamar Even-Zohar, "The Emergence of a Native Hebrew Culture in Palestine, 1882—1948"

Dafna Hirsch, "We Are Here to Bring the West, Not Only to Ourselves": Zionist Occidentalism and the Discourse of Hygiene in Mandate Palestine"

Ofra Tene, "'The New Immigrant Must Not Only Learn, He Must Also Forget': The Making of Eretz Israeli Ashkenazi Cuisine."

#sorry for this but you should've known better than to ask me about falafel at this stage in my life #falafel research saga

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unbidden-yidden · 2 months

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Jewish Song of the Day #56: Adon Olam

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Guys guys guys you have no idea how excited I am about the fact that this album is now out!!!

I first saw this teaser at the beginning of March and was so stoked that it would be coming out soon and now it's HERE!

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About Kedmah:

Kedmah is an ensemble of musicians and prayer leaders excavating the power and beauty of Mizrahi Jewish expression through ancient poetry and song. Their debut album, Simu Lev, is currently in production, and this video of “Adon Olam” is the first glimpse of the project.

Led by Rabbi Yosef Goldman and Yoni Avi Battat, Kedmah honors the artists’ Iraqi, Syrian, and Yemenite ancestry in conversation with their intersecting musical influences. Their interactive performances, workshops, and recordings allow listeners to experience the spiritual and emotional depth of Middle Eastern piyyut (liturgical poetry) and the ages-old tradition of Arab melodies that adorn them. Part educational initiative, part performance group, the social and pedagogical impact of this project is strengthened by a commitment to musical creativity, historical accuracy, spirituality, and public performance at the highest level.

I hope you enjoy — I know I am!!

Edit: it seems I jumped the gun, just a bit. They have a few songs out, but the full album comes out April 9th. Get excited!!

#jumblr #jewish music #Jewish Song of the Day #if you can't tell from the number of exclamation marks #I am so so excited to share this one #Mizrahi music done in a traditional egalitarian space?#SO here for it

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captainmalewriter · 1 year

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You Will Possess Me

"Alright, that should be the last of it."

Yosef was sealing the lid on a Mason jar after he completed a house visit. He used his strength to seal the jar as tight as he could. Inside the jar was a mass of blue slime, and although it could glow in the dark, it didn't move while it was trapped.

"You should be good to go now," Yosef said to his client while he set the jar aside. His client was laid out naked on his bed, breathing heavily and face flushed.

"Thank you...... So much..... You're..... Lifesaver...." the naked man said in between exhales. He then extended his arm to give Yosef a handshake. Although Yosef was glad to be able to help another possessed person escape their ghost, he was repulsed by this gesture and turned it down.

"I'm not touching that until you shower with hot water. God knows what you got up to last night..."

After exchanging goodbyes, Yosef helped himself out the door. He walked to his car with the jar in hand. Yosef opened the passenger door and tucked the jar into the seat with a safety belt on. He then pulled out a beer and proceeded to chug it down in one smooth motion. Afterwards he threw the can down the street and let out a loud burp. Yosef sniffed his breath and groaned.

"When did I have Taco Bell? Weird..."

While Yosef downed that beer, the slime inside the jar began to glow a faint blue light. It caught Yosef's attention, and he rolled his eyes at the sight of it.

"What's the matter? You want this?" Yosef then teased the slime by showing it his exposed body.

This caused the slime to glow brightly. Yosef grinned.

"Yeah? You like that? WELL TOO FUCKING BAD!"

Yosef grabbed the jar and shook it violently until the slime stopped glowing. Once it did, Yosef put it back into the passenger seat.

"Disgusting. Selfish little rat."

He then hopped into the driver's seat and began the long car ride back home, where he would be hosting someone for a hook up later that night.

Yosef had gone to the next city after getting a call from a client requesting a house visit. He originally planned to turn down the request, but with rent due in a few days, Yosef couldn't afford to be picky with his work. Although Yosef was technically unemployed in a legal sense, he had under the table work that kept him afloat. The unofficial nature of his job was because he was an exorcist by trade. Ever since Yosef was a child, he had the extraordinary ability to see the spirits of the deceased.

And he hated it. He used to start every day with cursing God for giving him his gift.

Having a superpower was nothing like comic books or cartoons on TV portrayed it to be. So far as Yosef knew, he was the only one with this ability. Meaning he had to suffer the psychological damage of interacting with the undead by himself. Even his own family didn't believe him until they found Yosef unconscious after a particularly fatal encounter. Only then did his parents finally move away from their house next to the cemetery. The paranormal encounters never stopped, however, but luckily Yosef grew apathetic towards ghosts as he grew up. Now he viewed ghosts the same way he did cockroaches. They were pests, and he was their exterminator. He was grateful to help get rid of all the evil ghosts that did nothing but possess people for their own selfish needs, but ghosts still irked him to his core...

The slimy ghost kept glowing within its confinement as Yosef drove down the highway. He groaned everytime it made too much noise and flicked the jar to get it to shut up. Normally ghosts were much more docile once they were captured, but the blue one Yosef had caught that night was particularly feisty. While Yosef tried his best to just ignore it, it was starting to get on his last nerve with how fidgety it was.

