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shanie-the-toyaddict · 3 years

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1, 9, 15, 17, 21, 25, 26, 29, 33, 41, 46, 48, 54, 59, 68, 73, 81, 96, 98

😊

Oh my word! That's a lot!

Ok, here goes.

Behind cut for length

1. Name - I prefer Shanie but my parents call me “Mis”. Well, my mom calls me “Mis” my father calls me “Pooch” which I despise. Just stick with Shanie.

9. What did you study - I changed majors midway through college. I started out as an art major focusing on computer animation. That didn’t work out at ALL. Turns out I sucked ass at computer animation. Too much math involved. So I switched to a major in teaching with minors in history and popular culture. Unfortunately I failed at that too and, while I did graduate, it was with a degree in “Planned Program” which is a polite way of saying “General Ed”. I did earn my two minors though, so I guess that’s something!

15. Relationship Status - Single. Very Very Single. I haven’t had a single date in about 10 years. By the looks of it, I’m going to stay single.

17. Do you have a crush - Do celebrities count? If not then no. I don't even know anyone IRL to have crushes on. I legit have nobody in my IRL life outside of my parents and my case manager. Kind of hard to have a crush when you don't have any friends or even acquaintances.

21: How was your day - Well, today I got nothing accomplished. I did have a meeting with my case manager, so that was nice. It’s nice to have someone to talk to and infodump on (which she lets me). Outside of that I woke up, had breakfast, lunch, and dinner, had a nap, and went to Dairy Queen for ice cream on the way home. Unfortunately, DQ is on the far side of town and by the time I got home, it was melted. So it went in the fridge to eat later once it refreezes. Outside of that it was a pretty boring day.

25. Your fears - Whoo-ee. Ok. So coming in with the borderline I’d say my biggest fear is abandonment. That just comes with the territory. After that I have a huge fear of storms and waking up in a fire, both brought about by recurring nightmares. I also have a fear of flying (too much Air Crash Investigations) and I hate elevators. I’m not claustrophobic mind you, I just have a fear that they will fall on me. Anything over 3 stories and I’m having an anxiety attack. There are other, lesser fears but those are some of the big ones.

26. Your dreams - Well, in a literal sense, my dreams are wild, crazy adventures that I get most of my fanfics from. From a metaphorical standpoint I really don’t have any. I’ve given up on hoping for anything good in my life. I’m too busy trying to get from day to day to indulge in long term planning. I know it seems terrible, but it’s the truth.

29. Hobbies - Obviously action figures, that much is clear. I collect and customize them to display in my apartment. I also like making digital art (sometimes) and am starting to get into illustrations/artwork. However, I don’t have a tablet/pen for the computer so everything is done with the mouse and GIMP (which makes it difficult). I’m an avid collector of digital media. Some of my big ones are Doctor Who DVDs, Wrestling Entrance Themes, and Official Xena Photos (not the physical ones, jpeg scans). I used to be big into Wizard101 and, while I don’t really play anymore, I still like following the game on YT and on here.

33. Languages you speak – Only English, except it’s a very specific English. I usually speak what’s called the “Yinzer” dialect which is a dialect that is unique to the Pittsburgh region. That’s why you see me use the word “Yinz” a bunch. That’s our word for “You guys” or “Y’all”. However, while most of my speech is Yinzer, I have watched enough British TV in my lifetime to have picked up some Brit speech. It confuses the hell out of people when I use it because you’ll have me say things like “My apartment needs cleaned” and then follow it up thirty seconds later with, “I’m rubbish at cleaning.” My mother has picked up on this and sometimes calls me her “British Daughter” because of it.

41. Your Device Background – My phone’s lock screen is a picture of Shane in his Roman Centurion outfit from the one Royal Rumble photo shoot. My phone background is a checkered wallpaper with “SZ” on it for Sami Zayn. (That one might be getting changed if he stops being Sami.) And my computer background is just a night sky over the mountains. I rarely ever see my computer wallpaper so I don’t mind that it is a generic background.

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done – You know how Lucy breathes fire on Xena? I taught myself how to do that. That wasn’t bright to begin with but it was made so much worse that I was underage and couldn’t buy Bacardi and was using lamp oil instead. I was young and dumb.

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life – Funny thing, I’m a sucker for strange foods. There was a list going around that said “How many of these weird foods have you eaten” and I think I had eaten all but six of them and that was only because I didn’t have access to them. I’m proud to say that, since then, I’ve knocked Quail Egg off the list! Turns out the local Japanese restaurant served it. So that knocked it down to five. Still need to get ahold of some gator meat and haggis. I’d love to try Foie Gras but it’s just so damn unethical that I don’t know if I could bring myself to eat it. Pheasant is another one that I’d love to try but I can’t convince my parents to buy me one (and I’m far too poor to afford it myself). But, yeah. I love strange foods. I’ll pretty much try any food once if I know it’s safe to eat.

54. Any tattoos or piercings – Unless you count partially pierced ears then no. And my ears are only partially pierced because after I had them done they got infected so I tried to let them heal shut. They ended up not closing fully and now, if I’m not adverse to a bit of pain, I can still wear earrings occasionally.

59. Song you wouldn’t normally admit you like – Judas is my guilty pleasure song. I know Jericho is a douchebag and I have tried to hate the song but I can’t. I end up singing along every time.

68. Favorite Movie/Series - Hmm... well, my all time favorite movie is definitely “The Towering Inferno”, hands down. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve seen that. I’m a sucker for disaster movies and, in my opinion, that one is the cream of the crop. I actually like it better than “The Poseidon Adventure” simply because I think the movie is inferior to the book. That said, I’ve also read both of the books that “The Towering Inferno” is based on and I like the combined movie better than them. Favorite series, however, I don’t think I have one definitive favorite series. I’ve had favoriteS like Xena, Buffy, Sherlock, Doctor Who, etc, but I’ve never had one all time favorite.

73: Favorite Greek God – Oh geez. Hmmm... You know, I’m going to have to go with Hermes here, primarily because I have this theory that he is the god of the internet. I know there was no internet in ancient Greece but, frankly, Hermes is the god of commerce, communication, travelers, and thieves. While it’s true that Hephaestus is the god of technology and would probably be the god of computers, I fully believe that Hermes would be the patron of the interwebs.

81 Favorite Books – In all honesty, going to college for 8 years burned me out for reading and now I can barely bring myself to read a comic book. For this reason, most of my favorite books come from childhood. My all time favorite book as a kid was “Flight #116 Is Down” by Caroline B Cooney. It was a disaster story about plane crash in a young woman’s back yard. Somehow, everyone didn’t die – a fact which was called out in the final pages when a fireman says that the crash was extremely odd because “usually they’re all dead.” That book might be another reason I’m terrified of flying. Other favorite books of mine was the “Fear Street Saga Trilogy” (Not the Fear Street Series, the trilogy that served as the origin story). I also like the Hitchhikers Guide saga but when I found out that Douglas Adams died before he could finish the saga, I stopped reading after book 4 so that the story had a happy ending. Novelizations in general are a big thing for me too, I’ve read some really good ones over the years and it’s fascinating to see how they differ from the movies they’re based on.

