#would you fuck?
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I know this is a tiny part of the wider problems born of diet culture, fatphobia, classism, and racism but like god the idea that "healthy" food must inherently taste bad has completely ruined us as a society.
#MR. KELLOGG I WOULD LIKE A FUCKING WORD#beating this man's fucking corpse with a broom#I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR POOP AND WEIRD CHRISTIAN NONSENSE NOW EVERYONE THINKS PLEASURE IS BAD FOR YOU#KILLING AND BITING AND MAIMING
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"objectively physically attractive but in possession of negative rizz" is one of my favorite character concepts. i think it's so great when there's an absurdly hot person who's just a complete fucking loser. the mood is unsalvageable the moment they open their mouth kind of deal. you get no bitches because you're so sucks.
#🐉#this is abt terror amc fitzy btw. nobody wants to fuck you you are annooooooying!#like i simply would not hit that you could NOT persuade me to endure it
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So, there's a lot of USians around who are very clearly fucking fed up with their political choices this election cycle, and planning to sit it out.
And I get it! What's the point of voting if there's no one to vote for?
The thing is, I'm Australian. In Australia, voting is compulsory. We don't get to sit out our elections, and I'll be real honest with you - we don't exactly get better choices than you lot. So how do you vote if there's no one to vote for? You find someone to vote against. And there's always someone to vote against.
Now, we have the pleasure of preferential voting in Australia - We get to rank every candidate from 1 to X, and I'll tell you, there's something so cathartic about putting the biggest bastard of the lot at the very bottom of your preferences. I understand that USians don't get that option - you get to mark one person, and that's it.
That means that you get one shot, so aim it at the biggest bastard of the lot. The candidate you most utterly detest. Put your vote in the worst possible place for them. Don't even think about who that vote's going towards, that's not the point. Remember, every vote is a vote against someone. Make sure you fuck up that someone's election day!
#politics#american politics#voting#australian voting#if you can't be proud be petty#your vote can always fuck up a politician's day#why would you ever give up such an opportunity?
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Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.
All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.
#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day#and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back.#he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi#he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes#but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them.#and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him.#your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back.#i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently
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had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing
#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny#I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh#@ staff do this cowards#spy has thoughts#my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track#functional website#spy's smash hits#Glock function#edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped'#I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this#but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up#I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one
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It is the middle of a Sunday afternoon. You have nothing on, and aren't expecting visitors, deliveries or post.
Unexpectedly, there is a knock at the door.
you are greeted by...... her
#fairy vs walrus#walrus vs fairy#walrus#why is this so well textured its fucking shitpost art#like why cant i pull this off in my normal art it had to be the walrus fairy#meme art#things that would give people outside of tumblr a heart attack#maybe#has the fairy vs walrus debate breached containment yet#also that generic girl i drew ended up looking a lot like how i look irl (yes i look like an npc)#also that door is unreasonably large but i needed you to be able to see the walrus in all her glory#i wanted it to be bigger so you could see her wings#fairy walrus#dragon draws creatures
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Guys.
Y’all.
I…
I just. I just… i have discovered something. And I have laughed too much. I have laughed every time I have tried to explain it to someone. I cannot get through this.
Look. Okay.
There are two things you need to know, here.
First: There’s a style of Greek pottery that was popular during the Hellenic period, for which most of the surviving examples are from southern Italy. We call them ‘fish plates’ because, well, they’re plates, and they’re decorated with fish (and other marine life).
Like this one, currently in the Met:
Or this one, currently in the Cleveland Museum of Art:
They’re very cool. We’re not 100% sure what they were for, because most of the surviving ones were found as grave goods, but that’s a different post.
The second thing you need to know is that when we (Classics/archaeology/whatever as a discipline) have a collection of artefacts, like vases, sculptures, paintings, etc. and we do not know the name of the artist, but we’re pretty sure one artist made X, Y and Z artefacts, we come up with a name for that artist. There are a whole bunch of things that could be the source for the name, e.g. where we found most of their work (The Dipylon Master) or the potter with whom they worked (the Amasis Painter), a favourite theme (The Athena Painter), the Museum that ended up with the most famous thing they did (The Berlin Painter) or a notable aspect of their style. Like, say, The Eyebrow Painter.
Guess what kind of pottery the Eyebrow Painter made?
#tagamemnon#fischteller#can you fucking imagine?#like other painters trying to explain to him that fish don’t have eyebrows#and he’s just like ‘fuck you all at least my fish have SOULS.’#and people bought them???#other people were also like ‘FUCK YEAH EYEBROW FISH!!!’#other people like me.#I would 100000% buy the eyebrow fish
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Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin
(AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)
It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.
Bonus:
#My art#One Piece#Nico Robin#Sir Crocodile#Y'all the OP brainrot is BAD#According to an SBS Crocodile would absolutely spoil his child rotten if he had one. *We all know how Robin's childhood went*#Scary mofo who does not know how to parent a child but boy does he have the spirit + Child who has never had proper parent in her life#They'd make. An absolute disaster of a duo. This AU concept is so fucking funny to me okay#But also sad because I would fucking die for baby Robin she deserves the fucking world#This poor girl has never been spoiled in her entire life AND NOW PAPADILE IS HERE TO SPOIL HER#You know it's funny. I know 11 yo Robin should LOOK older than 8 year old Robin. But Crocodile is a fucking giant so she's still baby sized#Also I just had too much fun drawing Robin looking as pathetic as humanly possible lmao#She's a like a wet kitten in the rain 😭
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So... a bunch of NFT grifters threw a party in Hong Kong this weekend and reportedly a bunch of attendees are now at risk of permanent eyesight damage because the promoters used unsafe lighting, and people are going to the ER...
