#where we have laid
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I was not in attendance; but my costume sure was 👀
#Ju#li#a#when the leaves turn from green to brown#and autumn shades come tumbling down#Julia#to leave a carpet on the ground#where we have laid#[synth arpeggios] [intense piano bassline]#aaaaannnd I have to go back tomorrow! I Want to Fucking Die!#Maybe I can drop some notessssssssss#You didn’t hear that
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still no cure for the addicted to dark haired men disease
#was not sad but idk. frustrated? abt a certain dark haired man#but distracted myself by having a laugh w another dark haired man at the work do. …#also the bar tender where we went is legit my fave I’m sooooo making it my regular hang out spot#also cos it’s so chill it doesn’t feel like a pub? cos it’s not#it feels like a place to hang out where u can have alcohol or not#as opposed to most bar type places have such a have to intoxicate vibe#nah this one is so laid back. second time I’ve been now#anyway I’m in a good mood#I have the most beautiful view rn#there’s cats around#I’m warm ! I can have a BATH tomorrow if I like!#I feel like I’m on holiday but I’m gonna get paid
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like ready to be proven wrong, but I don't think that Cadsuane is necessarily gonna appear any earlier than she did in the books. I think they're just setting her up better than in the books (ie not introducing her as an important player like right before she shows up and expecting us to be impressed by that)
#this isnt something specific to Cadsuane#this happens a lot especially with the Forsaken and whatnot#but Cadsuane is like a big moment where RJ clearly didn't have her laid out when he started the series (which is fine)#and we were just expected to accept that she's been very important this entire time even though she was never brought up once#in all the time we spent in the White Tower#so it just kinda felt weird#and you can claim 'well the characters didn't know about her either'#but like I absolutely don't buy that as an excuse#especially as mentioned before#we spent a lot of time in the White Tower and among Aes Sedai#if she's been this important the entire time she should have come up before now#which i think the show sees and is correcting#wheel of time#cadsuane melaidhrin#wot on prime#wot show spoilers#wot book spoilers
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just full force threw a shoe at my sister's face and when my mum got me alone after she was like 'you shouldn't clobber her. but i get it' 😭
#it kicked off today but in my defence she's actually proper in the wrong this time even my DAD called her a bitch and my mum is FUMING#baso my sister came into my work with her mate when i was closing the other day and all the staff GLARED at them bc of aforementioned#close so i was being v chill so everyone 1) knew it was my sister and not some customer coming in late and 2) her friend wouldnt be uncomfy#like that's the real kicker her i was being extra laid back FOR her friend so he'd feel more at ease. and one thing about me is yes ive#said countless times i have a rural accent but my mum also raised me to know when and how to speak nice if need be bc people are cunts here#so when im waitressing i speak nicely bc it's a stuck up restaurant w stuck up customers but when im with my sister? making a point of#being laid back? my normal accent came through. and her mate when i was gone said i sounded 'really [from the county we live in]'#which WOULD NOT BE A COMPLIMENT. it's baso saying 'your sister sounds local and chavy' without using such explosive words#and my sister LET HIM SAY IT. SHE DIDNT DEFEND ME. and she told my mum about it later bc SHE THOUGHT SHE'D TELL ME OFF#LIKE SHE DID IT TO SNITCH. THERE WAS NO SCENARIO WHERE MY SISTER WASNT BEING A CUNT. and my mum hit the ROOF#one thing she's rlly been big on is loyalty bc it's always been the 3 of us so when she found out my sister let him say that she FLIPPED#and this all happened last night and i only found out this morning bc i overheard them screaming at each other and turns out my mum#tried to keep it from me bc she didnt want my feelings hurt and IM pissed bc it actually did hurt more than i thought it would#like i KNOW what people say about my accent but it's a guy i know? my sister's been friends w him for years? i was being nice?#it's EMBARRASSING like i was clueless & friendly and turned around for him to be like 'look at this stupid local girl' like??#and my sister did NOTHING? it just sucks so i STORMED upstairs when i found out and had it out with my sister#and she knew she was fucked so she did all 'im not talking to you i have nothing to say' AND PUT HER EARPHONES IN?#the way i RIPPED them out. got in her face like okay girl u think i sound like a chav ill act like a chav lets GO#and it just got really aggressive and i wound up grabbing HER OWN SANDAL and full force hurling it at her face 😭 oops#from close range too like i was already in her face so i basically just smacked her with a sandal DSHGJKSH#now we're sat in silence bc alas we still share a room. WHAT the fuck. insane tbh but it's a bit funny. im so angry rn i could KILL#hella goes home
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I think I’ve made myself very clear. No one’s coming forward to stop me. Some of you cared. None of you cared enough. And neither did I. And I’m sorry.