96. Hero or Villain – Well, if my dreams are anything to go by, I’m a villain at heart. I know, weird right? You all think I’m such a nice person but really, I have a huge dark side to me IRL and, if I was in a world where superheroes were real and I had superpowers I would almost certainly use them for evil. Or, at the very least I would use them to force social change ala Dr. Horrible.

98. Shapeshifting or Controlling Time – SHAPESHIFTING! Oh my goodness shapeshifting! I would love that so much! First of all, I wouldn’t be this huge anymore. I could be as heavy or a skinny as I want. Also, I wouldn’t have to worry about looking old or losing my hair! Plus, can you imagine the cosplay potential!? Forget dressing as the 13th Doctor, I AM THE 13th DOCTOR! That would just be the best!

PHEW! That was a lot! Thanks so much for the ask! This was fun. I love ask games.

#ask games

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theyearoftheking · 4 years

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Book Forty-Nine: Black House

“Here is a true American loner, an internal vagrant, a creature of shabby rooms and cheap diners, of aimless journeys resentfully taken, a collector of wounds and injuries lovingly fingered and refingered. Here is a spy with no cause higher than himself.”

After almost fifty books, The Talisman still stands at the top of the leader board as my favorite Steve book. It’s richly layered, full of memorable characters and horrible villains, with a satisfying conclusion. It’s the type of book fantasy and horror lovers alike are eager to escape into.

It’s sometimes hard to embrace the sequel to a book you love so much... I mean, I can be bought, but my criteria are stringent:

Consider setting the book in Wisconsin... perhaps the beautiful, sad, remote, desolate western part of the state right along the Mississippi river.

Maybe a Dahmer reference?

Scratch that. Instead, go with an old-school serial killer no one really talks about anymore. How about... Albert Fish? He’s pretty gross.

On second thought, reconsider a Dahmer reference. Maybe an evil spirit that links Dahmer and Fish together?

TONS of Dark Tower references.

If Steve and Pete were to consider writing a follow up to The Talisman with all these elements, I might consider reading it.

Spoiler!

Dark House contains all this goodness, and more.

It’s so fucking dark, y’all. I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to drive past a long-term care facility and NOT think about an old man inside wanting to eat the buttocks of small children.

Oh hey, trigger warnings for cannibalism, and violence against children.

So, Dark House is set in fictional Coulee County, Wisconsin (not a place). But Steve and Pete (I need to start giving Peter Straub some shout outs as well) describe the western part of the state magnificently. Not too long ago I had a sales job that required me to travel the entire state, and I always loved my jaunts west. I’d park right along the Mississippi, eat my lunch and just soak up the isolation. I’d much rather make the drive to Pierce county than the Quad Cities, which my current employer is asking of me. *Silent scream for help*

Despite Coulee being fictional, the actual Wisconsin references are thick:

De Pere (where we recently found out Steve spent a few formative years)

The Brewers

Miller Park

Kingsland Ale- while fictional, it’s a nod to Wisconsin’s rich brewing history, and favorable climate for microbreweries

Dahmer (several times, actually)

Racine. Y’all. I have no idea what Steve’s obsession is with Racine... it comes up in multiple books. It’s really not that great. Take that from someone who spent a brief period of time working there. Honestly, my favorite thing about Racine is the authentic Thai restaurant right in downtown, Sticky Rice. If you find yourself in Racine, please go check them out... their red devil curry is amaze-balls.

So, yes... lots of Wisconsin. Also, lots of Dark Tower:

Eye of the King

Crimson King

The Tower

Red roses

Breakers

Little Sisters

Gunslingers and their weapons

Roland and the ka-tet

Monos! Blaine and Patricia

Chief Breaker Brautigan- who allegedly tells hilarious stories about his escapes. I miss him already.

I have questions about how Steve convinced Pete to include so many Dark Tower elements into this book...

Steve: “Pete, bud... I know you might have a different vision for how this book plays out. Buuut what about if we make it part of the Dark Tower universe?”

Pete: Stares for a long minute. “Um, I thought that series was dead in the water. Do we really need to use Dark House to resuscitate it?”

Steve: “Remember the car accident? You know, the one that almost took my leg?”

Pete *Oh fuck, he’s bringing up the car accident as a bid for sympathy, and to convince me to make this a Dark Tower book...* “Of course I remember!”

Steve: “Well, it shook some things loose. I’m about ready to finish the series. I just thought it might be fun if we make this book a lead-up to the finale”

Pete: “It’s intriguing, but I’m not really sure it’s the direction I want to go in. I was thinking more-”

Steve: “I ALMOST DIED IN THAT ACCIDENT!”

Pete: “Cool, Dark Tower book it is!”

I should write fan fiction. I’ve obviously got a gift.

Black House is told from a birds-eye narration view. Literally... there’s this fat, evil crow named Gorg flying all over town, giving us the lay of Coulee County. Bad stuff has been going on: little children have gone missing, and only a few of their bodies have turned back up mutilated and broken.

The chief of police, Dale Gilbertson, knows he’s in over his head, and keeps trying to convince his pal, retired police detective, Jack “Hollywood” Sawyer to come consult on the case.

Jack isn’t having it. He retired young and moved to Coulee County from Los Angeles after tracking down and arresting serial killer Thorny Kinderling. The majestic beauty of western Wisconsin caught him by surprise, and he happily invested in reasonably priced (read: cheap) real estate with a view.

Upon moving to Wisconsin, Jack befriended Dale’s blind uncle Henry Leydon; who voices several radio programs, including The Wisconsin Rat, which plays indy screamo bands and has plenty of shock-jock antics. The two hang out together, listen to jazz music, and sometimes Jack reads to Henry. Henry was able to use his elevated senses to study Jack’s speech pattern and figure out Jack’s mom was THE Lily Cavanaugh; the Queen of the B’s.

While Jack and Henry are reading Bleak House, Charles “Burny” Burnside is wandering around the Maxton Elder Care Facility, pretending to have dementia, and dragging children into The Territories for Lord Malshun to either use as Breakers, or for Burny to snack on if they have no Breaking skills. So, Burny’s a bad dude who did some suspicious things in Chicago; but an evil spirit (the same one who invaded Albert Fish and Jeffrey Dahmer’s bodies) is what’s causing his kidnapping and cannibalistic urges. I know I say this every ten books or so, but Burny might be the worst King villain ever. I was not upset later on when his intestines were violently ripped from his body.

