#which would be equal grounds with the vampires even though he isnt one
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i dont think i will ever be over nandor tying guillermos cape with such care and focus. that moment its possibly my favourite from the finale NANDOR ACTS OF SERVICE GUY MAKES ME WANNA CLIMB A WALL and the way hes putting guillermo on equal ground now makes my heart grow 3 sizes
and to be honest i dont think they can go back to where they were before. for anyone whos worried. like yeah he told him “now clean up the body” after he reverted back to human but to me that was more like nandors brain going like. “i cooked now you clean”. he went through such a tremendous amount of work to help guillermo. he had the empathy to recognise the problem. he thought it through concocted a plan. he got the robes and the candles and he painted and hung those banners. he held a fakeass ceremony with all their friends and elders so it looked official. he then also comforted guillermo when he couldnt do it and staked derek himself without a second thought. so maybe its was more of a. i pulled you out of a very hairy situation. can you take care of the body now? (also it IS gonna be hard to let go of certain habits so maybe some comments like this are gonna slip out next season, but that is just because they are useless and in guillermos absence the house fucking imploded in one year lmao… maybe guillermo is gonna teach them how to take care of it themselves next season so they can split the workload and cute shenanigans will ensue)
i just dont think it was mean spirited on nandors part tbh. LAZLO even offered to help. i dont think that was just to have him in the next scene i dont think an unusual detail like that could be just for convenience. i do FULLY believe they are gonna all be on equal grounds next season. and thats gonna be so fucking delicious to me specifically
#to see a nandor and guillermo dynamic where nandor has freed himself from the inibitions of a master familiar dynamic? sign me up#he was so fucking warm and caring after he forgave him and idk if i can handle it GOD I LOVE IT#nandermo#what we do in the shadows#wwdits#wwdits spoilers#comment#im making a post out of some of my tags in one of my queued posts bc i#want to put this thought out in the world#i saw a lot of people going now that guillermos human everythings back to the status quo!!! and im like#no the fuck i hope not!! their relationship has consistently moved in a new direction each season#familiar. bodyguard. best man. best friend. now they went through allllll the trouble of showing them having an equals relationship#they made nandor utter the words he will be living in this house as an equal from now on#and next season everythings gonna revert back?? i surely hope not#there is also to be considered from nandors standpoint that now guillermo truly has no more reason to stay. he really isnt a#familiar anymore because he presumably doesnt want to be a vampire anymore (?) so he has to consider#if he wants guillermo to stick around. its gonna have to be out of the love he has for them. and nandor needs to give him an incentive#which would be equal grounds with the vampires even though he isnt one#and guillermo is probably gonna be in such an existential crisis mode that hes not even gonna notice all the cute things nandor is doing#for him now for a WHILE. until he does and thats gonna be delicious#anyway. why do i keep making excellent points in the tags this could have been a post
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29 Neibolt ST (Monster Roommate AU) CH 27
FINALLY FINISHED THIS!! So the monsters try really hard to figure out why they aren't monsters any more. Turns out they cant focus for five minutes without going off on a weird tangent about washing machines and butts. Papawise is gonna have to try to get these idiots to be productive. Good luck papa you’re gonna need it.
CH 27
Focusing is Hard
“Are we going to address this human problem now?”
Freddy and Drac sat on the couch already breaking into Chucky’s beer stash as Leech plopped herself onto Robert’s lap on the loveseat. the former clown brought a long arm around her and nuzzled his nose into her drying hair. “Mmm you smell just like me” he growled. “I wonder why” Leech giggled and kissed his jaw line. Freddy nearly gagged.
“*AHEM* SO is that a no on the problem solving then?” he asked the ex-nosferatu.
“Fred like either of us have any idea how this happened at all.”
“Well did you two do anything? I dunno like did you activate some curse or something? Maybe pissed off a witch?”
“What witch is powerful enough to turn Pennywise human? Let alone a whole town full of over powered evil.” Leech crossed her legs over the side of the chair getting comfy.
“I love it when you call me powerful.” Robert beamed with pride from having his ego stroked.
“Focus Bob” She scolded him.
As they discussed their options there was a clatter in the basement followed by a wheeze. Everyone froze solid looking at eachother and back down the hall. “Do we go investigate?” the nosferatu asked hesitantly.
