Tumgik
#when your friend group is small but you're all gay and mentally ill
lotus-pear · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
dazai stop rizzing up the enemy challenge go!!
6K notes · View notes
thelucyverse · 3 years
Text
Suburbs fic idea Milippa /2 (1)
When Philippa wakes on the next morning, it is because someone is ringing the doorbell, and for a moment she is filled with limitless rage at being woken when for once she managed to sleep through the night, at being so tired it borders on feeling dead inside, at the frustration of having to be awake and alive.
This is a draft version. Expect nothing else or maybe wait for the finished product on ao3 lol
Note to self: thinking about maybe changing Tilly to another single woman instead? Single mom? Idk... I think Tilly/Chris is interesting, but like, idk
Then, she takes a deep breath and drags herself out of bed, takes her meds, goes looking for her clothes and only briefly goes into the bathroom to make herself look like more of a person. Then, she forces a smile onto her face and faces the world - or rather, the hell that is a small neighborhood.
Her first welcome committee is made up out of a woman and man - the redhead from the window yesterday, and the man presumably her husband from how he's standing next to her, carrying a plate with cake.
"Hi!" the redhead chirps brightly, beaming over her entire face. Philippa doesn't know whether that is making it easier or harder to keep the smile on her own face. Perhaps it's both - annoying yet also contagious somehow, and they cancel each other out.
"I - hello. Do come in."
"Thanks!" the redhead skips inside, followed by the two men who have yet to say a single word. The one holding the cake platter looks a little awkward with it, and Philippa points him to the thankfully already fully built-in kitchen counter, earning herself a grateful smile.
"Oh, I'm Sylvia, but everyone calls me Tilly!" the woman tells her happily and extends her hand. "And this is my husband Chris - oh, did you?"
"Already handed over the cake," Chris says with a fond chuckle, and Philippa smiles, too.
"Yes - thank you, really."
"You're welcome!" Tilly beams. "We're so happy that you're moving in here, the house has been standing empty way too long! And we have a wonderful neighborhood, there's a holiday party and now in the summer there will be barbecues... Um, yes, sorry," she breaks off a little awkwardly when she notices that she hasn't even let Philippa introduce herself.
"Hello- nice to meet you both. My name is Philippa Georgiou, feel free to call me Philippa. I must say, I am not much of a people person myself- I'm sure we will all still get on well, I just thought I would say that immediately, because otherwise you might think I'm standoffish when I really just have a limited capacity of... /people/ energy for a day, I usually prefer the anonymity of the city because of it, but I'm quite burned out from work and got recommended to live in a smaller town to calm down a little."
Tilly gapes at her a little, and Philippa suppresses a wince. She had planned to be honest from the start (well... About all but one thing, at least), so she wouldn't have to start awkward explanations later and get it all over with instead in one go. But maybe that was a little /too/ honest, now...
"Oh, alright," Chris says a little awkwardly, and Tilly finally catches herself.
"I guess maybe we should leave early then, leave you some energy to meet the rest of the street?"
"No, no, don't mind me, I can survive a day of welcomes, and we haven't tried your cake yet... I just meant in general, for the future... Wait, is really everyone going to come today?" Philippa can't keep her voice from showing some of the pain she feels at that thought. She had thought it would only be her direct neighbors, and maybe even then not all in one day, as people are busy with their own lives... But of course, in a town like this most everyone is at home on a Saturday, with nothing else to do but the routine of their daily lives.
"Um... Are you sure that it's fine? I can text and ask whether some can come tomorrow, or on the weekend, if you'd like... If you're okay with them knowing, that is?"
"Yes, thank you, that would be a relief. I don't mind at all," she never caref much about what people think, and in this case she actually likes spreading awareness on the issue, mental illness is still way too stigmatized, when in the current economic climate most can do nothing /but/ work themselves to exhaustion - not that she needs to, not anymore. She got lucky, making as much money as she did during the last years... But in the process, she unlearned what it means to relax and take a minute to herself.
