What type of cat do you wanna be? I just wanna knead his back don't care about categories 😭

Yes I'm waiting for a vampire Hwa fic that will suit my taste, because the period sex ones 🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️ OUT OF THE QUESTION. I vividly remember one but it was short about y/n sneaking out on the balcony to meet him? Actually I can't remember if he was a vampire, but I think so dudjejddhkshdhshw or maybe I made that fic up lmao. It's like werewolves and br**ding kink EVERY FUCKING TIME GIVE IT A REST. Though since I'm on my period now I wouldn't mind a vamp sucking the blood out of me, preferably all my blood so I will pass away

Man said "I didn't mean to play push and pull" are you sure BRO are you sure BABY BOY?! Also my other issue with the "show abs" is that some don't have abs? I'm happy when I see idols in crop tops, but without toned stomachs <3 I don't need them to starve to show their midriff

SPIDERMAN: EVERYONE'S HOME I FUCKING YELLED KWHRJSBDSHDJSHS yes mosquitoes are sneaky, blood suckers ugh, why can't vampires suck my blood instead. My friend said THERE WAS A SPIDER ABOVE OUR MAIN DOOR TOO???? A SMALL ONE BUT STILL

SM can't commit unfortunately, they have cool ideas but the execution 🥴 Some people say lore is too confusing and stops them from enjoying the songs and mvs??? I saw that complaint about Ateez so many times. Actually I think Xdinary Heroes have lore too, I'm anticipating their comeback FINALLY. Yeah some of Aespa lore is so corny and the way they put Kwangya and Naevis in the lyrics is so annoying, why can't you be more subtle hellooooo. I was talking about Enhypen and their vampires/werewolves story, but their recent comeback didn't reference them and I was so disappointed I also disliked the song, but that's another story

The song titles are pretty strong and straightforward I wanna know moreeeee, which one is the TT. Idk bestie many people like the squares?! If you don't have a lot of space then yeah they're better, but everything inside will be smaller ughhhh, idk if they did it randomly or because we're back to Halateez, regardless I'm not too happy. Also it says PHOTOBOOKLET not PHOTOBOOK what if it's not as thick as usual, I'm worried 😭 I live for the photobooks, why are we downgrading come oooooon. I saw the re-design it was better, but I saw Atinys who were like OMFG ATEEZ DESIGNS ARE ALWAYS SO GORGEOUS!!! To each their own, but have you seen other album covers uhmmm Ateez can't compare I'm sorry. And someone got ratioed for being unGraTeFuL omfg stfu, people are allowed to complain, stop riding KQ's dick so hard... I got 3 signed albums! I also joined 3 video call events so far, hopefully I win something <3 a photo teaser should drop soon the no time stamps thing pisses me off, but look like I'll be awake for today's concept photo, it better be good

THAT GIF DJSUDJSJSHSHSHS FORGOT HOW ANNOYING HE WAS BUT THAT'S BB HWA FOR SURE

Size kink is not here miss, Mingi and Yunho are taller than me, but not that tall, if I wear high heels we're pretty much the same height. They didn't play Fireworks :/// I missed Answer and SMN

Oh I didn't know Dean comes to Canada often also where is he? Maybe I missed something because I don't keep up with him. Yes most fans are pissed at Sunmi, but some have no problem with NFTs. A.C.E's US label wanted to invest in them, people ratioed that label's CEO and they cancelled it sufhjshdjshdhrj so fucking funny. Also this happened, I was like NOOOOO DON'T DO IT TO MY NUGU GIRLS. OMFG Kun did it? That's shitty :( Hybe is really into NFTs rn it's yikessss

Well if I can't get vampire Hwa I will be the vampire instead idc, his neck and arms look delectable...😋 omfg your friend met Mr Hutaaaaa 👀 some idols probably don't know the shit about AW, some are forced to work with him ehhh. I wanna see idols in more interesting clothes perhaps local designers, not the usual boring big names. Seriously when will Hwa have his own cover, Hyunjin and Felix and Chan, Minho too had solo or unit shoots, I'm waiting for Seonghwa 😭😭😭😭 and we all know man loves fashion and posing

The photos A KISS ON THE FOREHEAD BEFORE I SINK MY TEETH INTO HIS FLESH. Also Yunho trying to slice his neck?!??!

Please he's so cute with his MILF bag 😌 the likes tho, Shitstars are too delulu 💔 we're a lost cause. And one more - DV 💖

hi hello!!

What type of cat do you wanna be? I just wanna knead his back don't care about categories 😭

JFBWKDHSK ID WANNA BE THE CAT IN BUZZFEED WHEN THEY HAVE A CAT-INTERVIEW WITH THEM 😭😭😭 specifically the one that hwa holds <3 id perish,, kneading biscuits <3

Yes I'm waiting for a vampire Hwa fic that will suit my taste, because the period sex ones 🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️ OUT OF THE QUESTION. I vividly remember one but it was short about y/n sneaking out on the balcony to meet him? Actually I can't remember if he was a vampire, but I think so dudjejddhkshdhshw or maybe I made that fic up lmao. It's like werewolves and br**ding kink EVERY FUCKING TIME GIVE IT A REST. Though since I'm on my period now I wouldn't mind a vamp sucking the blood out of me, preferably all my blood so I will pass away

YEAH !!!! i don’t think theres like a full on vampire fic in the ateez section,,,, i rmr reading one for exo it had like 40+ parts and is at 9.9 mil rn,,, so good, waiting for SOMEONE TO AT LEAST WRITE A TWILIGHT AU 😭😭 OH GOD I GENUINELY DESPISE THE PERIOD ONES EVERYTIME I SEE A VAMPIRE FIC AND I GO REWD IT AND IFS JUST OERIOD SEX THE WAY I RUN OUT 😭😭😭 HOW DOES ONE THINK OF THEM 😭😭😭 oh my god, as much as im ok with the aspect of alpha’s and stuff the breeding kink in the abo section is INTENSE 😭😭🤚🏼NO LITERALLY LIKE MAKE IT SOMETHING THAT’S MAYBE JUST REGULAR WHY U GOTTA BREED 🔫 BRMWDHWJGDWK ALL OF THE BLOOD 😭😭🤚🏼

Man said "I didn't mean to play push and pull" are you sure BRO are you sure BABY BOY?! Also my other issue with the "show abs" is that some don't have abs? I'm happy when I see idols in crop tops, but without toned stomachs <3 I don't need them to starve to show their midriff

“didn’t mean to play push and pull” AND HERE U ARE DOING THE EXACT AND LIKING IT 🤚🏼🔫 HES INTO ETL FOR SURE HE’S THE TYPE TO READ ARRANGE MARRIAGE AU’S AND ETLS AND RIVALS TO LOVERS 1000% omg right like i see fans go “omg don’t pressure them into showing abs u literally don’t deserve them” and then a month later when the abs are shown its like a whole diff scenario,,, YEAAH !!!! EXACTLY !!! tbh they don’t even need to have abs,,, like just have a stomach that’s all good with us <3 eat and have some chubby cheeks and id cry <3