While Yosef was driving, he had received a text from the guy he was planning to fuck once he got home. The bluetooth on his car read the 5 word text out loud for him.

Can't make it anymore, sorry.

Yosef heard the text, then immediately began to pull over to the side of the road. He took in a sharp breath, then exhaled. He then yelled at the top of his lungs while slamming on the dashboard.

"Fuck man! I've been waiting 7 whole days for this and this fucker just blows me off!? What the fuck!!"

As Yosef was breathing heavily out of frustration, he could see the ghost was still flickering its light out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head slightly to watch the slime's glow for a second. Then, his eyes widened when an idea hit him.

"Alright alright fine! You want a body that badly then you're gonna help me jerk off!!"

Yosef proceeded to roll up the windows to cut off the air circulation then turned off his car. He opened the glove box and pulled out a handbag he had stored in there. He then threw both the bag and the Mason jar to the backseats, then slid to the backseat himself.

Yosef stripped down until his body was fully nude. Between his Persian genetics and having never touched a razor blade, Yosef's body was covered in bushy hair. He snuggled into the seat. The leather felt seats always felt good against his bare ass. The musky scent of his hairy pits hit him right away. He purposefully hadn't showered in the past two days to preserve his natural smell. But now that his hook up had canceled on him, Yosef was free to take in his musk for himself.

He took several whiffs of his pit stink as he began stroking his cock. The smell of his own sweaty pheromones filled his nose with delight with every inhale. His dick had hardened to its full length within minutes. He let his boner hang out while he grabbed his hand bag. Yosef opened it up and pulled out cock rings of various sizes. He looked them over, then picked a ring that was just right in size. He lathered it up with lube, gave his cock a couple more pumps to make sure it was rock hard, then slid it down his shaft until it sat firmly around the base of his member.

"Oh yeah, that's good..." Yosef said with baited breath. He then continued to jerk off in the backseat of his car. The cock ring made his dick throb as he kept stroking it. His veins were bulging, his curly pubes were moist from precum, his face was flushed with sweat. Yosef was having the time of his life after not having busted a nut in over a week.

The whole time Yosef was jerking off, the slime ghost was watching him from within its glass jar. The ghost was shining the brightest as it watched. It had begun to slam itself against the walls of the jar too. It was becoming feral.

The noise distracted Yosef from climaxing. Luckily that worked in his favor, as it helped remind him not to cum yet. He slowed down his strokes. He turned to look at the ghost and smirked at it.

"Alright, you're up!"

Yosef reached out to the jar. He carefully unscrewed the lid but held it closed with his hand. He positioned it over his dick and lowered it down slowly. Once it was hovering right over the tip of his dick, he quickly took off the lid and shoved his dick into the jar. The ghost immediately jumped at the chance of freedom. It expanded its form and began to invade Yosef through the slit of his dick.

"Oh fuckk!!!"

Yosef threw his head back in pleasure as he felt the ghost possess him. He could his throbbing member fill up with the ghost's presence as the seconds passed by. The ghost did not hold back from entering his body as quickly as it could. But what it didn't know was that Yosef was still in full control of the situation. Because of the tight cock ring, the ghost couldn't invade the rest of Yosef's body. It was stuck inside of his dick, causing it to blow up in both size and girth due to the ghostly presence inside of his shaft.

"Fuck yeahhh man, I'm fucking hung now, holy shit!!" Yosef shouted as he took hold of his new engorged cock. He began stroking it again, but this time with both hands. His moans became louder. The sensitivity of his groin became more sensitive while under partial possession, making his pleasure increased tenfold.

The ghost was in pure agony. It was getting thrashed as Yosef kept jerking off with it trapped inside his dick. Yosef was stroking himself off with a firm grip and a fast pace. The ghost couldn't take it, it had to leave no matter what! But as its ghostly tail began to leak out Yosef's dick, he grabbed onto it with an iron grip.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going? You're not done till I say you're done!"

Yosef then yanked the ghost out of his dick. He held it close to his face and then spit a massive ball of spit at it. He then threw it to the floor of his car and stomped on it. Yosef could feel the ghost struggling desperately to escape, but his foot held it down in place. The ghost was forced to endure both the weight Yosef was holding it down along with the rank smell of his sweaty feet too.

Yosef reached back into his handbag. He pulled out a velvet felt string this time. He then tied the string around his ankle. Once it was tied nice and tight, Yosef proceeded to rub his foot into the ghost, forcing it to possess his foot. Desperate to escape the stench of his feet, the ghost willingly possessed his foot. But because of the string, the ghost was once again trapped inside only one part of Yosef's body. Yosef moaned like crazy as he felt the cold sensations of getting possessed spread around his feet. He still had the same cool pleasure in his dick too, and he knew he needed to capitalize on it before it was gone.

"Whewww fuck! You know how to please your master huh, now let's see how you taste..."