A sweet little boy (with strong Breaker powers) named Tyler Marshall goes missing outside the Maxton Elder Care Facility. While he was being pulled into the bushes by Gorg who kept repeating his name; his mother, Judy receives a taunting package and letter from The Fisherman, which sends her over the brink, and she’s institutionalized.

Tyler’s disappearance really amps up the town outrage, and Jack agrees to help the police department out. He’s starting to suspect there’s some Territories nonsense going down, and he can help.

From here, the book goes at break-neck pace and includes everything from micro-brewing bikers, a dog bite that causes one to dissolve into a foamy puddle on the couch, our old friend Speedy Parker showing up as a gunslinger, the world’s most annoying newspaper reporter, plenty of flipping between worlds via the creepy old black house hidden in the woods, and a happy(ish) ending. Honestly, there’s a warning at the end of the book, which allows you to choose your own ending. You can stop reading five pages before the end, and enjoy a happy ending where the good guys win; or you can get the real world ending. Both are satisfying... I recommend reading all the way to the end.

So, just a few quotes for you...

“Wolf died of a disease called America.”

This line gutted me. I didn’t realize how much I loved Wolf as a character, until I had to read a follow-up that didn’t include him. His soul was too clean and beautiful for a fucked-up world like the one we currently live in.

“He doesn’t like the cell phone to begin with- twenty-first-century slave bracelets, he thinks them...”

No explanation needed.

“Why must life always demand so much and give so little? Parkus answers her question with a single word: ka.”

Again, no explanation needed.

Was this book as good as The Talisman?

No.

Did I want more?

Absolutely.

But was I satisfied with the end?

You bet your (un-chomped on) ass.

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 33

Total Dark Tower References: 50

Book Grade: A-

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Wizard and Glass: A+

Needful Things: A+

On Writing: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Hearts in Atlantis: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Bag of Bones: A-

Black House: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon: B

Storm of the Century: B-

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Desperation: C-

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Christine: D

Dreamcatcher: D

The Regulators: D

The Tommyknockers: D-

Now I move onto From a Buick Eight. I’ve had an advanced reading copy since the book came out, but never had the urge to actually read it. That should tell you everything you need to know about my level of enthusiasm right now. I’m hoping it’s not a Christine 2.0.

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights, Rebecca

#black house #the talisman #the dark tower #stephen king #peter straub #constant readers #ka #wisconsin #albert fish #dahmer

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rowanismybae · 7 years

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(Not so ) Secret Love - Rowelin Fanfic

Hi everyone! So, yes, I’m a Rowelin trash. This is a fanfic that was fun to write. It’s an AU where he’s her teacher at University and ... well, just go on and read it. Smut/ Fluff/ Modern Setting AU/ Rowelin. AO3 Hope y’all enjoy it!

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“Professor Whitethorn?” I turned around but I already knew who called me long before I turned around to see those gorgeous turquoise eyes.

“Yes, Ms. Galathynius?” I said politely waving goodbye to some other student.

“I told you: call me Aelin.” She whispered. “We’re past the formalities by now. It’s been what? 6 months working together?” She crossed her arms, a brow raised and a playful smile on her lips.

“Fine Aelin, what can I do for you?” I asked gathering my material so I could go have lunch with my fellow professors.

“I finished gathering those data we needed for the final course assignment. So, I was wondering if we could meet later at your office or at my place so you can help me out…” She bit her lower lip and I felt my blood boil already.

Between her place and my office, the wisest choice was the office. We had met at her apartment before, but it was on a Sunday and her friends/ roommates were there as well, her cousin included. And during our meetings at my office, the door always stayed opened and was during lunch hours or when the university was crowded. But today I was going to be busy until around 6 pm and by then, most students and professors would be far gone.

But the office would still be the wisest choice. “We’ll meet at my office later.” I said and she smiled satisfied. “I have to work until 6, so maybe six thirty?” I asked and she nodded and turned around.

“I’ll bring pizza.” She said over her shoulder. Waving goodbye and I saw her leave, her hips swaying.

The professors’ room was crowded and I found my friends briefly; Fenrys waved his hand at me and I joined them.

“Hey bro! What took you so long?” He asked and the others nodded in a simple greeting.

“Aelin wants help with her paper. We were scheduling our meeting of tonight.” I said simply but could feel my friends gaze on me.

“We’re calling her Aelin now?” He teased. I rolled my eyes and started to eat. “Don’t get me wrong bro, she is gorgeous. And you know I like my share of young and pretty students. So if you’re banging her, good for you!” He raised a hand for a high five. I ignored him.

“We’re not banging Fenrys. I’m her adviser. That’s all.” I said never stopping my meal.

Lorcan snorted. “You’re totally into the bitch queen.” He pointed his fork to me.

“I’m not.” I said swallowing. “And don’t call her that.” A smile spread through his face.

“Sure. Say whatever you want to keep your mind sane.” He said before filling his mouth again. “But you have a thing for her.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “You are overreacting on this.”

“Fine. When and where will you two meet?” Fenrys asked. I was getting tired of this.

“Six thirty at my office.” Gavriel choked. Smiles spread through Lorcan and Fenrys’s faces. “What?” I asked genuinely intrigued.

Gavriel coughed. “The university will be barely opened by then.” He was trying not to smile.

“I finish my classes at six. It’s the only available time I have.” My voice was firm, but I would never let them know I knew that already and it made my heart speed up.

Of course she was gorgeous; she was incredible. Her golden hair and turquoise eyes had men all over campus crawling after her. Although she never showed up dating, she once told me she did date three guys in the past, but now she was single.

She had a tough childhood being an orphan and all that; at first, after her parents passed away, she went to live with Aedion – her cousin - and his mother, but she fell sick and died when Aelin was thirteen and she moved in with her aunt Maeve who literally locked her inside the house and beat the crap out of her when she tried to escape. Aedion who was five years older than her tried to take Aelin’s custody from Maeve, but he didn’t succeed. Only when Maeve died from age two years later, Aelin was able to move in with Aedion and inherited her parent’s fortune. Even through this shitty childhood the smile on her face never faded.

Of course he fantasied about them both on his office once, the way she would moan to his touch, the taste of her lips, the heat from her core… and she asked him something and he pretended nothing happened in his mind, although a wise smiled played along her delicious lips.

“You can keep telling yourself that and keep on being the role model teacher or you can fuck that delicious girl and remember it for the rest of your life, even when you have gray hair on your head.” I looked at Fenrys pointedly. “Oh, that’s right, your hair is already gray.” He smiled teasing me.

“Just shut up Fenrys. Nothing is going to happen.” I said cutting him off. I just wanted to finish that subject and go back to my classes.