SPIDERMAN: EVERYONE'S HOME I FUCKING YELLED KWHRJSBDSHDJSHS yes mosquitoes are sneaky, blood suckers ugh, why can't vampires suck my blood instead. My friend said THERE WAS A SPIDER ABOVE OUR MAIN DOOR TOO???? A SMALL ONE BUT STILL

LMFAOOOO BFWMBDWKJDKW IT WAS A GOOD JOKE I KEPT LAUGHING AT IT TOO FBFBFBF its like vampires are the ancestors to mosquitoes,, mf wont leave us alone 😭😭 HELLOOO?????? MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF UR PLACE WHAT THENFUCKFHWKDJJWL

SM can't commit unfortunately, they have cool ideas but the execution 🥴 Some people say lore is too confusing and stops them from enjoying the songs and mvs??? I saw that complaint about Ateez so many times. Actually I think Xdinary Heroes have lore too, I'm anticipating their comeback FINALLY. Yeah some of Aespa lore is so corny and the way they put Kwangya and Naevis in the lyrics is so annoying, why can't you be more subtle hellooooo. I was talking about Enhypen and their vampires/werewolves story, but their recent comeback didn't reference them and I was so disappointed I also disliked the song, but that's another story

EXACTLY THE EXECUTION GOT LAZY WITH THE NEW EXPERIMENTS THEYVE BEEN DOING 😭😭 bruh tbh the lore makes everything more interesting personally,,, NO IF THE LORE IS TOO CONFUSING JUST??? DONT?? PAY ATTENTION TO IT??? 😭😭 enjoy the music bro 😭😭 IM EXCITED FOR XDINARY HEROS THEY SEEM TO HAVE A COOL CONCEPT yEah THE “my nævis we love u” no bro 😭😭 u don’t 😭😭 ENHA HAS A WEREWOLF THEORY?????????????????????????????????????????? HELLO????????????????

The song titles are pretty strong and straightforward I wanna know moreeeee, which one is the TT. Idk bestie many people like the squares?! If you don't have a lot of space then yeah they're better, but everything inside will be smaller ughhhh, idk if they did it randomly or because we're back to Halateez, regardless I'm not too happy. Also it says PHOTOBOOKLET not PHOTOBOOK what if it's not as thick as usual, I'm worried 😭 I live for the photobooks, why are we downgrading come oooooon. I saw the re-design it was better, but I saw Atinys who were like OMFG ATEEZ DESIGNS ARE ALWAYS SO GORGEOUS!!! To each their own, but have you seen other album covers uhmmm Ateez can't compare I'm sorry. And someone got ratioed for being unGraTeFuL omfg stfu, people are allowed to complain, stop riding KQ's dick so hard... I got 3 signed albums! I also joined 3 video call events so far, hopefully I win something <3 a photo teaser should drop soon the no time stamps thing pisses me off, but look like I'll be awake for today's concept photo, it better be good

RIGHT i so think the first one is the title,,,, with them teasers out i def think it’s that 😮‍💨😮‍💨 THE MAIN ISSUE WITH THE SMALL ONE IS THAT (i don’t mind them tbh) but everything jUST SO SMOLL 🤏🏼🤏🏼 and like the booklet be closing randomly if ur holding it and wHAT ABT THE PHOTOGRAPHY WE WANTED TO SEE IT BIG BUT 😭😭 GET THE FUCK OUT IT SAYS PHOTOBOOKLET??? GOD WHATD WHJFHWKDHWK OK I CHECKED ,,, IN THE SMN (and all the ones with squares) ERA THE PHOTOBOOK WAS ALSO CALLED PHOTOBOOKLET,,, no ur so right as much as the minimalism is good sometimes,,,, maybe it’s better for a nicer album and ditching the minimalistic side,, i don’t mind either but sometimes a new side is good to test too 😭😭 atz on their way to hire atinys WAIT RLY??? damn can’t have no opinions in atinyvile YOU GOT THEM??? BESTIE LESSGOOOOO MANIFESTING SEONGHWAS SIGNED ALBUMS FOR UUUU !!!!! AAAAA I HOPE U GET IN !!!!! omg did u get the digipack???? tbh that digipack sounds kinda promising but it’s only for americans and 🔫🔫🤚🏼🔫🤚🏼🤚🏼 me and my friends were up all might trying to see what hour they’d drop them and everytime they didn’t we’d call it a scam 😭😭😭

but,,, that ain’t san,,, that thor

THAT GIF DJSUDJSJSHSHSHS FORGOT HOW ANNOYING HE WAS BUT THAT'S BB HWA FOR SURE

BDKQHDKS EXACTLY 😭😭 MAKES ME WANNA REWATCH IT JUST FOR HIM and he’s sO FINE 😭😭😭 be was also so whipped i felt bad for him when his family never let him see his mom when she passed

Size kink is not here miss, Mingi and Yunho are taller than me, but not that tall, if I wear high heels we're pretty much the same height. They didn't play Fireworks :/// I missed Answer and SMN

i am literally on my way, booking the MF flight to come and sTEAL UR LEGS RN GIVE ME SOME INCHES I JUST NEED TWO MORE HELLO IF U ARE DONATING PLS LMK FBWKFEJ GOFUNDME <333 NAURRRR U MISSED SMN ???? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh I didn't know Dean comes to Canada often also where is he? Maybe I missed something because I don't keep up with him. Yes most fans are pissed at Sunmi, but some have no problem with NFTs. A.C.E's US label wanted to invest in them, people ratioed that label's CEO and they cancelled it sufhjshdjshdhrj so fucking funny. Also this happened, I was like NOOOOO DON'T DO IT TO MY NUGU GIRLS. OMFG Kun did it? That's shitty :( Hybe is really into NFTs rn it's yikessss

OH HE COMES HERE OFTEN !!!! he’s finally releasing an album after like 5 years bestie bfwmbd,,, sunmi’s response to it had me 💀 LMFAOOOO THE WAY KPOP FANS BULLY COMPANIES INTO DOING THIS IS SO CHAOTIC FBFBFB NUGU GIRLIES FBWNDHQKDHWK PLS 😭😭😭 YEAH KUN DID IT ITS STILL UP ON HIS IG,,, hybe’s stocks going 📉📉📉

Well if I can't get vampire Hwa I will be the vampire instead idc, his neck and arms look delectable...😋 omfg your friend met Mr Hutaaaaa 👀 some idols probably don't know the shit about AW, some are forced to work with him ehhh. I wanna see idols in more interesting clothes perhaps local designers, not the usual boring big names. Seriously when will Hwa have his own cover, Hyunjin and Felix and Chan, Minho too had solo or unit shoots, I'm waiting for Seonghwa 😭😭😭😭 and we all know man loves fashion and posing