“Isn’t that usually how humans get killed by us?” Freddy grumbled.
“Holy shit being on the other side of the horror movie sucks balls” Leech picked up a beer bottle in defence peering down the hall.
“I’ll go. You all would be such easy targets.” Robert rolled his eyes. His companions’ fears starting to annoy him.
“Like hell you are! We all know what happens when the prey splits up!” Leech grabbed his arm before he could march into any more danger.
“Lets just all go together then. Can’t be anything too terrible with everyone being turned human.” Freddy handed Dracula a broken piece of wood who glanced over at his roommate in confusion.
“We’re so going to die” the ex nosferatu groaned.
The former monsters approached the door leading to the basement where they could hear more panting and wheezing which seemed to get louder and louder. Leech hesitantly opened the door which made an extremely ominous creak causing the ex-vampire to grip her bottle tighter. They peered into the basement, everyone silently cursing Penny for making his house as equally scary as himself. Something wet and dark flopped out of the well gasping like a fish out of water. Robert felt both his arms get grabbed by Leech and Freddy at once while Drac clung to his roommate from behind. The weight of 3 grown adults clinging to his silk robe like baby sloths nearly pulled the former eldritch to the ground and he gave them all an angry scowl. “Really?!” he hissed. The wet thing began to stand it looked like a person, a very tired and pissed off person.
“I just walked for MILES through the freezing sewer, so you MORONS better tell me what the hell is going on right now or there will be consequences!” they said.
The man finally came into view. He looked quite different without the giant red nose.
“U-Uncle Penny?” Leech stuttered the man rung out the wet shirt he had clearly killed someone for as there was a large blood stain on the collar.
“This is what you look like as humans? Jesus Junior those pants tight enough?”
“Theyre Freddy’s…” Robert looked off to the side.
“Actually I think those are mine!” Leech pulled at his pants to inspect the pocket “Yeah theres the hole in the pocket!”
“Leechie why does Krueger have your pants?” If Robert still had fangs theyd be out.
“Oh calm down Fred and I swap clothes all the time.” she waved him off and rolled her eyes at his jealousy.
“Yeah Fangs does laundry at our place cause you won’t get a washer dryer”
“There’s a wash tub right over there!” Robert snarled at the former dream demon in annoyance. First it was wifi and microwaves now its modern washing machines! How is anyone going to be scared when they walk into the haunted house on Neibolt if theyre greeted with the scent of clean laundry and hot pockets.
“The 1800s were over a long ass time ago Bob!” Leech complained she had been trying to get him to change his mind on this for weeks now.
“I am trying to cultivate an atmosphere that generates fear! Dryer sheets and laundry detergent create the opposite effect Leech!”
“Sheesh Junior you take your interior decorating a bit too seriously.” his uncle rolled his eyes at his younger counterpart.
“Will all of you please drop the washer/dryer thing”
“IS THE CLOWN FINALLY GETTING A WASHING MACHINE?” came Tiffany’s voice from upstairs
“Look you’re in the minority here Robert, just let us get something basic.”
“Yeah Jingles, that way Fangs will stop leaving her pants at our place.” Freddy grumbled.
“Hey now I remember you saying you liked those pants and I let you borrow them!” Leech snapped.
“Yeah alright fine. Theyre good pants, I mean look at how great Jingles’ ass looks in them!” Freddy spun Robert around and slapped his ass howling in laughter at Robert’s enraged reaction.
“O să discutăm acum despre problema noastră?” ((will we talk about our problem now?)) Dracula asked. He had no idea what anyone was saying or why they were all humans all he knew was that he wanted to get back to being immortal as soon as possible.
“I dont speak French Dracula!” Uncle Penny grumbled.
“Oh my god how does that remotely even sound like French? Its fucking Romanian!” Leech snapped at him defending her extremely confused mentor.
“Whatever. Can all of you focus for just five minutes?! That’s all I’m asking for here. As soon as we figure out why the hell I can’t shape shift you can all go back to blabbering about eachother’s butts!” The older eldritch groaned in frustration.
“Ok but you have to agree theyre great pants though!”