"Alright, then I'll just let everyone know!" Tilly beams, pulling out her phone. "Not that we have, like, a neighborhood groupchat, just several inofficial friendgroup chats, we're all friends here, really"
"Yes?" Philippa asks, sounding perhaps a little too amused and slightly unbelieving now.
"You don't think we'll be friends?" the expression on Tilly's face is the epitome of 'Puppy-dog eyes', and somehow Philippa doesn't think that she is doing it on purpose. Next to her, Chris is looking at her with a quite besotted expression on his face.
"Oh, by the American definition, sure. I would just use the word acquaintance instead, you see? In most places of the world, you don't use the word friends quite so often, just for what you might call best friends here - and we don't have a ton of 'best friends', just one, maybe two or three in a group, and if we move and have a very good friend there that might be my best friend in that town, but it will be clear that it is not the best friend in general. Then maybe a few close friends, a bunch of friends, and friendly acquaintances..."
"And neighbors are just acquaintances?" Chris asks, sounding sincerely curious.
"Friendships can happen there too, but personally I would take even longer to switch the terms there - you're neighbours first and foremost, you have to live in the same area, that's a category all on its own."
"So, you don't think we can be friends soon?"
Philippe laughs. "Maybe we can be. You both seem nice so far, I promise."
"/So far/?" Tilly asks, just a little bit affronted.
"Well, don't know you very well yet, after all. There is more to a person than just whether they are friendly to a newcomer, and there are a number of issues I'd have to know about someone before I can consider them a 'friend'."
Her gaze falls onto the [xx and she xx unhappy memory about one bigot manager oso]
"Oh- ooh, don't worry about that! We're an inclusive bunch, or trying to be. You won't have to worry about-" she nods at xx, "Just down the street Joan and Keyla Owesukan are also a couple - no, married now of course, and we also have a bunch of gay guys, and everyone is just nice in general... So, you don't have to worry about being gay, a single woman Xxlikeherself?, or a witch"
"I'm not a witch," Philippa says a little perplexed.
"Then what are those crystals?"
"Oh, I just think they're pretty. I'm a bit of a magpie, if anything, a hoarder of shiny things..."
"Oh, you'll have to meet Paul then! He's an engineer, but he makes some shiny jewellery in his freetime, and also he's gay, living with his husband Hugh- not that I think you have to be best friends with all the gay people, of course! Just that well, you're here all alone in the big house, unmarried... And he knows everyone in the gay community, I think, might be able to introduce you to some ladies in nearby neighborhoods, I don't think Joan or Keyla would be much help there, they mostly stick to themselves"
Philippa makes a face. "I don't know whether anyone would want to be in a relationship with me, with how much time I need for myself," that had always been true - only in the past, she had retreated to write. Now, she just needs to be alone to breathe. "And I wouldn't want to live with anyone, I'm quite content having the entire house for myself I don't think many people would be willing to have a serious relationship at a distance that way."
Tilly looks like she is about to say something - like maybe, she knows someone fitting to Philippa's description - but then she just smiles.
2 notes · View notes
Note
Hi! I love your youtube channel & I think you're super cool! I'm a newer follower and was wondering if you could give a summary of the concept of Fostered---it sounds like a really interesting series!
Aww thank you!
Yes I can!! Fostered is too thicc for me to give extensive summaries (unless y’all want this) and there is very little you need to know from the earlier books to understand the current ones! That’s because as myself and the series have aged, its genre, age category, and plot points have changed!
Here’s a small outline of the main characters:
Reeve
Protagonist + narrator for all “main” Fostered books
Sister of Lonan
Will write salty breakup songs about people she was never in a relationship with
Bi as fuck!
Foster
Was once Reeve’s boyfriend?? no??
Best friend of Harrison
Will write love songs about tofu
Ace as fuck!!!
Harrison
Best friend of Foster
Also Reeve’s best friend!
Sort of love-interest of Lonan (we’re getting there lol)
Will write love songs about waffles
Gay! as! fuck!
Protagonist of Moth Work
Lonan
Reeve’s brother!