Yosef brought his possessed foot up to his face. He leaned in and planted his face into the palm of his foot. He then took a deep inhale of his foot odor. The combined scent of sweaty manly musk with socks that had been worn all day drove him crazy horny.

While keeping one hand on his foot, Yosef used his other hand to reach down to his dick and gather up a good handful of precum. He slathered up his foot with precum, then proceeded to lick it clean. Yosef licked between and around his toes, while occasionally sucking on his big toe. He could feel the hair on his tongue, but he ignored it as he enjoyed the smell and taste of his foot. The taste of his own cum and the ectoplasm the ghost left on his foot after possessing it reminded Yosef of a sweet, tangy, fruity taste. It was delicious, and left him hungry for more.

Suppressed moans escaped Yosef's mouth while he continued licking his foot clean. Yosef was having the time of his life. What made it even hotter to him was the knowledge that the ghost was under his control. The ghost could only possess what he let it possess, and even then, it had no choice but to submit his sexual desires, no matter how dirty or smelly they were.

Yosef groaned. His cock was bulging, ready to burst with cum. Once he was satisfied licking his foot, Yosef used the string to force the ghost out of him again. He pushed the string down his foot, causing the ghost to leak out. It tried to escape again, but it couldn't escape Yosef's swift handiwork. He grabbed it, then molded it into a fleshlight shape.

Yosef then held it over his dick and proceeded to fuck the shit out of it. The sounds of Yosef's moans and his low hanging balls slapping against the ghost filled his car. Wanting to escape getting fucked, the ghost decided to possess Yosef through his dick again. Unfortunately, in its moment of distress, the ghost had forgotten Yosef had a cock ring on. It was once again trapped inside of Yosef's cock.

A grin spread across Yosef's face. The ghost kept falling into his little trap, forcing it to be his sex toy. That feeling of dominance added to his pleasure.

Then, after an hour of masturbating, Yosef finally climaxed. He let out a bellowing moan as heavy loads began spurting out of him. Load after load of warm spunk mixed with ghostly ectoplasm shot out of his cock like a fire hose while he was left gasping after every load. The bodily sensations of edging an orgasm and getting possessed made the sexual warmness spread all around his body. Within a minute, both his car and his body were drenched in body and paranormal fluids. Yosef was left panting for breath and his face was blush red after an intense climax.

The ghost got shot out of Yosef's dick along with the stream of cum. It was horrified of Yosef. As Yosef was catching his breath, the ghost began to disappear, ready to pass onto the next life. But just before it could, Yosef caught it with the Mason jar.

"Oh, you're not going anywhere!" Yosef stared into the jar with a twinkle in his eyes. It was then that shift in his mindset had occurred. He was so used to just exorcizing ghosts, getting paid, then just moving on with his life. But after using a ghost for his own desires, something clicked inside of Yosef. Something that made him smile.

"You're mine, forever and always..." Yosef smiled, glaring down at the captured ghost, while the ghost whimpered in defeat. The predator had become the prey.

#male possession #ghost possession #male body possession #hairy man #hairy #musk #feet #smell #ghost tf

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baesimss · 10 months

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meet miracle andrews & her fiance yosef taylor.

yosef, a charming southern gentleman, has always desired a life outside of chestnut ridge and managing the family ranch. which is why he went to law school and leaped at the opportunity when the firm asked him to go to san sequoia for a 6 month temporary assignment. he was only looking for someone to keep him busy in the city when he signed up on the simda dating app... he had no clue that he'd end up meeting his soulmate and proposing to her within 5 months. though she was born & raised in san sequoia, miracle, a budding news anchor, has always felt like she was meant to be a southern belle. despite having never spent time around any animals, aside from her cat aurora, nor has she spent time on any farm. still, the thought of a peaceful southern life (with hot weather, iced tea, and politely veiled shade thrown towards the neighbors) has always sounded like a dream to her. so, it's no wonder that she was smitten the minute she stumbled upon yosef on simda--her real life cowboy prince charming! following their engagement, miracle immediately planned a "disco cowgirl", or as she likes to call it "champagne cowgirl", themed bachelorette weekend. she assumed the weekend was the closest she'd ever get to being an actual cowgirl.

but, just as yosef and miracle are planning for their future together, and even visiting open houses in san sequoia, yosef gets a devastating call that his mother's health is declining. he needs to return to chestnut ridge to be there for his family. & miracle is coming along! determined to be there for her fiance in his time of need, and excited for the opportunity to meet his family and experience the southern belle lifestyle. but is this champagne-taste city girl truly ready for life at the ranch?