“Well, if you don’t want her, please, inform her that I’m willing to teach some love techniques if she feels inclined to.” He winked and went back to eat.

Lorcan was barking a laugh and Gavriel shaking his head with a grimace. I just sighed and went back to my food.

I was sit on my chair rubbing my temples in order to make that stupid headache go away when I heard the soft knock on the door and then she opened the door and her head showed up; her dazzling smile on her lips.

“Can I come in Rowan?” She asked and I liked the way my name sounded on her tongue. I told her to come in and she was using a short loose pink dress; the V cleavage was deep but not indecent. Was it fitting for this meeting? Probably not, but I liked the view.

“I brought pizza, like promised.” She smiled placing the pizza atop the table. “I thought you might be hungry, since you taught the whole day.” She opened the box and my stomach roared.

“Thanks Aelin.” I grabbed a piece and moaned on the taste of it. I felt her eyes on me the whole time and when I looked at her, her eyes held some sort of desire. It was gone in a blink. She started going through her stuff and got her laptop and we started to discuss the findings of her research.

While I ate, she spoke and took notes. At some point, Fenrys stopped by to say a nice and polite goodnight and seemed truly interested on her paper and discretely gave me a thumbs up in approval. I rolled my eyes at him and told him to get lost.

I was rubbing my temples again while she worked. I had my eyes closed because was getting hard to look at her. She looked so cute when focused and every time she bend over, I saw a little more than intended from her cleavage: her pink lacy bra. Or when she stretched she made such a delicious noise and her dressed got up slightly… my headache was now for a dozen different reasons and were all related to the student in front of me.

I stiffened when I felt her hands on my shoulders. “Aelin, what you’re doing?” I asked and looked at her over the shoulder. Was she trying to kill me? She had the audacity to shrug.

“You seemed to have a bad day and have a headache. Let me help. I’ve been told to be a great masseuse.” I started to say that wasn’t necessary but she dig her nails on my shoulders and the single movement sent pain and excitement down my body, especially to my cock. “Oh don’t be a baby!”

“Aelin, if someone sees this, people may misinterpreted and start talking…” I said and she stopped. She let go of my shoulders and I almost sighed in relief but then I saw her walk to the door and close it.

And turn the key. She faced me with a wicked smile on her lips.

“There. No one will see it now.” She returned to my shoulders and I couldn’t say no to her anymore. Looked like with the door, she also locked away my inhibitions.

I let myself enjoy her touch and for another second she let go of me and let a playlist play on her laptop.

“Just relax. Pretend you’re home, having some quality time with yourself.” She whispered and I let my muscles relax a little bit. “You work too much.” She said; her mouth almost on my ear and I felt a shiver down my spine.

I chuckled and her hands went for my neck and when her hands ran through my scalp, I let a small groan leave my throat.

“Yes, relax Rowan…” The sound of her sensual voice was relaxing me but also turning me on. I had to stop her, but I didn’t have the strength. Actually I didn’t want to.

She strode in front of me and sat on the table. I looked at her and her hands went back to my scalp and I closed my eyes, melting under her touch.

“Why are you sitting on my table?” I whispered. I was trying really hard to sound firm and annoyed, but I sounded like a grumpy child.

She giggled. “I wanted to see your face while doing it. Sounded like you were enjoying it.” Oh that girl was playing with fire and she was not afraid of getting burned. I smiled at her.

“You are, indeed, a great masseuse.” I admitted.

“It’s not the only thing I’m good at.” Her voice was sultry and what she was implying made my blood boil. I opened my eyes and found her biting her bottom lip; her eyes filled with desire.

“Is that so?” I asked and felt like an idiot. I did not know how to flirt! It’s been ages I had a woman on my bed.

She nodded and one of her hands slid to cup my cheek while the other went for my neck. Her eyes were on my lips. I felt something twitch in my stomach. She leaned forward and I froze.

“Aelin, stop.” She looked at me and I stood up, turning my back to her. This wasn’t right. No matter how much I wanted her. Or she wanted me.

“You can pretend you don’t want me Rowan, but I see the way you look at me.” I still didn’t turn back. “And I’m not doing this over some sort of fetish. I like you Rowan. Not professor Whitethorn.” I turned to her at that. She shrugged. “He’s kind of an ass.” Her eyes lit up again. She was still sitting on my desk, her feet bare on my chair.

“It still doesn’t make it right.” I said and she chuckled.

“If you met me in a bar, would have talked to me?” I nodded. She smiled. I was in trouble.

She stood up and paced slowly to me and took my hands and placed them at her hips. Her own hands were placed on my face and neck once again.

“Pretend we’re at the bar, Rowan. I’m not your student, I’m just a girl at the bar.” She lifted until she was on the tip of her toes, I could feel her breath on my lips. Her eyes full with concern. “If – if you don’t want this, just say the word and I’ll stop. I’ll pretend nothing happened and we’ll go back to the way we were.” She stopped and waited.

She knew about my deceased wife and she gave me the choice to do this or not. I did not need to think anymore. She showed me compassion in such deep and caring way that I knew what I wanted instantly.

I leaned forward and brushed my lisp on hers. I felt her smile and then she kissed me back. Her lips were warm, soft and delicate, tasting like cherry lip balm. She was perfect on my hands, on my body. I deepened the kiss and she moaned. I lost it.

She granted me access to her mouth and my tongue slid inside her mouth. She bit my lower lip pulling me hard. My hands roamed on her back, her ribs, her waist, her neck… she was perfect; her scent so good, her skin so warm. This girl was going to be the death of me.

Her hands went for the hem of my shirt and she slid her hands on my bare abs and then she went back to the shirt pulling it up. I helped take it off and I saw pure lust on her eyes when she looked at my naked torso. Her hands slid hungry on my skin and I pulled her back to the kiss, hungrier than before.

I went to kiss her neck, her jaw her earlobe and I felt her body press against mine and her nails dig on my skin.

“Rowan…” She said breathlessly and I went for her collarbone. But she was too small and I was bent and was starting to feel uncomfortable. I slid my hands on her backside and grabbed her thighs lifting her up to my waist and she gasped.

I placed her sitting on the table. She locked her legs on my waist pulling me closer and her dress went up, almost on her waist.

My hands slid the straps of her pink dress revealing her lacy pink bra that did wonders to her firm breasts. I took them on my hands and she watched me, a wicked smile on her lips.

“Do you intend to ogle the whole night?” She asked with a sultry voice. My hands started to move and I removed the lace and her breasts were revealed to me. I felt my knees give in for a second. The warmth or her skin and her pink peaked nipples drove me insane and I went for them.

With one hand I rubbed and massaged her breast and with the other I held us in place on the table, since her hands were on my hair and back. The moment my lips found her soft skin, her hard nipple, she arched her back and moaned loudly. Thank God for my hand holding us in place.