An antagonist for a good chunk of this series
Will not write love songs he has no heart (he does I am just mean)
Also bi as fuck!! Everyone is bi in that family lol we love it
Here’s a breakdown (CW: there’s a lot of violence/convo about mental illness/potentially triggering content in these summaries, so tread with caution):
Fostered (book 1) to Resisted (book 3):
These books (Fostered, Hunted, Resisted) are probably the most harmonious out of the 6 (7 including Moth Work) so far! That’s because for a long time, I believed Fostered would end at three books (initially a standalone, then duology). They’re all closely linked through the “foster homes” plot (hence the name of the series) and are obviously the most dystopian of the books (all three are also YA). You can feel the 2014 dystopian vibes in this book lol. I wrote this summary 5 years ago for my first ask ever and it sums up that idea:
The book takes place in the not-too-distant future where children who’ve committed crimes, are neglected, or have chosen to, are sent to behavioural detention centres – what everyone else that’s not the government like to call ‘foster homes’. The story revolves around a fifteen-year-old girl named Reeve who’s lived two years in a ‘foster home’ after being accused of her sister’s murder. Following an accident that she caused which subsequently led to her escape of her foster home, she stumbles across a group of kids, who like her, have gone through the lifestyle and also have escaped. She makes an alliance with them and everything seems in its place until she finds out that a team of hunters are searching for her because of the same accident. Unable to remember anything that happened from the event, she then learns that maybe all things don’t point to her – what really happened on the day she escaped? 
(props to 14-year-old me for writing this)
I wrote these three books so quickly (though at the time, as a thirteen-year-old, it felt like drafting took forever). I started Fostered in October of 2014, and by May of 2015, I was halfway through Resisted :))))). How?? These books are all above 85k??? I could never!!!
FOSTERED (book 1 - YA dystopian):
Follows the above plot. What isn’t mentioned above is how this book starts. We start with Reeve (15 at the time–a baby!!!) chillin in an abandoned storage unit she was hoping to use as shelter. HOWEVER, plot twist of the season–there are already people there!
She’s semi-ambushed by these people who she later learns are our good ol’ pals Foster and Harrison. The boys are also taking care of a 6-year-old girl named Essie who they love fiercely!! They’re sketched out by Reeve, which we later find out is because–they! know! her! 
Foster, Harrison, and Reeve were actually all the closest pals in a ‘foster home’ they called WAFFLE. Reeve forgets that during the disastrous accident she causes that separates them (she blows up the foster home lmaooo) but lookie here–the squad is reunited! Eventually everyone comes to love each other (though it ain’t like that in the beginning) + Foster and Reeve have a romance which I find so bizarre now?? They would never.
The squad is being “hunted” by a group of “chasers” (I LOVE dystopian lool) headed by a woman named Red who is actually?? a badass? She tries to kill them a bunch of times, Reeve kills Lonan’s sister by using her as a human shield, Essie dies, I’m awful!
HUNTED (book 2 - YA dystopian):
After Essie’s death, the group is shook! Harrison especially as he is *soft* and the “leader” of the group. To protect his other ducklings who are now the most sought after people in America lmao (Foster and Reeve), he does something SCANDALOUS and joins the *government* AKA all the evil people putting innocent children in these awful detention centres. What a 180! Essentially, he does this to purposefully manipulate investigations into Foster and Reeve away from them, but Reeve doesn’t know this so she’s cheesed when she finds out (she feels #betrayed)!
Harrison’s departure of the group triggers the group’s breakup. Harrison joins an *elite* section of the government that *I believe* tries to wrangle runaway foster kids?? This group is lead by our other good pal Lonan and this is the first book he appears in! He takes Red’s place as antagonist in this book.
The group also includes Holly, a badass who is also Foster’s older sister (and also Lonan’s first serious girlfriend)! She’s scary! She also dies by hanging in a blood-drinking cult mid-way through this book! don’t! ask! Margo is this group’s tech analyst, and she’s a mentally distant hippie (and Harrison’s first and last serious girlfriend which obvi didn’t work out lol he’s gay!) Idk what Harrison’s job was here, but he learns techy stuff from Margo!