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#baesimss #📁: simmisota #sims household #📁: taylor #black simblr #black simmer #simblr #showusyoursims #s4 wedding #s4 poses #ts4 bachelorette #ts4 poses #ts4 simblr #ts4 mm #ts4 horse ranch #chestnut ridge #baesimss sim intros

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thatsthewrongwallcraig · 10 months

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so, i read a smut of yours and i was sure you were the right person for what i wanted, in my mind it happens with kappa but as long as it's a rory character i don't mind if you change it. i wanted a rebel sub reader, who fights back, resists and hurts him like he hurts her and spits in his face, which makes him fuck her even harder and more brutally, at the end you can add a aftercare, it would be really sweet to see she melting in his arms after so much resistance

Filthy Animals

Summary: There's nothing to see here, just two doms fighting for the upper hand, please walk on…

Pairing: Kappa x fem!Reader

Word Count: ~1k

Content Warnings: Unhinged Smut 18+!, We Take A Full Dive Into It Right After The Cut, A LOT Of Swearing, Kappa And Reader Being Two Crackheads In The Sheets, Scratching, Biting, Spitting, Slapping, You Name It, Unprotected P In V, Slight Daddy Kink, A Rather One-Sided Orgasm But That's Okay, Implied Aftercare, Implied Consensual Cutting

A/N: I have been evil cackling at this request since I saw it in my inbox, tbh 👀

Tagging the horny horde:

@crypticsewerslut @quicksilversg1rl @alalalaaallaaalaaa @icarus-star @milsthouqhts @roryculkinsbf @roryculkinsgf @spookyorchid @arch1viste @whoareyoi @angelsanarchy @b4sementgrl

Want you tied up in my bed

With my name carved deep into your chest

Harmless games went to my head

Now I want you breathing down my neck

- Animal By Jim Yosef, RIELL

"Why do you have to be such a fucking bitch about it right now?" Kappa's low voice groaned against the shell of your ear in a menacing tone as he pulled both of your knees over his shoulders right before shoving the full length of his cock into your oozing wet cunt.

"Oh, fuck you, asshole!" You pressed between clenched jaws, feeling how he drilled himself into you rather unceremoniously, "Who was that stupid twat talking to you in the hall, huh?!"

"I told you already, fucking hell! Absolutely no one.", Kappa hissed, his hot breath hitting against your cheek, "She's new to the group and asked for my help, that's that."

"Uh-huh, yeah, sure. That's why that blond-haired barbie whore was all flirty hair twirling with you, right?" With a certain degree of malicious intent you dug your nails into the skin of his back, dragging them down inch by inch until you were certain to either leave bright red marks on your property or draw blood.

"It was nothing!", He huffed from between grinding teeth, "How many times do I have to tell you?!"

Kappa lifted his right hand from the mattress to carefully straighten it out before his broad palm hit your cheek in a hefty slap. On impact, your head lolled to the side, the sharp pang of pain rapidly spreading over the entire side of your face.

"Maybe until I believe you, shithead!" You spat right back, not even remotely allowing him to gain the high ground right now.

In a sense of relentless fervor, you raised your head up until you were able to sink your teeth right into the toned muscles of his chest.

"Oh, get a grip!" He groaned as you bit down, the hand that smacked your face grabbing a fistful of your hair simply to yank you away from him immediately.

You felt how your teeth scraped over his skin, clenching it between your canines until it inevitably slipped away.

"Fucking feral cunt!" Kappa grunted whilst hammering his cock inside you in such a hard way that it nearly made you flinch.

"But your cunt!", You spewed, "You better not forget that!"

"I'd never!", His fingers let go of your hair, tracing over your jaw down to your chin, "C'mon, open up, would you? Daddy's got a special treat just for you."

At his words you felt your whole attitude shifting whether you wanted it to or not. With widening eyes, you stared at him, reluctantly opening your mouth.

"That's my good girl right there, no?" You simply nodded in response.

Your drowsy, somewhat fucked out gaze met with his arctic blue eyes as you heard him gathering the spit in his mouth.

"Tongue out, whore!" Kappa demanded, tilting his head with a lopsided grin.

Not breaking eye contact whatsoever, you let your tongue dart out between an open mouth.

"There, there…" His tone somewhere in between taunt and praise before spitting a sticky amalgamation of saliva right onto your tongue.

"Swallow for Daddy!" He scoffed, pushing your mouth shut again.

And that you did.

"Good girl!" Kappa praised you right after, picking up on his pace.

"Don't you ever doubt that you are my one and only!" He whispered, his lips softly brushing over yours, not quite kissing you just yet.

"There'll never ever be another woman by my side, I promise." You felt the tip of his nose nudging yours while his pace started to falter.

"I'll do whatever is necessary to protect you." Kappa's body turned rigid above yours.

"Fuck, it's really just you…" He drilled his cock into you for one final, deep thrust, before you felt him coming undone inside of you. White-hot ropes of his cum painting your insides and filling you up.

"It's just you!" Kappa whimpered, lost in his orgasmic bliss as he freed your tights from his grip and practically collapsed onto you.

Your muscles certainly felt sore as you stretched your legs out over the mattress but you barely paid attention to it, really.

"Come here…" Kappa rolled himself off of you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"I know today was a lot, but I'm still all about you, Sugar.", You allowed yourself to curl right up to him, practically melting into his gentle embrace, "Nothing will ever change anything about that, okay?"

"Are you sure about that?" As safe and warm you felt in his hug, the voices inside of your head were louder.

"I'm so sure about it that I'd cut your name into my skin if you asked me to." Kappa reciprocated right away.