I teased her until she was panting and rubbing her hips over mine. I was so hard that I felt my brain melt with the need for her; my pants were killing me!

I leaned back from her and she gasped. I started to remove completely her dress and she worked on my pants, opening the buttons and pushing it down. I was left only on my boxers and she sobbed when she saw how hard I was. Her hand stroke over the fabric through the extension of my generous length.

Yes, I was aware that I had a very pleasant and desired cock, thank you very much.

I grinned when her eyes went wide and she bit her bottom lip in desire. My hand started to touch the fabric of her matching pink lacey panties and, mother above, she was drenched. She let go a quiet “hmmm” and made my cock ache and twitch.

When I was removing her panties she held my wrist and made me look at her. Her skin was flushed in red.

“Rowan, I – I…” She paused and placed her hand on my chest.

“What it is, Fireheart?” I asked gently placing a golden lock of her hair behind her ear. Somehow the nickname suited her. “If you want to stop, it’s okay…”

“God no.” She said laughing. “I – I want you so bad!” She was breathless again. Desire taking over her features. She stood up from the table, went for her bag and picked something inside it. A condom. She went back for the table and sit in front of me. It was so quick that it was almost like she never left.

“I want you too.” I assure her and with a smile I added “and you came prepared, huh?” She blushed and looked down. She nodded and finally looked at me. I felt instantly on fire with the lust on her eyes, but she was still hiding something from me. “You can say whatever it is you’re thinking. You want me to take it slow?” I asked gently, placing kisses on her arms.

“Actually, no.” I faced her once more, my lips still on the skin of her arm. She had a playful smirk on her lips. “I actually want you to fuck me. Hard. Deep. Really fuck me.” I stopped my mouth from the kisses. Was she being serious about this? “Can you do that?” Her face showed no sign that she was joking.

“Aelin, I don’t think – I don’t know if this is a good idea.” I said simply. No one ever asked me that before. Although I always wanted to, I never actually allowed myself to set free entirely; for their sake, not my own. And I never thought of her being the one in need for a good fuck. I always pictured her as a kind and generous lover. But never kinky.

“Rowan I want you to let yourself free. I want the beast inside you that is urging you to come out, to be set free.” She was holding my shoulders strongly, like she was trying to make me understand. She really wanted this. "We can be gentle later; some other time. Right now, I want you to fuck me the way your eyes tell me you want to.”

And that broke the leash on my self-control.

I ripped away her panties so easily like it was a sheet of paper and the gasped in surprise, a grin on her lips. Her mouth found mine and it was a mess of teeth and tongues while I put my boxers down and set my penis out and I placed the condom on it. Oh sweet freedom!

Her hand grasped my chock and pumped it a few times while I pulled her towards me, her ass on the edge of the table. I removed her hand from around me and laid her down on her back on the table; I placed both of her ankles on my shoulders and looked at her gorgeous and perfect body in front of me, waiting for me.

I stroke her folds with the head of my cock and snarled in pleasure for how wet indeed she was. She arched her back at the touch.

“Rowan…” She pleaded. I was done teasing.

I slid inside her slowly and I couldn’t help the groan the left my throat. She matched my groan with a long one from herself. It felt so right, so perfect!

“God, you’re perfect!” I threw my head back letting her body adapt and I allowed myself to enjoy the fitting of our bodies.

“God Rowan, move!” She demanded. I laughed and started to rock my hips against hers.

I thrusted deep and hard like my body ached to. The sound of our skin touching was better than whatever music was playing from her laptop.

“Rowan” She sobbed.

“Yes Fireheart?” My voice was hoarse with want.

“Let. Go.” She said between ragged breaths. “Fuck me like you mean it!” Her gaze was strong and demanding.

Although I was loving to see her face and the way her breasts moved up and down with every thrust, I knew how my body was claiming to take her; in which position my animalistic self wanted to fuck her.

I withdraw from her and she snarled at me, angry for going away. I let her legs down and pulled her from the table and turned her around.

Her hands were placed on the table and I stroke her scarred back and she glanced over her shoulders. The need in her eyes made me place my hands on her hips and I made her stay in the tip of her toes so her ass was in the perfect position for me to slide in. And I thrusted.

Her back arched and I saw her skin bristle with pleasure. I fisted her hair and started to move inside her.

Hard. Deep. Fast.

I pulled her hair and she moaned. Her hands grabbing the edge of the table so hard I could see the skin of her knuckles go white. She was moaning no-stop, sometimes the sounds were like words, sometimes like my name and others just noises of pleasure.

I slap the cheek of her ass and she winced and startle. “Like that, hmm?” I asked. I was never the talkative guy in bed. But somehow she let loose that side in me when she asked me to fuck her hard.

“Yes.” She gasped the answer; looking over her shoulder, she said “Again”.

I obliged. And she moaned again. I kept slapping until her skin was deep pink.

“Faster Rowan… please” I gave her what she asked, feeling my own pleasure rise. She was getting tighter around my cock and I knew she was close.

“Do you want to come for me, Aelin?” I asked and she nodded. I needed words. “Do you want to come for me Fireheart? Say it.”

“Yes - God, yes! ” Her voice was barely understandable. I pulled her up so her back was touching my chest and I let go from her hair and my hand went for her breast again while my mouth was on her ear, nipping it.

“You are so – exquisite!” I said, words coming from my mouth without thinking. Her hands went for my hair.

“Rowan please!” My hand went for her clit, rubbing it while I bit the crook of her neck. She groaned deeply. I could feel how tight she was. I needed her to come so I could too. I went for her ear again.

“Come for me.” I demanded. “Now”. She climaxed around me, her body shaking so hard that I had to let go of her clit to hold her hip.

I snarled and thrusted faster three more times and I came inside her; starts and thunder flashing on my body and blood. I leaned forward and her hands were placed on the table to hold us both.

I thrusted a few more times, leading us out from our pleasure and when I stopped she laughed hoarsely.

“God, this was – fuck!” She shook her head. I kissed her back and slid out from her. She let go of a noise of disappointment and was my turn to laugh. I sat on my chair and pulled her to my lap. I held her tightly against me.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. Because I certainly did.” I said and kissed her forehead that hanged loose on my shoulder. Her body still shaking with pleasure. “I have to say was my first time like this.” I admitted.

“It’s hard to believe that though.” She cupped my cheek and kissed my neck. “You have no idea how long and in how many positions I imagined this.” She said gently.

“How long?” I asked pressing my cheek on her forehead.

“A year and a half.”

I looked at her; brows furrow. “I wasn’t your teacher until six months ago.” I pointed out and her cheeps turned deep red.

“I saw you with Professor Fenrys and since then I couldn’t stop thinking about you and how much I wanted you in my bed. Or yours.”