This book is important because it establishes Lonan, who continues to be a pivotal character as the series progresses. It also establishes Lonan and Harrison’s relationship. Obvi Lonan is the antagonist in this book and won’t make his redemption arc for another 1book lol, but him and Harrison have a bit of a bizarre relationship. Though they’re almost rivals, they almost adore being each other’s rivals (but don’t tell them that)? After Harrison leaves Lonan’s team, the squad essentially is *hunted* by them, hence the book title lol. 
By the end of this book, a few important things happen! Lonan kills Margo (remember, Harrison’s first and last girlfriend lol, we could say Lonan was killing his competition lol is that too much), this obviously reinforces his role as bad guy! After the book’s events, Lonan eventually overtakes the group and they’re all imprisoned! Love it!
RESISTED (book 3 - YA dystopian):
This is my favourite Fostered book because there’s just so much tea! We start in “headquarters” AKA Lonan’s pride and joy! After he kills off his old boss so he can be Ultimate Antagonist (actually because she essentially killed his girlfriend ahaha), he’s the Man in Charge and power trippin like crazy. 
Reeve is separated from Foster and Harrison who are also in HQ because she’s mentally unwell. Lonan has given her the job of executing people (because he is evil) which she ain’t diggin! so Lonan takes it upon himself to address her mental health concerns (which obviously isn’t helping because they mutually hate each other). 
Eventually, Reeve barters with Lonan for what she wants by using Holly’s death (which only she and Foster witnessed) as leverage. As I mentioned above, Lonan essentially kills/drives away his entire *elite government squad* which means! He needs another one! Reeve uses this as an opportunity and says WELL you COULD hire Foster and Harrison. Lonan does and VOILA we suddenly have a new squad!
This is really where we build a relationship between Lonan and Reeve who have previously done nothing but try to kill each other! They actually bond in this bizarre kind of way. While they still don’t like each other, they mutually understand each other more than Foster and Harrison do as in many ways, Lonan and Reeve have both done the same awful things (lots of killing people :))). 
This all builds up to the epic reveal that they are actually half siblings (they share a mother) and oh DOES THE TEA START BOILING. This news causes major tension in the OG squad (Reeve, Foster, Harrison) as Foster and Harrison think Lonan has done too many irredeemable things to be forgiven, despite the fact that he and Reeve are related. They are right! However, Reeve isn’t so quick to decide. 
She and Lonan go through a lot together (including kidnapping! attempted murder! An explosion! Reeve pretending to be a corpse!) which are still some of my favourite things to re-read and the reason I love this book the most out of all the books I’ve written. This is where #redemption arc occurs!
This book is too long for me to cover everything, but essentially their relationship is the most important! The book ends when the squad (now joined by Lonan) is forced out of hiding because Reeve is injured and actually needs real medical attention! This leads to ANOTHER separation, with Reeve heading back to a foster home for the first time in a few years!
Hollowed (book 4) to Rewired (book 6)
HOLLOWED (book 4 - YA (?) dystopian (?))
Book four is my least favourite book of the 6 and that’s because it’s melodramatic and I was finding my writing style! It’s not quite appropriate for YA because of its violent subject matter, but wouldn’t appeal to adults, so it’s a bit category-less. Dystopian elements still exist, but are less relevant, so it’s also a bit muddled in term of genre.
All you need to know in terms of events are that Reeve meets someone named Lincoln in the foster home she’s put in (see previous) who ends up being a horrifically abusive person. He sort of shifts into the role as antagonist, though from this book on, the lines between good guys and bad guys blur. Hollowed also introduces a new character–Glenne! Glenne is Lonan’s second serious girlfriend and remnants of this relationship still show up in current Fostered spinoffs (tho she will be irrelevant in Houses With Teeth most likely). 
SPLINTERED (book 5 - YA?????)
The genre and category of this book are impossible to define. We continue almost where we left off in book four, and this book is pretty unremarkable in terms of events lol. The squad remains the same, except toward the end, we’re introduced to Darren, a dude from California who hears about Lonan’s *elite government squad* (before the government disowned him) and hopes they can help him locate his missing brother (tho he don’t reveal this until book six). 