"Well, then, I'm asking you to, Kappa."

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bleedingintogold · 9 months

Text

Okay, so to atone for my sin of killing off a character too sadly, I'm pulling a Jason Todd on Leader. Still gonna screw the guy up, no cap, but he comes back! The story will be in a few parts, coz I overcomplicated the plot due to unintentionally hyperfixating on it this weekend when I literally have exams next week.

And uh, it's gonna be a while before he gets his blanket back though. But he gets a name! If you haven't read the first part, here it is.

Leader - Lucca

Right-Hand - Rhea

Medic - Mason

Youngest - Yosef

Engineer - Eddy

Here's part 2.

-----

Safe and Sound

Part 2

Rhea drags her feet as she walks to the graveyeard, heart weighing heavy in her chest. Not even in death could Lucca be left to rest. She had been woken this morning by a call from the cemetry's caretaker. His grave had been disturbed.

Lucca had just been buried for God's sake, Rhea could still feel the cold metal of the handles of his casket in her hands when she had carried her captain to his final resting place. He had been buried for barely two days.

Out of all the graves, out of all the soldiers who had died with him and buried in the same row, fresh flowers still laid on top every stone name plate, not even fully dried out yet. It just had to be Lucca's grave that was disturbed.

But when she arrived, she realized it wasn't just disturbed. It was dug up.

6 feet beneath the soil laid an empty wooden coffin, Lucca's blanket, the handmade blanket they had gently wrapped around his broken body, held together by bandages and tucked under his chin, was soiled in mud, hanging out of the wooden box.

Rhea wanted to vomit as shaky hands pulled the blanket out of the grave.

Lucca had been taken, and by the looks of it, it didn't happen the night before. The last time it rained was the same night they had buried Lucca itself.

-----

Cold.

The only thing Lucca could process right now was that he felt unbelievably cold. He craved a familiar warmth that he couldn't quite remember. The last thing he remembered...what was it?

He then realized that he couldn't move his body, nor could he open his eyes. The first emotion he felt was panic.

"Subject has shown signs of life. Heart has started to beat strongly. Reanimation has been successful," said a robotic voice, giving Lucca a headache as it seemed to be echoing right in his ear.

"Welcome back, Captain Lucca. Let's get you all fixed up again,"

The voice was familiar, but he didn't have much time to ponder over it when he was hit by a searing hot pain across both his upper thighs and left bicep.

Lucca couldn't scream, as much as he wanted and needed to. His body was completely paralyzed but not a single bit numb to the pain. He could hear the alarming beep of a heart monitor machine somewhere above him.

"These limbs will have to go. The damage is too severe. I suppose that's what you get from walking into a bomb blast. Rather careless of you, really,"

Lucca was conscious for just long enough to feel his limbs being seperated away from his body.

#leader whump #team dynamics #leader whumpee #whumpblr #whump community #whumpee #whump #tw torture #tw permanent injury #blanket leader #team leader whump

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starlightshadowsworld · 2 months

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The identity of the man leading Israeli protesters to block aid trucks coming into Gaza, has been revealed.

His name is Andy Green. He's an American and a suspect in the 1985 assassination of Palestinian-American activist, Alexander Odeh.

Subtitles aren't the best so I've transcribed the video:

[It turns out that the guy leading Israeli protesters to block humanitarian aid into Gaza is an American.

The story goes that Andy Green fled to Israel because he's suspected of murdering a major Palestinian-American figure named Alexander Odeh.

Alexander Odeh was a Palestinian activist and the West Coast regional director of the American Arab Anti Discrimination Committee. He was assassinsted in a bombing in 1985.

Israeli Frey, an Israeli journalist who previously went into hiding after his house was attacked by a radical Israeli mob over his solidarity with Palestinians just exposed Andys identity.

A couple of days ago, Frey posted that one of the groups organising protesters to block humanitarian aid trucks, published an appeal for donations.

And the address in the register of associations is the same office of Andy Green. In the late 80's, Green was widely reported as a suspect in Odeh's assassination.

Instead of being held accountable, he moved to Israel, changed his name to Baroh Ben Yosef, became a lawyer and is now publically involved in Israel's thriving extremist political movements.

In fact it seems as though he's spearheading racist anti Palestinians actions as we speak. Since late January, Israeli protesters have been stopping aid trucks at the Karem Abu Salem crossing between Israel and Egypt.

As Gaza faces a famine.

A growing number of Palestinians especially children have died of starvation. ABC National Executive Director Abed Ayoub says:.

"The involvement of a suspect in the assassination of Alex Odeh in current events, particularly in actions in actions that hinder humanitarian aid, is a stark reminder of the unresolved injustices faced by the Arab American community.

We call upon the Department of Justice to intensify its investigation into Green and end the impunity that let's him continue his commitment to anti Palestinian terror."

My question is, why hasn't Biden or any other President ever extradited this suspected terrorist. If we want to get aid into Gaza, then Andy Green should be bought to justice right now.

End transcript.]