I laughed amused and kissed gently her lips.

“Speaking of beds, how about we move to mine?” I asked and her eyes lit up. She didn’t want to pressure me. She nodded and we stood up to dress up. I got rid of the condom and put my trousers and pants back on. When she spoke again, her back was turned to me, her voice low.

“But what about tomorrow? What if someone sees us getting here together? Won’t it cause you trouble?” She was worried but was also afraid that I just wanted casual sex like Fenrys. Silly girl. I was completely in love with her and she had no clue. I went I hugged her from behind, kissing her shoulder delicately before answering.

“We’ll get here early. No one besides Fenrys saw what you are wearing tonight and he will not say a word. Well, not to someone that may cause me problems.” I grimaced at how much he would torment me with this. “And we’ll keep it secret until you graduate. After that… we’ll figure it out then.”

She turned to me with a true smile on her lips. “So you intend to keep seeing me until I graduate?” She said tracing lines on my shoulder with her nail.

“Well, I do. Since I’m your teacher until then and also your advisor – outch!” I yelped when she pinched me. “Yes Fireheart, I do if you want to.” I smiled at her and kissed her briefly.

“I would like that very much.”

We got dressed and went to my place where we had a loving and gentle sex and fell asleep cuddled to one another.

What Rowan had no idea was that the next morning Aelin had to wear a sweater and one of his scarfs to hide the bite on her neck and some other hickeys on her body; Fenrys indeed teased the life out of him alongside with Gavriel and Lorcan.

Aelin graduated a few months later, her grades higher than any other student and he could not be any prouder. Their article was published on a very renowned journal and she got an offer on a master’s degree soon after that.

After she graduated, they officially announced their relationship. Rowan proposed to her two months later and she said yes.

She moved in with him and she left her apartment for her cousin Aedion that lived there with Lys and Elide.

They got married six months after they got engaged. They had their fights like every normal couple did, but they loved each other deeply, so the little fights were nothing compared to the joy of living together and waking up cuddled every morning.

And even though they had a lot of sex during all this time, none was hard and primal like that first time.

#Rowelin #AU #Modern AU #rowan whitethorn #aelin ashryver #these characters belong to SJM #sjm is queen #sjm fandom #Smut

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lainahastoomuchsparetime · 5 years

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If you’re new around here, Things I’ve Read Recently is a series of posts I do that are basically mini-reviews of books that I either forgot to review, didn’t have enough to say for a full review, or just didn’t want to do a full post about for whatever reason.

I worked in a thrift store all summer and I had like a half hour lunch break. And doing nothing but eating alone is boring, so I read a bunch of magazines and then started bringing a book.

Now, I didn’t feel like taking notes while I ate, so I didn’t bring any review books. And I didn’t really feel like reading anything… you know, good. So I looked at my physical to-read stack and my book shelves and mostly found whatever looked trashiest. Never underestimate the power of good trash. Sometimes you need to read something that doesn’t make you think. At all.

So let’s talk about what I read this summer!

(Note: As I said, I didn’t take notes on any of these, so I don’t have notes to do content warnings. There’s like murder in most of them, and fatmisia and racism stuff. It’s trash, don’t be surprised by dumpster fires. Assume there’s no diversity in most of these.)

Killing Britney by Sean Olin

Published: July 1st, 2005 by Simon Pulse Genre: YA Thriller Binding: Paperback Page Count: 234 with no extras at all, actually Part of a series? Nope Got via: I wanna say thrift sale or yard sale. I own it and I don’t think I bought it online or anything.

Summary (from goodreads): Britney is the girl everyone loves to hate.

Ever since Britney transformed herself from freak-and-geek to the most popular girl at school, her life has been touched by tragedy. First it was her mom, who drowned on a family rafting trip. Then her hockey-star boyfriend, Ricky, was killed in a hit-and-run.

When the deaths continue to pile up, everyone fears for Britney. Sure she’s popular, blond, and fabulous.

But is that enough reason for someone to want to… kill her?

Thoughts: This was trash. It’s very clearly written by a man who had possibly never spoken to a teenage girl when he wrote this. Maybe because of the time period it was written plus that it’s written in third person, but it does have a kind of removed feeling. Which works for the “twist” ending (it’s a really predictable twist), but normally isn’t my favourite.

At the same time though it kind of worked for how my mindset was when I read it? I didn’t really want to connect to the characters. I just wanted to be entertained for a short period of time while I ate.

Also apparently this won an award for being appealing to reluctant readers, and I can totally see that. This was actually recommended to me by a friend like fifteen years ago. (I can remember that, but I can’t remember where I put my tweezers. Why is my brain like this?) That friend wasn’t a huge reader, but apparently liked this and thought I would.

Well, friend, fifteen years later, you weren’t wrong! Five dumpsters out of five.

(No, I’m kidding, I’m not rating these.)

The Betrayal of Natalie Hargrove by Lauren Kate

Published: November 12th, 2009 by Razorbill Genre: YA Thriller Binding: Paperback Page Count: 235 plus an excerpt for a book by a different author and an add for the Kissing List. Part of a series? Nope. Got via: I think I actually bought it from amazon.

Summary (from goodreads): All it takes is one fatal mistake…

High-school beauty Natalie Hargrove has spent years plotting to become prom queen. She’s got just what it takes: popularity, glamour and ruthless ambition.

When someone threatens to overturn her perfect plan, Natalie needs to take control. So she convinces her boyfriend Mike to help play a prank on her nemesis, Justin… one that goes terribly wrong, and Justin ends up dead.

Natalie is plunged into a sea of secrets, shame and scandal.

Because it turns out there’s one thing even Natalie Hargrove can’t command – and that’s fate…

Thoughts: This was also trash! Not my favourite trash of the bunch here, but it was good enough for what it was. I actually thought the setting of this was really interesting. It’s set in… Charleston. I don’t know where that is. One second.

So it’s set in South Carolina! And takes place around Mardi Gras and has a whole bunch of southern high school traditions that I wasn’t really aware of. Do you remember that book I read last year, Ruined? It kind of reminded me of that, but, like, trashy CW teen show content instead of a ghost story.

Seriously with how popular Fallen was I’m surprised this was never made into a terrible movie. It’d be kind of fun to watch, honestly. Lots of teen drinking and sex, some murder, lots of drama, all that jazz. Not my favourite, but it worked for when I was reading it.

Traveling On into the Light: and Other Stories by Martha Brooks

Published: September 1st, 1994 by Groundwood Books Genre: Contemporary YA Short Story Anthology Binding: Hardcover Page Count: 146 plus an about the author Part of a series? No, but one of the stories was expanded into a book called Being With Henry Got via: I have no idea. I’ve had it forever, and there are not library marks or anything.