This book is mostly about Lonan’s declining mental health that still has not gotten better. Some hints of Lonan and Harrison’s relationship getting closer are also dropped in this book.
REWIRED (book 6 - Adult (???) literary fiction sometimes???)
The category of this book is bizarre. It begins as weirdly maybe almost YA, but dips into adult literary fiction at some points. This book is where I really grasped my style and so the genre and category reflect that transition. 
What you need to know about Rewired is the progression of Darren and Reeve’s relationship as it goes from acquaintances to PALS to MORE THAN PALS to I don’t! want to be! your! pal! This book is so weird and disjointed because of this transition away from YA dystopian and into adult literary fiction. We also get even more Lonan and Harrison relationship development as Reeve meddles her way into business that is not hers!
MOTH WORK (spinoff - no categories anymore I have no idea)
The most recent Fostered book! We finally get to see Lonan and Harrison’s relationship on the page and oh boy! Is there tea! As Lonan struggles to grasp trauma from childhood, and Harrison struggles to help him, their relationship goes to places it ain’t never been before! This eventually leads to a much needed separation where Lonan explores a new relationship with Eliza (his father’s ex oooooof) and Harrison figures out what he needs in order to live a healthier, happier life. MW is a bridge between book six and seven.
HOUSES WITH TEETH (book 7 - adult literary fiction *I’m hoping*)
I have yet to write this book, but we’re back in Reeve’s head! Here’s a synopsis I’ve shared before:
After escaping a toxic relationship, twenty-year-old Reeve disappears for the second time in one year. She’s drawn to Wicker, a mealy town outside New York City, whose disappearances of affluent girls has caught her attention. The day she arrives, a sinkhole buries one of them in the front yard of her new home, a fixer-upper she shares with estranged friend, Foster. Quickly she falls prey to speculation by herself and others, who try to connect her to the tragedy. And even stranger, false recognitions as the girl in the ground, and the many other missing Wicker girls make her feel more and more like one of them–these alluring, unknown women. 
This book is very much my vibe now as a writer, however, it’s been difficult to re-integrate back into Reeve’s head with all Fostered’s dystopian elements removed! I don’t have much else to share about this book since I know so little about it, but it is essentially my current project.
So I hope that was helpful! There’s a lot of unexplored territory that I worry might be impossible to get into because I legitimately do not remember a lot @sarahkelsiwrites calls me a fake fan lol (I genuinely am), but if y’all ever want to know more, I am 100% down to share whatever! This was also a lot of info so if y’all have questions, send ‘em in!
Enjoy this abridged version of Fostered!
–Rachel
25 notes · View notes
lunarmochi · 2 years
Text
to her;
hey.
been a minute, hasn't it?
are you doing alright? i'm assuming you're coping well. you were always better at having support systems and a consistent group of supportive friends. i hope you're doing better than i am.
what shows have you been watching lately? did you ever catch up on demon slayer? what other magic girl shows have you gotten into? it's... it's a shame, isn't it? we never finished that last episode of tbhk together. i never had the heart to finish it, after we had already watched every episode together. i never started owl house or helluva boss. you should've made me.
how is your progress in genshin? i'm assuming you're much farther than me. i lost the motivation to play after we broke up. have you finally gotten to liyue? i found it admirable how you were determined to finish all the mondstadt quests before progressing.
you're... you're still fresh in my memory, y'know? it's as if it was just last week that i could take comfort in knowing that you loved me. that you would always be at the top of my sidebar.
i'm sorry.
i don't think i'll be able to look at you without apologizing, for a while.
i'm sorry i had to be your first. i'm sorry your first relationship had to be with someone as mentally ill as me. i'm sorry i didn't listen to you. i'm sorry that i didn't take your advice, despite how much you told me it was because you wanted the best for me. i'm sorry i wasn't a good girlfriend. you would tell me otherwise, but if i was we wouldn't have ended up like this.
after you broke up with me, i've been learning a lot of things about the world and myself. would you be proud of me? i've... i've been infinitely more lonely. it's funny. i have people around me, but i can't talk to anyone about you. about how things were with you. it feels like i have no one left, but i'm bearing the weight of the world on my shoulders.