LMFAOOOO NFBWNDBSM I SUPPORT THIS HUNGER !!!! no fr and she’s younger than me (exchange student thing that is why) and everytime i see her stories its her at a btob meeting or concert or fanmeet,, im like go yOU I GET FREE CONTENT FBFB yEAAH THEY PROBS DONT but ain’t CL his bestie 🔫 yEAAAH LIKE HOW BP DID TO THE HANBOKS FROM A LOCAL STYLISTS STUFF LIKE THAT WOULD BE RLY BENEFICIAL,,, sEONGHWA FOR VOGUE OR ELLE WHEN THE DAY IT HAPPENS MODEL HWA AU HWA WOULD BE RISEN

The photos A KISS ON THE FOREHEAD BEFORE I SINK MY TEETH INTO HIS FLESH. Also Yunho trying to slice his neck?!??! Please he's so cute with his MILF bag 😌 the likes tho, Shitstars are too delulu 💔 we're a lost cause. And one more - DV 💖

KISS ON THE FOREHEAD AND A BITE??? DBDBFBFBD HIS MILF BAG STOP I SCREAMED 😭😭😭😭 he looks so fine there,,, him in normal clothes is so >>>> shinestar’s will always give the most rando video of seonghwa more them 1K likes

bestie we got a quizzz !!!!

Listen, I'm not mad as a shipper, I'm used to having shipping questions shut down at cons at this point. It's been like that for years. I explained as much in an earlier post.

I'm mad as a queer person.

I don't hate Jared. I reserve hate for people I know and people I know for a fact are vile little piss ants. I wouldn't even go so far as to call myself an anti. Up until recently I was more of a neutral. Because you see, I watched the show long before I joined the fandom. I was in the fandom a while before I became a shipper. I was a fan of all the actors before joining the fandom. Followed all of them. Then, Jared started posting about service workers. I stopped following him after that. Just another privileged person complaining. I didn't hate him, just lost a little respect. I found out about the PSH tweet (made about a month before I joined the fandom) a little while later and lost more. Because addiction is a disease, not a choice and what he said (hours after the man's death) was disrespectful as hell. The things he has said and done since the finale have slid me firmly into "not a huge fan, but whatever" territory. His answer on the Destiel queston, that btw, was not asked of him, has me sitting in "don't really like your personality bro, thanks for the character you gave and all, but...yikes. No thanks."

Why? Is it because I'm a "bitter Heller who is just throwing a fit because my ship wasn't validated"? Naw, dude. Like I said, I'm used to disappointment. I've been a Doctor Who fan since 2006. I'm a queer who grew up with Harry Potter, the books, not the movies. I was excited for the first Sucide Squad movie. Disappointment and I are old friends.

It's because Jared sat there, on a stage, infront of a bunch of people, and equated romantic love to sex. He answered a question, (again that he had no reason to because it didn't involve him) that had nothing to do with sex, at all, and made it about sex. He sexulized LGBTQ+ community, like thats not one of the biggest stereotypes we have to defend against Every. Single. Day. I'm the B in that category, and the amount of times people have taken advantage of that...the amount of times I've been called a "whore"... the amount of times someone has assumed I will sleep with anybody just because I'm not picky about what is between someone's legs....it's exhausting. I've been in a monogamous relationship since 2012 and people still assume I'm loose. Also, the fact that people wouldn't consider it cheating if I slept with a woman...disgusting. And thats just me. Don't get me started on the fetishization of the queer community. A super hetero dude bro has no problem watching p*rn with two girls going at it, but god forbid they hold hands, or buy a house and adopt a kid. It's "funny" for a dude to act like a girl but the second that dude kisses another dude it's gross. Just, ugh.

Literally no one said romantic love is about sex. Literally no one said saying "I love you" means "lets fuck". Jared did. He brought his children into it. A mother, speaking about her queer children, asked when Dean found out Castiel's love was romantic and Jared replied with "saying I love you to my son doesn't mean I want to touch him." Dude, NO ONE SAID THAT! He said Castiel couldn't feel romantic love because he was junkless. Again Love is not equal to sex. Castiel had sex with April (which btw, means he wasn't junkless) doesn't mean he loved her. Castiel said he loves Jack. We know that doesn't mean he's trying to do him cuz...ew...that's his son. Again, nobody said sex equals love. But he did.

He sat there and said "LGBTQIA" and completely invalidated the "A" part of it. There is a whole spectrum of people who have no sexual feelings and still feel romantic love. There is a spectrum of people who don't even feel sexual feelings until they feel romantic love. There is a whole spectrum of people who do not eqaute love to sex AT ALL. There are nonbinary folks that feel sexual attraction without regards to gender and there are those who just straight up don't feel sexual attraction at all, but still feel love. And that man sat there and, with his whole chest, made a question about another character's love, about sex.

He brought i*cest into it. No one else did. No one said the show was about love and sex. He brought it up. No one said love couldn't be platonic, he's the one who went off on a tangent about it and AGAIN, on a question (say it with me this time) that WAS NOT FOR HIM! I'm not saying the man doesn't have a say in a show that he was on for 15 years, but Jared and Sam had no involvement in that scene at all. It was not about him. He had no place to answer that question and the way he did was....not good at all.

Now, dont get me wrong, Jensen has no place to speak on Castiel's behalf either. He absolutely has the right to talk about Dean, how Dean interpreted it, and how he played Dean's reaction, because Dean is his character. Castiel is Misha's. Misha doesn't speak on Dean's feelings as if he knows because it isn't his place to say. Jensen should do the same. And the thing is, he was actually doing a decent job answering it, until Jared interrupted. He was interrupted and backed into a corner of a PR nightmare, and backpedaled. That's it.

Like I said, not suprised it was tiptoed around. The show isn't about shipping, I get it. Being angry about it solves nothing. It will just make me bitter.

I am pissed that Jared went on a long rant about things he has no business speaking about. I am pissed that Jared invalidated an entire spectrum of people. If you are queer and have no problem with what he said, that's on you, but I, and I know many others, are not okay with it. He made a question into something it wasn't and I'm allowed to be mad about it for reasons that aren't about my ship.

I think I'm done for now, but who knows. Either way I hope everyone has a good day today.

You are loved, you are worthy and you are VALID!

That is all.

On my shit again, you get more Caleb fluff headcanons as a result -

Caleb's the absolute definition of 'ride or die' (cowboy pun intended) He doesn't give two shits what happens, he's sticking around until the absolute end unless you tell him otherwise or betray him in some way. Oh you have horrible mood swings? That's okay bbgworl so does he. Lowkey kinda crazy? That's foine shawty it makes you so quirky and not like other girls. Man's a simp, what do you expect

With that being said, I also believe that Caleb is one of the more patient killers in a relationship despite his short temper. He's surprisingly tolerant to a lot of bullshit, and while he'll call anyone pissing him off out right away it takes a lot for them to really get to him yk

ALSO on the topic of his short temper, it doesn't matter how angry Caleb is, he would never hurt his S/O purposefully outside of a trial (unless consent was given, if you're into that) If he accidentally hurt them, while upset or not, I feel like he'd definitely be fucked up for a while.