#thirteen reasons why#katherine langford#hannah baker#patterns of distraction#the places you have come to fear the most#the same deep water as you#laid bare#teenage wasteland#where do we go from here#elisa english#elisaenglish
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flint is becoming my top fav in ttcc again . unreal. its all come full circle
#dude i literally started out. with them being my favorite#i laid eyes on them and fell in love deadass#then graham and cathal stole the show for a solid few months#but now.#the only thing that sucks is my graham and cathal brainrot is lessening bc of it:(((#im rlly attached to their dynamic im not ready to say goodbyee come backk#i do still have old stuff i can post of them#and hey at least now i can do flint and cosmos dynamic the justice it deserves like ive been wanting to .#theyve been my 2nd fav dynamic for. AGES. and no one ever posts abt them ..#i will be the change .#and ig i am a little burntout on cathal and graham stuff so . maybe its for the best#ill just kinda let things happen . and we will see where it goes#i still love them sm . but flint might be my fav character now#toontown#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#toontown firestarter#flint bonpyre
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Idk if you saw or not but a new chapter of the fury of a shattered mirror dropped last night! I haven’t read it yet but I thought I should let you know 😎👍
awughgh HELL YEAH!! ive been away from my laptop for a while so i didnt see, thank you birdy!! :] this is the best news ive had all day hkjgh <33 excited very excited going to read it now <33
#volta transmissions#SKILLS ARE BACK BABEYYYYYYY!! ehehehehe :] oh i LOVE seeing them come back from just ''??????'' SMILES REALLY HAPPILY#welcome back to the world little ones... oh im so happy to see them... :'] ''You do you softie'' EHEHE... skills interactions :D! yay!!!!!#okay i'll add more liveblogging in the tags as i go probably hkjhg <33 i appreciate you very much birdy <33#''the avant-garde prick is just making shit up again'' HAKJDHKJ... ''You did us proud holding out til the end'' WAH... ENDURANCE... ;O;#WELCOME BACK ENCY SMILES!!! no motorics skills yet though thats to be expected hkjh <3 ency ''you have the facts'' and#empathy ''and the emotions'' HKJGH IS THAT A FACTSFEELINGS SKILLSPOSTING REFERENCE /J lots of voli talking!!! very happy about this <3#VOLITION - ''if we had the logician here...'' ''...'' ''damnit i thought that would work'' HAHAJKSHDSKJH SMILES. HA.#''Punch something. maybe Coach will show up'' HHFKJH... oh my god this makes me so happy... cmon we gotta get the gang back together...#half light!! hello!! my darling!! LETS GO!! ough buT NOT ENOUGH TO GET ARMS BACK NOOUIGHJ MOTORICS WHERE ARE YOU LITTLE BUDDIES???#''try to get eyes back online'' ''come on come on--'' OUGH I LOVE... i love how theyre all supporting each other as they come back online..#TEAMWORK!! CMON LETS GET EVERYONE BACK!! YEAH BOI WE GOT A MOTORICS BACK UP!! HELLO PERCEP! calm down! you need composure in here!!#THE JOYWIRE... OUGH STOP STOP IM SO FOND... VOLI CMON. nooo ourgh takes damage... ''You were really gonna cut me out?'' AWAH... WAHHH!!!!!#ow my heart my HEART. chemi baby my little darling... hugging him kissing his forehead... THERES OUR LOGICIAN HELLO DARLING!!#hkjh trying to cue in interfacing DAMN :'] good metaphor anyway concept it was very well laid. voli keeping track of each of them too hehe#HI DRAMA YAYY! platonic love story! friends!!! ''Neuroplasticity's off the charts.'' ''I'm surprised you know a word that long that isn't-#'''amphetamines''' ''Dextromethorphan asshole'' HAJKSH YOU FUCKING TELL 'EM! YOU'RE NOT E-CHEMISTRY FOR NOTHING!!!#again with trying to get Phys back in hkjhg INLANDDD SMILES HI THERE DREAMER!! Logic just like ''yeah. i hate it here.'' ''have you tried?'#HM NO INLAND I DONT THINK WE HAVE HKJHG... /FLAGRANT DISREGARD LETS GO LETS GET IT/ SHIVERS MY DARLING!!!#okay this is the 20th tag. hopefully a reblog will be enough to finish out my thoughts but god knows i have so much to say hjhg
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I wish we had gotten to see more domestic moments between Louis and Lestat. Ik they aren't 'important' to the overall story but it's just like... pls.