Summary (from goodreads): The miracle of unexpected connections and small victories that enlarge and transform shines forth in this haunting collection.

Here are teenagers on the brink of discovery: Jamie, who comes to understand that the lost can be found in unexpected ways when he goes looking for his dead father and finds a living memory instead; Laker, a runaway able to face his mother’s rejection because of the kindness of a total stranger; and Sidonie, who, threatened with the loss of the love that made her feel safe, discovers she can survive and face the unknown.

Out of alienation, isolation, and loss coms hope for the future in the support of friends, family, or lovers, the healing power of memory, or the sanctity of a safe place from which personal dragons can finally be faced.

Thoughts: This actually wasn’t trash. I grabbed it because it was in the box in my closet, and short stories seemed easy to read in small bursts. It’s actually pretty good. It’s older, so some of the stories obviously haven’t aged the best, but looking at it in the context of it being twenty-five years old (and most of the stories older), it’s not a big deal.

Also, like, props for this actually having queer characters? One of the characters in one of the stories has a father who has somewhat recently come out as gay and begun a new relationship. While normally that’s a plot I find a bit tiresome, for the early 90s, it’s handled pretty well.

I’m probably not going to keep this as I don’t feel any urgent need to reread it, but it was good enough.

Speaking of the 90s…

Obsessed by Jo Gibson

Published: This bind-up was released May 27th, 2014 by K-Teen Books which is a division of Kensington. We’ll talk about the original pub dates in the review. Genre: YA Thriller Binding: Paperback Page Count: 356 plus an excerpt from the next book, which we’ll talk about. Part of a series? This contains the books The Crush and the Crush II. Got via: Yard sale!

Summary (from goodreads): From master of suspense Jo Gibson comes two heart-stopping novels of romantic obsession–where the love never dies. It kills. . .

The Crush

Michael Barton is smart, sweet, gorgeous–the total package. Which is why some of the girls have decided to have a little contest. Whoever hooks up with Michael first will be the winner. There’s just one problem. One of the girls has been harboring a secret crush on Michael for years. She’ll do anything to be his girlfriend. She’ll play the game. She’ll win his heart. She’ll beat the competition. . .to death.

The Crush II

Michael Barton has experienced the dark side of love. He has survived the advances of a psychotic stalker. He has endured her deadly game of obsession. And now he is free from her web of lust and lies. But Michael has a surprise waiting for him. His secret admirer is still out there. Watching. Waiting. Plotting her next move. And if Michael thinks he can escape her this time, he’s wrong. . .dead wrong.

Thoughts: Originally the two books that make up this bind-up were published in 1994 by Zebra, specifically from their Scream Line. You may or may not know this, so let’s talk a bit about Zebra, because this is very interesting. Zebra, which is also a division of Kensington, mostly started as a romance publisher. In the 80s and 90s, however, they were quite successful publishing westerns and horror novels. They apparently (I can’t find too much information on it) had a line called “Scream”, which seems to have been somewhat similar to Point Horror line, but clearly not as popular.

The other interesting fact about this book? Jo Gibson is also known as Joanne Fluke, who writes the Hannah Swensen series. I find that so interesting. There’s also an excerpt for her… I think only non-cozy adult book, The Other Child, at the back of this book. Which is just such random advertising!

This is kind of trash, but it’s trash in a very specific way. Honestly, I did not realize that was such an old book when I started reading it, since I literally grabbed it because of the cover. It wasn’t until I got to a part about how cellphones were so expensive and unusual that I was like “what the hey?” and actually checked the publication date.

This is 90s teen pulp horror. You don’t go into this expecting a good book. The characters are barely characters, there’s a ton of 90s isms, the plot is ridiculously predictable, and it’s not remotely scary as an adult. You gotta think about being twelve and reading this with barbecue chips on a Friday night when you’re still young enough that staying up late on a Friday is a treat.

I also wanna just talk about these covers.

Why are her fingernails so long?? That’s not a thing in the book at all. There’s absoluely no sense to it. I love it.

This was great! I’m actually gonna keep this and I would love to get my hands on the other bind-ups of her books. I’m super charmed by this.

Well, that was fun! What did y’all think of this round-up?

Peace and cookies, Laina

Things I’ve Read Recently (89): Stuff I read at lunch at my summer job that was mostly kind of trashy If you're new around here, Things I've Read Recently is a series of posts I do that are basically mini-reviews of books that I either forgot to review, didn't have enough to say for a full review, or just didn't want to do a full post about for whatever reason.

#straight up trash #trash

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therealbrittanychiz · 6 years

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8.27.18

Welp I think it’s safe to say I suck at updating this thing. I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently though and I have sooo much that’s happened over the last year.

2017. It was the best and worst year of my life. If you read my last post I mentioned going to London and meeting Jenny for the first time! Well that was amazing. We had so much fun. I was really worried we wouldn’t get along or Denee would get along with her more than me but everything worked out fine! There were a few times were I apparently annoyed Denee and a couple times where she annoyed me so that rocked our friendship a little bit. Of course we’re still bffs and that’ll never change. But now we know to never travel with each other again xD Anyway! When we arrived I was so tried and we were running on 3 hours of sleep over the course of two days. Our flight had a layover in Iceland but it wasn’t too bad. We got lucky and landed the door window seat so there was lots of foot room! When we arrived we met up with Jenny and her dad. I literally had butterflies the entire time even after meeting her. I constantly had to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming! It was just so surreal I was finally with her. So we got to her house and just talked and rested up since the next day we had to catch the train to Paris!

Paris was incredible. It wasn’t too hot or rainy at all. I just wish I wasn’t totally exhausted and cranky (hangry)! So of course we needed food so we walked from our hotel to the Eiffel Tower just to look around. We finally found a place and I just got a sandwich so I was happy to just be eating. I was still tired so I was trying my best not to put Denee or Jenny in a bad mood either. I just stayed quiet and ate my food.

Afterwards we headed back and rested up. We went back out to see the tower at night and looked for a place to eat dinner and grabbed some snacks. The next day I felt much better after getting well needed sleep. I was also super excited for Disneyland! We didn’t really ride any rides since none of us were really ride people so we wandered around and shopped and had lunch. Then I saw they were having a meet n greet for princess aurora so Jenny waited an hour and a half with me so I could meet her! It wasn’t too bad. Denee went off on her own and apparently she met Captain Hook and had a sword fight with him xD so she kept occupied. On our way back to meet Denee we ran into the queen of hearts and tweedle dew and tweedle dum. They were fun! After that we grabbed slushies and we realized we had to be back to meet our bus to get back to our hotel. By then we were exhausted from walking so naturally I was the slowest and I was way far behind them but I made it eventually. We even waited like 20 mins for our bus to even get there! Still it was a fun day. We got back to our hotel and just hung out.