“FIVE MINUTES KRUEGER!”
“Pff youre asking a lot, Freddy came over to do the same thing and within the first hour we all ended up being violently attacked by the cat and Robert lost a finger.” leech held up Robert’s injured hand.
“You lost a finger Junior? How do you fuck up this bad?”
“THATS WHAT I SAID!” Tiffany yelled once again from upstairs
“By the way, there a reason the dolls arent joining us in figuring this out?” Freddy asked Leech ignoring the enraged Uncle Penny’s complaints.
“A) I dont think they want to, and B) I’m pretty sure from the Rob Zombie music blasting from their room and the creaking bed springs theyre uh..busy..” Leech said.
“Gross” Robert snarled.
“JINGLES YOU’RE NOT MUCH BETTER!” Chucky shouted down.
“Unbelievable. You couldnt even do one minute of concentration! Were never getting back to normal jesus.” The elder eldritch tilted his head up at the ceiling growing tired of the other monsters constant distractions.
“Fine where do you suggest we start because we’re all out of ideas here.” Leech snapped.
“Did you even try having any ideas in the first place?”
The monsters opened their mouths to speak and immediately closed them. Ok so maybe they haven’t been the most proactive about this.
“Can we at least take this out of the basement then and get more beer before we start? I think I’m going to develop asthma from all the dust down here.” Leech began to walk back up the stairs to the kitchen. “You boys can either join me or stay down here in the dark. I’m out.” The other monsters shrugged and followed suit.
—————-
“Ok so we need to narrow down who is powerful enough to turn an entire town of powerful entities into humans.” Uncle Penny began drinking the beer Leech had got him from Chucky’s nearly empty stash.
“I can think of no one.” the younger vampire said.
“You haven’t been with us very long Leechie.” Robert patted her on the head.
“Wait isnt today Halloween?” Freddy asked having a rare appiphany.
“Yeah so?” Uncle Penny took another long swig of the beer surpriesed that he liked it so much.
“Yeah doesnt that mean certian supernatural parties are stronger today?” Leech asked
“Oh fuck ive heard of this before. Did any of you break the rules of Halloween?” Freddy asked, he had seen something like this in another town once. People who broke tradition on Halloween that night had bad things happen to them.
“There’s rules to this holiday?” Robert raised an eyebrow and tried to drink Leech’s beer grimacing at the tast and shoving it back into her hands. Everyone turned to him and glared.
“What did you do Jingles”
“Why are you accusing me?”
“Bob what did you fucking do?”
—————-
“YOU STOLE HIS WHAT?”
“I thought he was a regular child!!” Robert snarled. He recalled a small boy in an orange scarecrow outfit in the haunted house that just was not scared of him. He tried everything eventually getting frustrated and snatching the boy’s candy bag and vanishing to go find his mate. He had no idea he had just stolen from Samhain, who for one night a year was the most powerful being in existance.
“Wait hold on you fucking stole the spirit of Halloween’s bag of candy after you couldnt scare him because your feelings were hurt!?” Leech had hopped out of his lap and pushed her hands through her hair.
“He had no fear and I couldnt just let him get away! All the candy bars had razors in them anyway..”
“Where’s the fucking bag now Robert??” She grabbed his robe in her fists.
“In my lair I was going to eat around the knives!”
“Jesus christ Junior you must have really pissed him off!”
“How do we fix this then just give him back the bag?” Freddy asked.
“That’s a start….” The ex vampire took a long drink from her beer.
“Where would we find the little brat though?” Uncle Penny asked.
“Probably where the celebrations are thickest. That’s where I’d go for a holiday about me.” Freddy added.
“Looks like were going to have to do a traditional human halloween then. Let’s get some costumes carve some pumpkins and get me another god damn drink.” Leech sighed, it was going to be a long difficult day.
—————-
“Ok so what im thinking is if the Cenobites are still throwing their big ass Halloween party then thats probably a good place to start since that thing is going to be huge. Which means if were going everyone is going to first need a costume.” Leech and the rest of the former monsters stood in the center of town finally making it out of the house.