#free palestine #free gaza #anti israel #anti zionisim #Andy green #palestine #america

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crimsonvelvet · 1 year

Text

Meanings of names. Batim/Batdr edition!

Hello there! I'm back with another name meanings list! This time it's the Bendy verse, because it was immortalized (Hehe heh get it) yet again, and I couldn't be more excited.

So! I will be doing the primary characters for both games, BUT not all of them. I’ll be doing all the folks from Batim, since there aren’t as many as in Batdr, which added a TON of new characters and I for the live of me can't do them all. It would take me an eternity, so there... So, I won’t do those who had like one tape or memo. Sorry. I also will not be including characters from the comics or the books. Yeah. (but I can do a part 2 if you guys want ehehehehe)

Let's go!

Toons (not doing the corrupted versions, they’re technically the same)

Bendy. I'm pretty sure that Meatly made it up from the name of some editing program. Something something Bender, not sure.

Boris. From a Bulgar Turkic name, also recorded as Bogoris, perhaps meaning "short" or "wolf" or "snow leopard". Hey! Literally a wolf!

Alice. From the Old French name Aalis, a short form of Adelais, itself a short form of the Germanic name Adalheidis, which means "noble type". Hmm, I like it! Fits her. I’m obviously also counting Twisted Alice and Allison Angel. They all have the same name.

Charley (one of my favourite characters hehehehe). Diminutive form of Charles, which means "man". Literally. Just man. MAN. That’s it. I guess that fits... Charley is, after all, A MALE. Yeah.

Barley. Means “grower of barley”. Lmao. Just like that.

Edgar. Derived from the Old English elements ead "wealth, fortune" and gar "spear". I mean... I guess? He has nothing to do with spears, but he’s got fangs. They’re sharp. Spears are sharp.

Humans (from here on going in alphabet order)

Allison Pendle. Norman French diminutive of Aalis, so basically the same as Alice. Cool! She’s very sweet, so it fits for her as well!

Audrey Drew (putting her here because I don’t really count her as an ink entity). Medieval diminutive of Æðelþryð, which is derived from the Old English elements æðel "noble" and þryð "strength". Oh, she sure is strong!

Bertrum Piedmont. Means "bright raven", derived from the Germanic element beraht "bright" combined with hramn "raven". Uhhmm. Ooook then. Not sure where the raven comes from.

Daniel ”Buddy” Lewek. From the Hebrew name דָּנִיֵּאל (Daniyyel), meaning "God is my judge". Nuuuu, Buddy:( I still feel very bad for him... Man, poor guy.

Grant Cohen. From an English and Scottish surname that was derived from Norman French grand meaning "great, large". Well, his boss had GRANT plans for the studio (please don’t hurt me, I know the pun is bad).

Henry Stein (the man!). From the Germanic name Heimirich meaning "home ruler", composed of the elements heim "home" and ric "ruler". OOOOHH, i love it! Considering he is the actual creator of Bendy, he technically is the ruler!

Jack Fain. Derived from Jackin (earlier Jankin), a medieval diminutive of John, which itself is derived from the Hebrew name יוֹחָנָן (Yochanan) meaning "Yahweh is gracious". Maybe Jack is jewish? It’s unlikely, but I literally don’t know what to say here.

Joey Dr(ew). Diminutive of Joseph, which was from the Hebrew name יוֹסֵף (Yosef), meaning "he will add". Endless torment, that’s what he’ll add. Ugh, poor Henry.

Lacie Benton. Variant of Lacy. From a surname that was derived from Lassy, the name of a town in Normandy. I couldn’t really find anything else, so...I guess?

Nathan Arch Sr. From the Hebrew name נָתָן (Natan) meaning "he gave". Wha- what’d he give? A new chance for Bendy to be relevant again? Idk, really.

Nathan ”Wilson” Arch Jr (please don’t hurt me, but I kinda like him as a villain... Like, yeah, he’s creepy as all heck, but isn’t that kinda the point? So there, I said it). I will be doing his moniker, since duh. The name comes from an English surname meaning "son of William". Eeeehhhh, almost fits, just replace William with Nathan.

Norman Polk (eeeeyyyy it’s ma dude!). From an old Germanic byname meaning "northman", referring to a viking. Now that’s interesting. I can’t tell English accents apart very well, but I saw someone say he’s got a southern accent. And then there’s NORTHman. Hmmmm.

Sammy Lawrence. Diminutive of Samuel, coming from the Hebrew name שְׁמוּאֵל (Shemu'el), which could mean either "name of God" or "God has heard". Lmao, I guess his god really did hear him. And decided to fucking murder him.

Shawn Flynn. Anglicized form of Seán, which on itself is the Irish form of John, so basically the same as Jack.

Susie Campbell. Diminutive of Susan. This was derived from the Hebrew word שׁוֹשָׁן (shoshan) meaning "lily" (in modern Hebrew this also means "rose"), perhaps ultimately from Egyptian sšn "lotus". Oh, maybe those are her favourite flowers!

Thomas Connor. Greek form of the Aramaic name תָּאוֹמָא (Ta'oma') meaning "twin". OH he and Buddy are technically twins! Or, well, clones.