#jfc#I mean I know crypto is a fucking grift#but I kind of didn't think it would PHYSICALLY harm the idiots who invested in it#literally can't believe the last poster#like.... at what point DO you stop sucking these guys' dicks??!?#AFTER they blind you?!? WTF
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"before you stop a customer from shoplifting, consider they may really need the item and can't afford it"
#those posts confuse me because why would you stop anyone in the first place#who gives a fuck about the company
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Yes, Greece still exists, we didn't all die 2000 years ago. Yes, people speak Greek. You people are so fucking stupid for real. So many of you claim to love ancient shit but can't even acknowledge the actual living culture of the people whose mythology and classics you romanticize. You keep leaving annoying comments about how you just forget Greek people still exist, thinking you're being quirky because you love ancient stuff soooo much that you forgot about the people it came from. You think about it so little you don't even realize that an actual Greek person has to read this shit, making it clear how little you actually care about the culture beyond the romanticized (and westernized) mythology. Don't claim you love Greece, don't use our mythology anymore if you can't acknowledge that we're still around without making it about how little you think about us. It's mind boggling that you'd think a Greek person would read this and think you're anything but obnoxious. Explode.
#this post is edited because you're all annoying. maybe I'll turn it back someday#it sucks that people can't even be normal about a funny family story once the fact that we're greek comes into the fold#suddenly its all about blorbofied mythology shit and idiots saying ''GREECE IS REAL???? 🤯🤯🤯🤯'' yeah percy j*ckson didnt make it up#maybe it would be less annoying if they weren't all saying it like I'd think it's funny that they don't know we exist instead of like#disturbing on a personal level. like what the fuck#man if you can't acknowledge we exist in real life just name your oc Icarus something else idgaf#so yeah explode. Skase. Voulos'to. Valto mesa sto katamalakismeno mouni tis mana's sou. Psophise. etc.
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#meme#if you dont understand this you probably have really boring shitty sex#not sorry#oml one of my stupid vanilla friends is arguing with me about this#he says because top and dom usually coexist means theyre basicslly synonymous#no#hes dumb and if he didnt live in canada id punch him#thank god i never fucked this guy it would be so boring
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I remember discussing Tintin casting choices with a friend from Germany and remarked how it was odd he often has an English accent in adaptations rather than a Belgian one, and my friend just replied "that's because Tintin gives incredibly strong English boy energy (derogatory)"
Here in the UK there's a lot of weird classism tied into accents. Today accent diversity and representation in broadcasting is actively pursued but in Tintin's time there certainly was a preferred accent to have.
imagine this exchange happens between pages 28-29 in The Crab with the Golden Claws
#tintin#adventures of tintin#comic#captain haddock#archibald haddock#snowy#milou#fanart#the crab with the golden claws#i remember tintin crafting a trumpet to communicate with an elephant#and he remarks he must get the accent correct#very odd scenario but it shows he would be a stickler for that sort of thing#i also have to say accents do not indicate how smart someone is#a lot of pundits use an english accent to sound more credible#but i have to say there are a lot of fucking idiots here#me included#thank you 2011 film for validating my scottish haddock headcanon#any french speakers who have read to this point i wonder what your hcs are for his french speaking accent
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Fat people deserve mobility aids, too. No matter if it's connected to their fatness or not, because having a mobility issue that is connected to one's fatness won't change that they're still fat and still have the issue at hand. Fat people don't deserve to "tough it out" because fatness should be this divine punishment doled out to those who "deserve" it. Fat disabled people deserve to have the peace of mind that they can exist in whatever way is most comfortable and accessible to them
#disability#ableism#ableism tw#fatphobia#fatphobia tw#also if it's an issue solved by weight loss why would you want them to suffer until the weight loss helps wouldn't that DISCOURAGE them?#because if i were suffering the entire time i sure as fuck wouldn't want to keep going for the ~idea~ of it's gonna pay off!!!#also even if they 'made themself disabled' by being fat or anything else that doesn't matter. they're still disabled.#there is no 'good' disabled and 'bad' disabled and you cannot sort people into those categories#for every 'bad' fat disabled person there are multiple 'good' fat disabled people but you can't tell them apart often actually!#because you would have to know the intimate details of their medical history and familial lineage and tbh if you're...#...being a piece of shit to a disabled person because you assume they're guilty until proven innocent i don't blame others for being...#...weary of you and not wanting to be around you. because you've already proven you can't handle the IDEA of complex disabled experience
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there should be a sex ed program called ‘are you fucking serious’
#I think it would be funny#you need to be fucking serious. fucking silly can#lead to unwanted consequences
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@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you
edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally
#dashboard#staff#tumblr update#comic#art#doodles#costco ceo about the price of a hot dog.png#i refuse to believe this is a real problem that site owners think people have#frankly i refuse to believe people had this issue with deviantart before eclipse#i am sorry you have to put about 15 minutes of effort into understanding a new website. feel better soon#my main blog doesn't have it yet but i logged into here to make this post and. i have it#this is fucking terrible. it would ahve been really really funny for april fools day but not as a permanent change#i hate it a Lot. i hate it so fucking much. oh . my god.#edit - guys i amnot actually sending de*th threats to staff it's the costco hot dog meme
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