What's worse is when we get Claudia's POV in ep 4 we actually see the outskirts of some domestic moments between them -when louis tells her no running in the house he and lestat are sitting on the couch together calmly talking, on her 17th birthday we see them singing happy birthday and then dancing together in the courtyard- so we KNOW these moments are happening, we just don't get to see them because Louis is to preoccupied with the pain. Which, fair, but still I wanna see them doing stuff together without the curtain of pain
#thinking about how louis and or lestat love seeing movies together#was there ever a moment where louis laid on lestats chest on the couch while he read a book? no noise but the sound a pages turning and#the crackle of the fireplace? Lestat playing with Louis' hair while staring at him lovingly??#could louis ever convince lestat to have a nice christmas together?#did they ever play some jazz on the gramophone and slow dance together? but the slow dancing thats essentially just hugging while swaying?#god i can think of so many moments that could have happened but never know if they did#iwtv#interview with the vampire#loustat#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#we hear all the bad times i wanna hear the good times#louis finds a french book thats above his language level and lestat helps him read it#louis sings to himself one day when he thinks hes alone and lestat overhears and tries to get him to sing more but louis is embarrassed#lestat trying to teach louis to play chess but louis keeps messing with him calling the knights horses#and at first hes mad but then he sees the mischievous look on louis' face and just melts#i jist.... i love them so much.....#louis trying to nonverbally tell lestat he loves him....
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real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.
will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again
#so random disclaimer this girl is like a year older than me and in high school it’s like a nono for older and younger batch to like be#a thing so i know i generally have no chance but i like to live in my own insanity and the progression of my crush on her has been absolute#ly cuckoo bananas. so like it started out as ‘i wanna be your friend’ and progressed into ‘shit they’re really pretty’ to ‘wow ur so??’ to#‘fuck i like them’ and then it died down and then by all golly it came back but more of a hallway crush now which is bearable bc i’m#not really a part of their life?? like we know each other but we don’t wave and shit and we don’t like ever interact that much so i was lik#ok this is fine bc they literally never think of me so i’m just admiring from afar. and the FIRST inciting incident was i request them onig#and i expect to not get accepted because according to their friends they onyl accept close friends and i’m like k this is a bad idea probs#but the worst that could happen is i get left in their follow requests right?? RIGHT?? but then within like two hours of reqing. lord.#i got. ACCEPTED. and they requested back. and suddenly it’s +1 tangibility like ok?? maybe we’re not as strangers as i thought we were#i later discovered i was not that special for this but also?? cool?? anyways for a while it kind of laid dead and we never spoke at all eve#tho i was in their acc now (at this time they barely posted but whenever they did it was so?? funny like they would slap the randomest shit#on that acc) and it was still a hallway crush altho my friends r awful (/pos) people who would always make me pass their hallway and i#would run into them so often but at this point we only ever like exchanged glances and they would walk right past me like i wasnt even ther#but THEN the second incident happened which was basically we had to play instruments for this christmas event thing and bc they’re literall#y amazing they played for it and i was roped into it and. i was so gay the whole time. bc who wears a leather jacket to school and gets the#prettiest haircut ever right on the last day before a long break?? and the worst part is whenevr something confusing happened they would#turn to me and this one other person and we’d b laughing together. like we r friends. and they’re so fucking nice they were checking up on#us the whole time i was literally dying i kept dropping my pick and stealing looks AURURUGH and they’re so gen funny and interesting i just#and the first few days of holiday break i just couldn’t stop thinking abt them it was so bad? like that was the moment where i was genuinel#like is this more than a hallway crush… eventually it died back down until the next event we had to play together where they were being SO#SO much more comf w me? like exchanging knowing looks when smt funny happens and that stuff.. at this point i didnt even know what to like#think of my crush on them so i just let it be yk. atp they’re not even waving at me in the hallways at all still so maybe they’re just bein#nice! BUT