Wally Franks. Diminutive of Walter, which comes from a Germanic name meaning "ruler of the army", composed of the elements wald "rule" and hari "army". Pffft, he’s the ruler of the army that got OUTTA THE STUDIO, yeah ok it fits.

Ink entities (not doing Sammy, Jack and Norman for obvious reasons)

Betty. Diminutive of Elizabeth. From Ἐλισάβετ (Elisabet), the Greek form of the Hebrew name אֱלִישֶׁבַע ('Elisheva') meaning "my God is an oath". The heck- did she turn into Sammy?

Big Steve. Short form of Steven, which derives from the Greek name Στέφανος (Stephanos) meaning "crown, wreath". Uhh, I guess? Is there something that we have yet to discover?

Heidi. German diminutive of Adelheid, which means "noble type", from the French form of the Germanic name Adalheidis. Damn, what’s with all the nobles? Unrelated, but I love her bowtie.

Porter. From an occupational English surname meaning "doorkeeper". Oooohh, ok then, he technically is one.

And that’s it! Whew, took me quite some time. Please do tell me if you want a part two with the other folks! I’m not sure, when (and if) I’ll make it, we’l have to see.

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dolokhoded · 3 months

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80s jesus 'verse disciple headcanons pt. 3 (jesus, judas, jb)

my sincere apologies i know i said i'd bost judas "in a little bit" about. 2 weeks ago. here they are. @ that one anon who asked me about judas, my brain works very slowly, there he is

JESUS

ok starting off jesus is gender wacky. idk what he is i use he/him for him but calling him a man feels off. he's my favorite gender identity which is wack.

being somewhat divine does that to you you don't really care for the labels society has completely made up. ANYWAYS

i don't even know what i'm gonna write for jesus i'm sure you know what kinda guy jesus was.

okay. grew up in nazareth with his parents miriam and yosef and his siblings

(don't ask me why im using the hebrew form of names for the parents but not jesus himself. it's because we have a hundred marys.)

he has three siblings, two sisters and one brother, and he's older than all of them with a pretty big age gap, he was kind of an accidental pregnancy

(or, y'know, the son of god. but who knows ! )

had a relatively normal life compared to everyone else. i guess reparations for how well his life went last time idk.

jesus is also the only one out of them all who has somewhat of a sense that they've all existed together somewhere before ? he doesn't clearly remember any of it, but he did recognize his disciples when he met them.

he also has a lot of nightmares. they're vague, but very painful.

anyways aside from that pretty decent upbringing. he always knew that he wanted to help people as much as he can.

he learned carpentry from his dad and although he did study political science he ended up just running his father's shop.

however of course he also runs his organization ! which i really struggle to pick a main cause for because like it's jesus ? i feel like he'd care about anything that helps people he's just trying to make the world a little better.

idk. i'll think about it.

before he was doing that he was doing a lot of activist and volunteer work alongside his cousin john ! you guys know cousin john !

and therefore already had a lot of peers and a lot of friends who then followed him and supported him. the first being andrew, who was very close with john and was there when there was just talk between the three of them and maybe some more friends about jesus starting his own cause

aside from carpentry, which he obviously likes and is very good at, jesus is actually a little bit of a creative in general.

he just started with woodcarving with his leftover supply for fun and then slowly moved on to clay and occasionally even sculpting.

likes to give stuff shape anyways

cares so much for his whole team and always reminds them to be kind to themselves and take care of themselves however he has not practiced self care a single DAY in his entire LIFE

will overwork himself to exhaustion if someone doesn't physically drag him away. has before.

for an all loving creature he has the emotional intelligence of a doorknob

dgmw he's great. he's kind to everyone and all that. he's understanding.

still has not known what the fuck is going on a day in his entire life. each time any of his friends looks the slightest bit off he comes to the wildest possible conclusion.

most of the time said conclusion being that it's his fault

he might be a tiny bit self-centered. usually not in a positive way towards himself either, it just means he thinks he's the cause of everything bad happening in his life.

feels like the world revolves around him, just in a very pessimistic way

but he's got a lot on his plate can you blame him.

love how i went "yeah he's relatively doing pretty well" and then gave him a bunch of issues lol sorry jesus

JUDAS

welcome, queers, i know you're here for him, here he is

judas is an only child and comes from a very rich family.

his parents own an insurance company and have like a bunch of buildings they're renting.

generational wealth, basically. it's all inherited and they're making a shit ton of money out of nothing it's all already set up.

judas' family is also very religious.

and i know that so far two out of the two times i've said that it means the parents are assholes but i swear it's not like that james and john's parents are also religious it just wasn't relevant.

but yeah judas' parents are, in fact, assholes. judas was very involved at the temple from very early childhood.

which unfortunately led to him being abused by religious officials that he could supposedly trust and grew up with.

especially once he started growing into his teens and came to the realization that he very much Does Not like women.

which his parents didn't love either.

somewhere around that time he started to distance himself from his family, especially once he moved away for university. judas studied political science but halfway through kind of changed career plans and double majored in journalism

which was very demanding but he did it anyways !