The next day was our Eiffel Tower day! We grabbed breakfast and headed out. The walk was actually much further than we anticipated. Still, we went all the way up to the top and it was so much fun! (More on this later). Then we did some shopping and wandered around and got some food.

Our final day in Paris was the louvre! It was incredible. It was so big and we didn’t even walk all of it. We maybe did half and by then it was almost time to leave. There was just so much to look at and we spent most of it trying to find the Mona Lisa! We found it though. It’s a lot smaller in person and the room was crazy crowded. It was still really neat. We then left and headed back to our hotel. That night we went to the arc de triumphe to see it all lit up. We took a few pics and went back.

We left Paris and headed back to Jenny’s house and I was sooo glad to be “home”. So we hung out for a while and got some sleep. The next day we headed off to London! We got a flat pretty close to everything so that was nice. Our first day we did the London eye and did a boat tour on the river of Thames. We went back to our flat after that and relaxed a bit.

The next day we had afternoon tea and got to see some more sites so that was a lot of fun! We also did the queens jewels tour and walked around the castles.

Then we went up to the actual palace to see the changing of the guards so that was really cool to see. When we got back to our flat we went to go check out the shard but we hadn’t booked tickets to go inside though it was still cool to look at.

Denee went back to our flat but Jenny and I walked around the little garden park and sat on a bench for a while and just talked. We headed back and grabbed dinner. It was our last day in London as well so we had to go back to Jenny’s the next day.

At this point in our trip it’s been almost two weeks. When we arrived back the next morning we just hung out and tried to rest. The day after that we headed to Harry Potter studios! It was so much fun and I think the place where I spent the most money xD

The next day we went to a little beach town with a lot of arcades and shops and places to eat. We got legit fish n chips and ate by the water. We also played some arcade games and did some shopping but Jenny got the times messed up and we had to catch our train. We just barely made it bc I was in line to buy something but I had to put it back since our train was literally leaving within that minute so luckily we made it on!

The day after that was mostly a rest day. We had a concert and horse races to go to that evening. It was a lot of fun! We saw a British group called little mix who I listen to all the time now :p we placed some bets and of course won nothing but it was still a great night! Our final day was resting and packing. It was a bittersweet moment but we didn’t cry xP

We finally made it back home after a long 11 hour flight with another layover in Iceland. I was so happy to be home as much fun as I had. I missed my bed and my dog! Poor Jenny tho was so sick after our trip but she finally texted me after a few days saying how much fun she had.

So yeah that was my trip to Europe! And I totally plan on going back in 2019. We shall see!

Now onto the bad stuff. Remember in my last blog where I said we were having a cookout with my uncle and Mommom? Well that never happened. I was in the middle of a game day with my friends like I had previously said. Then I got the second worst call of my life. My Mommom has been in a car accident and they were trying to revive her. I was still hopeful she’d be okay. Then I got the first worst call of my life. I screamed and cried when my mom called with the bad news. Not to mention I was in front of my friends and one of Juan’s friends whom I’d just met that day. Mary ended up taking me home and she stayed with me until my parents got there.

Mary went home and we went to the hospital where she had died. It was so hard seeing everyone so sad. Definitely one of the worst days of my life. It was so horrible and I couldn’t believe it was happening. I just wish she had been alive long enough to see and hear about my Europe trip which she was excited for me to go. However...

Back to the Eiffel Tower! I was connecting to their WiFi when all of a sudden the WiFi name “Linda” popped up! I was just in awe and I took a screen shot to send to my mom. So it was if she really was with me in a weird way. (Maybe telling me to get off my phone and enjoy the view!)

I still feel her around me sometimes and I dream about her constantly.

So now onto August 2017! My friend Crystal was getting married. It was an okay wedding. I was not a bridesmaid as she wanted a small ceremony but me and my friend Amanda spent the night with her at the hotel so that was fun. Like I said it was an okay day. I was so tired when I got home tho!

Annnd now onto October!! Mary and Juan’s wedding was SO MUCH FUN. Denee and I were her maids of honor so we made a speech and everything. I was so nervous I dropped my phone with some notes from my speech so I could remember it. It was fine tho! Ofc we danced and ate and it was an all around good day.

Other than that the rest of the year was pretty chill. We went to downtown Annapolis for fireworks on nye so that was fun.

Annnnd now it’s 2018.

Im writing because I’m having surgery next week and I’m really nervous about it. I say it’s no big deal but on the inside I’m like freaking out. I always got the feeling I would die at a young age so maybe this is it. I have no idea. Maybe I’m just looking too much into this and everything will be fine. Who knows! I hope I’ll live through it xD

Lately I’ve been feeling a higher presence of my Mommom and I even had a dream about her today while I was napping. It was weird, she told me not to have sex with Ryan. Which i say is weird because we had a convo about it the other day. It was a really deep and meaningful convo and we usually don’t talk about stuff like that since we aren’t together yet. So who knows. Maybe she was just warning me but I doubt it’ll happen?

Anyway, Mom, if you’re reading this now you know the real me. I’m sorry I’ve been hiding this for so long. But I wanted you to see the other side of me. I hope you’re not reading this because that means you’ve found the sticky note on the side of my night stand. It means I’m dead, basically.

I want you to know I’ve always had a deep connection with my power of empathy and you might think that’s weird and I’m more strange than you thought. This is who i am. When I was younger I used to think I was psychic but now I know its empathy.

If you’re still reading know that I love you and dad and Hannah. Even though we didn’t always get along we had the typical mom and daughter fights probably more than normal but we always ended things on a good note.

Let the rest of my family know that I love them all and I’ll be watching over everyone and haunting y’alls asses so be prepared 😈

Tell my best friends (Mary, Denee, Juan, Michael and Andrew) that they are amazing and wonderful and thank them for being my truly awesome friends.

Especially to Mary and Denee. Mary, mostly for putting up with me for 21+ years. And Denee for 16+ years. I’m sorry for leaving you guys and I’ll be haunting you tooo ;)

Also tell Patti thanks for everything. She was my work mom and I’ll always love her too. I’m glad we became friends even if we didn’t get along at first! Bethany too, thanks for being my best work friend!

And tell Jenny what happened. Tell her I’m sorry for not being able to do the cruise with her and even just visiting her next year. Because I really wanted to. Tell her I love her (In the friend way, I’m not gay, I promise) she just has to know I loved her.

I suppose that’s it. If I really do die, I don’t really have any special requests. Do what you think I would’ve wanted. Take what I have in my account (you know it’s not much) and pay off my bills and then use it to divide between the three of you.

Okay now I’m done. Sorry this was such an emotional post and I really really hope I make it to see September 6th.

Later for now!

~ Brittany

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