Once he realizes what he did, he'd probably be terrified of touching you unless you initiate it, and once you make it known that you're not upset and you're okay with him touching you he just kinda... holds you for a while. During so, he's just whispering apologies nonstop, I genuinely don't believe he in any way wants to hurt his S/O and it pains him to even do it during trials.

After he's done feeling bad (for the most part) he'd probably try and get you to hurt him somehow, eye for an eye kind of thing. I had a family member that accidentally slapped me when we walked into each other and wouldn't let me walk away until I slapped him back, I feel like he'd probably try and do the same thing. (If you do slap him, please mind the jaw)

i am not complaining at all i love hearing yalls hcs also long ass post below lol

caleb always gave me arthur morgan/micah bell vibes?? that first hc just sorta reminded me of how dedicated arthur was to his gang and it just reminds me of caleb all the time ajhfdjksf (I'm so obsessed w rdr2 rn so feel free to send in any asks relating to it even tho this is a dbd blog LMAO)

i think caleb only gets a temper when people intentionally try to get on his nerves or if he messes up on something too much. i think anybody would be angered by betrayal, so i dont think he'd have too much of a temper other than him getting smacked on the head by pallets and simply making a mistake. i wouldnt be surprised if he was bipolar tbh

i completely agree with caleb not hurting you. sure, he kills people, but that doesn't mean he would intentionally hurt you. caleb respects you and never believes you are deserving of pain. i also feel like caleb thinks its immature to hit someone just because their emotions get the best of them, so he doesn't want to hurt you just because hes angry at you (he's a little bit of a hypocrite cause he'd def rock someones shit if they tried to talk shit abt you)

if caleb does hurt you accidentally or not (if its not on accident its probably one of those RARE times his anger takes control) he would probably distance himself for your safety. he'd definitely scold himself for it too. i feel like caleb likes to hide certain emotions from you so you can worry about yourself and not him, so you might not even know he's feeling guilty about it. he knows it makes him seem like an ass if he doesn't say anything, so he will confirm that he will do better and that he knows he did wrong