NO. THAT IS UNTIL I AUDITIONED FOR A BAND (theyr in charge of accepting) AND THEY ACCEPTED ME WHICH COOL BUT LIKE A DAY LATER I#HEARD FROM OUR MUTUAL FRIEND THAT THEY SAID ‘yeaa im so happy i got (my name)’ AS IN IN THE BAND. LIKE. HELLO?? HI U THIUGHT ABT ME?? and#during the first band mtg where everyone’s all awk they kept making eye contact w me and asking if i was good and making sure i got to say#smt before anyone made a decision and it. murdered. me. i’m sorry maybe it’s the fanfic writer in me or this shit is literally nothing and#think they’re just nice to everyone but who cares bc it means they’re nice to ME too. and then last week happened. which was like the nail#in the coffin. INTERACTION ACTIVITY. I IMPULSIVELY ASK IF THEY WANNA B GROUPMATES AND THEY SAY YES. THEY ONLY TALK TO ME AND THEIR FRIENDS.#I ACT STUPID. THEY ALUGH AND TOUCH MY SHOULDER. I ASK ABT THEIR CAMERA AND THEY GO ON A LONG-ISH (cute) RANT ABT SMTH. THEY ASK WHY I HAVE#BIG ASS STACK OF POST ITS. WE TALK. THEY LAUGH AT MY JOKES. SUDDENLY. THEY SAY A FULL HELLO IN THE HALLS. THEY WAVE AT ME A DAY LATER. FUCK
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i am this 🤏 close to writing a sorta rest-of-season-7 buddie spec fic even tho i have 5 days to finish MY LITERAL COLLEGE THESIS and cannot motivate myself to even open that lmao
#not to mention since 2017 i have written ONE fic#before that ofc many but i was under 14 they don’t count 😭#but this goddamn show has reactivated my buddie brain worms#like i WAS FUCKING THERE when it premiered and watched live for FIVE SEASONS then gave up on it#and here we are again#911#i have a note in my notes app where i’ve laid out my plan for the fic i’m screwed
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Me, explaining things in a way that's completely incoherent: I don't understand what you find so difficult to comprehend???
#i think the problem is that something in my brain structures information in a way thats hard for other people to understand#it may be a dyslexia thing. but it is the most frustrating thing to be misunderstood without any#idea of howbwhat ur saying doesnt make sense. like. look. fucking. its right there. laid out in a way that looks like an absolute disaster#bc u would think with as many control issues id b extremely organized but no. i kno where everything is#but its in a pile. aye. this project is such a clusterfuck#this is how my brain collapses. what sort of shape will i b in by the time we finish? (ie my birthday lol)#let's not think abt it. it wont b good.#everyday i get texts and emails and i have to put my head down and take a deep breath so by brain doesnt explode. the amount of psychic#pain i am burdened with when i open my manuscript doc is shocking.#is this my villian origin story? ive lost the ability to not look like im in pain while im in meetings. if u pay close attention u can see#the misery behind my eyes. my boss is gonna turn up the 23rd and b like: ready to go get icecream to celebrate#ur paper and phd accptance? and im gonna b like: i would rather eat glass#if u try to rope me into a surprise party i might walk out. excpet i wont bc im not that much of a brat#theres nothing to celebrate. just let me lay down on the floor for a while#unrelated
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#how do people casually bring up that theyre gay at work hahahaha#asking for a friend and MAYBE because i find one of my coworkers cute and she is def of the sort of vibe where its like#i could see her being straight or gay both easily you know#anyways how do i just like float that without it being awks you know what i mean#im not one of those obvious lesbians people default to thinking im straight mostly#anyways!!! girl help i am SO BAD at showing interest and availability but#i feel like some groundwork needs to be laid before i flirt you know#and#im not interested in the game of 'oh you dont know what you are yet or youre probably straight but maybe i can change your mind' hahaha#im too old and tired for that now i just wanna meet someone#who knows for sure they like girls#not just like girls but you know... would be happy to spend the rest of their life with a girl#so i gotta find out#and we never really talk about stuff like dating or relationships so its hard to just casually mention it without it seeming forced#actually maybe this is why social media is useful sometimes you dont always have to find out by asking but#unfortunately i dont use it like at all except for shit like this anymore hmmm ooops#p
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my back hurts from hugging my dear friend goodbye while he was on the floor….. time for some advil