in university he meets jesus. jesus is in his third year when he's in his first and helps him out a lot. they're both very politically active too and always meet at protests and charity events etcetcetc so, yeah, they know each other. and sure there's something there but judas is very closed off and they drift apart when jesus graduates.

oh, judas also has depression, he was diagnosed at age ten, his family was very ashamed of that as well.

in his last year of university, he falls out with his parents once and for all.

they already weren't close, judas was very hurt by them and obviously he had a lot of personal issues with them but to him the line came when he found out about a lot of things that were going on behind closed doors in his parents' company, they were scamming a lot of innocent people and also partnering with a lot of . really just scum of the earth kind of people.

judas got rightfully very upset and had absolutely zero reason to keep covering up any of this. so he didn't ! and obviously that was very disastrous for the company.

judas gets disowned. not legally, but his parents cut all ties with him. not that he wasn't going to do that himself anyways.

obviously though as a consequence he suddenly has very very limited money. luckily for him he's currently in a relationship with his guy, isaac, who's very happy to let him move into his apartment. it would benefit him too to share the rent anyways. as it turns out, isaac's not a great guy ! judas himself isn't too well either so they have a very weird very unhealthy very codependent relationship and though they fight a lot it takes judas two years until he finally finds the strength to walk out on him.

judas didn't think that through very well because he doesn't really have anywhere to go. to his luck, guess who he runs into !

it's jesus. of course it's jesus this is the dolokhoded bible where the main character is still jesus, no matter how much i love to talk about james and simon.

jesus is on his way to a meeting with his team and he's like hey why don't you come along. and judas does. and that's it, he meets the whole gang, he ends up rooming with andrew and philip for a while before he gets his own place.

and, y'know. he does, eventually, in an excruciatingly slow process that tests the patience of all of their friends, get together with jesus.

okay i prob have to write this too uhh sad stuff ahead judas attempts once.

he's spiraling and overworking himself and hiding it pretty well. has some petty fight with john that jesus scolds him about and then has another fight with jesus over that and overall it's not going swell.

strangely enough it's john who decides to check on him after that. he has not gotten along with judas a day in his life but he could tell how upset he was and jesus is hurt and also a little petty and isn't gonna go do it himself so he decides he might as well. to his horror he stumbles into. well. yeah

he survives.

he moves in with jesus, john and matthew for a while after that.

(a lot of them are rooming they don't have much money)

goes back to therapy too.

okay sad stuff over. it gets better. he's doing well. gets a job at an independent news page and becomes quite known among his circles for his work too.

JOHN THE BAPTIST

or JB.

he does not baptize anyone. his first name is john baptist. don't ask me the logic of being named after himself when he hasn't existed yet for people to be named after him ok making an au of a defining characteristic of current human society is fucking difficult

jesus' cousin. his mother, elisheba, is miriam's sister. she's a good fifteen years older than her, and was in her fourties the year that both jesus and jb were born so her getting pregnant was a bit of a surprise.

grew up with jesus and they're very close. they studied together and they theorized together and they discussed everything together.

very big on environmental activism. and by consequence very very anti-capitalism. very anti-fast fashion, for multiple reasons. also vegan :).

jb genuinely believes the human race is the universe's biggest abomination and we should just go extinct. he's not wrong.

he doesn't pick favorites (but he does and they're andrew and philip they're his favorites)

philip was sort of his right hand

he's kind of there to encourage all the shit jesus can't if he doesn't want absolute chaos and zero planning. give simon a pat on the back for getting into fights with racists and all that.

generally he's a little more radical that jesus is. they don't agree on everything but they both respect each other's stances.

he's so well read. it's obvious too, they're all educated obviously, but this guy talks and you can tell he knows his shit. it's very impressive.

and not even in the sense of being well informed and reading theory he knows literature he knows art he's so cultured and i don't like using the word cultured because it often brings to mind a very western very white very high class perception of "culture" but that's not what i'm talking about here.

jb calls himself an atheist in a more political sense. he believes that people shouldn't rely on some higher force to give humanity and morality substance and should instead search for meaning inside those things alone, otherwise they won't have the right motivations to be moral and therefore their beliefs will have no strong foundation.

he grew up jewish but his relationship with his faith is very personal to him and stays between him and god. he doesn't care to discuss it with anyone, except maybe jesus a few times.

sort of everyone's go-to person for advice. he's there to talk the stupid out of them.

his mother was a seamstress, and he learned from her. he likes to make a lot of his own clothes.

professionally, however, he's a translator. he speaks hebrew, english, greek, russian and arabic. (also a little bit of french and german. he's not qualified to translate those though) (is constantly in the process of learning more)

he just fixated on different alphabets as a teenager a little too hard.

#bible fandom #dolokhoded bible #took me. EIGHTEEN DAYS approximately.#im doing either matthew and philip or matthew philip And either thomas or nathanael next.#whoever doesnt make it to the next post is banished with thad and little james. my dallas jenkins era.#(i am joking fuck dallas jenkins)

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