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Afternoon Janis: Just about Janis: Won't tell anyone you didn't hit me up with the coveted Morning text, like Jimmy: No need when I'm there to do it in person Jimmy: Just use your imagination when you tell 'em how I woke you up Janis: 😏 Why bother when they so ready to do it themselves, like Janis: #yourinfluence obvs Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: Yours is that the 🐶 won't shut up 'bout you #real love 💕 Janis: Dog, yeah? Janis: Not heard that one before Jimmy: Alright, you rumbled me, my sister too Jimmy: But what the dog's saying is nicer Janis: 😂 Janis: I did forget to invite her along, to be fair Janis: Forgetfulness gotta be catching 'cos Mia totally wanted to idk Janis: wax my bikini line or something, apparently Jimmy: I know this is fake but your dirty talk needs some work, mate Jimmy: Good to know that shit does happen at sleepovers though Janis: Grow up dickhead 🙄 Janis: probably try recreate game of thrones and pour it on my head, no thanks Janis: can't make that sexy, no matter how many dragons I add to the story, soz Jimmy: Niche reference 👍 Jimmy: I rolled up to say tah for not being a dickhead anyway Jimmy: It all went to plan Janis: You're definitely that kinda nerd, don't lie Janis: Duh Janis: 🥇 Janis: I told you Jimmy: Piss off am I Jimmy: You can't pretend that you don't know how cool I am now, Joan Janis: What, 'cos you took me to the pub I suggested Janis: Okay 😏 Jimmy: 'cause I didn't make a holy show of myself as you Irish call it Jimmy: at the pub you suggested Janis: You were alright Janis: Not too unbearable, like Jimmy: I love you too, baby 😘 Janis: 🖕 Idiot Jimmy: What you doing tonight? Jimmy: We should be seen together so people don't reckon I got what I wanted and that's it Janis: Or you were that shit I've had to ghost you Jimmy: Nobody's thinking that Janis: Alright ego 😜 Janis: but I'm up for doing something, long as it's not totally shit Jimmy: Is there like a party or something going on? Jimmy: More people the better, I reckon Janis: Undoubtedly Janis: I'll ask my cousin, not everyone he knows is a total prick Janis: up for the challenge, yeah? 💪 Jimmy: Like you said 🥇 Janis: 👍 I've hit him up, let you know the where and when Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I'm on a half day so don't matter Jimmy: Time to make myself look #goals Janis: Sick Janis: weren't too dead were ya? Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: You? Janis: Good Janis: 'Course not Janis: Lazy rich bitch anyway so you know Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: tah for saying it so I don't 'ave to Janis: Please, you're so gutted Jimmy: Maybe Jimmy: You'll just have to cheer me up tonight Janis: Yeah? Janis: Easy Jimmy: Easy for you to say now, yeah Jimmy: We haven't faked it for that long before Janis: Have a little faith Janis: 'less you're planning to make it hard for me or Jimmy: It'd be more fun but we've got a deal Jimmy: So don't fuck it up & I won't Janis: Fine 🙄 Jimmy: Saving your enthusiasm? 👍 Janis: Yeah Janis: basically got 16 years worth saved up, hope you're ready Jimmy: Challenge accepted, Jillian Janis: That's the worse one yet Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: I won't use it when anyone can hear me, don't worry Jimmy: What's your name again though? Janis: You testing me Janis: watch me turn up looking like a bag of shit now Janis: enjoy, wanker Jimmy: Watch me 😍😍😍 even harder for it Jimmy: You're not gonna beat me, babe Janis: So am Jimmy: Like I said, easy to say now Jimmy: Harder to do when I'm chaining 🚬 to put you off Janis: 😒 I've handled worse Jimmy: I don't need your exes list, Judy Janis: Short list Janis: . Janis: like Jimmy: What? Jimmy: You only fake date Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: Fuck off Janis: I don't date Janis: waste of time Jimmy: Can be Janis: Is Jimmy: Pete'll be gutted Jimmy: Still, if you're as good in bed for real as you are when it's fake, decent consolation Janis: I'm sure Janis: aside from he probably fancies you more than he does me Jimmy: Me too, he's been name dropping you all shift 💕 Jimmy: Wrong again, Jennifer Janis: Lies Jimmy: I didn't know who he meant for half of it Jimmy: but yeah Janis: Brilliant Janis: Good thing he's not our target demo then isn't it Jimmy: No offense, Janis Jimmy: ain't my fault he don't know you Janis: Why would he Janis: He's like year above ain't he, idk Jimmy: How would I know? Jimmy: Not the one crushing on him Janis: You do keep bringing him up Janis: if you needed a beard, like Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: What do you wanna talk about then? Janis: [Party deets] Janis: There you go, can plan your outfit now Jimmy: What time do you wanna show up? Janis: Later the better, init Janis: make a scene but also, don't have to spend too much time surrounded by idiots Jimmy: You just know you can't hack faking being my girlfriend for too long Jimmy: but 👌 Janis: Bitch I can go all night Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: You'd be stretched to do an hour Janis: Bollocks Janis: When do YOU wanna go then? Jimmy: I'd go right now if they'd have me Jimmy: Better than being stuck at the CG Janis: N'awh, you really know how to make a girl feel special, babe 😘 Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: I'll do it tonight Jimmy: Do your best to wait patiently, Jodie Janis: 🖕 Do yours to keep up Janis: can't be too late if you gotta leave 9 though, are you sure Janis: lowkey might not even start before then Jimmy: I've sorted it with Cass Jimmy: I can be out as late as we need to get this done Janis: Didn't know it was her calling the curfew not your Da Janis: but makes sense, tbh Janis: cool then Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: He don't call any shots Jimmy: But someone's gotta look after my brother & he don't worry 'bout that either Janis: I wasn't trying to be funny about it Jimmy: Decent effort then 'cause you weren't Janis: Alright Janis: sorry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: meet there? Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Let me know when Janis: k Jimmy: [Later] Jimmy: They want me to work over Jimmy: when are we going? Janis: Oh, don't worry then if it's gonna be too much hassle Jimmy: It's only a couple more hours Janis: When are you getting off now? Jimmy: 4.30 Jimmy: but I got some shit to do when I leave here Jimmy: part of Cass' bargain Janis: 👍 good girl Janis: anything i can help with or you alright Jimmy: you can get the dog out Jimmy: know you'd both love that 💕 Janis: Sure thing Janis: use the extra steps myself anyway Jimmy: Come and get my keys whenever Janis: Are the kids gonna be about Janis: they could come with, if they would Jimmy: you can ask 'em if you're feeling brave Janis: Just an idea Janis: might run off some energy lowkey exhaust the dog and them, like Jimmy: I reckon it's a good one Jimmy: They might not Janis: I'll try Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: If they're dickheads, text me Janis: Don't worry, I've got millions of cousins and shit, I know how to not get 'em killed or I wouldn't offer Jimmy: Weren't worried 'bout 'em Jimmy: Just you Janis: Oi Janis: I'm no soft-touch Jimmy: Only got your word for that, mate Janis: 😑 Janis: Proof'll be how well-trained this dog is Jimmy: You ain't got long enough for that Jimmy: I'm not fake dating you for years tah Janis: Christ no Janis: crash course, I'm that good Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: as long as you're more convincing tonight Janis: Name a time I haven't been Janis: everyone's buying it so hard Jimmy: I told you, that was lowest tier shit Jimmy: You have to pretend to like me for longer than a make out sesh Janis: I keep telling you I can, damn Janis: Can't prove it 'til we're there, can I? Jimmy: Alright, calm down Jimmy: take some pics on your walk, really milk how domestic we are Janis: Done Janis: she's very photogenic Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: you can date her for real when this is over Janis: You're giving me her in the fake breakup, yeah? Janis: Cheers Jimmy: why not? Jimmy: means you gotta give me something Jimmy: get thinking Janis: can I interest you in Grace? Janis: know what you're thinking, literally defeats the point Janis: but she just looking for a new fam Janis: bitch for a bitch Jimmy: nah tah Jimmy: One sister's enough Janis: Shit Janis: I got 3 Janis: worst luck Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: violin solo for each Janis: Grace is more like a fucking triangle solo Jimmy: brutal Jimmy: I don't reckon there's an emoji for that though 💔 Janis: 🃏 Janis: really lacking on the emoji front Janis: gutted, gonna complain Jimmy: get it done, Joanne Janis: talk to twitter whilst i'm there Janis: your account not dead now? Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: I ain't checked Janis: Bummer Janis: no new nudes for me 💔 Jimmy: I'll streak through the party Jimmy: make an entrance Janis: 😂 Janis: Twat Janis: There's no pretending to be 😍 over public indecency Jimmy: try harder then, dickhead Jimmy: thought you were 🥇 Janis: I don't want everyone to reckon I'm actually derranged, like Janis: be normal, Taylor Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you know, one of us has to Jimmy: I get it, you don't reckon you won't be overcome with lust at the sight of me actually naked Jimmy: head in the game, girl Janis: 'Course Janis: who wouldn't be Janis: turning it into a casual orgy Jimmy: Mia maybe Jimmy: You're more her type Janis: Ugh don't Janis: idk what her problem really is Janis: 'cept she wants to wear my skin Jimmy: she's jealous Janis: Nah Janis: she's an only child and her daddy gives her everything so she's rolling in it Jimmy: but 'til he gives her money for surgery you're prettier than her Jimmy: & now you've got me so 🗡 Janis: Don't fuck her, yeah? Janis: It must be how she gets her power 'cos she's got no interest in actually being with you, she just has a list of like every boy in Dublin or some shit she's working through Jimmy: even if she has surgery, I have standards, I told you Janis: Good Janis: even if you're a bit of a prick, hate to see you go like that Janis: 🐍 eat you when she's done Jimmy: I'd rather my 🍆 stays attached to me Jimmy: more use than my head Janis: What's more #bae Janis: agree or disagree? 🤔 Jimmy: take it to a twitter poll Janis: I think they've got a bias rn though, after that pic Janis: say something dead brainy, babe Jimmy: too northern for that Jimmy: do it for me & say I did Janis: It's weird when you're #humble Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: gonna fuck with you when you find out that's the real me Janis: Coulda kept that in the vault, I'd never know Jimmy: Like I said, you'd find out Janis: You not planning on deleting me when this is all over then? Jimmy: Probably but there's still this thing called IRL Jimmy: Can't bin school off yet Janis: Oh, where I'm at my most social, 'course Janis: you barely knew I existed 'til now I think we'll be fine 😏 Jimmy: Don't be gutted Jimmy: I know your name now & everything Janis: Yeah was so sat there praying for the day Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: what are you actually gonna wear Janis: not saying we should be THAT fake couple and co-ord but Jimmy: hadn't given it any real thought Jimmy: what's the party dress code in leprechaun land? Janis: depends who you are and who they are Janis: don't wanna be try hard Janis: probably can't show up in my gym clothes, though Jimmy: who am I & who are they, babe? Janis: you know who you are Janis: leather jackets ain't just for your baes, obviously Janis: idk who this kid is exactly but he lives in a normal neighbourhood so he's not like dead posh or anything Jimmy: there's your answer then Jimmy: easy 😍 Jimmy: only challenge is me finding the place Janis: I better hang about then after I've walked the dog Janis: probably more #goals to go together anyway Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: smoothie? Jimmy: You should eat so you don't get dead drunk again Janis: 'Scuse me Janis: I was not Jimmy: You were Jimmy: & don't bring a jacket so you can wear mine that's gotta be #goals Janis: Just mad it went unnoticed that I was in the dog walking 'gram Janis: too 💕 for them all, baby Jimmy: just don't get as pissed tonight Jimmy: you might let everyone know how you really feel Janis: You ain't my Dad Jimmy: Nah, I'm your fake boyfriend & I'd like it if you didn't out us Jimmy: that's it Janis: I'm not going to because I wasn't even drunk and I won't be tonight Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: if you're gonna chat shit, I've got work to do Janis: I don't wanna chat to you anyway if you're gonna be shady Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Shady? Am I also slim 😂 Jimmy: top lingo, Janet Janis: 😒 you are that white Jimmy: take it up with my dad Janis: When can we have our first fake fight 'cos you're asking for it today, like Jimmy: a bit soon unless you wanna do a really hot makeup makeout Janis: Who'd want that? Janis: Shame Jimmy: the fans Janis: True Janis: but you said I've gotta show I can stand you when you ain't rocking my world so Jimmy: & you've gotta show you want me too more than just a once off Janis: Don't want much, do ya? Jimmy: It ain't about what I want Janis: You know what I mean Jimmy: I know you keep saying you'll do this easy Jimmy: So stop whinging Janis: I ain't Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you liked whelan's then, yeah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'll probably go back Janis: good Janis: i knew you would, it's alright Jimmy: seeing as you know me so well you can find me a real girl to date when this is over Janis: ha Janis: jog on Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: go on Jimmy: it'd be a laugh to see who you'd pick if nowt else Janis: not a dyke, remember? Jimmy: didn't say you had to join in with us, did I? Janis: shut up Janis: what do i know about girls Janis: not a real one, am i Jimmy: what do you reckon you are then? My dream Jimmy: Piss off Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: you're real Janis: You said it, not me Jimmy: What? Janis: 'you can find me a real girl to date' Jimmy: I meant a girl to not fake date Janis: whatever Jimmy: come on, Janis Janis: don't matter Janis: forget it Jimmy: don't wanna Janis: don't be a dick Janis: if you didn't mean it you didn't Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: So don't you be a dickhead Janis: What the fuck have I done? Jimmy: acting shady Jimmy: to use your top lingo Janis: 😑 you clearly don't know what that means Jimmy: nah I don't Jimmy: it's bollocks Jimmy: reckon you made it up just then Janis: not that deep undercover than we need our own language Jimmy: good 'cause I ain't sure I'd keep up Jimmy: proper cryptic you Irish Janis: 🖕 Janis: how's that for cryptic? Janis: gobshite Jimmy: 😂 Janis: I'm not finding you a girlfriend Janis: Ruin your own life Jimmy: Alright, leave me to my own devices so I can find another girl who prefers old blokes Jimmy: on your head Janis: If it keeps you from becoming a baby daddy, aren't I doing you/the world a massive service, really, like Jimmy: if that keeps you warm, mate, tell yourself it Jimmy: I'll be shivering 'cause left out in the cold 🎻 Janis: Catch me and Pete laughing at you whilst we fuck on a huge pile of money in our mcmansion Janis: #thedream Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: I've seen him concentrating when he makes a latte I don't need to think about his face when he's going at it Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: get in his inbox to live that dream Janis: Can't be having my fake mans and real in the same place Janis: mixing business and pleasure always a no Jimmy: he won't say owt Jimmy: tell him you're down to cheat Janis: thanks for your permission 😂 Jimmy: don't care, do I? Jimmy: just keep it off the 'gram Janis: You might have endless faith in him but I don't Janis: everyone knows everyone's business around here 🙄 Jimmy: if you cheat I ain't lost owt Jimmy: go on Jimmy: save me a break up Janis: I don't think so Janis: I get to come out of this looking good, that was part of the deal Jimmy: We can change it easy Jimmy: & anyway who says pete ain't a trade up Janis: Nah Janis: Deal's a deal, I'm sticking to my side of it Jimmy: You've done it Jimmy: been proven those girls ain't my type Janis: If that was true we wouldn't be going tonight Janis: we ain't done here Jimmy: we ain't done for you Jimmy: but if you reckon you've got a better offer, take it Janis: Don't use this as an excuse Janis: you know I don't Jimmy: an excuse for what? Janis: For not wanting to help me out now we've sorted your side of it out Jimmy: I've said I'll do it Jimmy: like I said, not about what I want Janis: I know you don't want it alright Janis: it doesn't have to be much longer Jimmy: just don't fuck Pete Jimmy: I still have to work with him Jimmy: & I don't want the pisstake Janis: I'm not going to Janis: I've literally not spoken to him before Jimmy: then don't speak to him Janis: Um bit far, am I only allowed to order smoothies from you? Jimmy: CG isn't the only shit coffee shop around Jimmy: why come in after this? Janis: so I'm banned now, jesus Janis: fine Janis: I don't even drink coffee Jimmy: I can't ban you Jimmy: not the manager Janis: but you would if you could? Janis: well that's lovely Jimmy: so you would come in for coffee & a chat after I've fake dumped you? 