#I almost feel emotional relief knowing that he’s not hurting anymore#and that we don’t have to monitor him all the time for problems we could barely help him with#it rained three times in the past couple of weeks before he was at his worst and he loved walking around and smelling everything in the yard#all the wood and dirt and plants and the cool feeling really helped him feel happy#so he got to experience a few more rare instances where he got to chill outside without much exertion or heat#i’m not happy about it but i feel closure and i’ve accepted it#I’ve been grieving for him for weeks#taking care of him as his state deteriorated was kind of like the bargaining stage#I also thought that his first tooth fell out because we gave him (hollow) ice cubes as a treat so i thought it was my fault for a long time#since the tumor was nearly undetectable at the time I thought it was irritation but it just inflated terribly over time#he went very gently when he laid down to get the shot as though he understood it was his time
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I think the funny thing is that worship teams, in my experience with pretty chill nondenominational churches, tend to have weirdly specific ecosystems. the vocal leader and the keyboardist are best buddies. sound techs and visual techs tend to have beef, for whatever reason. backup singers and/or vocalists who don't play an instrument usually need a confidence boost. sound techs and the rhythm section are basically telepaths with each other. the drummer is always a goofball. the visual media tech is all but all-knowing. everything is held together by duct tape and prayers.
#I have a team meshing in a way I've never seen before right now and I'm SO into it ngl#like... I know part of why a couple specific sound techs have not liked me (visual tech) before but sometimes#they just... act like they know better than me even though for the most part they've never laid hands on our visual presentation program#like buddy I've been at this for 6 years I think I know how to troubleshoot this#anyway. a sound guy is being very nice to be and respectful and I'm about to die about it. CAN I MAKE THIS TEAM LIKE THIS#ALL THE TIME????#also I say that visual media techs are all knowing bc I've seen it happen. I'm not just bragging I promise.#it's bc we're sitting in the back of the room where we can see everything and we're literally looking at#basically ALL the notes on what#what needs to happen in a day. all the time. we have all the notes and all the awareness of what's happening#idk just. worship team ecosystems. a delicate balance of friendship faith and donuts.#Lu rambles
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oh my godddd if i do not hear back one way or another about this job before the weekend i will go INSANE
#they said they were gonna make a decision by end of day thursday!!! where is the decision babe!!!#i have been so anxious this entire week!!!!#i just bought a huge bottle of wine bc i have tried and failed all week to cope with this without Substances#i do not handle uncertainty well!!!!!!#if i don't hear back by monday i'm just gonna assume i didn't get it and start applying to other jobs#if i get ghosted i'll be sooooo pissed#like ghosting job candidates is bad 100% of the time but i think it'd be downright MEAN to do this to the four of us who are up for the job#we're all people who got laid off from this company and had this one hope of returning to normalcy dangled in front of us#we at least deserve a yes or no!!!!#i want the answer to be yes bc i don't want to have to do any more interviews lmao. and bc it's a safe & not too hard job#i would not be too upset with a no though bc i could make a lot more and have more job stability elsewhere#m.txt
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Welp! Hung out with our longtime former ED at an event and it turns out I'm holding a grudge, maybe forever. Shit may be exponentially more fucked up now and I do not hold her responsible for the actions of others but also like, get the fuck off that high horse
you gave that man an engraved invitation into this house
#i do not forgive you!#i hope you feel bad!#or at least have felt an appropriate amount of regret and responsibility#not to mention the ways she laid the groundwork for so much other shit we're dealing with#like that guy's dead and the shit he did needs to be named (do speak ill of the dead actually#and the other needs to be held responsible for his actions#but do not pretend you were some pristine perfect ideal ED you are absolutely partly to blame for how we got here#like you led him in by the hand and told us he could be trusted and gave him keys to every lock you hadn't already broken#and people make mistakes!#but you also spent years cultivating an environment where you could take your feelings out on your employees every once in a while#so fuck right off#who's got two thumbs and a normal workplace#also the union finally got certified two months after the vote lol#had a few 'oh god now that I've said it out loud' moments the last few weeks#back to where i make sense#also to be clear tonight was mostly a pleasant conversation it was just also a useful reminder
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