i've been learning about myself, too. not much, but little things. i've learned that going no-contact with the people i'm trying to cut out of my life truly helps me. out of sight, out of mind, as they say. i started calculus at the community college, and i'm somehow not failing! would you be proud of me? i was never really a math gay, but it makes me happy that i'm not completely lost. i'm learning how to cope, too, finally. i got back into writing, and i started doing wordle. i also started watching some anime again.
i miss you. all that codependency really is kicking me in the ass now. it's not your fault, though. me being codependent in a relationship was who i am, it was never your fault.
but anyway, i miss you so much. i miss going to you about the little things that happened throughout my day. or asking you for advice on whether i should eat this or that. i miss bonding with you over shitting on religion, or gossiping about others even if it was a bad habit. i miss talking to you about your ocs and your art. i miss seeing you ramble about the things you love. whether it be the latest owl house episode or how much you love thoma, i miss it. i miss it and i miss you.
i miss those intimate moments at 2am where we would talk about the world and what we want to do in the future. i miss having date nights where you would watch your comfort anime with me, and listen to my commentary about it. i miss playing games with you. i miss playing genshin with you, even if i would be the fourth wheel and watch as you tried your best. i wish we could've played minecraft together and made that house we always talked about.
i miss you taking care of me. how you would always check in with me, whether it be before bed or when i would start to get quiet in a server. i miss you talking me through an attack, and coaxing me to breathe. i miss you taking care of me when i would feel small. despite what i say, i miss when you would spoil me. i miss the little gifts you would buy me, or the art you would make without any prompting. i miss the way you knew me and what i needed. i miss the way you would respect how different my... interests were, despite you being ace and having no real understanding of why i liked the things i did. i miss the way you would praise me for getting through my day, or the nicknames you would call me because you know i loved them.
i wish you didn't leave.
i wish you were still here.
i wish you weren't fucking right about how it was better that we ended things, for our own mental health. i wish i wasn't so mentally ill that i made your health worse. i wish we could've worked it out. god, i'm sorry your first relationship was long-distance. i know how hard it was on you. i'm sorry, i can't stop crying while writing this.
i miss you. i wish you were still here.
i hate the way i can't bring myself to hate you. you weren't unhealthy for me enough to hate you, but you weren't a model of perfection either. it's this grey middle ground where i can't bring myself to talk shit about you or disrespect your boundaries. i love you too much to do that.
two months and it hasn't gotten any easier. i only just hid your sweater and stuffed animal away last week. i didn't have the courage to wear it, but it sat on my bed. staring at me, tempting me. i have all those little picrews i made, and that video you told me i should've deleted. i have that presentation i made of why you're the best, and those little notes i took on you.
letting go has never been easy for me, and i hate that about myself.
will we ever be able to talk to each other again? will we ever be able to say hello to each other, and have a conversation about life as if nothing had changed? would you ever take me back, knowing what i'm truly like? was it a lie? did you actually believe that things could've worked out in the future? you certainly got me believing it. did you lie because you thought you would let me down easier? did you sugarcoat your words that day, in hopes that it wouldn't hit me as hard?
i'm sorry but it didn't. i wish you didn't filter your words. god, i wish you broke it to me at a different time. i've only ever told one person about what happened that day, did you know that? whether it's for my sake or yours, i don't know. but it'll be hard for me to see bubble tea the same way again, after that.
it's funny, isn't it? you fell in love first, but it feels like i was the one who got hit harder. i never meant to fall in love with you, but you ended up teaching me so much about healthy relationships and loving another person.
people say that this is never true,
but i do think we were just the right people at the wrong time.
i hope we can someday look back at this time and laugh together, without a care in the world.
i wonder if in the future, when we've both healed, if we could start over and do it right.
i don't know if i still love you, but i can definitely say that you still have a place in my heart, just as you did before.
you'll never read this letter, but i'll keep it next to my heart. hoping that one day, i'll be able to ask you about your day once again.
i'll move forward with the hopes that our chapter isn't completely over.
i love you, my darling.
signed,
mushroom
0 notes