👌 Janis: You're actually such a prick Janis: 1. I'M dumping YOU Janis: 2. You were actually serious that you're gonna delete me? Avoid me forever too? Very mature Jimmy: I'm gonna delete everyone Jimmy: not just you Jimmy: why do you care? like you said, didn't know each other existed before Janis: You're gonna have no friends, whole time you're here then Jimmy: hopefully Jimmy: what you're offering now, are you? Janis: no one good enough for you, yeah? Janis: not now I know Janis: don't worry Jimmy: you were the one warning me not to turn into 'em like a day ago Jimmy: didn't realise the real you was a cheerleader of leprechaun town Janis: Piss off Jimmy: that's the plan Jimmy: wear the uniform tonight though, the fans will love it Janis: It's going to take you ages you may as well try and tolerate it whilst you're here Jimmy: You don't have to outdo my dad on the fatherly advice Jimmy: not part of the deal Janis: Exactly, you're not gonna leave your brother and sister here Janis: so it's years, not months Jimmy: that's assuming any of us are gonna stay here Jimmy: he keeps jobs slightly longer than girlfriends but don't go mad, like Janis: Yeah great, hinge your masterplan on his lack of Janis: I hope it all works out for you, really Jimmy: I don't need a masterplan this is my real life not a fake dating plot Janis: Fuck you Janis: Act like it then, you live here right now, get over it Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You've lived here longer Jimmy: where's your friends? Janis: What's it matter 'bout me? Jimmy: you're dishing it out like I gotta be living my best life Jimmy: sort yours Janis: Again, this isn't about me Janis: you're not me Jimmy: & you ain't me, sweetheart Jimmy: you don't know what I want so don't tell me Janis: Don't fucking talk to me like that Jimmy: likewise Janis: Fine, be miserable Janis: like you said, why do I care Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Fuck me knowing what you want, I hope you work it out Jimmy: I have Janis: Good for you Jimmy: dead patronising you Jimmy: Love that Janis: I'm not the one throwing out sweethearts like it's the 70s Jimmy: Nah, you're just the one judging me when all you know is my name basically Jimmy: starting to see your sister's POV now Jimmy: bit of a nightmare, aren't you? Janis: Go fuck her then Jimmy: I don't want to Jimmy: but tah for the permission Janis: Literally drop dead Janis: I never once judged you and it's fucking rich you taking issue when all you do is judge everyone here all the time Jimmy: just 'cause you're a girl don't mean you can talk me like that & then tell me how to talk to you Janis: like what Janis: you talk to me like a piece of shit Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: Great Janis: Bye Jimmy: not bye, see you in a bit Jimmy: unless you're bailing Janis: you reckon i'm in the party mood Janis: really Jimmy: not what I asked Jimmy: don't matter how you really feel, does it? Janis: you're a sociopath, awesome Jimmy: no idea Jimmy: but alright fuck the party, don't bother me Janis: nah, 'course, nothing does Jimmy: nowt that's any of your business Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll still walk the dog it isn't her fault Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: you'll still need the keys Jimmy: won't throw 'em at you not very #goals Janis: I don't care anymore Janis: who am I impressing, like you said Jimmy: when? Janis: You know Janis: I've got no friends, I'm a nightmare Janis: 🎻 Janis: the list goes on Jimmy: that's not what they're seeing Jimmy: just me 🎻 Jimmy: you've impressed everyone else Janis: Please Janis: you're so smart now Jimmy: It don't take much Janis: Exactly Janis: Jig is probably up Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: you know it's working Janis: Yeah not now I hate you Jimmy: you didn't love me before Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: call it off Janis: I'm not coming out of this like this Janis: you don't have to see me Janis: I'll make it work myself Jimmy: 👌 Janis: just tell me how you wanna sound Jimmy: I don't care Jimmy: do it how you want Janis: is it wise to give me such free reign Janis: nightmare i am Jimmy: you heard me Jimmy: don't matter Janis: You reckon I shouldn't care? Jimmy: I'm saying I don't Janis: No one's judging you anyway Jimmy: feel free to change that Janis: I'm not that much of a bitch Janis: thanks Jimmy: not on the 'gram anyway Janis: Fuck you Janis: I was being nice Jimmy: 'til I told you not to fuck Pete Jimmy: If I knew that was the dealbreaker I wouldn't have said nowt Janis: No, 'til you asked me to find you a girlfriend, called me not a girl Janis: then fucking agreed with my sister Jimmy: I told you, I never said you weren't a girl Jimmy: & I weren't serious about the girlfriend thing Janis: Whatever Janis: I don't even know if that's his name so it isn't about that Jimmy: alright Janis: It ain't alright Janis: I wasn't serious either you didn't have to take it like that and make it into this thing Jimmy: I seriously don't want you to fuck my co-workers Jimmy: that's all I said Janis: I'm not going to! Janis: I don't even want to Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: don't matter now Janis: Why not Jimmy: 'cause this is finished Jimmy: we don't need to keep chatting 'bout it Janis: Why is it a problem if I'm not gonna do it Jimmy: it ain't Janis: Then stop being a dick Jimmy: You stop being a dick Janis: dickhead Jimmy: You're the dickhead Janis: Oh my God Janis: stop Jimmy: just break it off Jimmy: I've got work to do Janis: Come on Janis: you're really dedicated now you don't wanna talk to me Jimmy: why would I? Jimmy: if we aren't going to the party what is there to chat about? Janis: well we could Janis: but fine Jimmy: you don't wanna either Jimmy: you hate me now, remember? Janis: Well you never liked me apparently so can't be offended Jimmy: yeah I can Janis: It's not fair, that's bullshit Jimmy: you hating me is not the same as me not knowing you Janis: maybe i'm being slightly dramatic Jimmy: go for it Jimmy: like I said, don't matter Janis: No Janis: Shut up being annoying Janis: let's go to the party Jimmy: I don't reckon that's a good idea Janis: Why not Jimmy: not in the running for an oscar, are we? Janis: alright Janis: i'll go by myself i guess Jimmy: that's a worse idea Jimmy: get it together, Jasmine Janis: Why? Jimmy: You're a pisshead & you need me Janis: 😑 Janis: well then you have to come Janis: I'm going Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: when? Janis: Whenever you've done what you've gotta do at Home Janis: I'm already on the bus to get the keys Jimmy: I just have to get the bribes in Jimmy: come with Jimmy: we can get drinks for the party or whatever Janis: I get it, all the sugar Janis: alright Janis: just don't try to palm me off with alcopops Jimmy: piss off would I Jimmy: I don't hate you Janis: tah 😏 you do reckon I can't handle my drink though Janis: which is just untrue Jimmy: you couldn't Jimmy: that's all I've got to go off Jimmy: prove me wrong tonight if you're that mad 'bout it Janis: What did I do? Janis: because I have evidence of YOU licking MY face, thanks snapchat Jimmy: FOR snapchat Jimmy: you were being nice to me when the camera weren't on Janis: How dare I 🙄 Janis: make it sound like I was tryna jump you Jimmy: nowt like that Jimmy: you were just Jimmy: fuck knows, mate Janis: ominous Janis: maybe i won't drink Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: challenge turned down? 