“Yeah one, none of us were invited and two, theres going to be nothing left in the stores. Except the sexy stuff and there is no way im going as sexy thing that should never be made sexy…maybe Jingles will though that seems like his wardrobe of choice.” Freddy grumbled keeping a firm grasp on the poor overwhelmed Prince Vlad.
“Well sorry for being too tall to fit into your clothes which are made for small women” Robert sneered at the former dream demon. He was getting strange looks left and right for his overly tight pants/ pink bathrobe combo. Leech took note of it when a few girls stopped and stared while giggling amongst themselves. The ex vampire grabbed her mate’s arm glaring daggers at the women. Robert put two and two together and shot her an amused smile “Really?” he asked her. “We need to get you some real clothes” she grumbled.
“How are we getting into this party then if we weren’t invited?” Uncle Penny interrupted them. “We’re not exactly equipped for sneaking in and out of places anymore.”
“Crashing will be easy, its taking on an all powerful being as humans that will be extremely difficult.” Leech stated. she had crashed many a party in her teens when she used to deal pot to rich kids getting in wouldnt be a problem.
“And what are we gonna do when we catch the twerp? Shake and yell?” the older eldritch asked.
“I have a feeling rattling his brains and screaming at him is probably a bad way to appease the god of Halloween to change us back” Freddy added.
“Well I’m not saying I’m sorry” Robert growled. There was no way he was going to beg some young pagan god to forgive him.
“You do realise as humans we can die now right? You better fucking say youre sorry Bob” his mate scolded him.
“Seriously Jingles what if were stuck like this for a whole year?” freddy added realizing the entire monster population depended on the proudest thing in existence to admit he fucked up. They were doomed.
“I do not beg.”
“Ha! That’s a load bullshit! I’ve heard it!” Leech laughed.
“Leech! that’s….thats different…” Robert hissed
“we’ve all heard it Jingles anyone with a drain has heard it at some point.”
The former clown looked off to the side and grumbled something unintelligble.
“All right look, we need to hurry up and get something for us to wear to this thing. I’ll take the clowns. Freddy you try to handle your roommate.”
“Good luck with that.” Uncle Penny said eyeing the frantic looking prince.
“Just call me when he eventually breaks something” Leech grabbed the eldritchs and made her way to the nearest store.
—————-
“Robert what the hell is that?” both Leech and “Uncle Bob” as he decided to call himself, stared at Robert Gray in confusion as he exited a near by restroom
“You said buy a costume.”
“Ok but I thought youd get another clown costume why the hell are you Spiderman?” his mate placed her fingers over her temples. Of course hed pick out something like this.
“I’m a giant spider trapped as a man I thought it was fitting.”
“Yeah but I’m going as a ring master and…..you know what never mind, fuck me for trying” leech groaned it was hard enough to control two eldritch horrors in a crowded Halloween store already, trying to coordinate anything was off the table at this point.
“I’m going as the devil!” Uncle Bob announced proudly pointing to his horns.
“Yeah Im pretty sure Phil is not going to be too excited about that.”
“Ah fuck Phil. He thinks hes hot shit with his whole goat yoga scheme right now. This is how a real lure is done!” the former clown gestured to the red and black suit he was wearing smugly.
“Did you…put paint…on your face?” Leech sniffed the air, it reeked of paint fumes.
“Yeah! Spray paint! It burns a little but man do I look good!”
“I think the fumes are going to your head old man” Robert folded his long arms over the spider logo on his chest.
“Jesus christ neither of you would survive a day as humans without my help.” Leech grumbled as the clowns began to argue once again. She ignored the inevitable chaos and got out her phone groaning loudly over the 6 missed calls from Freddy. No doubt they were about something Dracula had done. Robert yellped when Uncle Bob whacked him on the head with his plastic pitch fork. Leech debated taking a photo of them for later blackmail but decided she should probably find out what the hell happened to Freddy first. As she was about to call him back she doubled over in pain. Something just went wrong in her abdomen. Something she’d never thought she’d feel again.
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OH NOOOO what ever could it beee! Poor Leech she’s had to put up with so much today. Penny better try to make it up to her.
#pennywise#pennywise x oc#it fanfiction#pennywise fanfiction#horror fanfiction#slasher fanfiction#slashers#freddy krueger#1990s pennywise#papawise#papa penny#robert gray x oc
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