👌 Janis: 😠 No Janis: you got me paranoid now though Jimmy: not trying to get in your head so I'll win or owt Jimmy: nah Janis: 😒 Jimmy: for real though that weren't how I wanted that to sound Jimmy: it was fun Jimmy: you weren't a total dickhead like usual, that's it Janis: so what you're really saying is Janis: I should make a habit of it? Janis: cool Janis: I thought you meant I was white girl wasted then I'd have to kms, obviously Jimmy: I'm saying if I were gonna hate you, I couldn't then 'cause you were alright Jimmy: calm down Janis: Awh babe Jimmy: what the fuck is white girl wasted? Janis: If Gracie or any of her mates are at this party, hopefully not, you'll get to see Janis: the girls who are screaming 'this is my song!' to every other shit song Janis: and lose their shoes and shit and end up sobbing hysterically on a poor bouncer or something Jimmy: that don't exist up north, lasses drink like lads Jimmy: I'll have to take you Jimmy: learn something, Jemima Janis: you can't say the north has a better drinking  culture than ireland Janis: that's literally all we're known for excuse you Jimmy: I reckon I just did Jimmy: am I gonna get cursed now? Janis: Think you're gonna get deported so you'll be buzzin' on that Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: they aren't gonna be at the party are they? Janis: Nah, would've seen all the annoying getting ready and pre-drinks stories by now Jimmy: thank feck as you 🍀 say Jimmy: fun as it'd be to get that angry vein going in Mia's head again Janis: Please never say that again but do 'cos I wanna hear wtf it'd sound like in your accent 😂 Janis: she's DYING for round two Jimmy: I'll whisper it in your ear later if you pretend I'm saying something #goals Janis: Deal Jimmy: Just don't piss yourself laughing I don't need everyone reckoning my chat is that bad Janis: 🎭 Janis: I'll be so into it it'll be awkward for everyone else Janis: 💪 Jimmy: yeah alright Jane fonda just try & look like you're dying for round two 😍💕 Jimmy: maybe there'll be a room we can fake fuck in Janis: What are house parties for Janis: besides easier underage drinking, obviously Jimmy: as long as Mia ain't there to listen at the door Janis: I refuse to fake an orgasm for her the cunt you'd have to actually just fuck me Jimmy: I'll just take you home if she shows up Jimmy: pretend like I'm anti-fucking in strangers houses Jimmy: like its a northern thing or summat Janis: 😂 Polite, very anti-you Janis: but it works Jimmy: there's only so much convincing fakery I could let you do before it'd just sound hot Jimmy: not part of the deal for me to be into it Janis: Yeah Janis: Only human Jimmy: 🐍 quota in these parts is full Janis: Truly Janis: Don't tell Paddy, he'll be fuming Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: better get more smokes if you're sharing Jimmy: remind me Janis: Should get my own, least pay you half Jimmy: call it my being a dickhead tax Jimmy: besides, people were into it Jimmy: new #goals Janis: You make it look good Janis: no one needs to know you get out of breath on a dog walk Jimmy: you give then you take away Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: next time tweet the first bit & leave off the second Janis: I already did that story, no caption necessary Janis: can't have you thinking I'm too nice again and going weird on me Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: Are we meant to do getting ready snaps or are you not white enough? Janis: God no Janis: 'less we're being all extra about how much we don't wanna leave bed, like Jimmy: we could Jimmy: I zip up your...dress? but you take off my shirt Jimmy: make it sexy Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 😂 Janis: this is just going to get confusing Janis: end up leaving half undressed but not in the intentional way Jimmy: no then? Janis: nah, we can Janis: means having to take less there so we can lowkey have a decent time still Jimmy: almost like you now Jimmy: 'cause that's a top plan Janis: Gimme time Janis: not a fan of almosts like go all in and hate me or you know Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: what are you wearing not heavy breathing way? Jimmy: in a* Janis: Thanks for clarifying Janis: I put a few options in my bag, I'd ask a girl but you know Janis: You'll have to do Jimmy: I am out of breath but 🚬 not burning desire Jimmy: piss off I'm better Jimmy: I'll tell you what looks hot Jimmy: 😍 not bitchy side eye Janis: #truelove Janis: #lastsalifetime #inyourlungs Janis: Good, can always get that from your sister if I'm missing it Jimmy: You're getting too decent at #s gonna have to dump you 💔 Janis: #damn Jimmy: Stop Janis: #gonnamissmewhenimgone Jimmy: #Janis please Jimmy: if you make me laugh I could keel over 🚬 remember Janis: When bae calls you a health risk 😍 Jimmy: #goals right Jimmy: love you so much its gonna kill me Janis: mhmm Janis: i told ya, just got the organ wrong Janis: no 💔 going for the lungs Jimmy: just leave my 🍆 out of it & like my head I ain't too concerned Jimmy: least I got a pair of lungs Janis: are you saying i have 🍆 envy Janis: cos that's even older than the dyke line tbh i expect better from you Jimmy: let me know when I streak through the party Janis: 😂 Janis: Will do Jimmy: don't say nowt if you don't 'cause 💔 Jimmy: it ain't my party to cry at Janis: Poor boy Janis: Just tryna seem nonchalant 'cos already meant to have seen it, duh Jimmy: try & seem 😍 like you can't get enough of it though Jimmy: tah very much Janis: Okay you want drooling Janis: got it Jimmy: if you can Janis: Don't doubt me, just your ability to bring it Janis: kinda cold Jimmy: where I'm from this is summer temps Jimmy: don't worry 'bout me, girl Janis: Then we won't have a problem Jimmy: nah Jimmy: & if anyone asks, I'm thinking 'bout you #muse Janis: I think they'll have more pressing questions Janis: like, what the fuck? Jimmy: that's how it is in 🍀 Jimmy: boring feckers Janis: 😂 Janis: maybe after you've been there and had a few Jimmy: I won't find them boring? Jimmy: or I will Janis: saying you taking your kit off would be craic and not a sign of something wrong Janis: they'll still be pretty dry Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: can I leave here yet? it's rivaling in the boredom stakes Jimmy: come back Mia, some mildly annoying shit you've done is forgiven Jimmy: nowt else Janis: Shh Janis: come meet me off bus Janis: #romance Jimmy: alright Jimmy: you sold it to me Janis: 💕 Soft Jimmy: give me the kiss of life if I look like I'm going Jimmy: 'cause you know I'll 🚬 & walk Janis: 😏 Janis: Giving the OAPs on here a show Jimmy: love our new audience 💕 Janis: always a bitchy one though, i 👀 you grandmia Jimmy: probably is her nan Jimmy: does she have a face like 🍋 Janis: Chewing wasps forreal Janis: though I think Mia just rose up from the pits of hell by herself so Jimmy: get her number for my ex Janis: 😂 Janis: so thoughtful Jimmy: her status updates have been harrowing mate Jimmy: reckon Barry's playing away 💔🎻 Janis: Oh no Janis: typical Barry move Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: near end of life crisis Janis: Stop making me laugh I'm getting looks Jimmy: payback for before when you near ended my life Jimmy: could be worse least I'm not turning you on with the mention of him Janis: War flashbacks, like Jimmy: you got it, JoJo Janis: 💔 Janis: I don't get it but you do you Janis: true love and all that, I guess Jimmy: You don't get wanting to fuck an old bloke? Jimmy: Me either Janis: 😏 OMG we get it, you're straight Janis: it's me they got the questions about, not you Jimmy: so far Jimmy: but Pete is gonna need consoling for his 💔 Janis: 🙄 don't drag me into this Janis: find yourself a girl and him a mans Jimmy: so nah to the threesome? 👌 I'll let him know Janis: You don't wanna see his cum face Jimmy: I'll look at the back of his head Janis: Alright, glad you've worked out the logistics Janis: be rude to make him stay under the pillow Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in or out? Janis: whey Janis: long as it don't count 'cos threeways don't Jimmy: 'course Janis: 👍 Jimmy: #romance Janis: you know it Janis: real test faking it to that level, no matter how thick he is Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: we've got this baby 💕 Janis: Poor Pete Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: you see me yet? Janis: Hold on, lemme try and remember what you look like Jimmy: You ain't that good at faking it, Justine Jimmy: #unforgettable Janis: You'll be huffy when you find me chatting to the wrong white boy Jimmy: Nah I'll just smack him Jimmy: #goals like Janis: 😏 Janis: There you are Jimmy: 😘